Original subtitles

- And children should be taught at an early age

to treat animals with consideration.

For kindness to animals is a mark of the civilized man.

- Gee, you're a swell writer, Mr. Wilson.

Read me some more.

- All right.

Well, I go on to say, the devotion

shown us by our animal pals deserves our affection

in return.

- It sure does.

- So let us always be kind to our four-footed friends,

no matter how-- [cat meowing] There's

that pesky cat of Mrs. Elkins again.

Scat! Get out!

So let us always be kind to our four-footed friends no matter

how--

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.

Why did you throw your slipper at little old Tinkerbell?

- Why did I throw my slipper?

Because I didn't have a rock, that's way.

- But you keep saying we should be

kind to our four-footed friends.

- Dennis, I do not consider that confounded cat

of Mrs. Elkins a four-footed friend.

Cats are a nuisance, and I don't want them in my yard.

- Well, I guess you're kinder to Tinkerbell than you think,

Mr. Wilson.

You missed her by a mile.

- Mr. Wilson.

Mr. Wilson!

Oh, there you are.

Mrs. Elkins, what do you want?

- Hi, Mrs. Elkins.

- I want an apology from you.

That's what I want.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Hello, Dennis.

- I ought to what?

- Don't you give me that phony innocence.

You deliberately through a rock at my dear little Tinkerbell

yesterday.

Miss Cathcart saw you.

- Oh, that wasn't yesterday, Mrs. Elkins.

It was just a few minutes ago.

- What?

- And it wasn't a rock, it was his bedroom slipper, wasn't it,

Mr. Wilson?

- As a matter of fact, Dennis, it was both.

Yesterday and today.

- You mean to sit there and tell me

you threw at my little Tinkerbell again today?

- Yes, I did.

And I will throw at the little pest

every time it comes into this yard.

- Oh, why, why that's the cruelest thing I ever heard.

- The cats in this town are a menace.

And that little Stinkerbell of yours is the worst.

- Oh, you are sick.

- Yes, I am sick.

I'm sick and tired of stray cats tearing up my flowerbeds

and frightening away the song birds.

You people should be forced to buy licenses for them,

keep them on leashes, like dogs.

- Oh, that's ridiculous.

- And any cat caught without a license should be locked up.

- I do not care to say another word to you

John Wilson about anything.

But I do have one question.

- What is it?

- Since the law says every dog must wear a license,

where's yours?

- Of all the nasty, insulting-- by George, I'll show her.

- Jeepers, what are you going to do, Mr. Wilson?

- I'm going downtown and tell the city

officials there should be a license law for cats.

People who have them should pay a fee.

- But you're too busy a man to worry

about a little thing like cats, Mr. Wilson.

Heck, they don't bother anybody.

Maybe decent cats don't, but that alley rabbit

of Mrs. Elkins bothers me, and so does Mrs. Elkins.

Well, I'm going to do something about both of them right now.

- There's already a law in licensing cats on the books.

- Really?

Sure, here it is.

Ordinance 702B.

All cats shall be licensed, the fee to be $1 per year.

Any caught without a license then

shall be impounded, et cetera, et cetera.

- Well, for heaven's sake, why aren't you enforcing it?

We tried it a couple of times, Wilson, but the law's no good.

It's too expensive to enforce.

- Too expensive?

That's a ridiculous statement.

- I told you we tried it.

Cats are too hard to catch.

That's the problem.

Here, see this?

- City Cat Catcher.

Yeah.

- The last guy that wore this cost the city 10 times as much

as he could collect in license fees.

It just won't work, Wilson.

- Well, that's a pretty lame excuse for a lawman, Mooney.

By George, if I was in charge around here,

I'd make the law work.

- Oh, you would, would you?

- You bet I would.

If you ran your department-- what are you doing?

- I'm taking you up on your offer.

You are now officially deputized as special City Cat Catcher.

- Oh, now, Mooney, just a minute.

- You catch a dozen cats in the next 24 hours,

and I'll put that law back in force.

- Oh, well, I could do it.

Make no mistake about that.

It's just that, uh, well, that I'm too busy.

- Hello.

Mayor's office?

Let me talk to the mayor.

Sgt. Mooney.

- The mayor?

Oh, now wait.

Hello, mayor?

Good news.

You know that city cat-catching ordinance?

John Wilson's going to take it on today.

He's going to show us how to do it.

- Oh, well, I didn't-- I didn't.

- What's that, mayor?

John Wilson's a big bag of wind, huh?

- Well, of all--

- He always brags up a storm, and then backs out, huh?

- Is that so?

You tell the mayor that I back up my words with action.

I'll accept that appointment.

- A dozen cats in 24 hours.

That's a deal, Wilson.

- I'll show you and the mayor.

- Hello, Mom?

It's a little joke I'm playing on a fella that

brags a little too much.

Yeah, I'll tell you all about it when I come home for lunch.

- Eloise, I know what I'm doing.

I intend to round up every stray feline in this town

with lures, traps, and a net.

- You certainly are going to a lot of trouble

just to get even with Mrs. Elkins cat.

- This has nothing to do with Mrs. Elkins.

Not anymore.

It's a matter of gross inefficiency in our city

government, and I intend to expose it

for our voters to see.

- How's that again?

- Look, we have a law in this town,

and it is not being enforced.

Now by catching those cats, I intend

to focus attention on the entire situation.

Wake up the voters.

Let them see how badly their city is being run.

- Oh, sort of rouse the rabble, huh?

- Exactly.

And if the people react as I expect them to,

I could organize a committee to investigate graft

in our city government.

Something like that.

- Dear, don't you think you ought to stick

to just being a writer?

- I could very well be asked to run for city council

on the strength of this.

And after that, who know?

Mayor, governor, senator, almost anything could happen.

- My goodness, just think, you might become the only President

in American history who started out as a cat catcher.

Sick 'em Mr. President.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

- Hello, boys.

- Gee, what are you going to do with swell net?

- Going fishing?

- Catch butterflies?

- No, I'm going to work, fellas.

See my badge?

- City Cat Catcher.

Cat catcher?

- I've been appointed to round up all the stray cats in town,

take them down to the city pound and lock them up.

- Lock them up?

- If their owners want them, they'll

have to come down and buy a license for them.

- Yeah, but Mr. Wilson, what if they don't have any owners?

Well, then they'll just stay locked up, that's all.

- Boy, is that dirty.

- I haven't time to talk now, boys.

I've got to get busy.

- Mr. Wilson, Mr. Wilson, you just

gotta talk to me for a second, because what I've got to say

is real important.

- All right, Dennis, what is it?

- We've been friends for a long time, haven't we?

- Well, I've always thought so, yes.

You're the best grown up friend I've got,

and I'm always on your side.

But this time, Mr. Wilson, you're wrong.

Absolutely wrong.

- Oh, now, let's not go into--

- I'm the side of our four-footed friends

like you wrote in your article.

And I am going to help the cats to keep

from getting caught any way I can.

- You go right ahead.

You go right ahead, Dennis.

Do what you like.

I am going out and catch cats.

Goodbye.

- He sure is a mean old man today.

- He is not mean, Seymour.

He's just not thinking straight, that's all.

- Don't worry, Dennis.

Me and Seymour will help you.

He won't catch a single cat.

- No, sir, he sure won't.

- Every time he tries, we'll mess him up, won't we?

- Yeah, we sure will.

- We'll mess him up.

- Because I like cats.

- I like cats, too.

- I just like to mess people up.

- Here he comes.

We've got to save that cat.

Ready with the decoy, Tommy?

- Ready, Dennis.

- OK, Seymour.

You meow.

Then we'll hide over there.

- Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

- Miserable-- Again.

The phantom strikes again.

[meow]

[meow]

- Here, Tinkerbell.

Nice Tinkerbell.

Come take a ride in the sack.

Tinkerbell, come on, Tinkerbell.

Here, Tinkerbell.

Right here.

[meows] - Confound it!

- He's what?

In my yard now trying to catch Tinkerbell.

Who's this calling?

The phantom?

Well, I'll take care of him.

Thank you, phantom.

- You're welcome, Mrs. Elkins.

- Come, Tinkerbell.

Tinkerbell.

Come, Tinkerbell.

[yells] Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here's some nice milk for you.

Come on, kitty.

It's half cream.

Real yummy.

Come on, kitty.

- He's going to get one. - Yeah.

- It's time to use the secret weapon.

You ready, Seymour?

- Right here in my pocket.

- Boy, the secret weapon sure worked.

- Here comes Mr. Wilson.

- So I caught you!

- Yeah, but you didn't catch the cat.

- Well, I should have.

- Why did he pass up that saucer of milk?

- We have a secret weapon.

- Oh, you boys have been following me

around all day haven't you?

Trying to foul me up.

- We haven't been trying Mr. Wilson.

We've been doing it.

- Yeah.

And we're going to keep right on doing it.

- We're good fouler-uppers.

- Like I told you, we're protecting

our four-footed friends.

- Dennis, I realize your motive, and I

admire what you boys have done.

- You do?

- Yes, but unfortunately there's been a terrible mistake.

You have misjudged me completely.

- We have?

- Oh, absolutely, my boy.

You think that I have been rounding up these cats,

because I don't like them, don't you?

- Yeah.

That's what we think.

- You're a stinker.

- He is not, Seymour.

Mr. Wilson is a real nice man.

He's just a little nutty today.

- Yes, uh, no.

What I-- well, as a matter of fact,

I am rounding up these cats purely for their own good.

- Why is it good to take them away from their homes?

- Oh, I don't mean the ones with homes, Dennis.

I mean, those poor stray cats.

Theirs is a sad plight, indeed.

- It is?

- Oh, yes.

Yes, boys, those poor creatures never had a chance,

but I'm going to see to it that they get that.

- How?

- I'm going to make it my personal concern

to see that each one of those cats gets a good home

and loving care.

- But this morning, you acted like you hated cats.

You said Tinkerbell was a pest.

- Oh, well, that was because I was

upset with Mrs. Elkins, Dennis.

My true self wasn't speaking.

- Is it speaking now?

- In words of deepest sincerity.

- Gosh.

I guess we were wrong about you, Mr. Wilson.

- I was hoping you'd see it my way,

because I need you with me.

- You mean you want us to help you catch them?

- Exactly.

If we combine our efforts, I'm sure that we

can bring happiness to those poor, unfortunate animals.

- OK, Mr. Wilson.

I'll help you.

- Me, too.

- I'd rather catch them anyhow.

- Bless your sweet, understanding little hearts.

You have made a noble decision.

Now let's get busy and round them up.

- I sure wish you and them kids hadn't of

dragged all these tarnation cats in here.

- Well, where else would we take them, Mr. Tibbitt.

After all, this is the city pound.

- Yeah, but I just don't like to have them around.

I can't stand all this caterwauling.

- Well, they are cats, Mr. Tibbitt.

They can't help caterwauling.

- I ain't amused, sonny.

- Well, their owners will be calling for some of them.

- The sooner the better.

- Oh, but don't let any of these cats

go until Sgt. Mooney comes by and counts them.

He wasn't at the police station, but I left word for him

to drop by.

- A fine thing.

The police wasting their time counting

a bunch of caterwauling, flea-bitten critters.

- Oh, the time won't be wasted.

From now on, owners will have to pay

a license fee of $1 for each cat.

- Anybody that would pay $1 to keep a cat

ought to have his head examined into.

- Well, it will be a great source of revenue for our city.

Oh, I better be getting home.

I promised my wife I'd take her shopping.

- Yeah, go ahead.

That's right, that's right.

Run on off and leave me here with this flea-bitten bunch

of caterwauling critters.

- You really dislike cats, don't you?

- I tarnation do.

- Well, I suppose you enjoy taking care of the dogs

out in the kennel.

- Can't stand them neither.

Smelly, yapping things.

- I'm surprised you don't give up your job here at the pound.

- Give up a high class job with the city government?

Ah, heh, heh, sonny, I can't do nothing like that.

That's one of them status symbols.

- Oh, well, tell Sgt. Mooney I'll get in touch with him later.

- Oh, why don't you stop all of this yowling,

oh, great guns, whoo.

- Once I persuaded Dennis and the other boys to work with me,

we caught cats by the dozens.

- It must have been jimdandy fun.

- I didn't do it for fun, Eloise.

I did it to expose the gross inefficiency of our city

government. - That's right, of course, dear.

- I'm sure the voters of this town

will remember John Wilson when the next vacancy appears

on the city council.

- You know, I'm so glad you're taking me

down to the beauty shop.

Now I can tell all the girls what

an important man I'm married to.

- Well, you could say that I suppose.

- My husband, the cat catcher.

- Meow, meow, meow.

Meow to you, too.

You tarnation cats never stop yowling.

- Hi, Mr. Tibbitt.

- Hi, there, young fellas.

Say, ain't you the ones that helped

that Mr. Wilson drag all these cats in here?

- Yeah, that's right.

- Oh, no.

Don't tell me you've got more of them?

- No.

We just came to see how many were still here.

- Oh, oh, well, that Sgt. Mooney came over and counted them,

and then some of the owners came and took about seven of them

away.

And I put the rest of them in that big cage over there.

- Gee.

That's a lot of homeless cats, Tommy.

- I think there's about 20 of them.

Well, they'll soon be living with good old Mr. Wilson.

- Wait a minute.

Do you mean to say that Wilson fella wants them?

- Yeah.

He said these cats should have a good home.

- And loving care.

- So he said he's going to give them what they deserve.

- Well, that beats all.

He didn't look like a nut.

- Can we take the cats to him now?

- I don't know.

He's supposed to sign for them.

- We'll sign.

You know we worked with him.

- Yeah, we were assistant cat catchers.

- Yeah, yeah.

You can have these tarnation cats.

- Thanks, Mr. Tibbitt.

- Personally, I think he's touched in the head.

But us big city officials have to work together.

Come over here and sign for him.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

- Well, hello, boys.

Were you waiting for me?

- Yeah.

We've got a wonderful surprise for you.

Close your eyes, and I'll lead you in the house.

- Well, you did help me today.

The least I can do is join in your little game.

- Give me your keys.

- Keys? All right.

- Now close your eyes.

- All right.

- Keep them closed.

- Oh, I will.

- OK, Mr. Wilson, now open your eyes.

- Great Christopher!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

- Isn't it swell?

- Did-- did you boys let these cats in here?

- We brought them through the window.

They're all yours, Mr. Wilson.

- Mine?

- You said you'd give them a good home with loving care.

- No, no, no, I said I'd get them good homes with other people.

- You weren't telling us a fib were you Mr. Wilson?

You do like cats, don't you?

- Well, uh, yes, yes, of course, but I didn't expect--

- I knew you'd rather keep them than give them away.

- Dennis, I have no intention of--

[doorbell rings]

That must be Eloise.

How can I explain this to her?

The door's unlocked, dear.

- Thank you, sweetheart.

Just came by to say you win, Wilson.

Yesterday, you caught enough cats,

so the licensing law is back in effect.

All cat owners have to pay-- holy smokes, more cats?

- They aren't alligators.

- I gotta get going, Dennis.

I'll see you later.

- Bye, Tommy.

Like I said, Wilson, from now on all cat owners

have to pay a fee of $1 per cat.

Well, let's see, these will cost you about $20.

- $20?

- There might be more in the kitchen, Sgt. Mooney.

I'll go see.

- Now look, Mooney, these animals aren't really mine.

Dennis thought I wanted them.

- They're in your house, aren't they?

- Oh, yes, but that has nothing--

- Uh, Wilson, I brought along a copy of the law here.

Let me read it to you, huh?

Any person having a cat in his home,

is libel to a license fee of $1 for each cat.

- I won't pay it.

- Or a fine of $5 per cat if the license

is not purchased immediately.

- I'll pay it.

- I thought you'd see it my way.

- $10, $20.

- Look what I found Mr. Wilson.

A lady cat left five little kittens in your dishpan.

- Oh, I can't stand it.

- Well, it looks like another $5, Wilson.

- They're so small, Sgt. Mooney, can he

have them for half price?

- OK.

Half price.

- Oh, you're so good to me.

- That's because you're a nice man who loves cats.

[theme music]