All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S04E37.A.Man.Among.Men.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

- What time do you think you'll
get home tomorrow night, dear?

- Oh, not until late, honey.

Don't wait up for me.

- Boy, I sure wish I could
go on a business trip.

Couldn't I go with you, Dad?

- I don't think you'd
enjoy it very much, son.

Besides, you'd better stay
here and take my place

while I'm gone.

- Take your place?

- Well, yeah, sort
of act as my deputy.

- You mean like Matt Dillon has?

- Well, that's the general idea.

Think you can handle it?

- I sure can, Mr. Mitchell.

- You don't have to give it
the Long Branch treatment.

But seriously, son, you
are getting old enough now

to sort of fill in for me
and take care of things

while I'm gone.

- Well, I'll sure try, Dad.

Is there any special
man job I can do?

- Let's see, I--
I told Mr. Wilson

I'd help him wash his car.

- Gee, he usually
pays me for that.

- Well, not when you're grown up.

You do things like that
just to be a good neighbor.

- Oh.

- Well, I guess it's
time to get going.

- I'll carry your
suitcase down for you.

- OK, son.

- He certainly was impressed with
the idea of taking your place.

- Well, you let him think he is.

It'll give him a sense
of responsibility.

- Hey, Dad?

Here you are, Dad.

I carried it partway
with only one hand.

- Well, that shows I
know how to pick a man.

- Would you like me to bring you
a glass of milk before you go?

- Milk?

- Yeah, one for the road.

- One for the-- Dennis, where
on Earth did you get that?

- I woke up one night when Dad
and some other men were playing

cards and I heard him say that--

- Never mind, Dennis.

I think I'd better be going.

Bye, dear.

- Men don't kiss each other, Dad.

- Oh, that's right.
Goodbye, son.

See you soon.

- Bye, Dad.

- Have a nice trip.

- Gee, I miss him already.

- Well, so do I,
but we'll manage.

Now why don't you
come on in and help me

with the breakfast dishes.

- Oh, I can't do that, Mom.

I'm taking Dad's
place, so I have

to do what he does
after breakfast.

Hm, the stock market
looks sort of shaky today.

- It's so nice to have
a man around the house.

[theme music]
- Well?

Do I look any taller, Tommy?
- Yeah.

A little, I guess.

- That's because I'm a man today.

- It's because you're
standing on your tip-toes.

- Nobody asked you, Seymour.

Anyhow, I am a man.

I'm taking my dad's place
while he's out of town.

- I wish mine had
gone out of town.

- His dad gave him a
licking this morning.

- It hasn't wore off yet.

- Gee, what was the trouble?

- He got caught swiping some
candy out of a box his mom had.

They knew he did
it 'cause there was

some chocolate left
around his mouth.

- Seymour, that was
a bad thing to do.

I hate to see you
make the mistakes

I made when I was a kid.

Now you just listen to me.

- OK.

- Now you gotta make up your mind
that you'll behave yourself.

And you gotta be
real careful not

to do stuff that'll
get you a licking.

Understand?
- Oh, sure.

- Now if you knew where your
mother had another box of candy

put away, what would you do?

- Eat it and then wash my face.

- It's no use, Tommy.

The children of today
just won't learn.

ALICE MITCHELL (OFFSCREEN):
(CALLING) Dennis!

- That's my mom calling me.

I guess she wants me to fix
the furnace or something

grow-up like that.

See you later.
- Come on, Seymour.

- Hi, Mom.

You want me to stoke the
furnace or something?

- No, dear, we're
having stew for lunch,

and I'd like you to
peel the potatoes.

- Gee, Mom, men don't
do things like that.

- What do you mean?

Your father does.

- Yeah, but you take the knife
away from him because you say

he peels them too deep.

You don't want them
peeled that way, do you?

[doorbell rings]

- Dennis, would you
get the door for me?

I have something on the stove.

- OK, Mom.

Oh, hi, Mr. Wilson, come on in.
- Hello, Dennis.

Are your, uh, parents home?

- My mom is, but my dad's
out of town on business.

Come on in.

Sit down.

- Thank you.

- I'm taking my
dad's place, so I'll

help you wash your car
like he was going to do.

- Well, that's very kind of
you, but I drove downtown

this morning and had it
done at a service station.

- Oh.

Well, you just let
me know if there's

anything else you
need another man for.

- Hello, Mr. Wilson.

- Well, Alice.

Dennis tells me you're
a business widow.

- Only until tomorrow
night, thank goodness.

- Oh.

Well, I have a little
surprise for you.

Do you remember my
telling you about a book

I was having published,
my first book?

- Yes, and we're so
thrilled for you.

Is that it?

- I got my author's
copies this morning

and I autographed one
for you and Henry.

- "The Land We Love,"
by John Wilson.

Oh, thank you.

- Well, I hope you enjoy it.

It's a collection of my magazine
articles on American history.

- I know we'll enjoy it.

And here's a personal
copy for you too, Dennis.

- Boy, Mr. Wilson,
it feels great.

Not nearly as heavy
as my arithmetic book.

- I know how proud you
must be, Mr. Wilson,

and I hope the book makes
a lot of money for you.

- Oh, I won't get
any money myself.

No, I was very well paid
for the original articles,

and I decided that
I would turn over

the book royalties
to the Red Cross.

- What a fine thing to do.

I'll certainly tell
all of my friends

what a generous man you are.

- Oh, no, no.

Please, don't.

I know I've always been very
quick to toot my own horn,

but I think so much
of the Red Cross

that I'd rather do
this without fanfare.

- I understand.

- And now if you'll
excuse me, I'm

going down to the
local bookstore

and try and arrange for
a good window display.

- Oh, I'm sure Mr. Jessup
will give you one.

He's a rather fussy sort
of man, but very nice.

- Well, I haven't met him,
but I'll introduce myself.

- And thank you again for
the book, Mr. Wilson.

- Thank you for mine, too.

- Oh, yes, of course.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

- Good old Mr. Wilson.

He sure is a nice man, isn't he?

- He certainly is.

- Hey, now that
I'm a man, I think

I'll grow a mustache
just like his.

- Thank you very much.

- Oh, uh, good
morning, Mr. Jessup?

- That's right.
What can I do for you?

- My name is John Wilson.

- Oh, well, it's a
pleasure to meet

a real life literary figure.

- It's a pleasure knowing you.

Are you stocking my
book, Mr. Jessup?

- Oh, you bet I am.

Since you're a local
celebrity, I ordered 50 copies.

They were delivered
just this morning.

- Oh, splendid, splendid.

Uh-huh.

I, uh, I have a
small favor to ask.

- Oh, you just name
it, Mr. Wilson.

You're the first author
I've ever had in my shop.

A fellow came in once
that wrote real clever ads

for a deodorant.

Oh, but of course, that
don't put him in your class.

- Uh, no.

Well, uh, what I had in mind was
a window display for my books.

50 copies should fill it nicely.

- Oh, that's a fine idea.

Of course, I couldn't
put all 50 of them in,

but I could make room
for two or three?

- Wh--why so few?

- Well, if I put in
any more, I'd have

to take out my display
of Get Well cards.

- Get Well cards?

- Uh-huh.

Greeting cards for sick folks.

I just got in a
lovely selection.

Like this one.

"As you lie there sick in bed,
having lots of pain from toe

to head, just remember
those worthwhile

are the ones who wear a smile."

Isn't that nice?

- Surely you must be
joking, Mr. Jessup.

- Well, I don't see
anything funny.

- You mean you actually
prefer to have

that-- that drivel in your
window, instead of my book?

- Well, it may be
drivel to you, but I

think cheering up sick
people is important.

- Look, I'm not
against sick people.

- Oh, well, that's good of you.

- But as a businessman, you
should be practical about this.

A window display of my books
will bring in far more money

than you'll ever get
out of those cards.

- All people don't
measure everything

by money, Mr. Wilson.

Sick people need--

- You've already explained that.

- You come in here
and ask a favor

and then end up by telling
me how to run my business.

- Well, I'll be doing
you a favor, too.

I'm willing to stay here and
autograph books for anyone

who buys a copy.

- I suppose you'd charge
them for signing your name.

- Of course not.

Why would I do a
thing like that?

- Because apparently
nothing matters to you

but making money.

- That is not true.

- Well, you got mad
at me when I said

I'd rather sell Get Well cards
and make sick folks happy.

- I did no such thing.

Now Mr. Jessup, let's be
reasonable about this.

It's true I would like
people to buy my book.

- Oh, naturally, so
you could get rich.

- No, so they can
read the stories

it tells about our
famous American heroes.

- Oh, your hero is
probably Benedict Arnold.

He loved money, too.

- Oh, for heaven's sake!

- Oh, I know the kind of
man you are, Mr. Wilson.

You think you can lord it
over me, come in my shop

and give me orders and
expect me to bow and scrape

just because you've
written a book.

That's the kind of man you are.

- Is that so?

Well, you are the kind
of fussy pipsqueak

who's headed for bankruptcy
because you'd rather

sell stupid cards
than good literature.

- I'm glad you said that.

It'll make it easier
to send your books back

to the publisher.

- Send them back?

- Yes.

I refuse to handle
anything written

by such a cold and
heartless person.

- How much is this Get Well card?

- $0.26.

25, 26.

It's for you.

You must be sick!

I can't get over the things
that fellow Jessup said to me.

- Now John, you mustn't
let it bother you so.

- But it does bother me.

I'm not a cold,
heartless man, am I?

- Of course not.

You're a good, kind man.

- A good, kind, sweet man.

- You writers always
find the perfect word.

- I counted so on having my
books on display in his window.

People would have seen them from
the street, they'd have come in

and asked me to autograph
them, and they'd

have told me what a fine
book it is, how well-written.

And I'd have said, well, not
really, just careful research.

- And it would have been such a
good thing for the Red Cross.

You hadn't forgotten that?

- Oh, that too, of course.

- A good, kind,
sweet, modest man.

- Now he's going to
send them all back,

and I won't get to
autograph a single one.

- John, would you stop
fretting about this?

Now why don't you do
something to keep busy?

Something to-- well, to
keep your mind off yourself?

- Well, I suppose
that might help.

Oh, I know, I've been
meaning to touch up

the pickets on the front fence.

Oh, and I'll pick up that
wicker chair out of the garage

and spray some paint on it, too.

We can always use it
as lawn furniture.

- That's a wonderful idea.

And I'll fix a pitcher
of cold lemonade

and put it on the porch for you.

- Bless you, my dear.

- Aw, come on, Dennis.

Let's play tag or Run,
Sheep, Run, or something.

- Not me, Tommy.

I told you.

Since this morning,
I'm a grown-up,

and those kind of
games are kid stuff.

- Yeah, but they're fun.

- Maybe so, but I
have to be adult.

- I think Dennis is
absolutely right.

- You do, Margaret?

- Yes.

Run, Sheep, Run is
such a juvenile game.

Dennis, you and I
will play house.

- Oh, no, Margaret.

- You can be my husband and
push dear little Gwendolyn

in her carriage.

That's very adult.

- But I'm taking my dad's
place for a couple of days.

He doesn't push me
around in a carriage.

- Oh, you're so technical.

- Hey, how about Cowboys and
Indians, like on television?

- A Western?

Well, I guess that
would be all right,

if it's an adult Western.

- All right, I'll
be the schoolmarm.

- You never wanted to
play Western before.

- But this is adult.

That means the hero
doesn't kiss his horse.

He kisses the schoolteacher.

So Dennis will be the
hero, and I'll be the--

- Hey, there's Mr. Wilson.

I bet he needs some help.

- Dennis, I won't kiss you hard.

- You won't kiss me
at all, Margaret.

When a man needs help, it's
up to another man to help him.

- Aw, fudge.

He never finishes anything.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, hello, Dennis.

- Did you get all your books in
the window at the book shop?

- No, Mr. Jessup
won't even sell them.

He was most disagreeable.

- Gee, that's too bad.

Well, I bet you I
could have fixed it up

if I'd have gone with you.

- Well, you didn't, so
let's not talk about, huh?

- OK.

Can I help you paint the fence?

- Oh, Dennis, really--

- But Dad always helps you.

- Well, that's a
good idea, Dennis.

You take over.

I'll have myself some lemonade.

- You've got lemonade?

- Yes.

You do a good job, there'll
be some for you, too.

- Gee, swell, Mr. Wilson.

- The sooner you finish,
the sooner you get some.

- With a spray can,
I can go real fast.

- Dennis!

Stop that!

- Oh.

- Dennis!

This paint was
meant for the chair.

Now I'll have to do the
whole fence over again.

- Gee, I didn't mean to
make a mess, Mr. Wilson.

- Well, I hope this
will teach you

that a boy shouldn't
attempt a man's job.

- I was just doing what
Dad would have done.

I mean, I just wanted to help.

- Dennis, there's only
one way you can help me.

Go home.

Please.

- OK, I'll go, Mr. Wilson.

I sure hate to make
another man cry.

- Dennis, you've hardly
touched your breakfast.

- I'm not hungry, Mom.

- But you're a man.

You should eat a
man-sized breakfast.

- I guess I'm not much of a man.

Not after what I did to Mr.
Wilson's fence yesterday.

- But that was just
an accident, dear.

I'm sure Mr. Wilson
isn't very mad.

- Well, he ought to be.

I tried to help him
like Dad would have,

but it turned out all wrong.

- You're still the
man in this house.

- I'd better go out and see
what the kids are doing.

- All right, dear, run ahead.

And cheer up.

- Gee, taking Dad's place
isn't as easy as I thought.

It's kind of like
putting on his clothes.

They'd be too big for me.

- It takes a man to
admit that, dear.

- Yeah?

Gee, maybe I was
giving up too soon.

Mr. Jessup won't sell this book!

He's unfair!

- He's mean to Mr. Wilson!

- He's a very naughty man.

- Boo!

- Mr. Jessup won't
sell this book!

He's unfair!

- Now look here, children.

I've told you before, this
isn't doing a bit of good,

so why don't you just run along?

- Because we want
to help Mr. Wilson.

- And make you treat him fair.

- Justice will prevail.

- I like to make noise.

- But you must be getting tired,
marching around in this heat.

Wouldn't you rather
go to the drugstore

and have ice cream sodas?

- Well, it is kinda hot, Dennis.

- And I am fatigued.

- I would make a lot
of noise with a soda.

- Oh, then please be my guest.

- Come on, Dennis.

This isn't much fun anyway.

- Oh, go ahead and drink
his old sodas if you want.

I'm staying right here.

- I admire your
principles, Dennis,

but you're fighting
for a lost cause.

- You're nutty.

- You can't buy me off.

- Why are you being so
stubborn, young man?

- Because that's what
I am-- a young man.

Even you know it.

- Then you refuse to give
up this picketing nonsense?

- I sure do.

My Dad wouldn't quit
helping a friend,

and I won't quit
either. (SHOUTING)

Mr. Jessup won't sell this book!

He's unfair!

- Very well.

I tried.

- (SHOUTING) Mr. Jessup
won't sell this book.

Mr. Jessup is unfair.

He won't sell Mr. Wilson's book!

It cost $3.95,
and it's worth it!

- Great [inaudible].
Dennis!

- Oh, hi, Mr. Wilson.

- What in the world do
you think you're doing?

- Oh, I'm picketing Mr. Jessup.

That's how men operate.

- Oh, but-- give--
give me that thing.

- What's wrong, Mr. Wilson?

- Dennis, people will
think I'm behind this,

that I'm hiring you to
drum up trade for me.

It's very embarrassing.

- Well, well, well.

You know, when Jessup called,
I couldn't believe it.

Now I really can't believe it.

- Hi, Sergeant Mooney.

- Hello, Dennis.

You know, you shouldn't
be keeping company

with this agitator.

- Agitator?

- Hm.
- Oh!

Oh, you mean this sign.

It doesn't belong to me.

It's his.

- Oh, sure, that's what
you're carrying it,

because it doesn't
belong to you.

- Oh, for heaven's sake, Mooney.

You don't think I'd
be picketing Jessup?

- Look, Wilson, I'm
just a simple cop.

If I see a fellow
with a mask and a gun

coming out of a bank carrying
a satchel full of money,

I say, Mooney, that
fellow robbed a bank.

If I see you parading up
and down with that sign,

I say, Mooney, he's picketing.

That's the way my
mind works. [laughs]

- I just took the
sign from Dennis.

Tell him, Dennis.

- That's right, Sergeant Mooney.

- Don't protect him, son.

The next thing you know, he'll
have you on top of a soapbox,

yelling, down with Shakespeare!

- Oh, this whole
thing is ridiculous.

- Aw, maybe not, Wilson.

Maybe this little stunt
will sell enough books

to pay your fine.

- Fine?

- Yeah, for picketing
without a license.

- Well, I hope you're
satisfied, Dennis.

- Gee, I didn't mean
this to happen,

Mr. Wilson I was just trying
to make up for yesterday

when I was trying to be a man.

- Well, get that absurd
idea out of your head.

You are not a man.

You're just a-- a child.

Now please, keep
out of my affairs.

- OK, Mr. Wilson.

- OK, Wilson, let's go
down to headquarters.

- [sighs]

- Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Pick that up.

Don't try to get
rid of the evidence.

And if you're a
good boy, I'll let

you picket in front
of the mayor's house.

You can carry a sign
saying "The police

department is underpaid!"

- Mr. Jessup, I want
to talk to you.

- Oh, dear, I hoped
you were gone.

Well, what is it?

- I got my friend Mr.
Wilson in trouble.

So I guess what I was doing
outside was-- was a mistake.

- Well, that's much better.

And I accept your apology.

You were too young
to understand.

- I want to ask you a
question, man to man.

- All right.

Ask away.

- You make money selling
books, don't you?

- It's been my business
for many years.

- Then why won't you
sell Mr. Wilson's book

if it'll make money for you?

- Because I don't like him.

He made fun of my
greeting cards,

so I don't care to put
money in his pocket.

- Oh, he won't make anything.

He's going to give all
he gets to the Red Cross.

- To the Red Cross?

Oh, that can't be true.

- Sure it is.

He told me and Mom about it.

- Well, then why
don't he tell me?

- I don't know.

Maybe because you got
mad at him so fast,

he didn't have time to tell you.

- Well, perhaps I was hasty.

- Mr. Wilson gets upset real
easy and hollers a lot,

but he's an awful nice man.

- Hmph.

I find that hard to
believe. [sniffs]

But I suppose it's possible.

- Sure.

I bet you hollered
right back at him.

But you're an awful
nice man, too.

I can tell.

- Well, thank you, Dennis.

- You'd like Mr. Wilson if
you knew him like I know him.

- Oh?

- He gave me this book and
he wrote something in it

especially for me.

Can I read it to you?

- Oh, well, yes, please do.

- "These stories of our country's
past are for my friend,

Dennis Mitchell, who
represents our future.

While we have boys as eager
and honest and loyal as Dennis,

there is nothing to worry about.

We'll be in good hands.

It gives me great
pride to know that he

thinks of me as his friend.

John Wilson."

Doesn't he sound
like a nice man?

- Yes.

Yes, he certainly does.

I was wrong, and I'm sorry.

Oh, these are his books
that I was sending back.

Would you help me open the box?

- You mean you're
gonna keep them?

- I'm going to put them
all in the window.

- Oh, boy, that's
swell, Mr. Jessup!

- And would you tell Mr.
Wilson that my profit

on each one of these books is
going to the Red Cross, too?

Even if it bankrupts me.

Will you tell him that, Dennis?

- I sure will, Mr. Jessup.

This is great.

- Uh, Dennis, what I have
to say, I may say badly.

It-- it isn't easy for me
to admit that I'm a grouch.

- You don't have to
admit it, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, yes, I do.

I want to thank you for
doing this old grouch

a great service.

- I was trying awful
hard to be a man

and help you like
Dad would have.

- Believe me, you're a
better man than I am.

- Oh, no, not better
than you, Mr. Wilson.

- Much better.

I let my temper get away from me
and jumped all over Mr. Jessup.

Then when you sprayed the fence,
I let my temper get away again.

- Did kind of get
loose, didn't it?

- But that didn't stop you.

No matter how cranky
I was, you went right

on doing your best to help me.

- I'm your friend.

- I hope I can always be as
loyal to my friends as you were.

Believe me, Dennis, you're my
idea of what a man should be.

- Jeepers.

I wonder if Dad's
clothes would fit me now.

[chuckles]

- Boy, I sure had a hard
day at the office today.

- Office?

- Well, that's what
Dad always says.

I don't have an office
yet, but it was a hard day.

- What made it so hard?

- Well, it didn't
look like I was going

to get Mr. Jessup to
sell Mr. Wilson's book.

But I kept plugging away,
and now everything's OK.

- Well, I'm home again.

- Honey, what a
wonderful surprise!

- You're home early, Dad!

- Yep.

- Well, what happened?

You said you wouldn't get
in till after midnight.

- Well, things went so
smoothly, I just took off.

- Good for you.

- Everything run
smoothly here too?

- No trouble at all.

Dennis took your place,
just like you told him to.

- Good boy.

- Yeah, I like being a man.

- Well, there are some things
I like about it too, son.

Say, when are we gonna eat?

All the way from
Center City, I've

had my heart set on a
good home-cooked meal.

- But honey, we didn't
expect you for dinner.

I'm afraid you'll have
to go to the market

and pick up another steak.

- Well, why me?

Dennis is still officially
head man around here.

I don't want to put
him out of a job

just because I got home a
little ahead of schedule.

- Sure, I'll do it.

- That's the spirit, son.

You just tell Mr. Quigley we
want a-- a thick, juicy steak.

- OK, give me the money.

- Well, Dennis, the,
uh, head of the family

pays for the groceries.

You can just get it
out of your piggy bank.

- But Dad, I've been saving
up for a Super Contest Model

Yo-Yo.

- Yo-yos are for boys,
not men like us.

- Oh.

Dad, I just made a big decision.

- Yes?

- You know more about
being a man than I do.

I think I'll just resign
and just be your boy again.

- Think you'd like
that better, huh?

- Well, I guess it does
have some advantages.

[laughter]

[theme music]

ANNOUNCER: This has been a
Screen Gems film production.