Original subtitles

Previously on Mystery Incorporated...

Like since when don't you wanna be late for school?

Since I found out who our new Biology teacher is.

Doctor Rick Spartan. I'm your biggest fan.

Mrs. jackson, tell us what happened.

Took me a nap this afternoon,

when I woke up I was on the TV,

and everyone knew my recipe.

Jinkies, look at this, gang.

Senor P. Llave.

Like what kind of name is that?

Primero means first in Spanish and llave is key.

But what does an old gun got to do with a key?

***, the helmet you got on.

Where did you get it?

This is the second key.

But what does all mean?

Nibiru is coming!

Well, howdy, y'all.

It is such a pleasure cooking in front

of a live studio audience here in beautiful Crystal Cove.

Today we'll be cooking up a batch of goodness

I call FranciLee Jackson's double-dip bacon

and butter-breaded croissant snack.

Mmm mmm.

Now, a lot of you folks at home been asking

if I worry about my recipes aren't the healthiest.

All I got to say is, I ain't no doctor, y'all.

While that's simmering,

we'll start prepping my dessert.

I call it FranciLee Jackson's

bacon bread pie-- Oh! Oh! Oh!

Now, don't worry, y'all.

If this happens at home, just throw in another bacon butter.

[Gasps]

[Audience screaming]

No. No!

Get back!

Aah!

[Growls]

[Static, beep]

Danger, Cachinga. Ready your spear.

This is a job for Rick Spartan,

academic of adventure.

Oh, joy. A road trip.

Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

Access denied.

[Indistinct]

Ricky!

Ricky, what have you done?

I've been locked out of the system.

I know. I did it on purpose.

You're out of control, Professor Pericles,

and I'm putting a stop to it.

I'm in charge.

I build Destroido from the ground up,

while you were cooling your beak in prison.

It's time that I--uhh!

You are in charge of nothing, Ricky Owens.

You have never been anything

other than an idiotic human mascot,

a shoulder for me to perch upon.

Come on, Scooby, old buddy.

I'm worried about you.

He only had 3 breakfasts and 2 lunches.

You gotta eat, pal.

I don't feel good, Raggy.

I'm scared.

Nova sat up.

She sat up in her hospital bed and spoke.

She said "Nibiru, Nibiru is coming."

[Teeth chattering] It's too much! It's too much!

It is definitely something.

Nova doesn't speak, ever.

And the more I research this Nibiru,

the less I think I know.

I borrowed this book from my mother, hoping it would help.

"Supernatural curses and the extradimensional forces behind them."

You think maybe Nova's cursed?

This whole town is cursed.

We got used to crazy criminals

pretending to be monsters all the time.

But things are different.

This is can't explain.

It must have something to do with the treasure

buried under Crystal Cove.

The one the planospheric disc should lead us to,

but instead, it keeps leading us to strange old objects,

like the flintlock and the Conquistador's helmet.

The first and second key,

to what and why, I don't know.

Gang, for the first time in our history as mystery-solvers,

we have to consider that something truly supernatural

is happening here.

[Whimpering, teeth chattering]

Well, you know what I say?

When things get scary, the scared get pizza.

And when things get extra scary,

we get extra-deep dish.

Right, Scooby-Doo?

Scooby-Dooby delicious!

You know, Fred, with everything that's happening,

it makes you realize how precious life is.

It kind of makes you not want to waste time

and just tell certain people how you really feel.

Doesn't it?

I think I'm ready now.

I'd be open to hearing how you feel.

You mean, like, emotions or something crazy like that?

Uh...well, right now I guess I feel kind of...

Yes?

Hungry! I feel hungry!

Hunger is not an emotion, Fred Jones!

Here you go.

Two of our 9-layer double deep dish pizzas

with everything twice.

Right here, please.

Mmm! [Slurp]

[Engine revving]

[Crash]

[People screaming] [Gasp]

No way!

It's Dr. Rick Spartan.

He's an academic of adventure.

Cachinga! We've got to get rid of the food!

We've got to get rid of all of the food!

[Gasp]

Ohh!

What is he doing?

Why is he throwing all the food out the window?

Who cares? Whatever Dr. Spartan is doing,

he probably has a great reason for doing it.

I'm gonna get in on this.

Hi, Cachinga!

Charmed, Frederick Jones. Charmed.

Hey, Dr. Spartan, let me help.

Fred Jones, you're a brick.

[Grunts]

What is with that guy? Doesn't he know

there are hungry mouths in the world that need feeding?

Yeah! And yours and mine.

Sir, if I may be so bold, the demon isn't here.

No time for talky-talky. Big-time creepy creep on the way.

- [Gasp] - Huh?

[Loud growling]

[Whimpers]

[Roaring]

Curses! Too late.

We have to stop it.

- Ooh! - Uhh!

Jinkies!

[Growling]

[Snarling]

[Whimpering] Yow!

[Roaring]

All the food is gone.

It ate, like, everything.

What was that thing?

That is the gluten demon.

If we don't stop it, it'll devour the entire food supply

and starve us all, until there's nothing,

and no one left alive in Crystal Cove.

[Tires screeching]

The gluten demon is a terrible beast.

It consumes vast amounts of gluten.

Starchy foods--breads, pastas, that sort of thing.

Cachinga and I have had a gluten-free diet for years.

It's what makes my muscles so chiseled, like a Greek God.

Yeah. And I don't touch the stuff either.

Well, sure you do, Fred.

You eat everything we eat.

I mean as of right now I don't touch the stuff either.

Dr. Spartan, is there anything else you can tell us about this demon?

Cachinga, make book plenty open.

Hold-hold. K-k?

Oh, the scrapbook. How thrilling.

At various times in history,

the beast has shown its heinous face.

The gluten demon was a scourge

from ancient Egypt through the fall of Rome,

destroying their wheat harvests.

It even made an appearance in France,

tainting the bread supply in the 1780s

that ultimately led to the French revolution.

There are other demons that have strange affiliations with food,

like the asparagus demon,

the dairy demon. I vanquished many of them.

Except that olive oil demon. Slippery devil.

Ha ha ha ha!

But as you can see, I don't have any pictures.

My faithful guide and manservant Cachinga here

dropped the camera.

He can't seem to hold a spear

and use modern technology at the same time.

It's because you were shouting at me

to take the picture and I got nervous.

I thought you savages were supposed to have an iron will.

Well, forgive me for being such a disappointment.

Why didn't you let Marion take the pictures?

Where is your wife, anyway?

Marion? Marion's gone.

We had a farm in Africa,

there on the Serengeti.

It was unbelievable.

We saw things.

They have tsetse flies down there the size of eagles.

We would stand in front of our hut and watch in horror

as these giant flies would pick cows and zebras off the ground

and carry them away. And then one day they attacked us.

The giant flies came at us from all sides.

I took down as many as I could, but it was no use.

In the end they got Marion!

They flew away with her to their mountain lair on Kilimanjaro.

She's trapped up there still!

It's horrible.

Horrible!

[Sobbing]

Actually, she's fine.

She's just staying with her mother in Irvine.

They're not getting along.

Cachinga, no more floppy-flop lip-lips.

[Sobbing]

Master needs silence.

Head place have bad juju. K-k?

[Cell phone rings]

It's my mom.

Mom, what's up?

[Growling]

Mom? Mom!

[Tires screeching]

Mom, mom, are you here?

[Clatter] [Gasp] Huh?

- [Teeth chattering] - I'm so... [indistinct].

Hyah! Hyah!

Deputy? What are you doing here?

Sheriff Stone told me to stay here and secure the crime scene.

Apparently some kind of monster wrecked the place

and ate all the biscotti cakes and cookies.

- And my mom? - She's fine. They took her home.

Sheriff had to go down to the rebuilt bloody steak restaurant.

That crazy monster attacked there, too. Ate everything.

The beast is feeding. We have to act fast before it gets too powerful.

Um, if you don't need me, I'll just go back to hiding.

I have a special potion that'll stop the gluten demon cold.

Learned it from a shaman up the Yupiyali River.

It's a tributary of the Amazon.

I think we all know where the Yupiyali River is, Dr. Spartan.

Like, I didn't.

I can't even say it.

Yukaka. Yukaladaa. Yukalalalala.

Cucamonga.

[Babbling]

What a...

Here's the recipe. Cachinga will take you

to the strange and obscure locations

to retrieve all the necessary ingredients.

This is great! We can go with a 3-pronged attack.

Cachinga and the girls get the potion.

Shaggy and Scooby will eat

all the gluten-filled food in town

to starve the gluten demon.

And Dr. Spartan and I will rig a special trap.

Count us in.

Yeah!

Again me and Scooby eat everything.

Poor old Spartan.

He's just so lost without Marion.

Without her, his plans have become quite ludicrous.

The potion itself is probably useless,

but I'd love to investigate the mystery with you girls.

Mr. Cachinga, now you're talking our language.

Let's investigate.

[Both munching]

[Both giggling]

- Mmm! - Mmm!

[Both burp]

Brad, Judy, I need to know I can count on you.

Pericles has gone insane. He's dangerous.

The three of us can still get the treasure,

but Pericles has to go.

- We're with you, Ricky. - You can count on us.

Good. Don't say a word to anyone.

[Brakes squeal]

Jinkies. What's this?

They look like receipts from a warehouse.

And they're all signed AJS.

[Sighs]

Are you the insurance adjusters?

Did you bring me my check?

All: Huh?

You own these studios,

Mr. Albrect J. Schwartz?

Of course, I own the place.

Now give me my million dollars from insurance. Come on.

We are not from the insurance company.

And we were just leaving.

Guys, I think we'd better go check out that warehouse.

I have a feeling that's where our next clue is.

[Tires screech]

Is it me, or is it strange

that an abandoned warehouse in a forgotten part of town

has been filled with baking ingredients?

And the shipping manifest and order forms for all this

are signed by none other than AJS.

That Schwartz fellow.

[Growling]

[Growling]

[Growling]

[Roaring]

Cachinga, what was in that?

Just my lunch.

I'm a gluten-free vegan.

A nice quinoa salad with cucumbers,

a pinch of dill, sprinkle of garlic.

Velma, you think Cachinga's gluten-free food

really drove the demon off?

I'm not so sure what's really going on here.

But something's bugging me.

Come on. We have a few things to check

before we can put this mystery to bed.

Like hospital birth records, food allergies,

and that video footage from FranciLee's live broadcast.

Now, if that gluten demon wants any bread,

he'll have to come to this bakery, right, Dr. Spartan?

Marion should be here. If only she wasn't in the clutches

of that evil Irvine cave troll.

I thought you said tsetse flies as big as eagles took her.

What? I, uh... Never mind all that.

Let's double-check the trap and--

We're back. And have we been busy.

Daphne, it feels like hours since I've seen you.

That's because it has been hours, Fred.

Well, that would explain it.

Listen, we found out so about about the gluten demon--

[roaring]

Like, I'm too full to be scared.

Yeah. Me, too.

- Now, Dr. Spartan! - Huhh!

[Growling]

That thing's gotten too big.

The net won't hold!

[Grunting, straining]

[Whimpers]

[Roaring]

Fred! [Gasp]

Oh!

Like, that gluten demon just crunched on our friends.

Ooh, that makes me mad. Come on.

[Both grunting]

[Creaking]

[Indistinct]

Let's rumble.

Like pick on someone your own super-size size.

[Roaring]

Aah...

Oof!

[Growling]

[All grunting]

Uhh!

[Indistinct]

Yaah!

[Yelling]

[Gasps]

Now let's see who the gluten demon really is.

All: FranciLee Jackson!

Not a big surprise after the work that Cachinga, Daphne, and I did.

FranciLee's cooking show wasn't taped before a live audience.

She made the tape herself,

allowing her to work the special effects

and adding in the gluten demon during editing.

Plus, her stage name is FranciLee Jackson,

but her birth certificate lists her as

Agatha Juniper Schildenheimer.

As AJS, she signed those manifests.

She rented that secret warehouse.

And she has a strange food allergy to all things healthy.

Which is why she reacted to Cachinga's salad lunch so insanely.

The only thing we don't know is why.

Oh, y'all, it's so simple.

I needed a big comeback.

After my cornbread recipe was revealed to have no corn in it,

I was ruined. Ruined!

My only chance was to open my own bakery

where I could serve up my new breakout dish,

the double bacon mayonnaise butter-stuffed pasta surprise

with buttered bread sauce!

Any cook worth their kosher sea salt

knows the legend of the gluten demon.

I dressed up like that and started destroying

every restaurant in town so there'd be no competition when I opened mine.

And I would have done it, too, been a huge success again,

if it weren't for all y'all bread-hatin' health fanatics!

That's it, boys. Let's roll her away.

[Grunting]

My bowl! My precious bowl!

No! My bowl! It's mine!

Mine!

It's ancient by the look of it.

"Tercero llave."

It's the third key!

Dr. Spartan. Rick.

Call Marion. Call your wife

and tell her you love her.

And if she feels the same way,

do everything you gotta do to keep her.

Fred Jones, are you feeling ok?

Not yet.

There. I feel better now.

Cachinga! Make ready minivan plenty fast.

We go quickie-quick. Marion's agreed to come home.

Now all we have to do is rescue her from her mother.

Good to see you in such fine spirits, sir.

[Grunting and straining] Push!

Uh, sorry, guys. Looks like you'll have to walk.

Ok with us.

It'll give us a chance to burn off all this food.

Hoo-hoo!

So you see, Professor Pericles, it's over.

You're not the boss here.

I am.

And you're out of the group.

[Zapping]

[Grunting]

Oh, Ricky, Ricky,

my loyal Brad and Judy told me of your little mutiny.

So, last night while you were asleep,

I put mutated cobra larvae in your spine.

Every time I press this button,

a little venom is released.

So, as you can see,

or feel,

I'm still very much in control.

You do as I say.

First, we steal the planospheric disc from the kinder,

then we destroy them.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Ah ha ha ha ha!

We destroy them...

Ah ha ha ha ha!

Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com