Original subtitles

Previously on Dark Side of the Ring.

Sure, you can watch the Hollywood Blondes, and we could have been a great

team if we'd been left together.

But if you can watch Flyin' Brian in his total element, being the loose cannon,

you're seeing one of the true, really, really bright minds in the business of

professional wrestling.

What are you doing?

Easy! He was on track to becoming the biggest star in wrestling by convincing

people that he was the only one that wouldn't do what he was told.

I have been fired by Eric Bischoff!

Brian and I talked about it. I can't give you what you want.

Raise the value in your stock so that when you come back, it'll give me the

ability to pay you more because you've raised your own value.

Brian Pillman masterminded a cutting -edge character the wrestling world had

never seen.

Laying the system at its own game, he single -handedly turned the industry on

its head.

in order to manipulate his way to the top.

If he played one side against the other in the middle of the burgeoning

wrestling war, then he would come out much better, six figures per year

But did he want it for himself? He didn't care about himself.

He cared about those little kids.

Lost inside his manic performance art, Bryan's real life spirals out of

He was dependent on to provide for several different mothers and families,

think that does weigh on a man.

A tragic turn of events would not only alter the course of Brian's career

indefinitely, but also the lives of those closest to him.

I really believe that if it was not for the Humvee wreck, that everything would

have turned out differently.

Melanie called me.

And she called to tell me that Brian had an accident and it was bad.

And he was airlifted to University Hospital and was in the

emergency room.

So, again, I was the lucky one to go to the hospital.

And I thought, oh, Jesus, here we go again.

When I got to the hospital, I walked right by the room.

And then Linda's like, that's his robe, Melanie. I'm like, that's not my

husband.

She's like, I know. It doesn't look like him, does it?

And his hair was red with all the blood.

And they hit him in the neck brace.

I mean, his head was swelled up like a beach ball.

I thought, oh, my God.

It was really bad. His eyes were red. Like, I didn't see any color than red.

Like, blood. His eyes were just, ugh.

He had six different doctors for his face.

There's one that just does the forehead, the lower mandible, the upper mandible,

the nose, the eye sockets.

Everything in his face was shattered.

They had to put plates in his face, and they peeled his scalp back to make the

incision and peeled his face down to put the plates in.

Word travels quickly that Brian has been in a terrible car accident.

And there's talk of him losing a foot.

His ankle was shattered.

In fact, the nurse told me that it was just like hanging off the table. She had

to pick it up to put it back on the table.

And then the doctor said, you know, that they would have to diffuse it into a

walking position that he wouldn't probably be able to run or even wrestle

I show up, and he goes, I said, don't talk, Brian. It's all right. Hey, I'm

you. I'm with him.

And he's got a titanium mask, and he's got things holding his legs together.

And once he kind of gained consciousness, what was his reaction to

I remember him crying in the hospital, just saying, I really messed up. I

messed up.

Because he thought, you know, his career was over.

And I said, just be grateful you were by yourself. There was no kids in the car.

It'll be fine.

But he was crying, saying, I really messed up.

So, to the best of your knowledge, what took place with the accident? What

happened to Brian? Oh, he fell asleep at the wheel. He had been up, and he went

and picked up some...

of his medication and i guess it hit him too soon before he got back to the

house and yeah he just um drove into a uh into a tree trunk off the side and it

threw the humbee totaled the humbee was there awful maybe like was there

substance abuse issues with him no just uh muscle relaxers

maybe a few pain pills

Well, we are turning the microphone over to you, sir. We don't need any police

reports or doctor reports. Can you tell us, in your own words, what happened?

70 miles per hour, and I instantly became evil Knievel.

Shot up in the air, then proceeded to come straight down, nose first.

And luckily for me, I didn't have a seat belt on because it shot me straight

out, and I pierced the convertible top of that vehicle with my head like a

bullet. It was shot out.

50 feet away from the vehicle would end up doing two end -over -end flips.

Oh, my Lord.

When he came home from the hospital, I do remember him being in the living

and I had a gift, and I wanted to give it to him, and I was just terrified

because I'm like, that's not my dad.

I don't know who that is. You know, as a child and seeing my father like that, I

think it just kind of freaked me out a little bit.

I do have some small memories there of just seeing those bolts and how they're

just screwed into his leg. And I'm thinking, what's going on here, you

it's like, they look like they're greased up, but it's like, not greased,

it's like blood and, like, just it's all hardened. And it was just a wild sight

to see, you know, just some rusty bolts sticking out of your dad's leg.

Yeah, I just, I really remember him just being, like, so exhausted.

And run down.

I was just too young to really understand, like, what was really going

him and, like, how ragged his life had become.

The loose cannon thing had gone so far at this point that a lot of the guys

convinced there was no wreck and it was Brian working again. And they're just

trying to figure out what the angle is. How does he expect to get more money out

of this or more attention out of this? Or, you know, was it really a wreck? Or

maybe he just ran his car off the road and wrecked it to get, you know,

publicity.

He had created so much not only mystery but confusion about himself that even

the guys that were his friends weren't exactly sure how to take him.

Perhaps he would have done that for attention.

And then Kim, who would not work me, Kim is just like, no, no, no, it's real.

And I told people, it's real. And I think most people didn't believe me

He was, you know, there's the Andy Kaufman thing in him.

Faking an auto accident, perhaps he would have done that for attention.

There was even at one point a rumor that some of the wrestlers put out that he

was having plastic surgery to look just like Shawn Michaels so he could go into

the World Wrestling Federation and be the evil Shawn Michaels and fight him

the title.

Guys believed that because they thought Brian was nuts.

While the wrestling rumor mill is speculating the authenticity of the

media outlets also questioned Brian's intentions.

Brian, now you're not having plastic surgery and, you know, going to go into

WWF as Shawn Michaels' twin or something. I don't know what goes on in

online. Think about that statement.

It's preposterous, but just... Right now, I am owner of four...

I can look back, and Brian was pretty honest with me most of the time, but the

one where I know that he wasn't was right after the accident. And Brian, you

know, said like, oh, yeah, the doctors told me, you know, it's like, it's going

to take a while, but I will be 100%. The doctors have told me, and I know that

the doctors told him the exact opposite.

The wreck happened during the negotiations.

He kept it pretty quiet how badly he was hurt.

And if the real story of that wreck had come out at that point, I don't think he

would have got a contract from either company. He could never again do

physically what he had been able to do before.

And he didn't want anybody to know that.

The object was to play Vince for money.

And he did. Only he was...

Near dead when he did.

Vince signed him. And he signed him for more money.

Vince McMahon offers Brian a guaranteed three -year contract.

And although Eric Bischoff offers him more money, his deal is subject to be

renegotiated every three months.

Brian knew at that point, because of the extent of the injury, that if he had an

out clause in a contract, that at some point fairly early, it was going to get

exercised.

The events that have taken place in my life just in the past eight weeks have

really changed the future of my life. And

from going from a point not knowing if I was going to live or not to standing

here, signing a contract with the World Wrestling Federation, it's a dream come

true.

What changed about Brian coming into our company at that time?

Well, he's not going to be able to wrestle to any degree or even comparably

what he was.

Although Brian is still in rehabilitation for his injuries, he

the WWF in 1996 with the loose cannon persona already in full force.

There's Brian Tillman. What's he doing? Brian Tillman, recently signing with the

World Wrestling Federation.

I just remember him coming in and I was like, OK, let's see what he can do here

in the land of, you know, WWF.

They'll let you go out there and push the envelope.

But, you know, how strong is he? Can he do it?

And I would have if I was going to bet on Brian, I'd like, oh, yeah, if he

just get healed up, he's going to go right to the top.

I'm going to rape, pillage and plunder this entire generation.

When Brian came home, he still had an IV.

And he unhooked himself from the IV, go do the show, and then come back and hook

himself back up again.

He had to do that because of work.

So then it wasn't fun for him anymore.

You know, I don't think he enjoyed it anymore.

You know, that was what I consider the beginning of the end.

As Brian Pillman continues to struggle with his crippling injuries, an upcoming

surgery keeps him out of any in -ring action.

To disguise this from fans, the WWF devises a shocking storyline involving

his old tag team partner.

I needed to do something to get some heat. We were in Cincinnati in his

hometown, so...

It's always great to attack somebody in a hometown, especially him being in a

compromised position.

Steve and Brian were still friends, and they still wanted to see each other

succeed. Steve was still on his way up, so we decided to put them together

because we thought that they would enjoy it, and at the same time, the people

would enjoy it as well.

I laid into him and started kicking the hell out of him. I broke that cane

on his ankle.

That brass duck had flew into the crowd.

Oh, my God!

I stomped a mud hole in his ass and walked it dry. That was a stiff beating

gave him because it had to be. My character was a vicious, cold -blooded

was ruthless and remorseless.

So had I not given him the beating that I gave him, who would have cared?

They cared about Brian because I hurt his ass.

He may have repunked and killed his ankle here!

He gets Brian Pillman down and he puts a metal folding chair around the bad

ankle and then stomps the seat of the chair.

And Brian screams, oh my God, he's re -injured the ankle.

There's a way you can do that. I won't give away any secrets.

But that was an excuse for Brian to have continued problems with the ankle

publicly on television. It became in the industry known as Pillmanizing.

A body part.

Brian took that ass whooping like a damn man. He knew what I had to do, and he

sold it like a million bucks.

In the midst of a TV ratings war with WCW, Vince strives to produce edgier

content to further capitalize on the feud between Pillman and Austin.

Somehow they decided, and I was not consulted on this, but they decided that

it would be a wonderful thing.

If they did a remote from Brian Pillman's house in Cincinnati... We are

Austin is outside of Brian Pillman's home!

Steve Austin came to find him and staged a home invasion on Monday Night Raw.

Austin trying to get into the house of Brian Pillman.

Were you excited to do something that felt so real and gritty at that time? I

always wanted to do something that felt real and gritty, especially something

that's going to have the, you know, the...

The volume turned up, the testosterone, the adrenaline turned up. I mean, hell,

man, if you're just casually, if you're not a wrestling fan and you're kind of

just flipping channels and all of a sudden you watch the 10 seconds of this

scene, you're not going to change a channel.

Steve is a dead man walking because when Austin 316.

all of a sudden man i start bashing in that window with that woman of baseball

bat what the hell is that and there's melon energy shrieking

i remember events was like all right we're gonna have a stone call and y 'all

just wing it from there

Nothing like that had ever been done before in wrestling. It was kind of

groundbreaking, whether it was in a good way or a bad way.

People weren't ready for it. They weren't ready for it.

The reaction was pretty negative to it. I mean, it was pretty darn negative.

I didn't like it. I didn't like the idea of using a gun. It seemed going really

extreme, but that's the direction wrestling went.

Oh, my God, he's back!

That's Brian.

I don't know whose idea it was.

And how much input he had on the idea, he never really told me that, but he was

absolutely really into it. And they had to apologize for it the next week

because the gun thing, you know, Vince had to actually go on television and

apologize for that angle because it got so much negativity.

And on behalf of the World Wrestling Federation, for those of you who were

offended, those viewers, we humbly apologize for the incident that took

last Monday night on Raw.

And I think that's the only angle Vince ever apologized for.

The donuts here at ringside. While still recovering from the car wreck, Pillman

is temporarily sidelined as a broadcast announcer.

Yeah, I'm going to cut through all your duplicit rhetoric and cut right to the

chase. Tell them like it is. And hey, if the censors don't like it, you're going

to get fired. Not me. I'm Brian Pillman. I'll just go somewhere else and feed

people up.

He looked at being an announcer as a covenant.

It was less bad. It's not being a man.

When I said.

Look, you can make a great living.

You can take care of your health.

He didn't want to hear it.

The only thing he wanted to hear was me to encourage him that you could come

back and be what you were for really, really close to it.

And I never told him because I was going to lie.

You know, the competitor in him wanted just to get back in the ring and work.

was working matches, but he was in a lot of pain.

The former Cincinnati Bengals had two major surgeries on his leg.

Even though he was able to sometimes have decent matches, just because he was

smart enough to know how and he would fall on his face, do things that were

dangerous in a different way but not hurt the body parts that were hurt, it

really sad to watch.

He wasn't the same at all.

Brian needed to stay medicated more often than he should because of the pain

was in.

Because he was doing things.

that he shouldn't have been done.

He made it through because he said, I'm okay. I'm good. I'm fine.

He wasn't fine.

Consistently performing well beyond what his body can handle, Brian's dependency

on painkillers and the pressure to provide for his family is pushing him to

point of no return.

While rushing through recovery, Brian Pillman hampers any progress on his

injuries by choosing to still perform in the ring, which results in his pain

becoming all -consuming.

The only thing Brian ever told me was that if he had an ache or pain, he took

pill. He said if it didn't go away, he took another one.

And he took a pill until it went away.

He was sick, physically sick.

With infection in his ankle because he was going to shows and not recouping it

properly.

I would talk to guys in WWF and they would tell me how he couldn't get

the airport.

You know what I mean? Couldn't walk through the airport and he's out there

taking bumps in a wrestling ring. It's like he cannot walk through the airport.

I'd see him kind of walk around with his suitcase and he wasn't moving so well.

But Brian is one of those guys that, like a man's man, you just figure,

it is, Brian's got it. He's Brian Feldman.

You know, and I could have seen the writing on the wall, but because of the

regard that I held him in, I thought it was going to be just fine.

When you have wrestlers that are missing shows or obviously unable to perform

when they get there, then you know you've got problems. It wasn't that

with Brian.

How were you able to tell where the loose cannon ended and the real person

began?

How was your guys' relationship?

We had some problems. We were having problems because he kept wrecking rental

cars. He was definitely, like, nodding out at the wheel.

He was definitely having issues.

He acted as though he wasn't going to be around much longer. He used to say

things like... If anything happens to me, make sure you move back to Atlanta

don't stay up here if you're not comfortable here.

And make sure you find somebody so the kids have a father. I'm like, why would

you even say something like that?

And then the next day he wrecked a rental car.

I had become a bit estranged from him because he was tough.

And one time he came to my house and he had a big welt. You could see the hole.

It was like, you know, the syringe. It was a horse needle syringe that went in

there. And it was growth hormone or something.

But he was up.

He was like, he kept repeating himself. And I said, this is it, Brian.

I'll give you to 10 and get out of my house. My kids are upstairs sleeping.

Don't ever come here in this state.

Oh, yeah, but I got to do that.

I said,

no, I can't. I'm sorry. Your friend would get away from me right now.

And he did.

Some of his friends had come to me when I was in charge of child relations and

say that this was becoming a bigger issue and I needed to intervene.

And it was going to be tough because he was not going to appreciate that

intervention.

I called the agent, lead agent. I said, you know, I'm going to have a drug

tester there tonight to test Pillman.

And I said, make sure it gets done.

He felt like I had betrayed him. That's what he told me.

I can't believe you of all people would betray me.

And that you always had my back.

You were always there for me.

And now this.

I said, Brian, I'm trying to save your life.

That's all I'm trying to do.

And Brian was calling me up, I hate Jim Ross, why is he singling me out? Do you

know how many guys in this company are doing drugs?

And he goes, they're not going to find anything on me, nothing but my

prescription pain pills.

They're not going to find any illegal drugs in me.

And in fact, you know, the only thing that they found in him was prescription

pain drugs and steroids, which, you know, in an extent, you know, I don't

that that really counts for what they were looking for.

I had to lead Brian out of the path that he was on.

to no avail. I failed.

I needed to convince him that he's so talented that he was going to be a star

in other areas of pro wrestling.

I failed.

In October of 1997, at the Keele Center in St. Louis, Missouri, Brian is

scheduled to compete at WWF's pay -per -view event, Bad Blood.

In those days, the call time for talent at the pay -per -views was 1 o 'clock.

And sometimes guys would be late, oversleep, miss their flight, traffic,

whatever. But by 5 o 'clock, everybody was counted for except for Brian.

And that was egregiously late to be for a pay -per -view. So Bruce Pritchard

asked me, I'm in talent relations. He said, call.

Try to find where he might be. Call the hotel where he stayed last night in

Minneapolis. See what time he checked out.

I get on the phone, and boom, the guy answers.

I said, I'm with the World Wrestling Federation. We're looking for one of our

wrestlers. He stayed there last night, Brian Pillman. Can you tell me what time

he checked out?

And the guy said, hold on a second. And he put me on hold.

Okay, is he checking his records?

And he answered, he said, sir? I said, yeah. He said.

Mr. Pillman's dead.

And the first flash that I had, what is Brian doing now?

I said, is this a rib?

And the guy said, no, the police are here now.

I said, okay.

So I told one of the production assistants, I said, go get Bruce.

And he said, oh, Bruce is busy. He's doing it. I said, Brian is dead. Go get

Bruce.

And Bruce came in and got on the phone and I just kind of walked off because I

did not want to hear that news right now. 23 years later, I didn't want to

that news.

On October 5th, 1997,

Brian Pillman was found dead in his hotel room in Bloomington, Minnesota.

He was 35 years old.

It's hard for me to still think about it today.

And think of that heart of that athlete, that performer, stopping.

Just doesn't seem believable.

It almost didn't register with him because I'm like, eh, Brian ain't dead.

Because he couldn't die. If you knew Brian, this force field of energy that

was, I thought could never be stopped.

I honestly thought that.

State police showed up on the door.

And he had to tell me that my husband was found deceased.

As a kid already in the show

business world, I was thinking, like, is this work?

Like, is he really dead? Like, no, he's surely coming back. Like, I didn't even

know what to think. I didn't even cry when my dad died.

And I just remember, like, my family, we're all sitting on the bed, like,

hugging each other.

and crying, and everybody's crying, and I'm looking around, and I'm like,

where's the camera crew?

It's got to be around here somewhere.

I was like, all right, I'll play the spot here. We'll all just hug and

we're sad, but then reality set in. I'm like, oh, shit, he's really not coming

home. Like, holy crap.

As a kid, that's just kind of what I thought. I figured, you know what, he

to work that day, and he decided to stay there.

The next night on Monday Night Raw, the news of Brian's death is broadcast live.

Yesterday afternoon, Brian Pillman was found dead in a

hotel room in Bloomington, Minnesota.

I remember when we told the bell ten times. That was when I got emotional. I

remember very emotional, and that's when I was like, he's gone. He's gone.

And then I remember talking to, I think, Jim Ross. I said, hand the phone to

Owen. And then Owen says, I don't know. I don't know what happened.

Then Vince got on the phone, and he says, do you want to talk on camera? And

then I just thought, well, you know what?

With Brian, the show must go on.

Joining us now, ladies and gentlemen, in suburban Cincinnati, the wife of Brian

Thelman, Melanie Thelman. Melanie, thank you so much for joining us tonight. I

did say to Vince.

Please don't ask me about drugs or anything like that because I do not

know why he died yet.

Brian, because of his injuries, has had to take a great deal of prescribed

medicine. And that first thing he does is start talking about pain pills. And

then I'm like, nonsense, all right. I made like a really funny face. And I

remember that the only clear part of that interview, I can remember thinking,

which is mother was standing here so I could smack him.

Because he swore he wouldn't say anything like leading down that

the death certificate came out.

I think all athletes, to a degree, experience a reliance on pain medicine.

And, you know, I knew it was just a matter of time before it hit up into

someone. And, fortunately, it was my husband.

And I just want everyone to know that.

I hate to wake up calling some of you because it could be your husband next or

it could be you. And, you know, you don't want to leave behind a bunch of

orphans like my husband did.

I absolutely despised the grieving widow interview.

I didn't like it on a wrestling program.

I was uncomfortable with it. I didn't know why she had to go out there.

and have to answer these questions that were obviously meant to elicit tears and

et cetera for television, say for good television.

I thought he should have sent her a check for $100 ,000 and kept her ass off

is what I thought.

Have you had any opportunity to think about what you now as a single parent

do to support your five children?

Vince, I don't even really know what day it is.

So I don't know what I'm going to do.

Yeah, and everybody's like, oh, that was so horrible what you did to her. I

barely remember it.

I didn't really think about not doing it, but nobody pressured me into it.

I hated it.

I didn't want to relive and relive and regurgitate and regurgitate this matter

to Papa Rady and to me.

That's what it's all about.

And what was the official cause of death?

Heart disease.

And see, my father died of a massive heart attack at 55.

What were your memories of his funeral?

We got there early before people came in because it was supposed to be family

and friends.

And when we walked in there was a camera crew there.

And I walked up to them and I said, who are you?

And I said, you're not supposed to be here.

They said, well, Melanie said we can't. And I said, well, I'm Brian's sister and

I'm telling you, no, you can't.

And they left.

Did many wrestlers show up?

No.

Just Vince and...

Jim Roth were there.

They had an open casket, and I knew then it's going to be really tough.

There's the last time I saw him.

That's the last time I would see Brian, lying in a casket.

And that was just gut -wrenching, absolutely gut -wrenching.

I just stared, and I had memories flooding back when I was looking at the

corpse. I'm thinking, this should be a part of my pro wrestling career.

This should not be a part of my journey in this crazy business.

And we shouldn't be burying a guy that's this young.

And there's a young family around him.

At the very end, everyone's gone, except for, you know, a couple family members.

And the little girls, they're kind of running around, and they're not, like,

crying or anything.

They're just little kids. And they go, we've got to say goodbye to Daddy. And

they all run to the casket. Goodbye, Daddy. Goodbye, Daddy.

It's like, oh.

And I think for me, I was just in complete shock. I just, you know, I

put it all together. I just couldn't believe it because, like, I lost my mom

now my dad, you know, and I was just a lost little girl.

What do you remember from that day?

Going through the motions and pretending I was still alive and I had a soul.

I felt like I just didn't know what to do.

Right now, like, it's the same day almost.

What do you mean? I mean, I can bring myself back to that same pain in my

If I let it go too long, which I'm just going to stop now, if that's okay for a

second.

He had such an impact, such an influence on so many people's lives. It had to

have hurt.

Everybody to see him go. It had to have hurt everybody to lose him. But the

person that hurt the most was Melanie, was my mother. She dealt with losing

was ultimately the love of her life.

After Brian is laid to rest, his children are jolted into their new

I never really had a problem with Melanie until my father passed. And

know, like her true character revealed itself.

I spiraled out of control.

I wasn't the best mother in the world.

I always loved my kids.

Up until this day, Melanie receives royalties from my father's legacy, which

have seen zero since.

We stayed at my dad's house for a while, and then things got really bad, and we

moved, and, you know, running water would be turned off all the time.

would be turned off. It's crazy how you go from having a silver platter growing

up to not even knowing when your next meal is going to be.

It took a downward spiral. I mean, there's no other way to put it. It got

and worse and worse and worse.

Depressed a lot, sleeping a lot, drinking too much.

Brian found me on, passed out one time and I almost died of alcohol poisoning.

He was like 12 and found me on the floor with a bottle of vodka by my head.

No kid would have to see something like that.

Craziness.

When my mother remarried and my stepfather came into the picture, there

lot of drug abuse on the side of them and there was a lot of neglect.

My stepfather was very physically abusive with my sister and myself.

I would be grounded to my room. Oh, you're grounded for the next six months.

know, I better not see you out of your room. He had dogs more or less trained

abuse me as well. And if I was grounded, like these dogs would make sure I was

kept in my room.

Like they would bark at me and they would bite me and they would physically

keep me in my room because of how I was verbally and physically abused by my

stepdad. Like these dogs would adopt that mentality of like attacking me.

And then I was just so abused that my social, developing socially was very

for me.

And that's how, you know, nobody took

me out to throw a baseball with me, you know.

Nobody took me out to throw a football, you know. So I went to school. I didn't

know how to play sports, you know.

I wasn't very athletic.

So I couldn't catch football.

Couldn't throw a baseball.

But I was big into games and video games and stuff.

And I had a GameCube. And eventually he caught on to that. My stepdad would

catch on to that shit. He'd unplug it. He'd throw it against the wall.

It's like everything I ever latched on to or loved was taken away.

It was hard. It was a hard time.

While Brian Jr.

and Brittany grow up with Melanie, Danielle lives with her mother. As the

siblings drift apart, their Aunt Linda takes action.

At least once or twice a month, I would get them together. And so they didn't

lose contact with each other.

She is literally everything.

I swear I think that she is a true angel.

I don't have a mom, but she's the closest thing I have to as a mom.

I can call her at any time. I mean, she took me in. You know, she bought this

house so we could have a home and a family.

And I just, I don't know what I would do without her. I really don't.

They'd all come to my house.

There's a spider in the bathtub upstairs.

I don't kill anything, you know. I always take them outside when I find

Brian has a deadly fear of spiders.

And there's one I saw this morning. I thought, oh, I'll get that later. I

think he'd go to the bathroom.

I love Linda to death, and she's helped the kids a lot.

And I just want them to forgive me.

Do I know if they will or not? I don't know.

Brian Pillman lives on in the hearts and minds of his family, but his legacy

would return to the ring in a way no one would anticipate.

Brian Pillman's legacy in wrestling lives on in that he created a character

people still remember to this day because it was in large part himself.

He's a guy that overcame a lot of odds and totally kicked ass in an industry of

guys that were much larger than him.

I would have loved to see what the next 10 years would have played out for him

had he never had that damn car wreck.

He knew the hand that he was dealt after the accident.

It wasn't a damn thing he could do about it, but you killed him.

Figuratively, and I think eventually, literally.

Brian's death started a domino effect that forced people to recognize the

steroid issue, but put extra focus on the real cause of people dying too

which is pills.

The only hurdle he couldn't get across was the last one, and it was his own

that had betrayed him.

The biggest legacy, though, unfortunately, is what would have been,

would have gone, what heights he would have achieved, how much bigger and

he would have gotten.

He saw the end goal. He was so close to really just completely making it in

wrestling. Would he have been, along with The Rock and Steve Austin and a few

other guys, the biggest star in wrestling five years later?

Probably. One of them.

Just rebuilding my relationship with my kids.

Having my kids not be mad at me by the time I die.

We'll see if that happens.

My dad's not here, so if I got one parent left that I can go, oh, well,

my mom, that's just the way she is.

Sure, I could live the rest of my life hating her, but where does that get me?

Ever since I've rekindled my relationship with her, I've been happier

personal life. I've been better in my relationships with women. I've been more

understanding of people's plights and people's vices. I've been just a much

mature adult in general since I've buried the hatchet with my mother, so to

speak. And in many ways, I'm very happy that I have a parent left on this earth

to speak to and talk to, you know. I called Mel a time or two, and man, we

lost contact. And man, I reached out to...

You know, Brian Jr., a couple years ago, I had one of Brian's old weightlifting

belts. Out of nowhere, a sign from the wrestling gods comes in the form of a

cell phone call from Stone Cold Seaboss to tell me that he has a Cardillo

weightlifting belt that belonged to my father and that he wants to mail it to

and give it to me. And I'm like, you know what? If that's a sign, that's a

Following in his father's footsteps, Brian Pillman Jr.

decides to become a professional wrestler.

When he first said he was going to wrestle, like, it struck terror in my

I was like, oh, my God, he'll have fractured relationships.

His kids won't get the attention. He's going to travel all the time. He's not

going to be able.

And then I saw him perform.

And I saw the look on his face when he knew that he was creating homage to his

dad.

And I realized this is it. This is what's supposed to happen.

He just woke up one day and he was going to be a wrestler. And I literally

laughed. I'm like, you, a wrestler?

All you do is sit in your room and play video games. There's no way that you're

going to be a wrestler.

And it was just crazy. Like, he was determined and he quit his job that he

just graduated college.

And he was going to do it. And I was very hesitant at first just because of

everything my dad went through. And I didn't want my brother to fall into that

same lifestyle. So I was scared.

I think he'd be proud of it.

His son wants to carry on the Pillman name.

He wants to make his father proud of him.

He wants to accomplish something on his own, but yet pay tribute to his dad. I

think Brian would be into that. I just think he might be worried that Brian Jr.

is in it all by himself.

He's got some people looking out for him, but I think Brian Sr.

would a whole lot rather be there and keep an eye on him.

Great kid, looks a lot like his dad.

And I've talked to him about these things.

There's a lot of great traits, Brian, that your dad had that I hope to God you

can acquire.

And then there are some, not so much.

You have to learn where you draw the line.

Use his passion, use his intellect, use his athletic ability, use his love of

the game.

But then don't get too far off the beaten path.

Don't be a loose cannon.

Brian Jr., don't be a loose cannon.

You know, a lot of people, oh, you know, do you think your dad would want you to

wrestle? But, well, he kind of put a stamp of approval on me to be a wrestler

when he named me Brian Philman, you know.

There's really no going back at this point. So, no, it's just tragic to know

that we never got to have that ultimate father -son relationship. But in a way,

it inspires me to...

to be a good father one day, you know? So I think that's my goal in all this,

through wrestling and everything, is to be a father.

Now, that photo is very symbolic to me, you know?

He's kind of holding me up, and I always look at it for inspiration, you know?

So I would hope that one day I would...

You know, have a son like that, you know, to kind of hold up as the future,

know. It's like he's kind of giving me his blessing there in the photo.

He contributed a whole lot to the wrestling business.

He pushed the envelope.

The loose cannon gimmick is one of the best ones ever created.

And Brian was one of the best friends that I had in business.

And I hope that he thought the same about me. I love Brian.