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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,720
This programme contains adult
humour
2
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,720
What happened?
Jonny asked me to marry him.
3
00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:11,280
It's just... I asked Janet to marry
me yesterday...and she said... Gaz?
4
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:13,040
EEEK!
5
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:16,120
Look at me! Deep breaths! Come on!
6
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,560
I'd really love you to marry me!
7
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,400
Hey, Mr Bartender, give me a drink
8
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,880
with bubbles in it
9
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:35,800
handle anything stronger now
10
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,960
Aw!
11
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:57,040
What you looking at?
Me mum's wedding photos.
12
00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:00,760
Trying to get ideas
for our wedding! Oh?
13
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:04,000
Go on, then. Let's have a look.
14
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,080
My God! How fat was she?
15
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,760
Jonny! She's pregnant!
16
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,120
That's me in her uterus!
17
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:16,840
Hello, little Janet!
So...where's your dad?
18
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:21,440
Don't know.
There - behind that cloud of smoke.
19
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:27,120
She's got a fag! Check her! That's
my mother on her wedding day!
20
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:34,400
Fat, smoking, all in white? You
sure it wasn't Elvis's cremation?
Stop it! I smoke!
21
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:40,920
I'll smoke at our wedding!
Donna and Louise smoke -
the bridesmaids. They'll smoke too.
22
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:47,720
It'll look like
I'm marrying a dry-ice machine. We
won't walk into the church smoking!
23
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,600
We'll have gum for the ceremony.
24
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:56,640
I'll be at the altar with you
in an iron lung, coughing up blood!
25
00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:01,560
I don't smoke mustard gas!
If we have children... When, Jonny!
26
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:08,000
All right, when we have children,
they'll be short
with yellow crepey skin.
27
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:12,200
Be like giving birth
to your own grandparents.
28
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,880
Doesn't look nice, does it? No.
29
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,080
OK. I'll quit...tomorrow.
30
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:23,360
Good. We can put the money you save
towards the wedding. Yeah.
31
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:30,760
Hire a proper disco instead of that
bloke that just whistles. Whistling
Trev? I was looking forward to him!
32
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:35,760
OK, we'll have him, but we'll have
to get rid of Farting Derek.
33
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,400
Done!
34
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,120
It's exciting, innit? What?
35
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:55,240
Our first proper night together,
sat in like pensioners.
36
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:59,360
There's just less crumpetiness.
It's great.
37
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:06,360
I'm tired, Shall we retire
to the boudoir, mon cheri!
Why, let's, ma'am! French word.
38
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:10,840
Just got to brush my teeth.
I ate some mud today.
39
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,240
HE BRUSHES HIS TEETH
40
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:36,480
Gaz! What? What are you doing?
41
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:41,480
Brushing my teeth,
so we can retire to the boudoir. OK.
42
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:51,080
Gaz? What?
43
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,280
Why are you singing? Was I?
44
00:03:53,280 --> 00:04:00,440
Yeah, about bringing in the sheep.
I'm not against trying new things,
but I draw the line at livestock.
45
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,160
I wasn't singing. You were.
46
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:08,280
Weird! I didn't even know
I was doing it. Stop it. It's odd.
47
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,040
Grr!
48
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,040
Gaz, you're making noises again.
49
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,720
Grr!
50
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,640
Are you getting in or what?
51
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:34,920
That's a bit unsubtle, innit?!
What is?
52
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:39,320
You could have said,
"Enter my chamber of squelch"!
53
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,160
Into bed, Gaz! Not me!
54
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,720
I see.
55
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,160
Want some role-play, do you? OK...
56
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,320
My sleeping beauty...
57
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:11,440
I am your prince and I want
to wake you with my mighty sword.
58
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,080
I'll stab you with it... Just...
59
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,680
go to sleep.
60
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,800
Sleep? Yes. I was gonna have sex!
61
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,400
Now? It's 1.00!
I've got work at 8.30.
62
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:28,160
We always do it when you stay over.
We live together now.
63
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:33,240
We can't do it every night.
Don't you fancy me? Course I do!
64
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,760
We'll still have loads of sex!
65
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,280
We can do it whenever we want.
66
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:41,040
Even in the mornings? Yes.
67
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,640
Or on Tuesdays? Yes.
68
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,960
8.30 on a Sunday night if you like.
69
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,600
Monarch Of The Glen's on then!
Go to sleep!
70
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,440
Fine.
71
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,280
Gaz...
72
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,160
Yeah?
73
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,880
If you have to do that,
try not to blurt it up my back!
74
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,800
A secret admirer!
75
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,320
Who are you?
76
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,480
Who do I know who smells of...paper?
77
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,320
What do they want this time?
78
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,120
Oh, my God!
79
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,200
A-hem!
80
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,600
What?
81
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:13,200
COUGHING
82
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:20,200
Jonny, have you turned gay?
No, I am doing my cough.
83
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,680
Why? Look what you're doing!
84
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:32,360
You're not still going on about
giving up? Tomorrow! Janet, it
stinks. It doesn't suit you. Does!
85
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,640
Makes me look big and clever!
86
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,360
Janet, look at yourself.
87
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,760
Look! You're like an angel,
88
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,720
a beautiful, blonde,
hairy-legged angel.
89
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:48,040
Look, Jonny! Heavenly clouds
coming out of my mouth.
90
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:53,320
Then there's the cost! £5 a day,
7 days a week, 52 weeks a year...
91
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:57,760
That's...£1,820.
How did you do that?
92
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:02,120
I'm mathematically gifted.
It's both a joy and a curse.
93
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,520
I know it's expensive, but...
94
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:09,360
What about your health and
your stench? What are you on about?
95
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:15,480
I don't want to marry you
and 20 years later you're dead!
I'm not gonna die!
96
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,680
It's just a bad investment, really.
97
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,440
Jonny, I'll give up soon, OK?
98
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:28,000
Soon? When's soon? When we have
children? That's ages away!
99
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,160
Like ten years...
100
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:34,440
Look - do you really wanna leave
all this behind?
101
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,280
Jonny, what are you doing?
102
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:45,280
I'm like the man from the poster,
you know, the sensitive one
with the baby and the love...
103
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,600
Oh, yeah. Dead ringer!
104
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:53,640
Look, just try. Just try for me
and the little one...
105
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:59,440
OK. I'll try not to smoke today,
all right?
106
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:06,760
Good! But if I want one tomorrow,
I'll have one! OK. You'll do it
for me because you love me.
107
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:15,080
Every cigarette takes five minutes
of your life. Why couldn't it have
been this last five minutes? Bye.
108
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,280
You are Gaz Wilkinson...
109
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,520
a beast of a man.
110
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:33,800
You're strong, you're confident,
you're Gaz Wilkinson!
111
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,160
And girls wanna talk to you!
112
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:41,360
Gaz? Morning. Coffee's on.
Who are you talking to?
113
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:45,160
I was doing my self-affirming
exercises. Time for sex?
114
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:49,320
No. Sorry.
I've got to get ready for work.
115
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:56,440
You said we could do it whenever
we fancied now. I don't fancy it
first thing with a beast of a man!
116
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,840
Want some toast? That'd be great.
117
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,840
You're odd, Gaz. What's up?
118
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:24,720
You've got these quirks
I hadn't seen before. So do you!
119
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:32,360
Like what? Not wanting to have sex
with your boyfriend! That's not
only quirky, but barbaric!
120
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,800
Why'd you take the middle slice?
121
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:40,280
Can't tell you. Go on. I won't
tell anybody. Why do you do it?
122
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:46,080
The others are haunted. If you eat
them the ghost goes in your stomach.
123
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:52,480
Why the sheep song you sing
at night? Bringing In The Sheep?
That's the one.
124
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,960
So I don't dream about sheep.
125
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:59,800
What's wrong with dreaming
about sheep? I'm scared of them.
126
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:06,160
You're scared of sheep?
That's stupid! They can't harm you!
127
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:10,520
That's what they want you to think!
You listened to them?
128
00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:13,760
Gaaaaaz! Gaaaaaz!
129
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:18,000
Join us, Gaaaaaz! You're
being silly. Talking nonsense!
130
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:24,880
It's just one of those things.
You learn a lot of things
when you start living together.
131
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:29,600
I'm scared of sheep.
You're scared of sex! I'm not!
132
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:34,240
Why won't you do it with me, then?
I will! We'll talk tonight.
133
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,240
Over a lamb kebab!
134
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:53,600
from your lies
135
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:58,480
I don't need you
136
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,600
for the first time
137
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,920
I know it's for real
138
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,760
What is that smell?
139
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:35,840
I'm desmokefying the house.
Air freshener. Not that one.
140
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:39,920
Oh, it's you.
141
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,680
You're a catalyst of stench,
aren't you?
142
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:48,720
Louise, what are you doing here? I
came to see my lovely friend Jonny.
143
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:54,880
You're not my friend.
You're a girl. Girls are fun,
but they're also scary.
144
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:59,480
Like when you have a poo
with a death-defying radius.
145
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,840
I am your friend.
146
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:06,120
I don't like you or respect you
or want to look at you...
147
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:12,840
Don't smoke! Do you know how much
I spent cleaning this carpet? No.
Nothing. I used my spittle!
148
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:16,280
So don't dare smoke. Just go.
149
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:20,720
I came round for a friendly chat.
Isn't it nice of me?
150
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,240
OK...er...
151
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:27,200
did you see the footie last night?
152
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:31,400
No, but I did watch a live
circumcision on the internet.
153
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:38,720
You'd like to talk about that,
wouldn't you, what with you being
all male and willy-orientated!
154
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:43,000
I'd love to! That's what us men
talk about all the time.
155
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:47,160
I often say to Gaz over a pint,
"Gaz, how's your cock?"
156
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,960
Well, if you don't want to talk
about that, there's always me! Look!
157
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:09,840
That's just stupid! At least if I
send you a card, it trumps at you!
158
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:14,160
And he wants me to meet him.
Do you think I should go?
159
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:19,640
He could be a murderer
like my Auntie Nigel or...
160
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:24,560
like Prince Harry, all bad and rich
with a corruptible older brother.
161
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,720
Louise!
162
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:32,880
D'oh! You smoke, I choke.
A dog is for life,
not just for Christmas, etc.
163
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:36,800
Jonny, you're supposed to guide me
in the right direction!
164
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,280
You should just go away!
165
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,880
I should meet him?
Just get out of my house!
166
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:47,160
Oh! That one was herbal! So what?
167
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:53,560
If you were going to be shot,
would you rather be shot by a gun
or a carrot?
168
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,440
See? It makes no difference.
169
00:14:56,440 --> 00:15:00,560
Thanks, Jonny. What you're trying
to say is I should go.
170
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,600
You've been a friend. Mwah!
171
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:07,280
Do you not listen?
Not to you, no. Ciao!
172
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:18,360
Do you know what makes me angry?
What? Everything.
173
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,720
Are you OK?
174
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,680
I'm perfectly pissing fine,
you slag!
175
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:30,240
Janet, are you OK? Have a fag. No!
You evil temptress!
176
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:35,360
Given up smoking? For the wedding!
That's brave! I'm proud of you.
177
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:39,200
When I tried stopping,
I turned into... Say it!
178
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,680
I understand.
179
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,520
Have some of this.
180
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:50,440
I'm so hungry. Why don't you chew
gum? Why don't you?!
181
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:54,320
OK! I'll go.
I can see you're in a mood!
182
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:59,640
It's the nicotine. What do you
wanna talk about? Well, it's Gaz!
183
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:05,040
It's always Gaz! What - can you not
live without Gaz, you stupid twat?
184
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,280
He has habits... Who cares?
185
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:12,840
He sings special songs to himself
and it's...just odd.
186
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:19,120
That's a problem?
Jonny bursts things on himself
and asks me to smell them!
187
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:26,240
He gives himself little
life-affirming talks every morning
and he wants sex all the time.
188
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:30,560
Since you've been here,
you've done this 18 times. Have I?
189
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:37,320
You do it all the time!
No wonder no-one likes you!
And you pull your ear lobes!
190
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:44,360
By the time you're 40, you'll look
like one of Sting's tribe! Am I
that annoying? Yes! We all are!
191
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:50,880
The thing about living together
is to ignore the small stuff
until it gives you an ulcer
192
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:58,360
and you want to murder Jonny.
Forget the last bit. I have to get
back. I need to get away from you,
193
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,520
to be honest...!
194
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,520
Still no luck finding a job?
195
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:13,800
No... But I got Janet to quit
smoking, so that should save a bit.
How long is that?
196
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,120
About six hours.
197
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,560
You're in for a treat tonight.
198
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:25,280
What do you mean? It's hard
giving up. It's just a case
of not lighting the cigarette!
199
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,680
I've done it for 20-odd years!
200
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,440
She's addicted, ain't she? So?
201
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:35,000
Think of something
you're addicted to.
202
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,920
Desiccated coconut! You got any?
203
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,040
No...
204
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:46,200
Imagine for the rest of your life
you weren't allowed to touch it,
not even smell it!
205
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,160
Why are you saying this to me?
206
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:53,480
I'm just saying she'll probably be
a moody cow for a bit.
207
00:17:53,480 --> 00:18:00,280
Buy her patches or a dolly or
whatever girls like. I will. I don't
want it to be like the old Janet!
208
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:08,400
The old Janet? When we first moved
in together, it was, "Pick up
those towels!" "Wipe your nose!"
209
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,360
I bet she stopped having sex!
210
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:15,640
No. Why would that ever happen?
I'm Jonny.
211
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,920
Jonny the sex donkey!
212
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,760
All right.
213
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:26,120
Why? Is...Donna floating
the love boat down a dry river...
214
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:29,120
with a paddle made of sand?
215
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,920
Does that mean not having sex?
Obviously!
216
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:38,680
Well, she just seems to be too tired
all the time or too busy!
217
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:43,600
My wrists will be bigger than my
neck if this keeps up! Bloody hell!
218
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:47,480
How long's this been going on?
Over 12 hours. 12 hours?!
219
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:54,200
Nightmare!
These overalls are tight anyway, but
with balls like space hoppers...!
220
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:59,120
She hasn't got bored of sex, has
she? What would I do if she did?
221
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,960
I'm scared...
222
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:09,520
I'm scared and confused...
with a constant semi.
223
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:14,520
You know I'm getting patches
to help Janet stop smoking? Yeah.
224
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,200
Maybe you should get Donna some...
225
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,640
you know, aids...
226
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:28,640
You ever tried any of them aids
with Janet? No... Didn't you hear?
I'm Jonny. Jonny the sex donkey!
227
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,680
Eeyore!
228
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:38,760
Ow! Louise? Hi, Donna.
I was just looking for you.
229
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:43,600
I've got news of paramount
importance. My life is in danger.
230
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:51,240
Oh, my God! A Spandau Ballet bomb!
231
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:55,160
Who's it from? I don't know.
He wants me to meet him.
232
00:19:55,160 --> 00:20:00,560
You going? I was thinking about it.
He could be a psycho killer
233
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,920
or a Geri Halliwell fan!
234
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:07,760
Yeah! Anyways, what I was thinking
is we should all go.
235
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:14,040
It's tonight and it's dangerous.
So? So,
I was going to have sex tonight.
236
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:18,760
This is better than sex!
You and Janet hide, I'll meet him,
237
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:23,800
and if he's going to kill me,
you jump out and say boo!
238
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:31,320
If only Tupac and Biggie thought
of that! So, will you come? No! You
should tell the police! I'm going!
239
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:37,400
If I die,
my blood will be on your hands,
like a terrible manicure, for ever!
240
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:44,120
You can't go on your own. Exactly!
Isn't emotional blackmail fun?
I'll go and tell Janet.
241
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,360
What's a multiple orgasm?
242
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,480
Must mean with two women.
243
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,680
One on each hand like mittens.
244
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:53,800
Jonny, what have you done to
my house? It's all tidy and sweet!
245
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:57,360
I'm not a Walton! I'm scum! OK?
Scum!
246
00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:01,480
Janet, sweetheart...
got you some patches. Really?
247
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,280
Aren't you a caring son of a bitch?
248
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:10,560
They might help you give up. Jonny,
this is me without cigarettes. OK.
249
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:15,120
This is me with cigarettes.
Why would you want me to give up?
250
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:23,360
To save money for a nice wedding
because I love you. How is this
saving money? These are about £30!
251
00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:30,800
You can't even get a drag off them!
You'll die if you keep smoking!
You'll die if I don't! Just...
252
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:35,480
give the patches a try.
They've got real nicotine? Yeah!
253
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:39,320
I've got one on! They're trippy.
I've been sick twice.
254
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,520
I'll try it.
255
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:49,960
Got to go and make sure Louise
don't get murdered. Why did you
come back? Drop those off
256
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:56,080
and call you a sadistic...
Sex donkey? Don't!
I could snap you like a twig!
257
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,520
God, that was horny!
258
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:05,680
Tell me what's your flava?
259
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:09,800
Tell me what's your flava?
260
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,160
Tell me what's your flava?
261
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:19,160
Went by the name of Pecan Deluxe
262
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:24,320
HE GIGGLES
263
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,000
to the point of throwing up
264
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:32,760
with the Sweet Toffee Crisp
but I still can't get enough
265
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:39,680
You two hide over there
and I'll wait for him here.
266
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,840
Fine. I'm full of hate!
267
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,600
When he comes,
try not to look conspicuous.
268
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:52,520
If he's nice, give us a signal,
so I can go home for sex
before my vagina eats someone!
269
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,880
Someone coming. Is it him? Hide!
270
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:09,840
Janet... What? Do you really think
I'm irritating? I've never
liked you! What about Gaz?
271
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:16,880
He thinks you're a div! I didn't
have sex with him last night! What
do you think? You're a frigid boot!
272
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:21,840
I'll go home, not be irritating
and bang his brains out! Shut up!
273
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:57,800
Louise...
I didn't know if you'd come.
David?!
274
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:01,960
David Fish?
275
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:07,880
Oh, my God!
I haven't seen you since school!
You had that skin thing.
276
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,800
I discovered Oil of Ulay.
277
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:15,480
How did you get so fit?
Why are you doing a silly voice?
278
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,200
I was in Melbourne for eight years.
279
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:23,320
- Did they send you there
for killing ladies?
- No. My dad lives there.
280
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:28,400
Louise...I've always remembered you
with your lovely eyes...
281
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:33,560
your graceful way of spitting on my
neck... That's why I sent the cards.
282
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:37,760
You see, the thing is, Louise...
283
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,000
Janet, stop it! He's got to go!
284
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,000
No, he hasn't! I don't care!
285
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:54,080
God! Is that David Fish?
286
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,320
And he's not crispy any more.
287
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,640
Is he dead?
288
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,160
Gaz!
289
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,480
I thought about...
290
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,280
Oh, my God!
291
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:23,640
All right, Donna?
I was just having a sleep.
292
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:32,000
I'm sure there's
a reasonable explanation for...
What's that oozing out your pants?
293
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:39,080
Pervert! Wait, Donna!
I was waiting for you! Donna!
294
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,840
Donna!
295
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,400
Oh, man!
296
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:53,080
I kicked him in the head!
He was bleeding and everything!
297
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,840
I was going to go for an eye gouge!
298
00:26:55,840 --> 00:27:00,920
Had a better idea! Kicked him
in the head again. That's nice.
299
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:05,200
And now I want rough sex
and you're going to be my bitch!
300
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:12,400
Did you try those patches? No, I'm
not going to. Not smoking's cool.
Makes me into a fighting machine.
301
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:20,120
I could run for ever and never get
tired, then kick people! Sit down.
I can't! I've got rage! More pie?
302
00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:24,000
No... Why...? I do!
Janet, darling... Yeah?
303
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,360
Here. Give it to me, you shit!
304
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,440
Help!
305
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:41,680
Who are you?
What are you doing to Gaz?
306
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,720
It's homoerotic! I never did it!
307
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:50,000
- Forget her! She no longer exists!
- Why are you being like this?
308
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,760
SHE SQUEALS
309
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,440
At least I'd shaved!
310
00:27:55,440 --> 00:28:00,280
I've touched your shaven John
Craven - it makes me guts lurch!
26665
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