All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S03E28.The.Treasure.Chest.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

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Original subtitles

- Thank you, gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen, this I wanted to keep for myself.

But according to law, everything here must go up for bidding.

This magnificent old seaman's chest, genuine teak wood,

with real brass fittings all around,

left unclaimed by some unknown seafarer.

- What's in it, Mister Auctioneer?

- Who knows, my boy?

But that's a very good question.

I like a curious boy.

After all, if Columbus hadn't been curious,

America would never have been discovered.

[chuckling]

Folks, there is no key to this chest,

therefore the contents are unknown.

Now, we can start the bidding for the low storage

charge, $18.

- I'll bid $18.

- I have $18.

Do I hear 20?

Oh, come come, ladies and gentlemen.

Who knows what this fabulous treasure chest may contain?

Pearls from the Orient, Spanish doubloons.

A fortune in spices, a king's ransom in rubies.

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson, that's really something.

- You may be right, Dennis.

$20.

- I have $20.

- Do I hear 25?

- $25.

- It may be full of silver.

- $30.

- $30 has been bid.

- $35.

- Or maybe full of gold.

- $40.

- Or maybe even diamonds.

- $50.

- $50, going once, $50 going twice,

and sold for $50 to that adventurous soul down

there wearing the purple tie.

Would you see the cashier, please?

- Hey, Mr. Wilson, why did you bid $50

when nobody raised your $40?

- What?

Oh, good grief.

[theme music]

- This is the last one.

Oh, blast.

These keys don't fit either.

- George, you've been trying to open that chest all afternoon.

- Well Martha, I've got to know what's in it.

- Did you get the chest open yet?

- No, he hasn't, Dennis.

- Jeepers, I brought Tommy over to see the treasure.

- I'm afraid we're just going to have

to go after it with a hammer and chisel, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh no, Mitchell.

I couldn't spoil a genuine teak wood chest.

No, I'll have to call a locksmith.

It'll cost me $10, but it'll be well worth it.

- Well, you'll just have to call him tomorrow, dear.

We're already late for the Timberlakes.

- Oh, all right, Martha.

I guess I can wait another day to find out I'm a millionaire.

Thanks for your keys, Mitchell.

- Sorry they weren't any help, Mr. Wilson.

Oh Dennis, come on home soon.

Dinner's almost ready.

- OK, Dad.

- Boy, this is some chest, isn't it, Tommy?

- Yeah.

But what good is it if you can't get it open?

- It's too bad my mom wasn't here instead of my dad.

She can open anything with a hair pin.

- Hey, I got a piece of wire.

Here it is.

- Boy, if we could open the chest with this,

it sure would help Mr. Wilson.

- Save him $10.

- Come on, let's try it.

- How does your mom do it, Dennis?

- Well, she sticks the hair pin in the key hole

and jiggles it around like this.

- You did it, Dennis.

- Wow, look at all this swell stuff.

- Boy, I bet this belonged to an old sea captain.

- A spy glass.

This is what pirates used to look for ships to rob.

- Hey, Dennis, where's all the treasure

that's supposed to be in here?

- I don't know.

The pirates probably buried it on some desert island.

Hey, we better put all this stuff back.

I've got to get home for dinner.

Poor old Mr. Wilson, he was expecting

to find pearls and rubies and Spanish balloons.

Well, see you tomorrow, Tommy.

- Bye, Dennis.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

No.

For heaven's sakes, Johnny, I thought you were a locksmith.

- Take it easy, Mr. Wilson.

After all, this is a very complicated lock.

And besides, it's rusted.

Probably from the salt water.

- Oh, fiddle faddle.

My mother could have opened that with a hair pin.

- Yes?

I think I got it.

Yeah, there it is.

- I'll do that.

- What's in there?

- Oh, never mind what's in there.

Here's your money.

Goodbye.

- OK.

OK! OK.

Happy treasure hunting.

- I wonder if I'll have to report this loot to the Internal

Revenue department.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, Dennis!

Oh, for heaven's sakes, now look what you've done.

It's locked again.

I'll have to get Johnny back.

Johnny!

- Wait, Mr. Wilson.

I can open it.

Here it is.

- Johnny, come back here.

Wait.

Oh, blast.

He got away.

- Oh now, Dennis, will you-- well, how did this get open?

- I opened it, Mr. Wilson, with this.

- You opened it with that piece of wire?

- Sure.

You see, I didn't have a hair pin.

- A hair pin?

And I just gave Johnny-- oh, great Scott.

Oh, well.

Let's see what's in here.

What's this?

Oh, good grief.

Why, there's nothing in here but junk.

- I wouldn't call it junk, Mr. Wilson.

You could have a lot with this stuff playing Pirates.

- Well, I could have a lot of fun with the $50 it cost me too.

- Can maybe Tommy and I play with it?

- Oh, no.

I-- I don't care what you do with it.

Ooh!

- Do you think we got enough pirate stuff in here, Tommy?

If we're gonna charge kids, we gotta make it interesting.

- I forgot the starfish.

That's interesting.

- Hey, I know what we ought to put in.

A map, show them where buried treasure is.

- What buried treasure?

- Any buried treasure.

Everybody knows pirates buried their treasure way out

on some desert island.

- That's a keen idea, Dennis.

But where are we gonna get this treasure map?

- We'll make one.

Here, we'll draw it on this old piece of paper.

- What'll we draw it with?

- Here.

We'll do it with a piece of good old Mr. Wilson's barbecue

charcoal.

- Good thinking, Dennis.

- Pirate Dennis.

- OK, Pirate Dennis.

And remember, I'm Captain Kid.

- OK.

Now I'll draw a desert island.

- Have you ever seen a desert island?

- No.

But the other kids haven't either.

- Good thinking.

- Now, here's where the boat lands with the treasure.

- And that's where we bury it?

- No, we've got to make it hard to find.

- Good thinking.

- We've got 100 steps till we come to a tree.

- What kind of a tree?

- Oh, a cherry tree.

Then we climb the tree and look through the spy glass

until we see a rock.

And that'll be Dead Man's Rock.

- Boy, that's neat.

- Then we climb the rock and look through the spy glass

until we see a cave.

- How far is the cave?

- Oh, about two miles.

And that's where the treasure is buried.

I'll mark it with an X.

- Shouldn't the island have a name?

- Good thinking, Captain Kid.

Do you know any islands?

- Hm.

How about Coney Island?

- Nah, that's too full of people.

- Hey, during the war, my pop was on a Marshall Island.

That's way out in the Pacific Ocean.

- Good thinking.

How do you spell Marshall Island?

- I think it's M-A-R-S-H--

- That's enough.

R-S-H-- there.

- Let me see it.

Ow.

- Gee, what happened, Tommy?

- I cut myself on that sharp edge.

- Oh, it sure is bleeding.

- It doesn't hurt much.

- Boy, that sure is a keen map, Dennis.

Looks real as anything. - Watch it, Tommy.

You're getting blood on it.

Now we'll fold it up and put it in the captain's coat.

Now we're ready for business.

Pirate's mysterious sea chest.

One look, one cent.

Giant economy sized look, two cents.

- Boy Mom, the pirate business sure was good.

Tommy and I collected $0.20 today.

- Oh, that's wonderful, dear.

- We should have collected $0.21, but that stingy Billy Watson

took a giant economy sized look and only gave us a penny.

- That's too bad.

- No.

If we'd have collected $0.21, how would we divide it?

- Mr. Wilson, it's me, Buzz.

- Oh yes, Buzz.

Right in here.

- Mrs. Wilson said you had something to go.

- Indeed I do.

This old seaman's chest.

- Looks like a bunch of junk.

- Oh, there's some odds and ends here

that maybe somebody will have use for.

This is a good, heavy jacket.

- Did you check the pockets?

- Oh, there wouldn't be anything in these pockets.

Maybe some, oh, hardtack or barnacles or-- wait a minute.

What's this?

Heh.

Just an old map showing some buried treasure.

- Did you say buried treasure?

- Great Scott!

- Where is the buried treasure?

- Uh, who said anything about buried treasure?

You must be imagining things, Buzz.

Now look, I think you'd better go.

- Well, what about the old chest?

- No.

Don't touch a thing.

I changed my mind.

Now, I think you better be going now.

- But Mrs. Wilson said--

- Never mind what Mrs. Wilson said.

Great Scott!

Why, it's even been signed in blood.

Martha!

- There it is, right there, close to the mouth

of the Mississippi River.

- I see it, dear.

- Why, that's the territory where the famous pirate Jean

Lafitte operated.

Just think, Martha.

This could be Lafitte's blood.

He could have fought a duel over this map, killed for it.

- George, must you be so gruesome?

- It's true, my dear.

When men are on the trail of buried treasure,

they stop at nothing.

They turn to beasts.

- Oh stop it, George.

You look like Boris Karloff.

- Oh, I do?

Well, I'm sorry, Martha.

I didn't mean to frighten you.

- George, don't you think you ought

to take this map somewhere and have

it checked up to see if it's authentic?

- You mean show this map to someone else?

I should-- not on your life.

Heh.

Martha, we are going to Marsh Island.

It'll be a nice trip. I know.

We'll make it a sort of second honeymoon.

Martha, wouldn't it be fun to dig

for buried treasure on our second honeymoon?

- On our first honeymoon, you said

I was the only treasure you'd ever want.

- Well, that was before I found this map.

Uh-- oh, I mean-- oh, I'm so excited,

I don't know what I mean.

- Better get you your nerve medicine.

- Oh, never mind.

This map is all the nerve medicine I need.

Well, it wouldn't be an expensive trip.

It's not like going to the ends of the earth.

For a few hundred dollars, we can drive down there and--

- Would we go alone?

- Well, of course.

You don't think I'm going to let anyone else in on this, do you?

No, no.

We're not sharing this treasure with anybody.

- But I've heard that part of Louisiana

is full of swamps and poisonous snakes and alligators.

- Oh.

Well, maybe we should share this with some of our friends.

- Henry, $100 is a lot of money.

- Oh, now Alice, why, that's chicken feed in comparison

with what we might find.

- Well, Mr. Wilson, even if there was such a treasure,

how can you be sure it's still there?

- Alice, you sound just like Martha.

Well, if somebody had discovered the treasure,

would the map still be around?

- That makes sense.

- Oh, believe me.

I'm not letting just anybody in on this deal.

Only my closest friends.

Now, I figure with, say, five of us,

it would only cost us $100 a piece.

- That much?

- Oh, come Maurice, come.

What's $100 nowadays?

- OK, Mr. Wilson.

I think I can raise $100.

- Oh.

Now you're talking.

- Let's see now.

New picture tube, $55, transformer, $10, and labor

charge $35.

There's my 100.

- A $100 repair bill.

Are you out of your mind?

- Come on now, Mr. Wilson.

Like you said, what's $100 nowadays?

- Oh, for Pete's sake.

- All right, folks.

Step a little closer for a look at the famous old pirate's

chest.

Who can tell what fabulous treasures this chest contains?

Perhaps pearls of the orient and Spanish balloons.

- Balloons?

- Yeah, balloons.

- Do you, by any chance, mean doubloons?

- For one cent, you can find out, Margaret.

That's all it takes, folks.

Just one cent to see what's inside this fabulous sea chest.

- Well--

- It's right in here, Mr. Timberlake.

Oh Dennis, what are you doing here?

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

Hi, Mr. Timberlake.

We're having a showing of your pirate's chest.

- Well Dennis, I'm sorry to interrupt your play,

but Mr. Timberlake and I have some confidential business

to discuss.

So run along, all of you.

- Mr. Wilson, you're costing us money.

The kids are gonna pay us a penny to see what's inside.

- Maybe two cents.

- Oh.

Well, here.

Here's a quarter.

Business is over for the day.

Now shoo, scram, everybody.

- Oh boy.

Thanks, Mr. Wilson.

Come on, guys.

We'll let you look at the pirate's chest tomorrow.

- Well, there it is.

Oh, little do they know the treasure I found in here, right

in the pocket of this uniform.

- My, oh my, oh my-- you're quite sure the map's authentic?

- Oh, it has to be.

Why, the paper is centuries old, and it's

signed in blood, and everything.

- I can hardly wait to see it.

- Of course, I'm not showing the map

to anyone who doesn't join our expedition to Marsh Island.

- Oh George, I've always wanted to study the bird

life in the Louisiana swamps.

- Mr. Timberlake, you're just the man I'm looking for.

- Well, I understand there's some very rare specimens

in that region.

For instance, that night warbler, the nocturnal,

swallow tail snap diver.

- This expedition was just made to order for you.

Why, you can dig for treasure by day

and look for the snap diver at night.

- Oh.

I'm getting goose pimples all over.

Count me in, George. Count me in.

- Good!

Yoo-hoo, Martha?

I got them.

- Oh, what are you going to do with all that?

- Oh, well Martha, this is just a fraction

of the stuff we're going to need.

An expedition like this requires careful preparation.

I just thought maybe you'd like to see the entire effect.

- George, I have a feeling something's

going to happen on this trip.

- Well, of course something's going to happen, my dear.

We're going to find the buried treasure.

Are you sure you won't come with us?

- No, dear.

I'd be out of place.

Besides, I haven't a thing to wear.

- Oh, fiddle faddle.

- Yoo-hoo.

Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

- Hello, Henry.

- Oh good, Mitchell, you brought it, the Geiger counter.

- And it works swell.

- Martha, this will help solve any difficulty

we may have in locating the hidden treasure.

- It seems to get louder up here by the cupboard.

- Well, of course it does.

That's where Martha keeps her change-- in the sugar bowl.

You see, my dear, if there's any treasure around,

this thing'll find it.

- Henry, have you decided to go in on this after all?

- No, I'm not going on the expedition.

I'm just risking a few dollars of Mr. Wilson's say so.

But don't tell Alice.

- Oh, women have no real spirit of adventure.

- We're just more practical.

- Well, the way I look at it is, if we each put in a little,

none of us can get hurt.

Incidentally, Mr. Wilson, when would you like my check?

- Well, the other investors are bringing theirs

here tomorrow afternoon.

Why don't you come too?

Then I'll show the treasure map, and we

can make our final preparations.

- Oh, George.

- Oh, now Martha, don't start worrying.

- I can't help it, dear.

What will happen if you wake up in the middle of the night

and find an alligator in your tent?

- Well, if an alligator wants to join our party,

he'll just have to hand over a check like everybody else.

Right, Mitchell?

Well, now that the members of our little syndicate

are all here, the first order of business is feeding the kitty.

And I, as the head of the expedition,

will be the first to make my contribution of $100.

- Here's mine.

- Eh-- oh, Mr. Watterson?

Gentlemen, it should be reassuring to know

that the president of our local bank is one of us.

- George, I hope I'm not making a mistake.

- A mistake?

- Well, after all, it's quite a big gamble.

- Oh, Mr. Watterson, I feel so sure of the success

of this venture, if anything goes wrong,

I'll pay you back double.

In fact, I'll pay you all back double.

- Well, well, 100% of my money, win, lose, or draw.

That's a better deal than I can get at my own bank.

Count me in.

But I want you to know that I'm doing this as an individual

and not as a representative of the bank.

- And I'm doing this as an individual

and not as a representative of my wife.

- Uh, how about him?

- Oh, I'm already accounted for.

Right, Mr. Wilson?

- Yes.

He's already accounted for.

Now, gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for.

Will you gather around me, please?

The unveiling of the treasure map.

Oh.

First, I want to show you a picture of the little ship

we've chartered for our venture.

Isn't she a beauty?

- Oh.

- Yes.

- And now, the moment of truth, the treasure map.

Now, we plan to land on the west end of the island, about here.

Then we walk 100 steps to a cherry tree.

- A cherry tree in the middle of a swamp?

- Yes, that's ridiculous.

Isn't it?

- On the contrary, it's very clever.

I believe whoever buried the treasure deliberately

planted a cherry tree as a marker.

- Just like that rascal Jean Lafitte--

a shrewd, shrewd old buccaneer.

- Precisely.

And now from the cherry tree right here,

it should be a simple matter to locate Dead Man's Rock.

And then from there, it's obviously only two miles to--

- Hey, Mr. Wilson.

Excuse me for interrupting, Mr. Wilson, but--

- Dennis, what do you want?

- Son, can't you see we're having a meeting?

- Yeah.

But Dad, the kids are waiting outside

to see the pirate chest.

- Oh, Dennis.

- Hey, I've been looking all over for that.

That's my map.

- Oh Dennis, will you please leave?

- What do you mean that's your map?

- Well, Tommy and I drew it to make

the chest more interesting.

You know, to fool the kids a little.

- You-- you mean-- oh, good grief.

- I might have known there was something fishy about this.

Wilson, you can send my $100 profit to me at the bank.

- Of all things, George, you are so incredibly gullible.

You can send my $100 profit to the Lookout Mountain Bird

Sanctuary.

- I already made my profit on you, Mr. Wilson.

But I'm taking back my picture tube.

- No.

No. No!

Well, this is a terrible shock.

- Well, while you're getting over your shock,

can I take the old captain's coat and show it to the kids?

- Oh, take it, Dennis.

Take everything.

I never want to see it again.

- Thanks, Mr. Wilson.

Wow.

Look at all the money.

- Oh look, Mr. Wilson.

You found a treasure after all.

- Why, for heaven's sakes, where did this come from?

- It fell out of this old coat.

Why, there's lots more money in here too.

- Why, look at this.

Old-fashioned currency.

Why, there's enough here to pay off everybody I owe

and-- and more besides.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Martha.

- Is everything straightened out, George?

- Oh, my dear, it was manna from heaven.

I paid off everybody and had enough left over

to cover the cost for that silly old sea chest.

- Oh, that's wonderful.

[doorbell]

- Oh, now who could that be?

Why, Sergeant Mooney.

- Good morning, George.

- Well, what are you doing here, looking for a handout?

- Oh, I got my hand out all right,

but only to catch you for passing stolen money.

- Stolen money?

- What are you talking about, Mooney?

- Well, it just so happens that the money you've been passing

is part of an old cache that's been missing for 30 years.

Watterson checked the serial numbers.

- Oh, good heavens.

- Oh, George.

- George, I'm surprised at you.

You might have got away with it, giving it

to Timberlake and the TV repairman.

But you should never try to pass on stolen money to a banker.

Come on, let's go.

- But I didn't know it was-- go?

Go where?

- The FBI would like to have a long talk with you, George.

- The FBI?

Martha?

- Hey Sergeant Mooney, where are you taking Mr. Wilson?

- Who knows, Dennis?

Might be a small island called Alcatraz.

- Alcatraz?

- An island?

Hey Mr. Wilson, if you're going to look

for more buried treasure, why don't you

go back down to the auction?

I just went past there, and they've

got three more sea chests.

- Oh, that's all I need!

Oh, good grief. Martha!

[theme music]

NARRATOR: This has been a Screen Gems film production,

from the Hollywood studios of Columbia Pictures.

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