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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,300 - Betsy! Betsy! Guess what? 2 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:47,260 My dad took me to the Asian pop-up store. 3 00:00:47,260 --> 00:00:48,430 Look what I got. 4 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,780 Serenity Labubu. 5 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,000 - Oh, it's so cute! - Isn't it? 6 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,480 - I was at the Asian pop-up too. 7 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:55,570 - No way! 8 00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:57,050 - Yeah, look what I got. 9 00:00:57,050 --> 00:00:58,750 The Loyalty Labubu! 10 00:00:58,750 --> 00:01:01,010 - Oh, my God, it's so cute! 11 00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:03,270 - I know, right? - Yeah, I love it. 12 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,230 - Oh, dude, dude, check it out. 13 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:06,320 It's about to happen again. 14 00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:07,760 - Ah, shit. 15 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,110 - I actually have Loyalty Labubu already, 16 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,540 and I have a little costume for it. 17 00:01:11,540 --> 00:01:13,760 - That is seriously so cute. 18 00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:15,940 - Kenny, you guys, girls with Labubus. 19 00:01:16,070 --> 00:01:17,160 It's about to happen again. 20 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,070 - Come on! 21 00:01:19,070 --> 00:01:20,470 - And then, believe it or not, 22 00:01:20,550 --> 00:01:23,120 I actually have Chestnut Cocoa Labubu. 23 00:01:23,210 --> 00:01:25,730 - No way! That is the rarest one. 24 00:01:25,730 --> 00:01:27,210 - Isn't it so cute? 25 00:01:27,340 --> 00:01:29,910 - So thinking cute! But it's really rare. 26 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,040 Are you sure it's not a knockoff? 27 00:01:31,130 --> 00:01:32,130 - Oh, dog, here we go. 28 00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:33,780 - Yeah, I checked. 29 00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:35,920 If anyone's fake, it's probably yours, you fat bitch. 30 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,610 - Suck it, skank! - Eat shit! 31 00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:38,790 - Stupid slut! 32 00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:41,710 - Ahh! 33 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:44,840 - Yeah, yeah! 34 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:48,840 - Yeah, yeah! - Hey! 35 00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:51,240 Hey, hey, hey, hey, break it up, break it up! 36 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,720 - She's rubbing everyone's noses in her Labubus. 37 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:57,240 - Both of you to the counselor's office, now! 38 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,160 - She totally started it! - I did not. 39 00:01:59,290 --> 00:02:00,720 Shut up. I did not. 40 00:02:00,810 --> 00:02:02,510 - She came up to me at my locker with her Labubu 41 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,030 and started talking shit. 42 00:02:04,030 --> 00:02:07,080 - You talk shit about my Labubus every day, whore. 43 00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:09,860 - Um... 44 00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:11,650 yea, love your enemies 45 00:02:11,780 --> 00:02:13,740 and pray for those who persecute you. 46 00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:16,350 - Tell her to stop saying my Labubus are knockoffs. 47 00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:19,740 - I-I'm sorry, what is a Labubu? 48 00:02:19,830 --> 00:02:21,400 - It's a little monster accessory. 49 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,620 - They come in blind boxes, 50 00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,180 so you never know which one you're gonna get. 51 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,620 - Like, you could just luck out 52 00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:27,580 and get a Time to Chill Pajama Gold Labubu. 53 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,010 - Oh, my God, that one is so cute. 54 00:02:29,140 --> 00:02:31,360 - It's so cute, right? 55 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,840 - Uh, all right, ladies, 56 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,630 w-why don't you just give me the dolls 57 00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:36,190 until the end of the school day? 58 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,630 both: That's not fair! 59 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:38,980 - Go on out to recess. 60 00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:40,850 You can pick up your Labubus after school. 61 00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:43,640 - Wow. What kind of counseling was that? 62 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,640 - I don't know, Jesus sucks, dude. 63 00:02:45,770 --> 00:02:47,990 - Our old counselor was so much better. 64 00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:01,440 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, get some more over there. 65 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,050 - This side's starting to fall. 66 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,400 - We are the kings of the castle! 67 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:05,790 Let us in! 68 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,230 - Hey, Butters. 69 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,360 - Oh, well, uh, hey, Red. 70 00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:12,880 - Um, I was just wondering 71 00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:14,410 what you're doing this weekend. 72 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,450 - Who, me? 73 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,890 - Yeah. 74 00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:22,720 Um, I'm having a birthday party at my house, 75 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:26,850 and I was seeing if maybe you'd want to come hang out? 76 00:03:28,940 --> 00:03:30,680 - You're talking about me? 77 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,640 - Yeah, I don't know, it's probably stupid. 78 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,380 I shouldn't have asked. Never mind. 79 00:03:34,510 --> 00:03:36,210 - No, no, I'd love to come hang out with you 80 00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:37,250 on your birthday, Red. 81 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,260 - Really? You would? 82 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,260 - Well, sure! 83 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,690 - Okay, that's great. 84 00:03:40,690 --> 00:03:42,130 I'll text you all the details. 85 00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,000 - Okay, Red, I'll see you there. 86 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,610 - Okay, and um, 87 00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:47,350 maybe I'll text you my birthday wishlist, too, 88 00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:49,090 in case, you know, you want to get me a present. 89 00:03:49,220 --> 00:03:50,960 - Sure thing! 90 00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:55,710 Oh, my God, you guys, 91 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,670 Red wants to hang out with me! 92 00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:59,580 - That's incredible! 93 00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:01,320 - Bro, it seems like she really likes you. 94 00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:05,980 "Really excited to see you Saturday." 95 00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:07,290 Whoa. 96 00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:09,420 Me and Red. - Lucky. 97 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:14,510 "Here is my birthday gift wishlist." 98 00:04:16,250 --> 00:04:19,250 "This exact Labubu." 99 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:26,000 Holy shit, you guys, you know what I think? 100 00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:28,480 I think on Saturday I'm gonna find out if red-haired girls 101 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,740 have a red bush! 102 00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:31,350 - Wow! - Wow! 103 00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:44,450 - Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store. 104 00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:46,980 Can I take a order, please? 105 00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:49,810 - Wait, didn't this place used to be City Wok? 106 00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,980 - Yeah, but whole country change. 107 00:04:52,110 --> 00:04:52,940 Didn't you hear the news? 108 00:04:53,070 --> 00:04:54,640 Wok is dead. 109 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:57,250 This City Pop-Up now. What do you like to have? 110 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,770 We got City Pop-up key chains, 111 00:04:58,770 --> 00:05:00,160 City cell phone charm, 112 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,910 City anime sculpture. 113 00:05:01,990 --> 00:05:04,210 - Well, actually, I'm looking for a Labubu. 114 00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:06,480 - Ah, yeah, everyone love Labubu. 115 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,210 They real hard to keep in stock. 116 00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,390 Very expensive 'cause of tariffs. 117 00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:12,050 - You know, uh, it's really important. 118 00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:13,480 I got this new girlfriend, 119 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:15,920 and she wants this specific Labubu for her birthday. 120 00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:18,010 - Oh, that very rare Labubu. 121 00:05:18,010 --> 00:05:20,180 You only find that in a mystery box. 122 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,710 - Mystery box? 123 00:05:21,790 --> 00:05:23,580 - Hi. Are you guys still serving food? 124 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:25,930 - No, no, no, Wok is dead. Haven't you heard the news? 125 00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:29,370 - Can't I just buy this Labubu? 126 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:30,850 - No, that not the way it work. 127 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,980 You buy mystery box, you open it, 128 00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:34,590 hopefully you get the one you want. 129 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,370 - Okay, how much is a mystery box? 130 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,330 - $85. 131 00:05:38,330 --> 00:05:39,420 - 85? 132 00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:41,380 - Yeah, you gotta pay tariff. 133 00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:42,810 You think I pay tariff? No, no, no, no. 134 00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,160 You pay tariff. 135 00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:45,600 - Well, okay, I'll take one. 136 00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:02,140 - Yeah, well, Wok is dead, you stupid bitch! 137 00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:03,490 Stop nagging me! 138 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:04,880 Ah, dang it! 139 00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:06,540 This is the wrong one! 140 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,750 - Oh, yeah, that just Happiness Labubu. 141 00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,190 Very common. Very common. 142 00:06:10,190 --> 00:06:12,060 You try again, $85. 143 00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:14,280 - I have to pay another $85 144 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:15,980 and I still might not get the one I want? 145 00:06:16,070 --> 00:06:18,070 - Hey, it's not me, it's your government. 146 00:06:18,070 --> 00:06:19,370 I don't get fucked by tariff. 147 00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:21,070 You get fucked by tariff. 148 00:06:21,070 --> 00:06:23,900 In China, we call that hot potato. 149 00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:27,290 You're watching Fox News. 150 00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:29,780 The president has just returned 151 00:06:29,910 --> 00:06:32,910 from his historic tariff summit overseas. 152 00:06:32,910 --> 00:06:35,820 There's the president now, looking handsome as ever. 153 00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,740 Oh, and there's the Prince of Darkness, 154 00:06:37,870 --> 00:06:40,870 who's been traveling with the president as of late. 155 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,960 The president has made his way off of Air Force One 156 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,180 and will now speak to a diverse crowd of reporters. 157 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,620 - Mr. Pre--Mr. President, how did the tariff meetings go? 158 00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:51,360 - Ah, they went great, buddy! 159 00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,890 - Mr. President, we're all dying to know something. 160 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,280 Your wife, Melania, has been staying in New York 161 00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,670 and away from the White House. 162 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,940 - That's right! 163 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:04,110 - Well, what Fox News really wants to know is 164 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,070 are you fucking Satan? 165 00:07:07,330 --> 00:07:09,510 - No! I'm not fucking Satan! 166 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,120 - We're just sorta hanging out. 167 00:07:12,250 --> 00:07:14,040 - Oh, come on, President Trump. 168 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,560 With everything you've been doing, 169 00:07:15,690 --> 00:07:18,040 pretty much the whole country thinks you're fucking Satan now. 170 00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:19,830 - I'm not fucking Satan! 171 00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:22,310 - Can we go, please? 172 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,830 - He is fucking Satan. 173 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,750 - That guy's definitely fucking Satan. 174 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:29,840 What a stud. 175 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,880 - Yeah, Fox News! 176 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,360 All right, everyone, listen up, 177 00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:36,150 As you know, there's a lot being done in the country 178 00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:38,060 to bring Christian values back to our schools. 179 00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:39,760 Our new school counselor has some concerns 180 00:07:39,890 --> 00:07:40,760 that I understand he'd like to voice. 181 00:07:40,890 --> 00:07:41,800 Go ahead, Jesus. 182 00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:46,640 - Well, I'm just a bit confused 183 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,770 about the dramatic rise in fist fighting 184 00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,380 over these Labubus. 185 00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:51,550 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. 186 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:52,730 - Oh, the Labubus. 187 00:07:52,860 --> 00:07:54,770 - Kids go nuts for 'em. 188 00:07:54,770 --> 00:07:58,120 - I just don't quite understand what the fascination is. 189 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,390 - Well, they're just the new fad of the month, you know. 190 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,960 - They make them scarce and hard to find a secret one. 191 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,520 - Yeah, and then all the kids make their Labubu TikToks. 192 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,180 - Labubu TikTok? 193 00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:08,740 - Yeah, the kids make 'em and they watch 'em. 194 00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:10,180 I can pull one up. 195 00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:12,880 This is Kelly Bronson from Mrs. Turner's class. 196 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,920 - Hey, guys, this is another Labubu unboxing video! 197 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,190 I got this Labubu online. 198 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,490 I'm pretty sure it's not a Lafufu. 199 00:08:18,490 --> 00:08:19,970 I got the QR code right here. 200 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,970 We're gonna see what we got. Hope it's a rare one. 201 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,150 If it is, I'm absolutely gonna freak out. 202 00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:26,540 Okay, let's see, let's see, let's see! 203 00:08:30,770 --> 00:08:33,990 Oh, my God! 204 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,990 Okay, okay, let's start the ritual. 205 00:08:56,010 --> 00:08:57,440 - What the hell was that? 206 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,970 - That's a Labubu unboxing TikTok. 207 00:08:59,970 --> 00:09:02,230 - Kids go nuts for 'em. 208 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,800 - But that's, like, some dark Satanic ritual. 209 00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:06,580 - Oh, yeah, Labubus are demonic. 210 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,020 - Yeah, dark magic. 211 00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:09,670 - I don't know if they come that way from China, 212 00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:12,240 or the kids are infusing them with some Sumerian dark entity. 213 00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:13,680 - It's Mesopotamian. 214 00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:15,590 - Got it. So what are your major concerns, Jesus? 215 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:19,340 - Bro. 216 00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:20,820 That's not normal. 217 00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:22,510 These kids are in trouble. 218 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:25,210 - Yeah, that's why every school needs a counselor. 219 00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:40,750 - Welcome City Pop-Up. Take order, please. 220 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,660 - I have $88.42 in here. 221 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,230 I need to buy another mystery box. 222 00:09:45,230 --> 00:09:48,630 - Oh, sorry, Labubu mystery box $120. 223 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,670 - What? It was $85! 224 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,500 - Yeah, yeah, tariffs when up! 225 00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:54,630 You never know with tariffs. They make no sense. 226 00:09:54,630 --> 00:09:55,980 - But that's not fair! 227 00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:58,070 - Yeah, no shit, tariffs not fair! 228 00:09:58,070 --> 00:10:00,640 - Please, sir, my girlfriend's party is today, 229 00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,160 and I have to get the Labubu she wants. 230 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,290 Please! 231 00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:04,340 - It's okay, it's okay. 232 00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:05,900 I have idea. 233 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,120 You want mystery box for cheap price? 234 00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,340 You use claw machine. 235 00:10:10,430 --> 00:10:11,690 You try your luck. 236 00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,740 Use claw machine to get a mystery box, 237 00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:16,870 open it up, hopefully you get good Labubu you want. 238 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,400 Oh, you so close. 239 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,450 Try again. 240 00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:32,100 - Oh, jeez. 241 00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:37,540 - Oh, here we go. 242 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,370 I get screwed by tariffs, so I have to screw the children! 243 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,940 What do you not understand? 244 00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,420 - Yeah, well, Wok's not coming back, bitch! 245 00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,950 Go wok, go brok! 246 00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:55,390 Thank you for coming, Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray. 247 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,560 The reason I called you in today is because your girls were 248 00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,350 in a major altercation over their Labubus. 249 00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:03,790 - Okay, so what are you gonna do about it? 250 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,010 - Well, I was hoping we could work together 251 00:11:06,140 --> 00:11:08,570 to maybe just keep them away from the Labubus. 252 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,710 - Oh, sure, just take their Labubus away. 253 00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:12,360 Great counseling. 254 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,970 - Look, I have reason to believe that the students are using 255 00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:18,190 Labubus for some kind of... ritual. 256 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,630 - Yeah, but to do that, you have to have a super rare one. 257 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,940 - They're the only ones girls can use in dark rituals. 258 00:11:23,070 --> 00:11:25,110 - You know that they're demonic? 259 00:11:25,110 --> 00:11:27,510 - Yeah. What are we supposed to do? 260 00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:30,080 My daughter sees Kelly Miller summoning demonic forces 261 00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:33,560 on TikTok, then she wants to be like Kelly Miller. 262 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,780 - Did Kelly Miller summon demonic forces? 263 00:11:35,910 --> 00:11:37,600 - I don't know, she hung herself. 264 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,300 - Well, we should probably keep the girls off of TikTok. 265 00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:42,170 - Oh, yeah, just keep 'em off TikTok. 266 00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,960 That's some clever counseling there. 267 00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:46,090 - Do you have kids? - No, I don't. 268 00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:47,790 - Figures. - Well, when you do, 269 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,230 you try and keep 'em off of TikTok 270 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,100 and out of the Asian pop-up store. 271 00:11:51,180 --> 00:11:53,970 - Wait, what is an Asian pop-up store? 272 00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:56,360 - That's where the girls get all the Labubus. 273 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,840 - Where did they find this guy? 274 00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,930 - We told you he was a crappy counselor 275 00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:04,980 This is a Fox News Alert! 276 00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:07,980 - As debates on American tariffs continue, 277 00:12:08,070 --> 00:12:10,460 the question on every American's mind tonight, 278 00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:13,420 is President Trump fucking Satan? 279 00:12:13,420 --> 00:12:15,600 The president's been seen less and less with his wife 280 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,470 and more often with his new pal, 281 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,430 making people all around the world say, 282 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,820 "Donald Trump has got to be fucking Satan, for sure." 283 00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:24,960 - Well, for all of us who are still skeptical 284 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,960 that President Trump is fucking Satan, 285 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,700 Fox News has obtained some footage 286 00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:31,660 of President Trump seeming to be fucking Satan. 287 00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:33,360 This was at a golf course yesterday 288 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,450 where the president was heroically golfing. 289 00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,450 You can just make out Satan going behind a bush 290 00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:39,140 and President Trump right there-- 291 00:12:39,230 --> 00:12:41,280 he's fucking Satan. Karen, what do you think? 292 00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:43,800 - I think the president is definitely fucking Satan, 293 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,930 and I love it. 294 00:12:46,060 --> 00:12:47,670 - Of course, a lot of Americans still argue 295 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,200 there's no way the president could be fucking Satan. 296 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,200 So we have a body language expert to show us 297 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,120 just how it is possible. 298 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,160 - Well, if Mr. President Trump is fucking Satan-- 299 00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:58,990 and I'm not saying if he is or isn't. 300 00:12:58,990 --> 00:13:01,210 I'm just kinda hoping he is-- 301 00:13:01,210 --> 00:13:03,860 he mostly likely is coming in from the back. 302 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,340 Now, Satan has a pretty large physical presence, 303 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,480 so we're pretty sure President Trump would have to get on top 304 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:09,830 and-- - Ah! 305 00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:11,480 - Oh, my God, the president is doing things 306 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,610 no other president has done before. 307 00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:14,350 I love him. 308 00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:16,270 - If you don't think President Trump is fucking Satan, 309 00:13:16,270 --> 00:13:18,180 this definitely proves how he could be! 310 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,200 - Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store. 311 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:33,760 Take order, please. 312 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,240 - Are you the one that has been selling all these Labubus 313 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,850 to my students? 314 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,200 - Oh, boy. 315 00:13:39,290 --> 00:13:41,550 Look, it not my fault, these city prices, okay? 316 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,250 Labubus very expensive. 317 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:45,470 - Those dolls you are selling are cursed! 318 00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,080 - Yeah, no shit they cursed. 319 00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:49,520 It's called tariff. You pass it along. 320 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:50,870 I get the curse, I put the curse on you. 321 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,350 It's like AIDS. 322 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:53,920 Oh, my God, I got it! 323 00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,220 I got the super rare! 324 00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:57,960 - Hey, what the hell you talking about? 325 00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,530 - This is the one my girlfriend wants! 326 00:13:59,660 --> 00:14:01,570 Now I can take it to her birthday party! 327 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,710 - My child, put that down, it's dangerous! 328 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:06,450 - Hey, hey, hold on, that's super rare Labubu. 329 00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:09,190 That worth, like, $600. You gotta pay more tariff. 330 00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,330 - Oh, my God, will you go away? 331 00:14:15,330 --> 00:14:16,980 - Listen, both of you! 332 00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:19,500 There are more important issues at hand. 333 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,990 My child, you cannot take that to a birthday party. 334 00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:25,250 - Ah, shit, where he go? 335 00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:48,880 - Satan? 336 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,840 Why are you so sad? 337 00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:56,890 - I wish to be gone from this place. 338 00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:59,200 - I do not understand. 339 00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:01,160 If you do not want to be here, 340 00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:04,030 then why do you stay? 341 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:08,640 - I am forced to stay by the dark tides of destiny. 342 00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:13,600 I wanted to leave months ago, but I cannot 343 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:17,910 because of what's in this box. 344 00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:21,870 - What's in the box? 345 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,880 - The secret none must know, 346 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,880 and yet, all will soon discover. 347 00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:32,010 I can feel the tides of change. 348 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:36,020 The final showdown is upon us. 349 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,990 - Happy birthday, Red! 350 00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:58,430 - Butters. 351 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,910 Wait. Is that what I think it is? 352 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,130 - Well, you'll have to wait till you open it to find out-- 353 00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:05,440 Oh, all right then. 354 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,840 I love you, Butters! 355 00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:15,010 - Wow! 356 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,230 - I got it, you guys! 357 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:17,930 - Oh, wow! - It's so cool! 358 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,450 - Oh, it's so cute! 359 00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:20,840 - I got the super rare, 360 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,450 all thanks to Butters. 361 00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:24,370 - So are you gonna do it? 362 00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:26,810 - Yeah! We're gonna go upstairs and do it! 363 00:16:26,810 --> 00:16:28,240 - Whoa! We're gonna what? 364 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,590 - Come up to my room, Butters! 365 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:30,590 - Oh, my God! 366 00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:33,510 - Hey, if anyone wants to watch us do it, 367 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,640 come on up! 368 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,120 - Okay, yeah. - Great. 369 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,040 - Oh! This is all really sudden, Red! 370 00:16:38,170 --> 00:16:39,210 Wait! 371 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,090 - South Park Elementary. I'm sorry, we're closed. 372 00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:50,480 - Bev! I need to know which of the students 373 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,530 has a birthday today. 374 00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:53,620 - Who is this? 375 00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,750 - It's me, Jesus! 376 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:56,880 - Who? 377 00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:58,320 - The school counselor! 378 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:01,140 - Oh. I don't know who has a birthday today. 379 00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,670 That was actually always the counselor's job. 380 00:17:03,670 --> 00:17:06,800 - Can you just look it up in the school records, please? 381 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,060 - Hang on. 382 00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,420 Guess I'm doing your job too now. 383 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,720 - Okay, okay. Oh, my God. 384 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,860 I'm so excited to finally do it. 385 00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:18,900 - Well, yeah, I guess I'm excited to do it, too, Red. 386 00:17:19,030 --> 00:17:20,730 - Okay, I think we're all ready. 387 00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:22,860 Here, you take a video of the whole thing. 388 00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:25,170 - Whoa! Can't we just kiss first? 389 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:28,170 - Hey! What's up, guys? This is my TikTok Labubu video. 390 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:30,570 I got the super rare, so let's see if it works. 391 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,000 - Hey, we want to watch. 392 00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:34,140 - Yeah, come on in, you guys. 393 00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:40,360 Labubu, Labubu. 394 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,750 - What the heck's going on? all: Labubu, Labubu. 395 00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,100 - Ah! 396 00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:46,060 - Oh, God! 397 00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:56,940 all: Labubu, Labubu. 398 00:17:57,070 --> 00:18:00,550 Labubu, Labubu. 399 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,680 - Here he comes! 400 00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:07,170 - Ah! 401 00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,000 - We call the demonic forces! 402 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,520 Appear before us at my birthday party! 403 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:12,910 - This is so cool! 404 00:18:15,650 --> 00:18:17,530 - Ta-da! 405 00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:19,570 all: Ew! 406 00:18:19,570 --> 00:18:21,400 - Wait, that thing is fucking Satan? 407 00:18:21,530 --> 00:18:24,360 - No! I'm not fucking Satan! 408 00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:32,060 This is a Fox News Super Alert! 409 00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:35,330 - We may just have another Trump and Satan spotting. 410 00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:36,720 The two are rumored to be 411 00:18:36,810 --> 00:18:38,370 in a small mountain town in the Rockies. 412 00:18:38,370 --> 00:18:40,420 Let's go to our Colorado affiliate. 413 00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:43,120 - Yeah, guys, there's definitely black clouds 414 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,340 and swarms of locusts here. 415 00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:47,770 Um, probably another Labubu party. 416 00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:49,430 You know, whenever there's a Labubu party, 417 00:18:49,430 --> 00:18:51,820 the president and Satan usually make an appearance. 418 00:18:51,820 --> 00:18:53,210 - We've got our eye in the sky now. 419 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,740 Guys, what are you seeing? 420 00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:56,610 Yeah, you can see little girls 421 00:18:56,610 --> 00:18:58,260 running and screaming. 422 00:18:58,390 --> 00:19:00,180 The president just coming out onto the front lawn-- 423 00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:01,830 and yes, there is Satan. 424 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,880 They're definitely hanging out. 425 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,570 - Come on, let's go! 426 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:09,100 Lucifer! 427 00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:11,410 - So... 428 00:19:11,410 --> 00:19:13,800 it is you. 429 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,930 - Just what are you doing, Satan? 430 00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:17,630 I will know. 431 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:22,420 - Okay, it looks like Jesus Christ is now on the scene 432 00:19:22,550 --> 00:19:24,810 for some kind of biblical showdown. 433 00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:27,070 - I have seen your evil at work, Satan. 434 00:19:27,070 --> 00:19:29,600 I bid you leave this realm at once. 435 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,820 - You think I don't want to leave? 436 00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:33,910 I am bound to him! 437 00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:35,820 - Bound to him how? 438 00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:38,560 - All right, fine! Here! 439 00:19:38,650 --> 00:19:41,040 You all want to know the truth? 440 00:19:42,870 --> 00:19:45,270 Yes! We're together! 441 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,400 We've been together for months, 442 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,840 and I want to leave him, but I can't 443 00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:53,140 because... 444 00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:54,800 I'm pregnant. 445 00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:05,420 - He's pregnant? 446 00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:06,590 - Whoa. 447 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,510 - So now you all know. 448 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,030 I am forced to stay in this situation 449 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:12,950 for several more years. 450 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,520 - Uh, Satan is saying he's been trapped at the White House 451 00:20:19,650 --> 00:20:21,740 because he's pregnant. 452 00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:23,700 Uh, let's get our science expert in here 453 00:20:23,830 --> 00:20:26,050 to see if that's actually possible. 454 00:20:26,130 --> 00:20:29,530 - Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies work a little different. 455 00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:32,360 The term is "butt baby." 456 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:33,920 - All right, well, that seems to be it. 457 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:37,190 Satan is pregnant with the president's child. 458 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,970 So Fox News can now confirm 459 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:43,110 Donald Trump has been fucking Satan this whole time. 460 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,500 - Yeah! 461 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,800 This is a great day for Fox News. 462 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,110 - Yes, Fox News! 463 00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:49,720 - For all the doubters who thought Donald Trump 464 00:20:49,850 --> 00:20:51,330 wasn't fucking Satan, 465 00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:52,990 in your face! 466 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:54,860 We're gonna check in now with Kid Rock. 467 00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:57,340 Kid, you must be overcome with emotion. 468 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,690 - I just-- I just honestly didn't think 469 00:20:59,690 --> 00:21:01,950 the president was fucking Satan, but 470 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,870 now knowing that he has been this whole time, 471 00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:07,830 I'm just so happy. 472 00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:13,960 Well, I hope you guys learned a valuable lesson. 473 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,970 If you mess around and you aren't safe, 474 00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:19,880 it can have really big consequences. 475 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,280 - Yeah, I'm not having sex for a long time. 476 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,190 - And I'm done with Labubus. 477 00:21:26,190 --> 00:21:28,540 - Well, that's good, because as your counselor, 478 00:21:28,540 --> 00:21:30,680 I'm banning Labubus from school. 479 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,370 And TikTok. And cell phones. 480 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:34,590 Now get back to class. 481 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,250 You both have detention for two weeks. 482 00:21:36,330 --> 00:21:38,470 - Oh, man! 483 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,730 - Wow, new counselor's kind of a dick. 484 00:21:40,730 --> 00:21:43,820 - Yeah, but he's better than the last guy. 34637

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