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1
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,428
Previously on Weeds.
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The fuck?
3
00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:13,434
What's the matter with you, man?
Are you on drugs?
4
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,983
My parents have been drugging me
since I was 13.
5
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,526
Just give me my plants, man.
6
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,979
Do you have plans tonight?
7
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:22,030
Are you asking me out
while your hand is on my boob?
8
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,823
If you can catch me, you can fuck me.
9
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:24,900
Yeah, I'll get my skates.
10
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,985
I was having sex with this woman
at the derby rink.
11
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:29,697
You broke up with me.
12
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:32,033
- Is this real life?
- No. You're dreaming.
13
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,367
Now, go harder.
14
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,872
What the fuck?
15
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,078
I guess we're even.
16
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,834
Please go back to screwing Andy.
17
00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:38,914
We have no money.
18
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:41,045
Doug's cash is all tied up
in that fake charity,
19
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,377
and you and Andy don't make dick.
20
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,928
- We're really broke?
- Yes.
21
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:49,179
Maybe it's the bullet?
I don't know, this just isn't me anymore.
22
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,056
I'm gonna need you to buy me out.
23
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,977
I can't keep making the same choices.
24
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Something that keeps me busy,
maybe with flexible hours.
25
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,087
I have a young son.
26
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:04,045
But I'm open. I want to work.
27
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,006
You really can't see a mark.
28
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:08,837
Sorry?
29
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,928
Oh, where you got shot.
I just expected something bigger.
30
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,476
I mean not, like, a huge, gaping hole,
but I don't know.
31
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:17,179
A dent, a spider crack.
32
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,857
Oh, my secretary found that article
about you in the Old Sandwich Press.
33
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:24,687
You know, we pre-screen everyone
who makes an appointment, so...
34
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,781
I need a job, Mr. Burks.
35
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:33,196
Listen, we're a high-level
executive search firm,
36
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:37,749
- so we deal with CEOs, CFOs, COOs...
- You took this appointment.
37
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Okay. Full disclosure.
The article was a doozy.
38
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I mean, I was curious.
39
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,667
It was a mistake. I'm sorry. Mea culpa.
40
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:52,723
Then make it right.
I've worked with CEOs, CFOs.
41
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:57,144
I've led my own sales team,
marketing, re-branding.
42
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,766
I've...
43
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,271
Just tell me who to talk to.
Just point me in the right direction.
44
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:10,233
Shake the trees, put yourself out there
and keep your head down.
45
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,742
How long you been standing here?
46
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:22,328
You always hum Hava nagila
when you jerk off?
47
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,132
You can't make me feel
any guiltier about screwing Doug.
48
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,713
It was weeks ago.
49
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:36,266
And if you think it was bad for you,
imagine what it was like for me.
50
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,594
I'm pregnant.
51
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,603
Well, I wish you both the best.
52
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,438
I'm sure you and Doug
will have a great baby
53
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:50,898
and a great life together.
54
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,234
Now I'm gonna go lay under a blanket.
55
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It's not Doug's.
56
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,408
Andy?
57
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,040
You're sweating.
58
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:03,460
There's a very real lack
of air flow in this hallway.
59
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:07,039
There's, like, nothing
coming out of these vents. Nothing.
60
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,465
That's a return.
61
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,840
- Well, you've got it all figured out.
- I've got nothing figured out.
62
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:16,469
And when I said it wasn't Doug's,
that's just a guess, a hope, really.
63
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:21,103
But I'm almost for sure pregnant.
64
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At least it feels that way.
65
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,358
Mazel tov?
66
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,642
Got to love organized chaos.
67
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:05,811
Yeah.
They're like molecules all bouncing around.
68
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,063
Or tripping themselves,
in the case of my son.
69
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,610
Shake it off, champ!
70
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:15,608
- Maybe there was a sprinkler head?
- If only. But thank you.
71
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,618
- I'm Terry.
- Nancy.
72
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:24,662
- Gonna have to make a citizen's arrest.
- Excuse me?
73
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:29,084
The hand-off?
You should have hid it in the magazine.
74
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,506
That's what that looked like?
75
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,504
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, no. Relax.
76
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:37,963
- It's none of my business.
- No, no, no. It's...
77
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,884
Frank's got a prostate the size of a VW.
78
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:45,016
The guy next to him, Rog, he's got a fungus
79
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:48,975
that I shouldn't speak about
in mixed company, but it's not good.
80
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:52,812
Prostiflo for Frank, Zycopril for Rog.
81
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:56,114
- Oh, so it's Dr. Terry.
- Not exactly.
82
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,205
You're the biggest drug dealer in town.
83
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,791
Yeah. Legal one, anyway.
84
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,083
Care for a juice box?
85
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:11,913
Thank you.
86
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,773
- Jabberwocky!
- 10.78 seconds.
87
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,019
Oh, hey, Silas. Do you like sport stacking?
88
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,524
What the fuck?
89
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,857
Do you want to try a cycle?
90
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,282
Want to try a cycle?
91
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,868
I've been looking for you for three weeks.
92
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,196
- I've been checking in on Foursquare.
- Yeah, I got that.
93
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,873
Now, nutballs, you stole my plants.
94
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,666
And that's a total my bad.
95
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,370
But the good news is, I'm back on my meds,
so that won't happen again.
96
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,545
Where are they?
97
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,043
They're, like,
locked in a cabinet somewhere.
98
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,419
The nurse distributes them twice a day, so...
99
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,546
- My plants.
- Oh.
100
00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:01,301
They're in a closet at my parents' house.
But they're fine. I left some lights on.
101
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,053
Oh, you left a couple lights. Let's go.
102
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,009
I'm still on psych hold. I can't go anywhere.
103
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,470
Okay. Why don't you tell me
where your parents live,
104
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:09,600
and I'll go get them myself?
105
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,398
No way. My parents freak
if one of my drug friends shows up.
106
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,647
I need my plants.
107
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I don't know what to tell you.
I'm really sorry, Silas. I wasn't myself.
108
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:23,368
I mean I was myself.
I just wasn't my medicated self.
109
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,446
Do you want to learn how to stack?
110
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,324
Okay. Never mind.
111
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:35,164
Spanked it. 95%. Statutes are my bitch.
112
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97%. Spanked it, spanked you.
Might even spank myself. I'm so good.
113
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Want to show me that tonight?
114
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I can bring over some burgers.
115
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,891
Maybe your cheap ass
should take me out to dinner.
116
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Attention, everyone.
117
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:52,056
Well, except for a couple of you
that fell outside the bell curve,
118
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:56,314
I imagine you're all looking
at your grades with disappointment.
119
00:07:56,393 --> 00:08:00,864
You're wondering why you're so stupid.
I don't know. It is unfortunate.
120
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:04,944
So, to help you combat that,
I want you to write an essay.
121
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:09,532
Five hundred words due tomorrow morning
"Why do I deserve to be a cop?"
122
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Yeah?
123
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:15,916
Why you deserve to be a cop or I, like me?
124
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,629
Whatever you think is best, Ronchetta.
125
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,928
Now, I don't want to be here anymore.
126
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,722
Bye, loser.
127
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:33,476
Mets tickets down the drain.
And it's Tejada bobblehead night.
128
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:36,183
Man, I was gonna take my girl to B-Dubs.
129
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:39,110
Something about eating hot wings
just moves her juices.
130
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,990
I'll write your essays. 100 bucks each.
131
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:47,986
100 bucks? Fuck off, Botwin.
132
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I'm just trying to help, bobbleheads, juices.
133
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,701
All right.
134
00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:01,128
Austin! Good! You won!
Go out again, Ethan!
135
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,260
They all hate me 'cause Stevie's so good.
136
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,471
They hate me 'cause Kyle's so bad.
137
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,639
That's why I give them the free samples,
so they'll play him.
138
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:15,681
He's a born scientist, like his dad.
139
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,983
Yeah, well, we all have our talents.
140
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:21,520
I used to be in the drug business, too.
Sales.
141
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,401
Oh. With whom?
142
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:29,991
A small company. It's not around anymore,
but I'm looking to get back into the field.
143
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,539
Yeah? Did you do well there?
144
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,332
Number one, year after year.
145
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,121
Look at those guys.
146
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,756
Look at that. They could be friends.
147
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:48,594
Maybe. I also did marketing.
Led this huge re-branding effort.
148
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:53,552
Why don't they do a play-date thing?
Like a sleepover or something?
149
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:55,683
They should do a sleepover.
150
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,141
They're not kittens.
151
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:02,068
You can't just put them in a box
and say, "Play."
152
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:06,318
Why not? Please. Kyle needs a friend.
153
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:10,026
My wife and I need Kyle to have a friend.
154
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:13,114
We haven't had a night
to ourselves in three years.
155
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,917
You know that's what
nannies and sitters are for.
156
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,421
They all talk.
157
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,624
It's like a secret little club.
158
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,919
Once you get blacklisted, you're screwed.
159
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:31,848
So he's got a few quirks. He's five.
160
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,930
One sleepover, tonight.
161
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:38,434
And I will call my colleague in sales,
recommend he hire a new sales rep.
162
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,062
Sales rep? Yeah? One sleepover?
163
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,436
- Okay.
- Yes. Yes.
164
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,613
My wife, I'm gonna call her right now.
165
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,532
I should hit the liquor store
on the way home.
166
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,912
Shit.
167
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,295
All right.
Enough of this faggy silent treatment.
168
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,043
Let's get it out in the open.
169
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,545
Yes, I fucked the shit out of Jill.
170
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,047
That was probably not cool.
171
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,633
She might be pregnant.
172
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:15,217
- Well, that is definitely not cool.
- You're definitely not cool.
173
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,302
And what do you care?
It's probably not yours.
174
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,308
It could be mine.
175
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,639
It could be mine. Shit.
176
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:25,728
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
177
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,690
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
178
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:30,944
Shit.
179
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,910
Want to play to see whose kid it is?
180
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:37,531
That takes a crystal ball, Doug,
not an eight ball.
181
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,745
No, I mean for who takes it all on.
182
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,832
Nice. Real nice.
183
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,708
I suck at pool. Darts'? No. No dartboard.
184
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,088
Fuck!
We don't even know if she's pregnant yet.
185
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,178
Yes, we do.
186
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:57,263
So, does the winner get me and the kid
or is that the loser?
187
00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,686
Assholes.
188
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,351
I'll rack.
189
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,311
Surprise!
190
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,445
Who the fuck?
191
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,993
Really, Suze?
Does every occasion need a stripper?
192
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,366
He was supposed to be a cop.
193
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,413
It's a whole thing that we do.
194
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,165
- Bring in a robber...
- Less talking.
195
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,081
- Surprise!
- Shit, it's ruined.
196
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,837
Happy birthday, Trace.
197
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,547
Start the music, guys.
198
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,348
Lose the shirt.
199
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,686
Lose the shirt!
200
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,727
This is the best birthday ever!
201
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,816
That castle sucks.
202
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,022
This is where the king and queen live.
203
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:37,151
My Allosaurus will eat them in a second.
204
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:41,113
No, no. Play together, boys,
or it's bedtime, all right?
205
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:44,078
Fine. We can build the tower.
206
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:47,787
And I'll get a bug and I'll put it on the tower
and torture it.
207
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:52,295
No. No torture.
Happy kings and queens, okay?
208
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,963
Plant-eating dinosaurs.
209
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,091
Jesus, they're multiplying.
210
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,973
That's Kyle.
211
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,177
- He's a little shit.
- Be grateful.
212
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,645
Boys are little shits when it doesn't matter.
213
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,347
Girls wait till they're older,
214
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:12,482
till they can get piercings and STDs
and call their mom a bag of cunts.
215
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,530
On the bright side, I'm getting a job.
216
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,945
It's a real banner-fucking-day.
217
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:24,573
Allosaurus, crush castle!
218
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,912
No, no, no!
219
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,582
Oh, God.
220
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:35,584
It's okay! It's okay! You're okay. Let me see.
Let me see. Let me see.
221
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:40,797
Oh, it's just a bump.
It's just an itty-bitty, itty-bitty, little bump.
222
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,555
He hit me. I'm calling my dad.
223
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,438
We get a horse.
224
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,148
- What?
- A horse.
225
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,233
We take her riding,
make it look like an accident.
226
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,609
You're not acci-borting my baby.
227
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,240
Or mine. Nothing's proven yet.
228
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,034
This is a weird office.
229
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,371
That sitar was George Harrison's.
230
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,073
It's amazing how much
you can buy at an auction
231
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,659
with a shitload of charity money.
232
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,996
Not sure where that mattress came from.
Pass the bottle.
233
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:20,546
Used up all my good karma.
Damn you, derby sex goddess.
234
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,507
It's my fault, really.
I usually make a go for the poop chute.
235
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,806
It was late. I didn't even try.
236
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,475
Or is this good karma?
237
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,145
Depends on me. Me. It was me.
238
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,564
I'm too old to run out on another kid.
239
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:37,817
Andy Botwin, glue of the Botwin family,
uncle, brother, mentor.
240
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,156
Father.
241
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,529
Maybe this is another chance to do it right.
242
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:48,081
- Raise a good kid. Not gay.
- Father, father. Actual father.
243
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:53,458
Birth through whatever, me and the kid.
Ballgames and science projects.
244
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,254
I should have come on her tits.
245
00:15:55,329 --> 00:16:01,632
Report cards and lectures
and yelling for no real reason.
246
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:06,342
Failed expectations.
False expectations. Love?
247
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:09,519
Oh, you'd never know it. I can't do it. Shit.
248
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,096
Right this way.
249
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,559
Hey. guys. What's going on?
250
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,190
Unwanted pregnancy.
251
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,525
You got a horse?
252
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,403
I'm calling my daddy.
253
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:29,786
What about those Japanese cards
with the weird animals?
254
00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,787
Do you like those?
I think we have some of those.
255
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:34,619
Pokémon. I hate Pokémon.
256
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:35,874
Okay-
257
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:38,832
What about a book? No, a movie.
258
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,588
You want to watch a movie?
Let's watch a movie.
259
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:44,045
I'm telling my dad,
and he's going to hate you.
260
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,801
Kyle.
261
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:46,881
Hey!
262
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:50,639
Sit down before I microwave
your Allosaurus!
263
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:51,935
Okay?
264
00:16:57,892 --> 00:17:03,490
You're into bugs and dinosaurs
and not so into sports,
265
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:07,239
so I'm thinking you're pretty smart, right?
266
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:12,408
And inexplicably mature.
Do you know what "mature" means?
267
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,287
No?
268
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:19,923
Grownup, able to handle things,
like the truth,
269
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,879
and getting hit with blocks.
270
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:27,681
Lots of blocks are gonna
come your way in life, Kyle.
271
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,302
Lots.
272
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,760
Especially if you go on acting like this.
273
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:36,814
You're gonna grow up,
and people are gonna hate you,
274
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,358
really not like you at all.
275
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,276
Forget girls.
276
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,188
Forget friends.
277
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:48,197
Sure, some might act
like your friends, but really,
278
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:53,282
they just want something from you,
money, sex, drugs.
279
00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:57,369
You're an asshole,
and it gets you to the top and guess what?
280
00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:01,297
There's nobody else there.
So you double down and keep working.
281
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:07,926
And before you know it,
any family you had is long gone, too.
282
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,388
But
283
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:21,518
I'm thinking it's not too late
for you to do things differently.
284
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:25,738
Is this 'cause you got shot in the head?
285
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,325
Hey.
286
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:36,204
Kyle, you're gonna play
with Shane for a while, okay?
287
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,124
I owe you one.
288
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,210
Silas? Silas?
289
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:50,593
Oh, hi, Mom. Just doing a little cleaning up.
290
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:54,266
I think I pimped out
both your brothers tonight.
291
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:57,766
Oh, well, if you're trying to go
for the trifecta, sorry,
292
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,518
'cause I already pimped myself out.
293
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,567
You're drunk and dressed like a ninja.
294
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,359
And what... Where are your plants?
295
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:13,449
Oh, those? They got stolen weeks ago.
But I had a plan.
296
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:18,408
All I had to do was sneak into the house
when nobody was home and get them back.
297
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:22,462
Is it technically robbery
if you're stealing stuff that's already yours?
298
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,083
Whose home?
299
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:29,711
You know, I don't even know their names.
Well, I mean, there's Tracy, of course.
300
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:34,174
She turned 50 today.
But really, they're just strangers.
301
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:38,644
Never did anything to me.
I just let myself right in.
302
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:44,271
Oh, but wait. I'm not a burglar.
I'm a burglar stripper.
303
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:49,898
Wow. Not a single piece of that made sense.
When? What...
304
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,736
You got freaking robbed,
and you didn't say anything.
305
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,580
I was handling it.
306
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,426
God, we gotta stop doing this.
307
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:13,763
No shit.
308
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:15,844
But what?
309
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:19,928
We just throw our jobs in the wood chipper
and stare at each other all day?
310
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,400
I'm trying, Silas.
311
00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,815
Well, good for you.
312
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:33,115
And what do I do? What about my work?
313
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,033
It just... it isn't worth it anymore.
314
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,907
This is what I'm good at.
315
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,490
- I mean, maybe not. I don't know anymore.
- No, yes.
316
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:46,296
The growing, yes. The growing.
It's just the business par-t of it.
317
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,874
Maybe not your forte.
318
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,636
I'm gonna make coffee. Please come inside.
319
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,383
I'm gonna finish cleaning up here.
320
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:03,188
I think I can get some seeds
on consignment, start a new cycle.
321
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:06,811
I mean, that or practice my dance moves.
I'm very hot.
322
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,652
Just ask Tracy and her friends.
323
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,901
Go, stripper. Go, stripper.
324
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,904
Go, stripper. Go, stripper. Go, stripper.
325
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:20,363
Go, stripper. Go, stripper.
Go, stripper. Go, stripper.
326
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:25,330
- Security! Move!
- No, I'm protesting!
327
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:27,582
- Tear gas!
- I'm the 99%!
328
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,959
- 1%!1%!
- I'm 99%!
329
00:21:30,831 --> 00:21:34,256
Get a job!Get a job!1%!1%!
330
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,968
1%.1%.1%,1%,1%!
331
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:41,096
Get a job!Get a job!1%,1%!
332
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:55,655
All right.
333
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,008
You wanted to see me?
334
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:18,971
Great essay, Botwin.
335
00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:22,721
- Thanks. I guess the topic just...
- Great essay, Botwin.
336
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:26,930
Great essay, Botwin.
I sound like a damn broken record.
337
00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:31,483
How much did Ronchetta
and Bondi pay you?
338
00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:33,402
I don't know what you're talking about, sir.
339
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,530
And I thought you were a smart one.
340
00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:40,910
Fork it over,
and I'll see fit to forget all about this.
341
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:43,158
Can't we work something out?
342
00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:46,081
I mean, this isn't the last assignment
you're gonna give, is it'?
343
00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:53,085
Well, you're gonna do just fine
in the NYPD, aren't you?
344
00:22:57,084 --> 00:23:00,054
Nancy! Come on in.
345
00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:02,177
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
346
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:03,599
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
347
00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:06,723
Last night was amazing.
It was like a dam breaking.
348
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:09,976
- I'd forgotten Amy could even...
- Oh, that's great.
349
00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:11,940
You know, we had a great time, too.
350
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:16,104
Hey, Kyle has this bruise.
351
00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:22,777
- Well, we were playing Twister and...
- The kid is a klutz.
352
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:31,081
- You were gonna make a call for me.
- Yes, yes. Already made.
353
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,538
You're all set up. I said you're a perfect fit.
354
00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:36,340
Sociable, attractive, motivated,
good with assholes.
355
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,133
Am I right?
356
00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:39,801
On all counts.
357
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:45,804
So, this is what your company makes.
358
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:50,809
Complete SJ family,
head to toe and everything in between.
359
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,849
- Adia?
- Asthma.
360
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:55,401
- Brialta?
- Arthritis.
361
00:23:55,476 --> 00:23:56,853
- Celimax?
- Heart.
362
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:58,734
- Celitrex.
- Heart.
363
00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:00,029
- Diotrex.
- Bowels.
364
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,197
- Flopene.
- Gas.
365
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,650
- Helipram.
- Asthma.
366
00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:04,155
- Livatera.
- Cholesterol.
367
00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:05,235
- Livatrope.
- Cholesterol.
368
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:06,821
- Livapro.
- Cholesterol.
369
00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:11,455
Something for everything. And Maritor.
370
00:24:12,409 --> 00:24:15,003
Maritor's an underperformer.
371
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,423
Frankly, a dud.
372
00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:21,127
- Really?
- it's synthetic pot. Like drinking near-beer.
373
00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:23,178
- The marijuana pill.
- Yes.
374
00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:25,756
But when Washington
flips the switch and it's legal,
375
00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:26,931
my department's gonna be ready.
376
00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:31,433
We've got a whole raft of new products
we're working on with real THC.
377
00:24:31,512 --> 00:24:32,809
Very NG.
378
00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:35,524
- NG?
- Next generation.
379
00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:38,985
We're gonna kill it. Through the roof.
380
00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:47,866
What's up, King Andy? Ready to hold court?
Why, yes, I am. I decree it so.
381
00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:51,703
Decree me a flagon of mead and a wench.
382
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:53,709
This is my castle, bitches...
383
00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:59,917
What's up? I'm just helping Stevie out here.
Stevie'? That kid is so quick.
384
00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:02,293
I have to go to the doctor.
385
00:25:02,376 --> 00:25:04,879
I can see you're in the middle
of something very important here,
386
00:25:04,962 --> 00:25:06,589
so I'll let you know how it turns out.
387
00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:10,305
Let's do this. Let's have a baby.
388
00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:11,681
What if it's Doug's?
389
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,808
Doesn't matter. A little bit.
390
00:25:15,472 --> 00:25:17,145
Cross that moat later.
391
00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:20,736
The point is I'm ready. Let's go.
392
00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:22,863
"I'm ready. Let's go?"
393
00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:28,660
What? Should I cross my arms and wink
and wiggle my nose
394
00:25:28,736 --> 00:25:31,615
and then, boom, nine months later,
"Do you have the stirrups ready?"
395
00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:32,869
Shush, shush!
396
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:34,666
I did some thinking.
I did some soul-searching.
397
00:25:34,742 --> 00:25:36,119
Thank you, Kentucky.
398
00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:38,792
You've perfected bourbon,
if nothing else. Okay.
399
00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:45,420
It's been easy, relatively speaking,
being "Uncle Andy," "Brother Andy,"
400
00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:47,129
"Amazing-lover Andy."
401
00:25:47,838 --> 00:25:50,933
"Father Andy," horse of a different color.
402
00:25:51,008 --> 00:25:53,557
Scary, not just 'cause it sounds
like I joined the priesthood.
403
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:56,434
Why did it scare me?
'Cause I've been thinking of it all wrong.
404
00:25:57,014 --> 00:26:00,018
"Father Andy" is not Andy's father.
405
00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:03,696
See? Andy's father being Lenny,
406
00:26:03,771 --> 00:26:06,240
with all his bullshit,
spiteful Yiddish epithets.
407
00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:08,409
You think he ever built a castle with me?
408
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:12,405
These things are awesome.
There's drawbridges and horses and shit.
409
00:26:12,488 --> 00:26:14,536
We should also get
the king's battle chariot set.
410
00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:16,333
Anyway, I can...
411
00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:20,709
No, I want to do these things with him.
Lee Marvin Botwin.
412
00:26:21,830 --> 00:26:24,003
Or her. Lynda Carter Botwin.
413
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:26,051
Too soon for that? I'm flexible.
414
00:26:26,126 --> 00:26:28,549
We'll call him Little Ziggy Stardust for now.
415
00:26:28,629 --> 00:26:31,382
Placeholder, unless you like that one.
416
00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:37,270
Do you know how much these sets cost?
417
00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:42,731
Well, we could get, like, China knockoffs,
although that's a total Lenny move.
418
00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:48,149
Get a job.
419
00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:53,654
Or I could do that.
420
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:59,998
We developed Prazilax right here,
this very building.
421
00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:02,921
I don't have to tell you
what that did for the enzyme world.
422
00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:05,294
You'll have access to this whole wing
if you're hired.
423
00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:06,967
Gotta show me you got the goods.
424
00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:10,091
Can't justify two new hires
on sleepovers alone.
425
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,672
Won't be a problem.
426
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:14,892
Sleepovers? Plural?
427
00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:17,602
Amy went shopping
at the Pleasure Palace yesterday.
428
00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:19,305
Holy shit.
429
00:27:19,388 --> 00:27:22,016
I'm getting a company car, right?
430
00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:24,318
Everyone gets their toys.
33278
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