All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S03E37.Community.Picnic.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

[music playing]

- Dad, it sure would be
terrible if there were orphans

in the world, and nobody
helped them, wouldn't it?

- Oh, I think everyone tries to
help orphans when they need it.

- Even when it takes
a little trouble?

- Well, helping people usually
does take a little trouble.

- This will take very
little trouble, Dad.

All we have to do is watch where
we sit when we take a bath?

- What?

- Well, people down the block
left a dozen orphan goldfish

when they moved away yesterday.

- Goldfish?

- I put them in our bathtub.

Helping's fun, isn't it, dad?

- Dennis!

[theme music]

- (SINGING) Come,
sweetheart, tell me.

Now is the time.

You tell me your dream.

And I'll tell you mine.

[howling]

- All right, Fremont.
Quiet.

- Don't blame the pooch, John.

The way you mangled that last
note, any dog would howl.

- And you do it every time.

Are you with us, or against us?

- I like the way you
sing, Mr. Wilson.

It's real different.

- Well, we still have another
day before the charity picnic.

You'll be perfect by then, John.

- You bet I well.

Well, let's have our last
practice here tomorrow night,

right?
- All right.

- You sure we ought to
go through with this?

We didn't even sound good to me.

- Yeah, how did you let us get
hooked into this entertaining,

anyway.

- Oh, our quartet will be
the hit of the occasion.

- Well, I hope so.
- Good night, John.

- Good night.
- See you tomorrow night.

- Won't you stay for more coffee?

- No thanks.

No more tonight.

- No thank you.

- You sounded wonderful.

- Thank you.

- You know, I can't understand
Finch and Quigley not having

confidence in our quartet.

Why, when we sing out
there at that picnic,

everybody is going to be amazed.

- Oh, I'm sure they will, John.

- Are you going to be in the
three-legged races and stuff

again this year, dad?

- No.

When the athletic events
come up this year,

I'm just going to watch.

Uh, your brother and
I teamed up last year.

- They sure did.

And they were the favorite
team, weren't they mom?

- Well, they were our
favorites, anyway, dear.

- Remember how everybody
was laughing and hollering

in that race where
dad had to crawl

through all those barrels?

- Well, you make it sound
very exciting, Dennis.

- Sure was.

And they said dad
did something that

had never been done before.

- Really, Henry?

What was that?

Did you set some new kind
of a record, or something?

- Well not exactly, John.

I--
- Heck no.

He was crawling through
the last barrel,

and he got his pants
caught on a nail.

And he had to wear
the barrel home.

Oh, you should have seen
his picture in the paper.

- [chuckling] They got
my bad side, John.

So this year I'm just
going to be a spectator.

- I don't blame you, Henry.

I'll sit with you,
and help you spectate.

- That'll be $1.10 for
this shaving lotion.

Need any razor blades?

- No, not today, thanks.

- Can I sell you anything, John?

- No, thank you.

I just came down for the walk.

- You'll have to walk back.

Need any vitamin pills?
- I believe not.

- Well, good morning, Mitchell.

- Hello, Brady.

- Say, I'm glad I ran into you.

I understand you're in
line for congratulations.

- For what?

- For staying out of the
sports events tomorrow.

You won't have to take your
annual beating from me.

- Yes, I'm sitting this one out.

- Say, uh, you're George
Wilson's brother, aren't you?

- I am.

- Sorry, John, I should
have introduced you.

This is Jack Brady, one of
our more confident citizens.

- Yeah, your brother
was Mitchell's partner

at last year's picnic.

Boy, I rarely murdered them.

- Indeed?

- Yeah, it was pitiful.

Say, I don't suppose you'd care
to team up with Mitchell here,

and give me a crack
at you, would you?

- No, I, I don't plan to enter.

- Too bad.

I'd like to add another
Wilson scalp to my belt.

- Oh, apparently you feel
that any contest between us

would have only one result?

- I'm positive.

- You certainly are.

Henry, would you
accept me as a partner?

- Why yes, John.

- Splendid.

I'd like to prove
to this gentleman

that deeds speak
louder than words.

- Ho!

This is great!

I open the door, and in
flies a pair of pigeons.

- Well, I think that
Henry and I can

give a good account
of ourselves.

- Oh, yeah?

Well wait until you
meet my partner.

Hey Tiny, come on in here.

This is Tiny Hawkins,
new assistant foreman

down at our place.

This is Henry Mitchell.

- Pleased to meet you.

- That's quite a grip you've got.

- Oh, I'm sorry if
I hurt you, honest.

I wasn't showing off or nothing.

- And this is John Wilson.

- If you don't mind,
I'll just nod.

- [chuckling] He's just a
big, overgrown kid, Wilson.

And speaking of kids, Mitchell,
you can tell that boy of yours

that my Johnny will win the
sports events tomorrow, too.

[chuckling] Let's go, Tiny.

- We'd better hurry
home, Henry, and get

in some good practice for
our athletic contests.

- It would be a waste of time.

He's so big.

- What if he is?

David defeated Goliath.

- I'd hate to throw rocks at him.

- A little tug of war should
tone up our muscles, Henry.

We can't let Brady and
his trained gorilla

beat us without a struggle.

- I'm not going to let
Johnny Grady beat me either.

I'm going to run
faster, blow up balloons

faster, and do
everything faster.

- Well, that's fine, son.

- I'm going to practice
the sack race first.

Could you help me into it?

- Oh, sure.

Here.

Remember your balance.

- OK, dad.

- Very important.

I bet this is how a baby
kangaroo feels, huh Mr. Wilson?

- Well, I don't know.

I have never been a kangaroo,
baby or otherwise, Dennis.

- Well, here I go.

Jeepers, this is easy.

- Uh, Henry, we'll use this
pillow as a center line.

Now you take the
end of the rope.

We'll try to pull
each other across it.

- Yeah.

- Get a good grip.

Now when I say pull, you pull.

All right.

Pull.

There we go.

Oh!

- Whoa!

Did I get in your way, Mr.
Wilson, or did you get in mine?

- Dennis, you'd better run along.

Mr. Wilson and I
have to practice.

- Jeepers, dad.

I've got to practice, too.

We all want to win
tomorrow, don't we?

- Dennis, my boy,
how would you like

to do something important to
help your father and me win?

- Sure, Mr. Wilson.

What is it?

- Well, we want to practice
the potato and spoon race.

- Oh, you mean the one where
you run back and forth

with a potato and a spoon?

- That's right.

Now there isn't a single
potato in the house.

- Oh, you want me to
go to the market, huh?

- Good, my boy, good.

A-a-and charge it to me.

- OK.

- Uh, Dennis, out of the sack.

- OK, dad.

- Good thinking, John.

I

- Not only have it
here, but here.

- There you are.

Thank you, and, uh, call again.

- Hi, Mr. Quigley.

- Well, hello, Dennis.

What can I do for you today?

- I'm here to look
at your potatoes.

- Oh, just a minute son.

I'll wait on you.

- You don't have to, Mr. Quigly.

All I want is--

- No, I don't want
you rooting around

over here all by yourself.

- Mr. Quigley, all I want is--

- You don't have to tell me.

Your mother always gets
five pounds of potatoes.

There you are.
- But I don't want five pounds.

I just want one.

- Are you sure?

- Sure I'm sure.

- Well, very well.

One pound it is.

- Not one pound, Mr. Quigley.

Just one potato.

- One potato?

Is your mother flip?

- It's not for mom.

It's for Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, Wilson, huh?

He must be on a crash diet.

All right.

There you are, with
my compliments.

- Jeepers, I can't use
this one, Mr. Quigley.

It's too big.

- Too big for what?

- For the spoon and
potato race tomorrow.

I've got to have a little
one that won't fall out.

- Dennis, as much as the sale
of one potato means to me,

I do have a customer
waiting over there.

- Oh, you wait on her.

I can find the right size.

Do you keep the little
potatoes on the bottom,

like you do the
little strawberries?

- Shh!

[music playing]

- Hey, there's a little one.

- Oh, I knew I shouldn't
have left you alone.

- That old bin's pretty
weak, Mr. Quigley.

- A guy owns a grocery store,
along comes a little kid,

makes a bowling alley out of it.

- Wait, Mr. Quigley.

That's it.

That's the one I want.

Boy, you sure know how to pick
out potatoes, Mr. Quigley.

It fits perfectly.

- Well, then take it
and go far, far away.

- OK.

Hey, mom, what's in the bowl?

- Same thing that was in it
when you asked me a minute ago.

- Macaroni salad?

- That's right.

It hasn't changed.

- Can I taste one, just
one little old macaroni?

- That answer hasn't
changed either.

- Jeepers, mom.

I'm awful hungry.

You wouldn't want me to starve
in my own house, would you?

- Oh, don't be so pitiful.

We'll be at the picnic
grounds in less than an hour.

- OK, mom.

Boy, those eggs sure
look good, Mrs. Wilson.

- They're just ordinary
hard boiled eggs, dear.

- I bet they're not ordinary
the way you boil them.

I bet they're real special.

- Oh, I hardly think that.

Just let me taste one, huh?

Then I can tell you
how special they are.

- Dennis.

- OK, mom.

- Hands off, young man.

- Jeepers, mom.

I was going to take a gizzard.

Gizzards are hard and tough.

Nobody would eat them,
except a poor little starving

boy who is weak and
hungry like I am.

- Please, you're making me cry.

- Well, how do you like
the quartet outfits?

- Oh, that's very attractive.

- Henry, you look just the
way you did in college, when

you serenaded me under
my dormitory window.

- This time I hope n
one throws water on me.

- Is there anything
we can do to help?

- No, everything is under
control, oh, except Dennis.

- What's with you, son?
- Jeepers.

I'm awful hungry.

Mom says I have to wait
until we get to the picnic.

- Well, your mother's
absolutely right, Dennis.

If you ate now, you would
spoil your appetite.

- You must learn to
control yourself, Dennis,

and not give in
to your cravings.

- Mom, I hate to be a tattletale.

But dad and Mr. Wilson are--

- Help yourself.

I thought you
wanted the gizzard.

- Heck, who wants a tough
old piece like that?

[music playing]

[finding their pitch]

- One, a-two.

- (SINGING) I had a dream, dear.

You had one, too.

Mine was the best dream,
because it was of you.

Come, sweetheart, tell me.

Now is the time.

You tell me--

- Boy, they sure sing
swell, don't they mom?

- Yes, dear.
Sh.

- (SINGING) And
I'll tell you mine.

[howling]

[applause]

[howling]

- Hey, you guys.

You lost your top tenor.

Best voice in the group.

[laughing sarcastically]

- You were wonderful.
- Thank you.

- Boy, you sure sung swell, dad.

I don't care what
Mr. Brady says.

Fremont can't sing as good
as you and Mr. Wilson.

Can he, Tommy?

- Heck, no.

He don't even know the words.

- All right, everybody.

Everybody, attention.

We're going to start the
contest for the kids.

The first event is the
balloon blowing contest.

Come on, boys.
[cheering]

- Come on, fellas.

Let's go.

- Come on.

- Here you are.
Here you are.

Take your balloons.

- You might as well
give up, Dennis.

You haven't got enough wind
to blow up a paper bag.

- Jeepers, nobody's as windy
as you are, Johnny Brady.

- Oh, is that so?

- Yeah, that's so.
- All right.

Knock it off now.
Come on.

Line up over here.

Now you understand the rules.

When I tell you to
go, you start to blow.

You blow as hard as you can,
until I tell you to stop.

And the biggest balloon wins.

If a balloon breaks, you're out.

All ready, set, go.
- Come on.

Come on.
Blow, boy, blow.

[cheering]

- Come on, blow Johnny.
Come on.

Big breaths, boy, big, big.

- Blow, blow, son.

Blow.
- Give it a little more.

Give it a little more, Johnny.
Come on.

Come on.
Come on.

- Aw, for Pete's sake, dad.

Whose side are you on, anyhow?

- Blow, boys, blow.

- Now remember what I told you.

Long jumps.

We gotta win this one, boy.

- OK, I'll win it.

- Don't forget what I told
you about your balance.

- OK, dad.

- All ready, set, go.

[cheering]

- Go, son, go.
- Come on.

What are you waiting for.
Jump!

- I can't.

You're standing on my sack.

- Why don't you stop
helping the boy, Brady,

and give him a
chance to win one?

Go, Dennis, go!

- You better get with it, John.

- Say, that's right, Henry.

It's almost time for our events.

We better loosen up our muscles.

- I'm with you, John.

- Honey, why don't you
skip the tug of war?

- Honey, we can skip
any of the events.

Every single point counts.

Even if we only come in second
or third in the tug of war,

why, it all adds up
to our final score.

- Well, do your best, then.

- OK.

- Heck, you don't have
to worry about dad, mom.

Him and Mr. Wilson can
beat anybody, huh, dad?

- We're going to try, son.

- Hey, Mitchell.

They're going to
start the tug of war.

Are you coming?

Or are you and your friend
going to be wall flowers?

- We'll be there, Brady.

- You know, I'll be surprised
if you guys can lift the rope.

Come on, Tiny.

- Wow, look at all those muscles.
- Yeah.

He looks like Tarzan.

- [clearing throat]
Come on, Henry.

- And the winners, [inaudible].

All right, next contestants.

- Oh!

- Come on, dad.

Come on, Mr. Wilson.

- Come on, Mr. Mitchell.

- Give it to them, Tiny.

- Dig your heels in good, Henry.

We'll give them all we've got.

- We'll at least give
them a fight, John.

- Ready, set, go.

[cheering]

- Wow, look at your dad run.

- If that had been the 50
yard dash, dad and Mr. Wilson

would have won by a mile.

[cheering]

MALE SPEAKER
(OFFSCREEN): All right.

Go!

[cheering]

- Boy, they sure are swell
athletes, aren't they mom?

- The best.

- You have lots of
points, haven't you?

- Yes.

Right now it's a tie
between the Mitchell Wilson

team and the Brady Hawkins team.

- The only thing left is
the egg tossing contest.

That ought to be
right up our alley.

- Dad, would you get
this pickle out for me?

- OK.

Stuck.

- Maybe I can reach
my hand in there.

- No, no, no.

I'll get it.

- Dennis, you'll
make yourself sick.

You've already
had enough pickles

to-- what's the matter, dear?
- Nothing.

Nothing at all.

I--

- He can't get his hand out.

- Oh, here.

Let me.

- I feel so silly, John

- Sure is stuck.

Here, I know what to do.

- No!

- No, Tommy, don't.

You'll cut his hand.

- Wilson, Mitchell, we're ready
for the egg throwing contest.

Come on.

Let's go.

- We'll be with you
in a minute, Mitch.

Just give us a minute.

- Pull harder.

- Hey, what's
holding you guys up?

- Just a minute, [inaudible].

- As soon as dad gets his hand
unstuck from the pickle jar.

Show him, dad.

- Hey, how in the heck?

Hey, Tiny, come here.

Get a look at this.

- How are you going
to catch an egg

with your hand in a pickle jar.

- I haven't quite figured
that out yet, Finch.

- We can't wait
all day, Mitchell.

Come on.
Let's get started.

- This event's going
to declare the winner.

What are you going to
do about it, Henry?

- Give us time.

Give us time.

- You guys better default.

- Default?

I can still play.

I, I'll get another partner.

- Oh, no you don't.

No, sir.

Your team is Wilson
and Mitchell.

That's the way it's
listed, right Finch?

- Well, it started that way.

- Yeah, and that's the
way it's got to stay.

If Wilson and Mitchell drop
out, then me and Tiny win.

We're way ahead
of everybody else.

- I feel like such a dunce, John.

- Hey, I know.

I'll be your
partner, Mr. Wilson.

I'm Mitchell, just like dad.

We can be Wilson and Mitchell.

Can't we, Mr. Finch?
- Yeah.

That's the same name, Dennis.

Any objection to that, Brady.

- No.

No, that's OK.

We'll settle for
the little fella.

- All right, Dennis.

I don't know what else I can do.

- Oh boy!

- Oh, no.

Dennis, you stand right there.

- Don't you worry, Mr. Wilson.

I'm a dandy pitcher.

You just stand back.

And I'll peg this
whole thing in--

- No, Dennis.

No, good heavens.

I, I don't want you
to peg it in there.

Give me that.
I'll show you.

Like that.

- You mean you throw
it like a girl?

- Yes.

- All right, boys.

Get ready.

Now you understand
how to do this.

You toss an egg, and step back.

And you toss it
again, and step back.

The team left with
the unbroken egg wins.

All ready, set, go.

[music playing]

- Attaboy, Dennis.

- Good, John.

- You're all thumbs, Wilson.

Look out for this
next one, Wilson.

What's the matter
with you, clumsy?

- Well, did you break
something, Brady?

[laughing]

- That's it, folks.

The winners--
Wilson and Mitchell.

[cheering]

- That concludes
the spots, folks.

And the winning team for the
day is Wilson and Mitchell.

Let's all of us give
them a big hand.

[cheering]

- You sure are a good
egg catcher, Mr. Wilson.

- You're the one who
did it, partner.

- Were you a team, Dennis.

[chattering]

- Oh, Dennis, I'm proud of you
catching the egg that way.

- Oh, mom, it was nothing.

But it sure is a good thing we
used a hard boiled egg, though.

Or I bet our would
have broken, too.

- Oh no.

Dennis, is that the
egg we won with?

- Sure, Mr. Wilson.

I got it out of our egg bowl.

- Oh, this is terrible.

- After the razzing we
gave Brady, oh boy.

- Is something the matter?

- Well, yes, son.

You're not supposed to
use a hard boiled egg.

- Jeepers, dad.

They're the best kind.

They don't break.

- He didn't know the rules, dear.

Nobody told him.

- What are you going to do, John.

There's only one thing to do.

We didn't win the
contest fairly.

So we'll have to tell Brady.

- You're right, John.

- Do you mean we lost?

- Yes, Dennis.

We lost.

You're not supposed to
use a hard boiled egg.

We brought eggs for the
contest, fresh ones.

Come on, Dennis.

Uh, uh, Brady?

- Yeah?

- I, well, I want
everyone to hear this.

It's about the egg
throwing contest.

- What about it?
You won.

What do you want?
A medal?

- No.
No.

As a matter of fact,
Dennis and I didn't win.

You see, Dennis
didn't know the rules.

So he brought along a hard
boiled egg for us to throw.

- A hard boiled egg?

Well, no wonder it didn't break.

- So you and your partner
are the winners, Brady.

And I apologize.

- Yeah, but we busted our egg.

- We used the wrong kind.

Well, I guess we sot of
tied for first place.

- Well, I'll be darned.

Wilson, you're not
such a bad guy at that.

A real honest man.

Put her there.

- Oh, great Cesar.

- See, Mr. Wilson.

I told you a hard
boiled egg was better.

[theme music]

MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): This
has been a Screen Gems film

production from the Hollywood
studios of Columbia Pictures.