All language subtitles for Sam S3 Ep. 9 - Opting Out (1080p) (1080p_25fps_H264-128kbit_AAC)

He's started to clean it.

It should take him at least ten minutes,
I should think.

I'd better go up now, then.

I'll do it if you like, Mum.

No.

If he catches either of you two in his
room, it'll be that much worse.

What shall we do if he comes in?

There's nothing much you can do,
is there?

You know what to look for?

Well, any kind of pills, I should think.

If you find a hypodermic, you'd better
bring it.

It means he's on the hard stuff.

If there's a hypodermic, it does.

Is there any tea left?

Oh, in the flask.

Oh, good.

Thank you.

Oh, er... This letter
to Drake is... Yes?

Well, I know it's none of mine.

Frank used to write letters sometimes.

He didn't mean to offend people.

I mean to offend them.

That was my intention.

To offend them with the truth.

The truth can be very offensive,
can't it, to some people?

But they're customers, aren't they?

They have been.

Yes, I'll sign it, shall I?

Can I borrow your secretary, Morris?

You can.

Unless she wants to go home and sit in the
garden.

It's a lovely day.

You said you wanted me to work late.

Starting tomorrow.

Did you get me those files I asked you
about?

Oh, yes, I did.

Good.

I'll take them home with me, then.

Oh.

Hmm.

Good.

Thank you.

Don't let him work you too hard.

Get off early.

Sit in the sun.

Did Cassie ring you?

No.

Should she have?

I wondered if she'd made up her mind about
flogging us to the Jerrys.

Oh, that.

Don't you care, Morris?

Well, I don't take it very seriously,
actually.

I do.

Well, why don't you tell her so,
then?

Enjoy my tea.

In the sun.

Go and sit in the sun.

What's he think this is?

Billy Butlin's?

Well, he's taking work home with him.

He's taken files home nearly every night
for the last two weeks.

What files?

Forward planning files, mostly.

What about his shares?

What about them?

Is he hoping to sell any?

I don't know about things like that.

Where's he go at weekends?

Weekends?

Well, he's been away most weekends in the
12 months or so that I've been here.

Has he always done that?

Well, he used to be round our house every
Saturday and Sunday.

Where's he go, then?

I asked you.

You'd better ask him, hadn't you?

He's a grown lad.

I'm not his keeper.

He can look after himself like I have to
do.

He's only got himself to look after.

Look at my brood.

Ethel Wright.

She says she'll not share the bungalow
with Grandad.

I suppose he'll say the same when they put
it to him.

God, what am I to do?

Threaten to take me belt off to him like
he used to do with me when I was a lad?

Well, I'll keep an eye on him if he stops.

You?

You're here all day.

He'll have to do as he's told,
that's all.

All come full circle, hasn't it,
Sam?

He had to keep you in order once.

Aye.

And one of these days, one of yours will
be doing the same with you.

Aye, well, when it gets to that stage,
I shall pack it in.

Maybe that's how he feels now.

There's a difference feeling it now from
then, isn't there?

Ah!

How come you're home this early?

I finished the job I was doing.

I'm in Sheffield tomorrow, by the way.

I'll be gone by the time you get up.

You?

Not you, no.

I shall get up and get your breakfast.

Choose what time it is.

Stay in bed and don't argue.

Do you want a coffee?

No, thanks.

You're as bad as Grandad.

I'm glad you've come.

I was going to sit tight and let him come
back under his own steam...

rather than let him think we'd spent our
lives running round after him.

Come back from where?

He went out just before dinner.

Went out?

Where?

How should I know?

I went round to get him out of bed and
there he was, gone.

But he can hardly walk.

So he lets on, aye.

So he lets on.

We know better now, don't we?

Have you looked for him?

I've got something better to do than to
chase round looking after him.

Have you looked for him?

I went down to Club, you know,
towards Pitfields.

And he'd been seen going towards the
allotments.

He weren't there, though.

It's my fault.

Your fault?

He's tactless.

Nothing to do with you.

I know he's getting out.

I know him of old.

I'm the one who should have known better.

Known better?

Known what better?

Known better than to let him feel he was
being pushed around.

Pushed around, him?

He thinks we're ganging up on him.

I should have been more tactful.

He's a proud man.

Oh, he's that all right.

He's proud.

Among a lot of other things.

You don't see him as I do.

So it seems.

He's had a hard life.

Mine's been all moonlight and roses,
I suppose.

I know him better than you do.

In a way, perhaps.

He's a whole generation to me.

He's just a wicked old man to me.

You don't mean that.

Don't I?

No, well, perhaps I don't.

You don't think he's had an accident,
do you?

A sunbeam, a sunbeam.

He just wants me for a sunbeam.

A sunbeam, a sunbeam.

I'll be a sunbeam for him.

Jesus wants me for a sunbeam to shine for
him each day.

He's coming in.

How?

Dad isn't due home, is he?

Delivery dates as agreed in your letter
of...

It's in this letter.

If we quote them, they'll take more
notice.

What's this?

Morris dictated it.

I can see that.

You mean he shouldn't read it,
don't you?

What's he trying to do?

They're customers, aren't they?

Is he trying to upset them?

To offend them with the truth,
he said.

Well, there are customers.

I wouldn't mind kicking up their backside,
but you don't, do you?

Not if you want to stop in business.

Maybe he doesn't.

What do you mean, maybe he doesn't?

Oh, I don't know what I mean.

He... he needs a rest.

I need a rest?

You have a life outside this place.

He doesn't.

He lives alone.

Even his housekeeper's too old to come in
regularly.

I had to wash up for him.

When?

This morning, when I called to collect him
for the employers' meeting.

The kitchen was a pigsty.

You're thinking of applying for the job?

You'd have to put up with him all the
time, then.

It'd be worse than marriage.

Do you know how lucky you are,
Sam?

Lucky?

You've a family.

You live with people who care for you,
who go on caring for you.

Some of us go home to an empty house.

Things in it, not people.

Things that people we cared for have
touched.

Ghosts we can't let go of.

Can't.

Don't want to.

Does it matter?

I'll be on my own soon.

When Patil and Ethel and your grandad have
gone.

I was brought up in a family of lads.

That's what I've done all my life,
cleaned up after lads.

Served.

No.

No.

I'm not complaining, Sam.

I'm telling you a fact about me,
life about me.

I'm happy to do it.

Happy to serve.

Always have been.

Too much time on me hands these days.

I wasn't born to it.

I was born to be busy.

Taught to live like it.

He's too young for you, Eileen.

What are you saying?

Too young.

But not young enough for people not to
talk if you moved in as his housekeeper.

It's what you were thinking, isn't it?

Perhaps.

Wouldn't work.

I know that.

What I'm saying is...

people waste so much of their lives being
in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Maybe... Oh, maybe.

Awful thing about getting old,
isn't it?

You don't feel old.

Up here.

Mr Naylor's secretary.

Yes, he is.

Yeah.

Yes, I'm here.

Put her on.

Humming

That kettle would boil a lot faster if you
turned the gas on.

Sorry.

Why don't you just go and carry on?

I'll bring it out to you.

You want to get rid of me, so you can go
on talking.

Talking?

About me.

Me and my failings.

My little shortcomings.

Oh, shut up.

You told mum yet?

No, I haven't.

You look me in the eye.

No.

No, if you say so, I know it's so.

Oh, do you?

It's people who take drugs tell lies,
though, don't they?

They lie like the devil, don't they,
Tom?

How does the devil lie?

You wouldn't know, would you, Deb?

Would she, Chris?

People who take drugs tell lies.

It's all part of the process.

The decay of moral principles.

You've been reading too many books,
Deb.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, and you're assuming something else,
aren't you?

Which you're waiting for me to deny.

I'm not on this stuff, Deb.

It's not funny.

I know.

You've got a fag.

Sorry.

Deb keeps them around here somewhere.

I've got some in my room.

Tom.

Tom.

No, Deb.

Mum's still up there.

I know.

There's nothing we can do.

He's there.

Nothing.

Nothing.

How long has it been going on?

How long?

Yes, how long?

Since school.

Since?

Well, at school, then.

You had this at school?

No, I didn't start with that.

It came a lot later.

Well, how did you start?

Pet pills.

Sleepers.

Sleepers?

Barbiturates.

I'd take those.

Well, I did.

Did you?

Of course, Mum.

You're lying to me.

I'm not!

Yes, you are.

I can remember thinking I'd lost some.

What came after sleepers?

Pot, I suppose.

Smoking, or... maybe it
was the other way round.

I don't remember.

I can remember seeing a play once on
television.

What was it called?

Ghost, it was called.

A young man and his mother.

Something inherited.

Softening of the brain.

Be quiet.

You know it?

What's it got to do with this?

It shocked me, like this does.

I can remember thinking if that ever
happened to me.

That was VD, inherited, like you said.

This is... Self-inflicted?

Maybe.

Maybe?!

Well, if it isn't self-inflicted,
who inflicted it on you, Tom?

It's a weakness.

That's what most people would say,
wouldn't they?

Some kinds of weaknesses are inherited,
aren't they?

What's your point, Tom?

I heard you once say to Sam that my father
was a weak man.

Was he?

The thing you say.

I heard you.

I wondered about it.

Something else you said.

We never had many friends, you said.

You remember all that?

Never talk in front of the children,
Mum.

Cos I'm like that, aren't I?

Not many friends, bit of a loner.

I bore people.

I certainly bore Sam.

I always thought it was Sam who bored you.

Looking for a way out, are you,
Tom?

Do you like me married to Sam better than
to my father?

Somebody to blame it on?

Somebody who inflicted it on you?

What's he got that my father didn't have?

All right, then, I'll tell you that.

He has qualities.

Some he doesn't have that your father did
have.

The ones that took him away from me.

Intellectual things, I suppose you'd say.

And I'm not that sort of woman.

With Sam, I feel...

safe.

Safe?

A sort of permanence.

In spite of all the rows,
all the disagreements, all

the misunderstandings, all
the bad things in marriage.

In the end, he'll be there.

He won't leave me to cope.

With me, for instance?

If Sam finds out about
this... Why should he?

We can cope, can't we, Mum?

We can cope?

Don't say it as if it's some sort of
secret between us.

We never had many secrets, did we,
Mum?

I've shared more secrets with Morris than
I have with you.

Morris?

Morris understands.

He knows about this?

He knows about life.

I see.

We talked about my father, too.

He knew him.

Did you?

I'm taking this.

I want the stuff you put in it.

Sarah, Grandad's gone off.

I don't know where.

I'll go and look for him in a bit.

Look, if anybody rings, tell them I'm in
around six.

Well, if we haven't found the old devil by
then, I'll set the bobbies on you.

Yeah, all right, I will.

All right.

What's the story?

Story?

What story?

Well, what's he gone off for?

What?

Never mind what.

How?

How's he gone off?

Letting on he were bedridden all this
time.

I upset him.

How?

I gave him the idea we were moving him
for... for practical reasons.

Aren't we?

No, for selfish reasons.

For our benefit and not his.

Aren't we?

On reflection, yes.

On reflection, my foot.

We're moving him, Pat,
because it's the best way he can

be looked after from his point
of view as well as our own.

You want to dress it up to look something
different, that's your look out.

It's easy to manage another piece of
furniture.

Who said he wasn't, please?

Don't ask me for this.

It's me that'll have to live with him.

In a bungalow.

I'll not even be able to go upstairs.

I'll have to sit and look at him all the
time.

Oh, God, Ethel, we've been through all
this before.

Yeah, I know.

And since then he's had this affliction,
hasn't he?

And we've had it too and all.

He's made damn sure of that.

I should have told him before this about
the bungalow.

We're moving in a week.

Why didn't you, Pat?

Well, Mum was going to.

That's right, go on, blame me,
blame me.

Affliction.

He'll be halfway to John O'Groatsby now.

No, of course I'm not.

He's had a bad time.

I know that.

Why do you think I've run around after him
like I have?

Because you care about him.

And you're worried about him, aren't you?

Well, of course I'm worried.

Look, I've got my car outside.

I'll just nip to a couple of places.

I'll get a drink of water first.

Shall I ring Dad?

No, not yet anyway.

It's not just that his door's locked,
he won't answer.

Yes, well, that's not unusual,
is it?

I mean, he had the lock put on to keep us
out when we were kids.

Well, he might answer.

What, because he knows we're worried about
him?

If he doesn't answer, he knows we're
worried more, doesn't he?

Oh, I call that uncharitable.

So do I.

No, I mean you, not him.

Well, I call it facing facts, then.

Facts about Tom.

Fact number one is it's about time we
stopped finding excuses for him.

I mean, for God's sake,
anybody would think

your dad had a deprived
childhood or something.

It's not been the same as ours,
has it?

Oh, how?

How hasn't it?

We've both had natural parents.

He's only one.

Crap!

But that's a fact.

I mean, crap that he matters.

Oh, come on.

You're thinking the same as I am.

He's given mum some of the stuff,
but he's got some more.

That's why he won't let us in.

He's had a fix.

Giving himself away?

Yeah.

Maybe that's what he wants.

I'm going to tell mum.

Yes, well, maybe you could be right.

Listen, she doesn't know much about these
things, you know.

She's entitled to know.

Well, I suppose I'd better get home and
get stuck into my files.

Files?

Yes, doing a bit of homework today.

Left early.

Peace and quiet.

I wonder what you're doing round here at
this time.

Might pop in and say goodbye to Sarah on
the way.

Goodbye?

What did you say?

You said you might pop in and say goodbye
to Sarah.

Did I?

I meant say hello, of course.

Oh, doing your rounds?

Yes.

Yes.

Doing my rounds.

Has it been very boring
for you all over the

years, having me
popping in all the time?

No, of course it hasn't.

You've been extremely kind, you know.

Well, you all have, since Jessie and the
kids died.

All of you, extremely kind.

We're your friends, Morris.

Yes, I know that.

Yes, I know that, of course.

But friends can be very trying,
can't they, sometimes?

Oh, thank you.

And I was so very low.

For such a long time.

I always tried to keep away when it was
very bad.

Well, people have their own problems,
don't they?

Well, there wasn't much we could do.

I mean, we knew
that... You were there.

That was the main thing.

You were there.

You should have married again,
Morris.

No.

No, I could never have done that,
I'm afraid.

It crossed my mind, of course.

It wouldn't have worked.

It took a long time.

You see, it took a long time.

Well, even now, sometimes, quite
unexpectedly, I panic.

Panic?

It's not so much the pain as the memory of
the pain, if you know what I mean.

It's not that it hurts in the same way
still, but that...

I remember how it hurt.

How unbearable it was.

And I panic, remembering how near I came
to not being able to go on.

I didn't know that.

Oh.

Good.

Well, I'll be off then.

Well, you haven't said why you came yet.

Why I came?

To say hello, was it?

No, there was something, yes.

Yes, I remember.

I wanted to know if you'd done anything
yet about your shares.

No.

You've heard nothing from the people who
wanted to buy?

Well, the ball's in my court now,
I suppose.

I thought I'd wait a day or so,
then come and talk to you about it.

I'd like you to talk to Sam.

Sam?

Why not you?

You can still talk to
me, of course, but I

think it more important
that you talk to Sam.

On the run, Grandad.

Why'd you come back?

You heard what she said.

She's worried about you.

Let her worry a bit bloody more,
then.

No, that's naughty, Grandad.

Don't talk to me as if I were a babbit.

Well, you may have liked one sometimes.

I'm surprised, ain't you?

Jack!

Oh, Jack!

I've told you once, I won't tell you
again!

Women.

Aye, women.

I used to come on the run here from women
when I were a lad.

On the run from me, you mean?

It were me that kept you in order,
not women.

Aye, well, sometimes you run from soft
words, not hard ones.

Hard words you can understand.

Soft words are promises.

And no took the end on them, more often
than not.

Well, I'll make you a promise now and I'll
keep it.

All right.

If you don't like it there, I'll come and
fetch you out meself.

To where?

Back to our house.

Why can't I come there straight?

Because I think you're better off at
Ethel's.

So you give it a try.

You're not like our house.

I run it the way you brought me up.

I'd take my belt off too if you didn't
behave yourself.

Ah, you can make fun.

Who's making fun?

Bit of your own buck, is it?

Nay, I mean what I say.

You're better off at Ethel's.

It's like Brigitte on Saturday nights at
our house.

You'd not stand a racket.

Shall we get off then?

You'll keep that promise you made to me?

I'll keep it.

She were wrong, you know.

Your grandmother, she were wrong.

When I give you a bit of
the rough edge, she'd say,

we'll turn and buy it to
you one day, she'd say.

Happen one day I will.

You'll get no soft words from me,
you know.

You won't tell her, will you?

That I come back.

That I did it on purpose.

Does Sam know?

Of course not.

The roof's still on the house,
isn't it?

It's amazing, isn't it?

How you can live in a house with this sort
of thing going on and not notice.

There's no good blaming Sam.

There's a fat lot of noticing I did.

Blaming him?

No, not blaming him, Sarah.

I suppose if anyone's to blame,
you could include me.

You?

Well, I interfered, didn't I?

And Tom was a lad.

I used him to try to make up for the loss
of my own.

I lived here almost.

Sam resented it.

Of course he did.

I realised eventually I should have been
aware of it sooner.

So was David, too.

His father.

Not you.

Well, not just you.

When has he seen David in the last 18
years or so?

He came between them because he existed.

Somewhere or other, he existed.

Whenever Sam was tough, there was the
nice, warm image of David to turn to.

His real father.

Real, but not real.

Where's Tom now?

Locked in his room.

Chris thinks he may have more of the stuff
hidden away.

You mean he's taken more?

I don't know, God.

The kids know more about it than I do.

Why should he do that?

When he's sure to be found out,
you mean?

Why should he do that?

Have you been out to see him?

Yes, of course I have.

And he won't let you in?

No, he won't let me in.

He said, go away.

I see.

Do you?

Is he more than I do, then?

Oh, Maurice, I'm afraid.

It frightens me more than anything I've
ever known.

That he can look me in the eye...

and promise... and
go on killing himself.

And he loves me.

He loves me.

Of course he does.

Of course he loves you, Sarah.

But...

love is a funny thing, Sarah.

Well, not one thing, really.

All sorts of things.

Different for you, for me, for Tom.

And what we want, I mean.

I mean...

love can be very gentle.

Or it can be very hard, hard as iron,
almost.

Oh, yes, he loves you, Sarah.

But is yours the kind of love he needs
now?

Maurice, I'm afraid.

Right.

Ring Sam, Sarah.

He was at the office when I left.

Ring him.

I think that's what Tom wants.

I've got him into bed.

She's tucking him in, none too gently.

Are you sure he wouldn't have made it home
without help?

Aren't you?

Well, I said he wouldn't.

I want a quiet life.

How's he taking it?

In silence.

Well, they may as well get used to it.

They'll be on their own, mostly,
when we move.

I'm going to share a flat with a friend in
Leeds weekdays.

I'm tired of all the travelling every day.

I shall have the odd weekend there as
well, I expect.

Anybody I know?

Male or female, you mean?

Yes, it's a man.

We share political convictions.

And occasionally a bed.

It suits me rather well, as a matter of
fact.

I was never cut out for marriage.

Thought I was some sort of female eunuch,
did you?

No.

No.

I thought you'd a chap tucked away
somewhere.

Told Ethel yet?

No.

I will if she asks, though.

It's up to her.

I'm tired of protecting
the last generation

from the pain of their
old-fashioned ideas.

You know, you'll be old-fashioned one day,
going over the old battlegrounds,

telling the younger generation what a soft
lot they are.

Er, talking of old battlegrounds...

I checked those figures you gave me.

You were probably right.

We had some old stocks of parting powder
left over well before the act came in.

They were over 3% silica.

They were using them without knowing.

We're not villains at Crossman's,
you know.

Jobs for the miners used to say about the
foundry, didn't you?

You had a soft spot for it.

They were going from silicosis to
silicosis.

Aye, well, it's better now since the act
came in.

The world is moving, you know,
Pat.

Settled him down?

Aye, I have.

And no nonsense either.

Expecting me to be soft, I dare say.

Grandad?

He'd never expect that of you,
Ethel.

Dan?

It's for you.

It's Chris.

Yes, go on.

All right, I will.

Yes, right away.

I want it back home.

I'll, erm... I'll have
a word with him.

Later, maybe.

Make him feel wanted.

I thought I told you to go and sit in the
sun.

I forgot to give you these two files.

Oh, well, that was good of you.

And, er... I found this under your diary.

I wondered if you left it there for me to
type.

I see.

My resignation from the board.

Well, I couldn't just leave it there.

No.

No, of course not.

Well, now you know.

Does anyone else?

No.

No, they don't.

I was going to... Well, as a
matter of fact, I was just going to go.

Without telling anyone?

No, without... without long farewells and
so on.

Oh, I shall leave everything in order.

That's why I've been doing all this work.

And why I've wanted your services this
coming week.

Oh, yes.

I shall certainly leave everything in
order.

Where are you going?

I don't think you'd understand.

No.

No, it's not my business, is it?

No, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to be rude.

Do sit down.

I don't...

I don't think anyone will understand.

That's one of the reasons why I want it
too well, as it were.

Creep away.

I've joined a religious order,
actually.

Anglican.

I've been going there at weekends for
quite some time.

Weekend retreats.

Yes, I wasn't quite sure whether I was
suitable.

My motives and so on.

Oh, it's... it's very complex.

Some people would say I was opting out,
wouldn't they?

That's the phrase, I think, opting out.

Well, that's part of it, of course.

But only part of it.

Do you like the world we live in?

Sometimes.

Sometimes not.

It's the only one we've got, isn't it?

Sometimes I feel you can be most out of it
when you're most in it.

Do you know what I mean?

No.

No.

No, well, I said it was complex.

There are all sorts of... Well, there are
different kinds of realities to cope with.

I mean, the reality of my life here,
for instance.

Pretty pointless, isn't it?

Oh, well, it may seem so at times.

Living alone.

Oh, it is like that.

For me.

That's just the point.

For me, it's as awful as it seems.

You're good at your job.

No.

No, not really.

Competent, perhaps, yes.

I think I'd say I was competent.

Not good at, just competent.

I don't think I'd ever
have been more than

competent, even if my
reason for living hadn't gone.

That's honest.

Yes.

Yes, well, I've always tried.

I've always tried to be honest.

And he's got more, you say?

We think so.

It's just that he's... All right.

Well, he's taken some.

Probably.

Where is he?

In his room.

It's going to be rough, Sarah,
rough and nasty.

Don't get it in your head there's an easy
way out of this one, because there isn't.

We know that.

He didn't have to rub it in.

I suppose he's trying to make me do what
he never really made Tom do.

Face up to the hard facts of life.

He always seemed to to me.

Not when we were kids, he didn't.

Tom spent more time with Uncle Morris than
he did with Dad.

You noticed that?

I remember that it happened.

I don't think I ever knew why.

I know where Morris came.

And why Tom listened to him.

Morris talked about his father.

I never did.

I wanted Sam to be his father.

Tom, open the door, Tom.

Open the door, Tom.

Tom.

Open the bloody door, do you want me to
kick it down?

No, Mum.

Light hurts.

I knew this.

Knew this what?

I knew.

..

Do you like life, Tom?

Chris says.

He said.

You know what this means, don't you?

Police, maybe.

Doctors.

Bloody agony for you, for everybody.

But mostly for you.

Help me, Daddy.

Make it easy for you, you mean.

Our lights.

Help me.

Aye, aye, I'll help you.

Get up.

I can't.

Get up, I said.

But that light hurts.

Get up.

Do you know...

You know, I've read about people like you.

I've wondered even if it could happen to
me.

Decided it couldn't, put it out of me
mind.

Went on coping up for the things to cope
with besides you, you know.

We shut a door on each other, Tom.

Well, I'll take the blame for shutting
mine.

And you'll take the punishment for
shutting yours.

Because you're lying there and I'm
standing up.

It's easier on your feet, Tom.

Do you think I've never felt like opting
out?

Do you think there haven't
been times when I've

been on me bloody
knees wanting an end to it?

Do you think not?

I know what it's like down there where you
are, where you are now.

Why else do you think I'm
standing here and not down

the bloody road and turn
me back on it years ago?

Why else?

Because...

Because if I chicken
out at the same time as

you, there's bugger all
for anybody, is there?

Oh, God!

People like your mother down there.

And Chris, and Deb, the ones that stuck it
out.

They dream.

If...

If...

If they dream at all, they dream real
dreams.

And we can cope with their
dreams because in between

times they come up top and
they keep the wheels going.

Christ!

You're lying, you're muck and you expect
others to clean it up for you.

I don't expect... No?

No, well, that's what happens anyway.

Don't expect... All right!

You know what you are, Tom?

You're a parasite that feels no shame.

You'd turn from yourself
and vomit if you could see

yourself for what you are
now and you can't even do that.

Well?

Nobody got out of the mess you're in
without going through the fires of hell.

And you call it pleasure.

Come on, lad.

On your feet.

I can't, sir.

You're not here, are you?

Where are you, Tom?

Where I've wanted to be all my life,
so easy.

Hyperdermic, couple of pills, is that all
it takes?

Come on, on your feet.

If you're lucky, you'll go through the
agony once.

You'll go through the torture once.

I'll see you get the chance.

Aye, I'll help you.

You'll not thank me for it, but I'll help
you.

You all right, then?

Brought you some cocoa.

And some of your favourite lemon curd
tarts.

I'll bake them for you, special.

There you are.

Well, get them down you, then.

Go on, get them down you.

Oh, canny with that box.

Mind what you're doing.

Aye,

that's the lot, then, is it?

It's all I'm taking.

The rest for the midden will all be for
the lot.

Oh, could be worse, I suppose.

You could live to be a hundred.

Oh, what's so funny about that?

We'll have us ups and downs, I suppose.

You best laugh while you can.

You don't have to have me round every
Sunday, you know.

Have to?

I mean, feel obliged.

I'm not friendless.

Stuffing nonsense.

I had a letter from Morris last week.

Six pages.

Six pages?

What about?

Fulfilment's the word he seems to use the
most.

Spiritual fulfilment.

You know what it means?

Vaguely.

What's your interpretation?

I don't know, really.

Something different for all of us,
I suppose.

I had a taste of it this morning,
maybe.

I woke up about seven.

The sun was out.

I can never stay in bed when the sun's
out.

So, down I came.

Opened the back door, potted into the
garden.

And my clematis had flowered early,
I thought.

Fulfilment.

And then I remembered Tom.

And the sun went in and the clematis
hadn't flowered.

And I thought...

God, if only I could do something.

Don't let it sour everything.

How is he?

Awful, I think.

And there's nothing I can do.

And God knows whether this treatment's
gonna work, because I don't.

Everybody makes hopeful noises from time
to time.

Why do you say there's nothing you can do?

There isn't.

I can be there when he's finished
treatment.

That's where it begins for us,
not where it ends.

Oh, not so much for me.

Perhaps I'm his mother.

I think he finds me... adequate.

I depend on Sam, mostly.

There.

Fat lot of difference this made.

Aye.

Still, if Labour had won, the neighbours
would not be talking to us.

Shall I take Mum's down, too?

Let her take it down herself.

Why should we help the Tories?

Food's ready.

And jump to it unless you want it cold.

God help us if we ever get a woman Prime
Minister.