Original subtitles

Previously on Mystery Inc...

The whole planispheric disc!

I've *** together a rudimentary player

for the planispheric disc.

The sooner we find out what this is supposed to do,

the sooner we'll solve the mystery of the *** treasure.

Nibiru!

Jeepers, Fred.

You're living in a van, down by the river.

I didn't have much choice.

My folks got have 20 spare bedrooms in the house

and I'm sure if you moved in, they wouldn't even notice!

You and I should be okay in here.

Nibiru has come!

This has all happened before!

It begins with the animal.

The dog dies.

Is he talking about me?

If each of the pieces reveals a location,

then all of the pieces together should show us the treasure.

Jeepers!

It could be a cache of diamonds!

In a gold trap!

Covered in hot fudge!

Like, wrapped in a burrito!

What would be your opinion, Nova?

Hmm?

[Gasps]

Jinkies, look at this, gang.

"Senor P. Llave."

Like, what kind of name is that?

And what's the deal with the numbers?

Maybe the numbers are more coordinates.

This could be the ultimate treasure destination.

We should be ready to expect anything.

You have to help me!

Sheriff? What's wrong?

We're in the middle of a full-scale galactic war,

and the earth is the prize.

Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

Recently, these memories came flooding back to me.

I was 14, home alone,

doing what all kids did when their mom was gone--

rifle through her drawers looking for old candy

and a used lipstick container I could store my baby teeth in.

Don't act like you never did it.

- No. - Never.

Creepy.

Anyway, there I was late one night in the closet

playing "dead justice"

and pretending to fight Nitro Wisinski,

when I heard something otherworldly

coming from outside.

[Creaking]

[Rattling]

And then all of a sudden,

this bright light appeared from outside.

I felt a presence in the room.

I was paralyzed, and then it came for me.

What came for you?

- An E.B.E. - An ebe?

No, an E.B.E.--

an extraterrestrial biological entity,

an alien being from far beyond the stars,

a gray.

- A gray what? - A gray alien!

You know, those dinky, little bodies;

great, big heads; Smooth, hairless skin.

Aren't you people paying attention?

So, like, you were abducted by an alien.

You could've just said that. It would've been much clearer.

Oh, thanks for the tip, mushmouth.

- [Growls] - [Growls]

Enough, you two. Continue, sheriff.

As I was trying to say...

They took me to their saucer and put a chip in my nasal cavity

so they could track me and steal my memories

and make me do awful things.

What kinds of awful things?

Awful things! Awful!

Like, all right. All right. We get it.

Awful things.

Have you told anyone else about this,

like maybe a licensed psychiatric professional?

Ooh, you don't believe me?

Well, take a look at this.

You were abducted by a teeth-whitening kiosk?

What? Oh, that little, gray beast, he was right there!

Rrgh, they're so crafty. I need your help!

I'm obviously desperate, which I why I came

to 4 child detectives and their talking dog for help.

Now, we must be vigilant. They're very advanced.

Hang on, gang. Check out that store.

Sheriff, this might be a good time

for you to do some sheriffing.

[Clears throat]

Hello, not-real law enforcementers.

I'm sheriff Bronson stone.

This is a minor theft, sheriff,

some high-tech GPS thingamajigger.

We're gonna check out the security footage

if you want to tag along.

Ooh! It's a gray. Hide me.

I don't know, sheriff.

It kind of looks like a kid in a sweatshirt.

There's another one.

Holy battle beyond the stars, it's a Nordic alien!

Or a woman holding a newspaper in front of her face.

Don't be fooled by their Nordic good looks

and peaceful demeanors, girlie.

Then, like, what's that?

A lutoid, shape shifters from Alpha Draconis.

We're being invaded from all sides!

While some call the Nordic aliens our space brothers,

the less nitwitted among us, by which I mean me,

know why they're really here,

and that is to conquer and enslave us.

Is that why the lizard aliens came here, too?

No. The reptoids are already here

living in the middle of our planet

in a sanctuary called hollow earth.

- Huh? - Oh, for the love of--

- Wh-what was that? - Jinkies.

[Radio static]

Like, it's coming back.

Oh!

Mommy.

[Engine stops]

[Engine cranks]

Huh?

Gang, prepare yourselves. I think we're about to be--

Abducted.

Ohh! Ohh!

Waah...

[Whimpering]

Ah.

Aah!

Stupid, stupid corn!

[Whimpers]

[Gasps]

Get out of my way, corn!

[Whimpering]

Weak. Need cheeseburger.

Somebody, like, help.

Huh? Yaah!

Zoinks!

Yaah!

- Aah! - Whoa!

[Footsteps]

If this is where sheriff Bronson stone

makes his last stand, then so be it.

You can't have me, you alien freaks!

Waah! Aah aah aah!

Uh...

Like, sheriff?

Shaggy? Scooby?

Guys, a path.

Who cuts down corn from the middle out?

Corn trap artists.

It's not a path. It's a circle, a crop circle.

A bright, moving light; the Mystery Machine dies;

the radio; a crop circle?

I hate to say it, but--

There really are aliens among us.

So what do we do?

First, we need to find the others.

After that, I know someone who can help us,

although I'm sure I'm going to regret asking her.

Alien invasion?

Oh, sweetie, you have no idea how happy this makes me.

You finally believe.

[Crack]

I told you I was going to regret this.

[Creak]

Velma has always poo-pooed my little hobby...

Obsession.

But I knew she'd come around some day.

You know, the government formed a secret agency

called Majestic 12 to deal with the alien menace.

They focus mainly on grays.

No matter how many letters I write,

they still neglect the reptoid threat.

I suspect the government has a secret treaty

with hollow earth.

It is scientifically impossible

for the center of the earth to be hollow,

much less for bipedal reptiles to be living in it.

When convention and science offer us no answers,

might we not finally turn to the fantastic as a plausibility?

Do you know that most people who claim to have seen a UFO

have really just seen the planet Venus?

Mrs. Dinkley, do you really think you can help us?

Certainly, dear.

With the arrival of the Nordic aliens,

the reptoids have ventured above ground.

I suspect that the grays are stealing technology

to repair their ship.

Now, sheriff, you are obviously the key to everything.

The item in your nasal cavity is both controlling you

and repressing your memories.

I knew it! Is that bad?

Very, but as I have been trained by Dr. Vieber,

the master of abduction regression hypnosis,

I believe I can help.

Please raise your right hand, dear.

Now, don't be frightened, sheriff.

I won't make you quack like a duck or flap your arms.

- Quack, quack, quack, quack. - Quack, quack, quack, quack.

[Snap]

Huh?

So susceptible.

Curious the aliens didn't abduct the two of you.

Hmm. Now, sheriff, keep your eyes on the watch.

Breathe deeply in and out.

[Inhales]

Ahh...

[Sniffs]

Yuck.

Like, you said it, bud. Eww.

Now, dear, tell me about the light.

They come to me over the years.

I knew I'd been repeatedly probed,

but I had no memory of it.

Then one night...

[Static]

[Rattling]

And then what happened, dear?

I was trapped in its creepy alien light.

They took me to their ship and replaced the chip in my schnoz

with something even bigger.

Did they say anything?

Aliens usually give away their odious intentions

while their victim is helpless on the table.

Well, they said--

they said my brain will keep the plans safe.

What plans?

The plans that will take them back home.

The aliens need my brain! They're gonna steal my brain!

Must not be very complicated plans.

[Glass shatters]

What was that?

Look. The space kook is missing.

No, it's not. Like, I think it's right over there.

Look out.

- Oh! - Oh!

Get her before she gets away.

After her. Oh!

Whoa!

Uh!

[Tires screech]

Aliens drive Winnebagos?

Like I said, dear, they've been here a long, long time.

They want my brain.

You have to protect my brain.

You'll be safe here tonight, sheriff.

You can room with me. You a side or back sleeper?

Because I got this great body pillow you can borrow.

I don't need some silly body pillow!

But I am gonna miss my footie PJs.

While you guys are having your little sleepover,

Scooby, shaggy, and I have some investigating to do.

Will you take nova for the night?

You're investigating without us?

There better not be a trap involved.

Like, no trap, just a hunch.

Mom, dad, I'm home. It's only me, no one else.

Honey, come see my new toy.

It's a car in the dining room.

I had to get rid of that flat, wooden thing, of course.

What's it called, love of my life?

A table, darling.

Oh, yeah, a table.

Ah, the Pangaea looks much better here.

It's named after an energy-efficient continent.

I feel greener and more European already.

[Intercom rings]

Hello? Barty Blake here.

Ah, Mr. Blake, I was just checking

on the delivery of your automobile.

Did it, perhaps, arrive safely?

Oh, it sure did.

It's right here in my dining room.

And what more perfect place could there be?

Enjoy the car, sir.

Such wonderful customer service.

That dog is so happy, it makes my teeth hurt,

although that could be caused by the chip in my nasal cavity.

There's nothing more awesome than love,

well, except for traps.

I remember what it was like to feel love for somebody.

It was like some amazonian river fish

had laid eggs in my chest

and they all started to hatch at once.

- That's disgusting. - That's love.

Well, even with my brain, it's hard enough to keep up

with Mayor Nettles, and if the aliens take it,

then, why, I won't even be able to fake knowing things

like her first name and how she likes her bacon cut

into little heart-shaped chunklets.

Huh?

You have to help me keep my brain.

You can count on Mystery Incorporated

to save your brain, sheriff.

Now let's get some sleep.

- Mm... - Mm...

Ah...

[Snoring]

I chased that idiot sheriff off me property the other day.

He was rooting through the garbage cans,

said he was looking for clues,

but when I aimed Nelly here at him,

he skittered away like a crayfish

right back to the mainland,

his arms full of rotten, day-old clams

that had been sitting in the sun too long.

Thanks, skipper. That's helpful.

Shaggy! Help!

[Wind blowing]

[Clock ticking]

[Sighing]

[Creak]

Mm...mm...

[Snoring]

[Snoring]

Like, where should we look?

[Sniffs]

Ugh! Bad smell. Bad smell.

Like, smelly pens?

Like, for the first time ever, I'm not hungry.

Me, neither.

We've solved half the mystery. As for the other half--

jinkies, that's it.

Weren't there 3 mysterious figures at the mall?

Boys, we've cracked this mystery wide open.

Like, we have?

We will have after I make some phone calls

to the power company and the army.

Let's get the gang.

[Engine revving]

Hey, what's going on? Who's revving my baby?

[Tires screech]

My car! My beautiful Pangaea!

- [Gasps] - [Gasps]

[Tires screech]

- Whoa! Whoa! - Oh!

Get in.

[Tires screech]

My brain. They almost got my brain.

Hold on, everyone. It's trapping time.

- Ooh! Whoa! - Ooh!

Don't get too close.

They still might have some alien brain-stealing items

ready to deploy.

That might be true if they were really aliens,

but they are, in fact,

traveler O'Flaherty,

Sheila O'Flaherty,

and Conor O'Flaherty.

Usually, we all recognize the villain

and shout out his name in unison.

Yeah, Velm. Mind cluing us in?

I know all the criminals in crystal cove,

and these jerks aren't ringing a bell.

Like, you had a wanted poster for them on your wall.

Oh, please. Nobody ever pays attention to those.

What is this, the old west?

Were that it were, boyo.

Then perhaps we could've earned an honest living.

When I was a wee lad,

we couldn't even afford peat for our fire.

So I had to lift it.

It turned out, I was a right good thief,

but then I discovered there were things I could steal

other than coal, and, wouldn't you know it,

my kids had an aptitude for the family business, as well.

We started getting a reputation for our business,

and there were our faces splashed all over the universe.

Aye. 'Twas then we got the idea for the costumes

because who'd ever say they saw an outer space creature

stealing a flat-screen television set?

I found out about the Blakes purchasing the Pangaea.

Seemed like it was right up our alley,

and we'd have gotten away with it, too,

if it weren't for you frittering snappers.

Meddling kids!

But I know what I saw-- the aliens,

the cornfield, my nose chip.

Actually, sheriff, during your hypnotic regression,

shaggy and Scooby smelled something on your breath.

- Bad clams. - Bad clams.

The clams induced a hallucination

that made everything seem real.

What about the lights on the road?

A weather balloon that got loose from the army.

And the Mystery Machine fritzing out?

Too many people turning on their air conditioners

at the same time created an electromagnetic pulse

that shut the Mystery Machine's engine down.

The crop circle?

A farmer writing, "I love you"

to his wife for their anniversary.

Aw, we must've been standing in the "O" of "love."

Or the "O" of "you."

It was the "O" of "love," Fred.

So I wasn't repeatedly abducted

and experimented on by aliens?

Doesn't seem so, sheriff.

Then I'm no longer a victim, and you, O'Flaherty family,

are under arrest for thievery

and impersonation of invaders from outer space,

and you're going away for a long, long time.

We still have one big mystery to solve--

the planispheric disc.

I took the liberty of punching in the coordinates

into the Mystery Machine's GPS.

Gang, we're heading for Gatorsburg.

This is the place.

I found something.

"Senor Primero Llave."

"Primero" means first in Spanish, and "llave" is key.

Then maybe there some kind of key in the coffin.

Scoob, you feel like digging, pal?

Why do I always have to dig up the graves?

I just washed my paws.

It's empty.

Not quite.

Like, what does an old gun have to do with a key?

No idea, shag, but we're not gonna figure it out here.

I say we head back to--

Our office!

What happened?

No idea. It's a mystery.

Good thing nobody was inside.

Somebody could've gotten really hurt.

Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com