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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,800
What do you want out the wedding?
Chocolate gateau! To marry Janet!
2
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:11,080
What's going on?
Donna slept with my boyfriend!
3
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,760
Last year! I didn't steal him!
4
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,840
Want to go loof?
5
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:21,320
This programme contains some
strong language and adult humour.
6
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:28,080
with bubbles in it
7
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:34,000
handle anything stronger now
8
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:09,520
Why d'you keep going to the toilet?
Been a habit since birth, Jonny.
9
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,840
Today? Eaten something weird?
10
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,200
What - like a fist?
11
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,480
I mean, have you got the squits?
12
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:21,520
I'm not talking about
my toilet habits. Get that at work!
13
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,720
The bathroom echoes.
It's haunting like whale song.
14
00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:29,320
Why aren't you at work? Half day.
Why aren't you?
15
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:33,680
We've talked this through -
I'm a lazy gobshite.
16
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:37,160
Anyway,
I've just got to go for a lash.
17
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:40,320
Is there porn in that toilet?
18
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:44,760
Exactly! Every time I wank,
I speak to you in the middle!
19
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,200
Does Jonny have secretive patches?
20
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:56,800
I suppose. He buried his faeces
in the yard for a while.
21
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:01,200
Why? What's up?
Gaz being all closed-off?
22
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:06,480
It's like there's something wrong,
but, if I ask, he's snippy.
23
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:12,400
Snippy? Who are you - Ernest
Hemingway? Who's Ernest Hemingway?
24
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,120
Dunno. I just wanted to offend you.
25
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:20,280
What would you do? Would you get it
out of him with femi-talk torture?
26
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:27,600
What's that? "Why don't we talk?
Can't we relate any more?
Should we try for a baby?"
27
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,200
No, probably not.
28
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:35,040
But, then again, I've fallen out
of love with Jonny recently.
29
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,680
Mmm!
30
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,800
You said you had a present for me.
31
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:49,040
It wasn't the cereal, was it?
That was stupid!
32
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:54,280
No. It's something to make you
grow mentally, not wheatily.
33
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,400
Mentally?
34
00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:01,280
Is it electric-shock therapy?
I can't go through that again!
35
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:05,360
No, it's gentle. When did you have
electric shock therapy?
36
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,120
I put my tongue on a battery.
37
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,520
Oh, God! The memories!
38
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:14,800
You've opened the barrier!
Do you want your present or what?
39
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,320
Yes, please! I'll close my eyes.
40
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:24,120
You don't have to. No, I like
closing my eyes. I have exceptional
eyelids. I like showing them off.
41
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,640
Fine.
42
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,440
Here we are.
43
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,240
Oh!
44
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,520
Well...that's not very good, is it?
45
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:44,040
Listen to me,
you have to look after this plant.
46
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:51,840
If you can keep it alive
and looking perfect, you can do
anything. Anyone can water a plant!
47
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:56,120
If they die, you get more -
like dogs.
48
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,280
Louise, this will be good for you.
49
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:07,400
You'll learn responsibility, feel
a sense of love for nature. It'll
be great. Give me the Green Thing.
50
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,960
Aren't you going to name it? Oh...
51
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:14,360
I did - the Green Thing.
It suits it.
52
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:43,120
Gaz... Hang on.
Just going to the toilet.
53
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:54,040
You don't just fall out of love
like falling out of Belgium!
54
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,800
Donna, I already did.
When did it happen?
55
00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:05,560
I dunno. You know when you watch
them and they don't know? Yeah.
Gaz is usually peeling himself.
56
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:09,760
When you do that and you feel
warm... No, what's the word?
57
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:16,320
I know, schluballybub in your
stomach. Yes, the great sanctity
of schluballybub!
58
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:20,080
It left. What's there now
when you look at Jonny?
59
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:26,400
I feel cold and frightened.
It's like he's this whole
other person - he isn't me.
60
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:30,160
I could have told you that
years ago! Jonny isn't you...
61
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:34,040
Bobby Ball isn't Shania Twain.
Isn't humanity fascinating?
62
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:40,120
I've agreed to marry this person
and die with this person!
A suicide pact?
63
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,640
When did you agree to that?
64
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:50,640
I thought promising Gaz I'd always
be moist on a Wednesday was
a big 'un! I don't love him, Donna.
65
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:55,160
You hate him? Resent him?
No! He hasn't done anything wrong.
66
00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:59,760
Try looking deep in his eye -
I bet it'll come back.
67
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:06,880
I'm scared. You're just nervous
cos you're engaged. I don't get
nervous. I get angry and punchy.
68
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:10,200
I'm not even angry, just...empty.
69
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,840
Can he do puppetry? No. Why?
70
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:18,160
It's a shame. I'd fall in love with
anyone that can make a sock talk.
71
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:41,120
Are you going to tell me
what's going on in that toilet?
72
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,160
Jonny, I have to tell someone.
73
00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,480
Go on, then! Jesus!
74
00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:54,760
I'm composing meself!
I was getting bored!
75
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:57,080
The other day...
76
00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:00,760
the other day I was...I was just...
77
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,560
I found a lump.
78
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,320
What? No way!
79
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:13,320
Been going to the toilet
to see if it had shrunk.
80
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:17,440
Gaz, they've got medicine
for this sort of thing.
81
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,200
What'll I do? Go to the doctor.
82
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,680
It's dead common!
I bet it's a cyst. Yeah?
83
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:31,840
Men get it all the time. Massive
survival rate. I know. See your GP.
Rule out testicular cancer!
84
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,640
I will... I'll drag you there
myself if I have to.
85
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:41,040
I'll go! It's just not on me
testicle! It's hanging out me arse!
86
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,280
KNOCKING
87
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:59,240
Hi. Louise, what's that?
88
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,840
The Green Thing. Green Thing?
89
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:10,560
Yeah, that's its name. It's dying.
Is there a reason I have to care
about this? It's a test.
90
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:15,920
David says if I don't keep it alive
I'm not responsible or natural.
91
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,680
D'you love him? Jesus! Heavy!
It's important.
92
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:24,760
Love's not important. It's a nice
sideline in the pursuit of wifeism.
93
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:32,440
What? You and Jonny. If you ignored
love, you could be with loads of
ugly rich men - and sort your hair.
94
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:38,720
Oh, God! The Green Thing!
Dying by the second!
95
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,520
You really care what David thinks?
96
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:46,800
Of course. He's worth hanging on to.
Like what you think about Jonny.
97
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:53,280
Don't tell anyone, but I've come
down with a rather nasty case
of schluballybub.
98
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:06,000
We go in, get a medical dictionary
and look at a picture of it.
I don't know what it looks like.
99
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:10,640
How can you not? I'd have been
squatting over a mirror!
100
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:17,360
Like the reflection of an elephant
drinking water! I didn't want to
look! What if it had a face?
101
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:24,840
We're here now. You'll have to look
at it, so we can diagnose you.
Won't you have a look?
102
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:28,680
Stand behind you
with your arse cheeks parted?!
103
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:33,920
You'd really like that! Don't try
anything funny - like farting...
104
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,000
or backing up!
105
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,720
DOOR CLOSES
106
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,160
Can't talk.
107
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:48,600
Must see anus. Jonny, hold on...
What?
108
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,600
Let me look at you. What?
109
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:56,640
The starey thing! You and cattle!
Can't take your eyes off me!
110
00:09:56,640 --> 00:10:01,200
Look into my eyes.
What's up? You've got shiny eye.
111
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,960
Come on!
112
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,040
When I look at you this close...
Yeah?
113
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,240
You turn into a Cyclops!
114
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:17,600
Look! Give me a hug
and kiss my forehead!
115
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:24,800
Have you got some tasty butter
on it? No, I used to like...
I like it when you do that.
116
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,560
Are you feeling all insecure?
117
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:31,080
Do you think
I don't love you any more?
118
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,520
Are you all periody-weird-weirdy?
119
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:38,800
No, it's not that. Look...
Jonny, we need to have a chat.
120
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,240
Jonny, I can't see anything.
121
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:48,520
What? Every time I turn around
to look, me backside follow me!
I'll get the medical dictionary.
122
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,120
..You get the kaleidoscope!
123
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,280
How's the Green Thing?
124
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:10,000
Actually, David, I think it would
be a really deep and beautiful thing
if we - me and the Green Thing -
125
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:14,040
went deep into the woods
and I planted it,
126
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:19,400
somewhere really, really far away.
You can't do that.
127
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:24,520
Oh, I can. If you love something,
set it free, right?
128
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:29,240
Then it comes back
if it truly, truly belongs to you,
129
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:33,000
knocking on my door, fronds wagging,
before we knew it!
130
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,040
You can't just leave it alone
in the woods.
131
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:40,000
It'd die. Yeah...
132
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:44,560
But we can't control nature.
Maybe it wants to go.
133
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:48,560
In fact, I think I can hear it
when I polish its leaves...
134
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:50,920
"Louise! Free me!
135
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,440
"My pot makes my trunk look fat!"
136
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,520
You're adorable, giving it a voice.
137
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,640
Come here.
138
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:06,400
If you really want to get rid of it,
I guess that's OK. Thank God!
139
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:13,320
Bring it to me tomorrow
so we can perform the sacred ritual
of stamen and the budular mantra.
140
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,280
Marijuana's rife in Australia!
141
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,680
Thanks for the lift, Mum.
142
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:31,200
Pleasure, love. Is he home? Dunno.
Hope not, the way he's been acting.
How has he been acting? Animal,
143
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:34,800
vegetable or genital?
None of the above.
144
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:39,760
Like he's in a world of his own.
You know what that is?
145
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,560
Midlife crisis. He's 24.
146
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:47,480
Feed him lots of lard, take out
a pension and you could be rich!
147
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:51,680
He's not going to die in his 40s.
Maybe he's lost his job.
148
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,760
He still goes to work.
Maybe he's just pretending.
149
00:12:55,760 --> 00:13:02,680
Your dad did that
with the Post Office. Set off
and posted whatever he could find.
150
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:09,200
Oh? It was only when we found him
posting bits of dead badger
that we figured it out.
151
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,960
Keep your eye on him! Bye, Mum.
152
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:26,880
Excuse me for finding
looking at your crack difficult!
It's just a peek. I'll pay you.
153
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:34,200
What would that make me? What's
going on? Jonny won't examine me
cancerous crevice! I'd do his!
154
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,480
You look at mine and I'll do yours!
155
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:39,480
Don't be so gay! There! See?
156
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:44,320
Janet...you wanted to be a nurse,
didn't you?
157
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:51,000
I can't even look at your arse
and I'm supposed to love you!
158
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:57,920
That's understandable! Mine's
warped. I'm sure his is pretty.
No way! Some girls like that!
159
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:04,600
Do they? Why can't Donna look at
it? I've got bigger things to think
about. Bigger than his arse?
160
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:12,040
Please! It's life and death!
If me mate's girlfriend won't look
at it, a doctor won't! All right!
161
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:16,360
But I'm not touching it,
sniffing it or naming it!
162
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,800
Can you see anything good?
163
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,520
I can honestly say no!
164
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:45,880
Is there a lump? Yeah. Oh, God!
I'm going to die! Hold on! It could
be nothing. What's it look like?
165
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,040
Er...
166
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:52,160
kinda looks like Celine Dion.
What is it?
167
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,720
Hang on... I'm looking.
Here we are. Yeah...
168
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,840
Genital warts.
169
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:01,880
What? How?! I don't know.
Picked them up somewhere.
170
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:06,560
It's on me arse!
It's only me that's touched it!
171
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:10,760
It can appear there first. Go, Gaz.
I need to talk to Jonny.
172
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:14,480
It's Donna! What?
You caught them off Donna.
173
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:18,560
Has she been cheating on me? No!
Gaz, go! Jonny, please!
174
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,560
There's no other explanation!
I never had them before.
175
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:26,720
She must've picked them up
off some warthog!
176
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:29,280
I better get back!
177
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:36,680
I should bleach things
and scrub you till you bleed.
178
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:41,000
I want to talk to you.
Sounds serious. It is.
179
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:47,960
Oh? Serious as in graveyard way
or serious
as in silly-little-woman way?
180
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:54,520
Both. Can we talk later?
Seeing all those medical dictionary
diseases made me horny!
181
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,680
You up for a bit?
182
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,240
Go on, then. That might work.
183
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,000
Are you all right?
184
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,880
You big dirty slag!
185
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:26,880
Is this about that yellow thing
I coughed up yesterday?
186
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:30,240
I didn't know it'd float...
187
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,320
No...
188
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:35,720
I've got warts, Donna.
189
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,440
Genital warts! I found one.
190
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:43,280
Eugh! Well,
can you go and stay with Jonny?
191
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:50,960
You gave them to me, Donna. You've
got them! I bloody haven't! Does
my fanny look like a cauliflower?
192
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,760
A bit.
193
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:59,040
You better be joking!
194
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,760
No, I'm not. So who was he, Donna?
195
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,680
Who...?
196
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:09,120
Oh, the genital wart fairy?
I think his name's Alan.
197
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:15,760
Who did you sleep with? What are
you talking about? I've not cheated
on you once! You're so sweet!
198
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:21,600
You've obviously got a bit on the
side! Have I? Did the doctor check?
199
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,960
In a way, yeah!
200
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,480
Janet had a bit of gander.
201
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:34,000
Right.. Janet diagnosed you, so you
think I've been shagging around?
202
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,440
Well, you have, haven't you?
203
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:43,440
Sod off, Gaz! You're not denying
it! You're just smoking and
looking angry! Tell me yes or no!
204
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,400
I can't deny it. It's all true.
205
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,760
So far in my rounds of Runcorn,
206
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:53,480
I've got syphilis, gonorrhoea,
crabs and...yeah...
207
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:57,320
something phlegmy's just come loose
in me gusset!
208
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:03,160
Are you saying it's true? It's not
like you need any extra loving!
209
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:07,080
You know I said I worked
at the bucket factory? Yeah.
210
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:12,480
Round here, Gaz, the bucket
factory's actually my nickname!
211
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:16,680
Did you sleep with someone else?
Yes or no? This isn't right.
212
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,920
What isn't? Are you apologising
for cheating? Did you cheat?
213
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:24,760
I'll let you come back -
just admit it. Tell me!
214
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:28,280
I need to know.
I really need to know.
215
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,640
Gaz! Yes, Donna?
216
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,920
You shouldn't.
217
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:40,480
I don't think you understood
the question! Yes or no?!
218
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:50,080
Should I phone Gaz?
God, no! Let him find you.
219
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:54,360
Everything OK with Jonny?
I could hear the bed squeaking!
220
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:59,440
That wasn't the bed. Jonny was
dreaming about seals and honking.
221
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:05,040
Maybe you should have sex,
see if the spark's still there.
222
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:13,400
We did do it yesterday, but it was
just sex. It felt different.
No laughter. You laugh during sex?
223
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,440
Have you seen Jonny naked?
224
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:23,320
You still don't love him? Don't
think so. I've got a plan now.
225
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,000
I know what I'm going to do.
DOOR CLOSES
226
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,520
Ciao! Look at me!
227
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,200
I need a witness to this.
228
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,920
Die, evil plant!
Evil greedy monster!
229
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,880
What will you tell David?
230
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:50,400
The truth - that all things
considered, at the end of the day,
231
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:56,120
hand on my heart, conscience clean,
and in the grand scheme of things...
232
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,480
it's a fucking plant!
233
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,080
Ciao!
234
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:12,960
Always somebody worse
off than yourself!
Donna, have you cheated on Gaz?
235
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:18,120
Did you cheat to see
if you really loved him? What?
236
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,760
I didn't say anything... Sorry.
237
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:25,800
I was just making sure. You used
the designated toilet roll?
238
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,520
I don't have warts!
239
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:32,000
Jesus! Do I have slag
painted on my forehead?
240
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:38,880
Not since the mid-'90s!
Nobody trusts me - my best friend,
my boyfriend... What have I done?
241
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:42,840
Nothing,
other than giving him warts.
242
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:47,320
I don't have warts! All right!
Stay and have a brew.
243
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:51,560
Then we can take you to the doctor
and get you checked.
244
00:20:53,760 --> 00:21:01,760
I've been thinking of developing
a catch phrase. I thought long
and hard about it, so here goes...
245
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,760
I don't have warts!
246
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:13,440
So? So what, David?
So where's the Green Thing?
247
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,800
I killed it!
248
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,960
Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!
249
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,560
I'm a murderer!
250
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,720
Well done! You did it, Louise!
251
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,960
What? I killed your plant.
252
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:39,560
No, I killed it. I cut its roots
off. It was a trust exercise.
253
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:46,240
What? All the other girls
bought a new plant
or painted its leaves green.
254
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:53,120
One said it went to another
dimension. You told the truth.
Congratulations - you passed.
255
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,480
You pretentious drongo!
256
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,520
You're missing the point, Louise!
257
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:06,720
The point is I couldn't care less
about the plant! I wanted shoes!
258
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,200
That's why I told you the truth!
Not cos I learnt anything!
259
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:13,760
I'm immature and I like it
and men like it too!
260
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:18,760
Know what else? I wish I'd burnt it!
I like burning things!
261
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,320
A completely edible Janet!
262
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,560
I've got piles!
263
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,960
Well done, mate!
264
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:59,280
Doctor, she took one look... She?
Yeah! Once Janet saw my ring,
I thought I'd build a fantasy.
265
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:06,640
What do you do about them? Tie
a string round them. No, you just
bend over and she went...pop!
266
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,480
Pushed them back up!
You need to get some of these!
267
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:16,800
Find Donna! I know where she'll be.
Pint first.
Let me! A happy, happy day!
268
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:22,640
My best mate's
got grapes in his arse!
269
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:35,400
Donna?
David, you're the last person
that I need to see right now.
270
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:40,600
I don't need to be reminded
of any age-old one-night stands.
271
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,920
Have you had warts? No.
272
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:46,800
One on my hand once,
but I bit it out.
273
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:54,200
What are you doing here?
Argument with boyfriend.
Argument with girlfriend.
274
00:23:54,200 --> 00:24:01,720
What was yours about? He thinks
I'm being unfaithful. You are a bit
of goer. Jumped into bed with me.
275
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,920
That makes you a goer too.
276
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:08,880
But that's a good thing. You know
what we call men like you here? No.
277
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,920
Neither do we...
Still haven't thought of anything.
278
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:16,600
Louise killed my plant.
That's why I'm here.
279
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,440
Oh, well, gosh, David...
280
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:23,360
if Louise had killed my plant,
I'd surely have to call the Feds!
281
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:29,080
She doesn't respect me. She just
kind of... Is it getting cold?
282
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:34,360
Are you referring to my erect
nipples? Maybe you need a drink.
283
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:36,280
What?
284
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,120
I don't mean it like that.
285
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:44,920
I've got a bottle of red at mine.
Thought you'd like the company.
286
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:51,040
Not if it makes you feel
uncomfortable. I like the way
you say uncomfortable.
287
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,440
Uncomfortable. Uncomfortable.
288
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,920
Why does everyone here do that?
289
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:04,040
G'day, mate! Want to get some
tinnies down at the uni? Carry on
like that and I won't take you!
290
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,600
Is it true
there's more sheep than people?
291
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:12,840
That's New Zealand. What's going on
in Neighbours? You're ahead of us.
292
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,640
I have no idea.
Have you met Steve Irwin?
293
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,080
Stop that!
294
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:35,200
Where I don't wanna go
295
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,920
We need to have a chat.
296
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,960
we ever wanted
297
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,800
I feel your lips
298
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:24,400
I hold your hand in mine
299
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,720
My heart could ever find
300
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,160
I feel your lips
301
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,720
I feel your lips
302
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:36,320
I hold your hand in mine
303
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,200
My heart could ever find
26545
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