Original subtitles

The problem's not on your side.

You are not sterile.

So why won't it work?

Tell me, Charlotte,

your masterchef husband doesn't only look after the restaurant?

No. In fact, today's my birthday.

He promised me a romantic evening.

FRENCH CUISINE

Service!

Brunoise those carrots!

- Mamed, the parmesan tuiles. - Yes, chef.

Gilles, sear the beef.

Brice, move.

Salt!

C'mon, move it!

Chef, the Mayor's brought the whole council.

The journalists from Food Today are here.

Chateau Angélus.

The door!

Chateau Angélus 2000.

We swore we'd open it when your husband gave us our first star.

Stop that, Francois.

I can't help. I already told you.

He won't come to try my new menu?

There'll always be a table for you at Maison Epicure.

Enjoy your evening.

So the cop pulls me over

and I'm way over the limit.

I'm thinking, go straight to jail.

But no!

Pascale, I'm not sure the Mayor wants to know.

Chill out!

My wife's half-sister who's half cut.

My sister-in-law.

The new menu, any thoughts?

Mouth-watering, perhaps a tad classical.

But people like things to be classical.

Absolutely. Classical.

The aperitifs are on me. If I may...

You may!

A shot of pear brandy.

A shot of pear straight up. No ice, naturally.

Reminds me, aren't you forgetting

something very important happening tonight?

My sister's birthday.

No, I didn't forget my wife's birthday. Today is the 11th.

You are so right, today is the 11th.

Today's the 11th.

All together!

Shove your fake party!

What's the problem?

The Mayor, Mrs. Duval, those folks aren't my friends.

They're people you suck up to.

"Always a table for you at Maison Epicure. Always a table!"

- You're not happy they came? - Sure, but you're happier!

What would you prefer?

For my husband to take me out for once,

get me drunk,

so drunk I stagger to the car. He throws me down,

strips me, makes love to me for once and maybe,

on my birthday,

we make a baby!

This star issue is messing with my head.

You want the star too?

I don't know anymore.

I want both.

Can't we have both? A baby with a star overhead?

For sure.

So you need to spend time with me.

Look...

Tonight's short notice but tomorrow, I promise,

we make love.

Let me just do the market

and fix the automatic sprinklers.

You're beautiful.

The terrace. Shit!

- Thanks. - It's drier in here.

My regards to Mr. Duval.

Of course, Francois.

See you soon.

See you again! Goodbye!

Not far now. I recognize this.

Melrose Place Restaurant.

Melrose Place?

Never heard of it.

It's near here, I'm sure.

On the right, coming up.

There's only one, can't miss it.

What the hell!

Which idiot put a stupid step here?

Mozart's classical and it's great.

Right, Mamed?

Just needs your jelly.

You can't stay, sir.

You're hurt? Something wrong?

Very wrong.

Pour me a stiff drink.

Has it been open here long?

9 years. 10, counting renovation.

For the police, please hold.

I suggest Chabasse, a cognac that's pleasant in the mouth,

with notes of walnut and licorice,

and a pretty color that...

Who's the boss here now?

lam.

You're the boss too? I see.

Yes, why?

Police, how can I help?

Sit down.

Yes, sir.

This was Melrose Place before, right?

I demolished it. Too ugly.

- You knew it? - You could say.

I heard they specialized in frozen food and cockroaches.

A fast food and burger joint.

Did I mention it's 67 euros a pop?

The former owners? What happened to them?

The guy died in the 2004 tsunami.

A horrible end.

And his wife?

Mine now.

Francois, who are you talking to?

A customer, my prune.

Prune? Your wife's name?

No, her name's Charlotte.

A customer?

There she is.

Shit!

Charlotte!

- Well? - Gradually recovering.

She asked for her husband.

That's me.

No, it's me.

It is me!

No, it's me.

It's me.

Charlotte...

It's really you?

You're alive?

Where have you been for 11 years?

After our last fight,

I felt guilty.

Very guilty

about hurting you so bad.

I needed to take off and reassess.

As far away as possible. In Thailand.

Thailand? There's farther away.

Sure, I just took the first flight.

Much farther than Thailand.

The Philippines.

Then, a twist of fate...

Almost on arrival, I saw death.

The tsunami.

The sea retreating...

The silence.

Then a giant wave coming straight at you,

swallowing you up.

You had to see it to believe it. Horrifying.

After the catastrophe, I spent 6 months in a coma.

- They said you were dead. - Almost.

No passport, no memory, no identity.

Nothing.

- Horrible. - Yeah.

How did you recover your memory?

Along time after...

Avery long time.

It just came back one day.

I thought, I can't go home empty-handed.

I'll give her a better life.

I took any work and little by little,

I became rich.

Very rich.

That's great. You have money?

Often, with a tsunami, people go under.

Francois!

Can't I even crack a joke?

Sure.

Except I've nothing left. 2008...

20087?

Earthquake?

No, the recession.

Fucking Supremes.

Subprimes.

I bust my compass, Charlotte. I'm sorry.

I'm here.

I'm here too.

- Can I have a word? - No.

I mean, yes but...

A major shock?

Somebody comes back from the dead before your eyes. Traumatic.

What do I do?

Take good care of your wife.

She's here but not all there.

Her past's invading her present.

Temporally, Charlotte's away.

She's way away.

So what do I do?

Your wife won't bear her husband leaving again.

Relapse, re-shock, re-sirens. "Hello, Dr. Bonnaire."

So let's take it nice and easy, okay?

Let her take it easy, with Alex around, until she recovers.

Meantime, I put her on anti-depressants.

Right.

Damn!

How long?

Relax, chill, or this won't work out well.

You think it's started out well?

He's a lot older than you.

And gotta be on steroids.

He's not on steroids, he's virile.

- I say steroids. - What did you expect?

For him to be dead.

I don't feel good.

No, sweetie, it's great that he's alive. I'm glad.

Roids or not.

Thanks.

We'll put you in a suite.

No, the Luxury Garden isn't ready.

The poor guy.

After all he's been through.

Sorry, you're right.

Of course, little apricot.

It's empty off season.

Francois, you seem tense.

Relax, we're practically family.

That's true. Alex is practically family.

Absolutely. Or even...

Buddies, Alexandre.

Definitely. But call me Alex.

How about we show you around?

Sounds great, Frankie.

Not Frankie, Francois.

Alright.

Careful of my roses with your bag.

So here...

I cleared everything. 15 grand.

Terrace. 55 grand.

Dock. 82 grand.

And that is where I'll build

a landing pad for helicopters.

Where's my shed?

- You demolished my shed? - Blew it up.

What the hell is this?

Our organic vegetable patch. Experimental.

For heirloom vegetables.

Check it out.

Look.

My command center.

Hygrometry, soil pH, sprinklers.

I can make it drizzle if you want.

- Wanna see? - No.

Domotics.

They're summer rentals but you're not staying long.

Hello.

Chef, we're waiting for you.

Brice has started on the cold appetizers.

Go ahead. I'll finish up,

won't take a minute.

By the way...

We live upstairs. You got a problem, I'm right here.

Anytime.

Alright.

Ages since anyone was so hice to me.

I'm touched.

You're more beautiful than ever.

Keep it clean. You may have noticed, Francois is a neat freak.

You still have your tattoo?

What are you doing?

- Spying on me? - Not at all.

Keeping an eye out. I know you, Cha-Cha.

And I know stud boy. You're getting it back on?

No way, don't be silly.

No way.

I know this situation can't be easy for you.

I want you to feel well.

I know. It'll be fine.

All this is a bit weird, but it'll be fine.

So we're good.

It was another life.

My first love or not, he's no threat to you.

It was a whole other life, honestly.

Sure, we had fun but he was totally unreliable.

Even on our wedding day, he kept me waiting.

Can you imagine, hanging outside a church like the idiot bride?

Where was he?

I've no idea. I never knew where he was.

When the officials came to repossess the restaurant,

he'd vanished.

I won't go through that again, come hell or high water.

I love you.

I love you too.

I do.

Fountain of crispy salmon, Maison Epicure style,

with lemon emulsion.

Think it'll fly?

Emilie?

Like a Nordik roll at Planet Sushi.

Bullshit. Scram!

Brice!

What do you think?

What's the word for it?

Forget it.

Mamed!

- Michelin or not Michelin? - Let's see.

It needs a sweet-and-sour touch.

Otherwise, it verges on the classical.

That's the word I was looking for. Classical.

We agree?

Classical?

French cuisine is classical.

Yes, chef.

What? Got a problem?

No, nothing. Speck in my eye.

Alex, dinner at 6:45.

6:45? Like old folks?

Spare me the accident shit.

Okay, I lose my wife, my restaurant,

what do I do?

The restaurant's still yours.

- Still mine? - Legally, it's still yours.

Legally? What does legally mean?

Emilie!

What the hell is this?

Francois! Bet on me for the win!

Francois isn't betting. He's telling you this is no waterpark.

In case you forgot,

that's a restaurant with tables and chairs!

And hungry people! So back to work!

Get those hamsters out of their bubbles!

As for you, Pascale, answer the phone, if you don't mind.

And even if you do, okay?

Wrong color, your sauce. Reduce it!

The zucchini! You won't hurt them!

What accompanies the veal?

I dunno, rocks and grass.

Look in the pool for the answer!

Wanna marry the zucchini?

- I'm doing my best. - This is the best.

Careful, chef.

You want safe? Be a postman.

Take over...

Faster!

Take it easy, chef.

What you doing?

Pasta. Won't take long.

Nobody comes in my kitchen!

- Who screamed? - Get back out there.

It'll be okay.

Cauterize the wound.

Sorry, Alexandre, can you beat it, please?

Jeez, that feels so good.

You growing some spine?

It's a scratch!

There's no blood. Look at me.

I do what I want in my kitchen. Screw you!

- Why are you yelling? - Get him out!

- Go now! - No.

- No? - Legally, it's my kitchen.

We're talking "legally" now?

My lawyer says I own the place.

He lawyered up!

We don't need lawyers.

Charlotte, I've lost you. I won't lose the restaurant too.

We're losing him.

Brice! Hang in there, buddy!

A doctor!

Mouth to mouth!

Gentlemen...

It's a rather curious case, starting with your marital statuses.

Francois Desmoulin, you are considered the putative spouse.

Putative?

Since Alexandre Scali is alive, your civil union is null and void.

You're kidding?

As for the reason we're here today,

Alexandre Scali's petition for control of Maison Epicure

is dismissed.

- You're kidding? - Justice.

However, Frangois Desmoulin

will pay Alexandre Scali

I'm cramping up!

How convenient!

To cheat me out of the vest.

That's dangerous.

- Keep calm! - Gonna drown!

- Put it back on. - Dying!

- Dying. - You're not gonna die!

Nobody's gonna die.

Hold on...

- Morons! - Stop!

Idiot put that there?

C'mon, let's get warmed up.

Aren't you hungry?

For pasta and truffles.

Seriously?

With a dash of balsamic.

Sorry about your garden.

No worries, they're only vegetables.

They'll grow again.

Know what? I never ate so well as here.

I see why Charlotte chose you.

I'm not much fun to live with.

I was with her for 15 years.

I bet she prefers pasta and truffles to my shit.

To you.

To you!

5 hours ago, we were castaways!

Let's enjoy it.

Let's just enjoy it!

To our enjoyment!

You're kidding me!

Looks like we might get along.

Shit!

We can't be buddies, no way.

Not that.

No way.

We need a drink!

You...

You saved my life.

You and me, buddies for life.

And death!

I am deeply touched.

Gonna cry.

Before we seal our friendship forever,

I need to know something.

Promise me,

you haven't slept with Charlotte since you got back.

Come off it.

How can you even ask?

Especially now, I mean.

Buddies for life, you said.

You think I...

I'd do that to a friend?

Look at me.

You know why I couldn't?

Because this makes you and me...

rock solid.

Thanks.

Thanks, Alex.

- Full house, queens over aces. - Same here.

I dunno, I got aces.

Four aces! Francois, you win!

- 1 won? - Beginner's luck!

Lucky at cards, unlucky in love.

I love it!

I love this game!

Pathetic!

Easy, Frankie.

Who would've thought I'd plant veg in my shed one day?

- After all I planted here. - While with Charlotte?

My design flaw is I'm unfaithful.

She never complained?

Whenever she suspected, I denied it.

You know, it's not so hard.

Look people in the eye

and try to sound solemn,

with your hands in prayer, people believe you.

Look...

Don't answer. I's an example.

You know...

The tsunami...

I wasn't there.

Damn!

See? It's...

So when you hold your hands in prayer...

- You're lying? - Yeah, but not with buddies.

- Amazing. - There are principles, rules.

That's the big difference, right?

Say, we paid 1,400 euros to Angélus.

The cellar and register are empty.

What happened?

You two are pissing me off.

Seriously!

Don't smell them, breathe them in.

Hey, Alex!

Hi, beauty!

Those eyes!

For you.

That's so sweet. They're beautiful.

There, my number.

That's for the restaurant.

How do you do it?

I dunno.

Do you know Mrs. Duval?

Yeah.

You ever...

Ever what?

Ever bone her?

Sure.

Damn.

Why, damn?

Her husband works for Michelin and I can't hook her.

See, you could...

A helping hand.

You're not asking me to bang Mama Duval for your business?

Forget it.

Just kidding, Francois.

It's as good as done.

- Really? - You'll see.

- You mean you'll... - Sure.

Maybe you could help carry the icebox.

I hate camping.

Wrong.

A great evening. Nothing but compliments on my turbot.

Something wrong, honey?

Everything's just great.

Go to bed. I have work to do.

Pascale, here look...

I can't read your writing.

It's crystal clear.

If it was, I wouldn't ask.

What's going on? Francois and Alex stressing you out?

No, yes. Two big kids. It's ridiculous.

The ridiculous part is you being jealous

when you played the field.

You better not mess up again.

Why d'you say that?

You reek of hanky-panky.

You think I didn't see you on the beach?

Falling for your chick-baiter all over again.

Shut up!

Look at you, a complete alcoholic.

Will you ever let me live my life?

40 years I've put up with you!

He's winning big.

I know you.

Where from?

I'm happy for you.

Are you sure?

Absolutely sure.

Here...

Listen to the heartbeat.

Hear that?

Yes.

Pascale, I left a note for Charlotte.

Where's Francois?

I keep calling, he won't answer.

Go away. I'm sick, cold turkey.

What's wrong now?

- Cha-Cha? - Pass-Pass, I messed up.

Booty call with the Gipsy?

What then?

I'm pregnant.

That's awesome!

I'm so happy. You longed for a child.

Trouble is, Francois is sterile.

What?

So it's not a bit Francois's kid.

Not a bit.

It's the chick-baiter's?

I need you, Pascale.

It's the chance of a lifetime.

Without kids, you and Francois are history. It's over!

I have to tell him!

Tell him? Are you out of your mind?

Don't tell him or the greaseball.

I can't hide it from him.

Hold your tongue! A prig like Francois, if he finds out,

he'll bail on you.

The little shrimp!

I'm gonna be an auntie!

Let's celebrate, come on!

I gotta tell Chang. The idiot proposed to me.

You girls seen Francois? I wanna tell him the good news.

- You know? - Of course, I know.

Mrs. Duval told me her husband

will be in tonight. He needs to know.

He blew.

He blew?

He got into his car and drove off.

- Where? - I dunno.

You're no use!

Shit!

What now?

He left a note for you. I forgot about it.

What is this?

You remind me of your father.

Put away the hangdog expression. You'll get her back.

My baby.

Don't abandon my eggs, will you? Please!

Fuck!

Holy shit!

You jerk! Why?

Because!

- Stings, huh? - You bet it stings.

It serves you right.

Mom, please, let us talk.

My oh my! Honestly!

I know what I did was wrong but...

Charlotte was my wife, too, once.

- Changes things, right? - You douchebag.

I understand why you think that.

I dodged a bullet...

No! Cut it out, your hands in prayer.

Anyway, I kept my word.

I banged Mama Duval.

Her cuck hubby is in tonight.

- Shit. - Yeah.

Duval? The stars?

Fast!

Sorry, I never meant to hurt you.

I screwed up but...

I don't know why.

It's my fault.

I love you. I don't want to lose you.

I don't want to lose you either.

That's all?

Chef, you weren't here this morning.

What's in the fridge?

- Fillet of beef. - Lobster.

- Truffles. - Parmesan.

Tartare?

Boring. Way too classical, honey.

You're right. Classical sucks.

An idea?

Chop chop, an idea!

Ridiculous!

Tartare?

An idea...

Got it!

Shit, lost it.

I've got an idea.

But you won't like it.

I taught him all he knows.

No more shit about classical after this.

Aprons on. Showtime!

Okay? Don't drop the tray.

No problem.

Swing it with Duval.

Leave it to me. Buddies for life and the time is now.

You look superb.

Break a leg.

Duval's the bald guy.

Burger surf and turf,

heirloom vegetables and salad

and truffle jelly.

Congratulations, chef.

Tonight was spectacular.

Thanks, Mamed.

Goodnight, chef.

I'm proud of you.

I have to tell you...

You know...

I love you.

I want a baby, too.

More than anything.

Let's make one tonight.

Hold on.

There we go.

Look!

An email for you.

Dear Mr. Desmoulin,

On Tuesday, March 2, you are invited to the Michelin Guide launch.

A press conference will be held at the Foreign Ministry.

For the occasion, you...

You what?

I got the star.

You did it!

My love.

There you are, at last.

When?

Closed, sir.

Unless you help clean up.

Police.

Heard of him?

Search the place!

Where is Alex?

- Looks like he bailed. - What?

It's just that I'm a chef.

Jog your memory?

There's an international arrest warrant out for him.

Alexandre Scali suffered brain damage, total amnesia.

He was the victim of a tsunami.

I don't think so. He never moved from Bangkok.

When the tsunami hit,

he passed himself off as dead.

Shit!

Honey!

Deep breaths! Like they taught you!

So, how's our little Monica?

Marvelous! Just like your crawfish.

Have a good day.

- The greens are on the house. - Thank you.

See you all at the baptism, I hope.

Of course, the whole family!

Dr. Leduc, how are you?

Congratulations. It's great to see a happy father.

Thanks, doctor.

I'm so pleased for you. After the results of your tests,

you reacted very well.

Sterility often destroys a couple

one day or another.

My regards to Charlotte.

- See you soon. - Sure.

Great timing.

Little kitten.

I'll be right back.

Thanks for trying,

but if you're scared, you're no help.

I'm not scared, you stress me out.

I'm this far from hitting the bottle.

See that? Auntie Pass-Pass, what a pain!

You love being in Daddy's arms, don't you?

The best Daddy in the world.

Can you dress her, please?

You're sad?

I'm sad, too.

Daddy's sad.

Before I disappear for good,

seeing as I need to lie low again,

I wanted to apologize for risking screwing up your life and Charlotte's.

For lying to you to take the restaurant and your wife back.

I'm sorry.

Come aboard.

Without you, no star.

Without you, I'd have lost Charlotte forever.

Not to mention the rest.

Come on...

Step aboard.

Share it?

Sure.

I don't have a corkscrew.

Too bad.

I don't know, I've no idea.

- Well? - The godfather is here.

This is Mandarine.

Just kidding.

It's Monica.

Pascale's her godmother. Not my choice.

Poor kid, terrible start.

Screw you, says the godmother.

Not that.

Let's go.

Looks like you.

I baptize you

in the name of the Father, Son

and Holy Spirit.

3 stars later...

Christophe, the cart keys, please.

Enjoy your stay.

Three aces!

Again?

- You took 50 euros off Daddy's desk? - No.

What are you doing?

Playing poker, Daddy. Wanna play?

Monica wins every time. It's no fun!

- I'm sure she cheats. - Just a bit.

Listen, Daddy, as your only daughter,

I swear I didn't cheat.

- What are you doing? - Hide it!

Playing Monopoly? Who's winning?

- lam. - Naturally.

Of course.

Crazy, she looks more like me every day.

I love kids. Let's have another.

Don't you think?

Subtitles: Simon John

Subtitling: Monal Group