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1
00:00:01,226 --> 00:00:03,961
- My husband died for nothing,
2
00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:06,380
and I'm beginning to think
I didn't even know him.
3
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:07,508
- What do you want
to build, Jules?
4
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,509
Who do you want to be?
5
00:00:08,510 --> 00:00:10,092
- I can't wait
for you to screw up
6
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:12,094
so you can call me.
7
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,096
- Why does he have this?
- It was your dad's.
8
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:16,182
- I don't believe exercise
can be fun.
9
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,726
- Okay, in my dance class,
we pose through the pain.
10
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,771
- I want to believe
this was an accident,
11
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:23,940
but I just don't know.
12
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:28,444
- I have spent four months
blaming the universe,
13
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:33,783
and maybe the one I really
should be angry with is Matt.
14
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:35,451
- I don't know
what you want me to say.
15
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,161
- I want you to tell me
if you think he jumped.
16
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,413
- Maybe!
17
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,583
Maybe.
18
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:04,063
- How'd you get it again?
19
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,946
Special ops mission
in Paraguay.
20
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:14,240
Top secret, I shouldn't even
be talking to you about it.
21
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:18,536
- I thought it was a battle
with a velociraptor
22
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:22,456
after your DeLorean broke down.
- Nope.
23
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,625
- How'd you get it again?
24
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:27,920
- We were dropping in
by parachute
25
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:31,841
to maintain
the element of surprise.
26
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,634
But unfortunately,
the only thing
27
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,262
I caught by surprise
was a jaguar.
28
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:40,558
- You ever gonna tell me
what really happened?
29
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:44,354
- Just some stupid accident
from when I was a kid.
30
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,858
- How'd you get it again?
31
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:55,908
- You know, you never really
talk about your childhood.
32
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:32,361
- Why are you awake?
- The tragedy of my life.
33
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,905
- Same.
34
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:43,162
Step Four.
35
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:47,917
I'm supposed to make
a moral inventory,
36
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,253
which is basically a catalog
37
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,963
of all the not-good things
I've done.
38
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:57,885
- Every lie, every mistake,
every insecurity.
39
00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:01,055
And I'm supposed to be
rigorously honest
40
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:04,559
so that I understand myself
41
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,186
and the choices I've made.
42
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,604
It's not fun.
43
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,773
- No, that sounds
like literal hell.
44
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,233
- It is,
45
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:15,987
which is why I'm watching
"Real Housewives" instead.
46
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,451
- Is she throwing
a welcome-home party
47
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,620
for her new boobs?
48
00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:25,663
- Yep, that's what
this show is.
49
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:31,544
It's like, these housewives
pull these crazy stunts
50
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,462
to distract themselves
from the fact
51
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:36,674
that they're barely functioning
alcoholics.
52
00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:41,053
I really missed my calling.
53
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,181
What would your tagline be?
54
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,099
- I'm Jules.
55
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:49,228
I may stab you in the front,
but I'll always have your back.
56
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,897
- That's good.
57
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,235
Oh, what would mine be?
58
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,156
I'm Leigh.
59
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:03,034
If you want my advice,
you won't have to ask.
60
00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:04,535
Exactly.
61
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,372
- You're killing it.
62
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,882
- So why are you really up?
63
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:23,222
- I'm not sure if Matt's death
was an accident.
64
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:42,032
- Hey.
- Hey.
65
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,787
I got this for you.
66
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,331
It's my peace offering.
67
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:53,459
It was really nice...
68
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,545
of you to come to my birthday,
69
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,964
and I shouldn't have
come at you like that.
70
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:01,467
- Ooh, oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, my God.
71
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,512
- Sorry, that's gluten-free.
It was all they had.
72
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,515
- You suck at apologizing.
73
00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:14,605
- Can I ask you something
about Matt?
74
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,274
- If it's the same question
you asked me
75
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:17,608
at your birthday,
absolutely not.
76
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,110
I'm not doing that... again.
- Yeah, no.
77
00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:21,362
No one wants to...
do that again.
78
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:23,823
I just want to...
79
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,742
know what he was like as a kid.
80
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,537
- Why?
81
00:05:28,538 --> 00:05:30,329
- Because I met him
after college,
82
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,290
and I know a lot
about the after,
83
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:36,127
not much about the before
because he...
84
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:38,254
never wanted to talk
about his childhood.
85
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,964
- You know, people who want
to talk about their childhoods
86
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,674
are weird, so...
87
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,051
- I just want to know
things about him
88
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,762
that I didn't get to know.
89
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:52,393
Like, he had
this scar on his back,
90
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:55,146
and he said he got it
when he was a kid,
91
00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:57,691
so I was wondering...
- What are you...
92
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,652
What are you wondering?
93
00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:07,617
- Matt said that his depression
was biopsychosocial,
94
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:10,661
psycho being his personality...
95
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:14,082
- Maybe psycho is just
your personality, Leigh.
96
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,461
- Psycho like psychology.
- Oh.
97
00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,838
- Bio like biology, and...
98
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,883
the social
was how he was raised,
99
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,010
so I'm just
trying to understand
100
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,471
the family dynamic
so that I can...
101
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,389
- What do you want me
to tell you?
102
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:34,602
That my dad was too tired to go
to my third grade recital?
103
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,938
Yeah, you got me.
104
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:40,316
Our childhood was a nightmare.
105
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:41,776
House on a cul-de-sac.
106
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,402
Uh...
- Mm.
107
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,781
- Parents been married
for 30 years.
108
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:48,991
- Okay, whatever.
I'll just ask your mom.
109
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:50,576
- Don't... don't ask my mom
about that.
110
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,870
Don't ask her what
you asked me at the party.
111
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,872
Actually,
don't ask her anything.
112
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,833
Like, at all.
- She's still my mother-in-law.
113
00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:58,043
- Is she?
- Mm-hmm.
114
00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,169
- You're saying that
like you two
115
00:06:59,170 --> 00:07:00,920
have an actual relationship.
116
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,881
You haven't even seen her
since the funeral.
117
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:07,510
I don't know what's going on,
but...
118
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:11,305
whatever meltdown
you're having this week,
119
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,392
leave my mother out of it.
120
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,816
- Leigh.
121
00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:23,401
- Hey, Bobby.
122
00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:26,654
- Hi.
- Hi.
123
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:30,158
Come, come in.
124
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,578
- Hey.
125
00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:35,997
- The cheesy mash
should be done in a minute.
126
00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:38,624
I made it
with instant potatoes.
127
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,960
No lumps, just like
your father made it.
128
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,336
- Mom, he made those, like,
one time.
129
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,088
- Oh, your brother called.
He'll be a few minutes late.
130
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,923
But we have the movie
in the player already
131
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,925
for when he gets here.
- Mom, can we just start?
132
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,802
I mean, he's seen it,
like, 5,000 times.
133
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,054
He won't care.
134
00:07:51,055 --> 00:07:52,763
- I have to...
Be right back.
135
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,352
- Hey.
136
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,938
What's going on with you?
137
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:04,150
She just wants
to celebrate your dad.
138
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,402
- Yeah, and he's bringing
as much joy and happiness now
139
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,363
as he did when he
was still alive.
140
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,742
I hate this day.
141
00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,036
Don't want to have
an anniversary party
142
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:15,037
for my dead dad.
143
00:08:15,038 --> 00:08:17,413
I just want to...
shove my feelings down
144
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,457
and ignore them
like white people.
145
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,543
- Oh, well, tell me more
about white people.
146
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,714
Uh, white people like spreading
smallpox through blankets
147
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,341
and taking improv classes.
148
00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:36,933
I know that this
is hard for you.
149
00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:40,687
But I think
it means a lot to your mom.
150
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:53,825
- Hey, Mom?
You need some help?
151
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,288
- Just a minute ago.
152
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:02,291
I know, right?
153
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:05,753
Okay. Okay, sweetie.
See you then.
154
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,589
So that was Danny.
He said he's gonna swing by.
155
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,216
- Great.
156
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:13,094
- So I have Earl Grey
157
00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:15,388
or mint tea
158
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:16,848
or chamomile if you want.
159
00:09:16,849 --> 00:09:18,182
I can, uh...
160
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:22,228
- Um, I... I'll just have
whatever you're having.
161
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,022
- Okay.
162
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:35,533
- I'm sorry
I didn't come sooner.
163
00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:38,787
- No, it's okay.
It's a long drive.
164
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,375
So how are you?
- How are you?
165
00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:51,048
I really am sorry.
I-I...
166
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,718
could have at least called.
167
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:56,929
- Leigh, it's... it's okay.
168
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,973
This is hard.
169
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:01,225
And just as long
as it doesn't take another
170
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,144
four long months
for your next visit.
171
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:06,815
- No, it won't.
I promise.
172
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,861
It's really nice being here.
173
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:26,167
Do you have any more...
174
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:28,085
pictures of Matt
when he was a kid?
175
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,755
'Cause he never really
kept many at the apartment.
176
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:32,423
- Oh, honey.
177
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,758
How much time do you have?
178
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,302
Come, come, come.
179
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,811
- Hi.
180
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,980
- Hi.
- Hey.
181
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,107
- Oh, was it your jacket
that we found at the party?
182
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,944
I can text Leigh and see
if she's still at the house.
183
00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:55,863
- What?
No, uh...
184
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:59,325
I'm here for the dance party.
185
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,494
Uh, awesome.
186
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:04,372
Yeah, just go get a spot.
We're about to get started.
187
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:05,999
- Okay.
188
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:25,561
That's sweet.
189
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,942
Oh, my God, Danny.
190
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:36,404
Just could never smile right.
- Yeah.
191
00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:38,114
- They all look like that
till he got to high school.
192
00:11:39,117 --> 00:11:41,784
- And by then, he was too cool
to smile at all.
193
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:44,288
Ah, that makes sense.
194
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,790
- Oh, there's Matt
in chess club.
195
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:50,334
- Yeah, he loved to play.
196
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,379
James started teaching him
around, like, five or six.
197
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,923
Now, you'd think a kid that
little would be too squirrely.
198
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,634
But not Matt.
199
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:03,765
The two of them used to sit
at that chessboard for hours.
200
00:12:06,185 --> 00:12:09,061
With the town house,
I've been trying to downsize,
201
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,607
and I thought
you might like to have it.
202
00:12:12,608 --> 00:12:14,901
- Mom, I barely have time
to grade papers,
203
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:16,069
let alone play chess.
204
00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:17,445
You should give this to Danny.
205
00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:19,155
- Hell no.
You the chess champ.
206
00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,824
- "You are."
Danny, grammar, please.
207
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:23,868
Look, Grandpa gave it to Daddy,
208
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:25,411
and Daddy wanted
to give it to you
209
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,205
so that someday,
you could play with your own
210
00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:29,040
son or daughter.
211
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:31,167
- It's just gonna collect dust.
- Oh, that's okay.
212
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:32,211
You'll have it
when you need it.
213
00:12:32,212 --> 00:12:33,961
- No, Mom.
We don't have the space.
214
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,671
- I'm sure you can
find some space...
215
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,591
- Mom, I don't want it.
216
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,470
- Okay, you know what?
217
00:12:41,471 --> 00:12:43,721
I think, that, um,
everyone's tired.
218
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:46,682
And it's just getting
a bit late, so...
219
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:49,978
I think I'll just go get
some leftovers for everybody.
220
00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:02,990
- Let's just take it.
221
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,368
We can find a place for it.
222
00:13:05,369 --> 00:13:07,371
- I hate chess.
223
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:13,251
- I'm sorry I never
got to meet James.
224
00:13:13,252 --> 00:13:16,712
- That man read everything
under the sun.
225
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:19,048
You two could have
talked books for hours.
226
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,008
- Yeah?
227
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,094
- Yeah, you would have loved
each other.
228
00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:25,930
And he was easy on the eyes.
- Oh, yeah?
229
00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:28,141
- Where do you think Matt
got his good looks from?
230
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,519
Let me show you.
231
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:37,024
He was so busy
with all his... papers
232
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,901
and conferences.
233
00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:41,112
Let me see.
234
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:44,782
Yeah, he was such a...
good provider.
235
00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:47,368
Oh, there he is.
- Hmm.
236
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:49,453
- Look at that fine man.
237
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:51,581
- Yeah.
238
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:57,879
- Um, what happened to...
239
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:01,048
to Matt's back?
240
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,217
- What was that?
I-I...
241
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:04,635
I think that Matt and Danny,
242
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:07,138
they were just messing around,
I think.
243
00:14:07,139 --> 00:14:10,475
- Well, that's some serious
messing around.
244
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:14,187
- There's my baby.
245
00:14:14,188 --> 00:14:17,231
Oh, I am so glad
you could swing by.
246
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:22,069
- I didn't know we were, uh,
having a, uh, family reunion.
247
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,197
- Oh, so nice.
248
00:14:24,198 --> 00:14:26,616
And we were just talking
about your brother, right?
249
00:14:26,617 --> 00:14:28,534
Can I get you something?
250
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,286
- Um, some water.
- Oh, of course.
251
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:31,913
You want anything?
- No, I'm fine.
252
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:32,956
Thank you.
- Okay.
253
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,501
- I told you to leave my mom
out of this.
254
00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:39,128
- I can spend time with her.
She's my family too.
255
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,340
- Are you serious
right now with this?
256
00:14:43,509 --> 00:14:44,718
- Here we go.
257
00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:49,055
Good.
258
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,057
- Thanks, Mom.
You good?
259
00:14:50,058 --> 00:14:51,807
- Oh, yeah, fine.
260
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,351
My family's here.
261
00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:55,645
So let's sit.
Let's catch up.
262
00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,986
- And turn to the left.
263
00:15:05,281 --> 00:15:08,866
Right, left.
264
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,451
And eight counts of ponies.
265
00:15:17,585 --> 00:15:20,795
- Okay, uh, it's okay
if you're not perfect.
266
00:15:20,796 --> 00:15:22,547
It's okay if you mess up.
267
00:15:22,548 --> 00:15:24,882
You are not...
268
00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:26,634
your mistakes.
269
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,812
- Uh, we're gonna go back
to the...
270
00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:39,146
- Ponies?
- Ponies, exactly.
271
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:55,831
- Hey.
272
00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:59,501
Are you okay?
273
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,212
- Not really.
274
00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:08,426
Richard told me
about your recovery.
275
00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:10,803
I hope that's okay.
276
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:14,724
- Richard is
my mom's ex-husband,
277
00:16:14,725 --> 00:16:18,979
my sister's dad,
and my nothing.
278
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,231
- You... we don't know each other
very well,
279
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:25,943
but what I know about you,
I really like.
280
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:29,406
And every sober day
is a miracle.
281
00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:33,409
- Are you a friend of Bill's?
282
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,620
- Friend-adjacent.
283
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:42,251
- I, um, texted my sponsor,
but she can't talk until 5:00.
284
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,379
- Well, let me
take you home, then.
285
00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:51,219
- I can't go home right now.
286
00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:52,471
- My home.
287
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:01,020
- How old was he
when he made this?
288
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:04,357
- Oh, 11, 12, I guess.
289
00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:06,400
He was always drawing.
290
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:08,528
I had to bribe him
with Pentel brush pens
291
00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:10,321
to make him do his homework.
292
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:14,200
- It's good.
- Mm.
293
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,910
- It's intense.
294
00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:19,414
Well, that was Matt.
295
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:28,422
- Was Matt ever depressed
as a kid?
296
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:31,634
- Your generation is always
trying to put labels on things.
297
00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:34,720
Depression, ADHD,
gluten allergies.
298
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,430
Nothing but excuses.
299
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,808
- Yeah, I only ask because, um,
300
00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:42,228
you know Matt was on
antidepressants since college.
301
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,313
- Leigh, you don't need
to bother
302
00:17:43,314 --> 00:17:44,939
my mother with that stuff.
303
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:46,399
- I just want to know
what Matt was like
304
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,651
before I knew him and... and...
305
00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:51,028
like, if something
happened to him
306
00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:53,824
when he was growing up that...
- What are you talking about?
307
00:17:55,701 --> 00:17:58,452
- Matt never talked
about his childhood
308
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:01,372
or his dad or his scar.
309
00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:03,082
- That's what you've been
getting at this whole time?
310
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,126
Are you kidding me?
311
00:18:04,127 --> 00:18:05,626
That's your... that's your
one explanation
312
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:08,379
for why a black man has a scar
he never wants to talk about?
313
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,381
You gonna ask me
if my dad was an addict too?
314
00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:11,799
- No, no, no, that's not...
315
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,302
that is not
what I meant at all.
316
00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:16,304
I'm...
317
00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:18,639
No, I...
Oh, God.
318
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,976
I am... just working
319
00:18:21,977 --> 00:18:24,478
with the information
that I have
320
00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:26,314
to try and understand,
321
00:18:26,315 --> 00:18:28,941
and... and if I'm wrong,
I apologize.
322
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,194
- Yeah, well... well, you are.
323
00:18:30,195 --> 00:18:32,361
My husband was a...
a good father
324
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,821
and never laid a hand
on my boys.
325
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,573
And Matt's scar,
it was his fault.
326
00:18:35,574 --> 00:18:37,158
He was roughhousing
with... with Danny,
327
00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,368
and he hurt himself.
328
00:18:38,369 --> 00:18:40,161
- So... so why wouldn't he
just tell me that?
329
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,746
- I-I guess because
he felt bad.
330
00:18:41,747 --> 00:18:43,873
We... we had to, uh, take him
to get stitches,
331
00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:46,167
and we had to leave, uh,
Danny's game.
332
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,044
I think it was the Little
League playoffs or something.
333
00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:49,254
- It was tryouts.
334
00:18:49,255 --> 00:18:50,671
- Yeah, well,
something like that.
335
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,757
I can never
get the details right.
336
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:54,717
- It was tryouts,
and it wasn't Matt's fault.
337
00:18:54,718 --> 00:18:56,385
It was Dad's because
he wouldn't get out of bed.
338
00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,012
- Oh, Danny,
please don't be so dramatic.
339
00:18:58,013 --> 00:18:59,889
- We were late,
and I was gonna have to wait
340
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,682
a whole nother year
if we didn't get there.
341
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,935
Matt begged him, even tried
to drag him out of bed.
342
00:19:03,936 --> 00:19:05,853
Dad didn't move.
Matt got pissed,
343
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,396
started whaling on him
until Dad pushed him
344
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,190
into the closet door
and broke the mirror.
345
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:10,192
- Your brother
never should have come
346
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,235
at your father like that!
347
00:19:11,236 --> 00:19:13,110
- He never got out of bed!
He was always in bed.
348
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:14,363
He would go to work,
349
00:19:14,364 --> 00:19:15,905
give everything
to a bunch of strangers,
350
00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:18,157
and there was never
anything left for us.
351
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,451
- So you're saying that
your father was a bad parent
352
00:19:19,452 --> 00:19:20,868
because he went to work
every day?
353
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:24,121
- No, I'm saying
that he was depressed!
354
00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,873
He was depressed,
and so was Matt.
355
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:28,000
And maybe if you would have
just actually acknowledged
356
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,587
and have dealt with that fact,
Matt might still be here!
357
00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:34,800
- That's what you think?
358
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:37,261
Okay.
359
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,229
- At least you got
your answers, right?
360
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:57,322
- My mom was in and out
of AA my whole life.
361
00:19:59,116 --> 00:20:02,995
It just... never seemed
to stick for her.
362
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:07,332
Al-Anon did for me.
363
00:20:09,293 --> 00:20:12,588
So I'm here to listen
if you want to talk.
364
00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:19,428
Yeah, thanks.
365
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:30,063
The night before Matt died,
he called me.
366
00:20:31,607 --> 00:20:36,485
I was drunk and had driven
over tire spikes the wrong way,
367
00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:39,197
so Leigh was coming
to get me, and...
368
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:41,699
I didn't want a lecture.
369
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:43,619
So I didn't answer.
370
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:48,497
What if he needed me?
371
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:52,376
What if he
was calling because...
372
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:55,755
I don't know, because he wanted
to tell me something?
373
00:20:55,756 --> 00:20:58,966
- Or maybe he was just calling
to give you a lecture.
374
00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:01,010
Or maybe he was calling
to let you know
375
00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:03,055
that Leigh was close by.
376
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:07,642
- I still
should have picked up.
377
00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:12,313
I'm never getting
that chance back, and...
378
00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:17,401
this stupid inventory thing,
I mean, I...
379
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,320
When I tell Leigh,
she's gonna freak out.
380
00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:22,698
- Why would you tell Leigh?
381
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:24,617
Jules, I know you feel bad
about this,
382
00:21:24,618 --> 00:21:26,118
but you're gonna have
to feel bad
383
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,287
without bringing her into it.
384
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:30,831
She's got enough going on
without...
385
00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:32,793
having to make you feel better.
386
00:21:34,419 --> 00:21:38,381
Sometimes
the more generous act is...
387
00:21:38,382 --> 00:21:40,551
to just keep things
to yourself.
388
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:54,857
- Hi.
- Come in.
389
00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:06,742
Do you really think...
that Matt...
390
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,995
- No.
391
00:22:08,996 --> 00:22:11,497
No.
392
00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:13,249
And Danny doesn't
really think that.
393
00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:15,294
He was just lashing out.
394
00:22:17,838 --> 00:22:22,425
I just came because...
395
00:22:22,426 --> 00:22:24,928
I wanted to feel close to him.
396
00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:31,517
- You know why
I thought you came?
397
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,269
- No.
398
00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:36,856
- Well, I haven't seen you
since... Matt died,
399
00:22:36,857 --> 00:22:40,067
and it's only
about four months ago,
400
00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:43,863
and... and... you wanted
to see his baby pictures,
401
00:22:43,864 --> 00:22:47,325
and I thought...
402
00:22:47,326 --> 00:22:50,245
I really thought you were gonna
tell me you were pregnant.
403
00:22:54,082 --> 00:22:57,043
Uh, no, I'm...
404
00:22:57,044 --> 00:23:00,547
I'm not, sorry.
- I know.
405
00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:07,762
I just desperately wanted a...
a piece of him in this world.
406
00:23:10,641 --> 00:23:13,267
When you have a child,
407
00:23:13,268 --> 00:23:15,978
you never think...
408
00:23:15,979 --> 00:23:18,064
you never think...
409
00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:27,114
I-I did the best I could.
410
00:23:27,115 --> 00:23:30,452
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
411
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:39,752
- Matt was my...
favorite person.
412
00:23:42,339 --> 00:23:44,882
- You made him.
413
00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:47,010
You raised him.
414
00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:52,224
And he was amazing.
415
00:23:53,976 --> 00:23:55,726
- He was.
416
00:23:55,727 --> 00:23:58,855
- Yeah.
417
00:24:04,236 --> 00:24:07,029
Why didn't you just
take the whole set?
418
00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:08,407
- I just wanted the one piece.
419
00:24:25,174 --> 00:24:29,135
- Hi, I'm...
420
00:24:29,136 --> 00:24:31,387
I'm sorry.
421
00:24:31,388 --> 00:24:36,142
And I'm sorry that I have
to keep saying I'm sorry.
422
00:24:36,143 --> 00:24:37,603
- Don't be.
423
00:25:02,586 --> 00:25:05,671
I just wish that, um...
424
00:25:05,672 --> 00:25:08,966
that Matt...
425
00:25:08,967 --> 00:25:10,510
was comfortable
sharing with me,
426
00:25:10,511 --> 00:25:12,596
like, everything
that I heard today.
427
00:25:14,723 --> 00:25:18,684
- I mean, it's not... not like
he didn't trust you.
428
00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:23,564
That scar was...
429
00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:27,276
everything he hated
about our childhood.
430
00:25:27,277 --> 00:25:30,488
He didn't... he didn't
want to deal with it.
431
00:25:30,489 --> 00:25:32,823
- And I think I-I, um...
432
00:25:32,824 --> 00:25:34,117
I went to
your mom's house, like,
433
00:25:34,118 --> 00:25:36,369
looking for someone to blame,
because if it was her fault
434
00:25:36,370 --> 00:25:39,247
or your father's fault
or your whole family's fault,
435
00:25:39,248 --> 00:25:40,915
um, then it...
436
00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:45,337
then it didn't have to be
my fault that he was unhappy.
437
00:25:47,130 --> 00:25:49,882
- Wasn't your fault, Leigh.
438
00:25:49,883 --> 00:25:51,759
- I just really wanted
to make him happy,
439
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,137
and I don't know if I did.
440
00:25:57,891 --> 00:26:01,102
- Come here.
Let me show you something.
441
00:26:01,103 --> 00:26:03,604
Can I show you something?
442
00:26:08,110 --> 00:26:13,030
Oh, my God!
Oh!
443
00:26:14,992 --> 00:26:17,994
Oh, my God.
What are you doing?
444
00:26:22,165 --> 00:26:26,419
- Oh, my God.
You are the worst.
445
00:26:26,420 --> 00:26:28,504
This is
the saddest... ever.
446
00:26:28,505 --> 00:26:30,298
The saddest... ever, look.
447
00:26:30,299 --> 00:26:32,717
Flip cup... come here, bro.
448
00:26:32,718 --> 00:26:36,220
Flip cup with orange soda,
listening to Jack Johnson.
449
00:26:36,221 --> 00:26:37,889
That's how you spent your
last night of freedom, bro.
450
00:26:37,890 --> 00:26:38,932
- Oh, yeah?
451
00:26:38,933 --> 00:26:40,725
- Remember that
20 years from now.
452
00:26:40,726 --> 00:26:42,560
20 years from now.
453
00:26:42,561 --> 00:26:44,228
You're sitting on the couch
watching this
454
00:26:44,229 --> 00:26:45,771
with your boring wife
and your light-ass kids.
455
00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:47,106
Look at her.
456
00:26:48,318 --> 00:26:49,984
Ew, gross.
457
00:26:49,985 --> 00:26:52,820
Hey, man, it's not too late
to change your mind.
458
00:26:52,821 --> 00:26:54,822
You know it's not.
- Yeah, well, never.
459
00:26:54,823 --> 00:26:56,741
- What?
- Ah!
460
00:27:05,918 --> 00:27:10,338
- You gonna tell me
that guy isn't happy?
461
00:27:10,339 --> 00:27:12,256
- Thank you.
462
00:27:22,017 --> 00:27:24,685
- I have some more of Matt
playing charades later.
463
00:27:24,686 --> 00:27:27,104
You want to watch it?
- Yeah, immediately.
464
00:27:30,443 --> 00:27:32,443
- Let's go, bring it home
for the home team.
465
00:27:32,444 --> 00:27:34,403
- No, this is impossible.
I won't...
466
00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:35,405
- No, no, no, no, no.
467
00:27:35,405 --> 00:27:36,573
If you pulled it,
you have to play.
468
00:27:36,574 --> 00:27:37,907
There's no passing.
- Yeah, I'm starting
469
00:27:37,908 --> 00:27:39,242
the timer right now.
- Here we go.
470
00:27:39,243 --> 00:27:40,660
- It's already started.
- Come on, man.
471
00:27:40,661 --> 00:27:42,537
- Come on, dude.
- Okay, um...
472
00:27:42,538 --> 00:27:43,955
- Let's get it. Let's get it.
This is game time.
473
00:27:43,956 --> 00:27:45,331
- Um...
474
00:27:45,332 --> 00:27:48,376
- Two, two words.
Two words, two words. Okay.
475
00:27:48,377 --> 00:27:50,628
- Four, four...
four words.
476
00:27:50,629 --> 00:27:54,298
Four syllables.
Ten seconds!
477
00:27:54,299 --> 00:27:56,467
Oh, man.
478
00:28:08,522 --> 00:28:11,984
Oh, it's amazing.
479
00:28:24,496 --> 00:28:26,914
I know I should pull it
together for my best friend,
480
00:28:26,915 --> 00:28:28,332
but if I stay,
I'm gonna lose it,
481
00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:30,251
and I don't want to make this
about me.
482
00:28:30,252 --> 00:28:32,211
- Oh, my God.
Leigh?
483
00:28:32,212 --> 00:28:33,213
Ginny Maxwell.
484
00:28:33,214 --> 00:28:34,589
I did the flowers
for your wedding.
485
00:28:34,590 --> 00:28:36,007
Is Matt here too?
486
00:28:36,008 --> 00:28:38,634
- This wedding is making me
feel really, really single.
487
00:28:38,635 --> 00:28:39,803
- Me too.
488
00:28:39,804 --> 00:28:42,805
When I was drinking, I had
no problem meeting people.
489
00:28:42,806 --> 00:28:45,099
- She's been sober
for almost five months.
490
00:28:45,100 --> 00:28:46,642
- Her compass is broken.
491
00:28:46,643 --> 00:28:48,603
She gets too close to people
too fast.
492
00:28:48,604 --> 00:28:51,189
- That dude is definitely
swiping right on you right now.
493
00:28:51,190 --> 00:28:54,066
- Um, I guess I should go see
if it's a match.
494
00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:55,527
Don't wait up.
35549
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