All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S03E24.A.Dogs.Life.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

- Get away!

Scat!
Shoo!

Go on!

- Why, Dennis, what is it?

- I was coming over to
see you Mr. Wilson when

a big bee started chasing me.

- Oh, all that fuss over a bee.

Why Dennis I'm ashamed of you.

- But a bee will sting you.

- Well, if you disturb
it or frighten it,

and even if it does
sting you, so what?

A little bee sting isn't so bad.

- It isn't?

- Of course not.

Gee, I'm sure glad to
hear that, Mr. Wilson,

especially because--

- Especially because what?

- Because the bee
is on your collar.

- Oh!

Ohh, no.

Well, get it off.

Oh, help, Martha!
Martha!

[theme music]

- Will there be anything
else Mrs. Elkins?

- At these prices?

I should say not.

Last week the dill pickles were
only $0.39 a jar, Mr. Quigley,

- Well, that was last
week Mrs. Elkins.

We have a very special
this week, though.

- Oh, baloney.

- Well, baloney has to
go on special sometime.

[loud crash]

- What was that?

- Boswell naughty dog.

He keeps knocking
over the stock.

Now, out!

Out, get out!

- Of all things.

I hope you realize there's a
city ordinance against dogs

in markets, Mr. Quigley.

- You know, I'm
sorry Mrs. Elkins.

I haven't been able
to get rid of him

since I fed some
bologna the other day.

Bologna!

That's our special today,
and Boswell loves bologna.

- Good day, Mr. Quigley.

- Eh, but Mrs. Elkins, wait!

Your groceries.

- I've changed my mind.

I don't care to shop in a
store where they allow dogs.

- But-- Now see what you've done.

You're getting out of here.

I don't want you to
try to sneak back

in every time somebody
opens the door.

I'm losing valued customers.

I've got to find you a home.

Well, George, am
I glad to see you.

- Well, you're glad
to see anybody

who comes in here to
spend money, Quigley.

What are you doing?

Branching out into a pet shop?

- Oh, nothing like that.

Isn't he a fine dog, though?

- Looks like a
raccoon coat to me.

- George, how'd you
like to take him home?

Compliments of Quigley's Market.

- No sale, Quigley, no sale.

All I want from this
market are these eggs

and these cans of corn.

Martha's going to
make a corn souffle.

Oh, go away!

- Oh, he's just trying
to be sociable, George.

Fee him some of that
bologna over there,

and let him know
you're his friend.

- Bologna?
- Yeah.

- My goodness.

No, I haven't time, Quigley,
I've got to go next door

and pick up some
things for Martha.

Oh, will you put these things
that I bought into the car

for me, please?

- Yeah, George, are you sure
that you don't want that dog?

He's a fine hunting dog.

- What does he hunt
besides bologna?

- Oh.

You know, Boswell, I think
you'd like it at Mr. Wilson's.

Yeah, you could play with
his other dog, Fremont.

Now you wait here.

You stay.

That's a good boy.

Now you wait right there.

Stay, stay.

- I'm sure glad I bumped
into you, Mr. Wilson.

I want you to know
how much I appreciate

your driving me home.

- Oh, that's all
right, Dennis, I'd

have done the same for anybody.

- You would?

But what if we
weren't going home?

- Well, in that case, I--
oh, come on, Dennis, hop

in the car.

Here, take these.

- OK, Mr. Wilson.

- Come on, Boswell.

See the nice bologna?

Get it, boy.

- Hey, Mr. Wilson?

There's a dog following us.

- A dog?

- Yeah, a big shaggy one.

- Oh, good grief, that must
be the one with raccoon coat.

Well, I'll have to lose him.

How am I doing?

- He's still following us.

I think he's gained a little.

- Well, hang on, Dennis.

- Still coming again.

I don't see the dog
any place, Mr. Wilson.

I guess he gave up.

- Oh, good, well, I drove faster
than I normally would, Dennis,

but this was an emergency.

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson, I know
you wouldn't deliberately

break any traffic laws.

- No, no.

- What's your hurry, Mac?

- Are you speaking
to me, officer?

- You're not going to say the
kid was driving, are you?

I was driving, of course, but--

- May I see your license, please?

- Oh, Dennis, hold these please.

- OK, Mr. Wilson.

- Now, I can explain this,
your honor, uh, officer.

- I probably heard it
before, but be my guest.

- Well, you haven't
heard this one.

You see, I was
trying to get away

from a big, shaggy dog
that was following me.

- A shaggy dog story, huh?

- It's true, isn't it, Dennis?

- That's right, Mr, Officer.

A big dog wearing
a raccoon coat.

- Isn't that what you
said, Mr. Wilson?

- Yes, I said it looked
like a raccoon coat.

- Now, fellas, let's
not gild the lily.

- Oh, you don't believe me?

- No.
- I saw him.

He chased us all
the way from town.

- And gave up the chase, when
you turned in the driveway, huh?

- He must have.

- Of course, we can't prove it.

He's gone now.

- Yeah.

The evidence skipped.

Sorry, mister.

- Drats!

- Uh, let me give
you a little tip.

When you see the
judge, don't give them

that business about a dog
wearing a raccoon coat.

He may send you to
a head shrinker.

- Mr. Wilson, what's
a head shrinker?

- Oh, that's a slang
term for a psychiatrist.

- What's a psychiatrist?

- It's what I'll need
if you don't go home.

- You don't want a psychiatrist?

- No.
- OK.

See you later, Mr. Wilson.

Thanks for the ride.

- Great Scott!

Come back here.

You can't go in there.

You'll frighten Fremont.

[barking]

- Fremont!
Fremont.

Why you-- you get
out of my chair.

That's forcible entry.

Get down.
Down!

Out!
Out of my house!

Martha!
Martha!

$4.30 to put an ad in
the paper for a lost dog?

Good grief.

I can hire a private
detective for that.

Oh well, it'll be worth it
to get rid of the beast.

- Well, George, what
are you doing here?

- Oh, hello, Krinkie.

A big stray dog has taken
up residence at my house,

and it occurred to me that
maybe one of your 30 or 40

subscribers might be the owner.

- Well, that's very
decent of you.

Most people wouldn't bother
spending money for an ad.

They'd just take the dog to the
animal shelter and forget it.

- The animal shelter.

- But it's like you, George,
to show consideration

for both the owner and the dog.

- Oh, well-- You know,

- I thought of running
a newspaper campaign

encouraging people to
give a home to a dog.

Now what do you
think of the idea?

- Oh, uh, well, I think
it's a fine idea.

- If we had enough
people like you, George,

we wouldn't have any
need for a dog pound.

- Oh, well, that's why I'm so
anxious to find the owner.

Why, I wouldn't dream of
taking somebody's poor lost dog

to the pound.

- Good for you!

I salute a true humanitarian.

You know, our dog pound is
a pretty miserable place.

Understaffed, under financed.

- Well, that's why
I believe in being

man's best friends best friend.

- Man's best friends best friend.

Say, do you mind if I use that?

- Oh, why, of course, not.

If it will help the
cause, feel free to use

my name or my picture.

- Fine, George.

I'll remember that.

- George, lunch is ready.

- Well, Martha,
here's my ad again

for the third day and
not a single call.

Oh, good grief, go on,
get out of my chair.

Whenever I want to
sit down, Martha,

I can't, because
he's sitting there.

- George, the milk was
delivered late today.

Will you bring it in, please?

- Good idea.

He'll follow me out.

Oh, yeah, I outfoxed
him that time, Martha.

That dog is out, and
he's going to stay out.

Yes, sir, anytime
a dog thinks he

can get the better
George Wilson,

he's got another think coming.

[ripping sound]

Martha, just look
at that screen.

I tell you this
dog has got to go.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

- Hello, Dennis.

Jeepers, Mr. Wilson, you
sure must love Boswell,

making a hole in
the screen, so he

could come and go as he pleases.

- Oh, yes, yes.

All right, now, Boswell,
I'm going to have my lunch.

Now go on, get down.

Go on, shoo!

Go on, get.

Get out of here.
For heaven's sakes.

- He'll be all frisky,
because I just

brought him over
some steak bones.

- Well, my goodness,
why didn't you

take him and feed
him at your house?

- Because he likes to eat
right at your back door

where he can watch for you.

- All right, take him out there
and let him watch for me.

- OK.

Come on, Boswell, you
can have lunch with me.

- Honestly, Martha, that
dog has got me so upset,

I've completely
lost my appetite.

You know, I should
never have put that ad

in the paper in the first place.
It's just a waste of money.

I should have taken that
dog right to the pound.

Krinkie or no Krinkie.

- Now, dear, please calm down.

- Oh, Boswell.

So I was sitting at home
enjoying Boswell's company,

when suddenly I said to
myself, George Wilson,

you're a selfish old coot.

Now you have two dogs.

Why not offer one of your
pets to the Mitchells

and bring joy to little Dennis.

Bless his heart.

- Oh, that's very kind
of you, Mr. Wilson,

but it's a little impractical
from our point of view.

- Oh, Alice, what's impractical
about owning a devoted dog

and believe me,
Boswell is devoted.

- I'm afraid it's my
fault, Mr. Wilson,

that Dennis doesn't have a dog.

- Mitchell, every boy should
own a dog, a friend, playmate,

protector.

If anybody would have to be
protected, it would be me.

You see I'm allergic
to dog hair.

- You are?

- It's just one of those things.

- Well, I know,
Mitchell, but it can't

be a very serious
allergy, can it?

I mean, you wouldn't let
a few sneezes interfere

with your son's
happiness, would you?

- I wish you wouldn't put
it that way, Mr. Wilson.

- Well, I'll even throw in a six
month supply of dog biscuits.

- That's very generous
of you, Mr. Wilson.

- Not at all.

Mitchell, how do you know
you still have your allergy?

People do outgrow
them, you know.

- Well, I suppose the least
we could do is give it a try.

- Mitchell, you're a
father after my own heart.

I'll bring the dog right over.

- You've got to be careful,
Boswell, and not shed any hair

or go spreading lergics around.

- You all right, dear?

- Fine.

Ah-choo!

- Bless you.

- Boy, it doesn't take much
to give you hair fever,

does it, Dad?

- Son, there's enough
hair on that dog

to start an Army sneezing.

Ah-choo!

- Bless you, Dad.

- Ditto.

- Do we have to bless
old Dad every time?

- Ah-choo.

- Dennis, why don't
you take Boswell

outside for a
little while, dear?

- OK, Mom.

But you know what he'll do?

He'll go right back to
good old Mr. Wilson.

- Ah-choo.

- Come on, Boswell.

- Ah-choo!

- There you are, Fremont.

That's it.

Oh, it's a lovely
evening, Martha.

- Yes, dear.

- Hmm, coffee always
tastes so good outside.

- It certainly does.

[barking]

- Oh, poor Fremont, he's
just a bundle of nerves.

I'd be the same
way, too, Martha,

if I hadn't gotten
rid of Boswell.

- George.

- Oh, for Pete's sake!

Oh, get away!

- I'm awful sorry, Mr. Wilson,
but it just doesn't work out.

Dad suffers from lergic
something miserable.

- Oh, well, that's
all right, Dennis.

I'm returning the
dog to Quigley,

which is what I should have
done in the first place.

He can afford to feed
him better than I can.

He has a store.

- Hey, there's Mr. Krinkie.

- Hello, Dennis.

- Hi, Mr. Krinkie.

- Hello, Krinkie.

- Hello, George,
do you still have

that lost dog on your hands?

Jeepers, good old Mr.
Wilson spends all his time

trying to find a
home for Boswell.

- Well, Mr. Krinkie knows
how I feel about dogs.

In fact, he may even
put a little piece

in the paper about it.

- Yes, Mr. Wilson has the
right spirit, Dennis.

He's given me an idea
for a great campaign.

What did you call
yourself, George?

- Oh, man's best
friends best friend.

- Oh yes, I must remember that.

Well, see you later.

- Yes, Krinkie.

- Man's best friends best friend.

Jeepers, Mr. Wilson,
that sounds swell.

- Yes, it does, doesn't it?

Oh, come on you big mutt.

- Call again, Mrs. Elkins.

Wilson, will you kindly get
your dog out of my store.

- My, Mr. Wilson,
don't you know--

- Well, he's not my dog.

- Mr. Wilson's been trying to
find a good home, Mrs. Elkins.

- Well, how can he give away
a dog that isn't even his?

Your story doesn't
hold water, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, I only brought
him in here--

- There's a city ordinance
against this sort of thing

and, fortunately, I know
just what to do about it.

Officer?

Here you are, officer.

- What's the trouble, ma'am?

- Oh, there's no trouble
at all, officer.

She doesn't know what
she's talking about.

- There's your answer.

Officer, [inaudible].

- Look here mister.

No dogs allowed in shops.

I'll have to give you a ticket.

- He's not my dog.

I'm just returning
him to Quigley here.

- Oh, it's not my dog.

Besides, possession is
nine points of the law.

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson, this
is second time this week

you've been arrested.

- Oh, stop it, Boswell.

- Hey, Mr. Wilson, what are
you doing with Boswell?

- Oh.

Well, I'm just making sure that
he stays put for the night.

Tomorrow he goes to
the animal shelter.

- What do they do with him?

- Well, they'll put him in
a cage where he belongs.

- I think that's mean.

- But Dennis, I have no choice.

He's made my life miserable.

He's made Fremont's
life miserable.

He's even made your
father miserable.

No sir, that dog has got to go.

- But what if somebody
still answers your ad?

- Oh, I canceled that.

Oh, it's just a waste of money.

- Well, I think it's mean anyhow.

I wouldn't like to
be put in a cage.

Would you?

- Well, Dennis, I'll be in
a cage with padded walls

and wearing a straitjacket if
I don't get rid of that dog.

- Don't you give
up hope, Boswell.

Maybe I can fix it so you
won't have to stay in a cage.

[loud crash]

- Well, Dennis, Sam
tells me you want

to put in an ad in
the Lost and Found.

- That's right, Mr. Krinkie.

I want to keep running
that ad of Mr. Wilson's.

I think I've got enough
money in my piggy bank.

- Well, that's a very
nice thought, my boy,

but you may be
wasting your savings.

After all, Mr. Wilson ran
that ad for a week and nothing

happened.

- So now, he's giving
up and talking Boswell

to the animal shelter.

- The animal shelter?

Are you sure?

- He's taking him this morning.

I thought if I kept the ad
going for a little while,

Boswell's owner might
see it and take him home.

- Dennis, let's you and I take a
run out to the animal shelter.

- What for?

- Maybe we get the
ammunition we need

to put over a campaign that'll
help find homes for all dogs.

- Oh boy!

Let's go!

Hi, little fella.

What's your name?

Rover?

Fido?

Fifi, maybe?

Boy, you're a nice fella.

- Well, hi, Dennis.

- Hi, Boswell.

- Well, what are
you doing out here?

Dennis, aren't we
friends anymore?

Aren't you even
going to speak to me?

- Well, George,
this is a surprise.

- Oh, hello, Krinkie.

Well, uh-- what's going on?

- Oh, we were just talking
to the superintendent.

I brought my photographer
with me to get some pictures.

We're starting that campaign to
find homes for all these dogs.

- Oh?

- What are you
doing here, George?

Did you come out to find a
continual pal for this fellow?

- Uh, yes.

That's it exactly, yes.

I brought Boswell out
here to look around.

- You mean, you aren't really
going to leave Boswell here?

- Oh, why, of course, not.

Why I wouldn't think of leaving
this dog at the pound, Dennis.

I brought Boswell along to help
him pick out his own playmate.

He and Fremont don't
get along, you know.

- Oh, boy!

How about this one, Mr. Wilson?

You know, he's just
about Boswell's size.

- Oh, well, Dennis,
he'll do I suppose.

- Will you get that
one out, please?

- Hey, Mr. Krinkie,
how about getting

a picture of Mr. Wilson
with his two dogs?

- Good idea.

After all, I did promise
you some publicity, George.

- Oh, yes, you did.

- Stand over here.

- Now Boswell, sit down.

- Put him right over here.

That's the way.

Here, George, take this.

- Hey, Mr. Wilson,
while you're here,

why don't you get a
playmate for Fremont, too?

- Oh, well, Dennis--
- Good idea, Dennis.

That'll mean still another
dog will have a good home.

How about this one?

He even looks like Fremont.

- Oh, good grief.

- What's the matter, Mr. Wilson?

Don't you want Fremont
to have a playmate?

- Of course, he does.

Will you get him out, please?

Get ready, Joe.

Mr. Wilson's a
true humanitarian.

He's going to
spearhead our campaign.

Right, George?

- Well, how can I deny it?

What's that you call
yourself, Mr. Wilson?

- Uh, man's best
friends best friend.

- Get your picture, Joe.

Let's take another
one to be sure.

- Boy, looks like man's best
friends best friend sure

has a lot of friends.

[theme music]