All language subtitles for The.Substitute.2007.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

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Once upon a time
there was a blue planet... Earth.

On this planet some
6 billion people lived together, -

- for better or for worse,
in war, in love.

But there was also life
on another planet.

Its population was not as diverse:
they only knew war, not love.

So mankind had something
they really wanted...

... namely: love.
That is how our story begins...

... and things are
going to get a lot worse.

THE SUBSTITUTE

"The Most Powerful Force
in the Universe" -

- is Jesper Osboell's
sensational book...

Blow me if that ain't that fox...

What are ye at?

Ye knows I want peace and quiet
after seven p.m.!

Get me?

I never seed
such a flock of lousy chick'ns.

Pull yer socks up!
That goes for you, too.

Yeah, you.
You heard me.

Come here.

Come here.

You write "man has an ability
possessed by no other...

"...the ability to love, to show
compassion, empathy".

"Love makes man unique". Jesper
Osboell, these are great words.

Well, we aren't exactly
physical masterpieces:

We can't live under
water, we can't fly, -

- we can't run
very fast, we get cold easily.

However, we are sublime
at buoying each other up.

- We possess the ability to love.
- Exactly.

The most powerful force
in the universe.

Well, that's perhaps an
oversimplification, but...

... our ability to feel empathy
makes us unique as individuals.

- Whom do you love?
- Me?

I'm just saying you look
much cuter with short hair.

I'd much rather have long hair.

- I look stupid.
- You look cute.

I don't want to talk about it.

It's ugly, ugly, ugly, it's ugly,
ugly, ugly, it's ugly...

- Lots of boys my age have long hair.
- Ugly, ugly, ugly...

Nice, nice, nice...

"This is my daughter.
Caroline."

No, mum, my name's Carl.

- I like it and so does dad.
- He has no idea.

Just look at the clothes he wears!

Does this look OK?

- Something stinks.
- What's that smell?

Is it the hair or the gear he's
wearing? You're disgusting.

You smell like a cow.

Do you want to hear a story?

Once there were two testicles:
one called Tobias; the other, Malthe.

- And they were really, really sad.
- Albert, you're sick.

- Because they were homeless.
- Why were they homeless?

- Because they had no prick.
- Very funny.

Excuse me... excuse me, children.
could we have a wee bit of quiet?

First of all I'd awfully like to
introduce you to, er...?

- Rikke.
- Rikke's new. Do be nice to her.

Rikke comes from...?

- Aalborg.
- Aalborg. Aalborg is...

... up north, but you know that.
Rikke's moved here with her...

- Mum.
- Yes, I knew that, Rikke.

I think there's room
for you over there.

And Jette has come down with
a bad case of salmonella poisoning.

Anyway,
every cloud has a silver lining.

- But, sir! Sir!
- So you're to have a substitute.

And I can assure you
you are really fortunate because...

Yes, Lotte?

My mum and dad
are teachers.

They say substitute teachers have
to be as good as ordinary ones.

Or the teaching will be much
worse while our teacher is ill -

- and we won't learn as much.

What exactly
did you want to ask me, Lotte?

Is she a real teacher
who's just as good as Jette?

Ulla has been seconded here
from the ministry of education.

Ulla wants a class
to represent Denmark -

- in a super EU project.
You'll be given tests -

- and if you are REALLY good, -

- well, you will all be
getting a trip to Paris!

You can have the rest of the day off.

Aren't we going to be given
any homework for today at all?

Carl? Haven't you
got an appointment with Claus?

I hear you're still not getting
on with the rest of your class?

Really.

You have this hatred inside you;
I understand that.

Shall we talk about
your mother today?

I had a dream about her last night.

She's lying on the bed.
I'm watching her.

She reaches out to me.
She strokes my cheek.

That's good, Carl, it's really good.

She whispers to me...

Do you remember what she whispers?

"I am going to die,
my son."

"But promise that no matter what,
you will go on living. Live, live!"

Did she really say that?

Then I hear this noise.

A flapping sound.
Something lands at the window.

- An angel?
- A giant chicken.

And suddenly it does this whacking
great pile of chicken crap.

But the weird thing is,
the crap begins to move.

And out of it comes
a miniature version of you.

You're standing there
covered in crap -

- waving at me.

- And then you speak.
- What do I say, Carl?

"Hello, I'm Claus,
the school psychologist -

- and I am so stupid
I'll believe anything".

See you
next Wednesday, right?

Yes. See you.

Goddammit!

- I'm sorry, kids...
- It's not as bad as it usually is.

- Some of it's OK.
- I am a cliché.

- What's a cliché?
- A useless lone dad.

We'll manage.
It'll just take some time.

- Daddy?
- Yes, sweetie?

Do you have a bird?

What?!

You're all scratchy.
That's probably why not.

Sofie. We are with the person
we love. And I love your mummy.

But...

... she's dead
and I want a new one.

One you can touch.

Now sit down and eat your...

Men like ladies otherwise,
don't they?

- Well, Sofie, monks don't.
- What are monks?

Men who don't want to be with ladies.

And nuns are ladies
who don't want to be with men.

- So daddy's a monk.
- Yes.

- What did Psycho-Claus say?
- Are you going to be taken away?

Better get that straitjacket on.

- Cut the crap.
- I'm just taking an interest.

- What are you at?
- Giving you something to cry about.

Hello...

So this is 6B?

welcome to our prickstitute.

Would you like to explain
what a "prickstitute" is?

- You wrote it, didn't you?
- Yes.

So I am a "prickstitute"?
What's that, Albert?

Just a play on words?
"Prick" instead of "sub"?

Or is it easier to pronounce "prick"
than "sub" with protruding teeth?

Do you find drinking
awfully difficult?

It was only a bit of fun.

There's nothing like a good laugh,
is there, Lotte?

Do you mind coming up here to
correct the spelling?

And shut your mouth
so you don't scratch the floor.

6B. I must say it is odd
being in the company -

- of so many such
astonishingly untalented children.

I am not used to being
with so many stupid people.

What's she on about?

About the fact that there is nothing
going on in your heads at all.

Only stupidity,
stupidity, stupidity.

- Hey, our class...
- Put your hand up! Camilla?

- What I wanted to say was...
- Wait!

- Yes, Camilla?
- Our marks are better than average.

You're smarter than
an earthworm, right?

But does that make you Albert
Einstein? No. Or does it, Phillip?

- I don't think you can...
- Speak only when spoken to!

- Lotte?
- We've heard of those surveys...

But my mum and dad know lots
because they're teachers and...

Stop Lotte! Your mouth
is like a hamster, little Lotte.

Running round and round in
its treadmill getting nowhere.

If you spoke less you'd say
fewer silly things. Albert?

- I think you are just totally nice.
- Why, thank you! How sweet!

No! I meant mean! I think you
are just totally nice... mean!

You are also totally nice, Albert.
6B, before we're through -

- I promise you will be
the cleverest pupils in the universe.

Even you, Malthe.

- We're only in year 6...
- Hand up, Rikke! Yes, Rikke?

- We're only in Year 6.
- And?

You make it sound
as if we ought to know everything.

Where I come from
we do know everything.

- Nobody knows everything.
- I know everything. Try me.

What's 634 times 967?

- 613078. Simple.
- What's my little brother called?

Jonas.

- Who scored the first goal in...
- Ronaldo.

But worshipping him won't help
you unless you lose some weight.

What's 2,622,946 divided by 5124?

511.89422326.
Just mental gymnastics.

- Who's the head designer at BMW?
- Chris Bangle.

- Who is Tobias in love with?
- He snogs you but loves Camilla.

WRONG! No, he does not!

But Camilla isn't in love with
Tobias. Camilla is in love with...

Albert?!

What?

Silence!

What am I thinking right now?

Carl! Humans can't read minds,
but in your case it is easy.

All you ever think about is your
poor dead mummy in heaven.

So right now you are forcing yourself
to think of something else entirely:

Pancakes and ice cream.

Thank you, 6B. I look forward
to working with you. Run along!

She can't do this! She's sick!
She can't talk to us like that!?

That bit about
your teeth was pretty funny.

I've heard of those studies
about attainment levels.

- We are pretty thick.
- Yes, we are.

- I'm not going to Paris with her.
- Teachers can't talk like that.

- I'm going to tell.
- That stuff about Carl and his mum.

- Are you just going to swallow it?
- What were you thinking about?

This is a list of every teacher
in Denmark: no Ulla Harms.

So I check
the ministry of education.

No Ulla Harms.
Right: I try the national register, -

- where everybody
in the country is listed.

No Ulla Harms.

And what are you driving at?

Ulla Harms does not exist.

No, I'm not going anywhere.

What?

Keeping my trap shut.

If they want to be messed
around by her, let them.

Dad?? No, dad's still lost the plot -

- but I've got a grip.
Sofie's fine, right, Sofie?

- Yes, I'm fine. Can she hear us?
- Sure she can.

Come to supper, mum!
And my red top has got spots on.

If you've got time
you can come home and wash it!

And you'd better tuck me up
because Carl always farts in bed.

I can't hear anything.

Carl!

In here. Not up there.

We just moved into number 14.
It was all a bit of a rush.

The last stuff got here
last night. I'm Maria.

Hi. Jesper.

- And you are...
- This is Sofie.

Hi, Sofie.

You have to be a bit careful about
... two on a bike... and no helmets.

Of course.

The police come down pretty hard out
here, too. I've had several fines...

Oh? So you're a... oh, you are
one of... I mean you work for...

And I saw you on telly, of course.
Love makes man unique.

You think so?

- Wasn't that your point?
- Oh, yes.

It was a rather flashy
way of putting it.

Altruistic love,
the ability to empathize -

- is a special ability
only possessed by man...

My dad's a monk.

- Is he?
- Because he doesn't have a bird.

Really?

- Are you a nun?
- Definitely not, Sofie.

So you can be
my dad's new girlfriend.

That's enough, Sofie. Come on,
let's go upstairs. Let's go home.

- Were you dreaming?
- No, I just need a glass of water.

- How's your new substitute teacher?
- She's okay.

- So it's a she. Is she nice?
- She's just a substitute.

Anyone interesting?

- What do you mean?
- Nothing.

- Good night, dad.
- Good night.

Run, run, run.
Faster, faster, faster.

Get those knees up, Camilla!
Come on!

So it hurts.
So you feel it.

What are you doing standing there,
Carl? Join the flock!

Come on, come on!

Faster, faster, faster!

Run!

And STOP!

And there was Alexander,
Achilles and Caesar.

There was Mozart and Stravinsky.
And there was Michelangelo.

And then there were you lot.

What a sorry bunch of weak,
sweaty little dumplings!

Do you really belong to the same
race as Mozart? And Caesar?

I don't think so. You look more
like dollops of cold porridge.

Today we are going to learn
about the special ability -

- that makes mankind
quite unique.

Up you go, Carl!

- I can't.
- Of course you can.

- Carl's scared of heights.
- Up the rope, Carl.

- I'll fall.
- You'd better get it together.

Or your pals will have to go on
running until they throw up.

Up you go, Carl!

If you could survive a car crash
I expect you'll survive this as well.

You can't do this!

How dare you!
Don't do it, Carl!

Very good!

Man is unique -

- because he has an ability possessed
by nothing else in the universe.

A unique ability that despite your
enormous lack of brainpower -

- makes you one of the strongest
individuals in the universe.

Imagine you're on your way up
to your dead mummy in heaven!

Your dead mummy.
She's up there waiting for you.

Do you see her, Carl?

Did you see her?

Did you see her, Carl?

You can't do this! You're meant to
be our teacher, not a wicked witch!

Bravo, Lotte! Now listen well.

I'm teaching you something
very, very important.

Very, very important.

What kind of ability is this?
Come along, look at Carl.

Look at the poor boy!

What is the ability that
you're showing right now?

Carl was under pressure and you
gave him your support at once.

What kind of unique ability is this?

Come on, pull your
socks up!

You wanted to show us that we are
unique because we can empathize.

Bravo Philip! Bravo!

Precisely: empathy!

If one of your group
is put to the knife -

- the rest of you immediately
empathize. Fantastic, Philip.

Super duper. OK.
A+. Good. Fine.

No other race
possesses this ability.

- You certainly don't.
- Children...

- I think you're simply fantastic.
- And you're the nicest.

- I mean the nastiest.
- Tobias! You're nice, too.

- You're the nicest.
- No, you're the nicest.

Well, I'd like to welcome
you all to this extraordinary...

Ulla has been at the ministry today
and she'll be a few minutes late, -

- but I see no reason
not to kick off.

We're not too happy
about this whole situation -

- so we've also invited Claus,
who will say a few words...

Carl! Carl!

- Is it in there?
- Why didn't you mention this?

- It wasn't important.
- Come on, let's go inside.

Kids are junkies.

They are addicted
to their imaginations.

They spend hours a day -

- staring at fascinating, fantastic,
fairytale universes on video.

But when the screen's turned off
they're turfed out into this:

Real life!

A grey, boring Monday!
Dull as ditch water.

What do they do about it?

In their boundless, insatiable,
almost neurotic need for thrills, -

- what do they do?
They simply morph reality!

They morph reality
to suit themselves.

No matter how pathological
their imaginations are.

Of course I am not saying
that your children are insane.

But we have to be very cautious -

- about believing
everything they say -

- or their inventions.

Because children can
invent practically anything.

Thank you all for listening.
Thank you.

Thank you, Claus.

That was really an important
thing to mention...

- Any questions?
- Yes!

It's a shock when she comes home
with nothing good to say about her.

The minister of education!

I just had to say hello
to you parents.

Ulla praises
your children so highly.

And when she gives praise,
I know there are good reasons.

Ulla is the best,
simply the best.

And your splendid children
are going to show Europe -

- that our pupils
are the best.

The best in the world.

And I am sure
you will discover -

- that your children are
in the very safest of hands.

Friends, -

- we are all
a bit afraid of new things.

In this case I am the new one.

Another new thing here is -

- that your children
have enormous potential -

- which I feel has never
been exploited to the fullest.

But...

I get upset when neither you
nor your children trust me.

Believe me:

I am not a monster, -

- merely honest.

Honesty can hurt sometimes,
especially youngsters.

But believe me: I love them.

I adore their wisdom,
their imagination -

- and their defiance!

Their emotions
for better or for worse -

- because after all, that's
what it is all about. Emotions.

Emotions are surely
what make man so unique.

That is why I am here...

I'm sorry. I just get so upset.
I'm sorry.

Where were you, Carl?

Ulla?

She's here.

Ulla, I think there are some people
who'd really like to say a few words.

Ulla, things merely got off
on slightly the wrong foot.

Many of us
owe you an apology.

In particular, our children owe you
an apology.

Sorry...

Albert, Albert, Albert...

Sorry.

Phillip! Say sorry!

- Carl, what are you doing here?
- I need to talk to you, Phillip.

And the Minister of Education
came out of a ball?

Are you on medication?

I asked her
if she could read my mind.

Humans can't read minds, she said.

She guessed right:
pancakes and ice cream.

Is that what you were thinking?

No humans...

We must tell the others.

No, then they'll really think
I've gone mad.

- Then why did you tell me?
- You're a bit mad yourself.

You're right.

- And you found this in her bag?
- Strange signs.

Let's show them to my dad. He knows
everything about languages.

You found this stuff in a box
of cornflakes. It's nonsense.

What about this map?

It says something weird.

It's just backwards. Look:
Jens Peter Hansen's Poultry Farm.

We don't know where it was taken.
But it's weird -

- the way they're all just
standing there.

It really is strange.

Really, really strange.

How did you make this?
You're in it, both of you. Look!

What are you up to?

- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Yeah.

There are more of us
in the picture now.

This is a picture of us that doesn't
exist. We were never there.

You are even madder than Carl.

That's me there, that is.

Me, Carl, Camilla, Tobias, Laura,
Lotte and now you.

More and more of us
keep appearing.

Get a grip!
Anyone can do that in PhotoShop.

Don't you see it?
He's trying to drive us all nuts.

Hi, Carl.

I think we need to talk.

Are you sure
you got this from her bag?

- Why?
- A photo of us?

- Where we've never been?
- Did you do it?

- What are you up to, Carl?
- You're sick.

I don't give a toss what you think.

I don't give a toss about
what any of you think.

- Yeah, you're really good at that.
- At what?

Not giving a toss about anything.

Something is well wrong.
Yet you don't give a toss.

- Well, I'm sick, right?
- Yes.

You're as dead as your mum.

My mum's not dead.

- Are your teeth okay?
- Did it hurt?

- Yes.
- Good.

- Pack it in! You never let up.
- And you never shut up...

- What was that for?
- To shut you up.

We should save our energy for her.

Carl, tell the others
what you told me.

Carl, straight up:
are you on medication?

I believe you.

- Me, too.
- I'm sorry, Carl.

Sorry.

That's OK.

- Let's check out her house.
- Phillip found the address.

- What number did you say it was?
- No. 1.

Shall we see
if she's home?

- It's pitch black in there.
- Do you think she's home?

- What are you doing?
- What's wrong? It's locked.

And what if it hadn't been?

You're not serious?

- This is too bloody dangerous.
- Albert is right for once.

Come on. Let's go.

- We can't stand around here.
- We're staying.

- Shouldn't someone stand guard?
- Got your cell phone on you?

Phone Camilla's number
if Ulla Harms turns up.

How weird!

Nobody can live here.

Hey! Get a look at this!

That's us in the picture.

And your dad.

I don't like it. It's too dangerous.
Albert was right.

Did you hear that?

She's coming!

The light!

Hi, Albert. Do you have Camilla's
number? Just give it to me!

Thanks.

Get in!

Hurry!

- What in the hell are you doing?
- Saving your inquisitive arses!

She's a...

She's a...

She's a...

Monster.

Ulla Harms is not a human being.

And, er, the minister of education
kind of... came out of a ball?

You know I know it sounds insane.
But I saw it.

As psycho-Claus said:
They change reality.

I could tell you were having
a hard time with Ulla; but...

No more electronic games!

- Let's call Psycho-Claus.
- May I make a suggestion?

It's only 10.15.
We could ring Ulla.

- Take the bull by the horns.
- And we do have a police presence.

- I see no point in putting it off.
- I'll call her right away.

And you'll be able
to see for yourselves!

What a lot of people!

What a to-do!
But how lovely to see you all!

So this is where I live.

- What's happened?
- Typical.

- I told you so.
- It didn't look like this before.

I knew it.
I knew it, Laura.

I've just popped a cake into the
oven. I'll just go and check on it.

- It didn't look like this before.
- Phillip.

- It's just like a movie.
- This isn't a movie. It's for real.

I'm sorry, I love pulling people's
legs. The kids hate me for it.

I think we need a nice cold
beer or a cognac?

A cup of really strong coffee
after such a hectic evening?

- What can I get you?
- A boiled egg?

- What did you say?
- How about a boiled egg?

Carl with his vivid imagination!
So much is happening to you.

- What's happening to me?
- This may not be the place...

Carl, you are
emerging from your shell.

And that's great to see.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What do you feel like?

- Maybe we should tell them?
- Now? Yes, why not?

As I told Jesper on the phone,
I have decided.

We will be going to Paris.

- I'm not going to Paris!
- Hold your tongue, young man.

Ulla?

I don't know what you're planning,
but I know you are a nice hamster...

I mean nasty monster
... nice hamster...

And you are a nice
little hamster too, Albert.

Shouldn't Albert have
braces on those teeth?

- I'm not going!
- There's no more to be said.

- In that case I'll leave home.
- Oh, come on!

It'll do you good.
It'll be a challenge.

- A challenge?!
- Precisely.

You spend far too much time
in your own little sick world...

... in the past...

Carl... Carl...

It wasn't fair, mum dying.

Mum isn't dead;
mum's just somewhere else.

And she won't be coming back.

Carl...

Carl, we both need
to move on.

I'm sure that mum
is sitting up there somewhere -

- looking down on us -

- thinking "Those two
should be having some fun".

"The people I love".

I think we deserve
to laugh again -

- and run
around being silly.

- You know what I did?
- No.

I bought you a white shirt.
A chalk-white shirt.

You're crazy.

I look as if I'm off
to my own confirmation.

What's going on?
And where's Sofie at?

- We're having somebody for dinner.
- Anyone I know?

Yes, you know her.

Ahah? Then I can guess.

Did you bring Rikke?

Hi, Carl.

- Cheers, and thanks for the invite!
- Thanks for coming. Cheers!

Carl!

A bit much, isn't it? Your dad
asking "Miss for dinner"?

- Maybe it wasn't such a good idea?
- It was a great idea. Right, Carl?

- Just what does your plan involve?
- What?

What's the name of your planet?

Carl...

I'm sorry...

It's mine. It rings all the time.

Carl, Carl, Carl.

Ulla, Ulla, Ulla.

- My little Carl.
- My little Ulla.

- What do you want with my dad?
- We like each other, that's all.

Ulla...

I know you are an alien.

Oh.

You mean one of these?

- Anything important?
- A journalist about my book.

Let's eat before it gets cold.

Carl, why don't you pass the dish?
Carl, wake up.

You look like you've seen a monster.

... and all of a sudden she'd gone.
From one day to the next.

I thought I'd never
be human again.

Ulla, have
you ever been in love?

Jesper, I don't know what it means.

I am sure you do really.

Where I come from
there is no such thing as love.

I am sorry to hear it. But what
about your mum and dad?

My mum ate my dad.

He was "eaten up by" her, quite
simply? It's pretty common.

Many marriages end in hell.
Did she smother him?

- What?
- Wrapped her arms round him.

- Sucked the life out of him.
- Yes.

Where I come from
that's actually what we do.

You find a mate, have his babies
and then eat him.

Goodness! Your family
quite simply bears original sin?

So I need to learn about love.
To stop us destroying ourselves.

That is exactly why I wrote my book.

Tell me what you do.

Do?

You get a feel for each other.
You show compassion.

- You feel your heart go crazy.
- And then you become invincible?

Invincible?

Oh, that's a bit of
an oversimplification, perhaps.

But yes,
I do believe love conquers all.

- Hi.
- Hi, Maria.

I'm sorry.
She wouldn't sleep.

She insisted on coming home.

- Never mind.
- Daddy.

- Hi, Maria. How's Rikke?
- Fine.

- Come in for a glass of wine.
- I ought to be getting back...

- Here you are!
- Thanks.

I'll see you tomorrow.

We'll have to see
if we can get all the kids to go.

- It's a long drive.
- We'll be stopping.

- In Southern Jutland.
- Southern Jutland, yes.

There's a lovely holiday camp.

We know this is super hard
for some of you.

To be quite frank
Ulla is dreadfully upset.

This will be the last
you ever see of your son.

He's going to vanish forever.

And for the rest of your lives
the thought will torment you.

"We sent our little boy away to a
place from whence he never returned!"

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

But Ulla has found a sensible
answer and here it comes: Jesper.

Children! I am Carl's dad
and I'm coming along!

I will provide a reliable link
between you and your parents.

I'm sure we'll have a splendid trip.
Let's just get on the coach.

- You might have told me.
- The driver phoned Ulla.

Salmonella. And as I've got
my commercial vehicle license...

Dad, you're so full of surprises.

Holiday, holiday, holiday
Now we are really free

Sing a happy melody

Smiles and laughter in the sun

It will shine
till our holiday's done

Holiday, holiday, holiday...

This is the place.

And now your dad's in it too.

Yuck, what a spooky place, eh?

Bunk beds!
A real spine chiller, eh, Tobias?

Wrap it, Malthe!

You wrap it. You're all
suffering from paranoia!

- You are so pig ignorant.
- Are you afraid she'll eat us?

It's only for one night.
we're moving on tomorrow.

- To Paris.
- Or Gondor.

We'll never make it to Paris.

Isn't travel just great?

Ulla, I'm so glad
you found a need for me.

Maybe.

But I certainly need Jesper.

I definitely need you, too, Ulla.

I think we should visit
the poultry farm tomorrow.

Visit the farm. They'd
like to show us around.

That's a good idea.

I have some preparation to do.

Sexy.

Ulla Harms intends
to take us to her planet.

- We are her guinea pigs.
- I don't get it.

My dad wrote a book about the most
powerful force in the universe.

- The atom bomb?
- Love.

Carl the Hippie! What's got into
you? Fallen in love?

Hey, come and look at this!

What's she doing?

What's she doing?

- She's preparing.
- For what?

To take us away.

Ulla? What are you doing?

I was just wondering
if you felt like sharing your bed?

Ulla, I really think
you need a man.

"Ulla, I really think
you need a man".

- Are you sure you can drive it?
- Easy as pie.

- What about the noise?
- We'll push it down the hill.

Come on! Get on quick!
Get on! Come on!

Where's Carl? Hello!
Where's Carl? Carl!

Go for it!

- I think you're great.
- So do I. I mean: you are.

Come on, Albert!
Step on it! Go, Albert!

What about my dad?

He'll be all right.

My dears...

... this coach will never get us -

- where we're going.

Say goodbye
to your last day on Earth.

- Cut it out, you moron!
- Why a poultry farm?

It is important to know where
what you eat comes from.

City kids like us have no idea
where it comes from.

Now we'll know where
chicken comes from.

- Anyone seen my computer?
- Have you noticed the kids?

- This trip is already helping.
- Give me a break!

They're their old selves again.

A pity Claus's wife came down
with that salmonella poisoning.

Make a turn here.

- Is it a battery hen farm?
- Yes.

Where they have thousands of
chickens crammed into tiny cages?

They might as well get
used to it right away.

We're here. Let's go!

Ulla?

Ulla!

- What's the idea?
- Just go inside.

Just go inside.
Wait inside.

Go on!

Go on!

Well, let's do it then, kids.
It might well be educational.

Probably.

Maybe.

What are you waiting for?

Come out into the farmyard, Carl.
We'll be leaving in a moment...

What are you doing?

Where are the others?

Look at me!

Leave here or I'll shoot!

Mum?

Carl, my sweet boy.

My beloved little angel...
please put that gun down.

Stop it!
How dare you!

- You're not my mum!
- Why are you saying that?

Because my mum is dead.

Stop right there!

Where are they?! Where are they?!

Carl!

- What the hell are you all doing?
- Get us out of here!

- Wait! Wait! The ball...
- Yes, there was a ball.

If you destroy it,
you'll destroy her, too!

Carl!

- Carl?
- Stop right there!

I can't destroy it.

The grinder!
It'll destroy anything.

Get to the grinder
crush the ball!

- Where is it?
- The barn behind the silo.

Where's my sphere? Where's my sphere?

Carl!

Stop! Not a single step closer!

I'm sorry.

Carl. It's just that...
There I am with no love, -

- looking down on you people
who have so much love.

I just want
someone to love me.

That's all.
Is that too much to ask?

But it just seems like a no-go
because "No, love's not allowed".

Do you understand what
it feels like to want to be loved?

All I want is love, Carl.

- Why won't anybody love me?!
- Ulla, Ulla. Ulla?

- Yes?
- No, It's not working.

No...

Come on, I could be your mum, Carl.
I could be the one -

- who makes breakfast with you,
helps you with your homework, -

- who says "good morning" to you
and you say "morning, mum".

But hey! There's dad! "Hey, dad!"
You see, I haven't eaten him.

What if I ate him...
but of course I wouldn't.

We could snuggle up
in the evenings by candle light.

- What?
- You'd make a lousy stepmother.

Dad!

Are you okay?

I'm sorry.

I think you'd look lovely
with long hair.

Is it all right if I kiss you?

Best not.

Our story ends with a kiss.

For despite all the wars
and all the monsters, -

- all stories end with
two pairs of lips -

- meeting
to make peace.

That's why the Earth sings
and why the Earth is ours.

And that's why
there is always warmth on Earth.

English subtitles
Jonathan Sydenham