All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S04E16.Wilsons.Little.White.Lie.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

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Original subtitles

- Hi, Mom.

Hi, Dad.

- Hello, dear.

- Hey, did either of you read anything

about the government looking for a kid

my age to volunteer to go to the moon?

- What?

- You go back and tell Mr. Wilson to stop pulling your leg, son.

- Jeepers, Dad.

How did you ever guess it was Mr. Wilson who told me that?

[theme music]

- And I still say if you can afford to take a day off,

you can afford to see Dr. Baker and get that check up he's

been after you about.

- Eloise, I haven't had a day off in over a month.

I have written four feature articles in a row,

and I deserve a day off.

I am just going to rest today.

- Well, I'm calling Dr. Baker.

- Madame, get your Lilly white hand off that telephone.

- John, when I saw Dr. Baker a few days ago,

he said it could be quite serious if you don't see him.

- Dr. Baker is a cantankerous busy body.

- Oh, now, John, I'm concerned about you.

If you can take a day off, you can take a few minutes

and go and see him.

- My dear unregistered nurse, I'm in perfect health.

All I need is one day of rest.

Furthermore, I'm going to the sportsman show this afternoon.

The national champion fly caster is demonstrating a new trout

fly, and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

- John Wilson, you're pig headed.

- You don't say?

No wonder I have trouble getting a hat that fits.

[door bell]

- Oh, it's Dennis.

- Eloise, one of the most important ingredients

of my day of rest is not being bothered by Dennis.

- Then you tell him that.

- Just say that I'm lying down upstairs.

- John, I will not tell Dennis a lie even for you.

- All right, then I'll go upstairs and lie down

so you won't have to lie for me.

- Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

- Good morning, dear.

- Is Mr. Wilson around?

I want to ask him something.

- Well, uh, he's upstairs lying down.

- Lying down?

Well, he's up.

I can hear him walking around up there.

- I'll only be a minute.

I just want to ask him something.

[knock on door]

- Come in.

- Mr. Wilson?

Oh, hi, Mr. Wilson.

Gee, that's funny.

I thought for sure I heard you walking around up here.

- Dennis, why aren't you in school?

- We're on a week's vacation.

Are you sick, Mr. Wilson?

- Well, I'm not exactly sick, Dennis.

However-- - Swell.

Then how about going to the sport show with

me this afternoon if dad can't?

The national champion fly caster is going to--

- I know.

On the other hand, I'm not at all well either.

- You're not?

- Don't tell Mrs. Wilson.

But if I'm not careful, I may have to have an operation.

- You mean to take something out?

- If you'll excuse me, I-- I feel very weak.

- I sure hope you get well real fast, Mr. Wilson.

- Thank you, little friend.

With plenty of rest, I'm sure I shall.

[door closes]

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Hey, Mom.

- We're out here, dear.

- Hey, I thought you were staying home to do paperwork.

- That's what I thought.

- Jeepers, if you could take time off for that,

why can't you take me to the sport's show?

- Oh, I'll take you if I finish in time.

- Oh, I sure hope so.

Mr. Wilson can't take me because he's sick.

And it must be pretty serious because unless he rests up,

something's going to have to come out.

- Well, how do you know that?

- Well, I was just over there, and Mr. Wilson told me himself.

- Well, that's a darn shame.

- Oh.

Speaking of something coming out, Henry,

don't you think Dr. Baker ought to take

another look at Dennis' tonsils?

- Jeepers, Mom.

My tonsils are swell.

l leave them alone, and they leave me alone.

- Open up.

- You see, dear.

His throat does look a little irritated.

- Well, just to be on the safe side,

let's call Dr. Baker today and see what he has to suggest, OK?

- On my week's vacation?

- What better time?

- Oh, all right.

But right now I got to round up the gang

to get Mr. Wilson a get well card before he gets any sicker.

- We're very sorry you're sick in the head, so please get up.

We need the bed.

- Being sick is a bitter pill.

But wait until you pay the bill.

- That's pretty.

- Hey, gang.

How about getting Mr. Wilson a swell comic book instead?

- A comic book? - Sure.

We can get one for the same price as a get well card.

- Yeah, and we can read it too.

- Hey, this sounds like a good get well one.

"Dicky Duggen and the Monster Who Breathes Fire."

- I can't even have a dog.

- Let's see, that's 10 cents gone out of--

[bells]

- Hi, Sergeant Mooney. - Hi, Sergeant.

T - Hi.

- Well, good morning, boys.

Oh, improving your minds, I see, huh?

- This is for Mr. Wilson.

He's sick in bed.

- John Wilson?

What's wrong with him?

- Well, I don't know for sure.

But he's pretty sick.

He may even have to be operated on.

- Well, if I know John Wilson, he'll

do it himself to save the money. [laughs]

- Hello, Sergeant Mooney.

- My special, John.

- Yes, sir.

There we are.

- Hello, boys. - Bye, Sergeant Mooney.

- Bye Sergeant.

- Bye.

- Sounds like Mr. Wilson's a pretty sick man, Dennis.

- Oh, he is, Mr. Nelson.

That's why we're buying him this swell comic book.

- Yeah.

And some candy too.

- Candy, huh?

Well, let's see.

I got a one pound box for $1.45, three pound box for $3.95.

- What do you have for $0.22?

- John, you really ought to be ashamed

of yourself telling Dennis you're sick.

- Eloise, there's nothing wrong with a harmless little

white lie, especially when it worked as well as that one did.

- And do you still refuse to see Dr. Baker for that check up?

- You'll have to talk louder, dear.

I can't hear a word you're saying.

- John, I'm really quite annoyed with you.

Well, here come Henry and Alice.

- I wonder what they're doing here.

- I haven't the slightest idea.

- Oh, dear.

- Well, what is it?

- Do you suppose Dennis told them that I'm sick?

- It would serve you right for not seeing a doctor.

Harmless little white lie.

[door bell]

- Maybe I better go upstairs just to make sure.

- Why, Henry and Alice, what a nice surprise.

- Well, we heard John was a little under the weather.

- Well, he does seem to be having his ups and downs lately.

- If he feels like it, we thought he might enjoy these cookies.

- Oh, I'm sure he will.

Why don't the two of you go up and say hello?

- We'd love to.

- If you think it's all right.

- Oh, all right?

Why, he'd adore seeing you.

John, you're about to have visitors.

- Oh.

- Oh, incidentally, he refuses to see Dr. Baker.

Now, maybe the two of you can talk some sense

into that thick head of his.

- Well, we'll try.

- Good.

- John?

- Eh, uh, uh, come in.

- Hello, Mr. Wilson. I baked you some cookies.

- Oh, Alice, how nice. Henry.

- Dennis was telling us you're a little under the weather.

- Yes, yes.

Well, I'm, uh, struggling along, Henry, struggling along.

- We were just talking with Eloise downstairs

and, uh-- Mr. Wilson, why don't you see a doctor?

- You were talking with my wife?

- Well, yes, John.

If there's something wrong with your plumbing,

you call in a plumber.

If you don't feel well, you call in a doctor.

- Well, my plumbing is fine.

As a matter of fact, I'm fine.

- Well, then what are you doing in bed?

- Well, I'm in bed because I'm a little tired.

- Here you are, dear.

- Oh, thank you.

Oh, my, those are excellent cookies.

- I should think you'd choke on them.

- Oh, Eloise.

Incidentally that was a dirty trick

if I ever saw one, sending Henry and Alice upstairs.

- That, my dear, is the price you pay

for harmless little white lies.

- Oh, Eloise, all I wanted to do was have one day to myself.

If Dennis thought for one minute--

[children's laughter]

- Uh oh.

- What is it?

- Dennis and his bunch of pack rats.

- Nobody eats anymore candy, Seymour.

We bought it for Mr. Wilson.

- But I'm hungry.

- Now listen, kids.

Since we pooled our money together

to get these gifts for Mr. Wilson, we'll all go in.

[door bell]

- Bye, dear.

Have a nice trip.

- Eloise, I am not going up those stairs again today.

[door bell]

- Then you won't mind if I tell Dennis

about your little white lie?

- All right, all right.

But get rid of them.

I'm going to enjoy what's left of the day.

- Hello there, children.

- Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

- Hi.

- How's Mr. Wilson feeling?

- Oh, I think he'll live.

- Good.

Let's eat the candy.

- Seymour.

Can we see him now, Mrs. Wilson?

- Well, of course you can.

As a matter of fact, Mr. Wilson was saying just a minute ago

that he hoped all his little friends would drop by.

- That does it.

All I wanted was a day of rest.

I'll leaver her. That's what I'll do.

I'll leave her, just walk out and leave her.

No, I won't.

I'll stay here and make her life miserable.

- Mr. Wilson?

Mr.Wilson?

- He's gone.

Now can we eat the candy?

- Do you mind?

- All of us kids chipped in and bought you

a bag of assorted candy, Mr. Wilson.

- We left almost all of the kind you like.

- Corn candy?

Oh, well, thank you, fellas. Thank you.

- Here.

We bought you this swell comic book too.

- It was new when we got it.

But it may be a little sticky now.

- I'm tired.

May I lay down?

- You may not.

- We told everybody we met about you being sick, Mr. Wilson.

- You told everybody? Dennis, you didn't?

Oh, no.

- Bye, Mrs. Wilson. - Bye, bye, boys.

Thank you very much for coming.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Bye. - Bye, bye.

- Hello, children.

- Hi, Dr. Baker.

- I'll be over to see you in a few minutes, Dennis.

- Mom called Dr. Baker.

He's going to look at my tonsils.

- My brother keeps his tonsils in a glass jar.

- Doesn't that hurt when he swallows?

- Whew, what a day. Now maybe I can relax and read--

[door bell]

- Oh, not again.

- Well, Dr. Baker?

- Eloise.

What's this I hear about John?

He got another doctor or something?

- What in the world makes you think that?

- Well, what should I think?

He won't come to see me.

And now I hear he's sick.

It's all over town.

- All over town?

Dear, that little white lie has spread.

- What's that?

- Never mind.

Doctor, I have tried to get him to come to see you.

But you know how stubborn he is.

He's up there now, and I hope you

have better luck than I've had.

[knock on door]

- What's going on, John?

- What are you doing here?

If that wife of mine--

- Simmer down.

It wasn't her.

I knew you needed an examination, John.

I told you that a month ago.

So I popped in to--

- Well, you can just pop out again,

and don't send me a bill.

- Not feeling too well, eh?

- I feel great.

It's just that I'm-- I'm tired.

So?

- Well, you might sleep a whole lot

better if you took your shoes off.

- Oh, very funny.

- Now, you be at the hospital by four, John.

I'll see about a room for you for a couple of days.

- Hospital?

Now just a minute.

- Now, either you be there to have that examination

that you've been postponing for so long

or you can get yourself another doctor.

- Why, that old fuddy duddy.

Oh.

- Well, what are you going to do, John?

- I'm going to get undressed and get into bed.

Between you and Dennis and the Mitchells and that-- that nosy,

old quack that just left here, my day

off is making me a nervous wreck.

- Well, what do you think, Dr. Baker?

- Well, I'd say those tonsils are going

to have to come out sooner or later, Alice.

- Let's make it later.

- We'll talk about that, young man.

- Hey, Dennis, we're waiting for you.

- I'm coming, Tommy.

Excuse me.

- You gonna get your tonsils out, Dennis?

- I guess so.

- How many you got?

Six?

- People don't have six tonsils, Seymour.

They have two.

- Well, come on now, guys.

We got to think how to keep everything quiet so Mr.

Wilson can rest up and get well.

Jeepers.

Reverend Stone.

Boy, Mr. Wilson must be getting worse.

Now we're really going to have to try and help him.

[dog barking]

- Come on, gang.

We got to make that dog stop barking.

[dog barking]

- Sergeant Mooney, fancy meeting you here.

- Good afternoon, Mrs. Elkins.

I was about to say the same thing to you too.

- Mr. Quigley just told me about Mr. Wilson's sudden illness.

- I know.

You're, uh, finally getting results

from the pin stuck in that doll that looks like him, huh?

- Sergeant.

I'm simply here as a good neighbor.

In spite of our not always seeing eye to eye,

the man is a human being in his own way.

- Well, I'm quite concerned about John Wilson too, you know.

- You, Sergeant?

- Well, yes.

I'm here to collect the eight bucks he owes me

just in case he decides to kick the bucket, [laughs].

[door bell]

- Oh, Mrs. Elkins, Sergeant Mooney.

What a nice surprise.

Come on in.

- We just thought we'd drop by for a moment.

- Well, I'm so glad you did.

Oh, John, will be so pleased.

Well, just go along upstairs.

I have a few things to tend to in the kitchen.

Oh, uh, Reverend Stone is with him now.

But he'll be leaving soon.

- Reverend Stone?

My goodness.

- He must be worse than we thought.

- If Eloise brought you over here to talk me

into going to the hospital, Reverend, it's no use.

- No, John. No.

I'm more concerned with your soul than with your body.

- Well, I guess we told that dumb old dog off.

- I wonder what Reverend Stone told Mr. Wilson.

- Maybe Mr. Wilson put a slug in the collection plate.

- Children.

- Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

- Hi.

- Boys, you've done a wonderful job

keeping the neighborhood quiet.

However, Mr. Wilson has had his nap, and he's awake now.

- Is he feeling any better?

We saw Reverend Stone go in and--

- He's going to be just fine, Dennis.

- Did you hear that, kids?

Mr. Wilson's better.

- Eh, maybe I could just stick my head in, huh?

I don't want to go hitting him up

for any money at a time like this.

- I should think not if the poor man's bearing his soul,

especially since he has so much to bear.

- You're not a young man anymore, John.

And the time has come to make your peace before you

take an, uh, unexpected journey one of these days.

- I assure you, Reverend, I have no intention

of taking an unexpected journey in the near future.

- I got to get back to the job.

I'll just say hello.

REVEREND STONE (OFFSCREEN): My son,

this is one trip we all take.

And, unfortunately, it's always one way.

You're not a young man anymore, John.

And the time has come to make your peace before you take--

- Poor man.

- Gee, I never dreamed he was that far gone.

- Oh, my goodness.

You two didn't stay long.

- You poor, brave woman.

- We had our differences, Mrs. Wilson.

But basically he was a good man.

- Just yesterday he was his old, healthy, nasty self.

- I know, I know.

He even called me a fat head.

- I doubt very much if that man can ever be saved.

- Sergeant Mooney.

Oh, the poor man.

- There, there, Mrs. Elkins.

Maybe he'll still pull through.

I wasn't worried about a lousy eight bucks.

- Oh, I-- I've treated him terribly.

Remember the time I had him arrested

for burning his smelly old incinerator after hours?

- I remember.

I'm the one that arrested him once he called me a flat foot.

- Just last week I accused him of ten canning my cat, Tinkerbell.

- John, what in the world is going on?

- Eloise, how can you stand there dry

eyed while this whole wonderful town is crying over me?

- Uh, Eloise, I'll see you in a few hours.

- Oh, John, you're dressed.

I knew you'd come to your senses.

A few hours?

Dr. Baker expects you to stay in the hospital at least two days.

- I'm not going to the hospital.

I'm going to the sports show.

- Oh, John.

You can't.

- Eloise, I am not going to miss that show.

I've already tell you there's to be a demonstration of fly

casting by the world's champion trout fisherman, and I am not--

- The afternoon paper.

- John Wilson ill with mysterious malady.

Well known citizen suddenly stricken at home.

I finally made the front page.

- Now the whole town thinks you really are sick.

- Thanks to Dennis spreading it around.

- Well, you would tell him a little white lie.

- Well, just relax, my dear.

I'm going to disguise myself so no one will recognize me.

I'm going to put on this old, slouch hat, this overcoat,

and then I have some dark glasses.

- John. - Hmm?

- I'm thinking of disguising myself as a widow.

- Maybe you ought to ask Mr. Wilson to go to the sports show

with us, Dad.

- Oh, I doubt that Mr. Wilson feels that much better, son.

- Hey, Dad, look. There's Mr. Wilson.

- John.

- Henry, uh, it's you.

- Well, John, I thought you were still in bed.

- Oh.

Well, no, I was just going down, uh,

to the hospital to get some special medicine.

- Well, my goodness. Come on.

We'll take you down. Come on.

Get in the car. - Oh, no.

Henry, really, I'd just as soon walk.

- Oh, we won't takes no for an answer.

- Come on, Mr. Wilson.

- I'd prefer to-- I don't want to put you

through all that trouble.

- Remember, you take a taxi home.

- I'll tell you all about the sport's show when I see you,

Mr. Wilson.

- You do that, Dennis. - See you.

- Doc.

- Well, it's about time, John.

Your room is all ready.

- Oh, now you don't, Doc.

- Now, John, you stop that.

- Hmm?

No, look, you don't understand.

- John, it's for your own good. - Come on, let go, doctor.

- John. - Let go.

- Let go. - Boys.

- What do you think you're doing?

Doc, come on now.

Be reasonable.

Doc.

- There.

Now this isn't so bad, is it?

- Well, at least I can get all those silly tests over

with at one time.

- Like Dr. Baker's been telling you to for a month.

- Eloise, just imagine, two whole days without Dennis.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

- Hello, dear.

- Dennis, what are you doing here?

- This young man decided to have his tonsils out.

- You didn't?

- Alice and I finally convinced the hospital to let Dennis

be with you.

- What?

- I thought you'd be surprised, Mr. Wilson.

Now we can share a room together.

- Isn't that wonderful, John?

- That's just peachy dandy.

Good night.

[applause]

[theme music]

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): This has

been a Screen Gems film production.

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