Original subtitles

♪♪

[ Voice over ] HEY, I'M SADIE.

MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH ALL KINDS OF WEIRD CREATURES

FROM BEST FRIENDS TO IMPULSIVE BROTHERS.

SOMEHOW WE ALL FIT TOGETHER,

NATURALLY.

♪ IF I COULD CHOOSE A WORLD FOR ME ♪

♪ IT'D BE OPEN, BIG AND FREE ♪

♪ I'D PICK A PLACE NOT LIKE THE REST ♪

♪ NOT LIKE THE REST ♪

♪ IT'D BE BEST ♪ ♪ MY WORLD ♪

♪ MY SPACE, MY FRIENDS ♪

♪ I RUN TO YOU WHEN NO ONE'S THERE ♪

♪ NO ONE'S THERE ♪ ♪ AND OTHERS STARE ♪

♪ AND THERE WE'LL BE ♪

♪ NATURALLY ♪

Sadie: [ Voice over ] WHEN YOUR PARENTS

GO AWAY FOR THE DAY,

THERE'S A SENSE OF EXCITEMENT,

FREEDOM AND RECKLESS ABANDON.

IT'S PRETTY COOL FOR US KIDS TOO.

HANOVER'S NOT THAT FAR.

WE WON'T BE TOO LATE.

OH, BE AS LATE AS YOU LIKE. WE'LL BE FINE.

THE WEDDING SHOULD BE OVER AT 4:30.

I'LL LEAVE 90 MINUTES FOR THE PHOTOGRAPHS,

DINNER'S 6:00 TO 7:30, FIRST DANCE AT 8:00

WE ARE OUT OF THERE AT 8:05

WHICH MEANS OUR ETA FOR RETURN

SHOULD BE 10:12 P.M.

UNLESS YOUR DAD GETS LOST.

I'M NOT GOING TO GET LOST, JEAN.

IT'S LIKE THAT TIME WENT TO NIAGARA

AND ENDED UP IN THE SAULT.

THAT WAS COOL!

I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOUR MOTHER.

EMERGENCY CONTACTS ON THE FRIDGE.

YOU KNOW THE RULES.

NO PARTIES.

NO MORNING BREATH ROOFTOP CONCERTS.

AND HAL, IF YOU BUILD A PILLOW FORT IN THE LIVING ROOM AGAIN,

PLEASE CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF.

AND SHE DOESN'T JUST MEAN CLEAN THE FORT.

"AND SHE DOESN'T JUST MEAN CLEAN THE FORT."

WHICH REMINDS ME. NO FIGHTING.

THERE'S PLENTY TO EAT IN THE FRIDGE.

OH, I'M GOING TO MISS YOU GUYS.

UH, IT'S NOT EVEN A DAY!

WE'LL BE FINE.

Sadie: [ Voice over ] IF YOU EVER LEAVE.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

♪ WE ARE ON OUR O-OWN ♪

♪ WE ARE ON OUR O-OWN ♪

♪ WE ARE ON OUR O-OWN WE ARE ON OUR O-OWN ♪

[ ♪♪♪ ]

Sadie: [ Voice over ] THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN.

THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED.

THAT'S MOM'S FAVOURITE VASE!

WELL, NOT ANYMORE.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

YOU'RE TOAST, RED.

THANKS, BEN. GREAT HELP.

GOOD NEWS.

I FOUND A STORE THAT SELLS A REPLICA OF MOM'S VASE.

THAT'S AWESOME!

IT'S 75 BUCKS.

I MIGHT AS WELL MOVE OUT NOW.

QUIT SCHOOL, FIND A JOB.

EITHER THAT, OR BECOME AN AIMLESS DRIFTER.

RED, ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER.

I'LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING.

THIS THING, ALWAYS ON.

WE COULD POOL OUR MONEY AND RAISE THE REST.

I'VE GOT A TEN.

IT'S NOT MUCH BUT I'VE GOT FIVE.

HEH... ME TOO!

SEE THAT? WE'VE ALREADY GOT $15

AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN MOVED.

NOW ALL WE NEED IS TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO RAISE THE REST.

I GOT IT.

WE CALL MOM AND DAD AND ASK THEM FOR AN ADVANCE ON OUR ALLOWANCES.

Sadie: PERFECT!

NOW ALL WE NEED IS FOR THEM TO FIND TIME DURING A WEDDING

TO WIRE US THE MONEY,

ALL WHILE NEVER ASKING US WHAT IT'S FOR.

I NEVER SAID MY PLAN DIDN'T HAVE A FEW WRINKLES.

PFFT.

PFFT.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

SOMEBODY'S IN A GOOD MOOD.

LET ME GUESS, YOU FINALLY BEAT YAYA AT LEG WRESTLING?

NOPE.

THOSE TREE TRUNKS OF HERS ARE STILL UNDEFEATED.

I'M IN A GOOD MOOD BECAUSE TONIGHT,

TAYLOR AND I ARE GOING ON OUR VERY FIRST,

REAL-LIFE, ONE-ON-ONE DATE.

AWW. WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?

WELL, FIRST SHE'S GOING TO MEET ME HERE, AND THEN I...

WH... WHOA. WHOA.

[ Beeps of dialling ]

TAYLOR, IT'S MARGARET.

YOU KNOW HOW RAIN TOLD YOU TO MEET HIM HERE FOR YOUR BIG DATE?

UM, HE'S HAD A CHANGE OF HEART.

HE'LL BE PICKING YOU UP.

I THINK THAT'S SUPER SWEET OF HIM TOO!

OKAY.

OW!

MARGARET, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

RAIN, THIS DATE IS HUGE.

MOMENTOUS!

THE DEFINING MOMENT OF YOUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP.

YOU CANNOT MESS IT UP.

AND HAVING HER MEET ME HERE WOULD HAVE MESSED IT UP?

A LITTLE BIT. YEAH.

NOW, I'LL BE BACK IN TWO HOURS,

AND BY THEN, YOU BETTER HAVE A PLAN.

OKAY, NO PROBLEM.

HEY, MARGARET, JUST ONE QUESTION.

WHAT DO I DO AFTER PICKING HER UP?

[ Slam of door ]

FANTASTIC. I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

I KNOW HOW WE CAN RAISE SOME MONEY.

RAFFLE ME ON A DATE?

WHY WOULD ANYONE PAY FOR SOMETHING THEY DON'T WANT FOR FREE?

I HAVE THE PERFECT PLAN.

LET ME GUESS.

IT INVOLVES SOMETHING MIND-NUMBINGLY WHOLESOME

AND PREDICTABLY PRACTICAL LIKE...

UH, WASHING STRAY DOGS.

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

LET'S FACE IT, YOUR WHACK FACTOR IS A NEGATIVE TEN.

THAT IS SO NOT TRUE.

OKAY, SO WHAT IF MY IDEAS

ARE A LITTLE PREDICTABLE AND PRACTICAL.

I HAVE A WACKY SIDE TOO.

I DO-O!

I DO TOO HAVE A PLAN AND IT IS...

WHACKED.

TOTALLY NOT LIKE ME.

IN FACT, MINE IS SO NOT LIKE ME,

WHEN YOU SEE IT, YOU'LL FILE A MISSING PERSON'S REPORT.

WELL, MINE IS SO LIKE ME, I'M SURPRISED I DIDN'T DO IT YESTERDAY.

NO SELLING EXCERPTS FROM MY DIARY!

WHY WOULD SOMEONE PAY FOR SOMETHING THEY DON'T WANT FOR FREE?

HEY, KEITH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?

SO, HOW'D YOU DO?

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

A BOY WHO WRITES LIKE A CHICKEN? NOPE.

IT'S MY PERFECT DATE WITH TAYLOR.

BREAK IT DOWN FOR ME.

OKAY, AFTER I PICK HER UP,

WE TAKE THE BUS TO THE WHITBY FRY HUT.

THEN OFF TO VONNIE'S VIDS FOR GAMING ACTION.

AND, TO TOP IT OFF, WE CATCH "KOMODO DRAGONS ON A PLANE".

YOU LOST ME AT "BUS".

AFTER THAT, IT WAS ALL BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,

WORST DATE IN HISTORY, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

RAIN, THIS IS A BOY'S PERFECT DATE.

YOU HAVE TO IMPRESS TAYLOR,

WHO HAPPENS TO BE A GIRL.

AND FOR THAT, YOU'RE GOING TO NEED MY FEMININE TOUCH.

TEACH ME. I'LL DO ANYTHING.

WE'LL PLAN A DATE WORTHY OF ITS OWN REALITY SHOW.

MINUS THE MAGGOT-EATING.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[ Bleating of goat ]

SO THIS IS A GOOD DEAL, HUH, UBU?

WHILE THE ZOO PUTS IN YOUR NEW GRASS,

I BRING YOU HERE SO YOU DON'T MAIM THE WORKERS.

[ Bleating ]

YOU CAN GO HOME LATER TONIGHT,

AND I GET MY MONEY.

COME ON.

HAL WAS SO WRONG ABOUT ME.

I CAN BE JUST AS WACKY AS...

[ ♪♪♪ ]

WELCOME TO HAL'S KITCHEN!

[ ♪♪♪ ]

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

NOT THAT WAY!

DUDE, IT'S LETTUCE.

NO, IT'S THE EASEL ON WHICH I SHALL PAINT GREAT SALAD.

HAL, HAVE YOU LOST IT?

YOU CAN'T RUN A RESTAURANT OUT OF THE HOUSE.

I'VE LOST IT?

YOU'VE GOT A GOAT IN THE HOUSE.

MOM FREAKS OUT IF WE DON'T TAKE OFF OUR SHOES.

SO WHICH IDEA DO WE GO WITH?

YOU RUNNING A RESTAURANT,

OR ME GOAT-SITTING?

BOTH.

BUT IF THAT THING GETS IN MY WAY,

IT'S GOING ON THE MENU.

HAL!

[ Ringing of doorbell ]

IT'S SHOWTIME.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK ALIVE!

AND GET THAT THING OUT OF HERE!

[ Bleating of goat ]

[ ♪♪♪ ]

WELCOME TO HAL'S KITCHEN.

RAIN, YOU LOOK DASHING THIS EVENING.

THANK YOU, MADEMOISELLE.

AND TAYLOR, YOU'RE LOOKING...

DRIPPY.

[ Sneezing ]

THANKS.

[ Sneezing ]

EXCUSE ME.

THIS IS ALL GOING VERY, VERY WRONG.

DID YOU STICK TO THE GAME PLAN?

Taylor: [ Sneezing ]

YES. I STARTED THE DATE WITH A HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE,

JUST LIKE YOU SUGGESTED.

AND WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THAT?

[ Sneezing ]

I THINK THE HORSE STARTED THE DATE WITH A THREE-BEAN CASSEROLE.

IT WAS A TWO-MILE RIDE

BEHIND 1900 POUNDS OF STINK.

I'M SURE IT GOT BETTER.

NO, IT DIDN'T.

SHE'S ALSO ALLERGIC TO THE CORSAGE YOU TOLD ME TO GET HER.

[ Sneezing/cough ]

EXCUSE ME, OHH...

[ ♪♪♪ ]

HAVE YOU EVER SNEEZED 17 TIMES IN A ROW?

I THINK I JUST GAVE MYSELF A CONCUSSION.

[ Sniff/cough ]

CAN I TAKE YOUR... CORSAGE?

THANK YOU.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[ Blowing of nose ]

[ Giggle ]

[ ♪♪♪ ]

SPATULA.

SPATULA, CHEF.

LADLE.

LADLE. LADLE!

DARN IT, HAL.

I'M A PHOTOGRAPHER, NOT A COOKING GUY.

LADLE, CHEF.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, UH, DUST THESE WITH BASIL.

WELL, DON'T JUST STAND THERE!

DUST!

I SAID, "DUST", NOT "SPRINKLE", YOU NINNY!

YES, CHEF.

SORRY, CHEF.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHIP THIS CREAM.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR YOUR SKINNY ARMS?

WHIP! WHIP! WHIP!

Hal: YOU SPRINKLE, YOU WHIP.

WELL, THE GOAT IS SAFE IN THE ATTIC.

SADIE, PLEASE!

ENOUGH OF YOUR JIBBER-JABBER.

I'M CREATING.

HERE, YOU TAKE THE KITCHEN, I'LL ROUND UP THE GOAT.

HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

WELL, FOR ONE THING, YOU DON'T ROUND UP ONE GOAT.

YOU WRANGLE HER. WRANGLE, ROUND UP, WHATEVER.

I'M SURE IT'S A LOT EASIER THAN DEALING WITH HAL.

WHO WAS THE NUMBSKULL WHO PUT THE MAPLE SYRUP IN MY VINAIGRETTE?

DON'T MIND HIM. HE'S AN ARTIST.

THEY'RE NOTORIOUSLY TEMPERAMENTAL.

YOU! POTATOES. MASH. TODAY!

SEE?

GENIUS AT WORK.

MASH, DON'T MUSH.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[ Chiming of bell ]

[ Lounge ♪♪♪ ]

SO...

HERE WE ARE.

OUR FIRST SOLO DATE, WITHOUT OFFICER DIDOMENICANTONIO

OR HIS PARTNER SERGEANT KOWALSKI

WAITING OUTSIDE IN THE SQUAD CAR. [ Nervous chuckle ]

ARE YOU NERVOUS? I'M NOT.

I USUALLY AM, BUT IT'S KIND OF NICE

TO HAVE A FRIEND WHO'S ALSO YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE HAVING A DOG WHO CAN ALSO DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

NOT THAT I'M SAYING YOU'RE A DOG...

ANY DECISIONS ON YOUR MAINS, SIR?

YES. I WILL BE HAVING THE CANNELLONI.

AND FOR THE LADY? I'LL...

THE LADY WILL HAVE THE LAMB CHOP.

I DON'T...

YEP. THE LADY WILL HAVE THE LAMB CHOP.

VERY GOOD, SIR.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

SO... HERE WE ARE.

YEAH. HERE WE ARE, AREN'T WE?

[ ♪♪♪ ]

I MADE THIS MYSELF, CHEF.

I THOUGHT WE COULD ADD IT TO THE CARD.

YEAH, A SYMPATHY CARD.

YES, CHEF!

NOW GO PREP THE ICING SUGAR LIKE I TOLD YOU.

RIGHT, CHEF. SORRY, CHEF.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

ARE YOU OKAY?

OH, YEAH, EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL.

IT'S JUST A GOAT. I CAN HANDLE A GOAT.

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE MOVING IN SLOW MOTION!

PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP!

[ Crash ]

I... I'M GOING TO NEED TWO MORE MINUTES ON THE STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE.

[ Coughing ]

[ Clearing of throat ]

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[ Whispering ] HELP ME.

WHAT DO I SAY? I'M DYING UP THERE.

THE MOST INTERESTING THING I'VE SAID IN THE LAST HOUR WAS,

"I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM."

YOU HAVE TO OPEN UP. IMPRESS HER.

ACHIEVEMENTS, TROPHIES, BEST IN SHOW.

WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT.

[ Chiming of bell ] Hal: SERVICE, KITCHEN. NOW!

THAT'S ME! SERVICE BROWNING-LEVESQUE.

[ Clearing of throat ]

RAIN, CAN WE TALK?

ABSOLUTELY.

DID YOU KNOW THAT I MASTERED THE FIVE PLATE DELIVERY?

MOST WAITERS SPEND THEIR WHOLE LIVES TRYING TO LEARN IT.

IT'S ALL ABOUT... THAT'S COOL! I'D LOVE...

AND THAT IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE TIME THAT I...

WAS IN MY COMMUNITY'S PRODUCTION OF "ZORBA THE GREEK".

I PLAYED PEASANT GIRL NUMBER TWO.

I LIKE TO... FLEX MY ACTING MUSCLES.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

OKAY, EXCEPT FOR RAIN AND TAYLOR EVERYONE'S LEFT.

IF YOU WANT, I COULD STAND AT THEIR TABLE AND GLARE AT THEM.

OR JUST STAY HERE AND SCOUR POTS...

[ Loud bleating ]

JUST GOT WRANGLED.

Ben: COMING THROUGH.

WHO IS THE BEST WAITRESS IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE?

OH WAIT, I THINK THAT WOULD BE ME.

HOW MUCH MONEY DID WE MAKE?

THESE ARE MY TIPS.

THESE ARE YOUR PROFITS.

WE'VE GOT ENOUGH MONEY TO COVER THE VASE

AND PAY THE SORRY EXCUSE FOR A STAFF.

UM, SMALL PROBLEM.

WHERE DID ALL THESE PEOPLE COME FROM?

ATTENDANCE AT THE FOOD COURT WAS DOWN

SO I ASKED AROUND.

I HEAR GOOD THINGS ABOUT THIS PLACE.

OKAY, UH, WE'VE GOT ALL THE MONEY WE NEED,

AND MOM AND DAD WILL BE HOME IN A COUPLE HOURS.

SO EVEN THOUGH I HATE TO SOUND LIKE YOU,

IT'S TIME TO BE ALL PRACTICAL

AND GET THESE PEOPLE OUT OF HERE.

WHO KNEW WHEN I BROKE THE VASE THIS MORNING,

I'D RELEASE A NEW SADIE, A DANGEROUS SADIE,

A SADIE READY TO TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE.

WHAT AM I REBELLING AGAINST?

WHAT DO YOU GOT?

FORGET IT!

SADIE NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!

WELCOME TO HAL'S KITCHEN!

[ ♪♪♪ ]

GLAD TO HAVE YOU HERE, MALL BOSS.

WORD IS THE CANNELLONI RIVALS SENOR PEPE'S.

THE CANNELLONI WOULD MAKE SENOR PEPE WISH HE'D NEVER BEEN BORN.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

YOU GOING TO EAT THAT?

WELL, I...

YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN HERE SO LONG

IT'S SECOND SEATING.

THAT'S USUALLY THE SIGN OF A GREAT DATE.

USUALLY.

TELL HER A JOKE, RAIN.

GIRLS LOVE A GUY WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR.

OKAY...

HEY, YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT "CENTENNIAL HIGH"?

BECAUSE IT TAKES THE STUDENTS 100 YEARS TO GRADUATE.

I GO TO CENTENNIAL.

OH, YEAH.

[ Nervous laugh ]

Rain: GO TIGERS.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

OKAY, I'M GOING TO NEED TWO SALADS

AND THREE ORDERS OF BRUSCHETTA...

SADIE, WE CAN'T DO THIS.

SURE WE CAN.

NO, WE CAN'T.

ALL WE HAVE LEFT IS WHIPPED CREAM.

I'M SURE YOU'LL THINK OF SOMETHING, CHEF.

YOU'RE SO CREATIVE.

Ben: NO, NO! DON'T DO IT!

NO! COME ON, DON'T! [ Crash ]

GOAT... JUST... NO, BAD! BAD GOAT! BAD GOAT!

Hal: I'VE GOT IT...

[ Crashing ]

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

NO!

[ ♪♪♪ ]

I'VE GOT HIM SITTING, BUT FOR HOW LONG?

WHO KNOWS?

BACK OFF, BUBBLE BOY.

THAT'S WHIPPED CREAM AND IT'S FOR MY DESSERT.

NO! LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY, HAL.

I LIKE YOU. YOU'RE A NICE GUY.

BUT I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS BOWL.

AND IF YOU TRY AND STOP ME

I'LL BE FORCED TO DO SOMETHING YOU WON'T LIKE AND I'LL REGRET.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

GOOD.

[ Bleating of goat ] [ Crashing ]

CRACKERS.

AND CANNED HERRING AND LARD.

HERE, SERVE THIS.

TELL THEM IT'S A... A SWEDISH DELICACY.

TRY IT.

I WOULDN'T LET MY DOG EAT THAT.

I'LL EAT IT!

SADIE, WE HAVE NO FOOD.

WE...

[ Mixed shouting ]

WE'VE GOT A RIOT ON THE FOUR-TOP,

WITH A SIDE OF DISCONTENT AT TABLE TWO.

Crowd: [ Chanting ] SER-VICE! SER-VICE!

WE SHOULD HAVE EATEN SOMEWHERE QUIETER.

THIS ISN'T EXACTLY IDEAL AMBIANCE.

I'M SORRY.

AMBIANCE?

IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK'S WRONG WITH THIS DATE?

[ Sigh ] NO. BUT I WAS HOPING.

I'M SORRY, I JUST WANTED TO MAKE THIS DATE PERFECT.

I DIDN'T WANT PERFECT.

ALL I CARED ABOUT WAS SPENDING TIME WITH YOU.

BUT YOU DID SPEND TIME WITH ME.

WELL, EXCEPT WHEN YOU WENT TO THE BATHROOM.

AND THEN I WENT TO THE BATHROOM.

BUT THAT'S NORMAL DATE BEHAVIOUR.

NO, I MEAN THE REAL YOU.

I AM THE REAL ME.

NO. THE REAL YOU DOESN'T TALK ABOUT HIMSELF CONSTANTLY,

OR TELL ME DUMB JOKES.

AND THE REAL YOU WOULD NEVER ORDER ME LAMB CHOPS.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ORDERING YOU LAMB CHOPS?

THE REAL YOU WOULD KNOW.

BECAUSE THE REAL YOU KNOWS THE REAL ME.

OH... HOW COULD I FORGET?

YOUR CAT NAMED LAMB CHOP.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION.

YOU DID.

JUST NOT A GOOD ONE.

I'M GOING TO GET MY WRAP.

AND THEN I'M GOING TO CALL MY DAD.

ARE CRIMINAL CHARGES REALLY NECESSARY? I...

FOR A RIDE HOME, RAINBOW.

Crowd: [ Chanting ] SERVICE! SERVICE!

SADIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WE CAN ORDER IN AND JACK UP THE PRICE.

NOBODY'LL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

I'LL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

HAL HAWTHORNE HAS HIS INTEGRITY.

INTEGRITY? LAST WEEK,

YOU TOLD A BUS DRIVER YOU WERE EIGHT

SO YOU COULD RIDE HALF PRICE!

INTEGRITY ABOUT FOOD.

I'M SORRY, BUT WE NEED TO DO THIS.

Crowd: [ Chanting ] SERVICE! SERVICE!

YOU DO NOT MESS WITH HALLORY.

Crowd: [ Chanting ] SERVICE! SERVICE!

[ Rapid footsteps ]

WILL YOU SHUT THESE PEOPLE UP?

THEY'LL WAKE THE GOAT.

THE GOAT'LL GET ANGRY.

YOU DO NOT WANT TO GET THE GOAT ANGRY.

DO SOMETHING!

LIKE WHAT? I DON'T KNOW,

HIDE, SELL THE HOUSE. SOMETHING. ANYTHING!

[ ♪♪♪ ]

RAIN, YOU DIDN'T COMPLETELY BLOW IT. REALLY?

WHAT PART OF THE DATE DO YOU THINK TAYLOR LIKED? HMM?

ME MONOPOLIZING CONVERSATION,

OR ME ORDERING HER FOOD SHE DIDN'T LIKE?

HOW ABOUT ME MAKING FUN OF HER ENTIRE SCHOOL.

YEAH, THAT WAS A REAL CHARMER.

WELL, THEN, THIS JUST FALLS INTO

THE "SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT" RULE.

IT MAY HAVE BEEN A BAD DATE

BUT AT LEAST YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT ON YOUR NEXT ONE.

THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE A NEXT ONE.

I'M SORRY, RAIN.

I REALLY AM.

I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

I DO.

ALL NIGHT, IT WAS LIKE I WAS TRYING

TO THROW A BALL THROUGH A HOOP TO WIN TAYLOR A PRIZE.

AND ALL NIGHT, THE BALL JUST KEPT

BOUNCING OFF THE RIM.

IT WASN'T UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE THAT I REALIZED,

TAYLOR DIDN'T WANT THE PRIZE.

SHE JUST WANTED TO PLAY BALL WITH ME.

THAT'S SWEET.

DO YOU MIND IF I ADD THAT IN MY RULE BOOK?

GO AHEAD. SOMETHING GOOD

MIGHT AS WELL COME OUT OF TONIGHT.

Crowd: [ Chanting ] SERVICE! SERVICE!

[ Bleating ]

RABID GOAT!

[ Cries of alarm ]

IT'S THE PETTING ZOO FIASCO ALL OVER AGAIN!

IT'S NOT RABID, THAT'S MY WHIPPED CREAM,

WASTED ON A BARNYARD ANIMAL!

I HAD NO CHOICE!

THEIR CHANTING WOKE HER UP.

THAT GOAT IS EVIL! PURE EVIL, I TELL YOU!

WELL, HOW'D YOU LET HER GET DOWNSTAIRS?

DON'T BLAME ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO INSTALLED

A ROPE LADDER IN CASE OF A FIRE.

[ Shudder of fear ]

Taylor: YOU WANT MY CORSAGE?

TAKE IT!

I-I'M ALLERGIC TO IT ANYWAY!

[ Bleating ] [ Shriek ]

CALM HER DOWN!

THE GOAT OR TAYLOR?

Taylor: [ Screaming ]

UBU, STAY.

Taylor: RAIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Rain: GOOD GIRL.

RAIN, BE CAREFUL.

SHE COULD BUTT YOU. THAT'S WHAT GOATS DO.

EITHER THAT OR EAT A TIN CAN.

[ Bleating of goat ]

Rain: OKAY...

THAT'S IT.

Taylor: RAIN...

LEASH.

OKAY. OKAY.

[ Bleating ]

[ ♪♪♪ ]

NOW THIS IS THE REAL RAIN.

HUH.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

WALK ME HOME?

IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE.

SADIE, IF YOU DON'T MIND,

I'M TAKING MY GIRLFRIEND

AND YOUR GOAT FOR A WALK.

[ Bleating of goat ]

THE DATE DOCTOR STRIKES AGAIN.

I THOUGHT THEY HATED YOUR DATE.

ALL THEY'LL REMEMBER IS THE ENDING.

[ Ringing of telephone ] AAAH!

HAL'S KITCHEN, MAY I HELP YOU?

I MEAN, MOM!

YOU'RE AN HOUR AWAY?

UH, GREAT, OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

WE HAVE GOT ONE HOUR TO GET EVERYTHING BACK THE WAY IT WAS.

YOU MEAN YOU HAVE AN HOUR.

I'M OUT OF HERE.

AND I'M WITH YOU.

I'LL STAY!

GIVE ME YOUR JACKET AND GET OUT OF HAL'S KITCHEN.

YES, CHEF!

WHY WOULD YOU FIRE THE ONE PERSON

WHO WANTED TO STAY AND HELP?

AFTER THE NIGHT I'VE HAD, I HAD TO CAN SOMEBODY.

[ Deep breaths ]

[ Muttering ] WHAT ARE WE...

OKAY, YOU GET THE VASE AND I'LL START CLEANING.

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN. IF I HURRY,

I COULD STILL MAKE IT TO LATE NIGHT LUTHER'S VASE EMPORIUM.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[ Opening of door ]

PARENTS.

I DON'T KNOW HOW ANYONE'S SUPPOSED

TO FIND THEIR WAY OUT OF THAT TOWN.

IT'S CALLED A MAP, WALTER.

HEY, HEY, HEY, LOOK WHO'S HOME.

THERE'S MY BABIES.

OH, I SURE DID MISS YOU.

WE MISSED YOU TOO. ALL 14 HOURS YOU WERE GONE.

JEAN, DOES THIS PLACE LOOK DIFFERENT TO YOU?

NO.

IT'S CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.

MAYBE TOO CLEAN.

ANYTHING WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT, GUYS?

YOU GUYS DON'T GET INTO ANY MISCHIEF, DID YOU?

UH... NO!

MOM, DAD, THAT... THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS!

THAT'S EVEN RIDICULOUS.

IT WAS A TOTALLY QUIET NIGHT.

ANY QUIETER AND I'D BE IN A COMA.

NOTHING TO REPORT. NOTHING AT ALL.

Sadie: [ Voice over ] SO, TODAY ACTUALLY DID END UP HAVING

SOME EXCITEMENT, FREEDOM AND RECKLESS ABANDON.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,

I DID SOMETHING WACKY AND I EVEN GOT AWAY WITH IT.

[ Bleating ]

♪ WHEN I'M DRIVING DOWN ON HP STREET ♪

♪ THAT COOL SEA AIR SMELLS SO SWEET ♪

♪ I THINK OF STANDING BY YOUR SIDE ♪

YOU WERE SAYING?

♪ I GET THIS SMILE... ♪

Sadie: [ Voice over ] MAYBE WACKY IS OVERRATED.

♪ THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU ♪

[ ♪♪♪ ]