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AT THIS SMALL CONGREGATION

KNOWN AS "CHURCH OF THE SHEPHERD,"

LOVE IS ALL AROUND.

[♪♪♪]

MARRIAGE IS A LIFETIME COMMITMENT

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED.

I WONDER, WILL I EVER BE

ON THE RECEIVING END OF THE WEDDING VOWS?

A DEEP CONNECTION

THROUGH ALL THE SLINGS AND ARROWS

OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE.

NO MORE LONELINESS.

NO MORE ISOLATION.

I GIVE YOU THIS RING AS A SYMBOL OF MY LOVE.

A 30-YEAR-OLD SINGLE MINISTER LIVES IN DATING SIBERIA.

I GIVE YOU THIS RING AS A SYMBOL OF MY LOVE.

THE WEDDING RING

IS A SYMBOL OF THE ENDURING PROMISES

THAT DAN AND STACY HAVE MADE ON THIS DAY.

IN AS MUCH AS YOU HAVE EXCHANGED YOUR VOWS

AND YOUR RINGS,

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE.

WHAT GOD HAS BROUGHT TOGETHER LET NO ONE TAKE APART.

DAN, YOU MAY KISS YOUR BRIDE.

♪ IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LITTLE MESS ♪

♪ I FORGET HOW BIG I'M BLESSED ♪

♪ THIS IS THE STUFF THAT GETS UNDER MY SKIN ♪

♪ BUT I'VE GOTTA TRUST ♪

♪ YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING ♪

♪ MIGHT NOT BE WHAT I WOULD CHOOSE ♪

♪ BUT THIS IS THE STUFF YOU USE ♪

THE KISS STARTS TO TAKE ON BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS.

FINALLY, THEY COME UP FOR AIR AND I CAN PRESENT THEM.

♪ I'VE GOT A NEW APPRECIATION ♪

♪ IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD ♪

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

ANOTHER WEDDING RECEPTION SOLO,

BUT THIS IS THE LAST ONE.

SOON, I'LL BE FREE.

[♪♪♪]

I'VE LEARNED THE HARD WAY

THAT I DON'T BELONG IN THE MINISTRY.

[APPLAUSE]

YOU DID A FINE JOB

FILLING IN FOR REVEREND BLACK.

OH, THANK YOU, MRS. SANDERSON.

A NICE GIRL LIKE YOU OUGHT TO BE MARRIED BY NOW.

AREN'T YOU SWEET?

YOU KNOW, NEXT WEEK IS VALENTINE'S DAY.

DO YOU HAVE A DATE?

NO. NOT YET.

[APPLAUSE]

THE STRANGE REALITY OF BEING A MINISTER

IS THAT YOUR LIFE

BECOMES THE BUSINESS OF YOUR CONGREGATION.

THEY HAVE A STAKE IN YOU.

IF YOU MESS UP, IT REFLECTS ON THEM,

SO YOU GO THROUGH YOUR DAYS

IN A SORT OF BEHAVIORAL STRAITJACKET

THAT KEEPS YOU FROM TRAUMATIZING YOURSELF

OR ANYONE ELSE.

I'LL BE GLAD TO LEAVE THAT BEHIND.

TAKE IT EASY, HART.

PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING.

MRS. SANDERSON,

THIS IS REVEREND DAVID SWENSON,

ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS FROM DIVINITY SCHOOL.

-NICE TO MEET YOU. -AS WELL.

I HAVEN'T TOLD DAVID

ABOUT MY DECISION TO LEAVE THE MINISTRY.

HE'S NOT GOING TO LIKE IT.

NICE JOB ON THE NUPTIALS.

THANKS.

DO THEY LET THE ASSOCIATE MINISTER

DO MANY WEDDINGS OVER THERE AT THE CHURCH FOR THE SHEEP?

HA-HA. VERY FUNNY.

I'M JUST A TEMPORARY FILL-IN FOR REVEREND BLACK.

AH, YES,

REVEREND BLACK'S GOLF INJURY.

AND HOW GOES THE RECOVERY FOR THE GOOD REVEREND?

DOING VERY WELL, ACTUALLY.

HE'LL BE BACK NEXT WEEK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THE BRIDE'S FOLKS

ARE MEMBERS OF THE CONGREGATION AT ST. HELGA'S.

AND...

IT'S A GOOD THING FOR YOU THAT I'M HERE,

BECAUSE I MIGHT BE THE ONLY PERSON UNDER 70

TO ASK YOU TO DANCE.

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

YEAH, AS I RECALL

YOUR WALTZ IS

A CRIMINAL OFFENSE IN 10 STATES. HEY!

THAT'S ASSAULT, SWENSON.

THEN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE ME ARRESTED?

COME ON.

SO HOW WAS YOUR DATE?

IT WAS GREAT,

UNTIL I WAS FORCED TO REVEAL WHAT I DID FOR A LIVING.

SHE KEPT LOOKING AT ME LIKE I WAS A FREAK OF NATURE.

AND YOUR POINT IS?

DO I NEED TO HIT YOU AGAIN?

OH, LOOK. THAT'S OLIVIA TOMPKINS.

SHE'S ONE OF OUR LARGEST FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTORS,

BUT ALSO OUR BIGGEST GOSSIP,

SO I HAVE NO DOUBT

THAT OUR DANCE WILL BE

THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION AT THE NEXT WOMEN'S AUXILIARY.

WE'RE REALLY JUST TWO PREACHERS

TRYING TO PASS FOR NORMAL PEOPLE.

OOH. YUM.

YOU KNOW, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE

TO EAT THE ENTIRE KITCHEN AND NOT GAIN AN OUNCE.

I REALLY RESENT THAT ABOUT YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO TOMORROW NIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW, WATCHING TV...

ORDERING A PIZZA.

IF I'M FEELING TRULY ADVENTUROUS,

ONE WITH EVERYTHING ON IT.

HOW ABOUT A MOVIE?

NOT IF IT INVOLVES

WATCHING A COUPLE

OF TESTOSTERONE-CHALLENGED MEN BLOWING UP THINGS.

OKAY, AND WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?

OH, NO, WAIT.

LET ME GUESS. A ROMANTIC COMEDY?

ISN'T THERE A MOVIE

LIKE "PRIDE AND PREJUDICE" MEETS "THE MATRIX"?

NO.

OKAY, FINE, BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE PAYING.

DEAL.

"YOU'RE SO LOVELY. YOU SHOULD BE MARRIED BY NOW."

YOU FEEL LIKE A DESPERATE, OLD SPINSTER.

DO YOU KNOW THAT THE PARISHIONERS AT MY CHURCH

ARE NO LONGER BETTING ON MY LOVE LIFE,

BUT ARE ACTUALLY PRAYING FOR IT?

WELL, I WOULDN'T BE CONCERNED

UNTIL THEY START ORGANIZING 24-HOUR PRAYER VIGILS.

MY OTHER BEST FRIEND SINCE DIVINITY SCHOOL,

THE REVEREND LARONDA MASON.

I HAVEN'T TOLD RONNIE

ABOUT MY DECISION TO LEAVE THE MINISTRY YET EITHER.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE THE LOOK OF DISAPPOINTMENT ON HER FACE.

DO YOU MIND IF WE HAVE THE CHECK?

THANK YOU.

SO WHEN IS PASTOR BLACK

GOING TO BE BACK IN COMMAND OF THE PULPIT?

NEXT WEEK, I'LL BE BACK TO BEING AN ASSOCIATE,

WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH

LIKE BEING TANTALUS FROM GREEK MYTHOLOGY.

WHO WAS TANTALUS?

HE'S THE GUY WHO HUNGERS IN THE UNDERWORLD

WITH FOOD FOREVER BEYOND HIS REACH.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE ME NEXT WEEK

AFTER I START MY NEW FITNESS PROGRAM.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME, THIS APPLE PIE LOOKS--

OH, YES. PLEASE DO.

AMAZING.

YOU KNOW, YOU MAKE BEING A MINISTER

LOOK LIKE A CAKEWALK.

YOU GOT YOUR CONGREGATION TO BUILD A 1,500-SEAT SANCTUARY

AND PARTNER WITH A SISTER CHURCH IN AFRICA.

IT'S AMAZING.

YES, I'M A PREACHER'S KID,

BUT IT'S STILL FEELS LIKE

I'M HAULING MYSELF UP MOUNT EVEREST

WITH MY LEGS TIED EVERY DAY.

THE LAST TIME I TRUSTED A CHURCH,

I GOT FIRED AND HUMILIATED.

MAYBE I'M NOT SUITED FOR THIS.

YOU CAN'T PLAY IT SAFE WITH THE MINISTRY, CASE.

IF YOU HAVE SECURITY,

THEN YOU'RE NOT DOING YOUR JOB.

AND I KNOW YOU'RE LOOKING FOR GUARANTEES IN THIS,

BUT THERE AREN'T ANY.

HOW CAN ANYONE LIVE

WITHOUT AT LEAST A FEW GUARANTEES OF SOME KIND?

IT'S CALLED "FAITH."

THANK YOU.

WHICH JUST REAFFIRMS

MY DECISION TO LEAVE THE MINISTRY

AND TO GO TO LAW SCHOOL.

I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED AT BRAXTON FOR THE FALL SEMESTER.

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA

WHAT THIS EMERGENCY MEETING IS ABOUT?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

SO, YOU AND REVEREND SWENSON?

I SAW YOU DANCING LAST NIGHT.

ARE YOU AN ITEM?

NO. DAVID AND I ARE JUST FRIENDS.

THAT'S WHAT CELEBRITIES SAY IN THE TABLOIDS,

THEN THEY TURN AROUND,

AND, NINE MONTHS LATER, THEY HAVE A LOVE CHILD.

I CAN ASSURE YOU

THAT REVEREND SWENSON AND I

ARE IN NO IMMEDIATE DANGER OF THAT HAPPENING.

WELL...

HE IS A VERY HANDSOME YOUNG MAN.

GOOD MORNING.

AM I LATE?

WE JUST STARTED. HAVE A SEAT.

OKAY...

PASTOR BLACK HAS JUST ANNOUNCED HIS RETIREMENT.

HE DID?

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.

MISS HART,

CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU HAVE BEEN APPOINTED INTERIM SENIOR MINISTER.

OF COURSE, YOU'LL HAVE TO KEEP

YOUR OTHER CHRISTIAN EDUCATION PROGRAMS

STILL RUNNING,

BUT WE HAVE FAITH IN YOU, CASEY.

WE KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.

OH, ED.

-THAT IS REALLY FLATTERING-- -YEAH, I KNOW.

I MEAN, MOST CHURCHES

WOULDN'T TRUST A WOMAN WITH THIS KIND OF THING,

BUT WE'RE PROGRESSIVE

HERE AT THE CHURCH OF THE SHEPHERD.

AS TREASURER,

I FEEL IT IS A MISTAKE TO ASK ASSOCIATE PASTOR HART

TO TAKE ON THE POSITION

OF SENIOR PASTOR.

OH, YOU DO?

AND WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S A MISTAKE, MRS. TOMPKINS?

NOW, NOW, DEAR,

I'M JUST-- I'M JUST LOOKING OUT FOR YOUR BEST INTERESTS.

YOU'RE FAR TOO YOUNG

AND INEXPERIENCED...

WE DON'T HAVE THE RESERVES

FOR THREE MINISTERS.

THAT'S WHY CASEY HERE

IS THE PERFECT SOLUTION.

IT WOULD TAKE ABOUT A YEAR, IS THAT RIGHT,

TO FIND A NEW PASTOR?

MAYBE 18 MONTHS?

WELL, THAT'S REALLY UP TO US, CASEY.

WE JUST NEED YOU TO HOLD THE FORT TO THE END OF THE YEAR.

WE DON'T NEED A REAL SENIOR MINISTER

FOR THIS INTERIM.

AND I'M SURE YOU CAN FILL BOTH CHAIRS

UNTIL WE FIND ONE.

I DON'T THINK THAT--

[AHEM]

I'M SURE

CASEY WOULD BE DELIGHTED TO DO AS WE ASK.

SHE KNOWS WE CAN'T GET ALONG WITHOUT HER.

WELL, THAT'S SETTLED, THEN.

CASEY, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU

TO EXCUSE YOURSELF

SO WE CAN START TALKING ABOUT

THE SEARCH PROCESS.

OH.

BUT THANK YOU FOR COMING.

OKAY.

RIGHT.

WELL, IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO

TO HELP WITH THE SEARCH,

YOU'LL LET ME KNOW.

OH, CASEY,

WOULD YOU BE A DEAR

AND BREW US A FRESH POT OF COFFEE?

OH, AND SOME OF THOSE LITTLE COOKIES

LEFT OVER FROM THE FELLOWSHIP MEETING.

DECAF OR REGULAR?

HELLO, MY NAME IS CASEY.

I'LL BE YOUR SERVER TODAY.

[CASEY]: I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS.

ARE YOU SURE THE MOVIE'S ACTUALLY SOLD OUT

OR IS THIS JUST A PLOY

SO YOU CAN SHOW OFF YOUR CHOIR-BOY PAST?

OH, COME, ON, ADMIT IT,

MY VOCAL STYLINGS ARE WAY MORE ENTERTAINING

THAN A COUPLE OF MUSCLE HEADS

BLOWING EACH OTHER UP.

WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

[SINGING OFF-KEY]: ♪ OH, SUSANNA ♪

♪ DON'T YOU CRY FOR ME ♪

♪ WHEN I COME TO ALABAMA WITH A BANJO ON MY KNEE ♪

[ANNOUNCER]: LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE LADIES

AND WELCOME OUR NEXT PERFORMERS TO THE STAGE.

I TOLD YOU TO GET YOUR OWN.

OH. COME ON, SHARE.

NO.

OH, THAT'S US.

YOU DIDN'T.

OF COURSE, I DID. COME ON.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.

WHAT SONG DO YOU CHOOSE?

I REQUESTED ANYTHING BY BON JOVI.

[JAZZ NUMBER PLAYS]

OKAY.

♪ 'CAUSE I-- ♪

[SCATTING]

♪ I.... AIN'T GOT NOBODY ♪

♪ NOBODY ♪

♪ CARES FOR ME ♪

♪ NOBODY CARES FOR ME ♪

♪ I'M.... SO SAD AND LONELY ♪

♪ WHOA! OH, LONELY OH, LONELY ♪

♪ SO LONELY... ♪

♪ NOBODY... ♪

♪ CARES FOR ME ♪

♪ NOBODY CARES FOR ME... ♪

[CASEY]: DEAR LORD,

HOW COULD I HAVE KNOWN DAVID FOR EIGHT YEARS

AND NOT NOTICED HOW ADORABLE AND HOT HE IS?

IT'S DAVID.

MAYBE IT IS DAVID.

[SCATTING]

WHAT'S UP?

YOU'VE BEEN ACTING STRANGE FOR A WHILE.

YOU STILL OWME A MOVIE.

DONE. I'M KIND OF IN A MOOD FOR ICE CREAM.

OH, I CAN'T,

I'M PREACHING TOMORROW, REMEMBER?

OKAY, BUT NEXT SATURDAY AFTER THE MOVIE,

WE'RE GOING TO GET ICE CREAM.

NEXT SATURDAY'S VALENTINE'S DAY.

I'M BUSY.

WHAT, YOU GOT A HOT DATE?

YEP.

ALL RIGHT, CASEY! WAY TO GO!

SO, WHO'S THE LUCKY GUY?

NO ONE.

WOW. IT MUST BE PRETTY SERIOUS IF YOU WON'T SPILL THE DETAILS.

I DON'T WANT TO JINX IT.

HEY, CASE, IT'S NOT ONE OF YOUR PARISHIONERS, RIGHT?

NO! I'M NOT POACHING SHEEP

FROM MY OWN FLOCK.

[CASEY]: I'VE BROKEN A CARDINAL RULE--

THE ONE ABOUT MIXING FRIENDSHIP WITH ROMANTIC FEELINGS.

I CAN NEVER LET HIM KNOW HOW I FEEL

AND RISK LOSING HIS FRIENDSHIP,

BUT, MOSTLY,

I'M AFRAID OF WHAT I FELT IN THERE TONIGHT.

[CASEY]: SLOW DOWN.

I CAN'T BREATHE.

I'VE BEEN WAITING ON THIS

SINCE THE FIRST WEEK OF DIV. SCHOOL.

I KNOW, RONNIE, BUT IT'S DAVID!

YOU MEAN SMART, TALL, FUNNY, KIND DAVID?

THE KIND OF MAN THAT WE'D GIVE OUR EYETEETH FOR?

I MEAN, LOOK,

IF THAT ZING OF ATTRACTION YOU FELT FOR HIM WAS REAL,

THEN YOU NEED TO TELL HIM.

I WILL. I WILL!

AFTER I GO OUT ON THIS DATE

ON SATURDAY NIGHT.

OKAY, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU'RE TURNING DOWN A DATE

WITH A MAN YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO

TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH A MAN WHO DOESN'T EXIST?

YES! EXACTLY.

EXCEPT FOR DAVID DIDN'T ASK ME ON A DATE.

HE TOOK ME FOR GRANTED,

ASSUMING THAT I WOULDN'T BE BUSY

ON VALENTINE'S DAY.

GIRL, THAT'S YOUR FAULT.

NOT ONLY DID YOU

GIVE HIM THE LICENSE TO TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED,

YOU PRINTED IT, SIGNED IT AND LAMINATED IT.

YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT.

BUT I CAN'T LET HIM KNOW THAT I LIED.

I CAN'T SEEM THAT PATHETIC.

WILL YOU HELP ME?

I HAVE TO FIND A DATE FOR SATURDAY NIGHT.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

WHAT ABOUT JAMES?

NO.

OKAY, DO YOU WANT ME TO ASK MY COUSIN

TO TAKE YOU OUT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY?

YES.

I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE NOTHING FOR HIM,

AND IF IT AIN'T TRUE LOVE, IT AIN'T WORTH IT.

RONNIE, PLEASE. I HAVE TO SAVE FACE.

YOUR FACE NEEDS TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SAVE IT

BESIDES MY COUSIN.

[CASEY]: YOU KNOW WHAT,

I'M SORRY, I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED THAT.

I'LL HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE.

MAYBE SOME OF THE BARISTAS WILL KNOW SOMEONE I COULD DATE.

FINE. I'LL ASK MY COUSIN.

HE JUST BROKE UP WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND

AND I KNOW HE HAS NOTHING TO DO.

PLUS, HE OWES ME.

OH, RONNIE! THANK YOU! YOU'RE THE BEST.

YEAH, YEAH. I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.

[FRIENDLY KNOCKING ON DOOR]

-HEY. -HELLO?

WHOA, HART. CHECK YOU OUT.

UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DAVID?

OH, MY INTERNET'S DOWN.

OH, SO MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.

OH, RIGHT,

YOU'VE GOT THAT BIG DATE TONIGHT.

I TOTALLY FORGOT.

IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY.

YEAH, AND HE'S GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

SO ARE YOU RUNNING BEHIND?

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, I DON'T LOOK READY?

SO YOU'RE NOT READY?

I DON'T KNOW. YOU LOOK FINE TO ME.

DO I LOOK FINE, OR DO I LOOK NOT READY?

WHICH ONE IS IT?

UH, YOU LOOK...

TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, KIND OF WEIRD.

I LOOK WEIRD?

YEAH. YOU'RE ALL...

SEXY AND STUFF.

OH.

WOULD IT AMAZE YOU, DAVID,

TO DISCOVER THAT SOME MEN

ACTUALLY FIND ME ALL "SEXY AND STUFF"?

DON'T ANSWER THAT.

IT WILL BE EASIER.

HI.

OH, WOW. YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.

[CASEY]: OH, THANK YOU.

YOU LOOK PRETTY HANDSOME YOURSELF.

-HEY, CASE? -YEAH?

JUST DON'T FORGET THAT WE'VE GOT

THAT MINI-BOWLING DATE ON WEDNESDAY.

UM, WHAT'S MINI-BOWLING?

IT'S A TRADITION AROUND HERE. IT'S GREAT. YOU'LL LOVE IT.

OKAY. DON'T FORGET TO LOCK UP WHEN YOU LEAVE.

-YOU KIDS HAVE FUN. -WE WILL.

[CASEY]: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

[CASEY]: THAT'S TRUE.

-YOU GOOD? -YEAH.

HEAR THESE WORDS FROM THE GOSPEL OF MARK...

[KNOCKING]

COME IN.

JED IS HERE TO SEE YOU.

OH, THANKS, ANGELIQUE.

THE DANG FOOL THING IS LEAKING SOMETHING FIERCE.

MY FIRST SERIOUS CRISIS AS SENIOR INTERIM MINISTER.

WHY DON'T YOU PATCH IT UP, JED?

WELL, THERE'S NOTHIN' LEFT TO PATCH.

OH.

AND A NEW ONE'S GONNA RUN IN THE THOUSANDS.

OH.

I GUESS I'LL...

WELL, I'LL CALL GUS AND GET THE PROPERTY DIVISION ON IT.

IF YOU THINK THAT'S BEST.

ON SECOND THOUGHT,

WHY DON'T I GO TAKE A LOOK AT IT FOR MYSELF,

JUST TO MAKE SURE

YOU DIDN'T SABOTAGE IT JUST TO TEST ME.

OH. OKAY.

THE LEAK ORIGINATED ABOVE THE CEILING.

YOU CAN GO SEE FOR YOURSELF.

I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO DOUBT ME.

AH...

YEP.

OH, YEAH. I SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, JED.

I'M COMING DOWN.

I GOTTA SAY, IT'S HOPELESS.

OH, IT'S NOT HOPELESS, REVEREND.

IT'S JUST IN NEED OF SOME MALE KNOW-HOW, THAT'S ALL.

MISS HART. THERE YOU ARE.

ED, OLIVIA.

ARE THOSE... COBWEBS

ALL OVER?

LOOK, I'VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS SUNDAY'S SERVICE.

I'LL GET RIGHT BACK TO BOTH OF YOU.

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD FOCUS MORE ON YOUR JOB

AND TRUST JED TO DO HIS.

OH, CASEY,

I'M SURE YOU CAN MANAGE

TO SEE THAT...

THINGS ARE...

KEPT CLEAN AROUND HERE.

AFTER ALL, HOUSEKEEPING IS A WOMAN'S PROVENANCE, ISN'T IT?

OH, SPEAKING OF, OLIVIA,

HAVE YOU SIGNED UP FOR THE COMMUNITY SOUP KITCHEN YET?

-SOUP? -YES.

I'LL SIGN YOU UP.

EXCUSE ME.

UM...

[CHURCH BELL TOLLING]

HEAR THESE WORDS FROM THE GOSPEL OF MARK.

IN TODAY'S PASSAGE, THERE WERE MANY LOST THINGS.

SHEEP. COINS.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A CHILD AND I WOULD LOSE SOMETHING,

MY MOTHER WOULD OFTEN TELL ME

IT WOULD BE IN THE LAST PLACE THAT I LOOKED.

GOD NEVER GIVES UP FINDING US,

NO MATTER HOW FAR WE'VE WANDERED OFF,

NO MATTER WHAT CRACKS WE'VE FALLEN INTO.

HE NEVER GIVES UP.

BUT ARE WE WILLING TO BE FOUND?

BECAUSE WHEN WE TRULY SURRENDER TO THE CARE OF OUR SHEPHERD,

WE ARE RELINQUISHING OUR LIVES TO A HIGHER AUTHORITY.

THANKS BE TO GOD.

AMEN.

[CONGREGATION]: AMEN.

[♪♪♪]

MY GOALS FOR TODAY--

ONE, CONVINCE DAVID IT'S A GOOD IDEA

I TOOK THE INTERIM SENIOR MINISTER JOB.

TWO, CONVINCE MYSELF IT'S A GOOD IDEA

THAT I TOOK THE INTERIM SENIOR MINISTER JOB.

THREE, DON'T LET ON TO DAVID

THAT I HAVE THE URGE TO NIBBLE ON HIS NECK.

FOUR, DON'T ACTUALLY NIBBLE ON HIS NECK.

HEY, CASE.

GO GET YOUR SHOES. COME ON.

OKAY.

SO HOW WAS YOUR DATE?

OKAY.

OKAY...

YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD

AND JUST LET YOUR NATURAL RHYTHM TAKE OVER.

LET ME GUIDE YOU.

SO WE'RE GOING TO TAKE THREE STEPS...

AND THEN RELEASE. OKAY?

HERE WE GO.

ONE, TWO, THREE...

IT'S AN IMPROVEMENT, I GUESS.

SO, HOW'S CHURCH?

IT'S OKAY, I GUESS.

I FEEL LIKE I MISSED A FEW CLASSES

AT DIVINITY SCHOOL,

LIKE PLUMBING 101,

INTRODUCTION TO CULINARY SCHOOL,

HOUSE CLEANING.

AND HERE I THOUGHT ALL I NEEDED

WAS A SIMPLE UNDERSTANDING OF THE BIBLE

AND SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY.

YOU DESERVE YOUR SHOT AT A HEALTHY PASTORATE.

YOU KNOW THIS ISN'T IT.

I JUST--

I JUST WANT TO BE TOP DOG FOR A LITTLE BIT,

LIKE WHAT YOU GET TO EXPERIENCE EVERY DAY.

LOOK, IF YOU'RE HELLBENT ON DOING THIS,

THEN THERE'S A FEW SENIOR PASTOR SECRETS

THAT I NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT.

WHAT? THERE ARE SECRETS?

YOU NEVER TOLD ME THERE WERE SECRETS!

YOU DIDN'T NEED THEM BEFORE.

YOU WERE NEVER A SENIOR PASTOR AT A SIGNIFICANT CONGREGATION.

AS OPPOSED TO AN INSIGNIFICANT CONGREGATION?

I SEE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU NEVER TOLD ME THERE WERE SECRETS.

THIS INFORMATION IS ON A NEED-TO-KNOW BASIS ONLY.

OKAY.

SECRET NUMBER ONE--

AT LEAST ONCE DURING EVERY SERMON,

YOU WANT TO LIFT THE BIBLE UP IN THE AIR

AND YOU WANT TO WAVE IT AROUND.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE SERIOUS.

I AM SERIOUS.

OKAY, WELL, I JUST DON'T KNOW

HOW THAT'S GOING TO HELP.

CONGREGATIONS WANT SOMEONE

THAT'S GOING TO BE ABLE TO PREACH THE MATERIAL.

NICE. OKAY, SECRET NUMBER TWO--

VISIT ANYONE THAT GOES IN THE HOSPITAL

WITHIN 24 HOURS.

OH, WOW. WHO WOULDN'T DO THAT?

YOU'D BE SURPRISED.

I COULD TELL YOU SOME HORROR STORIES AT ST. HELGA'S

THAT WOULD CURL YOUR HAIR.

PLEASE DON'T.

I'M ALREADY USING SIX DIFFERENT TYPES OF GELS

TO KEEP IT STRAIGHT AS IT IS.

IT DOES LOOK KIND OF STRAW-LIKE,

I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S SECRET NUMBER THREE?

NEVER DRIVE A BETTER CAR THAN YOUR PARISHIONERS.

DONE!

GOT THAT ONE!

HOW IS ANY OF THIS GOING TO HELP ME

BECOME A BETTER SENIOR MINISTER?

HEY, HEY!

DON'T UNDERESTIMATE MY ADVICE. IT'S GOLDEN.

THERE IS ONE MORE THING.

DON'T DATE A PARISHIONER.

THAT'S, LIKE, THE SECOND TIME YOU'VE WARNED ME OFF

WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

AND HOW IS ANY OF THAT GOING TO HELP ME

GET MRS. TOMPKINS OFF MY BACK

AND CONVINCE THE BOARD

THAT I CAN LEAD THE CONGREGATION?

WOW!

WHEN YOU'RE THE TOP DOG,

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO PROJECT ALL SORTS OF STUFF ON YOU,

BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

YOU CAN'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

OKAY, I'M PRETTY SURE

I COULD HAVE FIGURED THAT ONE OUT ON MY OWN.

THANK YOU.

CASE, YOU KIND OF HAVE A HABIT

OF NOT REALLY FIGURING THINGS OUT

UNTIL A LITTLE BIT AFTER THE FACT.

[CHURCH BELL TOLLING]

[OLIVIA]: I BROUGHT A LITTLE TREAT FOR OUR MEETING.

[MAN]: OH, OLIVIA, THANK YOU. YOUR WONDERFUL COOKIES.

MM! MY FAVORITE.

DELICIOUS AS ALWAYS, OLIVIA.

WE HAVE TO HAVE SOME COFFEE

WITH THE BLONDIES.

OH, CASEY, PERFECT TIMING.

WOULD YOU PLEASE GET THE COFFEE?

WE HAVE A CONFIRMED REPORT

FROM THE MONEY COUNTERS

THAT THE CASH OFFERINGS

ARE DOWN SIGNIFICANTLY IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS.

WELL, PEOPLE ARE CLEARLY EXPRESSING

THEIR DISPLEASURE WITH CASEY IN THE PULPIT.

WELL, THE QUESTION WE HAVE TO CONSIDER IS

ARE WE CONCERNED ABOUT THEFT

OR WHETHER IT'S A REGULAR FLUCTUATION?

WELL, I CAN'T IMAGINE

ANYONE WOULD WITHHOLD THEIR OFFERING BECAUSE OF CASEY.

[CASEY]: UM, THERE HAVE BEEN

A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT OF TOWN

AND A LITTLE BIT OF RESTLESSNESS

BECAUSE OF REVEREND BLACK'S DEPARTURE.

[OLIVIA]: WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING NOW

BEFORE CASEY CRIPPLES THIS CHURCH FINANCIALLY.

I HATE TO DISAGREE WITH YOU, OLIVIA.

I'M NOT PREPARED TO

JUMP TO THAT CONCLUSION JUST YET.

I THINK WE HAVE TO ADOPT A WAIT-AND-SEE ATTITUDE.

[CASEY]: I'M WILLING TO BET THAT IT'S A TIMING THING.

IF WE JUST GIVE IT SOME TIME.

I AGREE.

SHALL WE VOTE?

EXCELLENT.

CARRIED.

CASEY?

JUST BE CAREFUL, OKAY?

DON'T DO ANY DAMAGE

UNTIL WE CAN GET A REAL MINISTER IN, OKAY?

OKAY.

OKAY, GOOD. OH, COFFEE.

OKAY... LET'S GET THIS MEETING STARTED.

YOU'VE FLOURISHED AS A SOLO PASTOR

WHILE I'VE COLLAPSED

UNDER THE WEIGHT OF CONFLICT AND CRITICISM.

I CAN'T HANDLE ANOTHER CONFLICT RIGHT NOW.

AND I CAN'T BELIEVE

YOU TALKED ME INTO DOING YOUR CRAZY WORKOUT PROGRAM.

THAT WAS NUTS.

IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

LOOK, YOU'RE ONLY AFRAID OF CONFLICT

BECAUSE OF YOUR LAST CHURCH,

AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE.

WELL, YEAH.

THAT CONGREGATION HAD IT OUT FOR ME.

I MEAN, THEY NOT ONLY HATED ME, THEY SERIOUSLY DISLIKED ME.

THERE WERE SCATHING REVIEWS,

UNSIGNED LETTERS AND SECRET MEETINGS.

[RONNIE]: YOU'RE STILL LICKING YOUR WOUNDS.

LOOK, CONFLICT ISN'T ALWAYS BAD.

I MEAN, SOMETIMES, IT'S A GOOD THING.

SOMETIMES, IT HELPS YOU GROW.

I DON'T WANT TO GROW!

I JUST WANT TO GET PAST THIS.

HAVE YOU CALLED DAVID?

AND WHAT WOULD I SAY?

"HEY, DAVID,

"I'VE RECENTLY DEVELOPED A CRUSH ON YOU.

DO YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER?"

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

I NEED DIVINE INTERVENTION.

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

IS TO GET YOUR BOOTY IN GEAR

AND CALL HIM.

YOU KNOW? COME ON, DO IT NOW,

WHILE YOU'VE GOT HIM ALL THROWN OFF.

REALLY?

YES!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

-OKAY. -JUST DO IT!

OKAY.

GREAT.

AND CALL ME RIGHT AFTERWARDS. I NEED THE JUICE.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE SORE TOMORROW.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

GRANT ME FAITH, O LORD.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

HELLO?

[CASEY]: HI, DAVID.

HEY, HART. WHAT'S UP?

NOTHING.

JUST RECOVERING FROM POWER YOGA.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I AM REFEREEING THE DESIGN OF THE NEW WORSHIP CENTER.

APPARENTLY, SANCTUARIES ARE PASSE.

WHO KNEW?

OH. WELL.

HEY, LISTEN,

DO YOU WANT TO HEAD OVER TO LAKE TURNBELL

FOR A WALK THIS EVENING?

I FIGURED YOU'D BE DOING SOMETHING

WITH THAT GUY FROM THE OTHER NIGHT.

YOU TWO LOOKED PRETTY TIGHT.

OH, WE DID?

YEAH.

I FIGURED THAT YOU'D BE BUSY SO I MADE OTHER PLANS.

OH! OH...

WELL, THAT'S NO BIGGIE.

YEAH, WE COULD WALK LAKE TURNBELL ANOTHER TIME.

YEAH, OKAY.

WELL, LOOK, CASE, I SHOULD GET GOING.

I HAVE TO PICK UP MY DATE IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES.

GREAT. OKAY.

HAVE A GOOD TIME,

AND HEY, LISTEN, DON'T WEAR ANY BAND T-SHIRTS.

WEAR, LIKE, A NORMAL SHIRT WITH A COLLAR.

WELL, I DON'T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT A COLLAR,

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

BYE.

WELL, THAT WAS AN EPIC FAILURE.

[CASEY]: I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD

TO MY WEEKLY VISITS WITH MY DEAR FRIEND, SARAH.

SHE'S A MINISTER, TOO,

AND I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON HER FOR SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE.

[♪♪♪]

GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE.

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU UP AND AT 'EM AGAIN.

WHO'S WINNING?

OH! I'M SURE YOU ARE.

HELLO, SIR. HOW'S YOUR ARTHRITIS?

MUCH BETTER, HUH?

GOOD TO HEAR.

MISS VIOLET. HI! HOW'S YOUR HIP HEALING?

OH, I'M ON THE MEND, PASTOR HART.

OH, THAT'S FANTASTIC.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

YOU TAKING CARE OF OUR HANDSOME MAN?

-MM-HMM. -YEAH? GOOD.

SARAH, IT'S ME.

OH, MY DARLING CASEY, WHAT A TREAT.

HI, SARAH.

WHAT'S TROUBLING YOU, MY DEAR?

PULL UP A CHAIR.

TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.

I'M LEAVING THE MINISTRY.

I'M GOING TO GO TO LAW SCHOOL.

MY DAD'LL BE HAPPY.

HE WON'T HAVE TO SEND ME MONEY ANYMORE

TO HELP PAY FOR MY RENT EVERY MONTH,

AND I WON'T HAVE

THOSE PESKY PARISHIONERS

MAKING MY LIFE A LIVING NIGHTMARE.

HAS GOD CALLED YOU THERE?

OR ARE YOU

LIKE JONAH,

RUNNING AWAY

BECAUSE THINGS AREN'T GOING ACCORDING TO YOUR PLANS?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOD WANTS ANYMORE.

I THOUGHT I HEARD THE BIG GUY SAY "MINISTRY,"

BUT NOW I'M THINKING IT MIGHT'VE BEEN "MISERY."

IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAYS. I'M NOT CUT OUT FOR THE CHURCH.

THE OPPOSITE OF FAITH ISN'T DOUBT,

IT'S FEAR.

THAT IS FEAR TALKING.

FEAR'S BEEN DOING A LOT OF TALKING LATELY.

[CHUCKLES] OH.

GOD WORKS IN THE DIVINE'S OWN SWEET TIME.

HOW LONG WOULD YOU BE WILLING

TO WAIT FOR GOD TO LEAD YOU TO THAT RIGHT PLACE?

WHAT'S YOUR LIMIT?

I THINK I'VE REACHED MY LIMIT.

I MEAN, IT TOOK JACOB 14 YEARS TO FIND A WIFE,

AND THE ISRAELITES,

THEY ROAMED THE WILDERNESS FOR 40 YEARS.

I MEAN, DOESN'T GOD KNOW THAT THE WORLD

WORKS AT A MUCH FASTER PACE THESE DAYS?

IF YOU'VE COME FOR MY BLESSING,

I CAN'T GIVE YOU ONE.

YOU MADE A COMMITMENT TO GOD.

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN UNMAKE THAT PROMISE.

CHURCH HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY REFUGE, YOU KNOW?

I FOUND...

AFFIRMATION AND...

OPPORTUNITY...

AND COMFORT.

IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE THE RIGHT THING.

YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS DONE WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE RIGHT THING,

BUT LOOK AT WHERE IT'S GOTTEN ME.

I THOUGHT YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

I DON'T WANT...

YOU DON'T WANT WHAT?

IT'S JUST HARD,

BEING SO CLOSE TO WHAT YOU WANT

AND KNOWING YOU'LL NEVER HAVE IT.

HAVE FAITH IN GOD.

TRUST YOURSELF.

AND GOD.

AND DRINK SOME TEA.

[ANNOUNCEMENT CRACKLING AS PHONE BEEPS]

[DAVID]: HE'LL HELP YOU THROUGH THIS TOUGH TIME,

AND I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED SOMEONE IN YOUR PARISH

ON YOUR SIDE,

AND NOW YOU'LL HAVE A FRIEND, AND YOU WON'T BE LONELY.

YEAH, I MEAN, HOW CAN I BE LONELY

WITH LITTLE SIMON PETER AROUND TO KEEP ME COMPANY?

HOT DATE TONIGHT?

NOT UNLESS YOU COUNT SIMON PETER.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

I AM GOING TO THE MOVIES,

BUT ABSOLUTELY NO ICE CREAM AFTERWARD.

THAT'S YOUR TERRITORY.

I'LL HOLD YOU TO THAT.

YOU'D BETTER.

OKAY.

I'M GOING TO GO PAY FOR THIS STUFF.

OKAY. THANK YOU.

[♪♪♪]

HI, ANGELIQUE.

OH! UH, ED CALLED.

HE HAS SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR YOU.

OKAY.

DAVID CALLED FOR YOU FROM A PET STORE.

DID THAT.

MRS. TOMPKINS WANTS YOU TO MAKE A GROCERY RUN

FOR SALAD DRESSINGS BEFORE THE NEXT

LADIES' AUXILIARY MEETING.

I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS HER PERSONAL SHOPPER

AS WELL AS HER MINISTER. NEXT?

HE BOUGHT YOU A FISH?

OH. YEAH.

ISN'T THAT, LIKE, THE SWEETEST THING?

THAT'S A BETTA FISH.

SO?

YOU CAN'T PUT A BETTA FISH IN THE TANK WITH OTHER FISH

BECAUSE IT'LL ATTACK AND KILL THEM.

HE GOT ME AN AGGRESSIVE, ANTISOCIAL FISH?

OH, THEY BITE, TOO.

YEAH.

YEAH.

RIGHT. LET'S GET STARTED.

FIRST...

OH, THE COLLECTION MONEY IS STILL WORRISOMELY LOW.

I HEARD A RUMOR THAT SOMEONE'S

BEEN SKIMMING CASH OUT OF THE PLATES.

I FEEL SECURE, OLIVIA,

THAT THE CASH BOX IN THE SACRISTY IS SECURE.

WE'VE BEEN USING THAT SYSTEM FOR YEARS,

AND WE'VE NEVER HAD ANY PROBLEM.

ONLY THE CHURCH TREASURER

AND THE MONEYCOUNTERS HAVE A KEY, SO...

THAT'S YOU AND THEM, OLIVIA.

WELL, THEN THERE'S ONLY ONE OTHER EXPLANATION.

THE OFFERING IS DOWN

BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T WANT A WOMAN IN THE PULPIT.

YOU SHOULD RESIGN NOW BEFORE YOU DESTROY THIS CHURCH.

[ED]: IS IT TOO MUCH FOR YOU, CASEY?

WE WERE...

WE WERE THINKING IT MIGHT BE.

[♪♪♪]

IF THE OFFERINGS ARE DOWN,

I'M SURE IT HAS MORE TO DO WITH THE CHANGE IN THE GIVING CYCLE

THAN WITH A REVOLT FROM THE PARISHIONERS.

[OLIVIA]: WE ARE IN DIFFICULT ENOUGH

FINANCIAL STRAITS.

WE CAN'T JEOPARDIZE THE FINANCIAL HEALTH

OF THE CHURCH.

OOH, HOW DID IT GO?

YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

THAT GOOD, HUH?

-YEAH. -OKAY.

[SIGHS WEARILY]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

REVEREND HART.

HEY, IT'S ME.

WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER FOR DINNER AND I'LL COOK SOMETHING?

UM, YEAH, YOU'RE FABULOUS,

BUT YOUR IDEA OF A HOMECOOKED MEAL

IS HAMBURGER HELPER AND A CAN OF GREEN BEANS.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

HOW ABOUT I COOK?

EXCELLENT. IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE HAD STEAK A LA CASEY.

PFFT. OKAY, MOOCH.

SEE YOU AT 7:00?

I'LL BRING DESSERT.

BRING CHOCOLATE?

YES, MA'AM.

AND I'VE GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU, TOO.

OH, NO, NO, NO. I CAN'T HANDLE ANOTHER SURPRISE THIS WEEK.

YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE. YOU'LL SEE.

OKAY.

HEY, CASE.

SURPRISE!

"SURPRISE"?

YEAH! REMEMBER?

I TOLD YOU ON THE PHONE THAT I HAD A SURPRISE?

OH! DID YOU SAY THAT?

I'M CASEY.

[SQUEALS]: OH! CASEY! OMIGOD!

IT'S SO GREAT TO FINALLY MEET YOU!

DAVID HAS TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU!

HAS HE? OH, THAT'S FUNNY.

SOMETIMES, HE FORGETS TO MENTION THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS.

I KNOW, RIGHT?

DON'T WORRY. I'M GONNA FIX THAT.

CASEY, THIS IS CALI.

IT'S SHORT FOR "CALIFORNIA."

THAT'S WHERE I'M FROM.

CLEVER.

[GIGGLES]

DO I SMELL SOMETHING BURNING?

THE STEAKS!

OH!

OH... WOW.

CAN I GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THAT?

NO. NO, IT'S JUST A MINOR MEAT EMERGENCY.

ARE YOU SURE?

-BECAUSE IT-- -I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.

THANK YOU.

JUST NOT SURE IF THERE'S ENOUGH TO EAT NOW.

I'M A VEGETARIAN.

OH.

AND I'M ACTUALLY ON A NEW LOW-CARB DIET.

WELL, THAT SOLVES THAT.

DO YOU HAVE A BATHROOM?

IN THE HALL.

-OKAY. -UH-HUH.

SO I GUESS THIS WASN'T THE BEST WAY

TO SPRING THIS ON YOU?

[LAUGHS]

I JUST, WHEN YOU SAID "SURPRISE,"

I THOUGHT SOMETHING MORE LIKE

A NEW SUBSCRIPTION TO A PREACHER'S MAGAZINE.

I BLEW IT, DIDN'T I?

NO.

I'M JUST AFRAID THERE'S NOT ENOUGH FOOD.

I KNOW THAT SHE'S YOUNG,

BUT SHE'S REALLY NICE

AND I KNOW THAT YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE HER.

[CALI]: THERE'S-- THERE'S NO SOAP.

[WEARY SIGH]

[CALLS OUT]: ABOVE THE SINK!

I FEEL LIKE HER BABYSITTER.

COME ON, CASE.

ARE WE REALLY GONNA BEGRUDGE EACH OTHER A LITTLE HAPPINESS?

[♪♪♪]

THIS IS SO GREAT, CASE!

I CAN JUST TELL WE'RE GOING TO BE "BFF"S!

"BFFs"?

"BEST FRIENDS FOREVER."

I FORGOT THE DESSERT.

[♪♪♪]

SOME SURPRISE THAT WAS!

WELL, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?

IF HE DOESN'T KNOW YOU'RE INTERESTED IN HIM,

THEN HE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO LOOK AROUND.

I TRIED TO TELL HIM.

TRYING AND DOING ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

GOOD INTENTION WILL GET YOU

A DATELESS SATURDAY, AND NOT MUCH MORE.

WELL, IT'S TOO LATE NOW. HE'S SEEING SOMEONE.

DO YOU WANT DAVID OR NOT?

THAT'S UNETHICAL. I'M NOT A MAN-THIEF.

NO MAN HAS EVER BEEN STOLEN

THAT DIDN'T WANT TO BE.

YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP TRYING!

YEAH. WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER GIRL?

WELL, IF HE LIKES HER,

THEN NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY,

HE'LL STAY WITH HER.

HOW MUCH FURTHER ARE WE GONNA GO?

NOT MUCH MORE.

[BOTH WHEEZING]

DID YOU, UH, DID YOU GET YOUR INVITATION

FOR THE FUNDRAISER THING?

YEAH. I MAILED IN THE CHECK

AND THREW OUT THE INVITE.

THREW IT OUT?

YEAH.

WELL, YOU'RE GONNA DIG BACK IN THAT TRASH AND GET IT

'CAUSE YOU'RE TAKING HIM WITH YOU.

NOTHING LIKE A LITTLE BLACK-TIE DO

TO SPARK UP A LITTLE ROMANCE.

OH--

AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE YOU LOOKING SO CUTE,

THAT HE'S GONNA FORGET ALL ABOUT WHAT'S-HER-NAME.

REALLY? SEE?

THIS IS WHY IT'S SO GREAT YOU'RE IN MY LIFE.

YOU REALLY SIMPLIFY EVERYTHING.

WELL, IT IS SIMPLE.

YOU JUST LIKE TO COMPLICATE THINGS.

COME ON. ONE MORE MILE.

[HUMMING]

WHAT'S THE MATTER, HONEY?

THE CASH OFFERINGS ARE AT THE LOWEST YET.

MAYBE PEOPLE ARE VOTING WITH THEIR MONEY.

MAYBE OLIVIA TOMPKINS WAS RIGHT,

THAT PEOPLE ARE SO OUTRAGED BY MY PRESENCE IN THE PULPIT,

THAT THEY'RE WILLING TO DESTROY THEIR CHURCH.

MAYBE.

OR MAYBE SOMEBODY'S STEALING THE OFFERING.

ANGELIQUE...

YOU'RE A GENIUS!

YEAH, I'LL TAKE THAT.

[♪♪♪]

[LINE RINGS]

[DAVID]: HELLO?

DAVID, I NEED YOUR HELP.

THEY SELL WEB CAMERAS HERE?

YEAH. OUTDOOR SPORTSMEN USE THEM.

OH.

HI!

HI. WE ARE LOOKING FOR A MOTION-DETECTOR CAMERA.

SURE.

THIS HERE IS A GAME CAMERA.

A MOTION SENSOR TRIGGERS THE CAMERA TO RECORD

WHEN ACTIVATED.

HUNTERS USE THEM TO TRACK DEER.

WHAT ARE YOU STALKING?

A CHURCH DONATION BOX.

IT'S A LONG STORY.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE NEED.

WE'LL TAKE IT.

THANK YOU.

THANKS.

COOL.

SO, HOW PEEVED ARE YOU ABOUT DINNER?

NO, I'M NOT.

JUST HELP ME INSTALL THE CAMERA AND WE'LL CALL IT EVEN.

I KNOW YOU DON'T APPROVE OF CALI.

DAVID, IT'S YOUR LIFE.

I REALLY SHOULDN'T BE SO JUDGMENTAL.

I'M GLAD TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT.

ACTUALLY, UM,

DO YOU THINK CALI WOULD LET ME BORROW YOU SATURDAY EVENING?

I NEED AN ESCORT FOR THE FUNDRAISER.

ABSOLUTELY.

I'LL EVEN BREAK OUT MY OLD TUX FOR THE OCCASION.

HMM!

[♪♪♪]

[DAVID]: HEY, YOU KNOW THE CODE, RIGHT, CASE?

BECAUSE IF THE POLICE GET CALLED,

THE DOGS COME IN FIRST.

[CASEY]: YES, I KNOW THE CODE.

I WORK HERE, REMEMBER?

[DOOR OPENING]

ALL RIGHT, THERE'S THE OFFERING BOX.

OKAY...

WE WANT TO PUT IT SOMEWHERE WHERE...

SOMEWHERE WHERE WE CAN'T SEE IT.

HANG IT FROM UP HIGH.

THAT'S PROBABLY GOOD.

ALL RIGHT, SO, DO WE NEED A LADDER?

IT'S OKAY.

OH. OKAY. HOLD THIS.

HERE'S THE CAMERA.

CAMERA....

AND A COUPLE OF STRAPS.

THANKS.

DON'T DROP IT.

OKAY.

[♪♪♪]

NICE.

NOW SLIDE IT OVER.

AWESOME.

YEAH!

YEAH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.

OKAY, COME DOWN.

OOH.

[CASEY]: KISS HIM.

NO, NO, NO.

HE SHOULD KISS ME.

NO! THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!

-WE SHOULD GO. YEAH.

OKAY.

-AFTER YOU. -AFTER YOU.

-GOOD JOB. -YOU TOO.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

HEY.

HI!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

OH, GIRL. WELL...

I WANTED TO TELL YOU FIRST.

OH, PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU SIGNED US UP

FOR KUNG FU OR MILITARY BOOT CAMP.

OH, NOT YET. NO. NO, OKAY, SERIOUSLY.

I'M THINKING ABOUT MOVING OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

ON A MISSIONARY TRIP?

NO. TO TEACH.

YOU'RE LEAVING YOUR CHURCH?

VERY FUNNY.

NO. I'M SERIOUS.

WHAT?

COULD I HAVE SOME COFFEE, PLEASE?

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

YOU'VE MADE IT.

YOU'RE A SENIOR PASTOR AT A LARGE CHURCH.

YOU'RE-- I MEAN, YOU'RE WITH THE "IN" CROWD

AT THE MINISTER MEETINGS.

I DON'T SERVE GOD TO PROVE A POINT.

I SERVE GOD TO SERVE GOD, AND THIS IS...

THIS IS WHERE I FEEL I'M BEING LED.

IF YOU'RE SURE--

I AM.

THEN I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

[POURING COFFEE]

SO...

YEAH. WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON WITH YOU?

'CAUSE YOU'VE BEEN ACTING FUNNY LATELY.

WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING ME?

CASE.

COME OUT WITH IT.

I'M LEAVING, TOO.

WOW, THAT'S GREAT. YOU GOT A NEW JOB?

NO. I'M LEAVING THE MINISTRY.

I'M GOING TO LAW SCHOOL.

I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D BE A QUITTER.

I AM NOT QUITTING.

I'M SIMPLY CORRECTING MY COURSE.

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.

I'VE BEEN AGONIZING OVER THIS DECISION,

AND HERE YOU ARE, CONDEMNING ME,

AFTER YOU'VE JUST TOLD ME THAT YOU'RE LEAVING.

I'M NOT LEAVING,

I'M JUST GOING IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR CALL TO THE MINISTRY?

I MEAN, FOR THE PAST EIGHT YEARS,

YOU'VE BEEN PRETTY SURE.

YEAH, THAT WAS BEFORE

TWO CHURCHES CONVINCED ME OTHERWISE.

JUST BECAUSE THINGS AREN'T ALL SUNNY AND ROSY RIGHT NOW

DOES NOT MEAN YOU GIVE UP ON GOD'S CALLING FOR YOUR LIFE,

OR YOUR DREAMS.

I JUST...

I DON'T KNOW.

"TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART...

"AND LEAN NOT INTO THINE OWN UNDERSTANDING.

"AND IN ALL YOUR WAYS, ACKNOWLEDGE HIM,

AND HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATH STRAIGHT."

I AM FEELING RATHER CROOKED LATELY.

TOLD DAVID YET?

NOT YET.

WELL... I KNOW HE BELIEVES IN YOU,

AND YOU KNOW I BELIEVE IN YOU...

BUT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

YEAH.

[CHURCH BELL TOLLING]

CASEY?

CASEY!

WHAT IS IT?

YOU HAVE AN EMERGENCY PHONE CALL!

WHO IS IT?

THE HOSPITAL.

[SARAH GASPS]

SARAH, IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.

SHE'S A TOUGH ONE TO KEEP UNDER.

IS SHE GOING TO BE OKAY?

IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

WE'RE WAITING FOR RESULTS FROM THE M.R.I.

SHE'S HAVING T.I.A.S,

OR MINI-STROKES,

AND HER HIP MAY BE BROKEN FROM HER FALL.

[MONITOR BEEPING RHYTHMICALLY]

SHE'S GOING TO BE OUT FOR A WHILE.

[♪♪♪]

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD. I SHALL NOT WANT.

HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES.

HE LEADS ME BESIDE STILL WATERS AND RESTORES MY SOUL.

[♪♪♪]

I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF RONNIE

AS A BIG SISTER WITH ALL THE ANSWERS,

BUT I NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

SHE ASKED ME THE SCARIEST QUESTION

A MINISTER COULD ASK ANOTHER...

SHE SAID

IF WE'RE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING AS SACRED

AS BEING CALLED TO THE MINISTRY...

HOW CAN WE BE CERTAIN ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE?

SARAH?

I REALLY NEED YOU RIGHT NOW.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

SHE'S GONE.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

INTO YOUR HANDS, O LORD,

WE COMMIT OUR SISTER, SARAH.

ASHES TO ASHES,

DUST TO DUST,

IN SURE AND CERTAIN HOPE

OF THE RESURRECTION OF OUR LORD, JESUS CHRIST.

ARE THEY GOING TO TAKE HER AWAY IN THIS?

PROBABLY.

SHE WOULD HATE THAT.

CAN WE PUT A PRETTY ROBE ON HER?

OF COURSE.

[♪♪♪]

SARAH BROWN HAD

75 WONDERFUL, GRACE-FILLED YEARS.

I WAS DRAWN TO HER FROM THE MOMENT I MET HER.

SHE WAS ORDAINED AT A VERY YOUNG AGE

AND SHE HAD THIS GLOW THAT EMANATED FROM HER

AS IF SHE'D SEEN THE FACE OF GOD.

[VOICE TREMBLES]: SHE WAS MY COURAGE

AND MY WISDOM.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL DO WITHOUT HER.

[QUIET MURMURING]

[♪♪♪]

THANK YOU.

BYE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU.

-HEY. -HEY.

YOU GAVE SARAH A WONDERFUL EULOGY.

YEAH, YOU REALLY DID HER JUSTICE.

WE COULD REALLY TELL HOW MUCH YOU LOVED HER.

THAT WAS...

VERY NICE.

THANK YOU.

WE COULD GO TO THE MOVIES.

YEAH, OR YOU CAN COME HOME WITH ME,

AND WE COULD DEEP-CONDITION OUR HAIR,

OR DO SOME MANIS AND PEDIS?

YOU GUYS ARE SO SWEET,

BUT I THINK I JUST NEED TO BE ALONE RIGHT NOW.

[♪♪♪]

♪ GOODBYE ♪

♪ GOOD FRIEND ♪

♪ SEE YOU ♪

♪ SOMETIME ♪

♪ I CAN'T SAY WHEN ♪

♪ TIME WILL ♪

♪ BRING US TOGETHER AGAIN ♪

♪ TILL THEN ♪

♪ GOODBYE ♪

♪ GOOD FRIEND ♪

♪ AHH, AHH... ♪

♪ AHH AHH... ♪

♪ I CAN'T ♪

♪ SAY WHEN ♪

♪ TIME WILL ♪

♪ BRING US TOGETHER AGAIN ♪

♪ TILL THEN ♪ [DAVID]: HELLO?

HEY, DAVID. IT'S RONNIE. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M WELL, AND YOU?

GOOD, GOOD. I'M ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR CASE.

I CAN'T GET HER TO ANSWER HER PHONE.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

[KNOCKING LOUDER]

[TAPPING ON WINDOW]

[DOORBELL CHIMING]

HEY!

HEY.

YOU OKAY?

-CASE? -YEAH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

YOU'RE NOT ANSWERING YOUR PHONE.

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME

WHAT TIME I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET YOU TONIGHT.

YOU FORGOT?

THE FUNDRAISER.

I'M NOT GOING TO GO TO THAT.

I CAN'T.

I THINK YOU SHOULD.

I THINK... I THINK THAT YOU HAVE TO.

SARAH WOULD BE THE FIRST ONE TO TELL YOU--

LIFE GOES ON, CASEY.

YEAH.

THAT'S FINE. LIFE CAN GO ON.

I JUST NEED IT TO GO ON WITHOUT ME FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

YEAH, BUT IT DOESN'T.

I ALREADY CALLED RONNIE AND SHE'S GONNA COME OVER

IN A COUPLE HOURS TO HELP YOU GET READY.

I GUESS YOU GUYS DIDN'T REALLY LEAVE ME MUCH CHOICE.

WELL, YOU CAN'T STAND ME UP, HART.

[TAKES A DEEP BREATH, SIGHS]

OKAY.

YEAH?

OKAY.

OKAY.

I'LL...

I'LL MEET YOU THERE. SEE YOU AT 7:00.

GOOD.

[♪♪♪]

[BACKGROUND CHATTER]

[♪♪♪]

WOW. YOU LOOK AMAZING.

YOU DON'T LOOK SO BAD YOURSELF.

WE SHOULD GET YOU A DRINK.

OKAY.

WHAT'S UP?

I'M JUST THINKING.

ABOUT CHURCH TOMORROW?

NO.

OH, ABOUT CALI?

I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU.

DAVID...

[WORDS CATCH]

NOT HERE.

CASEY? WHAT'S GOING ON?

UM, THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT, DAVID.

OKAY.

I DIDN'T PLAN THIS.

WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME.

YES.

UH...

NO.

I WON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR GRIEVING.

I KNOW THAT YOU'RE HURTING, RIGHT NOW, CASE,

BUT THIS ISN'T THE ANSWER.

WHAT IF I WANT TO?

[SIGHS]

I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT NOW.

YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT?

WHEN HAVE YOU EVER?

YOU THOUGHT THAT A SMALL CHURCH WOULD SATISFY YOU,

BUT THE SECOND THAT THINGS GOT TOUGH,

YOU DIDN'T EVEN FIGHT, YOU RAN AWAY.

AND THEN YOU THOUGHT

THAT BEING AN ASSOCIATE WAS YOUR CALLING TO THE MINISTRY,

BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT THAT'S NOT IT,

AND NOW YOU AGREE TO THIS INTERIM THING, AND...

YOU'VE NEVER SHOWN FEELINGS FOR ME BEFORE.

YOU'RE FLAILING, CASE.

I AM NOT FLAILING.

AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW,

I'M DONE WITH MY SO-CALLED CAREER IN MINISTRY.

I'M QUITTING AT THE END OF SUMMER.

TO DO WHAT?

GO TO LAW SCHOOL.

LAW SCHOOL?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YEAH.

AND WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS?

WHEN THE TIME WAS RIGHT.

AS IN, RIGHT BEFORE SCHOOL STARTED?

I CAN'T BELIEVE

THAT YOU WOULD KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THAT FROM ME.

YEAH, WELL, I KNEW YOU WOULD JUDGE ME.

NO, YOU KNEW THAT I WOULD TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOD WANTS FOR YOU.

YOU'RE SQUANDERING YOUR GIFT

AND YOU ARE LATCHING ON TO WHATEVER'S HANDY,

HOPING THAT IT'S GONNA MAKE YOU HAPPY.

I'M NOT WILLING TO BE A GUY THAT IS HANDY.

WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER WAY TOO LONG FOR THAT.

YOU MEAN TOO MUCH TO ME.

SO YOU DON'T WANT ME.

NOT LIKE THIS.

NO.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[KNOCKING]

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

YOU HAVE A VISITOR.

SHE SAYS SHE'S DAVID'S FRIEND.

HI! HI, CASEY!

CALI.

HI. THIS IS A SURPRISE.

UM, I NEED-- I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY ABOUT DAVID.

SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS HIM.

DO YOU MIND?

ACTUALLY, I'M REALLY BUSY RIGHT NOW.

OH, YOU'RE JUST EATING, RIGHT?

GO AHEAD.

YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME.

WHAT'S THIS?

THIS IS A SECURITY CAMERA.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND, CALI?

UM, WELL...

DAVID BROKE UP WITH ME.

DAVID BROKE UP WITH YOU?

I-I DON'T KNOW WHY. HE SAID IT WASN'T WORKING.

I DON'T KNOW WHY IT WASN'T WORKING.

I MEAN, IT WAS-- IT WAS WORKING FOR ME.

I THINK MAYBE THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE.

I THINK THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE.

YOU WOULD KNOW, RIGHT, CASEY, IF THERE WAS SOMEONE?

HE HASN'T MENTIONED SOMEONE ELSE.

WILL YOU TALK TO HIM FOR ME?

CONVINCE HIM WE BELONG TOGETHER?

NO, CALI.

I CAN'T BE THE THIRD SIDE IN THIS TRIANGLE.

YOU NEED TO TALK TO DAVID YOURSELF.

[GASPS]

IT'S YOU.

ISN'T IT?

I KNEW IT!

YOU WANT HIM ALL FOR YOURSELF.

NO, CALI, IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.

[THUMPS TABLE]

IT IS.

SOME FRIEND YOU TURNED OUT TO BE.

SOME MINISTER!

CALI, I'M SO SORRY.

[PHONE RINGS]

[SIGHS]

HELLO. PASTOR HART'S OFFICE.

[♪♪♪]

OLIVIA.

WHAT IN THE WORLD...

[ANGELIQUE]: CASEY? IT'S OLIVIA.

[CASEY]: I KNOW. WHAT DOES SHE WANT NOW?

SOME MORE SALAD DRESSING, OR JUST SOMEONE TO PESTER?

SHE WAS ATTACKED.

SHE'S BEEN TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL.

MY GOSH! WHAT HAPPENED?

SOME PUNK IN THE GROCERY STORE PARKING LOT

PUSHED HER DOWN AND TRIED TO STEAL HER PURSE.

IS SHE STILL IN THE HOSPITAL?

IS SHE HURT BAD?

SHE'S AT HOME RESTING NOW.

HER HOUSEKEEPER CALLED AND ASKED

IF SOMEBODY COULD PICK UP HER PAIN MEDS.

ALICE DOESN'T DRIVE,

SO I JUST THOUGHT I'D TAKE THE CAR MYSELF.

I'LL GO.

YOU WILL?

WELL, YEAH, I MEAN, I DON'T LIKE HER,

BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN I HATE HER.

I CERTAINLY DON'T WISH ILL ON HER.

[♪♪♪]

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

OH, GOOD MORNING, PASTOR.

HI, ALICE. I BROUGHT MISS TOMPKINS' PRESCRIPTIONS.

HOW'S SHE FEELING?

OH, SHE'S DOING BETTER.

SHE'S IN HER BEDROOM. LET ME WALK YOU UP.

[♪♪♪]

OLIVIA? IT'S PASTOR HART.

WELL, DON'T JUST STAND THERE.

COME IN.

[CASEY]: HERE'S WHAT THEY DON'T TELL YOU

IN DIVINITY SCHOOL.

YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR PARISHIONERS,

EVEN THE SNARKY, OBNOXIOUS ONES.

DID YOU BRING MY PAIN PILLS OR NOT?

YEAH. THEY'RE RIGHT HERE.

[GRUMBLES]

I CAN'T TAKE THEM WITHOUT WATER.

YOU MAY AS WELL MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL.

[CASEY]: THEY DON'T TELL YOU

THOSE IMPERFECT FOLKS SITTING IN THE PEW

WILL WORM THEIR WAY INTO YOUR HEART.

[PILLS RATTLE]

THANK YOU.

GO DOWNSTAIRS AND TELL ALICE

TO BRING UP MY MAGAZINES.

WE NEED TO TALK.

I'M HARDLY IN ANY CONDITION FOR A TETE-A-TETE.

IT'S ABOUT THE MISSING OFFERINGS.

THIS IS THE HARDLY THE TIME.

I THINK RIGHT NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME.

I KNOW YOU TOOK THE MONEY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

JUST WAIT UNTIL THE PERSONNEL COMMITTEE MEETS AGAIN.

YOU SHOULD'VE RESIGNED LONG AGO,

AND NEXT TIME, I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU DO.

YOU TOOK THE MONEY

SO IT WOULD LOOK LIKE PEOPLE WERE PROTESTING AGAINST ME.

WHY, OLIVIA?

DO YOU REALLY HATE ME THAT MUCH?

IT'S NOT RIGHT.

MINISTERS SHOULD BE MEN.

ESPECIALLY SENIOR PASTORS.

I'M A TEMPORARY FIX.

YOU REALLY COULDN'T HANDLE A WOMAN MINISTER

JUST FOR A FEW MONTHS?

IF IT'S WRONG, IT'S WRONG.

RIGHT.

SOME VERY FAITHFUL, VERY CHRISTIAN PEOPLE

DON'T THINK IT'S WRONG AT ALL.

IF IT WAS WRONG IN MY DAY,

IT'S WRONG NOW!

OLIVIA...

DID YOU HAVE A CALL TO BE A MINISTER?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

YOU DID, DIDN'T YOU?

WHAT DID THEY SAY?

[SOBS QUIETLY]

THEY SAID

THAT SATAN

WAS TEMPTING ME AWAY FROM MARRIAGE AND MOTHERHOOD.

WELL, I'VE HAD PRECIOUS LITTLE OF ONE

AND NONE OF THE OTHER.

THEY SAID IT WAS WRONG, THAT I WAS WRONG.

AND THEY WERE RIGHT.

I WAS WRONG TO THINK THAT I COULD EVER BE A MINISTER.

WHAT IF THEY WERE WRONG?

I'M TIRED.

GO AWAY NOW.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

-CASEY-- -HELLO.

WE NEED TO TALK.

OLIVIA CALLED. SHE TOLD ME EVERYTHING.

OH.

OH, GOOD. SO YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING

TO THE CASH OFFERINGS, THEN?

YEAH.

WELL, I'M SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO KEEP IT A SECRET ANYMORE.

I TELL YOU WHAT.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU NEEDED MONEY,

YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO THE COMMITTEE.

EXCUSE ME?

WELL, I TOLD YOU,

OLIVIA SAID THAT YOU'D CONFESSED EVERYTHING TO HER.

DID SHE?

WELL, I REALLY MUST HAVE OVERESTIMATED THE PAINKILLERS

AND UNDERESTIMATED THE WOMAN.

SHE ALSO SET A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF CHRISTIAN CHARITY.

SHE SAID THAT WE SHOULDN'T CALL THE POLICE,

AS LONG AS YOU AGREED TO RESIGN AND GO QUIETLY.

WHAT?

LOOK, I THINK YOU SHOULD RETURN THE MONEY.

I DIDN'T STEAL THE MONEY, ED!

I NEVER EXPECTED THIS OF YOU, CASEY.

WELL, I'M GLAD

THAT MY ALLEGED KLEPTOMANIA COMES AS A SHOCK TO YOU.

ALLEGED?

LOOK, IT'S TOO LATE FOR DENIAL.

I'VE ALREADY CALLED AN EMERGENCY MEETING

OF THE PERSONNEL COMMITTEE FOR FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING.

[♪♪♪]

KNOCKS] -HELLO?

YOU HAVE A VISITOR.

ANGELIQUE, I REALLY CAN'T--

OH.

THIS IS A SURPRISE.

CAN I COME IN?

SURE, YEAH. COME IN.

HOW'VE YOU BEEN?

IS THIS A TRICK QUESTION?

LOOK, ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT--

THE SECURITY CAMERA WORKED.

EXCEPT FOR NOW OLIVIA TOMPKINS

IS BLAMING ME FOR TAKING THE OFFERINGS.

AND OLIVIA'S THE REAL CULPRIT AFTER ALL?

VERY ASTUTE.

WE NEED TO TALK.

DO WE? REALLY?

I MEAN, I'D RATHER JUST

PRETEND SATURDAY NIGHT NEVER HAPPENED.

WELL, IF WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT,

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MOVE PAST IT?

YOU'RE NOT PAST IT?

[SIGHS] I SWEAR...

YOU CAN RUN AWAY EVEN WHEN YOU'RE STANDING STILL.

WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A CALL

WHEN YOU'RE READY TO TALK, OKAY, CASE?

[♪♪♪]

BYE.

[♪♪♪]

[CASEY, QUIETLY]: OKAY, SARAH.

I COULD REALLY USE SOME WORDS RIGHT NOW.

[CASEY SIGHS]

MATTHEW 5:11--

"BLESSED ARE YOU WHEN PEOPLE INSULT YOU,

"PERSECUTE YOU,

"AND FALSELY SAY ALL KINDS OF EVIL AGAINST YOU,

BECAUSE OF ME."

NO. THAT'S NOT RIGHT.

LET'S SEE.

WHATCHA GOT HERE?

PROVERBS 20:1--

"WINE IS A MOCKER, BEER IS A BRAWLER.

WHOEVER IS LED ASTRAY BY THEM..."

OH.

SILLY.

[♪♪♪]

TIMOTHY 6:12.

"FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT

"FOR THE TRUE FAITH.

"HOLD TIGHTLY TO THE ETERNAL LIFE

TO WHICH GOD HAS CALLED YOU."

[♪♪♪]

THANK YOU, SARAH.

THAT'S THE ONE.

THANK YOU.

[BREATHES DEEPLY, EXHALES]

[INDISTINCT BACKGROUND EXCHANGE]

TA-DAH.

[COMMITTEE CHUCKLING]

WELCOME.

HERE. SIT.

-NEED A HAND? -NO.

SHALL WE BEGIN?

-[OLIVIA CRIES OUT IN PAIN] -OH, OH.

SHALL WE BEGIN?

CASEY, WOULD YOU CARE TO START US IN A PRAYER?

SURE.

ALMIGHTY FATHER, WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR GUIDANCE.

WE ASK YOU TO BE WITH US IN THIS MEETING TODAY. AMEN.

[OVERLAPPING]: AMEN.

I KNOW WHO TOOK THE OFFERINGS.

[OLIVIA]: WE ALL KNOW, CASEY.

YOUR CONFESSION COMES A LITTLE LATE.

WE WANT YOUR RESIGNATION.

OBVIOUSLY, IT WASN'T ME.

THAT'S NOT OBVIOUS TO ANYONE.

WELL, I'VE BEEN MONITORING THE SACRISTY

WITH THIS SURVEILLANCE CAMERA.

IT WAS ONE OF OUR CHURCH MEMBERS.

I'D RATHER NOT SAY WHO,

BECAUSE I DO BELIEVE

THAT THEY WILL RETURN THE MONEY TO ME,

AND THAT IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

AND YOU EXPECT US

TO BELIEVE THIS OUTRAGEOUS STORY?

WELL, YES, BECAUSE I HAVE VIDEO FOOTAGE.

I THINK WE PROBABLY NEED TO SEE IT.

[CASEY]: I'M WILLING TO FORGIVE THE CULPRIT

AND GIVE THEM A NEW START,

BECAUSE I BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT JESUS WOULD DO.

I BELIEVE IN FORGIVENESS,

AND I'D LIKE TO PRACTICE THAT.

YOU ALL CHOSE ME TO FILL PASTOR BLACK'S SHOES,

AND I'D LIKE YOU TO HONOR THAT CHOICE,

AND I EXPECT YOU TO TRUST ME

AS SENIOR PASTOR.

UM...

WELL, AS I'M SURE

WE WOULD ALL LIKE TO AVOID ANY MAJOR SCANDAL,

IT APPEARS AN UNKNOWN PERSON STOLE THE MONEY

AND THEN THEY RETURNED IT.

-THEY DID. -AND THEY WON'T DO IT AGAIN.

RIGHT.

THAT IS CORRECT.

GOOD.

UH, THE PROPERTY COMMITTEE

WILL LOOK INTO IMPROVING SECURITY, BUT, UH...

AS IT STANDS,

THIS COMMITTEE HAS NOTHING TO ACT ON.

WELL, THEN,

I GUESS WE SHOULD JUST ADJOURN.

UH, ACTUALLY--

THERE IS ONE MORE THING THAT WE NEED TO DISCUSS.

THIS INCIDENT HAS BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION

THAT WE NEED A MORE STRUCTURED AGREEMENT

ON MY NEW ROLE AS SENIOR MINISTER HERE.

I AM ASKING FOR CONFIDENCE IN MY MINISTRY,

A 25% PAY RAISE,

AND A ONE-YEAR CONTRACT.

AND I'D LIKE YOU TO GIVE ME AN ANSWER TODAY.

THERE, THAT'S DONE.

[♪♪♪]

I BELIEVE CASEY'S REQUESTS ARE REASONABLE.

AND AS THE LARGEST CONTRIBUTOR IN THIS CONGREGATION,

I SUGGEST WE DO AS SHE SAYS.

THE LARGEST CONTRIB--?

YOU'RE THE LARGEST? I THOUGHT--?

WE THOUGHT IT WAS...

[♪♪♪]

CONGRATULATIONS, CASEY.

THANK YOU, MARJORIE.

YES.

CONGRATULATIONS, CASEY.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

OH, HI, CASEY.

I CAN DO THIS LATER.

[♪♪♪]

HI, SARAH.

I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.

I FEEL SILLY TALKING TO AN EMPTY ROOM, BUT...

IT FEELS GOOD TO SAY IT OUT LOUD.

A GOOD LAWYER...

WOULD HAVE PROSECUTED OLIVIA.

AND ENJOYED DOING IT.

BUT... [SNIFFS]

THAT'S NOT ME.

THAT'S NOT MY CALLING.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS MY TICKET TO HAPPINESS.

I WAS WRONG.

[SNIFFLES]

GRANT ME FAITH, O LORD.

[TAKES A DEEP BREATH]

GOOD MORNING, OLIVIA.

-IS IT? -MM-HMM.

THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?

YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT.

AREN'T YOU GOING TO OPEN IT?

WHY?

I KNOW WHAT'S IN IT.

A REQUEST FOR ME TO RESIGN MY MEMBERSHIP IN THE CHURCH

AND A POSSIBLE ADMONITION

TO BE GRATEFUL YOU'RE NOT TURNING ME INTO THE POLICE.

COME ON. OPEN IT UP AND SEE.

[GRUDGING SIGH] AHEM.

THIS ISN'T FUNNY, PASTOR.

NO, IT'S NOT.

IT'S FAR TOO LATE.

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE.

YOU'VE CHAIRED ALMOST EVERY COMMITTEE IN THE CHURCH,

RUN THE WOMEN'S AUXILIARY AND WERE THE TREASURER.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

I'LL LOOK LIKE A FOOL.

WE ALL LOOK A FOOL ONE TIME OR ANOTHER.

YOU'D BE IN GOOD COMPANY.

[♪♪♪]

THANK YOU.

NO.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME REMEMBER AND APPRECIATE MY...

OUR CALLING

TO SERVE GOD IN THE CHURCH MINISTRY.

[♪♪♪]

[QUIET CHUCKLE]

AHEM. ALRIGHT.

[♪♪♪]

-HEY! -[KNOCKS]

HI! I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.

I'M LEAVING NEXT WEEK.

SO YOU GOT YOUR ASSIGNMENT?

WELL, I ACTUALLY, UH, I'M GOING TO SOUTH AFRICA.

I'M TEACHING AT A SCHOOL FOR A.I.D.S. ORPHANS.

RONNIE, THAT'S AMAZING!

I KNOW!

THEY ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.

I'M GOING TO REALLY MISS YOU.

I'M GOING TO MISS YOU, TOO.

MM.

OKAY, SO, WHAT WERE YOU DRINKING

WHEN YOU CAME UP WITH THIS PLAN?

-OH-- -BELL TOWER?

I KNOW. I KNOW, IT'S CRAZY,

BUT IT'S TIME, I HAVE TO TELL HIM.

SO, COME ON, WILL YOU HELP ME?

-ABSOLUTELY. -OKAY. COME ON.

[RONNIE]: GIRL, THIS IS CRAZY!

WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST DO THINGS THE NORMAL WAY?

FOR A GOOD REASON-- SO I DON'T RUN AWAY.

ALSO, WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING

THE NORMAL WAY?

DOES ANGELIQUE AT LEAST KNOW TO SEND HIM?

MM-HMM. WISH ME LUCK.

OKAY. YOU'RE CUTE. BE CAREFUL!

I'M GONNA GO MAKE SURE DAVID FINDS YOU.

-ALRIGHT. -ALRIGHT? GOOD LUCK!

THANKS!

[♪♪♪]

CASE?

[♪♪♪]

I'M UP HERE!

CASEY, WHAT IS GOING ON?

I JUST DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO FIND US.

WHO IN HEAVEN'S NAME IS GONNA FIND US UP HERE?

[♪♪♪]

IF YOU'RE GOING THROUGH SOME SORT

OF MIDLIFE CRISIS,

THEN JUST SAY SO.

MAYBE YOU JUST NEEDED

THE NEAREST AVAILABLE SAFE GUY

FOR WHATEVER DRAMA'S GOT YOU IN ITS THROES,

BUT YOU HAVE TO DEAL, CASE.

YOU ACTUALLY THINK

THIS IS SOME SORT OF

HORMONALLY-CHARGED MIDLIFE CRISIS?

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?

YES, I DO.

I LOVE YOU.

THERE. I SAID IT.

I LOVE YOU, I'VE LOVED YOU

FROM THE MOMENT I TRIPPED OVER YOUR GINORMOUS FEET

IN DIVINITY SCHOOL ORIENTATION,

AND JUST I DIDN'T KNOW IT UNTIL THAT NIGHT AT KARAOKE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

BECAUSE I WAS SCARED.

OF ME?

OF REJECTION.

I GUESS IT WAS MORE ABOUT ME THAN YOU.

I TOLD YOU HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU, AND...

WHAT DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ME?

I ADORE YOU.

I'VE ADORED YOU PRETTY MUCH FROM THE MOMENT THAT I MET YOU.

"ADORE" LIKE "CUTE KITTEN" SORT OF ADORE,

OR LIKE, "YOU'RE A GODDESS. I ADORE YOU."?

THE SECOND ONE.

[♪♪♪]

[SHRIEKING]: HALLELUJAH! WHOO!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]

[ORGAN RISES]

["BRIDAL CHORUS" PLAYS]

[♪♪♪]

[CASEY]: NO.

I'M NOT PERFORMING MY OWN WEDDING CEREMONY.

NEXT TO ME, DAVID STANDS TALL AND HANDSOME.

HE AND I ARE SHARING THE HONORS,

OFFICIATING THE SERVICE

FOR THE COUPLE STANDING BEFORE US.

WHO BRINGS THIS WOMAN TO BE MARRIED TO THIS MAN?

HER MOM AND I DO.

GOOD LUCK.

AND NOW, DAVID AND CASEY

CAN JOIN HANDS--

OH.

OOPS.

[DAVID CHUCKLES]

[CASEY]: I AM AMAZED WHEN I THINK BACK

OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS

HOW MY LIFE HAS CHANGED.

I GOT THE FEELING THE FOLKS AT LAW SCHOOL

SEEM RELIEVED BY MY DECISION NOT TO MATRICULATE THERE.

I'VE TAKEN OLIVIA TO VISIT THE DIVINITY SCHOOL

AND MEET A FEW OF THE PROFESSORS.

I DROVRONNIE TO THE AIRPORT.

AND AS FOR DAVID...

LET'S JUST SAY WE'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT

HOW YOU GO FROM BEING BEST FRIENDS

TO BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND.

IT'S PERHAPS THE FIRST TIME

THESE WALLS HAVE WITNESSED

THIS KIND OF MINISTERIAL MISCONDUCT.

WITH ANY LUCK, IT WON'T BE THE LAST.

[♪♪♪]