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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:40,324 - I swear, if'n you don't learn to share this honey... 2 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,594 I'm gonna give you a real whuppin: 3 00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:45,967 Now go on! 4 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:03,355 - Is the doctor in? - No doubt about it. 5 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:07,415 - What's ailin' ya, Fat Elmer? - I et too much cheese. 6 00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,427 Now I can't burp. 7 00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,897 Can ya fix me, Granny? 8 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:06,049 Dang. 9 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:28,260 Before I sign anything... 10 00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:30,802 I want to know how much money we're talkin' about. 11 00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:32,803 Mr. Clampett, there's more petroleum in your swamp... 12 00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:35,635 than there is in all of Kuwait. 13 00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,903 - That bad, huh? - Mr. Clampett... 14 00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:43,449 you are sitting on the biggest domestic oil strike in history. 15 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:47,451 And when you sign these contracts, we're going to pay you one billion dollars. 16 00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:52,956 Do you have anybody who can advise you on these contracts? 17 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,892 Cousin jethro's a-comin'tomorrow night for Sunday supper, Pa. 18 00:04:57,997 --> 00:05:01,160 He's the one with the learnin'. He went to school at Oxford. 19 00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:17,049 - Jethro. - Yes, Ma? 20 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,414 Did you fix those bare-as-bones brakes like I told you? 21 00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:22,420 Of course. I pulled 'em off yesterday. 22 00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,650 The new ones are comin' in the mail next week. 23 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,940 - Jethro! - Howdy, Granny. 24 00:05:43,042 --> 00:05:46,500 Oh! You dadblamed simpleminded yahoo! 25 00:05:46,612 --> 00:05:50,104 Your crack-bucket head's emptier than last year's bird's nest. 26 00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:52,980 If your head was filled with dynamite... 27 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,986 - Ow! Ow! - You wouldn't know how to blow your nose! 28 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,079 - You... - Ow! 29 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,215 - Granny! Ow! Granny! - Just get out of my sight! 30 00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:03,892 Now, jedediah... 31 00:06:03,996 --> 00:06:06,396 you're fixin' to be the richest man in this here county. 32 00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:11,801 Look at how you live. Why, your land's overrun with snakes and skunks. 33 00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:15,237 You got no TV, no telephone and no radio. 34 00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:20,804 You're right, Pearl. We are a-livin'in paradise. 35 00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:24,405 No, Jed! Paradise is someplace like... 36 00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,417 Beverly Hills, Californy. 37 00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:29,079 - They got swimmin'pools. - Mm-hmm. 38 00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,486 - And movie stars. - And smog. 39 00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:34,560 What's a smog? 40 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:42,963 I reckon it's a small hog. 41 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:47,096 Now, if you're not gonna think about yourself, think about your daughter. 42 00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:50,403 You need to get remarried, jed, and she needs a ma... 43 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,740 someone to teach her womanly ways. 44 00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:57,407 - She's runnin'wild, jed. She's no different than a boy. 45 00:06:57,517 --> 00:07:01,613 Imagine that. Elly May wearin'fancy dresses... 46 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:04,588 and actin' ladylike! 47 00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:08,649 Well, that don't sound like much fun. 48 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:15,462 Beverly Hills. 49 00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,798 Listen to what I'm sayin: jed. 50 00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:22,374 It would be the best thing for y'all. 51 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:25,911 Just pack up all your belongin's and move on out there. 52 00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:29,948 Jethro could drive you out in his truck. 53 00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:33,883 I ain't drivin' in no movin' vehicle with no dunderhead. 54 00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:36,011 I ain't no dunderhead. 55 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:41,326 - Come on! Put me down! - Set him down. 56 00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:48,325 - See what I mean? - Who are you, mister? 57 00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:51,665 Ozark Mountain Oil. Mr. Briggs sent me to see if you'd signed the contract. 58 00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:53,864 - Oh, my. - Elly May Clampett. 59 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,572 Well, that's it. 60 00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,645 I've made my decision. 61 00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,845 For the good of this here family... 62 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,009 I'm a-movin' us to Beverly Hills. 63 00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:13,218 Now, don't you worry, Elly May. 64 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:17,558 - We gonna take good care of your critters for ya. - Okay, Sam. I know you will. 65 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,825 Oh, Ma! 66 00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:32,103 What's all this I hear about you not wantin' to go to Californy? 67 00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,441 I like it here. Say what you will... 68 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:37,778 but there ain't nothin' you can do to get me off of this rockin' chair. 69 00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:42,947 - I ain't goin' nowheres! Cut me loose! - It's a long ride to Californy. 70 00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:46,081 Jedediah Clampett, I'm gonna skin you alive! 71 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,752 Hush up, Granny. 72 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,954 Get goin', boy, before she breaks loose. 73 00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:52,928 I ain't a-goin:! 74 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:13,318 Watch your head, Granny. 75 00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:37,373 There's so many people in this here town. 76 00:09:37,476 --> 00:09:40,775 Goin' to take a long time to meet everybody. 77 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,781 Hey! Nice wheels, buddy! 78 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:49,150 - Jethro, why do you think that feller's pointin' at us? 79 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,452 I reckon that's the way they wave "howdy" in Californy. 80 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,629 - Has, uh... - Uh.! Excuse us.! 81 00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:01,757 Has escrow closed on the Clampett estate? 82 00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:05,200 Yes, chief. With an offer of 22 million in cash, it closed swiftly. 83 00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:07,204 And I must say, it is inspirational... 84 00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:10,139 how you happened to find a place for the Clampetts right next-door to your own. 85 00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:12,142 Hathaway, the people who lived there... 86 00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:14,838 were my best friends and neighbors for over 20 years. 87 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,881 It's a shame they had to file for bankruptcy. 88 00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:22,148 Yeah. I just hope my call to the I.R.S. didn't have anything to do with it. Well. 89 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:31,859 - Now, um, what time does their fight arrive? - That's just it, chief. 90 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,023 - They're driving. - Driving? 91 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,794 From Arkansas? 92 00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:38,131 I know it makes no sense whatsoever. 93 00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:40,535 Not to you, perhaps. 94 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,870 But to a man with vision, like myself... 95 00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:47,378 - That is a sign of daring, self-confidence, vigor. - Of course, chief. 96 00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,347 Hmm. Doesn't he look busy at work. 97 00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:55,545 Tyler. 98 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,818 - Would you step in here for a moment, please. - Oh! 99 00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:04,760 - Geez. - It's an earthquake.! 100 00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:09,892 Oh. 101 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:26,680 - You wanted to consult with me? - Sit down, Tyler. Relax. 102 00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:31,782 I have heard that you are quite excited about the arrival of the Clampetts. 103 00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:34,519 I think that you and I, together... 104 00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:38,723 can fully exploit the potential of the Clampett financial portfolio. 105 00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:41,391 Hmm. 106 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,765 You and I. The two of us. 107 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,896 I've already taken the liberty of drawing up the power of attorney papers. 108 00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:51,602 - Have you now? - So I can write checks, arrange investments... 109 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,872 make international transactions. 110 00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,573 - Really work the Clampett account. - Hmm. 111 00:11:56,682 --> 00:11:58,206 We'll be quite the team, sir. 112 00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:00,478 Mmm. 113 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,289 Tyler, you will personally rescind, shred and burn... 114 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,258 every paper you have drawn up with regard to the Clampett account. 115 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:13,389 - I'll be handling that account personally. - Duly noted. 116 00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,660 And nice kick, sir. 117 00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:17,793 Took me completely by surprise. 118 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,139 Tyler. 119 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:25,802 - The Clampetts will not be badgered. - Sir? 120 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:28,675 They are not your common garden-variety millionaires. 121 00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:32,649 They are, in fact, billionaires. 122 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:37,121 By definition, people of, uh, discrimination... 123 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:40,590 discernment, great refinement. 124 00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:45,628 Boy, howdy.! 125 00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:49,596 Hey! Jethro, we's supposed to go thataway. 126 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:03,472 Hey! You cut us off, you bunch of nothin's! 127 00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,847 That's real nice, son. 128 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,855 This here's what I carry. 129 00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:15,492 Okay. Go! Go, go! 130 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,099 Margaret! 131 00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:26,404 Morgan, come in here a minute, please. 132 00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:29,838 Hi. I'm Doug Llewelyn, and welcome to the People's Court. 133 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,342 Where is your mother? 134 00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:34,412 She's changing. 135 00:13:34,513 --> 00:13:36,913 That would be too much to hope for. 136 00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:40,110 - Oh. - Milburn, I'm sorry. I have to cancel our lunch. 137 00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:43,382 - What? - I have to spend more quality time with Babette. 138 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:48,722 Margaret, dear, we are trying to do more things together... put the spark back, remember? 139 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,194 You claim the defendant has your dog? 140 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,197 - Um, well, actually... - Yes or no? 141 00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:55,824 - Yes, we do. - Morgan. Morgan. - It's my dog. 142 00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:59,166 - It's your dog? - Yes. I raised this dog from a pup, and due to... 143 00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,740 Morgan, I have a little job for you. 144 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,746 - Ajob? - Yes. J.D. Clampett has a daughter your age. 145 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,975 Now, she's goin' to high school with you. 146 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,983 I want you to show her around. 147 00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:15,781 - Just be her friend. - Oh, man. 148 00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:18,322 You wanna pay me to hang out with her? 149 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,655 She must be a major bowwow. 150 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,728 Son. 151 00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:25,854 Morgan. 152 00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:28,297 Close your eyes. 153 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,630 Close your eyes. 154 00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:32,704 Now picture this. 155 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:34,705 I cut off your allowance... 156 00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,707 Cancel your credit cards... 157 00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:38,936 And delete you from my will. 158 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:42,070 Now, how do you see your future? 159 00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,809 Grilling frozen cow parts at Burger King? 160 00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:50,015 And people say you're stupid. 161 00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:52,454 Monday morning, first period, 8:00 a. M... 162 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,719 she'll be like the little sister Mom thought would ruin her figure. 163 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,961 - The dog will go to the plaintiff, Rusty. 164 00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:28,084 Honey, I'm home. 165 00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:31,788 Why don't you come here and give your little embezzling cowboy a ride around the bungalow. 166 00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:34,491 - No. - Why not? 167 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,798 'Cause I'm still living in this dump when I should be living in a mansion in Beverly Hills. 168 00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:41,134 Laura, sweetheart. 169 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,437 Bungalows 3A, 3B and 3C are in Los Angeles. 170 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:48,035 We live in 3G which, technically, is in Beverly Hills. 171 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,944 You're all talk, Tyler. 172 00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:52,108 You said we'd have enough money this month... 173 00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:54,708 to buy me that little baby sealskin coat. 174 00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:58,153 - We will. - Promises, promises. 175 00:15:58,257 --> 00:16:00,157 Sweetie, we will. 176 00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:03,695 J.D. Clampett, the billionaire, just opened up an account at the bank. 177 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,889 Who is this Clampett guy? 178 00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:08,466 If he's so rich, how come I've never heard of him? 179 00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:12,298 Baby cakes, this guy's got more money than he knows what to do with. 180 00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:15,498 Now, that's a problem I think we can help him with. 181 00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,912 Stop the car, Jethro! 182 00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,915 They's a fresh kill in the road. 183 00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,178 - Can't just leave it there. - You're right, Granny. 184 00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,811 Roadkill stew sounds mighty good right now. 185 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,984 Oh, no, you don't, you old coot! I seen it first! 186 00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:38,586 - Milburn, call Westec Security. - Well, I... 187 00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:40,688 I'm sure there's enough for us all. 188 00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:43,529 Eww! How revolting. 189 00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:46,695 Easy now, Granny. They're probablyjust bein'neighborly... 190 00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:49,740 like them nice folks we met on that extry-wide road. 191 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,106 Well, let's give 'em a Californy howdy. 192 00:16:53,545 --> 00:16:56,105 - Howdy, y'all.! - Howdy.! 193 00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:59,184 Milburn! 194 00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:01,252 Did you fip me off? 195 00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:40,149 You reckon we're at the wrong spot, UncleJed? 196 00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:43,160 Could be. Don't know. 197 00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:45,890 It's the right address, Pa. 198 00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,990 Whee doggies! 199 00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:31,267 The whole place looks brand-new. 200 00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:35,872 Hey, UncleJed, there's a whole 'nother house up here. 201 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,554 This is a big ol'house. 202 00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:46,180 Why do you reckon they got two sets of steps? 203 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,384 That's easy. 204 00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,894 One's for goin' up. The other's for goin' down. 205 00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:53,055 Oh. 206 00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:58,666 What a pretty critter. 207 00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:01,170 Hello, police? This is Miss Jane Hathaway. 208 00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:03,241 I wish to report the unlawful entry... 209 00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:05,970 of a gang of armed and dangerous hooligans at the Clampett estate. 210 00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:08,842 518 Crestview Drive. 211 00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:13,680 - I need you here code three, and I will be timing you. 212 00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:16,652 I think you got you a new friend, Duke. 213 00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,550 Cease and desist.! Everyone.! 214 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,424 If I were you, sir, I would yield, submit and capitulate. 215 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:28,728 What are you desperadoes doing here? 216 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:32,565 - Well, it's a mighty long story. - But he don't mind tellin' it. 217 00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:36,334 - Pa was a-huntin' one day with old Duke. - Duke spotted this jackrabbit. 218 00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:40,036 - So I throws up my gun, and I takes my aim... - Don't shoot! 219 00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:42,511 Pardon, ma'am? 220 00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:49,484 Two minutes and 46 seconds. 221 00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:55,083 Go.! Go.! Go.! 222 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,962 I need three men over there on the south side.! 223 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,094 Attention, inside.! You're surrounded.! 224 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,968 Drop your weapons and file out one at a time.! 225 00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:11,634 - Don't shoot! Oh! They've taken me hostage! - Attention, inside.! 226 00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:15,144 Drop your weapons and file out one at a time! 227 00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:17,374 This is the Beverly Hills Police Department. 228 00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:19,382 Told you this warn't no house. 229 00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:23,045 - You heard him. It's the police department. - This is your last warning.! 230 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:26,056 All right! Fire one in! 231 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,793 Look. 232 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,556 They's a-playin' kick the can. 233 00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:48,012 Move in! 234 00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:54,584 I knew we shouldn't have never left home. I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! 235 00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:57,655 Right this way. We've I.D. 'd them all. 236 00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:01,157 - Excellent. - We want the wheels of justice to spin quickly. 237 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,820 These criminals must be prosecuted and incarcerated... 238 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,829 before our client finds out what happened. 239 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,922 Exactly. 240 00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:11,332 The reputation of Milburn Drysdale is at stake. 241 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:14,064 Would everyone turn to the right, please. 242 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:18,868 Huh.! Hmm.! Pathetic. 243 00:21:18,977 --> 00:21:22,105 Now we have, starting on the left, a Jedediah Clampett. 244 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,205 - Then, next to him, his daughter, Elly May. - Huh? 245 00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:28,343 And a Daisy Mae Moses, a. k. a. "Granny. " 246 00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,115 And a nephew, jethro Bodine. 247 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,689 And some woman involved in a drive-by slapping. 248 00:21:40,932 --> 00:21:43,400 Oh, chief. Chief. Are you okay? 249 00:21:43,502 --> 00:21:45,732 Chief. Quickly! Say something! 250 00:21:45,837 --> 00:21:48,533 Say something! 251 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:53,373 You're fired! 252 00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:57,209 Mr. Clampett, sir! I am deeply sorry... 253 00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:00,251 for any embarrassment my former assistant might have caused you. 254 00:22:00,352 --> 00:22:03,321 - L-I... - Yes, sir. L-I... 255 00:22:03,422 --> 00:22:06,084 I- I humbly apologize for my egregious error. 256 00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:08,250 And rest assured that it will never happen again... 257 00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:10,328 as I am no longer in the employ of the bank. 258 00:22:10,429 --> 00:22:13,762 Chief, Mr. Drysdale, I will clean out my desk at once. 259 00:22:15,867 --> 00:22:19,030 Oh, dear.! Oh, please, don't trouble yourselves. 260 00:22:19,137 --> 00:22:21,196 Please, gentlemen. Oh. Oh, thank you. Don't trouble yourselves. 261 00:22:21,306 --> 00:22:24,332 Oh, I'm... Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, thank... No. 262 00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:28,974 So, then everything is fine? 263 00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:32,847 Mr. Clampett, please don't take your money from my bank. 264 00:22:32,951 --> 00:22:37,251 I'll do anything you want. I'll contribute to charities, anything. 265 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,790 I'll eat mud. 266 00:22:39,891 --> 00:22:41,859 That won't be necessary. 267 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,726 All I want is for this here lady to watch over my affairs. 268 00:22:45,831 --> 00:22:49,631 Me? You want me? 269 00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:51,896 Well, I reckon you done what you done... 270 00:22:52,003 --> 00:22:54,563 'cause you didn't know we was who we was. 271 00:22:54,673 --> 00:22:56,607 And if we hadn't have been who we was... 272 00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:59,768 we'd have still been much obliged for you a-doin' what you done. 273 00:23:01,012 --> 00:23:04,812 Mr. Clampett, I will work very hard for you. 274 00:23:04,916 --> 00:23:06,781 I trust you will. 275 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,445 Is that all right with you, Mr. Drysdale? 276 00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:11,681 That's exactly what I'd do in your situation. 277 00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:13,758 - So we got ourselves a deal. - Ah! 278 00:23:15,994 --> 00:23:17,894 Absolutely! 279 00:23:17,996 --> 00:23:20,055 Yeah. 280 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,135 Just to show you there's no hard feelin's... 281 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,762 we'd like to invite you and your family to Sunday supper. 282 00:23:27,873 --> 00:23:31,502 - Thank you. We'll be there. - It'll give me the opportunity to swap recipes with your wife. 283 00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:33,510 Oh, she'd love that. 284 00:23:37,682 --> 00:23:39,650 Here you go. 285 00:23:42,854 --> 00:23:46,847 - What-What are you doing? - We're just payin' our respects. 286 00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:49,119 - You... - Oh. 287 00:23:49,227 --> 00:23:51,718 Oh. Oh, no. This is a limousine. 288 00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:54,162 You'll be going home in this. 289 00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,962 You take this, and I'll follow you in my Rolls-Royce. 290 00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:01,637 - There you go. - Is that your car? 291 00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:04,903 - Yes, it is. - Ain't that fancy! 292 00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:07,740 Can I drive it? 293 00:24:07,846 --> 00:24:11,282 You drive my $180,000 Rolls-Royce? 294 00:24:14,152 --> 00:24:17,212 Uh, well, of course you can, son. I think that's a great idea. 295 00:24:17,322 --> 00:24:19,222 Hot dog! 296 00:24:48,887 --> 00:24:50,821 Howdy! 297 00:24:51,857 --> 00:24:55,384 Oh, isn't this exciting? 298 00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,894 Elly May Clampett, sit down! 299 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:05,095 Oh, excuse me. 300 00:25:05,203 --> 00:25:07,569 Hello. 301 00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:09,867 Let Mr... Let Mr. Clampett know... 302 00:25:09,975 --> 00:25:12,842 that the full weight of the bank is ready to help them. 303 00:25:12,944 --> 00:25:16,277 - Yes, chief. - She thinks she's talkin' to somebody. 304 00:25:16,381 --> 00:25:19,942 Ain't even a cord there. 305 00:25:20,051 --> 00:25:22,747 Like real estate, bonds, securities. 306 00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:25,721 Whatever it is he wants, it's his. 307 00:25:25,824 --> 00:25:30,090 Mr. Drysdale wants you to know that the bank is ready to help in any way that it can. 308 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:33,028 There's one reason and one reason only I moved out here. 309 00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:35,966 I'm lookin' to get hitched. 310 00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:38,967 Chief, he says he wants to get hitched. 311 00:25:39,070 --> 00:25:42,039 - "Hitched"? - Married. 312 00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:45,200 - Married? - Chief, that's what I said. 313 00:25:45,310 --> 00:25:49,269 Miss Hathaway, if... if Clampett wants a wife... 314 00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:51,815 tell him that you will personally find him one. 315 00:25:51,917 --> 00:25:56,047 Oh, chief, capable as I may be, matrimonial brokering is... 316 00:25:56,154 --> 00:25:58,054 Is now one of your specialties. 317 00:25:58,156 --> 00:26:01,250 Congratulations, Miss Hathaway, and good luck. 318 00:26:02,761 --> 00:26:05,696 Yes, sir. Oh, dear. 319 00:26:05,797 --> 00:26:09,289 No problem. Uh, Mr. Clampett. 320 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:14,065 Just exactly what are you looking for in a fianc�e? 321 00:26:14,172 --> 00:26:16,572 A "fianc�e"? 322 00:26:16,675 --> 00:26:19,667 "Fianc�e"is French for the person you intend to marry. 323 00:26:19,778 --> 00:26:22,303 Well, I'm lookin' for a refined lady... 324 00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:25,008 to help me raise my daughter, Elly May. 325 00:26:25,116 --> 00:26:27,584 Aw, Pa, I'm already raised up. 326 00:26:30,188 --> 00:26:32,088 And refined. 327 00:26:32,190 --> 00:26:35,125 - Ah. - Elly May, don't spit from a movin' vehicle. 328 00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:38,622 Wait till it stops. 329 00:26:44,069 --> 00:26:46,537 Jethro, save some for our guests. 330 00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:53,036 Here you go, Unclejed. 331 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:01,950 I think old Duke is sweet on your critter. 332 00:27:02,053 --> 00:27:05,955 She's not a critter. She's a champion French "Barbonet. " 333 00:27:06,057 --> 00:27:10,619 And her purebred puppies are gonna be worth $3,000 each. 334 00:27:10,729 --> 00:27:13,459 Uh, son, what, uh... What do you do? 335 00:27:13,565 --> 00:27:15,692 Don't know. What do you do? 336 00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:18,668 Oh, I'm just president of a bank. 337 00:27:18,770 --> 00:27:22,137 Wow. UncleJed, can I be a president too? 338 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:26,700 Now, Jethro, that's a mighty disrespectful thing to say to Mr. Drysdale. 339 00:27:26,811 --> 00:27:30,508 - No. - Ask him if you can be vice president. 340 00:27:30,615 --> 00:27:34,813 Vice president. 341 00:27:34,919 --> 00:27:37,319 Uh-huh. 342 00:27:51,403 --> 00:27:54,998 Vice president. Mm-hmm. I think so. 343 00:27:55,106 --> 00:27:57,233 We can... We can always use another good man. 344 00:27:57,342 --> 00:28:02,211 Hoo-whee. I'm gonna get me a fancy offiice and a pretty secretary. 345 00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:06,409 There's them bells again. 346 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:10,579 Jethro, I bet you there's somebody standin'at that front door right now. 347 00:28:14,993 --> 00:28:17,928 If I was you, I'd eat real quick whilst he's gone. 348 00:28:18,029 --> 00:28:22,125 Oh, that's good. Margaret, why don't you help yourself, dear. 349 00:28:22,233 --> 00:28:24,963 - Oh, good Lord. - What is it? 350 00:28:29,007 --> 00:28:31,635 - Howdy, mister. - Hi. I'm Woodrow Tyler. 351 00:28:31,743 --> 00:28:34,769 - I'm here to seeJed Clampett. - Well, come on in. 352 00:28:36,214 --> 00:28:38,182 No, no. No. 353 00:28:42,420 --> 00:28:46,720 - Tyler. Well, what brings you here? - Sir, hello. 354 00:28:46,825 --> 00:28:51,558 We took up a collection to buy these beautiful flowers for our newest clients. 355 00:28:51,663 --> 00:28:54,063 Welcome to Beverly Hills. 356 00:28:54,165 --> 00:28:56,258 Well, thank you, sonny. 357 00:28:56,367 --> 00:29:02,237 Tyler, can the ham. Just introduce yourself and get out of here, okay? 358 00:29:02,340 --> 00:29:05,434 - Very pleased to meet you. - Howdy! 359 00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:12,080 Elly May Clampett! 360 00:29:12,183 --> 00:29:15,152 - He was fixin' to bite my hand. - Well, stand him up. 361 00:29:18,723 --> 00:29:22,124 - Tyler, apologize. - My fault completely, Mr. Clampett. 362 00:29:22,227 --> 00:29:23,922 I moved too quickly. 363 00:29:24,028 --> 00:29:27,520 You have a beautiful daughter... and very strong. 364 00:29:27,632 --> 00:29:30,465 - Mrs. Drysdale. - Hmm? 365 00:29:30,568 --> 00:29:33,594 What could help Elly May be as refined as you? 366 00:29:33,705 --> 00:29:36,606 Well, I went to finishing school in France. 367 00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:41,008 No one understands refinement and sophistication better than the French. 368 00:29:41,112 --> 00:29:45,310 Hmm. Do you think we ought to move ourselves to France? 369 00:29:45,416 --> 00:29:48,112 - Yes, I do. - No, you don't. No, she doesn't. 370 00:29:48,219 --> 00:29:51,711 Actually, you can find a good French tutor that'll come right to your home. 371 00:29:53,224 --> 00:29:56,455 I don't wanna change. I just wanna be who I am. 372 00:29:56,561 --> 00:29:59,621 - And I ain't goin'to no France.! - Oh, my. 373 00:30:00,732 --> 00:30:03,292 Excuse me. 374 00:30:03,401 --> 00:30:05,995 - Mrs. Drysdale. - Hmm? 375 00:30:06,104 --> 00:30:08,038 If you ain't gonna eat them vittles, can I have 'em? 376 00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:12,540 Of course you can, son. Bon app�tit. 377 00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:14,612 Thank you. 378 00:30:23,087 --> 00:30:26,079 Elly May, come on down here. 379 00:30:31,095 --> 00:30:34,587 - How'd you know where I was, Pa? - 'Cause ever since you could walk... 380 00:30:34,699 --> 00:30:37,759 you've been climbin' trees and cuddlin' with your critters. 381 00:30:48,580 --> 00:30:52,710 It's high time you started thinkin' about changin' some things. 382 00:30:52,817 --> 00:30:55,809 You need to start wearin' dresses and fixin' up nice. 383 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:59,151 But, Pa, folks would call me a sissy. 384 00:30:59,257 --> 00:31:01,817 It ain't sissy for girls to act like girls. 385 00:31:03,595 --> 00:31:07,156 Ever since your ma died, I done what I knew best... 386 00:31:07,265 --> 00:31:09,699 and raised you up like a boy... 387 00:31:09,801 --> 00:31:12,292 roughhousin', fishin', fightin'. 388 00:31:12,403 --> 00:31:14,997 Yeah. That stuff's fun. 389 00:31:15,106 --> 00:31:19,634 Elly, nature made you a girl, and here lately... 390 00:31:19,744 --> 00:31:21,769 she's been gettin' more and more positive about it. 391 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,780 Aw, Pa. 392 00:31:26,651 --> 00:31:29,313 Every time I look into your eyes... 393 00:31:29,420 --> 00:31:31,320 I can see your ma there. 394 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,628 Was my ma refined? 395 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:40,721 Oh, yes. 396 00:31:40,832 --> 00:31:43,266 She was a real genteel lady. 397 00:31:45,870 --> 00:31:50,000 I miss her so much... even now. 398 00:31:50,108 --> 00:31:52,941 I wanna be just like my ma was. 399 00:31:55,246 --> 00:31:58,477 I reckon I do need somebody to teach me the ways. 400 00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:01,143 Yeah, reckon you do. 401 00:32:04,188 --> 00:32:07,919 And now I got the means to make that happen. 402 00:32:20,305 --> 00:32:24,469 Tyler, don't you have anything better to do today? 403 00:32:24,575 --> 00:32:28,170 I just thought you'd wanna know more about the richest dumb guy in America. 404 00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:32,443 - He's a hayseed, a hillbilly. - Mm! 405 00:32:32,550 --> 00:32:34,609 So this Clampett guy should be easy, huh? 406 00:32:34,719 --> 00:32:38,177 Yes, but we better do it fast before he gets married. 407 00:32:38,289 --> 00:32:41,315 Married? Tyler, Clampett's getting married? 408 00:32:41,426 --> 00:32:44,862 No, but he wants to. 409 00:32:48,666 --> 00:32:51,863 - He's a horny old goat lookin' for some action? - Nah. 410 00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:53,801 He's just looking for a refined lady... 411 00:32:53,905 --> 00:32:56,533 - to help raise his hellcat daughter, Elly May. - Hmm. 412 00:32:56,641 --> 00:33:00,805 But he did seem interested when somebody brought up the idea of a French tutor. 413 00:33:00,912 --> 00:33:04,245 Hmm. A French tutor. 414 00:33:20,932 --> 00:33:24,732 Bonjour. My name is Laurette Voleur... 415 00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:28,237 and I am a... French governess. 416 00:33:28,339 --> 00:33:30,569 Well, come on in, ma'am. 417 00:33:33,511 --> 00:33:35,843 Bonjour. I am going door-to-door... 418 00:33:35,947 --> 00:33:38,711 to see if anyone needs my services. 419 00:33:38,816 --> 00:33:40,613 - My business card. - "Mademoiselle. " 420 00:33:40,718 --> 00:33:44,279 "Mademoiselle... " 421 00:33:44,389 --> 00:33:48,189 - Sorry, ma'am. I don't think so. - Are you sure? 422 00:33:50,495 --> 00:33:55,956 - Yep. - There is not a young woman in the house... 423 00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:59,594 who is perhaps a bit, uh, unruly? 424 00:34:01,139 --> 00:34:04,302 Not that I can think of, but, then again, we just moved here. 425 00:34:04,409 --> 00:34:08,470 Nobody in need of refinement and sophistication? 426 00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:15,542 No. Maybe you oughta try the neighbors. 427 00:34:15,653 --> 00:34:20,420 Oh, well, I am so sorry to bother you. 428 00:34:20,525 --> 00:34:23,426 I will be going now. 429 00:34:24,862 --> 00:34:26,887 Well, what's the problem, ma'am? 430 00:34:26,998 --> 00:34:31,935 I was just hoping that my services would be needed, but... 431 00:34:32,036 --> 00:34:35,301 - Well, what do you do? - I teach, um... how do you say this... 432 00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:40,776 oh, rambunctious teenage girls how to be more ladylike and proper. 433 00:34:43,347 --> 00:34:47,613 Well, dog my cats. You know, Mrs. Drysdale was just telling us... 434 00:34:47,718 --> 00:34:50,653 about how the French was the best at finishing a gal out. 435 00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,918 Oui, they are. They are the very, very best... 436 00:34:54,025 --> 00:34:57,859 at making a woman a woman. 437 00:34:57,962 --> 00:35:00,829 Hey. I just thought of somethin'. 438 00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:02,832 Maybe she could help with Elly May. 439 00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:05,494 Oh. 440 00:35:12,910 --> 00:35:15,606 Here, Rascal. 441 00:35:15,713 --> 00:35:17,874 Yeah. 442 00:35:17,982 --> 00:35:21,383 You like swimmin' in this cement pond, don't you? 443 00:35:21,486 --> 00:35:23,750 You like it too, Frankie? 444 00:35:23,855 --> 00:35:25,823 Takin'that duck for a swim? 445 00:35:28,059 --> 00:35:33,224 And over here by the cement pond is my daughter Elly. 446 00:35:33,331 --> 00:35:35,322 Elly, say hello to Miss Laurette. 447 00:35:35,433 --> 00:35:37,958 - Howdy, Miss Laurette. - Bonjour, Elly May. 448 00:35:38,069 --> 00:35:39,969 It is such a pleasure to meet you. 449 00:35:40,071 --> 00:35:41,971 I was thinkin', every day after school... 450 00:35:42,073 --> 00:35:45,042 maybe Miss Laurette could help teach you to be a lady. 451 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,043 - How about that? - Okay. 452 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:50,080 Spanky likes you. 453 00:35:51,682 --> 00:35:53,809 Not as much as I like him. 454 00:35:55,453 --> 00:35:58,422 Go on, now, and stay out of trouble. 455 00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:02,888 I finally figured this game out, Spanky. 456 00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:05,895 You take this ball... 457 00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:09,057 you put it down this here gully. 458 00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:11,761 It rolls down yonder. 459 00:36:11,869 --> 00:36:15,361 Then you hurl yourself down this slippery gully... 460 00:36:15,473 --> 00:36:19,341 and see how many of them there snake-bashin' clubs... 461 00:36:19,443 --> 00:36:22,901 you can knock down... before the ball gets there. 462 00:36:24,348 --> 00:36:27,840 What a stupid idiot. 463 00:36:27,952 --> 00:36:30,250 Did you say somethin', ma'am? 464 00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:34,017 What a stupendous intellect. 465 00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:36,320 That's 'cause I graduated the sixth grade, ma'am. 466 00:36:36,427 --> 00:36:38,696 Only took three years. 467 00:37:05,623 --> 00:37:08,922 Now, Elly May, sit straight, chin up... 468 00:37:09,026 --> 00:37:13,486 and try to practice looking interested when people are boring you. 469 00:37:22,673 --> 00:37:25,574 Ah, greetings, Mr. Clampett. 470 00:37:25,676 --> 00:37:27,644 - Well, howdy, Miss Jane. - Hello, Elly May. 471 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:30,111 Miss Jane, this here is Miss Laurette Voleur. 472 00:37:30,214 --> 00:37:33,911 Bonjour, Mademoiselle Laurette. Comment allez-vous? 473 00:37:35,019 --> 00:37:36,919 Tut-tut-tut-tut-tut. 474 00:37:37,021 --> 00:37:40,957 - I must only speak the English in front of Elly May. - Of course. 475 00:37:41,058 --> 00:37:44,994 Uh, Mr. Clampett, drawing from Commerce Bank clientele... 476 00:37:45,096 --> 00:37:48,532 I have selected some preliminary bridal prospects for you. 477 00:37:48,633 --> 00:37:51,966 Oh.! Oh, dear.! Oh, my goodness.! 478 00:37:52,069 --> 00:37:55,368 Mon Dieu.! How clumsy of me. I'm so sorry. 479 00:37:55,473 --> 00:37:57,703 Oh. Oh, it's no... no problem. 480 00:37:57,808 --> 00:38:01,471 No problem whatsoever. At the bank, I have these in triplicate. 481 00:38:01,579 --> 00:38:06,039 - I shall return. - I'll walk you out, Miss Hathaway. 482 00:38:06,150 --> 00:38:08,050 Why, thank you, Jethro. 483 00:38:08,152 --> 00:38:10,279 So, Mr. Clampett... 484 00:38:10,388 --> 00:38:12,788 perhaps we should discuss my, uh, weekly salary? 485 00:38:19,830 --> 00:38:22,162 Shoo! 486 00:38:22,266 --> 00:38:26,225 Shoo! 487 00:38:32,843 --> 00:38:37,303 Shoo, cow. Excuse me, I'm just going to reach over here and press this button. 488 00:38:37,415 --> 00:38:39,406 Hello. Can anyone hear me? 489 00:38:39,517 --> 00:38:41,985 Can anyone hear me? 490 00:38:42,086 --> 00:38:44,748 - Yeah. - Can somebody help me? 491 00:38:44,855 --> 00:38:48,052 - Hello? - Miss Hathaway? 492 00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:51,060 How's it feel to live in Beverly Hills? 493 00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:54,563 - Hello? - I can hear you. Where are you? 494 00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:57,725 Please, can somebody let me out of here? 495 00:38:57,835 --> 00:39:00,702 I am trapped inside the wall. 496 00:39:00,805 --> 00:39:03,569 Hello? Hello? 497 00:39:03,674 --> 00:39:06,268 - Hello? Hello? - Just stay put, Miss Hathaway. I'll get ya out. 498 00:39:06,377 --> 00:39:07,742 Hello? 499 00:39:08,946 --> 00:39:10,846 Watch your head. 500 00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:21,385 Miss Hathaway? 501 00:39:22,927 --> 00:39:24,622 Yoo-hoo! 502 00:39:28,499 --> 00:39:31,696 I'm in. This is gonna be easier than I thought. 503 00:39:31,802 --> 00:39:33,736 So, they bought the French thing? 504 00:39:33,838 --> 00:39:37,035 Mais oui. They're bumpkins. 505 00:39:37,141 --> 00:39:39,109 It's a crime they have so much money. 506 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:42,043 It's worse than a foreigner winning the lottery. 507 00:39:42,146 --> 00:39:44,478 I know exactly what I'm gonna do. 508 00:39:44,582 --> 00:39:47,574 First, I'll lure in Clampett. That'll be easy. 509 00:39:47,685 --> 00:39:52,281 Next, I'll take Elly May and slap on a little window dressing. 510 00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:55,791 Make him think I turned her into a real lady. 511 00:39:55,893 --> 00:39:58,384 Then, when the time is just right... 512 00:39:58,496 --> 00:40:00,930 I'll play one off the other and... wham! 513 00:40:01,031 --> 00:40:05,066 - They won't know what hit 'em. - You're not gonna sleep with him, are you? 514 00:40:05,169 --> 00:40:07,637 - That's not your problem. - Okay, Laura? 515 00:40:07,738 --> 00:40:10,468 I got my hand on your butt. 516 00:40:10,574 --> 00:40:12,565 Okay. Hold on. 517 00:40:12,676 --> 00:40:14,837 I got someone on call waiting. 518 00:40:14,945 --> 00:40:18,039 Hello? Hello? 519 00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:22,981 It was nobody. Okay, now. 520 00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:26,181 I got my hand on your butt, and I'm squeezing. 521 00:40:26,290 --> 00:40:29,088 Tyler! Get your hand off my butt. 522 00:40:29,193 --> 00:40:31,991 - Mr. Drysdale! - Get a pencil and write this down. 523 00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:34,030 Yes, Mr. Drysdale. 524 00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:37,259 Right. Uh-huh. I can do that. 525 00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:04,454 Howdy, I'm Elly May. You must be Mr. Drysdale's son. 526 00:41:08,599 --> 00:41:11,397 Well, thanks for picking me up. Is this here your car? 527 00:41:16,273 --> 00:41:20,573 Are we goin' to school, or are we just goin' to stand here all day? 528 00:41:26,250 --> 00:41:29,913 - Hey, y'all. Howdy. - She's with me. 529 00:41:30,020 --> 00:41:32,147 Heck, Morgan, I'm tryin' to be friendly-like... 530 00:41:32,256 --> 00:41:34,884 but these folks don't seem to want to say howdy back. 531 00:41:34,992 --> 00:41:37,187 - They sure are shy. - So what? 532 00:41:37,294 --> 00:41:39,489 Elly May, who cares? They're losers. 533 00:41:39,597 --> 00:41:41,690 Not one of them is worth over 300 million. 534 00:41:41,799 --> 00:41:43,892 - Uh-oh. - Well, if it isn't Morgan... 535 00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:46,435 spelled big "M," little "organ. " 536 00:41:46,537 --> 00:41:50,530 - We've gotta go. - Not so fast, bank boy. Cough up your lunch money now. 537 00:41:50,641 --> 00:41:53,735 All I have is $400 in traveler's checks. 538 00:41:53,844 --> 00:41:56,836 So just sign them and hand them over. 539 00:41:56,947 --> 00:41:59,347 Jake, show these two what happened to the last guy who didn't pay up. 540 00:42:05,055 --> 00:42:07,080 Well, I can wire the money to your account. 541 00:42:07,191 --> 00:42:09,182 Before the close of the business day. 542 00:42:11,795 --> 00:42:14,525 I don't see why you had to give anything to that gorilla. 543 00:42:14,632 --> 00:42:17,226 Well, that gorilla is the captain of the wrestling team. 544 00:42:17,334 --> 00:42:20,394 Wow. I never wrestled a team before. 545 00:42:20,504 --> 00:42:25,237 - Well, 'lessen you count the McCarter triplets. - Cappuccino? 546 00:42:25,342 --> 00:42:27,367 - What? - Two. 547 00:42:34,184 --> 00:42:36,914 Thank you, Tiffany. 548 00:42:37,021 --> 00:42:39,251 This here electronic whittler works real fine. 549 00:42:42,192 --> 00:42:44,626 Why, hello, Jethro. 550 00:42:44,728 --> 00:42:47,424 Well, howdy, Miss Hathaway. 551 00:42:48,966 --> 00:42:51,901 My, don't you look strapping in your new business suit. 552 00:42:52,002 --> 00:42:56,996 - Armani? - No. I'm pretty sure it's wool. Sure does itch like wool. 553 00:42:58,909 --> 00:43:01,810 - Miss Hathaway? - Oh, no, no. We're colleagues. 554 00:43:01,912 --> 00:43:04,745 Call meJane. MeJane, you Jethro. 555 00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:10,751 Okay. Okay, Miss Hathaway. 556 00:43:10,854 --> 00:43:14,449 Can I get one of these electronic whittlers for UncleJed? 557 00:43:14,558 --> 00:43:17,925 - It's his birthday coming up real soon. - Let me make a note of that. 558 00:43:18,028 --> 00:43:21,122 And speaking of your UncleJed, back to the job at hand... 559 00:43:21,231 --> 00:43:23,961 - Finding him a suitable wife. - Can I help? 560 00:43:24,068 --> 00:43:27,265 Heck, back in the hollow, my ma was the best matchmaker around. 561 00:43:27,371 --> 00:43:29,771 - Is that so? - Uh-huh. 562 00:43:29,873 --> 00:43:34,367 First thing she'd do is get the back-fence gossips start a-jawin'. 563 00:43:34,478 --> 00:43:36,378 Why, we could drop some items in the trades. 564 00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,381 - Excellent. - Thank you. 565 00:43:39,483 --> 00:43:42,646 And then she'd... What'd she do? 566 00:43:42,753 --> 00:43:46,450 She'd hang a sign on the church bulletin board. 567 00:43:46,557 --> 00:43:49,890 Maybe we can get a big bulletin board. 568 00:43:49,994 --> 00:43:52,326 No, no. We'd better be a bit more discreet. 569 00:43:52,429 --> 00:43:55,330 Tell me, what are your uncle's favorite things? 570 00:43:55,432 --> 00:43:57,332 Shoot, that's easy. 571 00:43:57,434 --> 00:44:00,801 - He likes smoked crawdads. - Mm-hmm. 572 00:44:00,904 --> 00:44:02,872 Sowbelly and hand-slung chitterlings. 573 00:44:02,973 --> 00:44:05,339 And sponge cake. 574 00:44:05,442 --> 00:44:07,569 Besides food, Jethro. 575 00:44:07,678 --> 00:44:12,206 - Oh. He likes people who don't waste nothin'. - Oh, go on. 576 00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:16,719 And his favorite song is "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" by Hank Williams. 577 00:44:16,820 --> 00:44:20,017 - Yes! - Yes, ma'am. 578 00:45:17,347 --> 00:45:19,247 Entrez. 579 00:45:24,488 --> 00:45:27,423 Excuse me, ma'am, uh... 580 00:45:27,524 --> 00:45:29,424 is that Hank Williams I hear? 581 00:45:29,526 --> 00:45:31,494 I'm sorry. It must be too loud. 582 00:45:31,595 --> 00:45:33,722 - I will... - No, no. 583 00:45:33,831 --> 00:45:36,925 I was just listening to it while repairing this old dress... 584 00:45:37,034 --> 00:45:40,094 and, uh, waiting for my sponge cake to bake. 585 00:45:40,204 --> 00:45:42,138 You're cookin' a sponge cake? 586 00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:45,470 Oui. It is my sp�cialit�. 587 00:45:45,576 --> 00:45:48,602 I love this music. 588 00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:51,647 It makes me want to dance. 589 00:45:53,183 --> 00:45:54,980 It's so romantic. 590 00:46:37,327 --> 00:46:41,263 You are a fine dancer... 591 00:46:41,365 --> 00:46:44,163 and a very attractive man. 592 00:46:44,268 --> 00:46:47,465 Whomever Miss Hathaway finds for you to marry... 593 00:46:47,571 --> 00:46:49,698 is going to be a very happy woman. 594 00:46:49,807 --> 00:46:52,241 Well, thank you, ma'am. 595 00:46:52,342 --> 00:46:56,540 And all women know "a-penis" is hard to find. 596 00:46:59,249 --> 00:47:02,446 - Excuse me? - "A-penis. " 597 00:47:05,189 --> 00:47:07,885 Oh, happiness! 598 00:47:07,991 --> 00:47:09,652 Well, uh... 599 00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,990 I've disturbed your work enough, ma'am. 600 00:47:24,541 --> 00:47:26,839 Jethro, have you considered getting a new car? 601 00:47:26,944 --> 00:47:31,381 Nope, but I told UncleJed we should slap a new coat of paint on this'n. 602 00:47:31,481 --> 00:47:33,745 But he said just 'cause we had money... 603 00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:35,978 we didn't need to go showin' it off. 604 00:47:36,086 --> 00:47:38,054 I was just thinking, oh, you should, you should. 605 00:47:38,155 --> 00:47:41,215 You would look so good in a big new fashy car. 606 00:47:41,325 --> 00:47:44,761 Big fashy car, huh? Maybe. 607 00:47:46,396 --> 00:47:49,229 Yep. 608 00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:53,531 Okay, Miss Jane, I'm 'bout ready to pull over. 609 00:47:53,637 --> 00:47:56,333 You are so impossibly romantic. 610 00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:58,704 Close your eyes. 611 00:47:58,809 --> 00:48:00,709 Hot diggity dog! 612 00:48:00,811 --> 00:48:03,678 Okay, now, keep 'em closed. 613 00:48:03,780 --> 00:48:06,442 How charmingly old-fashioned. 614 00:48:06,550 --> 00:48:08,916 Mm. 615 00:48:09,019 --> 00:48:11,146 Open your eyes and look up. 616 00:48:12,656 --> 00:48:14,624 Ain't she pretty? 617 00:48:16,193 --> 00:48:18,218 Oh, my God! 618 00:48:18,328 --> 00:48:20,796 The chief is going to kill me. 619 00:48:31,942 --> 00:48:34,376 We'll be back with the financial news after this message. 620 00:48:34,478 --> 00:48:36,912 Howdy. I'm jethro Bodine. 621 00:48:37,014 --> 00:48:39,175 I'm talkin' to all you ladies out there. 622 00:48:39,283 --> 00:48:41,410 Are you looking for the perfect husband? 623 00:48:41,518 --> 00:48:43,418 Then considerjed Clampett. 624 00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:46,148 Yes, Jed is rated triple A's... 625 00:48:46,256 --> 00:48:50,420 for a-ttractive, a-vailable, and a-billionaire. 626 00:48:50,527 --> 00:48:53,587 So come on down to the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills... 627 00:48:53,697 --> 00:48:55,756 and see me, jethro Bodine, vice president. 628 00:48:55,866 --> 00:48:57,766 - Dear, what's the matter? - And remember. 629 00:48:57,868 --> 00:49:01,668 I'm not onlyJed's wife finder. I'm also his nephew. 630 00:49:04,708 --> 00:49:06,608 I'm ruined. 631 00:49:37,574 --> 00:49:39,041 Oh! 632 00:49:52,255 --> 00:49:54,951 Howdy. 633 00:49:56,126 --> 00:49:58,253 Thank you. 634 00:49:58,362 --> 00:50:02,059 Hathaway, you are embarrassing this institution! 635 00:50:02,165 --> 00:50:04,099 This is a carnival. 636 00:50:04,201 --> 00:50:07,432 What kind of a numbskull would think up a harebrained scheme like this? 637 00:50:07,537 --> 00:50:09,596 That'd be me, Mr. Drysdale. 638 00:50:09,706 --> 00:50:11,401 Y- Your idea. Well... 639 00:50:11,508 --> 00:50:14,341 Well, it's brilliant.! 640 00:50:14,444 --> 00:50:16,844 Insightful. Cutting edge. 641 00:50:16,947 --> 00:50:19,040 You're a born leader, son. 642 00:50:19,149 --> 00:50:22,641 We've have had 1,215 women respond to the ad. 643 00:50:22,753 --> 00:50:24,721 - And two men. - Wh... 644 00:50:24,821 --> 00:50:28,882 Once I've entered the data into the computer, worked my magic... presto. 645 00:50:28,992 --> 00:50:33,622 - We will narrow them down to a precious few. - Send in the next five. 646 00:50:33,730 --> 00:50:37,359 Oh, uh, Hathaway, uh, you're not validating parking, are you? 647 00:50:37,467 --> 00:50:39,367 Parking? Um... 648 00:50:39,469 --> 00:50:41,767 Oh, that was my idea too, Mr. Drysdale. 649 00:50:41,872 --> 00:50:45,968 Well, it's a brilliant idea, if I may say so. 650 00:50:46,076 --> 00:50:48,567 Let's see, uh... 651 00:50:48,678 --> 00:50:52,205 1,215 women... and two men. 652 00:50:52,315 --> 00:50:54,442 At a dollar and a half every 15 minutes. 653 00:50:54,551 --> 00:50:57,418 Ah, well, that's only gonna cost me 5... 654 00:50:57,521 --> 00:51:00,046 5-5-5-5... $5,000. 655 00:51:00,157 --> 00:51:03,217 Well... 656 00:51:09,366 --> 00:51:11,891 - Bonjour, Jethro. - Well, howdy, Miss Laurette. 657 00:51:12,002 --> 00:51:13,902 What is all of this? 658 00:51:14,004 --> 00:51:17,405 Miss Jane said a big fancy car would be more suitin' to my personality... 659 00:51:17,507 --> 00:51:20,533 so I'm fixin' on makin' one out of my truck. 660 00:51:20,644 --> 00:51:24,239 Personally, if it would have been me, I would have just bought a new one. 661 00:51:24,347 --> 00:51:26,747 But... carry on. 662 00:51:29,820 --> 00:51:31,845 What a moron. 663 00:51:34,357 --> 00:51:36,291 Hey, organ, what are you doin' here? 664 00:51:36,393 --> 00:51:38,258 - You come here to wrestle me? - No. 665 00:51:38,361 --> 00:51:40,261 Or did you just come here to kiss the gym foor? 666 00:51:40,363 --> 00:51:42,991 Come on, Morgan, just kiss it. Come on, kiss it. 667 00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:45,091 Why don't you pick on somebody your own size? 668 00:51:45,202 --> 00:51:47,534 And what business is it of yours, baby? 669 00:51:47,637 --> 00:51:51,198 What are you doing here, anyway, corn pone? 670 00:51:51,308 --> 00:51:53,970 I came by to join the wrestlin' team. 671 00:51:54,077 --> 00:51:55,977 I don't wrestle girls, at least not in the gym... 672 00:51:56,079 --> 00:51:57,979 but in your case, I'll make an exception. 673 00:51:58,081 --> 00:52:00,072 - Good. Then let's get started. - Whoa! 674 00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:04,644 - I'm gonna kill you! - I'm goin' to kill you.! 675 00:52:04,754 --> 00:52:06,688 No one is going to kill anyone here! 676 00:52:06,790 --> 00:52:08,758 Not without a signed permission slip from home. 677 00:52:08,859 --> 00:52:11,453 - Got it? - Got it, Coach. 678 00:52:13,430 --> 00:52:15,830 So, Jethro... 679 00:52:15,932 --> 00:52:19,163 building on your visionary plan for finding your uncle's wife... 680 00:52:19,269 --> 00:52:23,171 I've... I've created this rather modest database program. 681 00:52:23,273 --> 00:52:26,333 I've cross-referenced the applicants... 682 00:52:26,443 --> 00:52:30,345 against the parameters you indicated he desired... 683 00:52:30,447 --> 00:52:34,315 by specifying the search criteria into functional groupings... 684 00:52:34,417 --> 00:52:37,909 and selecting the fiield values... 685 00:52:38,021 --> 00:52:40,182 through the use of embedded commands... 686 00:52:40,290 --> 00:52:44,522 and, of course, basic Boolean algebra. 687 00:52:47,597 --> 00:52:51,897 Miss Jane, I have no idea what you just said. 688 00:52:54,905 --> 00:52:59,399 Oh, Jethro, you are so delightfully... primitive. 689 00:53:02,646 --> 00:53:05,774 Uh, Miss Hathaway, would you step into my office, please. 690 00:53:05,882 --> 00:53:08,942 - And bring the, uh, the Arlington file. - Yes, sir. 691 00:53:09,052 --> 00:53:11,077 - I'm sorry. - Mr. Drysdale... 692 00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:14,180 since I have trained three Kentucky Derby winners for other people... 693 00:53:14,291 --> 00:53:18,250 it seems a logical extension that I'd want to own and operate my own stud farm... 694 00:53:18,361 --> 00:53:20,056 Arlington Acres. 695 00:53:20,163 --> 00:53:23,155 Well, it's just... It's just a very exciting idea. 696 00:53:23,266 --> 00:53:26,235 Then you agree that his net worth and rural background... 697 00:53:26,336 --> 00:53:28,827 makeJed Clampett the perfect partner for such a venture. 698 00:53:28,939 --> 00:53:32,375 Absolutely. You and Clampett, partners in a stud farm. 699 00:53:32,475 --> 00:53:35,410 - I think it's a wonderful idea. - So you'll call him and arrange for us to meet? 700 00:53:35,512 --> 00:53:37,742 You bet I will. 701 00:53:37,847 --> 00:53:40,714 - I'm sure he can't wait to see you. - Oh. 702 00:53:40,817 --> 00:53:44,412 In fact, as soon as you leave, I'm going to call Mr. Clampett on the phone. 703 00:53:44,521 --> 00:53:46,887 - Ah! This is very exciting. - Isn't it? 704 00:53:46,990 --> 00:53:49,788 Yeah. 705 00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:52,487 But, chief, you specifiically told me... 706 00:53:52,596 --> 00:53:55,827 that you did not want Mr. Clampett involved in such a risky venture. 707 00:53:55,932 --> 00:53:57,866 Exactly. Shred and burn that. 708 00:53:57,968 --> 00:54:00,459 And don't ever let that lady back in this offiice. 709 00:54:00,570 --> 00:54:03,061 It went fantastically. 710 00:54:03,173 --> 00:54:07,041 Mr. Drysdale said I would be a perfect partner for Mr. Clampett. 711 00:54:07,143 --> 00:54:09,907 Yes. I'll tell you more when I get back. Bye. 712 00:54:12,882 --> 00:54:16,978 Excuse me, ma'am. If Mr. Drysdale thinks you'd be perfect for my UncleJed... 713 00:54:17,087 --> 00:54:20,488 I can take you over to meet him right now. 714 00:54:20,590 --> 00:54:23,991 - Wonderful! - Come on. 715 00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:26,688 I think you're gonna like Miss Arlington. 716 00:54:26,796 --> 00:54:29,526 Miss Jane picked her out with her computer-datin' base. 717 00:54:29,633 --> 00:54:32,602 Then Mr. Drysdale personally approved her. 718 00:54:32,702 --> 00:54:35,330 Computer-datin' base, huh? 719 00:54:35,438 --> 00:54:38,305 What'll they think of next? 720 00:54:38,408 --> 00:54:42,174 - Hello, Miss Arlington. - Mr. Clampett. 721 00:54:42,279 --> 00:54:45,908 Well, gee, uh, I don't know quite how to begin. 722 00:54:46,016 --> 00:54:49,008 Then let me start. 723 00:54:49,119 --> 00:54:53,351 I know, by just looking at you, you are the perfect man for my stud farm. 724 00:54:54,758 --> 00:54:58,194 - Stud farm? - If it makes it any easier for you... 725 00:54:58,295 --> 00:55:02,527 I am willing to take on multiple partners. 726 00:55:02,632 --> 00:55:05,897 Multiple partners. 727 00:55:09,639 --> 00:55:11,539 Uh, no offense, ma'am... 728 00:55:11,641 --> 00:55:14,735 but I'm afraid I'd find that just a tad uncomfortable. 729 00:55:16,846 --> 00:55:18,837 Well, what if it was with somebody you really trusted... 730 00:55:18,948 --> 00:55:20,848 like Mr. Drysdale? 731 00:55:22,319 --> 00:55:24,219 I don't think this is the sort of thing... 732 00:55:24,321 --> 00:55:26,881 Mr. Drysdale would want to be involved in. 733 00:55:26,990 --> 00:55:29,185 Oh, well, you should have seen his face... 734 00:55:29,292 --> 00:55:32,159 when I showed him the pictures of what I have in mind. 735 00:55:32,262 --> 00:55:35,231 - He was very excited. - I don't doubt that. 736 00:55:35,332 --> 00:55:38,028 Would you like to see the pictures? They're very detailed. 737 00:55:38,134 --> 00:55:40,500 Not just yet! 738 00:55:40,603 --> 00:55:42,571 Don't you think we're movin' awful fast? 739 00:55:42,672 --> 00:55:47,974 Oh, not as far as I'm concerned, Mr. Clampett. 740 00:55:48,078 --> 00:55:51,070 I've got my license, and I'm ready to breed. 741 00:55:53,049 --> 00:55:55,517 Excuse me, ma'am, uh... 742 00:55:55,618 --> 00:55:57,745 I could use a glass of iced tea. 743 00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:00,952 - Yourself? - Sure. 744 00:56:01,057 --> 00:56:04,515 I'm learnin' Elly May to ride my motorcycle! 745 00:56:04,627 --> 00:56:07,994 - How do you stop this thing? - I'm gonna tan your hide.! 746 00:56:08,098 --> 00:56:11,932 You're doin' real good. Now put on the brakes! 747 00:56:12,035 --> 00:56:13,935 - Granny? - Whoa.! 748 00:56:14,037 --> 00:56:15,937 I'm gonna get you! 749 00:56:19,008 --> 00:56:21,135 Granny! Watch your head! 750 00:56:25,248 --> 00:56:28,479 Stop! Oh-oh-oh! 751 00:56:33,923 --> 00:56:36,153 - Dang! - I'll help you, Granny. 752 00:56:36,259 --> 00:56:38,557 Come on. Swim over here. 753 00:56:38,661 --> 00:56:40,754 There we go. Give me your hand. 754 00:56:40,864 --> 00:56:43,628 Upsy-daisy. Come on. 755 00:56:43,733 --> 00:56:46,065 There we... Ow.! Granny.! 756 00:56:46,169 --> 00:56:48,797 Ow! Ow! Ow! Granny! 757 00:56:48,905 --> 00:56:51,237 Miss Arlington, you reckon if we got hitched, 758 00:56:51,341 --> 00:56:54,139 you could help me tame my daughter, Elly May? 759 00:56:54,244 --> 00:56:56,940 Are you proposing we get married? 760 00:56:57,046 --> 00:57:00,914 Well, I wouldn't feel right about breedin' if we didn't. 761 00:57:09,926 --> 00:57:14,829 Okay, men, that's it. Hit the mineral baths. 762 00:57:14,931 --> 00:57:17,263 - Howdy. - Well, well. Look who's here. 763 00:57:17,367 --> 00:57:21,030 - Missed you at practice, babe. - She didn't come alone. 764 00:57:21,137 --> 00:57:23,002 Hey, Morgan. What are you doin' here? 765 00:57:26,075 --> 00:57:28,976 - Well, who's all these folks? - Just to keep things fair. 766 00:57:29,078 --> 00:57:31,842 - Is this some kind of joke? - Well, come on, baby. 767 00:57:31,948 --> 00:57:33,677 Let's wrestle. 768 00:57:36,252 --> 00:57:38,812 - Come on! - Come on. Give it to him. 769 00:57:38,922 --> 00:57:41,891 Oh, wait. That's mine. 770 00:57:41,991 --> 00:57:44,152 It's mine. 771 00:57:46,196 --> 00:57:48,323 Come on, man. You can do it! 772 00:57:48,431 --> 00:57:51,127 - Fight in the gym. - All right. - Cool. 773 00:58:08,051 --> 00:58:10,918 Wait. Hold on. I'm getting a fax. 774 00:58:14,457 --> 00:58:17,255 Meet me there. 775 00:58:27,303 --> 00:58:29,771 This here's what I call the Clampett clamp. 776 00:58:29,873 --> 00:58:31,602 That's not legal. 777 00:58:31,708 --> 00:58:34,074 Really? Well, try this one. 778 00:58:35,612 --> 00:58:39,343 Hey, come on. 779 00:58:39,449 --> 00:58:42,179 - I call it the possum pretzel. - That ain't legal either. 780 00:58:42,285 --> 00:58:45,516 - Well... - Ow! 781 00:58:47,290 --> 00:58:49,383 What about the hickory nut crunch? 782 00:58:54,330 --> 00:58:56,093 That's definitely not legal! 783 00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:59,828 Well, ain't nothin' legal 'round here? 784 00:59:08,244 --> 00:59:11,543 One, two... 785 00:59:13,750 --> 00:59:16,947 One, two... 786 00:59:17,053 --> 00:59:20,386 - Yeah! - Three. 787 00:59:31,701 --> 00:59:34,568 Young lady! 788 00:59:34,671 --> 00:59:37,435 I think we've found a new team captain. 789 00:59:37,540 --> 00:59:40,509 Sorry, Derek. You're demoted. 790 00:59:42,011 --> 00:59:43,638 Come here, Morgan. 791 00:59:43,746 --> 00:59:46,340 Thanks, y'all. 792 00:59:53,423 --> 00:59:58,554 I truly appreciate y'all a-tossin' me this here fancy birthday party. 793 00:59:58,661 --> 01:00:01,960 Everybody looks just as nice as peach pie. 794 01:00:02,065 --> 01:00:05,466 I just got one question for you... 795 01:00:05,568 --> 01:00:08,093 - Who are these people? - Well... 796 01:00:14,744 --> 01:00:17,508 Howdy, Miss Jane. 797 01:00:17,614 --> 01:00:20,082 Oh, my goodness, jethro. 798 01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:26,078 I took your advice... made me a big fashy car. 799 01:00:26,189 --> 01:00:29,386 It's very you. Very, very macho. 800 01:00:29,492 --> 01:00:33,121 - Thank you. - Well, shall we? 801 01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:40,465 Is Pa here yet? 802 01:00:42,905 --> 01:00:46,136 Elly May Clampett, you look plumb elegant. 803 01:00:46,242 --> 01:00:50,178 Thanks, Pa. I feel kind of funny gettin' all gussied up like this... 804 01:00:50,279 --> 01:00:53,715 but Miss Laurette says I'll get used to it. 805 01:00:55,284 --> 01:00:58,151 You've done a fine job in turnin' Elly May into a lady. 806 01:00:58,254 --> 01:01:00,950 Thank you, Monsieur Clampett. 807 01:01:01,057 --> 01:01:04,823 She is a diamond in ze rough, just like you. 808 01:01:04,927 --> 01:01:09,057 What's all this? 809 01:01:09,165 --> 01:01:12,430 Sushi, calamari, caviar. 810 01:01:12,535 --> 01:01:15,527 What? Speak American. 811 01:01:15,638 --> 01:01:18,266 Listen, I was wondering if, um... 812 01:01:18,374 --> 01:01:20,342 maybe sometime we could go out. 813 01:01:20,443 --> 01:01:24,743 Not on a date or anything, but just maybe to go get some burgers or something. 814 01:01:24,847 --> 01:01:27,645 Take off that silly hat. 815 01:01:29,452 --> 01:01:32,444 Then again, I would, uh... understand if you didn't want to. 816 01:01:32,555 --> 01:01:36,389 Sounds like fun. 817 01:01:36,492 --> 01:01:39,723 So, Jethro, once we find your UncleJed a wife... 818 01:01:39,829 --> 01:01:43,629 - Perhaps it'll be your turn to get hitched. - Me? No. 819 01:01:43,733 --> 01:01:46,702 I'm gonna be a Hollywood bachelor... 820 01:01:46,803 --> 01:01:48,930 date all the hot young starlets. 821 01:01:49,038 --> 01:01:52,838 Well, let me remind you not to overlook the charms of the slightly older woman... 822 01:01:52,942 --> 01:01:57,379 who more than makes up with experience what she may lack in other arenas. 823 01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:59,812 Okay, Miss Jane. 824 01:01:59,916 --> 01:02:02,146 No problem. 825 01:02:02,251 --> 01:02:06,711 - Oh, please, let me. - Tyler, clam it. It's showtime. 826 01:02:12,962 --> 01:02:15,931 Miss Laurette? Why are you cryin'? 827 01:02:17,834 --> 01:02:20,701 I- I have just spoken with your father. 828 01:02:20,803 --> 01:02:24,102 And he says I would make ze best wife for him. 829 01:02:24,207 --> 01:02:28,473 - He did? - But as happy as I would make him... 830 01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:34,016 I am afraid that you will think I'm too young and beautiful to be your mother. 831 01:02:37,353 --> 01:02:41,289 Who'd of thought it... Miss Laurette and my pa? Hmm. 832 01:02:42,725 --> 01:02:46,183 Oh, where is he? Oh. 833 01:02:47,964 --> 01:02:50,933 So I can call you whenever I want? You'll hotfoot it right over? 834 01:02:51,033 --> 01:02:54,730 - Mm-hmm. - Hot dog. 835 01:02:54,837 --> 01:02:57,305 Thank you. 836 01:02:59,876 --> 01:03:04,677 I will miss Elly May so much when you find yourself a wife. 837 01:03:04,781 --> 01:03:10,413 - And I will miss you too. - I hadn't thought about you not bein' here. 838 01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:13,387 It's sure been a pleasure to have you stay with us. 839 01:03:13,489 --> 01:03:15,184 Thank you. 840 01:03:15,291 --> 01:03:17,156 Jed? 841 01:03:17,260 --> 01:03:20,388 Elly May said ze strangest thing to me tonight. 842 01:03:20,496 --> 01:03:23,226 She said she would love for me to be her mother. 843 01:03:23,332 --> 01:03:28,031 I'm sure she'll get over the disappointment in whomever you choose. 844 01:03:29,939 --> 01:03:32,908 I love Elly May just like a daughter. 845 01:03:33,009 --> 01:03:35,204 Perhaps you should speak with her. 846 01:03:35,311 --> 01:03:37,541 I'll do that. 847 01:03:46,088 --> 01:03:48,215 Well. 848 01:03:48,324 --> 01:03:50,224 This here's a big night for you... 849 01:03:50,326 --> 01:03:54,660 all dressed up and ladylike at your first Beverly Hills social. 850 01:03:54,764 --> 01:03:57,324 Your ma would be so proud. 851 01:03:57,433 --> 01:04:01,233 Thanks, Pa. Miss Laurette said she was right proud too. 852 01:04:01,337 --> 01:04:04,067 You like her, don't you? 853 01:04:04,173 --> 01:04:07,802 Well, I like her just fine, and I guess you like her too. 854 01:04:07,910 --> 01:04:09,878 I certainly do. 855 01:04:11,614 --> 01:04:14,082 All I want is for you to be happy, Elly May. 856 01:04:14,183 --> 01:04:17,744 I just want you to be happy, Pa. 857 01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:20,482 Well, I reckon there's no time like right now. 858 01:04:25,461 --> 01:04:28,021 - Happy birthday, jed. - Happy birthday. 859 01:04:36,339 --> 01:04:37,772 Oh! 860 01:04:58,928 --> 01:05:02,125 Well, I got a feeling you're worth every dime of it too. 861 01:05:02,231 --> 01:05:05,394 Step up here. Let me take a good look at you. 862 01:05:05,501 --> 01:05:08,629 Boy, you're looking good on your birthday. 863 01:05:08,738 --> 01:05:11,536 I think we need a speech, don't you? Speech. 864 01:05:15,778 --> 01:05:19,407 You know, I have more than any one man deserves... 865 01:05:19,515 --> 01:05:22,484 yet there is something I'd like for my birthday. 866 01:05:22,585 --> 01:05:27,989 I'd like to ask the one who helped Elly May become a lady to be my wife. 867 01:05:29,926 --> 01:05:33,521 Miss Laurette Voleur. 868 01:05:33,629 --> 01:05:36,598 Oh, I am so surprised. 869 01:05:37,934 --> 01:05:40,425 This is ze happiest day of my life. 870 01:05:43,806 --> 01:05:45,706 Huh? 871 01:05:45,808 --> 01:05:49,335 All right. Congratulations. 872 01:06:44,867 --> 01:06:47,665 - You don't say. - I do say! 873 01:06:47,770 --> 01:06:49,863 Well, I'll be. Who's he marrying? 874 01:06:49,972 --> 01:06:53,840 Oh, some foozy with a fancy accent. 875 01:06:53,943 --> 01:06:56,173 She seems sneaky to me. I don't trust her. 876 01:06:56,278 --> 01:06:58,405 Oh, Granny, you don't trust anybody. 877 01:06:58,514 --> 01:07:00,880 Never mind about that. 878 01:07:00,983 --> 01:07:04,714 I'm invitin' you to the weddin' and the cousins. 879 01:07:04,820 --> 01:07:09,450 But just from Jed's side, not includin' the Kelloggs nor the Daggs. 880 01:07:09,558 --> 01:07:12,618 Now, Granny, you're not gonna get into your tonic... 881 01:07:12,728 --> 01:07:15,219 and disappear like you did when Jed married your daughter, are ya? 882 01:07:20,569 --> 01:07:23,299 Jethrine, your UncleJed's gettin' married. 883 01:07:25,975 --> 01:07:28,603 I always cry at weddings. 884 01:07:28,711 --> 01:07:31,202 Oh, now, honey. 885 01:07:31,313 --> 01:07:34,111 I do. 886 01:07:38,054 --> 01:07:41,046 Well, you got both kinds of chickens here, Jed. 887 01:07:41,157 --> 01:07:44,126 - White and the brown. - What you got there, son? 888 01:07:44,226 --> 01:07:47,889 Oh, it's just a standard prenuptial agreement. 889 01:07:47,997 --> 01:07:53,128 Miss Hathaway said for you not to tell anyone that you signed it, not even her. 890 01:07:53,235 --> 01:07:58,434 Well, if Miss Hathaway says so, I don't even have to read this. It must be fine. 891 01:08:02,611 --> 01:08:06,741 They'll be comin' from miles around to get my expert doctorin'... 892 01:08:06,849 --> 01:08:09,647 and I won't turn a one away. 893 01:08:09,752 --> 01:08:13,381 I done took me the "hypocritter" oath to help everybody. 894 01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:20,395 Kinda weak. 895 01:08:20,496 --> 01:08:25,524 Probably good enough for city folk. 896 01:08:25,634 --> 01:08:27,602 Tyler.! 897 01:08:29,905 --> 01:08:32,533 Did you get him to sign the papers? 898 01:08:32,641 --> 01:08:35,735 Oh, yeah. He's a very trusting man. 899 01:08:35,845 --> 01:08:37,972 He thinks everyone's honest. 900 01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:41,538 That's a quality I admire in a man I'm taking advantage of. 901 01:08:41,650 --> 01:08:44,778 Hey, uh, you're not sleeping with him, are you? 902 01:08:44,887 --> 01:08:48,755 Tyler, you know once I move in with a man, I stop having sex with him. 903 01:08:48,858 --> 01:08:50,826 Oh, yeah. That's right. 904 01:08:50,926 --> 01:08:56,489 - Keep your mind on business. Now go. - Hey, wait. 905 01:08:56,599 --> 01:09:00,729 - How about a little good-bye kiss? - All right. 906 01:09:02,505 --> 01:09:04,666 I knowed it! I knowed it! 907 01:09:04,773 --> 01:09:07,708 I done catched you red-handed, you two-timin' hussy! 908 01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:11,302 When I inform jed, the weddin'will be off! 909 01:09:11,413 --> 01:09:13,677 Let's get her. 910 01:09:13,782 --> 01:09:16,580 Uh-oh. Oh. 911 01:09:19,788 --> 01:09:21,915 No! No! No! 912 01:09:26,262 --> 01:09:28,594 Shut up, you old hag.! 913 01:09:28,697 --> 01:09:32,155 We got just the place for you. 914 01:09:32,268 --> 01:09:34,168 Let me down! 915 01:09:39,808 --> 01:09:42,276 I've already input the info into the computer. 916 01:09:42,378 --> 01:09:45,779 Soon as you say "I do"... bing! I press "Enter. " 917 01:09:45,881 --> 01:09:48,441 Boom! The money goes via modem to Switzerland. 918 01:09:48,551 --> 01:09:51,884 Bing, bang, boom. We're rich! 919 01:09:53,822 --> 01:09:56,154 - Oh. - Look at those legs. 920 01:09:56,258 --> 01:09:59,227 I can't wait to get them wrapped around me. 921 01:09:59,328 --> 01:10:01,853 Get her off of me! 922 01:10:01,964 --> 01:10:04,592 - Get those legs off him! - She's got crap on her boots! 923 01:10:08,337 --> 01:10:11,431 She doesn't even think we're her grandchildren. 924 01:10:11,540 --> 01:10:14,202 And you say you fear for your lives? 925 01:10:14,310 --> 01:10:18,440 Yes. I'm afraid the poor old dear tried to shoot us with a shotgun. 926 01:10:18,547 --> 01:10:20,572 Are there any other indications of dementia? 927 01:10:20,683 --> 01:10:23,413 Last week, we caught her trying to eat a raccoon. 928 01:10:23,519 --> 01:10:26,488 - Really? - She calls us kidnappers. 929 01:10:26,589 --> 01:10:28,989 They are! They are! The old buzzards are! 930 01:10:29,091 --> 01:10:31,389 - Wait, now. - Grandma, please. 931 01:10:31,493 --> 01:10:34,257 Ow! She bit me again, honey! 932 01:10:34,363 --> 01:10:36,627 Better check her for rabies. 933 01:10:36,732 --> 01:10:38,893 - Get two orderlies in here stat! - Poor old dear. 934 01:10:42,104 --> 01:10:45,665 We can't take the heartbreak a minute longer. We need to admit her someplace... 935 01:10:45,774 --> 01:10:49,574 where she can be kept in a straitjacket away from sharp objects and pay phones. 936 01:10:49,678 --> 01:10:52,977 From what you've told me, I'd say that your grandmother... 937 01:10:53,082 --> 01:10:58,714 is a perfect candidate for, uh, electroshock therapy. 938 01:11:03,192 --> 01:11:07,288 And nobody... I repeat nobody... is allowed into the Clampett estate without an invitation. 939 01:11:07,396 --> 01:11:10,331 Sans invitation, non. 940 01:11:10,432 --> 01:11:13,265 Miss jane, this fella's all mad at me 'cause I opened up... 941 01:11:13,369 --> 01:11:14,996 this box of wedding food... 942 01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:17,595 but there ain't nothin' in there but a bunch of snails. 943 01:11:17,706 --> 01:11:21,608 I think the snails got up in there and et all the food. 944 01:11:22,878 --> 01:11:25,346 No problem. Jethro, we'll just buy some more. 945 01:11:25,447 --> 01:11:28,109 And, Henri, the snails go back to the garden where they belong... 946 01:11:28,217 --> 01:11:31,015 s'il vous pl�it. 947 01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:32,985 To your posts. 948 01:11:33,088 --> 01:11:37,218 Everything's going fine, but I have one small question. 949 01:11:37,326 --> 01:11:42,059 Granny has not been available for her fitting, and the wedding is tomorrow. 950 01:11:42,164 --> 01:11:46,328 Hmm. Come to think of it, I ain't seen hide nor hair of Granny since yesterday. 951 01:11:46,435 --> 01:11:49,063 And you're not concerned? 952 01:11:49,171 --> 01:11:53,540 No. She done the same thing when I married Elly May's ma. 953 01:11:53,642 --> 01:11:56,543 Came pourin' in about three days later... 954 01:11:56,645 --> 01:12:00,012 naked as a jaybird and reeking of her medicine. 955 01:12:00,115 --> 01:12:03,243 Hmm. 956 01:12:37,219 --> 01:12:39,585 Play it, George.! 957 01:12:52,134 --> 01:12:53,761 Whoo! 958 01:13:21,730 --> 01:13:24,528 Miss Hathaway, if the immediate family isn't concerned enough... 959 01:13:24,633 --> 01:13:26,999 to file a missing persons report, then there's nothing we can do. 960 01:13:27,102 --> 01:13:29,297 But, Captain Gallo, I suspect foul play. 961 01:13:29,405 --> 01:13:32,340 I'm sorry, but my hands are tied. 962 01:13:37,780 --> 01:13:43,480 But if you're desperate, you might try this guy. 963 01:13:43,585 --> 01:13:48,784 He's expensive, but he's also the best private investigator around. 964 01:13:59,334 --> 01:14:02,269 Oh, this case was pretty easy to crack, Miss Hathaway. 965 01:14:02,371 --> 01:14:07,001 I have met unsavory characters before, but she takes the cake. 966 01:14:08,610 --> 01:14:11,841 Laurette Voleur, a. k. a. Laura Jackson. 967 01:14:11,947 --> 01:14:14,745 A.k. a. Lili Lebecque. 968 01:14:14,850 --> 01:14:18,843 Married 12 times to any guy with a little extra money to throw around. 969 01:14:18,954 --> 01:14:21,081 I should've known. 970 01:14:21,190 --> 01:14:26,059 Voleur. French for "thief. " Now what about Granny? 971 01:14:26,161 --> 01:14:31,064 The old lady is being forcibly held at the Los Viejos Retirement Home... 972 01:14:31,166 --> 01:14:35,068 a disreputable establishment, often cited for patient abuse. 973 01:14:35,170 --> 01:14:38,037 Be tough to break her out. 974 01:14:38,140 --> 01:14:42,042 What a calamity, and the wedding is just hours away. 975 01:14:45,747 --> 01:14:50,411 Reverend, do you think Cousin Bill's gonna be too busy to make it to the weddin'? 976 01:14:57,259 --> 01:14:59,727 Hillary, where did I put that invitation? 977 01:15:02,865 --> 01:15:05,163 Flowers, come here. Quick. 978 01:15:05,267 --> 01:15:09,226 They need tent stakes in the backyard right now. Let's go. 979 01:15:15,711 --> 01:15:19,169 Hello. Clampett residence. Mr. Drysdale? 980 01:15:19,281 --> 01:15:22,944 - I have an urgent call for Mr. Drysdale. - I'll take that. 981 01:15:23,051 --> 01:15:26,452 He works for me. 982 01:15:26,555 --> 01:15:29,524 - Woody Tyler. Can I help you? - Tyler, what are you doing there? 983 01:15:29,625 --> 01:15:32,287 Um, I just dropped by to see if I could be of help. 984 01:15:32,394 --> 01:15:35,124 Tell Mr. Drysdale to stop the wedding. 985 01:15:35,230 --> 01:15:39,963 - Okay. - Laurette is a phony who is after Mr. Clampett's money. 986 01:15:40,068 --> 01:15:42,400 Well, that's not good. 987 01:15:42,504 --> 01:15:46,133 - Do it, Tyler, or your job is toast. - I got it. 988 01:15:50,712 --> 01:15:53,146 - She's getting fat, Mom. - Where is Hathaway? 989 01:15:53,248 --> 01:15:55,079 She was supposed to check in with me hours ago. 990 01:15:55,183 --> 01:15:58,152 - Well, I don't know, dear. - Mr. Drysdale. 991 01:15:58,253 --> 01:16:00,949 - What do you want, Tyler? - Miss Hathaway called. 992 01:16:01,056 --> 01:16:03,547 She said something had come up and to go ahead and start the wedding without her. 993 01:16:03,659 --> 01:16:06,287 - Well, what could have come up? - I wish I knew. 994 01:16:06,395 --> 01:16:08,920 My, what a lovely dog. 995 01:16:09,031 --> 01:16:11,226 Oh, thank you. 996 01:16:11,333 --> 01:16:13,801 Tyler, make yourself useful. Go count the olives. 997 01:16:13,902 --> 01:16:15,802 Oh, yeah. Right away. 998 01:16:15,904 --> 01:16:18,532 Oh, I hate that little worm. 999 01:16:18,640 --> 01:16:22,303 What could possibly be more important than this to Miss Hathaway? 1000 01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:39,027 - Look at that. New nurse. - Yeah. 1001 01:16:39,127 --> 01:16:44,759 - Howdy, Mama! - My baby! Oh! Why! 1002 01:16:44,866 --> 01:16:47,767 My goodness, Beverly Hills has made you so sophisticated. 1003 01:16:47,869 --> 01:16:50,770 Doesn't your twin brother look handsome? 1004 01:16:50,872 --> 01:16:52,999 - Hi, jethro. - Give him a kiss, Jethrine. 1005 01:16:53,108 --> 01:16:56,703 Howdy, Jethro. 1006 01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:09,113 Oh, excuse me. 1007 01:17:12,961 --> 01:17:15,361 - I reckon. - Yep. 1008 01:17:16,832 --> 01:17:18,527 Young man... 1009 01:17:18,634 --> 01:17:22,229 I am here to see Daisy Mae Moses. 1010 01:17:22,337 --> 01:17:24,828 Ah, then you must be here for the rabies test. 1011 01:17:24,940 --> 01:17:28,501 Yes. Rabies test. Exactly right. 1012 01:17:28,610 --> 01:17:30,703 Then you want Room 525. 1013 01:17:32,914 --> 01:17:35,041 Oh, nurse. 1014 01:17:35,150 --> 01:17:37,448 Better be careful. She's a wild one. 1015 01:17:37,552 --> 01:17:40,487 We had to give her electroshock therapy. 1016 01:17:40,589 --> 01:17:43,888 Thank you. 1017 01:17:55,003 --> 01:17:58,370 - Excuse me. - No problem. 1018 01:18:01,443 --> 01:18:05,243 My God. Oh, Granny. 1019 01:18:07,983 --> 01:18:11,714 Your elixir. 1020 01:18:14,289 --> 01:18:17,190 I will take you out of here immediately. 1021 01:18:17,292 --> 01:18:19,192 Your hair is just a bit disheveled. 1022 01:18:19,294 --> 01:18:22,730 Miss Jane? Is that you? 1023 01:18:22,831 --> 01:18:25,891 - 'Tis I. - Oh! 1024 01:18:28,437 --> 01:18:33,374 - Granny says she don't trust Miss Laurette. - Oh. 1025 01:18:33,475 --> 01:18:37,969 Take off that silly hat. 1026 01:18:47,823 --> 01:18:50,951 I heard she's so skinny, you couldn't hit her with a handful of corn. 1027 01:18:56,198 --> 01:19:00,999 Look where they're parking the cars. My God, how tacky. 1028 01:19:02,370 --> 01:19:04,838 This place is turning into a zoo. 1029 01:19:04,940 --> 01:19:09,070 I think she's tryin' to take him for all he's got. 1030 01:19:09,177 --> 01:19:10,769 Hmm. 1031 01:19:20,589 --> 01:19:22,887 Hi there, handsome. 1032 01:19:22,991 --> 01:19:26,119 - You mind if I sit in this chair? - This chair? 1033 01:19:26,228 --> 01:19:28,856 - I was kind of saving... - Thank you. 1034 01:19:31,233 --> 01:19:33,497 Lovely wedding, isn't it? 1035 01:19:35,170 --> 01:19:37,138 Go. 1036 01:19:41,143 --> 01:19:45,102 Oh. We've got to get back. 1037 01:19:45,213 --> 01:19:47,704 I called. I told them to stop the wedding... 1038 01:19:47,816 --> 01:19:49,681 but that Tyler is so incompetent. 1039 01:19:49,785 --> 01:19:53,312 Tyler? Him and Laurette's the ones that stuck me in this hellhole! 1040 01:19:53,421 --> 01:19:56,879 So, stabbed in the back by one of our own. 1041 01:19:56,992 --> 01:19:59,460 And she ain't no foreigner. 1042 01:19:59,561 --> 01:20:01,859 There they are. Stop them. 1043 01:20:27,522 --> 01:20:29,990 Jethro, hold up. 1044 01:20:54,282 --> 01:20:56,580 - Come on. Come on. - Oh, there she is. 1045 01:20:56,685 --> 01:20:59,813 - Come on. Come on. Come on. - Oh, she looks beautiful. 1046 01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:06,059 Oh, I've got the vapors. 1047 01:21:25,413 --> 01:21:27,881 My makeup. 1048 01:21:27,983 --> 01:21:30,918 Oh. 1049 01:21:31,019 --> 01:21:35,115 "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in case of an emergency. 1050 01:21:35,223 --> 01:21:38,784 "Oxygen masks will fall from the overhead compartment. 1051 01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:42,330 "Your seat cushion can be used as a floatin'device. 1052 01:21:42,430 --> 01:21:44,557 - Thus sayeth the Lord. " - Excuse me, Reverend. 1053 01:21:44,666 --> 01:21:47,760 But I believe you're readin' the airplane safety instructions. 1054 01:21:47,869 --> 01:21:50,929 May we skip this part? 1055 01:21:51,039 --> 01:21:54,634 Hathaway had better have a good excuse for not being here. 1056 01:21:55,911 --> 01:21:58,539 Quick, Granny, hurry.! 1057 01:22:00,682 --> 01:22:02,707 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Can I see your invitations, please? 1058 01:22:02,817 --> 01:22:06,514 I'll handle this, Granny. Young man, have you any idea with whom you're speaking? 1059 01:22:06,621 --> 01:22:10,079 I'd say one crazy lady and another one with a bad wig. 1060 01:22:10,191 --> 01:22:12,785 Every strand of this here hair is mine! 1061 01:22:12,894 --> 01:22:14,885 - Ow! - Oh... Oh, Granny, no, no, no! 1062 01:22:14,996 --> 01:22:17,590 No, Granny, no! No, Granny, no! We'll find another way. 1063 01:22:17,699 --> 01:22:21,658 "We are gathered here to unite these two in holy matrimony. " 1064 01:22:25,040 --> 01:22:27,338 - Can we hurry things up, please? - Yes, ma'am. 1065 01:22:29,077 --> 01:22:32,205 Come on. Come on, baby. 1066 01:22:32,314 --> 01:22:35,374 "If any one of y'all has one good reason these two shouldn't be hitched... " 1067 01:22:35,483 --> 01:22:37,849 and it darn tootin' better be a good reason... 1068 01:22:37,953 --> 01:22:41,286 "then speak now or forever hold your peace. " 1069 01:22:43,425 --> 01:22:46,952 - All right, then. "I now pronounce you... " - Please. Please. Please. 1070 01:22:47,062 --> 01:22:49,189 "man and... " 1071 01:22:49,297 --> 01:22:50,889 What in tarnation is that? 1072 01:22:54,669 --> 01:22:58,662 Charge! 1073 01:23:32,841 --> 01:23:35,401 Come on, Granny! 1074 01:23:35,510 --> 01:23:37,944 It is I, Jane Hathaway. 1075 01:23:38,046 --> 01:23:40,344 Hathaway, have you lost your mind? 1076 01:23:40,448 --> 01:23:44,282 She's an impostor. She's marrying Mr. Clampett just to steal his money. 1077 01:23:44,386 --> 01:23:48,584 - That sidewinder Tyler helped her! - I'm ruined! 1078 01:23:48,690 --> 01:23:50,453 Milburn! Milburn! 1079 01:23:53,028 --> 01:23:55,997 Tyler. Let's set up the computer and push the button. 1080 01:23:56,097 --> 01:23:58,292 If I can't have their money, nobody should. 1081 01:23:58,400 --> 01:24:01,062 Quick! 1082 01:24:01,169 --> 01:24:02,602 Okay. 1083 01:24:02,704 --> 01:24:06,003 We'll send their billion bucks bouncin'around so many banks... 1084 01:24:06,107 --> 01:24:09,076 - they'll never find it. - It's all set. 1085 01:24:09,177 --> 01:24:12,977 All we got to do is push that button. 1086 01:24:13,081 --> 01:24:15,549 You rustic, nose-picking, inbred yokels! 1087 01:24:15,650 --> 01:24:19,984 - You're all about to be poor again. - Think again. 1088 01:24:34,035 --> 01:24:37,027 No, you don't, you schemin'skunk.! 1089 01:24:37,138 --> 01:24:39,163 Wait'll I get my hands on you! 1090 01:24:39,274 --> 01:24:42,641 Oh, Pa, you must be so disappointed. 1091 01:24:42,744 --> 01:24:44,871 A little. 1092 01:24:44,979 --> 01:24:47,504 But, Elly May, I was mainly marryin' Miss Laurette... 1093 01:24:47,615 --> 01:24:50,243 'cause I thought you wanted her for your new ma. 1094 01:24:52,821 --> 01:24:55,654 - I'm so sorry, Pa. - Don't be sorry. 1095 01:24:55,757 --> 01:24:57,952 I love you just the way you are. 1096 01:24:58,059 --> 01:25:00,755 I reckon I oughta raise you up to be who you want to be. 1097 01:25:00,862 --> 01:25:05,196 Well, I don't need a new ma, not as long as I got you and Granny. 1098 01:25:07,035 --> 01:25:10,664 Hot dog, Miss Jane! You sure are a good shot. 1099 01:25:10,772 --> 01:25:12,899 Well, thank you, Jethro. 1100 01:25:13,007 --> 01:25:13,996 - Whoo! - Got ya! 1101 01:25:14,109 --> 01:25:17,237 Well, folks, I guess you can say... 1102 01:25:17,345 --> 01:25:20,007 things didn't turn out quite the way we planned. 1103 01:25:20,115 --> 01:25:24,518 So, since there ain't gonna be no hitchin'... 1104 01:25:24,619 --> 01:25:26,951 and we're all here anyway... 1105 01:25:28,957 --> 01:25:33,519 I say we have one hellacious shindig. 1106 01:25:33,628 --> 01:25:35,823 Yeah.! 1107 01:25:42,103 --> 01:25:46,233 - Let go of me.! - Here, boys. She's all yours! 1108 01:25:53,581 --> 01:25:55,481 Let go of my hand! 1109 01:26:11,432 --> 01:26:14,367 - Hey! Nobody treats my pa that way! - Shut up! 1110 01:26:19,941 --> 01:26:23,035 How's that for ladylike, you old money-grubber? 1111 01:26:28,850 --> 01:26:31,444 Come on, city boy, let's dance. 1112 01:26:31,553 --> 01:26:33,953 All right, stand back! 1113 01:26:39,294 --> 01:26:41,455 You're under arrest for kidnapping... 1114 01:26:41,563 --> 01:26:43,463 attempted embezzlement and fraud. 1115 01:26:43,565 --> 01:26:46,864 Oh, right.! It was all Tyler's idea. 1116 01:26:53,508 --> 01:26:56,409 I admit it freely. It was all her idea. 1117 01:26:56,511 --> 01:27:01,210 I always fall in love with the wrong kind of man. 1118 01:27:01,316 --> 01:27:04,080 - Clean up that cake. - Don't step on the train. 1119 01:27:04,185 --> 01:27:08,144 I'll wait for you, honey. 1120 01:27:11,559 --> 01:27:15,154 Well, where was she? She... Oh.! 1121 01:27:15,263 --> 01:27:19,097 - Oh, well... - Whee doggie! 1122 01:27:33,615 --> 01:27:36,482 Whoo.! Yeah.! That's good. 1123 01:27:49,230 --> 01:27:51,858 Thank you. 1124 01:27:51,966 --> 01:27:55,834 That's just about right. Oops! 1125 01:27:55,937 --> 01:27:58,963 It's a shame they had to file for bankruptcy. 1126 01:27:59,073 --> 01:28:01,701 I just hope my call to the I.R.S. didn't have... 1127 01:28:01,809 --> 01:28:04,505 - Oh, I shouldn't open it. Sorry. - No problem. We'll do it again. 1128 01:28:04,612 --> 01:28:06,170 But I got there... 1129 01:28:06,281 --> 01:28:09,079 That old lady is, uh... 1130 01:28:09,183 --> 01:28:11,811 That old lady is... I'm sorry. 1131 01:28:11,919 --> 01:28:14,353 - That's okay. - She's gettin' pretty old by now, I'll tell ya. 1132 01:28:14,455 --> 01:28:16,480 Still rolling. 1133 01:28:18,192 --> 01:28:21,650 - Okay. Give me a big smile. - I can't get any bigger. 1134 01:28:26,434 --> 01:28:28,732 So, uh, what happened? 1135 01:28:28,836 --> 01:28:32,328 Actually, he slapped me. 1136 01:28:38,946 --> 01:28:42,074 Why don't you come up here? Let me take a good look at you. 1137 01:28:43,918 --> 01:28:47,149 Jim. Jim? They're gettin'worried about you. 1138 01:28:51,759 --> 01:28:55,217 - Not even a bridesmaid. - I gotta do this again. 1139 01:29:05,440 --> 01:29:07,567 Action.! 1140 01:29:10,978 --> 01:29:13,105 We've got... No, we've got to get back. 1141 01:29:13,214 --> 01:29:15,842 I called, I told them to postpone the... 1142 01:29:15,950 --> 01:29:17,850 - I lost my purse. - It's right here. 1143 01:29:17,952 --> 01:29:21,251 - How did you get it? - I don't know. 1144 01:29:21,356 --> 01:29:24,723 Jethro? Come on down here. 1145 01:29:24,826 --> 01:29:27,090 Likely as not, there's another family lives up here... 1146 01:29:27,195 --> 01:29:28,958 there. 92352