All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S03E23.Mr.Wilsons.Housekeeper.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

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Original subtitles

- Hi, Dad!

- Hi, son!

- Let me help you with that.

- Why all the extra service?

- Well, see there's something I want to tell you about.

- Oh?

- Now, sit right down here.

[chuckling] - See?

Tommy's dad just bought him a swell new pair

of roller skates. - I see.

So now, you'd like to pair for yourself.

- Yeah!

How'd you know?

- Well, just a lucky guess.

- Look!

I cleaned your slippers real good.

- Hey, this is really some campaign.

[chuckling]

- OK, you get the skates.

- Oh boy!

Oh, Dad, here's your pipe.

- Well, thank you.

- Oh, I meant to tell you, I washed your pipe, too.

Is there anything else I can do for you, Dad?

- No, I'm afraid you've done enough, son.

- I've finished the upstairs, dear.

Well, you seem to have slowed down here.

I've come to a complete stop.

Martha, I don't mind telling you, I've had it.

- Well, I'm not surprised.

It's the first time you've helped me with the spring

cleaning and you're not used to it.

- Ugh.

I ache in bones I didn't even know I had.

If spring cleaning wears out a strong, healthy man like me,

I can imagine what it does to a delicate woman.

- It only happens once a year.

- Yes, but the ordinary housecleaning

goes on every day.

The cooking, the dish washing, the bed making-- Martha,

I've made a slave of you for 30 years.

- Oh, nonsense.

I only do what any wife's supposed to do.

- Well, by golly, I'm putting a stop to it.

I'm hiring you a housekeeper tomorrow.

- A housekeeper?

- I'm going to call an employment agency

and tell them to send the best woman they've got over

in the morning for an interview.

- George, I'm not sure I want a housekeeper.

Besides, it's an added expense.

- Oh, well, my stocks are doing well,

and I'm willing to spend any amount-- a-any

reasonable amount to relieve you of the duties that

have left you mentally and physically fatigued.

- I'm not mentally and physically fatigued.

- Well, you must be, or you wouldn't be arguing with me.

Now, we are going to have a housekeeper,

and you're going to rest.

- Well, maybe I'll enjoy being a lady of leisure for a change.

- Of course you will, my dear, it'll make a new woman of you.

No longer will your fingers be worn with toil.

- George, you make me sound like Mother Machree.

- Look, Mom.

Aren't they cute?

- Well, I never thought I'd say it, but they really are.

- Schools have certainly changed since I was a boy.

We didn't have mice to play with as part of our lessons.

- Oh, we don't just play with them, Dad.

Us kids are going to have all kinds of pets.

And we're gonna feed them real good

and report on how they grow.

- They're teaching the children that proper diet

can make them grow, too.

- That's right, Mom.

So I'm gonna feed my mice plenty of ice cream and cake.

- I wouldn't do that, son.

- Why not?

I eat all the ice cream and cake I can get.

And I'm still growing.

- You'd better consult your mother and me

before you start feeding them.

We'll work out a diet together.

- OK.

I'm gonna take the mice over to Mr. Wilson

and show them to him.

- Oh, maybe you shouldn't, dear.

He might be busy.

- Oh, I won't stay long.

I think Mr. Wilson ought to meet the mice.

Because I want all my friends to know each other.

- Heh heh heh.

Oh, these'll make a very interesting school

project, Dennis.

- You should see the way they run.

Is it OK if I let them loose on the floor?

- Oh, no, no, you'd better not.

No, no, Dennis.

Mrs. Wilson gave the house a thorough cleaning yesterday.

- Boy, everything sure looks clean.

Well, it'll be the last time she has to do it.

I'm bringing in another woman to cook and do the housework.

- You mean you're gonna have two wives?

Boy, wait'll I tell Mom and Dad that you--

- No, Dennis.

Not two wives.

This woman, a Mrs. Davis, is going

to be paid to do the work.

- Oh.

Oh, you mean Mrs. Wilson did it all for nothing, huh?

- Yeah.

I mean, no!

No, she did it because uh, eh, uh-- oh,

you're too young to understand.

- Well hiya, Mrs. Davis!

- Morning, Mr. Grigsby.

- Whatcha doing around this part of town?

- Agency sent me to see some people named

Wilson who want a housekeeper.

Know anything about them?

- Why, yeah.

They're fine folks.

Been my customers for years.

Y-you'll like the Wilsons.

- Oh, I hope you're right.

I'm hard to please. - Hmm-hmm.

Boy, you sure weren't pleased on the last job you were on.

- Their house was overrun with mice,

and that's one thing I can't stand.

- You know, that's kind of funny.

Mice are such little critters for a big gal like you

to be scared of.

- So I've got one weak point.

Aren't you afraid of anything?

- Heh, yeah, my wife.

But she's no mouse.

If there's a mouse around my house, I guess it's me.

- Mm, I won't argue with that.

- Well, I have deliveries to make.

I'll see you tomorrow at the Wilsons.

- You will, unless they got mice.

- Oh, don't be afraid.

I'll protect you.

If you hear a squeak, just let out a shriek.

So long, Mousey!

- You know something funny, Mr. Wilson?

One of them just keeps running around in circles.

And I don't know which one it is.

- Oh, you mean you don't have names for your mice, Dennis?

- Well, not yet.

But I'm gonna name one of them after you.

- Oh ho, that's very flattering.

Which one will have that honor?

- The one that turns out to be the biggest, and the strongest,

and the fattest.

- Well, the biggest and the strongest

would have been enough.

[doorbell ringing]

- Uh oh, that must be Mrs. Davis.

- Maybe she'd like to see my mice, too.

- Uh, no.

No, you better go on home, Dennis.

I have to interview Mrs. Davis, ask her a lot of questions.

You wouldn't be interested.

- OK, see you later. - All right.

- Oh, heh.

Mrs. Davis?

- That's right.

Agency sent me.

- Oh.

I'm George Wilson.

Eh, come right in.

Ah, eh, sit down.

Ha heh heh.

Ah.

Now then, Mrs. Davis, let's get right down to business,

eh, ahem.

Have you, uh, had much experience as a housekeeper?

- Don't fret about my experience.

I've had plenty.

How much experience have you had as a boss?

- Me?

Oh, well, I-- heh.

- A real boss don't try to be bossy,

and that's the only kind I'll work for.

I'm a woman who don't like interference.

- Oh, well I can understand that--

- And there are some other things I don't like.

I keep a neat, tidy house.

And I don't put up with people who are messy.

Are you messy?

- Why, of course not, I--

- Are you sure?

You got your necktie on kind of crooked.

Oh.

Uh, I'm a very tidy man--

- We'll get along if you remember I'm in complete charge.

All right with you?

- Oh, well, I suppose so.

- All right, I'm hired.

Where is the kitchen?

- Eh, oh, it's right out there.

- Oh!

Hello. - Hello.

You Mrs. Wilson?

- Yes.

You must be the housekeeper.

- Flora Davis.

Hope we get along.

- Oh, I'm sure we will if Mr. Wilson selected you.

Where is he?

- Out in the patio.

Got under foot, so I told him to get out of here

and go take a nap.

- Well, men do have a way of get--

Why are you washing dishes?

I didn't think I left any dirty ones this morning.

- You didn't.

I got my own system of stacking dishes in the cupboard.

Took them out to stack them my way.

Long as they were out, I decided to wash them again.

- Ah.

Well, while you finish that, I'll

start getting my husband's lunch.

- I'll do it.

Plenty of time to finish this and do the cooking, too.

- But I found the nicest cod liver.

And Mr. Wilson likes the way I fix it.

- There's nothing wrong with the way I fix it.

Now, you just take yourself a rest,

and I'll take care of the work.

Well, if there's nothing I can do.

- Not a thing.

No more chores for you, Mrs. Wilson.

You got me now, and things are going to be different.

- Yes, I can see they will be.

- Thank you.

- Oh, good morning, Mitchell.

- Good morning, Mr. Wilson.

Say, Dennis tells me you hired a housekeeper yesterday.

- I certainly did.

And it's the best thing that ever happened to Martha.

- It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me, Alice.

- A housekeeper for you?

- Is the woman a good housekeeper?

- Oh, highly efficient.

She's taken over so completely, Martha

doesn't even have to lift a hand.

- I can't lift a hand.

I can't even get into my own kitchen.

- I imagine Mrs. Wilson's pretty grateful, huh?

- Oh, naturally.

She realizes I've done a fine, generous thing for her.

- Poor, silly George thinks he's done

such a fine, generous thing for me.

I can't hurt his feelings.

- Oh, dear.

Yes, I can see why you can't fire her.

- Mr. Wilson!

Just where do you think you're putting those ashes?

- Ashes?

Why, in the ash stand, of course.

That's where I always put-- The ash stand, where is it?

- There it is.

- But I always keep it here by the couch.

I thought it was still here-- who moved it?

- I did.

Now gimme that thing, before you make more mess.

- Wait a minute!

What are you doing?

I paid 35 cents for that cigar!

- Well, even the price of cabbage has gone up.

- Now, look here, Mrs. Davis, this is my house.

- It's your wife's house, too, and she

don't give me any trouble.

And she wouldn't like it if she knew you were complaining.

- Ohh, well, all right, all right, but-- I

want that ash stand over by the couch where I sit to read.

- The light's better for reading in this chair, so sit here.

Anyway, a man as old as you are ought

to be careful of his eyes.

- Oh, no, don't you bother with that, Mrs. Wilson.

- Oh, I don't mind.

I enjoy fixing flowers.

- I'm your housekeeper.

I keep the house.

In spite of himself out there, dropping ashes on the rug.

Got a little sulky when I called him on it.

- Oh.

Well, I wouldn't want you to stay if Mr. Wilson upset you.

- Don't you worry about me.

I can handle him fine.

- Oh.

Because if you decided to quit, I'd understand perfectly.

- No, sir.

I'm no quitter.

When I take a job, I stay with it.

- Good.

The only time I ever quit was my last job.

I walked out on the back porch and, right there in the corner,

looking at me was-- - Hey, Mrs. Wilson!

Here's the butter Mom borrowed.

Oh, excuse me.

- Mrs. Davis, this is our little friend, Dennis Mitchell.

- Hello, sonny.

- Hi, Mrs. Davis.

You're the new housekeeper, aren't you?

- That's right, and I'm pretty busy right now.

- Would you like to look at my school project?

It's very interesting.

- We mustn't bother Mrs. Davis now.

You come along with me.

- Maybe I'll see you tomorrow, Mrs. Davis.

- I'll be here.

- Yes, dear.

Mrs. Davis will be here tomorrow, and the next day,

and the next day, and the day after that.

- Ah.

[humming to himself]

[phone ringing]

Martha!

Oh, she's out.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Martha.

I just yelled at you to answer the phone.

I forgot you were out for a minute.

Well, where are you?

Ah.

Heh heh heh heh.

Well, of course you may, Martha.

Eh-- no, no, I can't think of anything I need downtown.

Oh, fine.

Yeah.

All right, dear.

I'll see you a little bit later.

Mhm. All right.

Bye-bye.

Eh-- Wh-- Where are my stamps?

- In the desk drawer where they belong.

- In the desk?

Oh, for the-- Mrs. Davis, I spent

an hour sorting these stamps out.

- I spent two hours cleaning the house,

and I won't have the coffee table

all littered up with dirty scraps of paper!

- Dirty scra--!

For your information, Mrs. Davis,

I happen to have a very valuable collection of stamps.

- If a man your age wants to sit around the house

and play with stamps all day, that's

fine with me, but not in the living room.

Right?

- We'll see about that.

I'll--

- And another thing.

I just put fresh towels in the powder room.

Your towels are in your bathroom.

If your hands get dirty again, upstairs, right?

- Wha--?!

Wuh- urgh.

I'll wash my hands any place I please!

It's an outrage, that's what it is.

Why, I ought to go in there and tell her that-- Ohh.

Hello, Dennis.

- Jeepers, you look mad, Mr. Wilson.

I'll go home if I'm bothering you.

- Oh, no, no, no.

It isn't you this time.

It's that Davis woman, telling me I can't do this

and I can't do that, and in my own home.

By golly, I won't put up with it.

- What are you gonna do, Mr. Wilson?

Are you gonna fire Mrs. Davis?

- Oh, I wish I could, but I can't.

I hired her because Mrs. Wilson needs her.

So uh, d-d-don't you mention this to Mrs. Wilson,

understand?

- OK.

But if there's anything I can do for you,

Mr. Wilson-- Oh, hi, Mrs. Davis!

- Now, don't get under my feet, sonny.

I'm gonna hang up the clothes.

- Oh, I won't.

I'll help you.

Jeepers!

Is this yours, Mr. Wilson?

- Ah, ah, ah, uh-- put that down.

It's my long underwear.

- Boy, sure is!

This is the longest underwear I ever saw.

- Oh, now-- you're not going to hang these out here

are you, in the backyard?

Why, the neighbors can look right in here.

- Why not give them a laugh?

Any neighbor of yours needs a laugh.

- Oh, is that so?

I'll hang it in the basement.

All right, Dennis.

Let her do the work.

She's getting paid for it.

- Would you like to look at my school project now, Mrs. Davis?

- Well, all--

- Dennis, I told you not to bother her.

Now, come on.

- Well, yes, she seems like a good housekeeper.

Why?

- Well, I just wanted to make sure you're satisfied with her,

because if she displeased you in any way,

I'd dismiss her Immediately.

- You would?

- Oh, just like that.

Have another woman on the job before you

could say Jack Robinson.

- Another housekeeper?

- Oh, absolutely.

I wouldn't leave you without help.

I just wondered if Mrs. Davis was right for you.

Uh-- is she?

- Uh-- well she is a good housekeeper.

She's neat and careful.

If, if we got another woman, it might be worse.

- Mmm. It's possible.

- Grace Trivers had a woman who broke half of her good china

the first week, and then tried to hide

the pieces in the wastebasket. - Hmm.

Is that so?

- Yes.

I wouldn't have a woman like that around.

- Oh, no, I should say not.

- Well I'll go for my walk.

I simply have nothing to do these days.

- Ah, good, good, dear.

You go right ahead and enjoy yourself.

Oh!

Uh, when Mrs. Davis gets back from the market,

any special instructions?

- No.

Mrs. Davis doesn't like instructions.

- I'll break one piece of Martha's best china

and carefully hide it where she'll be sure to find it.

Ha ha.

Yes, we'll have a new housekeeper tomorrow!

- George Wilson, you're a diabolical genius.

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, Dennis, what're you doing here?

- I ran out of cheese for my mice.

Why are you breaking the dishes?

- Eh-- oh.

Well, heh heh.

You see, eh, I just never have liked this set of dishes

and uh, I'm going to get some new ones anyway, and--

- Oh, boy!

I'll help you get rid of these.

- Huh? Oh!

Dennis, don't-- --start.

Confound it, I wish she'd leave my desk al-- oh, here it is.

- Where's your wife?

She upstairs? - No.

She's not upstairs, she's next door visiting the Mitchells.

Why?

- Look what I found in the wastebasket this morning.

You busted those dishes, didn't you?

- Well, I don't think that's any of your business.

- Well, you just be sure your wife knows you did it.

I don't want her blaming me for it.

- Oh, nobody's blaming you for it-- uh, unfortunately.

- What was that?

- I said nobody's blaming you.

- You just stay out of my kitchen and we won't have any trouble.

- Your kitchen?

- And I put your pills up in the bathroom.

They don't belong in my kitchen cupboard.

- But I take them after each meal.

- I just straightened out those cupboards,

and I want them kept that way.

At least your wife appreciates a neat house.

- By golly, I'll fix her this time.

Martha likes her because she's neat.

I know!

I'll make a mare's nest out of those cupboards

and blame it on her.

Ha ha ha ha!

- Oh, hi, Mr. Wilson.

Whatcha doing up there?

- Oh-- hello, Grigsby.

Oh, I was just, uh, checking up on our housekeeper.

- Mrs. Davis?

- Uh huh, to make sure that she kept

our cupboards in good order.

- Oh, you don't have to worry about old Mousey.

She's a real neat one!

- Old Mousey?

- Haha.

- That's an odd name for her.

Oh, I just call her that to kid her.

She's scared to death of mice.

Imagine a old battleaxe like that.

- Scared of mice!

- Oh yeah.

You haven't got any mice around here, or she'd have quit.

Why, the last job that she was on, she saw one

and she took off like a guided missile.

- Well, how do you like that.

Dennis and his project.

Why, I had the key right in my hands all the time

and didn't know it! - The key?

What key?

- Mice.

Now, to get Dennis over here.

- They really are growing, aren't they?

- That's because I'm feeding them real good.

You know, our teacher says that-- oh, hi, Mr. Wilson.

- Ohh, Dennis, am I glad to see you.

You and your dear little pets.

Mrs. Davis!

Would you come downstairs, please?

- Why do you want her?

- Well, uh, Mrs. Davis has been working very hard lately.

I think she deserves a little treat.

Don't you?

- Well, I suppose so.

- Well, what is it?

Better be important, interrupting me when I'm busy.

- Well, Mrs. Davis, we were looking at Dennis' school

project and thought you'd enjoy it, too.

Very educational.

Oh, uh-- won't you sit down?

- All right.

Don't mind resting my feet.

- Now, Dennis, show her what you have in the box.

- Aren't they cute?

- Ohh, they're darling! - Darling?

There's nothing sweeter than a baby chick.

- You know, we're learning how to take care of all kinds of pets.

- Dennis, what happened to your other project?

- Oh, I've still got them, too.

I'll put them in your lap, Mrs. Davis.

If you like chicks, you'll love these.

[screaming]

- No way!

I can't stand them!

I quit! I'm through, Mrs. Wilson!

You can mail me my check!

- Oh, she's really gone.

Ohh, happy day!

- Now, Martha, don't you worry, I'll

hire you a-- what did you say?

- Now, George, sit down.

The time has come for me to make a little confession to you.

[laughing]

- And all the time, you were hoping we could get rid of her.

- Yes!

And so were you, but you wouldn't admit it, either.

- No!

- Oh, I'm so glad it's all over.

- Oh, Martha, so am I.

- My, I'm dying to get back to work.

Do you realize I haven't even been able to make a cup of tea

for a whole week?

- By golly, you haven't.

A nice cup of tea would taste good right now.

- I caught them all.

One of them was halfway up the stairs.

And you know who that one was?

Good old Mr. Wilson.

Boy, Mrs. Davis liked to scare my project to death.

- Well, it's an excellent project,

Dennis and you've done a fine job with it.

- You certainly have.

We're going to have a little tea party to celebrate.

- Oh, boy, swell!

- And a big plate of cheese for your mice.

- Hey, did ya hear that, fellas?

All the cheese you can eat.

- And I'll just get the tea kettle on.

- And I'll get the cheese out.

- And I'll get the teabags.

Oh, this really feels like a celebration.

[groans]

- Boy, it's a good thing Mrs. Davis isn't here.

She'd really bawl you out.

- Ohh, good grief!

- This has been a Screen Gems film production

from the Hollywood studios of Columbia Pictures.

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