All language subtitles for Monk (2002) - S08E09 - Happy Birthday, Mr. Monk (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 RZeroX)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:31,525 [Compactor sputtering] 2 00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,804 - Wait... no, no, no! 3 00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,272 Don't, don't, don't! 4 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:20,574 Don't... no... no! 5 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,176 [Screaming] 6 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:33,554 [Randy Newman ragtime theme] 7 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,956 ? It's a jungle out there 8 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:40,661 ? disorder and confusion everywhere ? 9 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,796 ? No one seems to care 10 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:43,897 ? well, I do 11 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:46,967 ? hey, who's in charge here? 12 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,571 ? It's a jungle out there 13 00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:53,641 ? poison in the very air we breathe ? 14 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,909 ? Do you know what's in the water that you drink? ? 15 00:02:55,943 --> 00:03:00,381 ? Well, I do, and it's a-ma-zing ? 16 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,917 ? People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time ? 17 00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:07,255 ? If you paid attention, you'd be worried too ? 18 00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:11,925 ? You'd better pay attention or this world we love so much ? 19 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,828 ? Might just kill you 20 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,698 ? I could be wrong now 21 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,767 ? but I don't think so 22 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,270 ? 'cause it's a jungle out there ? 23 00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:25,373 ? It's a jungle out there ? 24 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:30,978 - How about a watch? 25 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,513 - I already have a watch. 26 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,547 - Some people have two. 27 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,716 - Why would I want two? 28 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,418 Look, if you have one wristwatch 29 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:38,662 you always know what time it is. 30 00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:39,896 If you have two, you're never sure. 31 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:40,954 - Mr. Monk, come on. 32 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,299 I have to get you something it's your birthday. 33 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:43,657 - Don't remind me. 34 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:44,868 - And not just any birthday, you're 50 years old. 35 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:45,859 That's a milestone. 36 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,862 - Okay, look, you know, you don't understand. 37 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:49,930 - Shh! 38 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,832 He's coming. He's coming. 39 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:54,768 - If you buy me something then I have to pretend to like it. 40 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,346 And then I have to remember to thank you 41 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,738 and then I have to return it. 42 00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,741 And it's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. 43 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,976 Where is everybody? 44 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,978 - Oh, they're probably in the captain's office. 45 00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:07,915 He said it was very important. 46 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,017 - Where are the cups? - What cups? 47 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,819 - All the cups and the paper plates. 48 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,655 Yesterday there was a big pile here. 49 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,757 - I don't know. We're... we're late, come on. 50 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,660 - Wait... 51 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:20,861 A minute. 52 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:29,637 - Uh-oh! 53 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:33,040 - What are you doing? 54 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,975 - I knew it. 55 00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:41,425 - Why'd the captain want to see me, again? 56 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:43,317 - I told you, it's a double homicide 57 00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:44,718 in marin county. 58 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,887 - You said triple homicide. - I don't think so. 59 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,756 - Hey, you said triple. 60 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:49,623 All right... 61 00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,100 What happened, did somebody get better? 62 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:55,963 Natalie... 63 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,365 It's a party isn't it. 64 00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,767 It's a surprise party. 65 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,402 - No, Mr. Monk, I would never do that. 66 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:02,636 I know how you hate parties. 67 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,938 - Nice try, teeger. 68 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:05,906 - Okay, okay, okay, okay... 69 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,541 Mr. Monk, okay. 70 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:08,542 It's a surprise party, 71 00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:09,777 can't you just play along? 72 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,912 - I don't wanna play along. 73 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,122 - Come on, everybody's chipped in. 74 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,082 We've been planning it for weeks. 75 00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,488 - I can't. 76 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,556 I can't do it. 77 00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,358 I hate birthdays. 78 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,132 - What were we thinking? 79 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:36,003 He's the best detective in the world. 80 00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:39,148 - Uh-uh, I am not giving up, Mr. Monk. 81 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,808 You're officially on notice. 82 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:41,975 I am throwing you a party. 83 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:42,910 - As a matter of fact, you are not. 84 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,078 - Oh, yes I am... We're gonna have balloons 85 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:45,879 and cake and dancing. 86 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:48,015 - Oh, for the love of god, why? 87 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:50,418 - Because, Mr. Monk, it's your birthday. 88 00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:51,528 And whether you like it or not, 89 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:52,786 you have friends who love you 90 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,522 and want to celebrate your life. 91 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:55,656 We're happy you were born. 92 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,091 - You're so cruel. 93 00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,993 - Oh, my god! Where's the rest of him? 94 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,829 - That's all there is. 95 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,897 - He's all squished! 96 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,433 - His name was Bradley foster. 97 00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:07,435 He was the maintenance man here. 98 00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,069 Apparently, he fell into the compactor. 99 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,170 - I'm gonna send a guy out 100 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,905 to check the parking lot for his car. 101 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,441 - Yeah, I'd look for a compact. 102 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,443 [All chuckling] - It's not funny. 103 00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:16,886 - Hey, did you see what he was wearing? 104 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,846 Those aren't briefs they're more like boxers. 105 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,081 [All laughing] 106 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:22,716 - He was probably still alive 107 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,618 when he dropped into the gears. 108 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,420 The rotating blades 109 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,556 must have ripped his spinal column 110 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,459 and shredded his lungs. 111 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:34,895 He must have been screaming and begging for his life 112 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,698 the whole way down. 113 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,199 - Captain, this is Paul wellman, 114 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,968 the building manager. He found the body. 115 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,570 - And when was that Mr. Wellman? 116 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,937 - It was at 8:30. 117 00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:45,773 I had noticed that the door was open 118 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,108 and that was kind of strange so I, you know, 119 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,010 turned on the lights and I came in 120 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,446 and that's when I saw the blood 121 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,882 sort of... Sort of trickling down. 122 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,550 At first I thought it was an animal 123 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,018 that had been trapped. 124 00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:01,555 I looked inside and that's when I saw Bradley. 125 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,023 - What do you think happened? 126 00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:05,125 - Well the compactor must have jammed. 127 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,661 I guess he forgot to turn off the circuit breaker. 128 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,162 Look, I've been here 15 years 129 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:12,032 and we have never had an accident like this before. 130 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,534 - Tell him, Randy. 131 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,569 - It's not an accident until we say it is. 132 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:16,680 - How long did he work here? 133 00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:18,739 - Five years, give or take. 134 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,207 He was a good man. 135 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,308 - Yeah, excuse me. 136 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:25,245 You said you came in and you turned on the lights? 137 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,279 - That's right. 138 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:28,716 - Are you sure about that... About the lights? 139 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,584 - Yes, sir. I'll never forget it. 140 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:33,754 I turned on the lights and saw the blood. 141 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,690 - Why are you asking about the lights? 142 00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:38,191 - Who turned them off? 143 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,060 - Oh, yeah. 144 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,696 - That makes things a whole lot more interesting. 145 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:43,797 Let's seal this building. 146 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:44,932 Talk to everybody. 147 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:48,736 - Mr. Wellman, was there anybody else here last night? 148 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,079 - Well there's a camera in the lobby, 149 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,038 and I was just checking the tape. 150 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,140 It looks like there was one other guy here. 151 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,576 - Meckler, Richard meckler. 152 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:56,744 - Meckler, got it. 153 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,846 - Now, he left around midnight but... 154 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,681 I mean, I don't think that means anything 155 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:02,683 'cause he works late a lot. 156 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,953 - What does he do? 157 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,688 - Ladies and gentlemen, 158 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:10,157 my name is Richard meckler. I'm a patent attorney. 159 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:14,027 Now, I must hear a thousand bad ideas every year. 160 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:17,798 And believe me, I've met every nut job in California. 161 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,943 But when Kurt pressman came into my office five months ago 162 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:24,037 with this vacuum, 163 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:27,174 the world's first self-cleaning vacuum cleaner, 164 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:30,010 well I knew I wanted to be a part of it. 165 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,087 Let's bring Kurt up, right now, and he can tell us all about it. 166 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,947 Kurt pressman ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it. 167 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:36,216 Well done, sir. 168 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,885 That's it. Give it up, people. 169 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,220 Thank you, buddy. 170 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,791 - Self-cleaning vacuum. 171 00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:46,193 Do I wake or do I dream? 172 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:49,296 - I don't know, Mr. Monk. 173 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,135 - Last night? Uh, I was working late. 174 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,604 Got home around 12:30. 175 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,138 - Yeah. - Yeah, 12:30. 176 00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,607 Here use mine. 177 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,742 - Uh, no thanks, I'm good. 178 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,645 Did you, uh, see anything unusual last night? 179 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:05,989 Were there any strangers in the building? 180 00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,881 - No, no, sir. - What's all this about? 181 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,783 - Do you know a Bradley foster? 182 00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,118 - Yeah, the janitor. 183 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,620 - Well he was murdered last night. 184 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:13,763 We found him in the basement. 185 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,023 - Oh, my god! 186 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,072 - Consumer currents? 187 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,341 You write for them? - Indeed. 188 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,610 - I bought my motorcycle last year 189 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,111 because you guys recommended it. 190 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,246 You gave it five stars. 191 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,014 - How is it? 192 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,850 - It's five stars. I love it. 193 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,317 So thank you. 194 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,787 - Choppers aren't my department. 195 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:50,090 I... i mainly cover household appliances 196 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:53,026 like blenders and vacuum cleaners. 197 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:55,863 But if you're in the market for an energy efficient 198 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,665 three cycle dishwasher with half load option 199 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:58,799 I'm your gal. 200 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:01,201 - Hmm. - [Laughing] 201 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,703 - Tk. 202 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,037 What's the "t" stand for? 203 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:07,374 - It stands for my first name. 204 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,311 - Mr. Preston, excuse... 205 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,646 I'm sorry to bother you. 206 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,815 I just have to know, how does it work? 207 00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,150 I mean, where does all that dust go? 208 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,886 - It's a high voltage electronic filter. 209 00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,888 It's in the brochure. The dust is disintegrated. 210 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,656 - Yeah, I didn't get a brochure. 211 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,291 I'm here with the police. 212 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,292 - Police? 213 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:29,229 - Yeah, we're here about, um, something else 214 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,407 completely unrelated, but I think the work you're doing 215 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,599 is historic. 216 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:36,103 A self-cleaning vacuum is right up there with the wheel 217 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,337 or windex. 218 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,139 - Thank you, thank you... - Hold on. 219 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,407 Where can I get one... or two? 220 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,675 Actually, I could take two. 221 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:42,943 - We have a waiting list, 222 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,878 and I'll make sure you're on it, Mr... 223 00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:47,347 - Monk. - Monk, excuse me. 224 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,449 Sorry I took so long. - It's all right. 225 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,318 - You had the diet, right? - Mm-hmm. 226 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,420 - I can't tell. Is that diet? 227 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:56,289 - Oh, mm, diet, definitely. 228 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,058 - Diet? Great. 229 00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,226 - Thanks. 230 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,360 - Pretty good turnout, huh? 231 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,996 - I told you, partner, you build a better mousetrap. 232 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,197 - Oh, this is lt. Disher, 233 00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:05,198 he's with the San Francisco police. 234 00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:08,301 - Yeah, I, uh, I heard the police were here. 235 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,170 - Yeah. 236 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:13,140 - Trina? 237 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,274 Theresa? 238 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:15,275 - [Chuckles] 239 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:18,912 Why do you care? 240 00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:20,456 - Because it'll make it slightly easier 241 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:24,017 for me to track you down. 242 00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,152 - Oh. 243 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,459 - Don't touch it! - Ow! 244 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,461 It is a vacuum cleaner. 245 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:35,963 - You're not suppose to touch. 246 00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,264 - Richard? 247 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,398 - Mr. Meckler? - Richard? 248 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:39,499 - I can't... 249 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,834 - Richard! 250 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:41,902 - Call 911. 251 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,303 He's having a heart attack. 252 00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:44,337 - Oh, my god. Richard! 253 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,338 - Captain! 254 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,339 - Step back, step back. 255 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,776 - Richard! 256 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,778 Richard! - Doctor! 257 00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:53,380 Get me a doctor. Is there a doctor in the house? 258 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:56,216 - Richard, Richard, Richard? 259 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:59,252 Help him! Help him... oh, my god! 260 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,291 [Upbeat music] 261 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:12,324 ? 262 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,318 - Morning. 263 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,286 - Good morning. 264 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,155 - How did you sleep? I was up all night 265 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,490 thinking about that poor man, that lawyer. 266 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:41,461 I've never actually seen anyone have a heart attack before. 267 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,063 Oh, is that the new vacuum? 268 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,297 Where did you get it? 269 00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:47,300 - Oh, the, uh, 270 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:50,237 the captain met this reporter from a consumer magazine. 271 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,471 She let me borrow it. 272 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,106 - Uh-huh, and how is it? 273 00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,942 - It's spectacular. 274 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,143 See there's no dust bag. 275 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,945 You don't have to empty it. 276 00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,247 And if it picks up a coin or something, 277 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,949 look... 278 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,851 There's a little tray. 279 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:06,386 See, I think I'm in love. 280 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,931 - Oh, well, I'm sure you two will be very happy. 281 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,022 - Yeah. 282 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,066 - Come on, the captain's waiting for us. 283 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,058 - Okay. 284 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,501 - Oh, I almost forgot, we just have to stop off 285 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,427 at my place. I forgot my cell phone. 286 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,429 - Excuse me. 287 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,340 [Cell phone ringing] 288 00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:29,109 Oh, good. We found your phone. 289 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,978 It's in your bag. 290 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,579 What are the odds? 291 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,347 So where are they? 292 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,283 Are they at your house? 293 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,127 - Come on, Mr. Monk, can't you just come with me? 294 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:41,188 Just... just pretend to be surprised. 295 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,056 They're your friends. They're waiting for you. 296 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:43,924 They love you. 297 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,592 They wanna do something special for you. 298 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:46,593 - I can't... i can't. 299 00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:47,861 I can't do it. 300 00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:49,262 - Why? Tell me why? 301 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,898 There has to be a reason. 302 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,065 - All right, I'll tell you. 303 00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,200 But you can't tell anyone. 304 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,968 I haven't even told Dr. Bell. 305 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,204 - Okay, I promise. 306 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,664 My god, what is it? 307 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:28,168 - All right. 308 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:32,205 I was ten years old, 309 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:36,243 and there was this cowboy. 310 00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,444 - A cowboy? 311 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,046 - Cowboy Hank. 312 00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:42,916 - Okay. 313 00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:44,684 - Oh, he was... 314 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,419 He was on TV every week and 315 00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:49,957 he was my hero. 316 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:52,926 Well, when I turned ten my mother surprised me. 317 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:57,197 She hired cowboy Hank to come to my party. 318 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,299 It must have cost her every nickel she had. 319 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,268 And, um, he, uh, 320 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,239 he brought a rope 321 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,607 with him. 322 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,009 - A rope? 323 00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,944 - Like a lasso. 324 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:13,380 - Oh, my god. 325 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,249 What did he do with it? 326 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:17,417 - Tricks. 327 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:20,520 A lot of kids from my class were there. 328 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:23,123 Cowboy Hank was really funny. 329 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,291 He did all his tricks 330 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:25,492 and then he left. 331 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:26,593 - He left. 332 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,595 - As soon as he was gone, 333 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:34,134 all my friends, my so-called friends, went home. 334 00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:39,672 They didn't stay for cake or anything. 335 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:44,344 They didn't care about me. 336 00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:48,215 They just wanted to see cowboy Hank. 337 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,253 - That's it? 338 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,421 Everybody left. 339 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,757 That's your story? 340 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,326 - Yeah. 341 00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:01,261 - Oh, I'm so throwing you a party. 342 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,262 - What? 343 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,131 - It's gonna be the biggest party of the year. 344 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,298 It's gonna be a cotillion. 345 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,699 We're gonna dance until dawn. 346 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,001 - No, I can't. 347 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,202 Not after what happened. 348 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:10,170 - Oh, Mr. Monk, that's the stupidest story 349 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:13,006 I ever heard. I'm sorry but that is lame. 350 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,141 Everybody left? 351 00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,276 - Well it was very traumatic. 352 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,421 - It's stupid, I mean, I have worse stories than that. 353 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:19,512 Everybody does. 354 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:23,383 Wait, why can't you tell Dr. Bell? 355 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:24,760 - I didn't think he could handle it. 356 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:27,220 - [Chuckles] 357 00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,289 I am so throwing you a party, 358 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,367 as god is my witness and I'm going to surprise you too. 359 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,460 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 360 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,796 You're gonna surprise me? 361 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,365 You're not gonna surprise me. 362 00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:43,236 - You don't think I'm smart enough? 363 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:46,606 It is so on. 364 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,308 I'm throwing you a party, boss. 365 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,711 It could be anytime, anywhere. 366 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,319 - So what are we looking for? 367 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,188 - I don't know. 368 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:04,257 Somebody threw the guy in a trash compactor. 369 00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:06,193 There had to be a reason. 370 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,760 How long did he live here? 371 00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:10,363 - 11 years. 372 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:12,065 - Ahh. 373 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:13,266 - I got a mouse pad 374 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,510 and a surge protector but no computer. 375 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,569 - And I got a toolbox that looks like 376 00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:17,670 some tools are missing. 377 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,772 Somebody's been here. 378 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,109 Somebody's been eating my porridge. 379 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,543 - Hey, thanks for coming. 380 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,578 Uh, where's your boss? 381 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,347 Oh, he's in the hall. He won't come in. 382 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,650 He thinks it's a surprise party. 383 00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:32,119 - Monk, get in here. 384 00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:45,365 Thank you for coming. 385 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,334 Looks like somebody's been here. 386 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,336 They took the computer and maybe some tools. 387 00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:50,303 - Uh-huh. 388 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,472 - Check that closet while you're over there. 389 00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,546 - Ah, no, ha-ha. 390 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,149 I, uh, I think I'll pass. 391 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,184 - You'll pass? 392 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,785 - Right, you think someone's in there? 393 00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,687 You think there are 50 people in that closet 394 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,457 with balloons and party hats 395 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:11,858 waiting to jump out? 396 00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:15,195 - Excuse me, do I need to remind both of you 397 00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:17,264 that two nights ago the man that lives here 398 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,865 got torn apart in a trash compactor? 399 00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,501 - I bet he was surprised. 400 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,537 - I know she's been trying to throw you a party. 401 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:26,606 And, um, 402 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:27,707 she's going to. 403 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,142 Oh, she's gonna get you. 404 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,543 - I'll get you. 405 00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:34,414 - But this is a murder victim's place of residence. 406 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,924 Do you honestly think that she would do it here? 407 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:39,452 - No, no, I don't. 408 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:43,623 And that is precisely why I do. 409 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,258 And because I do, I don't. 410 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,560 So yes, I do. 411 00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:49,296 - Natalie, tell him. 412 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:50,563 - There is no party. 413 00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:51,864 - Why is she smiling then? 414 00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:55,435 - Because she's a friendly person. 415 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,436 - She winked. 416 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,537 Come on, she's winking. 417 00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:58,771 - Teeger, quit winking. 418 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,340 Look, monk, i... - She winked again! 419 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,608 - I need you to focus. 420 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,410 Randy, fill him in. 421 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:07,314 - Uh, Bradley foster, graduated m.I.T. 1982. 422 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:10,583 Worked for general electric for ten years. 423 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:13,620 Then he just disappeared, fell off the radar. 424 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,322 - Apparently he started drinking, 425 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,657 uh, washing dishes, moving from job to job. 426 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:18,801 He ended up living here pushing a broom. 427 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,193 - Uh-huh. 428 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:22,762 Aha, I knew it. 429 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:25,298 I knew it. 430 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,934 Confetti. Where are they? 431 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:30,503 Okay, you can come out wherever you are. 432 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,572 - Monk, no that's not confetti 433 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,773 that's shredded paper. 434 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,542 It's what we... See there's the shredder 435 00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,310 right there, that's material evidence. 436 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,612 Let's put it back. 437 00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,514 Thank you. 438 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,601 What do you got? 439 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:08,541 It's been chewed. 440 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:09,809 - The lawyer. 441 00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,578 - The heart attack? 442 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,681 - He was here. 443 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,594 - Mr. Monk, what are you doing? 444 00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,996 - Oh, you don't want me to look, do you? 445 00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,831 - No, I don't. - I wonder why? 446 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:34,734 - Because it's putrid and disgusting. 447 00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:41,941 - You were right. 448 00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,610 We just ran a full toxicology screening. 449 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,878 Richard meckler was murdered. 450 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:46,846 Poisoned. 451 00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:49,382 We found eight cc's of sodium fluoroacetate 452 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:50,550 in his blood stream. 453 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,919 - Sodium... - Fluoroacetate. 454 00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:57,390 - F-l-o... - Fluoroacetate. 455 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,958 - I'm gonna write up the notes later. 456 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,060 - We don't come across it very often, thank god. 457 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,396 It's extremely toxic and fast-acting. 458 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,565 - Yeah, we know. We were there. 459 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,033 - Another murder. Coincidence? 460 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:10,370 - I don't believe in coincidence. 461 00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:12,839 Okay, let's take a step back. 462 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,574 We got a janitor who's killed. 463 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,385 The only other guy in the building is a lawyer 464 00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:18,611 named Richard meckler. 465 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,055 Ten hours later, meckler is poisoned. 466 00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:20,980 What do you think, monk? 467 00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:24,050 - I don't believe in coincidence either. 468 00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:28,788 And I also don't believe in surprise parties. 469 00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,693 - He has a big birthday tomorrow. 470 00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:35,094 - Happy birthday. 471 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,663 - Uh, doc, you said that the, uh, 472 00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:39,098 sodium flur... - Fluoroacetate... 473 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,500 - it was, uh, fast-acting. 474 00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:42,001 - That's right. 475 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:45,405 Once you ingest it, you're dead within ten seconds. 476 00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:46,939 - That doesn't make sense. 477 00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:49,776 I was right there. I was talking to the guy. 478 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,911 I didn't see anything. 479 00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:53,079 - Neither... 480 00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:54,614 Did I! 481 00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:58,751 Can I just say something? 482 00:21:58,785 --> 00:22:01,988 If this is my party, 483 00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:03,923 it's the second worse birthday party 484 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:06,092 I've ever had. 485 00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:15,101 - What's going on? 486 00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:17,770 - The guy that died yesterday was poisoned. 487 00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:19,005 - Oh. 488 00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:20,773 - So we're gonna recreate the crime. 489 00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:23,476 - Well why call me? Am I a suspect? 490 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:25,077 - No. 491 00:22:25,111 --> 00:22:27,380 - Am I important to the case in some way? 492 00:22:27,414 --> 00:22:29,148 - Not particularly, no. 493 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:31,384 - Oh, so you were just looking for an excuse 494 00:22:31,418 --> 00:22:32,184 to see me again. 495 00:22:32,218 --> 00:22:35,087 - Miss Jensen, if that were true, 496 00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:37,524 if I brought you down here in the middle of the afternoon 497 00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:40,427 just to talk to you and get to know you better, 498 00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:42,429 that would be a serious abuse of my authority. 499 00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:44,831 - It certainly would. 500 00:22:46,933 --> 00:22:48,701 - Uh, captain, 501 00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,136 do you mind? 502 00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:57,043 - Hey, Randy, Natalie, this is tk Jensen. 503 00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:59,446 She writes for consumer currents magazine. 504 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:00,279 She was at the event last night. 505 00:23:00,312 --> 00:23:01,490 I thought she might be able to help. 506 00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:02,615 - Hello. - Hi. 507 00:23:02,649 --> 00:23:04,050 Uh, what's tk stand for? 508 00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:05,418 - Mm... 509 00:23:05,452 --> 00:23:08,187 - she's taking the fifth on that. 510 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:11,190 - Okay, let's get started, captain. 511 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:13,192 You're going to be Richard meckler. 512 00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:16,929 So you're standing right here. 513 00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:18,197 Right there... 514 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,433 Natalie, you're his wife. 515 00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:22,835 So you're standing right there. 516 00:23:22,869 --> 00:23:24,003 - What about me? 517 00:23:24,036 --> 00:23:25,104 - You're you. 518 00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:27,073 - But I'd rather be meckler. 519 00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:28,174 - Why? 520 00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:29,175 - He has more to do. 521 00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:32,979 - Randy, you're you. 522 00:23:33,012 --> 00:23:35,181 - All right. 523 00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:37,684 I am the inventor. 524 00:23:37,717 --> 00:23:39,652 I am Kurt pressman. 525 00:23:39,686 --> 00:23:42,221 I'm sorry, I don't have a part for you. 526 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,623 Okay. 527 00:23:47,494 --> 00:23:51,097 I walk across the room carrying two glasses of soda. 528 00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:52,198 I step up... 529 00:23:52,231 --> 00:23:54,601 - that's right, he wasn't sure which one was diet, 530 00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:56,936 so he took a sip. 531 00:23:56,969 --> 00:24:00,473 Then meckler's wife takes a sip. 532 00:24:00,507 --> 00:24:03,209 She took a sip. 533 00:24:03,242 --> 00:24:04,911 She gave the glass to meckler. 534 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,178 He drank from it. 535 00:24:06,212 --> 00:24:07,747 Five minutes later he was dead. 536 00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:09,248 - Ugh. 537 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:12,118 - So how was he poisoned? That's the question. 538 00:24:12,151 --> 00:24:13,620 - It had to be in the drink. 539 00:24:13,653 --> 00:24:15,197 - No... no, that's... That's impossible, 540 00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:16,556 you remember what dr z. Said, 541 00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:18,525 the poison hits you like this... 542 00:24:18,558 --> 00:24:20,135 And he was sipping it for at least five minutes. 543 00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:22,762 - Besides, his wife and pressman 544 00:24:22,795 --> 00:24:24,697 both drank from the same glass... 545 00:24:24,731 --> 00:24:26,265 They didn't even get sick. 546 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,199 - So it wasn't in the drink. 547 00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:28,901 Was he eating something? 548 00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:30,169 - No. 549 00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:31,704 - Wait a minute. 550 00:24:31,738 --> 00:24:33,516 He was chewing on his pen... Like a nervous habit. 551 00:24:33,540 --> 00:24:35,274 - Nope, it wasn't the pen. 552 00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:36,809 That was the first thing we tested. 553 00:24:36,843 --> 00:24:37,910 It was clean. 554 00:24:37,944 --> 00:24:40,580 - Well, maybe somebody injected him with something, 555 00:24:40,613 --> 00:24:41,781 like a... like a needle. 556 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:46,719 - No, I was there, I would've seen that. 557 00:24:46,753 --> 00:24:50,156 A blow dart, you know, a poison dart. 558 00:24:50,189 --> 00:24:52,024 - What happened to the dart? 559 00:24:52,058 --> 00:24:53,826 It would have been sticking in his neck. 560 00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:55,728 - Not necessarily. 561 00:24:55,762 --> 00:24:58,164 There could have been a long elastic wire 562 00:24:58,197 --> 00:24:59,866 attached to the blow dart. 563 00:24:59,899 --> 00:25:02,535 They're called dartarangs. 564 00:25:02,569 --> 00:25:04,246 - How do you know they're called dartarangs? 565 00:25:04,270 --> 00:25:06,205 - Because they're probably called dartarangs. 566 00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:09,175 Or at least that's what they should be called. 567 00:25:09,208 --> 00:25:11,277 - Just nod your head and say maybe. 568 00:25:11,310 --> 00:25:13,646 - Maybe. - Interesting, Randy. 569 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,014 Interesting. 570 00:25:24,891 --> 00:25:26,993 - Is the child safety lock in the off position? 571 00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:28,327 - Yes. 572 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,662 - Is the power switch on? 573 00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:31,163 - Yes. 574 00:25:31,197 --> 00:25:33,633 - Is the cyclone cover tightened securely? 575 00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:36,769 - Cyclone cover, yes. 576 00:25:36,803 --> 00:25:39,271 I don't understand it. 577 00:25:39,305 --> 00:25:41,007 It was working perfectly. 578 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,275 I was using it all morning. 579 00:25:43,309 --> 00:25:46,012 I cleaned the filter, and it just stopped. 580 00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:47,079 - You cleaned the what? 581 00:25:47,113 --> 00:25:48,280 - I cleaned the filter. 582 00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:52,351 - You cleaned the air-actuated ionized electronic filter? 583 00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:54,320 - That's right. I always clean the filter. 584 00:25:54,353 --> 00:25:56,255 - Mr. Monk, it says do not clean the filter. 585 00:25:56,288 --> 00:25:57,990 - Where? 586 00:25:58,024 --> 00:26:00,793 - Here, here, here, here, 587 00:26:00,827 --> 00:26:02,795 here. 588 00:26:02,829 --> 00:26:05,031 - I saw that, but it didn't make any sense. 589 00:26:05,064 --> 00:26:08,668 You always clean the filter. 590 00:26:08,701 --> 00:26:10,136 What did I do? 591 00:26:10,169 --> 00:26:12,571 What did I do? 592 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,609 I'm so sorry. 593 00:26:16,643 --> 00:26:20,346 So sorry... 594 00:26:20,379 --> 00:26:22,248 It's true what they say... 595 00:26:22,281 --> 00:26:24,984 The good die young. 596 00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:31,323 Not this vacuum. 597 00:26:31,357 --> 00:26:33,192 Take me instead. 598 00:26:33,225 --> 00:26:34,961 - I'm sure we can find somebody to fix it. 599 00:26:34,994 --> 00:26:36,863 - Nobody can fix it. 600 00:26:36,896 --> 00:26:39,131 It's not even in the stores yet. 601 00:26:39,165 --> 00:26:40,800 Oh, god. 602 00:26:40,833 --> 00:26:42,301 Wait. 603 00:26:42,334 --> 00:26:43,903 Wait, wait, wait. 604 00:26:43,936 --> 00:26:45,404 The guy... the inventor. 605 00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:46,973 - Kurt pressman? - Yeah! 606 00:26:47,006 --> 00:26:47,974 - Yeah, he can fix it. 607 00:26:48,007 --> 00:26:51,110 His address is right on the back of the booklet. 608 00:26:51,143 --> 00:26:52,411 603 vinton street. 609 00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:54,146 We can be there in 20 minutes. 610 00:26:54,180 --> 00:26:56,415 - We can't go now. You have Dr. Bell at 2:00. 611 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:57,984 - Oh, I'll call him and cancel. 612 00:26:58,017 --> 00:26:59,361 - No, I don't think it's a good idea, I mean, not today. 613 00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:00,286 - Why not? 614 00:27:00,319 --> 00:27:04,090 - Because you seem really anxious lately. 615 00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:05,133 You have that big case... The janitor. 616 00:27:05,157 --> 00:27:06,258 Plus the poisoned lawyer, 617 00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:08,294 so that's two big cases. 618 00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:10,329 You're under a lot of pressure. 619 00:27:10,362 --> 00:27:12,331 - I don't believe it. 620 00:27:12,364 --> 00:27:13,299 - What? 621 00:27:13,332 --> 00:27:14,834 - I don't believe it. 622 00:27:14,867 --> 00:27:16,769 You are diabolical. 623 00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:18,905 You're planning a surprise party 624 00:27:18,938 --> 00:27:21,307 in dr bell's office... My therapist's office. 625 00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:23,375 Have you no shame? 626 00:27:23,409 --> 00:27:26,879 - It's not in his office. 627 00:27:26,913 --> 00:27:28,347 It's in the office next door. 628 00:27:28,380 --> 00:27:29,448 I rented it out. 629 00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:30,349 Everybody's waiting. 630 00:27:30,382 --> 00:27:31,350 They're already there. 631 00:27:31,383 --> 00:27:33,953 Please, Mr. Monk, please just... just come with me. 632 00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:36,122 It'll take just an hour. 633 00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:38,157 - Told you before, I can't do it. 634 00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:39,334 - What, because of cowboy Hank? 635 00:27:39,358 --> 00:27:40,693 - Cowboy Hank. 636 00:27:40,727 --> 00:27:42,461 - Because of one bad party. 637 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:45,698 Okay, Mr. Monk, congratulations. 638 00:27:45,732 --> 00:27:46,598 You win. 639 00:27:46,632 --> 00:27:48,300 You're gonna spend your birthday alone. 640 00:27:48,334 --> 00:27:49,902 And the next birthday after that. 641 00:27:49,936 --> 00:27:51,337 And the one after that too. 642 00:27:51,370 --> 00:27:53,706 Until you finally die alone, 643 00:27:53,740 --> 00:27:58,310 pathetic and miserable and sad and alone. 644 00:27:59,946 --> 00:28:01,047 - Deal. 645 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,815 Can we fix the vacuum now? 646 00:28:05,852 --> 00:28:09,121 - Hello? - In here. 647 00:28:12,491 --> 00:28:13,760 - Hello. 648 00:28:13,793 --> 00:28:15,461 - Mr. Monk, Natalie, 649 00:28:15,494 --> 00:28:18,497 I already spoke to your colleague, lt. Disher, earlier. 650 00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:23,335 - Actually, that's not why we're here. 651 00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:26,172 It broke. It just stopped working. 652 00:28:26,205 --> 00:28:29,108 - You mean, you're not here about Richard? 653 00:28:29,141 --> 00:28:31,410 - Could you have a look? It'll just take a minute. 654 00:28:31,443 --> 00:28:32,955 - I don't think I can think about work. 655 00:28:32,979 --> 00:28:34,747 Not now, not after what happened. 656 00:28:34,781 --> 00:28:37,349 It's just... 657 00:28:37,383 --> 00:28:38,751 Richard was more than my lawyer. 658 00:28:38,785 --> 00:28:40,252 He was one of my oldest friends. 659 00:28:40,286 --> 00:28:41,754 I've known him since high school. 660 00:28:41,788 --> 00:28:43,389 I just can't believe he's gone. 661 00:28:43,422 --> 00:28:46,058 - I can appreciate that. 662 00:28:46,092 --> 00:28:47,393 It was a terrible thing. 663 00:28:47,426 --> 00:28:49,862 We're very sorry for your loss. Aren't we? 664 00:28:49,896 --> 00:28:52,932 - Yes. 665 00:28:52,965 --> 00:28:55,167 - But as long as we're here. 666 00:28:57,503 --> 00:28:58,871 - It just stopped working? 667 00:28:58,905 --> 00:29:02,474 - Yeah... - He cleaned the filter. 668 00:29:02,508 --> 00:29:03,886 - Well, you're not suppose to clean the filter. 669 00:29:03,910 --> 00:29:04,944 - I know that now. 670 00:29:04,977 --> 00:29:06,054 - We wrote it as big as we could 671 00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:07,079 in the instruction book. 672 00:29:07,113 --> 00:29:08,223 It was the biggest font we had. 673 00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:09,481 - It was big. 674 00:29:09,515 --> 00:29:12,384 - All right, let's take a look. 675 00:29:12,418 --> 00:29:15,487 - Great, thank you. 676 00:29:15,521 --> 00:29:17,523 Thank you so much. 677 00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:23,529 So this is, uh... 678 00:29:23,562 --> 00:29:25,564 This is where you invented it? 679 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:28,901 - Yes, sir, worked on the prototype for five years. 680 00:29:28,935 --> 00:29:31,570 - Wow, five years? 681 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,439 - Well, you know what Thomas Edison said. 682 00:29:33,472 --> 00:29:36,408 Invention is 1% inspiration 683 00:29:36,442 --> 00:29:38,577 and 99% perspiration. 684 00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:40,046 - I have a theory. 685 00:29:40,079 --> 00:29:44,016 I think Edison said that to explain his b.O. 686 00:29:47,186 --> 00:29:49,822 - I need a Phillips-head. 687 00:29:49,856 --> 00:29:52,324 - You know, the perspiration... 688 00:29:54,260 --> 00:29:57,096 - I gather from the lieutenant that you don't think 689 00:29:57,129 --> 00:29:59,165 Richard died of natural causes. 690 00:29:59,198 --> 00:30:01,567 - Oh, we can't talk about the case, you understand. 691 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,470 - You mentioned another case, 692 00:30:04,503 --> 00:30:06,338 a... a janitor you feel might be connected? 693 00:30:06,372 --> 00:30:08,841 - It's possible. It's a work in progress. 694 00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:11,177 - Yeah, Mr. Monk always says it's a work in progress 695 00:30:11,210 --> 00:30:13,179 just before he figures it all out. 696 00:30:13,212 --> 00:30:14,480 - Really? 697 00:30:14,513 --> 00:30:17,483 - So how does she look? 698 00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:19,618 - Well, you were right it's the filter. 699 00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:21,854 - Yeah. 700 00:30:21,888 --> 00:30:23,431 - I can't replace it now. It will take a couple days. 701 00:30:23,455 --> 00:30:26,192 - Oh, so Friday? 702 00:30:26,225 --> 00:30:28,094 - Friday is Richard's funeral. 703 00:30:28,127 --> 00:30:29,595 - What time? 704 00:30:29,628 --> 00:30:30,629 - Noon. 705 00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:36,068 - So you're home when... 2:30, 2:45? 706 00:30:36,102 --> 00:30:37,536 - How about this, I'll call you. 707 00:30:37,569 --> 00:30:38,609 - Yeah, that sounds great. 708 00:30:38,637 --> 00:30:41,874 Thank you, so much, for letting us just drop by. 709 00:30:41,908 --> 00:30:43,542 Thank you. - Yes and god bless you 710 00:30:43,575 --> 00:30:45,844 and your work. 711 00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:50,950 - All right, how about this. 712 00:30:50,983 --> 00:30:52,284 It won't be a party. 713 00:30:52,318 --> 00:30:54,586 I mean, not technically, it'll just be me and Julie. 714 00:30:54,620 --> 00:30:56,631 We'll come over tonight and we'll have a birthday cake 715 00:30:56,655 --> 00:30:57,656 and a couple candles? 716 00:30:57,689 --> 00:30:59,391 - I don't want a cake. 717 00:30:59,425 --> 00:31:01,193 - Okay, fine, uh, how about a cupcake? 718 00:31:01,227 --> 00:31:03,329 One cupcake and one candle. 719 00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:04,396 - Crumbs. 720 00:31:04,430 --> 00:31:08,667 - Okay, a plastic cupcake, a picture of a candle, 721 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:11,603 and I promise we won't have any fun at all. 722 00:31:11,637 --> 00:31:14,040 - You know what I want? 723 00:31:14,073 --> 00:31:15,274 What I really want? 724 00:31:15,307 --> 00:31:16,308 - What? Just name it. 725 00:31:16,342 --> 00:31:17,585 - I want you to make a left turn. 726 00:31:17,609 --> 00:31:18,978 - A left turn? - Right now. 727 00:31:19,011 --> 00:31:20,980 Turn here. 728 00:31:21,013 --> 00:31:23,182 - Why... what's going on? - We're being followed. 729 00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:27,019 - Oh, my god... oh, my god. What do I do? 730 00:31:27,053 --> 00:31:29,655 [Cell phone ringing] 731 00:31:29,688 --> 00:31:31,323 That's the captain. 732 00:31:31,357 --> 00:31:32,691 - Are you guys okay? 733 00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:34,493 - We're being followed. 734 00:31:34,526 --> 00:31:35,928 - Is it a black SUV? - Yes. 735 00:31:35,962 --> 00:31:36,562 - Yes. - Nevada plates? 736 00:31:36,595 --> 00:31:37,596 - Yes. - Yes. 737 00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:39,465 - Okay, stay calm. 738 00:31:39,498 --> 00:31:40,642 We just got word that somebody put out 739 00:31:40,666 --> 00:31:42,701 a $20,000 contract on your life. 740 00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:44,070 - Contract. 741 00:31:44,103 --> 00:31:46,538 - Both of us, or just him? 742 00:31:46,572 --> 00:31:48,407 [Gunshots] What was that? 743 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,408 - Thos are gun shots. 744 00:31:49,441 --> 00:31:50,943 Go, go, go, go! - Which way? 745 00:31:50,977 --> 00:31:58,977 - Away from the bullets. 746 00:32:05,357 --> 00:32:13,357 [Tires squealing] 747 00:32:25,711 --> 00:32:26,989 - Wrong way, wrong way, wrong way! 748 00:32:27,013 --> 00:32:28,480 - How do you know? 749 00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:29,615 - It says wrong way. 750 00:32:38,757 --> 00:32:40,226 - Help us. 751 00:32:40,259 --> 00:32:42,261 You gotta help us. They're after us. 752 00:32:43,429 --> 00:32:45,197 [Gunshots] 753 00:32:45,231 --> 00:32:47,299 Oh, my god. This way! 754 00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:53,605 - Come on. 755 00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:00,712 - The dumpster. The dumpster. 756 00:33:00,746 --> 00:33:02,581 - I can't. - The port-a-John. 757 00:33:02,614 --> 00:33:04,350 - Have we met? 758 00:33:04,383 --> 00:33:05,684 - Mr. Monk, you have to choose. 759 00:33:05,717 --> 00:33:07,353 - I choose death. 760 00:33:07,386 --> 00:33:08,454 - Hey, they're down here. 761 00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:11,123 - Go, go, go, go! 762 00:33:11,157 --> 00:33:13,159 Go, go, go, go. 763 00:33:17,529 --> 00:33:19,731 - Why did you close it? 764 00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:21,467 - Because we're hiding. 765 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:24,703 - I changed my mind. 766 00:33:24,736 --> 00:33:26,705 I'll take the port-a-John. 767 00:33:39,285 --> 00:33:40,586 - What do we do with them? 768 00:33:40,619 --> 00:33:42,354 - Let's dump them in the river. 769 00:33:42,388 --> 00:33:45,124 - They're talking about us. 770 00:33:45,157 --> 00:33:48,060 - Come on out, both of you. 771 00:33:48,094 --> 00:33:51,630 Let's see your hands. Hands up. 772 00:33:51,663 --> 00:33:53,799 Got any last words? 773 00:33:53,832 --> 00:33:55,201 - Yes, I do. 774 00:33:55,234 --> 00:33:57,403 There's something I wanna say. 775 00:34:00,672 --> 00:34:02,208 Happy birthday, Mr. Monk. 776 00:34:02,241 --> 00:34:05,611 All: Surprise! 777 00:34:05,644 --> 00:34:08,380 [All cheering] 778 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:15,721 - Gotcha! 779 00:34:18,124 --> 00:34:19,625 - Thank you. 780 00:34:19,658 --> 00:34:20,768 - You should have seen your face. 781 00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:21,803 - Yeah, I should've seen my face. 782 00:34:21,827 --> 00:34:23,429 - You're not mad are you? 783 00:34:23,462 --> 00:34:24,563 - No, I'm okay. 784 00:34:24,596 --> 00:34:26,165 - Hey, man. 785 00:34:26,198 --> 00:34:27,399 Happy birthday. 786 00:34:27,433 --> 00:34:28,767 - So, were you surprised? 787 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,769 - Oh, yes. Yes, I was. 788 00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:33,672 - I cannot believe you got him in that dumpster. 789 00:34:33,705 --> 00:34:34,816 - I know. You guys were great. 790 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:35,807 Where did you get that SUV? 791 00:34:35,841 --> 00:34:37,676 - Impound lot. 792 00:34:37,709 --> 00:34:39,645 - Uh-huh. Very funny, very funny. 793 00:34:39,678 --> 00:34:41,247 With the car chase and the gunshots. 794 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:42,648 Very amusing. 795 00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:44,483 And when the guard got shot, 796 00:34:44,516 --> 00:34:46,285 that almost looked real. 797 00:34:46,318 --> 00:34:48,520 - Well, that was real. We had to kill the guard. 798 00:34:48,554 --> 00:34:50,656 - We had to make it look authentic. 799 00:34:50,689 --> 00:34:54,193 - What do you mean? 800 00:34:54,226 --> 00:34:55,461 - It was fake blood. 801 00:34:55,494 --> 00:34:57,329 - Hey, pat, pat... He's right there. 802 00:34:57,363 --> 00:35:00,766 - I knew it! I knew it. 803 00:35:00,799 --> 00:35:02,334 - Hey, Mr. Monk? 804 00:35:02,368 --> 00:35:03,735 Look who I found. 805 00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:05,704 Your hero. I had to invite him. 806 00:35:05,737 --> 00:35:06,672 - I wouldn't have missed it. 807 00:35:06,705 --> 00:35:07,839 Happy birthday, monk. 808 00:35:07,873 --> 00:35:10,442 - Happy... happy birthday. 809 00:35:10,476 --> 00:35:11,686 - Hey, Natalie, monk, come here. 810 00:35:11,710 --> 00:35:13,612 - Yeah, I, uh, don't go away. 811 00:35:13,645 --> 00:35:15,747 This, uh, this'll just take a second. 812 00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:16,682 - Say hello. 813 00:35:16,715 --> 00:35:20,519 This is the guy that sold the whole thing. 814 00:35:20,552 --> 00:35:22,888 [Continues indistinctly] 815 00:35:29,928 --> 00:35:32,731 - Hi. 816 00:35:32,764 --> 00:35:35,267 - Hey, hey. 817 00:35:35,301 --> 00:35:36,935 - Thanks. - Well, thank you for coming. 818 00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:38,470 - I love your parties. 819 00:35:38,504 --> 00:35:39,605 Although, I have to say, 820 00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:40,715 if nobody gets shot or poisoned, 821 00:35:40,739 --> 00:35:42,741 I'm going to be very disappointed. 822 00:36:07,933 --> 00:36:11,203 All: ? and many more 823 00:36:11,237 --> 00:36:12,938 [all applauding] 824 00:36:16,007 --> 00:36:17,576 - Come on, Mr. Monk, make a wish. 825 00:36:17,609 --> 00:36:20,246 - I really don't think I want to. 826 00:36:20,279 --> 00:36:21,813 - Monk, make a wish. 827 00:36:21,847 --> 00:36:24,950 - Okay. 828 00:36:24,983 --> 00:36:27,185 [Sighs] 829 00:36:33,725 --> 00:36:35,327 You loosened your belt. 830 00:36:35,361 --> 00:36:38,764 - I'm making room for the cake. 831 00:36:38,797 --> 00:36:40,432 - You loosened your belt. 832 00:36:40,466 --> 00:36:41,567 - Excuse me? 833 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:43,235 - Your tool belt. 834 00:36:43,269 --> 00:36:46,805 It didn't fit, and I saw you loosen it. 835 00:36:46,838 --> 00:36:48,940 - I need a Phillips-head. 836 00:36:48,974 --> 00:36:51,377 - You didn't even know what tool to use. 837 00:36:51,410 --> 00:36:54,280 It wasn't your belt. 838 00:36:54,313 --> 00:36:57,349 Was it? 839 00:36:57,383 --> 00:36:59,685 I know what happened. 840 00:36:59,718 --> 00:37:01,253 I know the whole story. 841 00:37:01,287 --> 00:37:04,990 The janitor, Bradley foster, 842 00:37:05,023 --> 00:37:07,626 the... the engineer from m.I.T. 843 00:37:07,659 --> 00:37:09,661 He was the real inventor. 844 00:37:09,695 --> 00:37:11,830 He took the idea to Richard meckler, 845 00:37:11,863 --> 00:37:13,365 which made sense. 846 00:37:13,399 --> 00:37:15,934 Meckler was a patent lawyer in that same building. 847 00:37:15,967 --> 00:37:17,503 Self-cleaning vacuum. 848 00:37:17,536 --> 00:37:20,939 Fourth greatest invention since the dawn of man. 849 00:37:20,972 --> 00:37:23,675 Meckler knew it would be worth a fortune. 850 00:37:23,709 --> 00:37:26,278 You and meckler were old pals. 851 00:37:26,312 --> 00:37:27,846 You were in it together. 852 00:37:27,879 --> 00:37:30,682 He killed foster in the trash compactor, 853 00:37:30,716 --> 00:37:32,818 and you were the beard. 854 00:37:32,851 --> 00:37:34,920 You were the phony inventor. 855 00:37:34,953 --> 00:37:37,323 Meckler was greedy, 856 00:37:37,356 --> 00:37:39,024 but you were greedier. 857 00:37:39,057 --> 00:37:41,360 You decided you didn't need a partner 858 00:37:41,393 --> 00:37:43,362 so you killed him. 859 00:37:43,395 --> 00:37:44,730 You poisoned him 860 00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:46,031 at that reception. 861 00:37:46,064 --> 00:37:47,833 - I poisoned Richard meckler? 862 00:37:47,866 --> 00:37:49,868 How? 863 00:37:49,901 --> 00:37:51,937 You were there. So were you. 864 00:37:51,970 --> 00:37:53,405 - You brought him his drink. 865 00:37:53,439 --> 00:37:54,940 It must have been in the drink. 866 00:37:54,973 --> 00:37:57,008 I drank from it, remember? 867 00:37:57,042 --> 00:37:58,510 From the same glass. 868 00:38:05,417 --> 00:38:07,953 - The ice cubes. 869 00:38:07,986 --> 00:38:11,890 The ice cubes. Mine are square. 870 00:38:11,923 --> 00:38:13,725 These are round. 871 00:38:13,759 --> 00:38:15,060 So are yours. 872 00:38:18,997 --> 00:38:20,899 It must have been in the ice cubes. 873 00:38:20,932 --> 00:38:24,002 - I'll take that. 874 00:38:24,035 --> 00:38:26,605 - That's how you could drink from the same glass. 875 00:38:26,638 --> 00:38:28,740 The ice hadn't melted yet. 876 00:38:28,774 --> 00:38:30,075 - Randy, 877 00:38:30,108 --> 00:38:31,843 cuff him. 878 00:38:31,877 --> 00:38:34,446 - Don't need handcuffs. 879 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,983 [Cheers and applause] 880 00:38:38,016 --> 00:38:41,820 There you go, son, take him away. 881 00:38:41,853 --> 00:38:43,655 - Cowboy Hank! 882 00:38:43,689 --> 00:38:46,358 - He was available. Can you believe it? 883 00:38:46,392 --> 00:38:47,893 - Sorry to be late, buckaroos. 884 00:38:47,926 --> 00:38:51,363 Okay, who's the birthday boy? 885 00:38:51,397 --> 00:38:53,965 - I am. 886 00:38:53,999 --> 00:38:58,069 - Well, ride on my saddle, happy birthday, son. 887 00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:09,047 - Yeah, there you go! 888 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,082 Well, thank you, thank you, thank you. 889 00:39:11,116 --> 00:39:13,051 Well, I guess it's time for cowboy Hank 890 00:39:13,084 --> 00:39:14,386 to be moseying down the trail. 891 00:39:14,420 --> 00:39:16,488 Back to the old cowboy home. 892 00:39:16,522 --> 00:39:18,390 Now listen, Adrian, 893 00:39:18,424 --> 00:39:20,726 I want you to keep your spurs clean, huh? 894 00:39:20,759 --> 00:39:22,570 - Yeah, I don't think you have to worry about that. 895 00:39:22,594 --> 00:39:24,830 - Thank you, very much, man. 896 00:39:31,503 --> 00:39:35,140 - Well, never a dull moment. 897 00:39:35,173 --> 00:39:38,143 - Give me another chance, 898 00:39:38,176 --> 00:39:40,946 I want to have dull moments with you. 899 00:39:40,979 --> 00:39:45,484 How about Saturday night? 900 00:39:45,517 --> 00:39:46,652 - Okay. 901 00:39:46,685 --> 00:39:49,855 - And sunday night? 902 00:39:49,888 --> 00:39:51,490 - Sunday night too? - Yep. 903 00:39:51,523 --> 00:39:53,492 - I don't know. 904 00:39:53,525 --> 00:39:54,993 I mean, uh, 905 00:39:55,026 --> 00:39:56,762 maybe we ought to tap the breaks. 906 00:39:56,795 --> 00:40:00,866 - I'm sorry, but my breaks are shot. 907 00:40:00,899 --> 00:40:03,435 And, uh, besides I don't want to slow down. 908 00:40:03,469 --> 00:40:07,606 I haven't felt... 909 00:40:07,639 --> 00:40:10,509 Hell, I have... I have never felt like this. 910 00:40:12,878 --> 00:40:16,548 And I don't even know your name. 911 00:40:16,582 --> 00:40:17,716 - It's Trudy. 912 00:40:19,851 --> 00:40:21,487 - Your name is Trudy? 913 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:22,621 - Yeah, it's tru... 914 00:40:22,654 --> 00:40:25,491 - no... wait... your... Your name's Trudy? 915 00:40:25,524 --> 00:40:26,592 - Yeah. 916 00:40:26,625 --> 00:40:27,635 - Oh, that's not gonna work. 917 00:40:27,659 --> 00:40:28,827 - What? 918 00:40:28,860 --> 00:40:31,129 - Well... it's... It's a long story. 919 00:40:31,162 --> 00:40:33,499 Let's just stick with tk, okay. 920 00:40:33,532 --> 00:40:35,601 Tk is cute. - Okay. 921 00:40:42,140 --> 00:40:44,476 - For the record, cowboy Hank went home, 922 00:40:44,510 --> 00:40:46,211 and everybody's still here. 923 00:40:46,244 --> 00:40:48,580 They're here for you, Mr. Monk. 924 00:40:48,614 --> 00:40:49,724 - Hey, you guys, we had a great time. 925 00:40:49,748 --> 00:40:52,217 - You're not leaving. - Okay. 926 00:40:52,250 --> 00:40:57,055 - Natalie, this was the best birthday I ever had. 927 00:40:57,088 --> 00:40:58,590 Thank you. - You're welcome. 928 00:40:58,624 --> 00:40:59,991 - Don't do it again. 929 00:41:00,025 --> 00:41:01,993 - Happy birthday, Mr. Monk. 930 00:41:02,027 --> 00:41:05,030 Captioning by captionmax www.Captionmax.Com 62946

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