All language subtitles for Monk (2002) - S04E13 - Mr. Monk and the Big Reward (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 RZeroX)

It is the largest private
collection in Europe.

The Cromwell family
has collected everything

from furniture and paintings
to medieval weaponry.

This, of course,
is the crown jewel

of the exhibit.

No pun intended.

The Alexander Diamond.

It was worn by Queen Elizabeth
at her coronation.

Experts have called it
the most perfect diamond

in the world.

You're probably wondering
what it's worth.

Actually, no one knows.

But I can tell you this.

That little rock has been
insured by Lloyd's of London

for $20 million.

[Randy Newman ragtime theme]

* It's a jungle out there

* Disorder and confusion
everywhere *

* No one seems to care

* Well, I do

* Hey, who's in charge here?

* It's a jungle out there

* Poison in the very air
we breathe *

* You know what's in
the water that you drink? *

* Well, I do,
and it's a-ma-zing *

* People think I'm crazy
'cause I worry all the time *

* If you paid attention,
you'd be worried too *

* You'd better pay attention
or this world we love so much *

* Might just kill you

* I could be wrong now

* But I don't think so

* 'Cause it's
a jungle out there *

* It's a jungle
out there *

That's $42.80.

Okay, there we go.

And I have a coupon.

I can't take this,
it expired yesterday.

Yesterday?

Oh, she's right.
Darn.

Sometimes I wish
I had a time machine.

Wait, if you
had a time machine,

you would use it to go back
to save 50 cents on Lysol?

Yes. Yes, I would.

You wouldn't use it
to save Abraham Lincoln?

Fine, I'll save Lincoln.

It never ends with you.

Sir, do you have
a different card?

It says declined.

Declined?

Mr. Monk, do you have
any money in the bank?

No.

That could be it.

Okay.

Um...
I'm sorry.

Please hurry.

All right, I've got...

$34.

Is that it?

Yesterday was payday.

Yes, it was.
But I didn't get paid.

You know, your paydays
are becoming sort of...

theoretical.

Come on, you need to
put some stuff back.

No, I can't.

Look, I made a list.

Everything here
is on the list.

I know, I know.

We're gonna come back later
and pick it up.

Come on, people are waiting.

Okay.

Uh, this then.

Oh wait, no.
I need this.

Oh, this.
Gotta have this spray.

All right, how about
one of these?

Yeah, this one. No!

Um, no.

Let's go with that one.

Oh, wait a second.

It's like Sophie's choice.

Except it's soup.

Okay, we're keeping
the soup.

Putting back this,
this, this, and this.

Mr. Monk, look at us.
This is ridiculous.

We're both broke.

We haven't had a new case
in three weeks.

What do you want me to do?

You need to get a raise.

You gotta talk
to the captain.

We can't go on like this.

I'm not good at this,
asking for more money.

Okay, then let me
do the talking.

I'm not good at that either.

Mr. Monk, you deserve
a raise.

You've solved a lot
of big cases for them

single-handedly.

Maybe I helped a little.

No, no, no, no.
You can't think like that.

You gotta brag
about yourself.

You gotta toot
your own horn.

I'm not much
of a tooter.

(Natalie)
You better learn
how to toot.

(Monk)
Toot's a funny word.

Hilarious.

Oh, hello.
Gladys.

Natalie Teeger,
this is Gladys.

Gladys is great.

Gladys has been
cleaning up around here

for years.

I used to help her out
in my spare time.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Remember?
Yeah.

Until I got
that restraining order.

Remember?
Good times.

Good times.

You have to get underneath,
right, Gladys?

Under?
Why?

Nobody ever looks there.

But you'll know it's clean.

Isn't that
its own reward?

You'll know.

The captain says I don't
have to talk to you.

I know, I know.

But under, okay?
Under the table.

I wanna help you guys, okay?
I really do.

They already questioned me
four times.

(Disher)
It's not just you,
Mr. Landis.

We talking to all the guards,
the cleaning staff.

Curators, anybody
who was at the museum.

Yeah, but I haven't even
been home yet.

And I appreciate that.

We just need
your official statement,

then you're free to go.

So, for the record,

where were you
during the robbery?

For the fifth time,
okay, I was at my station

on the main floor.
I never left.

I didn't even
go to the bathroom.

And you didn't hear
anything unusual?

No, sir.
I was three floors away.

Okay.

Excuse me for a second.

Can I get you
something to drink?

No.

Monk, Nat.

What's going on?

Oh, you haven't heard?

Robbery at the
Macmillan Museum.

It was big big.

The Alexander Diamond.

Whoa.
I know whoa.

Robbery division asked us
to help out,

so we're taking statements
from everybody on site.

So you're not arresting him
about the drugs.

Uh, no.
What drugs?

His fingertips are stained.

Looks like
red phosphorous.

You get that
from making crystal meth.

He's gotta
have a lab somewhere.

Okay, I'll check it out.

Excuse me, Mr. Landis.

Could you come here, please?

If the captain needs me,

I'll be in
interrogation room B.

Uh, right this way.

What?
You know what.

You just solved that case.
For free.

What was I supposed to do?

Well, if you're selling
ice cream,

would you hand out
free scoops?

What was I supposed
to say?

Hey, Lieutenant,
there's a drug dealer

somewhere in this room.

I'll tell you who it is
for $20.

At least we'd have $20.

All right,
there's the captain.

Remember, you deserve
a raise.

You deserve it!

Okay, when you're right,
you're right.

Okay, Captain?
Hey, Monk.

What are you doing here?

Captain, I have to
talk to you about something.

Can it wait?

Okay.
Well, we'll come back.

We're back.

And...
Natalie?

Captain...

If this is about money,
forget about it.

We're broke.
The department is strapped.

We just got
another hiring freeze.

Captain, we haven't
had a new case

in three weeks.

You know, you're right.

There hasn't been
a major homicide

in a long time.

But you gotta
keep your hopes up.

Stay optimistic.

Okay, well,
thank you very much.

Okay, Captain, come on,
we can't just sit around

waiting for
the phone to ring.

It's not fair to us.

We have no security.

What do you want me
to do?

We wanna be put
on retainer.

What?

Yeah, retainer.
Like a lawyer.

We want a guaranteed income.

Look, it doesn't
have to be much.

We just need
a little security.

Okay, I'll see
what I can do.

But don't get
your hopes up, okay?

Anything else?

It's about Gladys.

Have you been talking
to Gladys?

Captain...

I told you
not to talk to Gladys.

She's not cleaning
under the tables again--

squish!

I think you
should talk to her.

I will.
About her aim.

Get him downstairs.

You were right.

I get this guy
in the room,

he's denying everything.

He's twitching,
he's nervous.

I threaten to get
a search warrant

and tear his house apart.

I pick up the phone,
I start to dial,

he collapses.

He gave it all up.

Crystal meth lab
in his basement.

Narcotics is
on their way over.

I owe you one.

Okay.

What?

You know what.

Oh, the thing?

About the ice cream
and the free scoops?

That's right.

Mr. Monk?

We're rich.
We hit the jackpot.

Oh, good.

Look, it's about
the Alexander Diamond.

Lloyd's of London
is offering

a $1 million reward
to anybody that finds it.

No questions asked.

So?

Mr. Monk, you can find
that diamond.

Aah, I don't think so.

What?
You're a great detective.

You solve crimes
all the time

without even trying.

It's annoying
how many crimes you solve.

Come on!
Let's go for it.

Let's cash in!

Natalie, I don't do
what I do for money.

Mr. Monk,
it's a million dollars.

You'll never have to worry
for the rest of your life.

Well, of course,
you'll worry.

But not about money.

I don't know.

Mr. Monk,
you have to do this.

I mean, I love this job,
but I have to get paid.

Just--just please.

Just say yes.
Say you'll do it.

Just say yes.

Could you get off
my counter?

Okay, fine.
I'll do it.

* A million dollars
a million dollars *

Congratulations.

Excuse me.
Any suspect yet?

I wouldn't know,
I'm just delivering flowers.

No, you're not.

You're a private detective,
just like me.

Well, not quite like me.

Me, a detective?

That's pretty funny,
actually.

I can't wait
to tell the guys back at...

Look, you're insulting me.

That satellite dish
on your roof.

The number on the side, 555.

Obviously a fake.

Conclusion number one,
you're after

the Alexander Diamond.

Conclusion number two.

You haven't got a prayer.

Excuse me,
that's a handicapped spot.

It's okay, I'm psychotic.

Is this where
they stole the rock?

You addressing me?

Not anymore.
You, Poindexter.

Is this the scene
of the crime?

Excuse me, boys,
I got a million dollars

waiting for me inside.

[door opens]

Ah, apparently
we think alike.

Frightening thought
for those of us

who aren't you.

Uh, Phillip Wick.

Access to all areas.
This'll do me.

Hello again.

What does this say?

Curator Sally Kanter.

Here, try this one,
Robert Gant.

That's a boy's name.

Uh, look, chaps,
since we're all

after the same thing,

why don't we just
pool our talents?

What are you talking about?

Well, work together
and split the reward.

Why don't we begin by
introducing ourselves,

all right?
My name's St. Clare.

Retired Scotland Yard
Inspector.

I moved to San Francisco--

I'm interrupting you.

No frigging way.

I'm finding that rock myself.

And I'm keeping
all the money.

Well, may the best man win.

I intend to.

He said man.

This entire wing was locked.

I mean, it was
completely locked down.

Somehow they opened
that connecting door

from the inside.

We can't figure it out.

What do you think?

I don't know yet.

Well, come on, focus.
Concentrate.

Do that thing you do.

I've never seen you like this.

What, broke?

Ah.

What-what-what-what?

These scratches here and here.

Looks like these tire irons
weren't heavy enough

to do the job.

Gentlemen,
we have competition.

That is Adrian Monk.

Adrian Monk?
I thought he worked homicide.

(Dirk)
What are you two
afraid of?

Something's off here.

What is it?

Glass shards
on the inside.

When that case was shattered,
this case was open.

I think they took this weapon,
used it,

and put it back
and relocked the case.

What does that tell us?

A lot.

It means it was
an inside job.

And they didn't
want us to know

it was an inside job.

Ka-ching.

What does that mean?

[over headphones]
It means
we're gonna be rich.

Ka-ching.

This guy's good.

What's he saying?

Put that thing away.

Excuse me, sir.

Did anything unusual happen

Tuesday before the break-in?

Anything at all
out of the ordinary?

No.

Well, now that
you mention it,

Tuesday afternoon I heard,
or I thought I heard

somebody whispering.
Whispering.

It wasn't in this room,
it was down the hallway.

It was about 2:30.

I was standing about there.

And I thought I heard
someone saying,

"My womb."

"My room"?

"My womb."
It was a man's voice.

And he was saying it
over and over.

My womb...

I thought it was coming

from that vent,

but it's impossible.

[phone rings]

I think I'm going senile.

I'm sorry,
I've got to take this.

Hello?
My womb.

My womb.
My womb.

It sounds like a mantra.

Like, a meditation.

My womb.

Look at this.

What?
It's a footprint.

Somebody was hiding
in here.

Wait, in there?

That's how they opened
the connecting door.

Let's grab the detectives,
we need an evidence kit.

Wait, not yet.

What do you mean,
not yet?

Let's find the diamond,
then we'll tell 'em

how we did it.

Natalie, this is
not a game show.

This is a felony investi--

It's a broken necklace.

That's an unusual design.

(Natalie)
Oh, good, good, good.

We'll try to ID it.

Come on, let's go.

Sorry.

You okay?

I don't know,
something's...

Something's wrong.
I...

[muttering]

I'm not balanced.

(Rufus)
Um, excuse me.

Yeah, um, I'm gonna be
needing that back.

Because I only
have two of them

and the other one
doesn't work.

Are you following us?

What?

Ah, Mr. Monk.
What an honor.

My name's St. Clare.
Inspector St. Clare.

I've been following
your cases assiduously

from across the pond,
you know.

Shakespeare, nobody cares.

Wait, I can't believe
you're following us.

Is that a lead?

Maybe.

Look, Mr. St. Clare.

Inspector.

I'm sure a gentleman
like yourself

can appreciate the fact
that these two leads

belong to us.

Two leads?

Well, yes, the necklace
and the initials

carved in the desk.

Mr. Monk.
I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

My name is Jennie Mandeville.

And I did something
I'd like to confess.

What'd you do, Jennie?

I robbed a bank.

It was about
three weeks ago.

The Community Savings Trust
in Sausalito.

Sausalito.

I don't remember
anything about that.

I'll take it.

Hi, I'm Lieutenant Disher.

Uh, Jennie.
Miss Mandeville.

Just have a seat.

Uh, is there a problem?

I'm claustrophobic.

Is this the only room
that you have?

All the rooms are
the same size, Miss.

Please, just have a seat.

This is Lieutenant Disher.

I'm in interrogation room A
with Jennie Mandeville.

So, you say
you robbed a bank.

That's right.

I went inside and...

I saw one of those pens.

You know,
chained to the desk?

And I really needed a pen.

So, I snapped it off
and I put it in my purse.

You stole a pen?

One pen?

Oh, God.

Do you think God
will forgive me?

I don't know, Ma'am.

But we do.

You're free to go.

What is up with
those three detectives?

Do you think we lost them?

Oh, Natalie,
they are not detectives.

They're rent-a-cops.

They're hired guns.
They are mercenaries.

In other words, they're us.

This whole thing
is about greed.

You know how you always say
you'll thank me later?

You'll thank me later.

Oh, that's gotta be him.

Hello, are you Mr. Kwan?

I think he nodded.

That...
Was that a nod?

Sir?

Sir...

If that was a nod, nod.

Sir, we found this
at the scene of a crime.

A robbery.

We've been doing
some research.

This is your design,
isn't it?

You give these
to your students?

Natalie, please.

Sir, you...
You have a thread...

hanging right
in the middle there.

Just--I'll get it.

Just one little...
Uh...

Okay, Mr. Kwan,
you look like

a very busy man,
so I'm just gonna

get right to the point.

Do you have a student
that could fit inside

of a roll-top desk?

He can't be more than
five feet tall.

Does that ring a bell?

Or a gong?

Mr. Monk,
you're distracting him!

No, he's distracting me.

Is there anyone here
who's that small and limber?

Who could scrunch up
inside of a desk?

A scruncher?
A little scruncher?

Mr. Kwan, there's a lot
of money at stake here.

I got it.
I got it.

(St. Clare)
Well, well, well,
Mr. Monk.

We meet again.

Surprised?

Why don't you get
your own clues?

Well, normally I do.

But you two are
so easy to follow.

Especially when
you're kind enough

to keep your emergency
blinker on all day long.

I told you.

It's the safest way
to drive.

Wait, don't question
anybody yet.

I have a voice stress
analyzer.

I'll be able to tell
if he's lying or not.

He hasn't said anything.

You are a pathetic
little frog, aren't you?

You thought you could
lose me, huh?

Well, you can all
just relax.

Dirk'll take it from here.

Hey, hippie.

You in charge?

My name is Dirk.

I'm a professional
bounty hunter.

I was wondering if I
could have a word with you.

Maybe this'll
change your mind.

I got $200 here.

$200?

They do use money
on your planet?

[all talking at once]

Cabin 14.

It doesn't say that.

You're good.

225.

His name is Chasen.
He's over at cabin 14.

Mr. Monk,
what are you doing?

Excuse me.

Hello, Mr. Chasen!

Is this your necklace?

We found it in a museum.

Okay, where's the diamond?
Hey!

Hey, I'm talking to you.

Wow, that's a really
deep trance.

Couldn't be deeper.

This man is dead.

Welcome back,
Miss Mandeville.

Have a seat.

You know the drill.

I don't like this room.

Please, Miss Mandeville,

you said you had something
important to tell me.

Something about a dead body.

And you said you didn't
wanna talk in my office.

I told you,
I'm claustrophobic.

What about another room?

All of our interrogation rooms
are the same size,

unfortunately.

No wet bars, no Jacuzzis.

Please just have a seat.

Now, you said
you found a body.

Your roommate's body.

This...
This is a real thing, right?

Not like, uh,
stealing the pen

from the bank?

Okay, good.
Tell me about it.

This is Lieutenant Disher.

I'm in interrogation room D

talking with
Jennie Mandeville.

Again.

So, let's start
from the beginning.

What was your
roommate's name?

Toni.

Toni?
Toni what?

I don't know.

You don't know.

Male or female?

I think male.

You're not sure?

To tell you the truth...

I just brought him home
the day before.

Okay.
Um...

Let's move on.

So you came home,
you found Toni.

And you, what,
disposed of the body yourself?

You realize
that's a federal offense.

I couldn't take it, okay?

I couldn't just stand there
looking at it.

Jennie, what did you do
with the body?

I flushed it down
the toilet.

Was Toni a goldfish?

A hamster.

A hamster.

Okay.

Here's the coroner's report.

Victim's name Danny Chasen.

It's probably an alias.

Victim was poisoned.

Somebody spiked his
all natural barley tea

with ammonia.

Was he part of the heist?

Looks like it.

They found some hair samples
in that roll-top desk

at the museum.
They match the body.

What about the diamond?

Still missing in action.

Wasn't on him
or in the cabin.

We know he had a partner.

Somebody who works
at the museum.

It's probably
still with them.

Wait, wait, wait.

So the reward is still good,
right?

I mean, no one's claimed it.

Yes, as far as I know,
the offer is still good.

Ka-ching.

Uh, can you make her
stop saying that?

This is no longer
a parlor game.

A man is dead, this is
a homicide investigation now.

Which means nobody
is to withhold

any information
from anybody.

What, you're looking at me?

Yes, I am, Ms. Teeger.

(Gladys)
Did you write these?!

Don't deny it,
I know it was you!

"How are things down under?
Hint, hint."

"Monk was right, you should
clean under the table."

You don't fool me
for a second.

"It goes without saying,
don't forget to throw away

these little post-its too."

Captain, she never cleans
under the tables...

You are not
the boss of me!

Well, I think I am
the boss of you.

What makes you think
you're the boss of me?

If I was the boss of you,
you'd be fired!

Whoa whoa whoa whoa!

Hey, separate.

Both of you.
Monk, over there.

Gladys, can I have
a word with you, please?

Look, Gladys, he's Monk.

Try to ignore him.

Can you ignore him?

No, I can't.

Just do the best you can.

So you're not gonna
arrest me?

No, not this time, Miss.

But listen, the next time
you feel like

confessing something,

you might wanna
call a priest.

Will you escort
Miss Mandeville out?

[whistles]

Who's she?

The Looney Tune
of the month.

Her name's Jennie Mandeville.

She keeps coming in here
and confessing to stuff.

What was it this time?

She comes in,
same as yesterday.

Says she accidentally
killed her roommate.

So I take her into
the back room

and I turn on
the tape recorder.

Turns out her roommate
was a hamster.

She didn't look unstable.

They never do.

Okay, can we
get back to work now?

Missing diamond, remember?

Ka-ching.

Ka-ching.

She is putting
so much pressure on me.

She's obsessed with this
million-dollar reward.

Obsessed.

All right, well, Adrian,
she's worried about money.

Now, I know,
a lot of people are.

Not me.

When I was on the force,

I used to hate
cashing my paycheck.

I still do.

To me, police work
is like a higher calling.

Like the priesthood.

You know, Adrian, even priests
have to get paid.

But it brings up
an interesting question.

Something I would like to

explore with you.

What would you do
if you had a million dollars?

Well, uh...

I guess I'd hire you
full time.

Mmm.

And keep you on retainer.
24/7.

Maybe I'd buy you a house
right next to mine.

So I could just drop in.

Anytime.

[chuckles]
This is fun.

What would you do
with a million dollars?

Buy an island.

A desert island in...

the middle of nowhere.

So we would do our sessions
over the phone?

[laughs]

Well, see, this island,
in my mind...

No phone service.

I guess I'd have to
buy a boat.

See, that's funny,
because, the island,

in my fantasy...

No dock.

Well, may the best man win.

Excuse me!

What are you doing?
Did you see that?

There was someone out there.

I'm going to have to
report this.

It's okay.
It's okay.

He's just another detective

trying to find
the diamond.

There's a whole bunch
of them.

Yesterday, they followed us
down the coast

to that big meditation center
in Monterey.

Oh, I've been there.

It's just beautiful.

But this was years ago
when Jennie Mandeville

was still alive.

Jennie Mandeville.

Jennie Mandeville.

Yeah, she owned
the property.

There's this big plaque there
with her name on it.

That's right.

I remember, I saw it.

What?

I just solved the case.

I think I know
where that diamond is.

Ah!
I have to go.

We'll add 20 minutes
onto my next session.

Oh, Adrian!
Adrian, I'm sorry.

I have a policy.

If you leave early,
I have to charge you

for the whole session.

Ugh!
Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

[trolley bell chimes]

Natalie!
Natalie, I did it!

I solved the case!

I know where
the diamond is!

What?
So where is it?

It's at the police station,
it's been there the whole time!

It's been right
under our nose.

Oh, my God.

(Natalie)
Who would do that?

Oh, my God.
Natalie!

They're listening.

What?

What I meant was,
I didn't solve the case.

I wish I had,
I'm completely stumped.

What are you
talking about?

No, wait.

What I really meant was,
I did solve the case.

The diamond
is in the Philippines.

We gotta go the airport,
fly to the--

Forget about it.

Just run!
Run!

Here, here.

[motorcycle engine revving]

[counting steps]

We lost 'em.

Wait.

We've been following Monk,
we've been watching Monk.

Why don't we try
thinking like Monk?

Think like Monk.

Think like Monk.

He went that way.

[laughing]

I think we lost 'em.

You keep saying that,
but we never do.

Hey, Taxi!

Taxi!

Police headquarters
on Vinton Street.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa.

What are you doing,
chief?

I'm with her.

You gotta ride in the back,
that's the rule.

No, I prefer
to sit up front.

It's one of my things.

It's true,
it's one of his things.

Well, here's one of
my things.

Nobody rides in
the front.

I'm afraid
it's not negotiable.

Who's negotiating?

That's it,
I'm out of here.

Whoa whoa whoa,
wait wait wait!

I'll give you 50 bucks
if you let him

ride up front.

Why?
What's he gonna do?

Nothing, nothing.
He's got a cluster

of compulsions and phobias

that manifest themselves
in a variety of,

you know...

It's one of his things.
He has things.

$100.

Oh...

All right, 72.
That's all I have.

Welcome aboard.

Whoa, whoa, wait.

This inspection sticker
expired yesterday.

Yeah, I'm taking care
of that tomorrow.

Expired.
It's expired.

Mr. Monk,
it's a million dollars.

Please get in
the cab for me.

It's expired.

Forget about it,
forget about it.

Give me back my money.

No refunds.

It's one of my things.

Where's...

Where's...

Oh, Disher.
Yeah, yeah.

I think he's in
the observation room.

Gladys, we're being followed.

Don't tell anybody
you saw us.

They locked the door!

It says "Push."

That way.

Lieutenant!

Lieutenant,
remember the security guard

that you arrested?
Yeah.

Where did you
interrogate him?

Right there, room B.

And the girl
who kept confessing,

Jennie Mandeville,
where did you take her?

Room A then room D.

But she
was never in there?

No, no.
It's gotta still be in there.

In that room!
What's in there?

Monk, what's going on?

Tell you later.

Whoa, you cannot
come in here.

My two friends
are American citizens.

They have a right
to be here.

Myself, I am
on a temporary visa.

Which I hope to extend.

Are they with you?

Only in the strictest,

most terrible sense
of the word.

I heard you tell your shrink
you solved the case.

Excuse me.

Nobody's going anywhere.

Not until we know
what he knows.

You just made
a big mistake, my friend.

I happen to be
a police captain.

And this is
an unlawful imprisonment.

Book him.

You're under arrest.
Turn around.

Do you have
your cuffs?

In my office.

It's in there, isn't it?

The diamond is in
that very room.

It is?

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

[all yelling]

Shut up!
Everybody, shut up!

Everybody but Monk.
Monk, what's going on?

Okay.

Here's what happened.

The woman who founded
the meditation center

was named Jennie Mandeville.

What, the confessor?

No, the girl you met

was not the real
Jennie Mandeville.

She got the name
from a plaque she saw

up at the retreat.

She needed a fake name,

maybe she liked
the sound of it.

What was she doing up there?

She went there
to kill Danny Chasen.

The guy in
the roll-top desk.

It was probably
her boyfriend's idea.

Jewel thieves
are like children.

They hate to share.

This is a very
crowded room.

This is a very very very
very very very...

Monk, Monk, it's okay.
It's okay.

Who was her boyfriend?

He was the security guard
that Randy arrested.

He was the jewel thief!

He was the inside man.

The diamond was still
in his pocket

when you were
talking to him.

(Disher)
That's right,
we brought him here

right from the museum.

(Monk)
I remember before
the interrogation

he was chewing
a big piece of gum.

When I saw him
after the interrogation,

the gum was gone.

You had him
on the drug charges,

he knew he was
about to be arrested.

Which, of course, meant
he'd be searched.

He panicked.

He hid the diamond
right there

under the table.

(Stottlemeyer)
With his chewing gum.

(Monk)
People do it in restaurants
all the time.

I've written letters
to my congressman

and to the editor.

What can I do?

He must have telephoned
his girlfriend

from jail to tell her
where he stashed

the diamond.

And that's why
she was coming in here

confessing to everything.

And why she was
always asking

to switch rooms,
'cause she was trying

to get in there.

O-okay.

I changed my mind.

There's seven of us
and we're all adults.

We'll just divide the money

seven ways.

No way.
We were here first.

I think it's only fair
that we divide the proceeds.

I mean, we have been
working in tandem.

We've not been
working in tandem.

You've been chasing us.
That's not tandem.

Excuse me,
could I say one thing?

You and you and you...

You're breathing my air.

What about them?
They're breathing your air.

You're breathing his.

It's complicated.

But if these two
dropped back--

Monk.
Monk, it's okay.

I'll call for help.

(Natalie)
Oh, my God.
Gladys.

No no no no no.

Oh, no no no no.

Gladys, no!

[all yelling]

[knocking on glass]
Monk?

Is that you?

[all yelling]

[knocking]

I told you
to leave me alone.

Somebody barfed
in the bathroom!

No, come on!

Hey!

[all yelling]

There it is.

[all yelling]

Okay, fine!

Look, I'm gonna clean
under the table

just like you want, okay?

[all yelling]

Go over the table
and clean!

Okay?
You happy?

I can't look.

Ka-ching.

[laughing]

She came in again
late last night.

Said she had something
to confess to.

This time we got
a real confession.

Okay, listen to this.

"Gladys Winchim,
who was employed

"by a local cleaning service
for the last 22 years,

"will be flown to London
on a private jet

"to pick up her reward.

"Miss Winchim found
the stolen gem

while cleaning under a table
in an interrogation room."

You're blaming me?

Under a table.

Why would they even
want it back?

There's gum all over it.

I've got some good news.

Sort of a consolation prize.

I talked to
the commissioner.

He's gonna put you
under contract.

Really?
Put you on a retainer.

He has guaranteed you
16 homicides a year

for the next two years.

16 a year.
Well, what about after that?

Well, we'll have to take it
one year at a time.

We'll see.

Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com