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1
00:00:02,933 --> 00:00:04,898
سابقا على "أنت عني لها" ...
2
00:00:04,924 --> 00:00:06,631
لذلك، وشون الآن فجأة رئيسك في العمل
3
00:00:06,652 --> 00:00:10,291
والنينجا الجنس بينما كنت عالقا في الخاص بك الحياة الربع المادة اللزجة الأزمة.
4
00:00:10,317 --> 00:00:13,148
وهذا تحول كبير الحمار في ديناميكية السلطة. هذا الخام.
5
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:15,561
- كنت في الواقع اسمه شريط العلاج؟ - أنا فعلا.
6
00:00:15,572 --> 00:00:17,085
يا إلهي. كنت تتصدر لي من القاع.
7
00:00:17,109 --> 00:00:19,771
حسنا، غادرت جوجل للبحث حتى على كمبيوتر محمول لها ...
8
00:00:19,776 --> 00:00:21,014
"ثلاثي الاحتجاز."
9
00:00:21,045 --> 00:00:23,784
تشعر أنها مجرد مثل هذا هو كل شيء
10
00:00:23,804 --> 00:00:25,620
تليين ضربة لحين يقولون لي
11
00:00:25,630 --> 00:00:27,409
من المؤكد انهم لا يريدون أي المزيد من الاطفال.
12
00:00:27,446 --> 00:00:29,617
مهلا، إم. انها غابي. يجب أن نتكلم.
13
00:00:29,669 --> 00:00:30,814
معلومات عن جاك.
14
00:00:30,834 --> 00:00:32,382
هذا هو لالا.
15
00:00:32,418 --> 00:00:35,544
لالا هو رئيس السوبر رهيبة
16
00:00:35,575 --> 00:00:36,890
من جمعية أصحاب المنازل لدينا.
17
00:00:36,947 --> 00:00:39,515
أوه، وقالت انها الانضمام إلى هذه الرعاية النهارية التعاونية في الشارع.
18
00:00:39,536 --> 00:00:41,619
وقالت خطف الاطفال كارمن بحيث انها تريد السماح لها بالدخول.
19
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,719
أنا ذاهب إلى البيت لnooner مع ايزي.
20
00:00:43,729 --> 00:00:46,236
We're trying to figure out
if we can have sex in twos.
21
00:00:46,261 --> 00:00:47,738
Oh, this was such a good idea.
22
00:00:47,809 --> 00:00:49,695
Emma's perfectly happy at Binge Club.
23
00:00:49,731 --> 00:00:51,188
Oh, my God.
24
00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:58,710
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
25
00:00:59,307 --> 00:01:00,706
I'm waiting.
26
00:01:00,831 --> 00:01:03,924
I'm confused. Are you upset
that we came home to nap?
27
00:01:03,934 --> 00:01:08,181
Well, apparently, you had other plans.
28
00:01:09,924 --> 00:01:12,152
Okay.
29
00:01:12,332 --> 00:01:13,479
Things went a little south
30
00:01:13,503 --> 00:01:15,562
when we accidentally started
talking about yoooo...
31
00:01:15,649 --> 00:01:17,534
Go. Slavia.
32
00:01:17,563 --> 00:01:20,031
- Yugoslavia?
- That's a weak effort. I'm sorry.
33
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:22,524
I'm fucking legally asleep right now.
34
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,268
All right, here's the truth, okay?
35
00:01:24,281 --> 00:01:25,494
Don't get mad.
36
00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:27,883
But without you, it just felt wrong.
37
00:01:27,904 --> 00:01:30,112
- Well, get the fuck over it!
- Aah!
38
00:01:30,292 --> 00:01:32,242
Do you want me to feel like the anchor?
39
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,349
Huh? Is that what you want?
40
00:01:33,367 --> 00:01:34,766
Me to be the one who drags us down
41
00:01:34,776 --> 00:01:36,675
into the dank murk of suburban monotony
42
00:01:36,685 --> 00:01:37,923
until this one claws her way out?
43
00:01:37,944 --> 00:01:40,246
- This is weird.
- Yes. Yes, it is.
44
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,799
Two red-blooded adults
sneak home to do the deed
45
00:01:43,825 --> 00:01:45,628
and take a little dodo instead.
46
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:47,580
Okay, hold on. Just a s...
47
00:01:47,589 --> 00:01:49,024
I'm catching up. So,
48
00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:52,382
you're not mad about us
sneaking home to have sex
49
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:53,971
'cause we knew you
weren't gonna be here.
50
00:01:53,994 --> 00:01:58,274
You're mad... because...
51
00:01:58,314 --> 00:01:59,621
Because we're doing it all wrong.
52
00:01:59,645 --> 00:02:01,997
Okay? We are doing it
all wrong, people! This...
53
00:02:02,033 --> 00:02:03,369
This is a poly foul.
54
00:02:03,404 --> 00:02:04,581
You forgot the whistle thing.
55
00:02:04,597 --> 00:02:06,381
Oh, please. Why?
56
00:02:06,402 --> 00:02:08,229
- I don't know, man.
- On his site,
57
00:02:08,255 --> 00:02:11,355
Coach Remi has "The Five Poly
Fouls That Will Get You Ejected."
58
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,907
- Who is Coach Remi?
- Yeah.
59
00:02:12,917 --> 00:02:14,125
Coach Remi!
60
00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:17,739
Portland's official poly guru?
61
00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:21,953
Anyway, I've been reading his stuff,
62
00:02:21,974 --> 00:02:23,475
and he has this training camp
63
00:02:23,650 --> 00:02:25,528
at the downtown Marriott, and...
64
00:02:26,528 --> 00:02:28,059
I think we should go.
65
00:02:31,133 --> 00:02:34,583
A, that sounds dreadful.
66
00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:38,303
Oh, that's it.
67
00:02:38,428 --> 00:02:39,742
Yeah, go... go on.
68
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:42,290
Okay, look, the two of us
need to be able to have sex
69
00:02:42,305 --> 00:02:44,617
without the third one getting
their feelings hurt, so come on.
70
00:02:44,627 --> 00:02:45,865
Come on!
71
00:02:45,942 --> 00:02:48,924
Come on. Do what you came here to do.
72
00:02:48,981 --> 00:02:50,451
I'm just gonna sit back,
73
00:02:50,483 --> 00:02:52,230
then I'll join in when I'm ready.
74
00:02:52,885 --> 00:02:54,706
- Like, right now?
- Yeah.
75
00:02:54,763 --> 00:02:56,945
I'm ordering you to
fornicate without me.
76
00:02:56,990 --> 00:02:58,487
W... w...
77
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,762
For me, uh,
78
00:03:00,798 --> 00:03:03,872
there's never been a
moment in my adult life
79
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:07,672
where I was less inclined
to have sexual intercourse.
80
00:03:07,698 --> 00:03:10,153
- Sorry.
- Emma, we tried. Seriously.
81
00:03:10,174 --> 00:03:11,871
Like, w... we even...
82
00:03:11,928 --> 00:03:13,813
I don't even know what this
is. Is this a butt thing?
83
00:03:13,837 --> 00:03:15,618
I mean, when in doubt, it's
usually a butt thing, right?
84
00:03:15,642 --> 00:03:18,232
Here's th... Here's the thing.
I think Emma might be right.
85
00:03:18,248 --> 00:03:19,750
I think that...
86
00:03:20,098 --> 00:03:23,074
waiting for all three of us to
be in precisely the right mood
87
00:03:23,089 --> 00:03:24,750
at precisely the right time is...
88
00:03:25,184 --> 00:03:27,446
- you know, uh...
- It's a poly foul.
89
00:03:27,453 --> 00:03:28,838
Now it's back again.
90
00:03:28,963 --> 00:03:31,371
Okay, enough with this bullshit.
Enough with the mortgages.
91
00:03:31,422 --> 00:03:33,301
Enough with the pumpkin-spice candles.
92
00:03:33,325 --> 00:03:36,344
We are gonna throw a
weird-ass pajama party
93
00:03:36,361 --> 00:03:38,630
like we used to. Do you remember
how much fun that used to be?
94
00:03:38,654 --> 00:03:40,607
And we're gonna drink,
and we're gonna vape...
95
00:03:40,645 --> 00:03:42,576
Well, you know, you two
are gonna drink and vape.
96
00:03:42,701 --> 00:03:44,543
But we're gonna dance,
and we're gonna laugh,
97
00:03:44,564 --> 00:03:45,885
and we're gonna forget about the world,
98
00:03:45,905 --> 00:03:47,262
and before we know it,
99
00:03:47,387 --> 00:03:50,728
we will be using this
stuff on each other.
100
00:03:50,754 --> 00:03:51,920
I'm good.
101
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,649
Okay, all right. You got
a bigger mouth, anyway.
102
00:03:53,673 --> 00:03:55,812
That's not really my thing.
103
00:03:55,847 --> 00:03:57,707
- Ohh!
- Oh, no, babe.
104
00:03:57,716 --> 00:03:59,545
- My goodness.
- We haven't actually washed that,
105
00:03:59,569 --> 00:04:01,117
so that's really gross.
106
00:04:18,336 --> 00:04:20,879
Lady lumps.
107
00:04:43,209 --> 00:04:44,751
Emma?
108
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:50,966
I'm gonna check it out.
It's been over an hour, so...
109
00:04:51,714 --> 00:04:53,293
Emma?
110
00:04:54,541 --> 00:04:56,067
Babe?
111
00:04:57,738 --> 00:05:02,565
Are you doing some sort of
sexy hide-and-seek thing?
112
00:05:05,015 --> 00:05:06,919
Marco!
113
00:05:08,636 --> 00:05:10,952
Oh, babe.
114
00:05:14,088 --> 00:05:15,893
Polo.
115
00:05:22,408 --> 00:05:24,667
Let's get you to bed, party animal.
116
00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:40,264
Oh, my God, you are the funniest.
117
00:05:42,178 --> 00:05:44,375
I am, aren't I? Oh!
She thinks I'm funny.
118
00:05:44,416 --> 00:05:45,649
I heard.
119
00:05:45,669 --> 00:05:48,799
- And who are you?
- I'm, uh, Zoe.
120
00:05:48,975 --> 00:05:51,141
The interior designer.
121
00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:54,696
At least, I hope so.
122
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:57,605
Nina. Little late for business meetings,
123
00:05:57,621 --> 00:06:00,134
- isn't it, babe?
- Oh, inspiration never sleeps.
124
00:06:00,154 --> 00:06:02,937
Girl's a genius, Nina.
Concepts are so cool.
125
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:05,191
Oh, I'm just channeling Shaun's vibe.
126
00:06:05,222 --> 00:06:07,208
We really connect.
127
00:06:07,244 --> 00:06:08,619
Creatively.
128
00:06:09,003 --> 00:06:11,809
Yay. That's so awesome.
129
00:06:12,129 --> 00:06:15,054
Hey, does anyone else need a
drink? I'm... I'm gonna have...
130
00:06:15,179 --> 00:06:18,083
- several all at once.
- Yeah, I'm in.
131
00:06:18,140 --> 00:06:20,193
I will have your driest rosé.
132
00:06:22,255 --> 00:06:24,597
Hmm. Oh, you, uh... you
think I'm a bartender?
133
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:28,784
- You aren't a bartender?
- Well... technically, yes.
134
00:06:28,799 --> 00:06:31,603
- But I'm also a licensed therapist, so...
- Aww.
135
00:06:31,882 --> 00:06:33,041
"Aww"?
136
00:06:33,078 --> 00:06:36,110
I mean, no offense, but if
you're a licensed therapist
137
00:06:36,126 --> 00:06:39,232
working here as a bartender, there
has to be at least one "aww"...
138
00:06:39,258 --> 00:06:40,686
- Oh, no.
- ... in that story, right?
139
00:06:44,555 --> 00:06:47,758
Well, okay, then! Um, I'm
just gonna go to the back
140
00:06:47,768 --> 00:06:49,104
and find our best rosé.
141
00:06:49,115 --> 00:06:51,539
That's also where we keep the
toxic cleaning products, so...
142
00:06:52,364 --> 00:06:54,182
Oh, no.
143
00:06:54,244 --> 00:06:56,797
You know what? Why don't we, um...
144
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,541
Why don't we take a
rain check on that drink
145
00:06:59,556 --> 00:07:00,872
until it's champagne, huh?
146
00:07:00,897 --> 00:07:02,986
Is that a great idea, or
is that my greatest idea?
147
00:07:02,996 --> 00:07:04,735
Uh, thank you so much
148
00:07:04,756 --> 00:07:06,226
for coming in, Designs by Zoe.
149
00:07:06,351 --> 00:07:07,655
Sounds good.
150
00:07:07,696 --> 00:07:09,351
I'm so stoked to work with you, Shaun.
151
00:07:09,370 --> 00:07:11,703
I think we can create
something truly special here.
152
00:07:11,734 --> 00:07:13,138
Okay, well, you'll hear from me.
153
00:07:13,173 --> 00:07:14,373
Or you won't!
154
00:07:14,409 --> 00:07:15,995
Yeah, the future, it's, uh...
155
00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:17,826
it's so mysterious.
156
00:07:21,246 --> 00:07:22,587
What the hell was that?
157
00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:26,554
Dickweed.
158
00:07:36,229 --> 00:07:37,786
Yeah, you can hold her hand.
159
00:07:37,911 --> 00:07:39,839
- Hey!
- Hey.
160
00:07:40,112 --> 00:07:42,508
Are you... you surprised
to see me? I live here.
161
00:07:42,537 --> 00:07:44,680
And you rang the doorbell
like 47 times, but...
162
00:07:44,704 --> 00:07:47,196
Well, you know... Hey, there they are!
163
00:07:47,207 --> 00:07:49,222
- Good morning, beautiful people.
- Good morning.
164
00:07:49,247 --> 00:07:52,218
Happy Saturday. It's a
great time to be alive, huh?
165
00:07:52,249 --> 00:07:55,080
Ah, truly. Just lost a
couple organs in the toilet,
166
00:07:55,093 --> 00:07:57,059
but now there's room
for the next generation
167
00:07:57,089 --> 00:07:58,259
of beautiful people to grow.
168
00:07:58,296 --> 00:07:59,580
Blessed be the fruit.
169
00:07:59,616 --> 00:08:02,906
So, what's everyone up to this
brilliant, blissful morn? I'll go first.
170
00:08:02,947 --> 00:08:04,959
I'll be at my office
scrambling to make a deadline
171
00:08:04,979 --> 00:08:07,925
while also watching these
lovable, little monkeys.
172
00:08:07,956 --> 00:08:09,776
It's fun, right?
173
00:08:09,807 --> 00:08:11,148
- Unless...
- Oh, boy.
174
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,537
- Oh, yeah, we...
- Yeah, no, we...
175
00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:14,285
The thing is, oh, Emma
and I have some, uh...
176
00:08:14,309 --> 00:08:16,496
- We have something.
- We have some bid'ness...
177
00:08:16,517 --> 00:08:18,023
- Mm-hmm.
- ... to attend to.
178
00:08:18,095 --> 00:08:20,071
Aw, how nice. What kind of bid'ness?
179
00:08:20,107 --> 00:08:22,705
Yeah, what kind of bid'ness? I
don't... that I don't know about.
180
00:08:22,772 --> 00:08:25,756
- I... I think it's a good question.
- They're asking, like, specifically.
181
00:08:25,812 --> 00:08:27,118
- Specifically.
- What are we doing?
182
00:08:27,142 --> 00:08:28,558
- Well, this is gonna be a lie.
- Yep.
183
00:08:28,582 --> 00:08:32,342
- We have errands and stuff.
- Yeah, you know, like... mom stuff.
184
00:08:32,404 --> 00:08:34,596
Well, you know, if you're
going shopping, Callie is...
185
00:08:34,652 --> 00:08:36,839
she has an amazing eye,
and she's very expressive.
186
00:08:36,845 --> 00:08:39,806
- Oh, yes.
- I like to poop at the toy store
187
00:08:39,825 --> 00:08:43,050
- because it smells like strawberries.
- Cal, I'm confused...
188
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:45,482
what smells like strawberries,
the toy store or your poop?
189
00:08:46,933 --> 00:08:49,407
All hail Princess Monster Face.
190
00:08:50,537 --> 00:08:53,828
We're actually getting our hoo-has done.
191
00:08:53,854 --> 00:08:57,051
- Mm.
- Uh, it's a twofer. We're gonna surprise Jack.
192
00:08:57,176 --> 00:08:59,182
Okay, so 2 minutes and 13 seconds
193
00:08:59,198 --> 00:09:01,687
to concoct the lamest excuse
ever. You can do better.
194
00:09:01,702 --> 00:09:03,462
- I think.
- You know what? I got this.
195
00:09:03,497 --> 00:09:05,039
You guys can go out.
196
00:09:05,364 --> 00:09:07,517
Yep, leave it to Uncle Jack.
197
00:09:07,552 --> 00:09:09,955
Oh, my God. Jack, thank you.
198
00:09:09,975 --> 00:09:11,883
You are by far my favorite Trakarsky.
199
00:09:11,889 --> 00:09:14,395
- Always have been!
- Aw, that's not saying much.
200
00:09:14,416 --> 00:09:16,141
Okay. You girls gonna be
all right with Uncle Jack?
201
00:09:16,165 --> 00:09:17,403
You'll just do some drawing?
202
00:09:17,418 --> 00:09:18,511
- Yeah.
- Okay.
203
00:09:18,527 --> 00:09:20,905
Okay, Carmen, we need
some girlfriend time, okay?
204
00:09:20,932 --> 00:09:22,947
Just you and me. And I'm dying
to catch up on "Who We Are,"
205
00:09:22,957 --> 00:09:24,844
but I don't want to spoil
anything. So, have you caught up?
206
00:09:24,866 --> 00:09:27,179
Oh, please. I'm not caught
up on sleep or basic hygiene,
207
00:09:27,198 --> 00:09:31,566
and yet I can't even get
nominated for "Best Lemonade Stand
208
00:09:31,602 --> 00:09:34,501
by an Asian-American Who
Lives in My House" award.
209
00:09:34,512 --> 00:09:37,053
- Aww.
- Well, it's their loss, Carm.
210
00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:39,438
You know I'm exaggerating, right?
211
00:09:39,832 --> 00:09:41,316
Course I do.
212
00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:45,285
- Bye, guys.
- Bye, Princess Monster Face!
213
00:09:45,332 --> 00:09:47,395
- Bye, girls!
- Bye, Mom.
214
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,460
I know what you're doing, by the way,
215
00:09:53,485 --> 00:09:55,831
with your homicidal kid smile.
216
00:09:56,069 --> 00:09:58,328
It's not gonna work. You can't scare me.
217
00:10:01,572 --> 00:10:03,739
Okay, please stop.
218
00:10:05,383 --> 00:10:07,440
Ohh, if this place
were trying any harder,
219
00:10:07,453 --> 00:10:09,098
- it's be a warehouse full of...
- Dicks?
220
00:10:09,114 --> 00:10:10,769
Yeah!
221
00:10:10,842 --> 00:10:13,472
So, Gabe wants to meet to
talk about their mom why?
222
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,463
Well, you saw "The Great Santini."
223
00:10:15,588 --> 00:10:17,547
- Mm...
- You don't know "The Great Santini"?
224
00:10:17,557 --> 00:10:18,661
Oh, my God, it's so good.
225
00:10:18,708 --> 00:10:21,003
So, Robert Duvall plays
this badass military dad.
226
00:10:21,018 --> 00:10:23,297
He's trying to toughen his kid
up for the cold, cruel world.
227
00:10:23,321 --> 00:10:25,802
Okay, I'll put it on my watchlist. So...
228
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:28,205
So, their mom is, you know,
229
00:10:28,241 --> 00:10:29,881
like a distaff Great Santini.
230
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,981
- Mm.
- She may have gone, uh, a little overboard.
231
00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:34,268
Yeah, sounds like it.
232
00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,473
What's so funny?
233
00:10:38,508 --> 00:10:40,975
It's Nathan showing me
his latest assignment.
234
00:10:40,980 --> 00:10:42,414
He's pretending to like street meat.
235
00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:44,080
It's so stupid.
236
00:10:44,205 --> 00:10:45,725
Yeah. Guess humor's subjective.
237
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,598
- Come on. Let's go find him.
- Okay.
238
00:10:52,122 --> 00:10:53,921
Leave us, Jebediah Todd.
239
00:10:55,227 --> 00:10:57,823
Are you absolutely certain
you weren't followed?
240
00:10:57,849 --> 00:10:59,660
Why don't you just
tell us why we're here?
241
00:10:59,695 --> 00:11:02,019
- There isn't much time.
- Did you take cyanide?
242
00:11:02,020 --> 00:11:03,266
No. I'm getting my nose and ears done,
243
00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:05,326
but I needed to talk to you
in person, away from Jack.
244
00:11:05,337 --> 00:11:06,909
And telephones are... ?
245
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,003
- Easily compromised.
- Oh, my God.
246
00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:12,151
We have a potentially violent
situation on our hands.
247
00:11:12,391 --> 00:11:13,707
Mom's coming to town,
248
00:11:13,763 --> 00:11:15,207
and Jack's gonna make nice with her,
249
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,977
or I'm gonna go postal on his ass.
250
00:11:17,013 --> 00:11:18,490
You're kidding me.
251
00:11:18,855 --> 00:11:20,263
Oh, my God, he's not kidding.
252
00:11:20,282 --> 00:11:22,378
Okay, how do I put this delicately? Um,
253
00:11:22,414 --> 00:11:25,911
- this is the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
- True.
254
00:11:25,941 --> 00:11:27,971
Well, they're both too
stubborn to make the first move,
255
00:11:27,990 --> 00:11:29,874
so I'm gonna make it for them.
256
00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:30,973
Why are you doing this now?
257
00:11:30,993 --> 00:11:32,437
Okay, w... we're already stressed enough
258
00:11:32,461 --> 00:11:34,548
with the babies and the house and...
259
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:35,766
That's why I'm doing it.
260
00:11:35,791 --> 00:11:38,232
Jack finally managed to go
deep enough to make babies.
261
00:11:38,233 --> 00:11:39,301
- Gross.
- That is disgusting.
262
00:11:39,325 --> 00:11:40,711
But everything he thinks he knows
263
00:11:40,728 --> 00:11:42,680
about his own upbringing is a lie.
264
00:11:42,956 --> 00:11:45,282
And even well-intentioned
lies have consequences.
265
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:49,686
I want Jack to have his mom at
a time like this, like I did.
266
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:52,559
It matters.
267
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:54,622
But he needs to know
the truth about his dad
268
00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:56,049
to understand Mom
269
00:11:56,084 --> 00:11:58,285
and why she was the
way she was with him.
270
00:11:58,574 --> 00:12:00,431
The truth?
271
00:12:07,613 --> 00:12:10,107
God damn it, Gabe. In the name
of all that's good in the world,
272
00:12:10,139 --> 00:12:11,898
- please pick up!
- Fuck!
273
00:12:11,955 --> 00:12:14,451
I said "pick up," young lady.
274
00:12:14,469 --> 00:12:16,251
Okay? That's not even close.
275
00:12:17,215 --> 00:12:19,615
- What up,
jack-off? - It's me.
276
00:12:19,661 --> 00:12:22,711
Uh, I'm with the, uh,
Amari girls. Dave's kids?
277
00:12:22,744 --> 00:12:24,455
They're friggin', like,
little devil children.
278
00:12:24,479 --> 00:12:25,485
I don't know what to do.
279
00:12:25,497 --> 00:12:28,109
Um, I gave them candy,
and now it's... there...
280
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:29,994
it seems like there's more of
them, like they're multiplying.
281
00:12:30,018 --> 00:12:31,319
- What do I do?
- I don't know.
282
00:12:31,352 --> 00:12:32,517
Why don't you go golfing like a real man
283
00:12:32,541 --> 00:12:34,363
and leave the wives to mind
the children? How about that?
284
00:12:34,368 --> 00:12:35,590
Okay, quick, look around...
285
00:12:35,715 --> 00:12:37,421
is it 1956 where you're at?
286
00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:39,427
You know, I just keep
wondering how you always get
287
00:12:39,448 --> 00:12:41,460
the chick end of the
stick, huh? How is that?
288
00:12:41,465 --> 00:12:44,589
- Are you golfing?
- Dude, real men golf in the rain, bro.
289
00:12:44,602 --> 00:12:46,123
Fore!
290
00:12:46,248 --> 00:12:47,825
- Yeah.
- Here's the thing...
291
00:12:47,831 --> 00:12:50,104
Emma and Izzy were acting
super weird this morning.
292
00:12:50,119 --> 00:12:51,939
They said they were gonna
go out and run some errands,
293
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:54,493
but it seemed very nefarious,
294
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:57,020
I have to say... like
they were up to no good,
295
00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:58,956
like they were planning a
surprise for me or something.
296
00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:01,331
A surprise? What?!
297
00:13:01,816 --> 00:13:03,820
Don't be stupid. That's...
298
00:13:03,882 --> 00:13:05,374
Man, you got to grow
up and stop thinking
299
00:13:05,398 --> 00:13:07,311
everyone's always
plotting some big surprise.
300
00:13:07,332 --> 00:13:09,002
Jeeesus! I mean...
301
00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:11,918
- Okay, now you're acting super weird.
- Oh, fuck off. I am not.
302
00:13:11,944 --> 00:13:13,897
Fuck yeah, you are. Dickhead.
303
00:13:14,022 --> 00:13:17,249
Keep going. You're gonna
reveal yourself in two seconds.
304
00:13:17,466 --> 00:13:20,510
Oh, hole in one! I just got
a hole in one! It's amazing!
305
00:13:20,525 --> 00:13:22,067
You... You got a hole in one?
306
00:13:22,244 --> 00:13:23,529
You just yelled "fore."
307
00:13:23,539 --> 00:13:25,122
Yeah, a big wind just
blew it right back.
308
00:13:25,143 --> 00:13:26,676
Oh, they're bringing the
big check! It's great!
309
00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:28,507
They're bringing it
right now! Gotta go, bro!
310
00:13:33,737 --> 00:13:35,713
Oh, my God, what the f...
311
00:13:35,979 --> 00:13:38,455
No. Girls, no. This can't...
312
00:13:38,538 --> 00:13:40,018
Something has to be done about this.
313
00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:41,875
_
314
00:13:53,347 --> 00:13:57,540
So, setting aside the
Trakarsky family curve ball
315
00:13:57,550 --> 00:14:00,284
that Gabe just threw at us...
316
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:03,605
Let's set it way aside...
like, in the Philippines.
317
00:14:06,359 --> 00:14:09,036
I saw on your computer
318
00:14:09,113 --> 00:14:12,481
that you were researching tri-custody.
319
00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:14,884
Well, that's what you
want, isn't it, babe?
320
00:14:15,009 --> 00:14:17,273
The three of us to be equal parents?
321
00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:23,131
Um...
322
00:14:23,614 --> 00:14:28,375
Back when my mom and dad were
cozy, little drunks together,
323
00:14:29,241 --> 00:14:31,769
they were big into video games.
324
00:14:32,011 --> 00:14:33,538
They would always give me the controller
325
00:14:33,553 --> 00:14:35,469
and tell me that I was
in charge of the bad guys,
326
00:14:35,493 --> 00:14:40,344
and I thought I was
some amazing game player.
327
00:14:40,554 --> 00:14:43,545
Until I found out that there were
no batteries in the controller
328
00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:45,059
and it was a two-player game.
329
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,815
Oh, shit.
330
00:14:52,734 --> 00:14:53,910
Hi!
331
00:14:53,972 --> 00:14:56,580
- Hey.
- Remember the sign everyone loves to make fun of?
332
00:14:56,584 --> 00:14:57,902
"Slow... Children at Play"?
333
00:14:57,922 --> 00:15:00,986
I just think the word
"down" would help so much.
334
00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:03,158
Sue me.
335
00:15:03,328 --> 00:15:06,369
Would an HOA Security Division
speeding ticket suffice?
336
00:15:08,414 --> 00:15:10,982
Uh, so, Em, who is this person?
337
00:15:11,008 --> 00:15:14,577
And why is she playing
cops-and-robbers in our driveway?
338
00:15:14,612 --> 00:15:17,193
I'm Lala, HOA president.
339
00:15:17,203 --> 00:15:18,405
And you are?
340
00:15:18,530 --> 00:15:20,345
Uh, Izzy Silva.
341
00:15:20,562 --> 00:15:21,670
Our wife.
342
00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:23,151
Nice to meet you.
343
00:15:23,276 --> 00:15:25,281
I have an out gay son,
so I'm cool with all that.
344
00:15:25,317 --> 00:15:27,185
- Super woke.
- Cool, okay.
345
00:15:27,191 --> 00:15:30,754
Anyway, Emma, you should
know people are talking.
346
00:15:31,176 --> 00:15:34,013
- What are they saying?
- They're saying that Binge Club presidency
347
00:15:34,031 --> 00:15:35,658
is just a launching pad
348
00:15:35,709 --> 00:15:37,891
and that you have designs on my job.
349
00:15:38,191 --> 00:15:40,110
Not that I'm worried, 'cause I'm not.
350
00:15:40,151 --> 00:15:42,948
Well, uh, maybe you should be.
351
00:15:43,762 --> 00:15:45,892
So it's true.
352
00:15:46,732 --> 00:15:48,733
You are gunning for me.
353
00:15:50,085 --> 00:15:52,988
Emma is much too busy, uh,
354
00:15:53,004 --> 00:15:55,750
building her architectural empire...
355
00:15:55,781 --> 00:15:59,453
... to be playing neighborhood
politics with you, Lala.
356
00:15:59,656 --> 00:16:01,177
Did you make up that name?
357
00:16:01,233 --> 00:16:03,528
- Nope.
- No, it's, uh... it's her real name.
358
00:16:03,548 --> 00:16:07,282
No shit! How stoned were your parents?
359
00:16:07,407 --> 00:16:08,996
They're in recovery.
360
00:16:10,764 --> 00:16:13,891
Okay, you know what? Why don't
we, uh, just call this a truce,
361
00:16:13,922 --> 00:16:15,521
you give us the ticket,
before it gets out of hand?
362
00:16:15,545 --> 00:16:16,971
I'll put it in your mailbox.
363
00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:19,541
Gosh, I hope everything
works out with the house.
364
00:16:19,576 --> 00:16:21,787
No telling when the
next one hits the market.
365
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:23,559
So nice to meet you, Lizzy.
366
00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:24,921
"Lizzy"? Really?
367
00:16:25,106 --> 00:16:26,811
Does it look like I have low self-esteem
368
00:16:26,815 --> 00:16:28,812
- and that I dye my own hair?
- A little.
369
00:16:30,649 --> 00:16:31,996
- Does it?
- Not really.
370
00:16:32,839 --> 00:16:35,372
Like I said, very
established neighborhood,
371
00:16:35,417 --> 00:16:37,034
practically no turnover.
372
00:16:38,727 --> 00:16:40,205
Good luck fitting in.
373
00:16:42,631 --> 00:16:43,733
This is bad.
374
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,866
- Why?
- She's calm. Look at her.
375
00:16:45,878 --> 00:16:47,232
She is too calm.
376
00:16:48,931 --> 00:16:51,700
She's ridiculous, is what she is.
377
00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:53,086
It's gonna be fine.
378
00:16:53,623 --> 00:16:56,205
I'm telling you, Lala is
covering something insidious,
379
00:16:56,238 --> 00:16:57,723
like eternal evil.
380
00:16:57,765 --> 00:16:59,052
Sounds reasonable.
381
00:16:59,076 --> 00:17:00,087
Not to change the subject,
382
00:17:00,108 --> 00:17:02,423
but have you ever heard of
those high-powered executives
383
00:17:02,451 --> 00:17:05,724
that just transfer their
intense but beautiful
384
00:17:05,794 --> 00:17:08,996
careerist energies into,
uh, neighborhood politics?
385
00:17:09,405 --> 00:17:10,782
Welcome back.
386
00:17:10,803 --> 00:17:12,536
- Wow!
- Wow!
387
00:17:12,577 --> 00:17:14,775
- Beautiful!
- Looking good, Princess.
388
00:17:14,785 --> 00:17:16,363
Thank you. These girls
are a total nightmare.
389
00:17:16,379 --> 00:17:17,739
I don't even care if they hear me.
390
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:20,510
So, where were you guys?
391
00:17:20,566 --> 00:17:22,397
And just give me an
answer quick. Don't think.
392
00:17:22,422 --> 00:17:24,515
- Yeah, we were... we were getting our...
- Hair.
393
00:17:24,569 --> 00:17:27,627
- We were getting our hoo-has done.
- I knew it. I knew it.
394
00:17:27,752 --> 00:17:29,943
- Tripped you up.
- Why do you have two wives?
395
00:17:30,476 --> 00:17:31,900
I got this one.
396
00:17:32,106 --> 00:17:34,375
Well, girls...
397
00:17:36,238 --> 00:17:37,884
Do you want to hear a story?
398
00:17:38,795 --> 00:17:40,600
Once upon a time,
399
00:17:40,621 --> 00:17:42,756
Prince Jack was put under a spell,
400
00:17:42,782 --> 00:17:44,804
and he was given too much love
401
00:17:44,826 --> 00:17:46,759
for any one princess to handle.
402
00:17:46,794 --> 00:17:50,664
But luckily, Princess
Izzy and Princess Emma
403
00:17:50,685 --> 00:17:52,042
loved each other very much.
404
00:17:52,052 --> 00:17:55,345
Two princesses can't
love each other, silly.
405
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,118
Well, you know... I'll get this one.
406
00:17:57,128 --> 00:17:58,882
Yes, actually, they can.
407
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:01,971
Two princess can love each
other. Here. Come here.
408
00:18:02,023 --> 00:18:03,441
And do you know what?
409
00:18:04,006 --> 00:18:06,478
These two princesses...
well, let's put it this way.
410
00:18:06,514 --> 00:18:10,726
There once was a frog, and
his name was Jack, right?
411
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:12,676
And not just one princess,
412
00:18:12,702 --> 00:18:15,342
but two princesses came
by and gave him a kiss.
413
00:18:15,347 --> 00:18:16,735
And you know what happened to him?
414
00:18:16,776 --> 00:18:18,323
He turned into a prince,
415
00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:21,212
and they lived in this kingdom
of love forever and ever.
416
00:18:21,666 --> 00:18:23,929
And the prince, if
everything goes right,
417
00:18:23,964 --> 00:18:26,133
will someday turn into a king.
418
00:18:39,898 --> 00:18:41,910
_
419
00:18:41,936 --> 00:18:44,246
- _
- Ugh, I got to go, guys.
420
00:18:44,422 --> 00:18:47,440
- Where are you going?
- Uh, it's a Nina emergency.
421
00:18:47,708 --> 00:18:48,987
Unroll your eyes.
422
00:18:49,023 --> 00:18:51,081
Real this time.
423
00:18:51,257 --> 00:18:53,763
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. It's...
424
00:18:54,057 --> 00:18:56,136
This is gonna be you guys someday.
425
00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,446
You mean this is gonna be us someday.
426
00:18:58,865 --> 00:19:00,143
Yeah.
427
00:19:01,668 --> 00:19:03,408
Bye, girls!
428
00:19:03,686 --> 00:19:05,920
- Say bye-bye.
- Bye, Princess Izzy!
429
00:19:05,962 --> 00:19:07,354
Bye, prince.
430
00:19:14,956 --> 00:19:16,291
Hey, Carm. How's it going?
431
00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:19,082
Don't tell Jack, but I'm
gonna sneak home right now
432
00:19:19,085 --> 00:19:22,708
and catch the rest of
that stupid, sappy show,
433
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,993
just so you and I can talk
about it. I want us to be
434
00:19:25,070 --> 00:19:27,571
"Who We Are" sisters
from different misters,
435
00:19:27,592 --> 00:19:30,491
always there for each other,
just like Sandra and Tracy.
436
00:19:30,506 --> 00:19:32,311
And they didn't even know
they were sisters? Really?
437
00:19:32,332 --> 00:19:34,999
Hey, Carm, don't even sweat it.
We're taking the girls to the park.
438
00:19:35,069 --> 00:19:36,415
- Really?
- Yeah.
439
00:19:36,472 --> 00:19:37,993
Like Sailor always says,
440
00:19:38,003 --> 00:19:40,510
"I love you, and you love me,
441
00:19:40,526 --> 00:19:42,578
and that's just who we are."
442
00:19:43,677 --> 00:19:46,808
That's so stupid, and I'm
definitely not crying. Bye.
443
00:19:49,526 --> 00:19:52,187
You'll never break us
because we know who we are.
444
00:19:52,971 --> 00:19:54,766
What about you? Huh?
445
00:19:54,891 --> 00:19:56,442
Do you know who you are?
446
00:19:56,452 --> 00:19:58,072
I'm a woman who's sobbing
447
00:19:58,090 --> 00:20:02,569
over the tribulations of a
man who's far too handsome
448
00:20:02,584 --> 00:20:05,829
to be a plumbing
contractor in real life.
449
00:20:06,174 --> 00:20:08,331
But mostly I'm just drinking alone,
450
00:20:08,702 --> 00:20:11,389
talking to the TV, and just imagining
451
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:14,106
the love of my life's
humiliating comeuppance
452
00:20:14,122 --> 00:20:16,686
because I'm a jealous shithead
453
00:20:16,732 --> 00:20:19,585
who just wanted him to
be my plus-one for once.
454
00:20:19,595 --> 00:20:21,209
That's who I am!
455
00:20:21,523 --> 00:20:22,741
Listen up, you.
456
00:20:22,808 --> 00:20:24,113
Say what now?
457
00:20:24,149 --> 00:20:26,098
Grandpa did not escape Nazi Germany
458
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,950
to watch you lie down and crumble.
459
00:20:28,075 --> 00:20:31,066
Ah, God damn it. My grandfather
was an immigrant, too,
460
00:20:31,087 --> 00:20:32,660
and he got locked up in a camp!
461
00:20:32,686 --> 00:20:33,897
Why does Dave get to...
462
00:20:33,913 --> 00:20:35,991
We're fighters in this
family, right to the end.
463
00:20:38,580 --> 00:20:40,803
That's good. That's good. Mm-hmm.
464
00:20:40,928 --> 00:20:42,553
Mm, mm.
465
00:20:43,007 --> 00:20:44,322
Mm.
466
00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:46,601
And furthermore...
467
00:20:46,658 --> 00:20:48,767
Ah, shh, shh!
468
00:20:49,618 --> 00:20:51,702
Can feel a sequel brewing.
469
00:20:54,543 --> 00:20:56,658
Mmph!
470
00:20:59,914 --> 00:21:02,436
Take that, you...
471
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:03,885
laughing girl!
472
00:21:04,010 --> 00:21:07,989
Your insult game is in a free fall.
473
00:21:08,430 --> 00:21:12,382
Update... Now Shaun's very presence
474
00:21:12,507 --> 00:21:16,277
turns women into giggling love zombies!
475
00:21:16,290 --> 00:21:17,998
- Unh! Fuck!
- Nina!
476
00:21:18,024 --> 00:21:20,726
- Ow! Oww!
- Okay. Okay.
477
00:21:20,739 --> 00:21:23,481
- How do men do that?
- The better question is,
478
00:21:23,506 --> 00:21:24,878
why do men do that?
479
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,939
Okay, just...
480
00:21:26,964 --> 00:21:29,655
Okay. Okay. Let's, um...
481
00:21:30,343 --> 00:21:32,393
... turn that off.
482
00:21:32,682 --> 00:21:34,172
Okay.
483
00:21:34,436 --> 00:21:36,441
Shaun is catching his wave.
484
00:21:36,686 --> 00:21:38,111
So what?
485
00:21:38,169 --> 00:21:40,632
- That's a good thing.
- Mm, is it?
486
00:21:40,671 --> 00:21:42,980
You know, he'll always
be obsessed with you.
487
00:21:43,038 --> 00:21:46,069
And while things are evening out a bit,
488
00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:49,131
- your upper hand is safe.
- Mm.
489
00:21:49,324 --> 00:21:52,247
So, maybe spend a little
bit more time knowing it
490
00:21:52,266 --> 00:21:54,909
and a little less time...
491
00:21:56,547 --> 00:21:58,206
... showing it?
492
00:21:58,242 --> 00:22:01,743
- I guess?
- Mm. Mm!
493
00:22:02,099 --> 00:22:03,598
Better?
494
00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:06,325
Mm. Will you massage my hand?
495
00:22:07,447 --> 00:22:09,914
Weird. Only if you focus.
496
00:22:11,461 --> 00:22:13,514
Okay, so, one second,
497
00:22:13,530 --> 00:22:15,700
I was watching Jack and
Emma with the Amari girls.
498
00:22:15,727 --> 00:22:17,965
And the next, it was
like... it was like a...
499
00:22:17,991 --> 00:22:21,201
a home video, with
their kids, the twins.
500
00:22:21,221 --> 00:22:24,017
And it was perfect.
501
00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:26,977
They want you in the picture.
502
00:22:26,992 --> 00:22:29,039
I know. I know.
503
00:22:33,843 --> 00:22:36,250
I told Emma my game-controller story.
504
00:22:36,477 --> 00:22:37,911
Why?
505
00:22:37,927 --> 00:22:39,825
Because I've been
thinking about it a lot.
506
00:22:39,871 --> 00:22:42,809
You know, it seems like a metaphor
for my vague "mamacita" role.
507
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:45,063
Oh, Iz, that is so dark.
508
00:22:45,079 --> 00:22:47,096
Well, they have a biological dad,
509
00:22:47,122 --> 00:22:48,833
and they have a biological mom.
510
00:22:49,124 --> 00:22:50,794
So, what am I, really?
511
00:22:50,876 --> 00:22:52,619
Like, the cool aunt?
512
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,561
Or the nanny that's,
like, become like family?
513
00:22:56,602 --> 00:22:58,325
- I mean, I don't know.
- Yeah.
514
00:22:58,330 --> 00:23:02,306
- The controller with no batteries?
- See?
515
00:23:09,759 --> 00:23:13,609
What if this last year has been, like,
516
00:23:14,389 --> 00:23:18,784
the coolest, weirdest vacation ever...
517
00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:22,286
and I'm the souvenir
518
00:23:22,312 --> 00:23:24,620
that they don't remember
buying when they were drunk?
519
00:23:26,735 --> 00:23:29,178
- Do you think she's happy?
- Which one?
520
00:23:29,199 --> 00:23:31,602
You think it's a "tears of
a clown" situation happening?
521
00:23:31,617 --> 00:23:34,255
I'm talking about Izzy.
522
00:23:35,311 --> 00:23:38,293
She bought us a pumpkin-spice candle.
523
00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:40,196
She gets it.
524
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,941
Hawthorne Heights is our
home, not just a home base.
525
00:23:42,977 --> 00:23:45,147
So, she gets it, and she
wants to make it work.
526
00:23:45,166 --> 00:23:46,359
Does that mean she's happy?
527
00:23:46,372 --> 00:23:48,624
I mean, will she be
happy in two, three years?
528
00:23:48,841 --> 00:23:50,749
I don't know, but what can we do?
529
00:23:51,065 --> 00:23:52,584
We can get help.
530
00:23:53,058 --> 00:23:54,919
You talking about that poly coach
531
00:23:55,044 --> 00:23:56,554
and the training camp thing?
532
00:23:56,590 --> 00:23:58,155
Come on, Em.
533
00:23:58,191 --> 00:24:00,620
I mean, you got to admit,
it sounds a little...
534
00:24:03,999 --> 00:24:05,463
... awesome?
535
00:24:06,326 --> 00:24:07,505
I was gonna say something different,
536
00:24:07,506 --> 00:24:09,358
but your face was telling
me to say "awesome."
537
00:24:09,382 --> 00:24:11,663
I know. I thought you were
going somewhere else with that.
538
00:24:13,134 --> 00:24:15,006
I'm going wherever you're going.
539
00:24:20,133 --> 00:24:22,119
When is this thing?
540
00:24:22,140 --> 00:24:23,496
- Tonight.
- What?!
541
00:24:23,511 --> 00:24:24,873
Tonight?
542
00:24:24,925 --> 00:24:26,658
Yeah! You're going where I'm going.
543
00:24:26,685 --> 00:24:27,921
Count me in, I guess.
544
00:24:37,572 --> 00:24:39,692
Mm, sure we have the address right?
545
00:24:39,749 --> 00:24:41,309
Interesting Marriott.
546
00:24:41,317 --> 00:24:43,066
Kind of a B&B vibe?
547
00:24:43,101 --> 00:24:45,546
Yeah, well, they changed
the venue at the last minute.
548
00:24:46,031 --> 00:24:47,795
- Excuse me.
- Yeah?
549
00:24:49,245 --> 00:24:51,214
Uh, we're, um...
550
00:24:51,259 --> 00:24:53,962
- we're lost, and we're looking...
- You're looking for the open "gym"
551
00:24:53,986 --> 00:24:56,600
- or whatever he's calling it?
- Yeah.
552
00:24:57,303 --> 00:25:00,449
You just gonna watch me carry
in all your refreshments?
553
00:25:00,574 --> 00:25:02,129
Or do you want to help a mother out?
554
00:25:02,153 --> 00:25:03,705
- Jack will help you.
- Oh.
555
00:25:04,329 --> 00:25:05,692
- Thank you.
- Sure.
556
00:25:05,723 --> 00:25:07,301
Couple more in here.
557
00:25:09,294 --> 00:25:11,953
Ohh! Oh, okay.
558
00:25:13,113 --> 00:25:15,604
There's no version of what's
waiting for us inside that house
559
00:25:15,625 --> 00:25:17,346
- that isn't incredibly weird.
- Mnh-mnh.
560
00:25:17,382 --> 00:25:19,357
Yeah, but we can't
afford to waste 600 bucks.
561
00:25:19,378 --> 00:25:20,703
- Mm.
- Each.
562
00:25:20,755 --> 00:25:23,468
Wait, what? H... how much did she say?
563
00:25:26,825 --> 00:25:29,218
- Hey, Jack, watch the stairs.
- _
564
00:25:30,368 --> 00:25:32,302
You can set those down on
the counter for me there.
565
00:26:12,703 --> 00:26:17,703
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
42708
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