All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S03E25.Dennis.Documentary.Film.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

- Hey Mom?

Do you know where
my rubber boots are?

- Yes, dear.

They're in the hall closet.

What are you all dressed
up like that for?

Is it raining outside?

- Oh no.

Me and Toddy are playing
like we're on a ship at sea.

I'm the captain and
Toddy's the first mate.

And we're caught in a big storm!

- I see.

It's just a make believe storm.

- Oh no, it's a real storm.

One of the pipes
busted in the basement

and there's water squirting
all over the place!

- Pipes!

Dennis!

Henry, call the plumber!

[theme music]

- Oh, confound it!

Why does he have to
keep harping at me?

- Who, dear?
- Oh, Sergeant Mooney.

Listen to this.
"Dear Mr. Wilson,

you still haven't paid
the $5 for that jaywalking

citation you got last week.

If this isn't paid promptly,
an additional penalty

of $5 for each day of
delay can be assessed."

Now I resent these
Gestapo tactics!

- Well, you did
jaywalk, didn't you?

- Well, of course I owe them
money and they'll get it.

But I just don't
appreciate being

treated as though I were
a menace to society.

- Smile, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh Dennis, stop that.

I'm in no mood for smiling.

- Don't be cross, George.

Let him take your picture.

- You don't have to smile if
you don't want to, Mr. Wilson.

I only wanted to--

- Oh, all right.

I'll smile.

If you must take my picture,
I want to look natural.

Be sure and get this
side of my face.

It's my best side.

- OK, Mr. Wilson.

- If it turns out well,
I'll take an extra print.

- I don't think it'll turn
out at all, Mr. Wilson.

- Hmm?

- You see, there's no
film in the camera.

- No film?

What's the idea?

- Well, I'm only practicing
for my school project.

It's Dad's camera and he
doesn't want me to waste film.

- Oh.

- What is this school
project of yours, dear?

- It's for our history class.

Miss Perkins wants
us to take pictures

of all the famous stuff
around town-- like the Charter

Oak and the City Hall-- and then
write a composition about them.

- Well, that sounds
very interesting.

- But a picture of
me would be nothing!

- I have an idea.

Wouldn't this be a
fine chance to use

that new movie camera of yours?

- For a school project?

- Real movies?

Jeepers, that would be keen!

- I'm sure Dennis' teacher
would be impressed.

And you'd do a wonderful job.

- Well, the town does have many
historical points of interest.

A record of them would
be quite worthwhile.

- And if I took
her some movies, I

bet Miss Perkins
would give me an A!

- Well, it could be a first
class documentary film.

[laughs] Oh, would your teacher
object to my assistance?

- Oh no!

She said our folks
could help us.

And you're practically my folks.

- Well by golly, I'll do it!

- Oh boy!

That would be swell!

When can we start?

- Oh, the sooner the better.

You know Dennis,
this project of yours

may be uh, quite valuable.

Why, it'll be the first
time the story of our town

has been put on film.

- And if Miss Perkins
gives me an A,

you know that would
be another first time.

Well, see you later!

- [laughing]

- Boy, this certainly is a
nice camera, Mr. Wilson.

- [laughs] It is a beauty.

Well Mitchell, what do
you think of our plan?

- Well, it sounds great to me.

It's certainly a
break for Dennis.

- It's very kind of you
to do this for him.

- Oh.

- Have you used your new
camera much, Mr. Wilson?

- Well no. [clears throat]
Actually this'll

be the first time.

But I know exactly what to do.

I've read the instructions
very carefully.

- Will you and Dad
come with us, Mom?

- Oh honey, we'd
just be in the way.

- Yeah, we don't want to butt in.

- Oh nonsense, Mitchell.

Besides it'll be a perfect
way to spend our Saturday.

And we're going to need
some people for the scenes,

so all of you can be our cast.

Well, it's all settled then.

Now you girls go get fixed up.

And uh, we'll be ready,
as they say in Hollywood,

for lights, camera, action!

- [laughs] I'll go put on a tie.

- Now Martha, have you
recorded all the shots

I've taken so far, dear?

- Yes, George.

Scene one, general
view of the park.

Scene two, all of us
strolling through it.

Scene three, close
up of Alice and me.

Scene four, the Charter Oak.

- Oh, that's fine.

Now uh Dennis,
we're going to write

some descriptive narrative to
go with each of these pictures,

but I want to be sure that
everything is in proper order.

- Boy, you think of everything!

- I, well, I try to!

Now let's move along
to the City Hall.

- Look Mr. Wilson!

- Hmm?

- Let's get a picture of
that little squirrel.

[squirrel chatters]
- Oh, that's a good idea, Dennis.

Animal studies always lend
interest to a picture.

[squirrel chatters]

- Get him quick!

He's going up the tree!

- Yeah, I see him.

I see him, Dennis.

I've, I think I've,
oh, I've got him!

[squirrel chatters]

[splash]

- Oh!

- Mr. Wilson!

[interposing voices]

- Come up here!

Oh, are you OK?

- Sure taking some good pictures
for my project, Mr. Wilson.

- We'd have even
had more, Dennis,

if I hadn't had to waste
time changing my clothes.

Of all the stupid--
oh Martha, dear,

what's our record up to now?

- Well, the latest ones are
City Hall, the public library,

that fine picture of Mr.
Watterson in front of his bank,

and the stockyards.

- Oh good, good.

- Well, here's the mayor's
house, Mr. Wilson.

What kind of a shot do
you want to get of it?

- Well, I think I'll get a
nice shot of the group of you

right in front of the gate here.

Dennis, you stand there.

Come on over, folks.

That's it, together.

Then I'll get a closer
shot of the house later.

All right now, nice big smiles.

That's fine.

- Well, well, Mr.
and Mrs. Mitchell!

Mrs. Wilson!

Dennis.
- Hi, Your Honor.

- Oh, Your Honor.
- Why, Mr. Wilson!

- My goodness, Your Honor.

- [laughs] When I saw
the camera, Mr. Wilson,

my curiosity got
the better of me.

What are you doing?

- Oh, we're compiling a filmed
record of the town's points

of interest for Dennis'
history class, Your Honor.

- It's going to be
a documentary film.

- Now that you're
here, Your Honor,

could we get a shot of you?

- Why, I'd, I'd be delighted.

- Oh fine!

Uh, would you make
some brief remark

concerning your
policies, Mr. Mayor?

I'd like to get a close
up of you in action.

- Why, just the thing!

- That's it.

All right, now.

You can go right ahead.

- My friends and
fellow citizens, I

promise never to
falter in my efforts

to bring clean and honest
government to this city.

- Oh, thank you, Your Honor.

- Not at all.

I'm the one who should
thank the good people who

elected me to this office.

- Well, we thought you
were the right man

for the job, Your Honor.

- You may rest
assured, Mr. Mitchell.

I strive hard to be worthy.

I keep my nose to
the grindstone,

my shoulder to the wheel, and
my finger on the public pulse.

- Hey, could we get a
picture of him doing that?

I'd like to see that!

- [laughing]

- Well, we got a good
shot of the city jail.

Now let's move along
to the old adobe house.

- Well, George Wilson!

Hey uh, did you get that
love note I sent you?

- Love note?

- Yeah.

- Oh, you mean about that
jaywalking citation.

- Now you're thinking.

- Well Mooney, I meant
to call you about that,

but [laughs] I got involved
in this movie project

and forgot all about it.

- Movie project?

- It's for my history class.

- He's taking pictures of
all the important landmarks

and prominent citizens.

- Prominent citizens, eh?

Well uh, make sure you
don't uh, overlook any.

- Oh, I don't intend to.

Now about that citation, Mooney.

I don't think it's fair to
assess me for delayed payments.

- Well, I just might be
able to speak to the court

and uh, get you out
of it all together.

- Oh!

Well now, I certainly
would appreciate that.

- That is if uh,
everything goes right

for a certain prominent citizen.

- Oh?
Who's that?

- You know what, Mr. Wilson?

I think Sergeant Mooney
wants to be in our movie too.

- You know Dennis, you're
smarter than he is.

- Oh, for heaven's sakes.

How stupid of me.

Of course you should be in
the movie, Mooney. [laughs]

Why, no one deserves it more
than our stalwart uh, defender

of the law.

- Well, it's your
project, Dennis.

Uh, is it OK with you?

- Sure, Sergeant Mooney.

I like you!

- Oh thanks, son.

- When we play cops and
robbers, I get real mad 'cause

I always want to be you.

And Eddie Nolan
always gets to be you.

- Oh?

Why does Eddie get the break?

- Well, he's got the biggest
feet of any of us kids.

- Uh, uh, I'll take
your picture right here

in front of the police
station, Mooney.

- Oh!

Oh George, uh, you want
me to run over to the jail

and get a prisoner I captured?

He's just a hobo I picked up
over at the railroad yards

and I picked him
up single handed.

- Oh no, that won't
be necessary, Mooney.

Now just pose here with
Dennis and the others.

Dennis, you stand right there.

You folks get up on
the steps behind him.

And I'll step out here to the
curb and start the camera.

- Oh!
- Oh!

- Ooh, my purse!

- Oh, I'll get it, Mrs. Mitchell.

- Thank you, Sergeant.

- Ah, Martha, put that down.

Sergeant Mooney
outside police station.

- Hell, George, it was
nice of you to include me.

I'll do the best I can about
helping out on that fine.

- Oh, well that's good news.

- 'Course, that doesn't mean
I approve of jaywalking.

That's a pretty serious offense.

- Oh, I understand.

All right folks, the next shot
will be the old adobe house.

We'll go down to the
corner and cross over.

- Oh no, George.

Cross right here, it's closer.

I'll stop the traffic.

[blows whistle]

- Shall we jaywalk, dear?

- Love to.

[brakes squealing]

[blows whistle]

- All right, now.

I'm going to shoot this
scene with all of you

in it to give it human interest.

Now Dennis, I want
you right over here.

And you're pointing to
the sign as if you're

showing it to them, you see?

- OK.

I'll even read it out loud.

Old Harper House, built 1863.

- Good boy.

- Boy, I bet that's
older than anybody.

When were you built, Mr. Wilson?

- Uh.

- Dennis, people are born.

You don't see they're built.

- Dad does.

He was looking at a
picture in the paper

and I heard him say, "This
Miss America sure is--"

- Uh, uh Dennis, that's enough!

Uh, Mr. Wilson, where
did you want us?

Uh--

- Oh, I want the
three of you to come

from that doorway over there.

And stay close together, please.

Dennis'll stay
right where you are.

All right.

Now come on, action.

All right, ready?

Go!

[camera whirring]

- Old Harper House.

Built 1863.

- Oh no, no, no, no, no.

Let's get a little
excitement into this.

Now Dennis, this is
the oldest building

in town, a famous landmark.

Now come on, look excited!

- Dennis, pay attention
to Mr. Wilson.

- What are you looking at?

- That truck.

The movie camera's on it.
[engine roaring]

- Great Scott!

Wait! [shouts]

- Boy, Mr. Wilson sure knows how
to look excited, doesn't he?

- Hey! [shouts]

- Hey!

- Wait!

- Hi, Miss Perkins!

- Hi.

- We're chasing my
history assignment.

- Your history assignment?

- Yeah.

I gotta help catch it
so you'll give me an A.

- Oh!

Thank goodness!

- Lucky thing he hit that
stop sign or we never

would have caught up with him.

- Whoa, you got it!

Is Miss Perkins gonna be glad!

- [laughs]

- [sighs] Oh!

- Now I understand
what Dennis meant

about catching his
history assignment.

- Yes, they've been
working on it all day.

- Well, I'm very proud of Dennis.

And of your husband too.

- Oh, that was a close one.

- Well, we made it.

You see, Miss
Perkins, Mr. Wilson--

- I know.

Your wives have told me about
Dennis' documentary film,

and I have a splendid idea.

At our regular
PTA meeting Monday

night at school
we'd love to have

you come and show
your movie for us.

- My!

Well, that's quite an
honor. [laughs] Dennis

and I accept with
pleasure, don't we Dennis?

- Jeepers, that'd be keen!

- Well Mr. Wilson,
are you sure they'll

be developed and
ready by Monday night?

You know they don't
work on Sunday.

- Now don't you worry, Mitchell.

I'll get it done if I
have to pay double for it.

- Good.

We'll look forward to it.

- Isn't she swell?

Hey, why don't we have
her in our movie too?

- Me?

Oh, I don't take a
very good picture.

I uh--
- Aw, sure you do, Miss Perkins.

- I'm sure you must have
more important things you

want to put on
your film than me.

- Well, I did want
to get some other--

- Uh, where shall I stand?

How's this pose?

- Um--

- Is it all right?

My hair all right?

- Fine.

- You look great, Miss Perkins.

You look like
you're just getting

ready to mark me
down a big fat A.

- There, now don't
look in the lens.

That's fine.

- Say, here's a front page
story in the Sunday paper.

- Oh?

Oh yes.

"The PTA has invited
local dignitaries

to attend tomorrow
night's showing."

Oh my, this is very gratifying.

- I should say.

- Our film will be ready,
won't it Mr. Wilson?

You know I sure do want
to get an A on my report.

- Don't you worry, Dennis.

Mr. Clark down at
the camera shop

promised to deliver it
tomorrow night at the meeting.

Now let's run over some of
these captions we wrote.

- You mean this is the
stuff I'm going to read?

- That's right.

Here's the opening one.

- "Our Fair City.

A motion picture presentation
by Dennis Mitchell

and George Wilson."

- Well, credits and everything!

- I wanted to be professional.

- Professional!

Oh boy, I can hardly
wait till tomorrow night!

You know, I'll be as
famous as Yogi Bear I bet!

- [laughing]

- And now, as soon as I finish
reading this final report,

the business portion of
our meeting will be over.

Then we are going to see
the world premiere of--

- Confound that Clark!

Where is he with that film?

I posted Dennis outside
to show him where to come.

- Don't worry.

He'll show up.

- Well, he promised to have it
here and show it for me at nine

o'clock sharp and
it's nearly nine now.

- Relax, George.

I got a squad car standing
by the camera store,

ready to rush him down here.

- Good, good.

Thanks a lot, Mooney.

- After all, uh, I got a
leading role, you might say.

I wouldn't want anything
to happen to that film.

- Yes, of course.

- Attendance at our
last meeting was

27, a decrease from
the previous month.

- Oh dear.

The mayor's in there and half
the town's leading citizens.

If anything going wrong--

- It'll be fine, George.

It'll be fine.

I don't mean that
jaywalking fine either.

- Oh, for pete's sake, Mooney.

I was counting on you
to get me out of that.

Now if you're going to
keep harping on that,

I'll just pay it and
get it over with.

- Forget it, George.

Forget it.

We in the show biz
gotta stick together.

Just forget it.

- Well, all right.

Let's not hear any
more about it then.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
Hey Mr. Wilson!

It's here, Mr. Wilson!

The film's here!

- What'd I tell you, George?

- Thank heaven, Mr. Clark.

We're almost ready for
the screening in there.

- I'll run the projector.

Now you just go sit down in
there and take your bows.

- Oh [laughs].

- Come on, Mr. Wilson.

You can sit with me, right
at the teacher's desk.

- No Dennis.

I'll sit in the audience.

This project is all
yours from now on.

- And now, the young man
whose project this is,

Master Dennis Mitchell,
will read the commentary.

[applause]

- Lights, please?

- All set, Dennis?

- OK, let her go.

"Our Fair City.

A movie by Dennis Mitchell
and George Wilson."

This is our park,
where our people

go to rest and stroll
quietly among the trees.

[laughter]

- New camera.

I had a little trouble
with the speed.

- Our town is noted
for its lovely women.

- Oh there, that's better.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): And here we
see two typical pretty faces.

[laughter]

- I hope your camera
work was better

when you got to
my house, Wilson.

- Oh, I'm sure it was, yes.

- In the center of the
park is the Charter Oak.

Under its branches, our
city charter was signed.

- That's a nice shot, Mr. Wilson.

- Thank you, Mitchell.

- Near the Charter Oak, we
see the prominent citizen

who is responsible for
making this picture.

Mr. George Wilson.

[laughter]

- I never saw a better likeness!

- Good grief!

That shot should've come later.

- Our town has many
fine public buildings.

Here's the City Hall
and the public library.

Our city has many
prominent people.

One of them is Mr.
John Watterson,

president of the bank.

He is a solid citizen with
his feel planted firmly

on the ground.

- Great Scott!

I must have had the
camera upside down.

- Is that your idea
of a joke, Wilson?

- No, it was a mistake.

I, I don't know how it happened.

- [laughs] Don't be
a sore head, John.

You look better
upside down anyhow.

- Just a minute, Mr. Clark.

Our city has many
fine factories,

such as the one you see here.

- What was that?

- I don't know, honey.

Something's all mixed up.

- Dennis, you read
the wrong card.

- That's what it
says, Mr. Wilson.

It says--

- Never mind what it says.

Read the next one.

- Oh, leave him alone!

- He's all right.

- Leave him alone!

- These industries were
brought to our town

through the brilliant efforts
of our energetic chamber

of commerce.

And here are the
members of the chamber

of commerce at their
weekly luncheon.

[laughter]

- Oh no!

That's the stockyard!

- Those are the fellows that
voted against me. [laughs]

- Dennis, that's enough.

The whole thing's ruined.

- No it isn't, Mr. Wilson.

Everybody thinks
it's real funny.

- It's not supposed to be!

- Oh, relax Wilson.

This is a masterpiece! [laughs]

- Our city has many landmarks.

One of them is Windy Cave,
famous throughout the state

for the constant flow
of wind and hot air that

comes out of it night and day.

[laughter]

- Hot air!

How dare you?

Now Wilson, you did
that deliberately!

- Don't be a sore
head, Mayor. [laughs]

- Our city is very proud
of its leading citizen,

Mayor Billings.

- Well, now that's better.

- And here's the
mayor's home, a home

that no one deserves
more than he does.

We hope he will spend
the rest of his life

right here where he belongs.

- Well, of all the
rude, insulting things!

- Aw Mayor!

What's the matter?

Can't you take a joke? [laughs]

- Next, we see one of
our finest officers

of the law, Sergeant
Harold Mooney,

and some fans outside
the police station.

- Now comes the good part.

- You can see why criminals
stay away from our town

when you look at Sergeant
Mooney's strong, honest face.

[laughter]

- All right, Wilson, what kind
of smart aleck picture is that?

- What's the matter, Mooney?

Can't you take a joke? [laughs]

- Sergeant Mooney is
always so pompous.

I'm enjoying this.

- I don't think poor George is.

- Life in our town has
its amusing side too.

Here we see one of
the skinny old cats

that hang around the city dump.

- Stop that thing!

Turn it off this instant!

Mr. Wilson, I have
been 15 years--

[arguing]

- But to be referred
to as an old cat!

- I can understand why you're
so upset, Miss Perkins.

But you must know that Dennis
didn't do it on purpose.

- Right.

You're my favorite teacher!

- I'm the only teacher
you have, Dennis.

- If I had more, you'd still be.

- My husband didn't
mean to insult you.

It was just a mix up.

- Sometimes Mr. Wilson's
camera went goofy.

And I got the cards mixed up.

- Well, it was an accident.

And you did have good
intentions, Dennis.

- I sure did.

- I wouldn't want anyone to think
I don't have a sense of humor,

so all is forgiven.

- That's very kind of you.

- But I warn you, Dennis.

There'll be trouble
if you ever bring

me catnip instead of an apple.

[laughter]

- And so you can
see the whole thing

was just an unfortunate error.

- He really wrote some very nice
things about you gentlemen.

- Uh well, yes.

Uh, you know, between
things going wrong

with the camera and Dennis
getting the cards all mixed up,

uh well, you do understand,
don't you Mr. Watterson?

- No, I don't!

MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):
But Mr. Watterson--I oh.

Uh, you're not angry at
me, are you, Your Honor?

- Well, I'm certainly
not pleased!

MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):
But Your Honor,

I-- oh, uh, you're not mad
at me, are you, Mooney?

- Of course not, George.

I'm not mad.

- Well, thank goodness.

- However, there's
that little matter

of the jaywalking ticket.

- What?

- At $5 a day for 12 days,
that makes the penalty $60.

And if you don't have the money
there by tomorrow morning,

I'm gonna lock you up!

MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):
But Mooney!

Now you said--

- I don't care what I said!

- Hey Mr. Wilson!

I've got some good new for you!

Miss Perkins is gonna
give me that A after all!

Aren't you happy?

- Happy?

[laughs, then cries]
Oh, [inaudible].

[theme music]

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): This
has been a Screen Gems film

production from the Hollywood
studios of Columbia Pictures.