All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S03E10.Dennis.Is.a.Genius.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

- Hi Mom!

Hi Dad!

- Dennis, don't slam the--

[slam]

- I bet you can't
guess what this is.

- It looks like an
old cabinet shelf.

- Nope.

- I'll bet it's the
bottom of a scooter.

- Nope.

You're both wrong.

It's a diving board
for our bath tub.

[theme music]

- And that is the result.

- But Ms. Perkins, there
must be some mistake.

- There can't be, Mrs. Mitchell.

The intelligence
tests were given

to every child in
his class, and they

were graded
electronically, by machine.

- But Dennis, a genius?

I can't believe it.

- I must admit, I was a
little surprised myself.

- But it still seems to me that
if Dennis really were a genius,

someone would have discovered
it long before this.

- Not necessarily, Mrs. Mitchell.

Unfortunately under our
system of education,

the abilities of
exceptional children,

particularly the
young ones, often

go unnoticed far too long.

- Well, I don't suppose we
should be too surprised.

We-- we've always
known Dennis had

a genius for certain things,
such as getting into trouble.

- All I could hear
was the word trouble.

- You're in for it this
time, Dennis Mitchell.

- What are you gonna do, Dennis?

Run away from home?

- Jeepers, I don't know.

- I ran away once and
had a swell time.

- Yeah?

Where'd you run
away to, Seymour?

- Our pantry.

Hey, what's the big idea?

- Girls never get in trouble.

- They don't have to, Margaret.

Just being a girl's
about the worst trouble

that could happen to anybody.

- Is that so?

- My mom wanted a baby girl
but I wanted a cocker spaniel.

- What'd you get, Seymour?

- A dumb little baby sister
who can't even sit up.

- That's the trouble
with parents.

They always get what they want.

- Boy, look at them
sitting there.

They sure look
serious, don't they.

- Well, I must be running along.

I just wanted you to know what
an exceptional child you have.

- Well, that's very thoughtful
of you, Ms. Perkins.

- But Ms. Perkins, there's still
one thing I don't understand.

If Dennis is such a
genius, why does he

have so much trouble
with his homework?

- Well, I'm afraid a
child with Dennis' IQ

simply doesn't find his
homework challenging enough.

- That may be, but
some of his homework

certainly gives me a bad time.

- Bye.

- Bye, Ms. Perkins.

And thank you.

- Well, I'll be dog gone.

Dennis, a genius.

- Well, children grow and change.

Oh, but Henry, we
must be very careful

not to let this go to his head.

Oh, you're absolutely
right, dear.

- I didn't do it.

I didn't do it!

- Didn't do what?

- Whatever Ms.
Perkins said I did.

I wasn't even in
school that day.

- Dennis, do you remember
that intelligence

test you took at
school last week?

- I sure do.

They said you couldn't
flunk that test no matter

how dumb you were.

- You didn't fail it, dear.

In fact, you got almost
the highest grade possible.

- Jeepers, I did?

I must be pretty smart, huh.

- Now, don't go
getting cocky on me

just because you
got a genius score.

- Genius?

Is that good, dad?

- Henry Mitchell.

Me and my big mouth.

- You mean I'm smart
like Einstein?

- Well, according to the
test, I-- I guess so.

- I'm a living genius.

Hey everybody, I'm a genius.

I'm a genius!

- You.

- Hey everybody, I'm a genius.

I'm a living genius.

Dennis Mitchell, you're
making the whole thing up.

- I am not.

That's why Ms.
Perkins came over.

- Wowie.

Gee whiz.

Dennis is a genius.

What's a genius?

- It means I'm chock full of
brains I never even knew,

Seymour.

- Geez.

- Jeepers, Tommy.

Now I don't feel so bad
about losing that bubble gum?

- What?
What bubblegum?

- That bubblegum I left stuck to
that old test paper my mistake

but I turned it in.

Hey, what you doing, Margaret?

- He could be a
genius, all right.

His head's shaped oddly enough.

- I told you I was.

- I never seen a
real genius before.

- Me neither.

- My goodness gracious.

- You know something?

My head doesn't feel
any different at all.

Come on, gang.

Let's play a game of catch.

What you waitin' for, Tommy?

- Um, no thanks, Dennis.

I think I better
be getting home.

- How about you, Seymour?

- No thanks.

I gotta run home and tell my
baby sister I know a genius.

- Come on, Margaret.

I've got no other choice.

- Well, uh, no thank you, Dennis.

I really must be running along.

- Jeepers.

Hi, Fremont!

I bet you don't mind
playing catch with a genius.

- I've got it, honey.

We can enter him in a quiz
contest and then I can retire.

- Oh Henry, I just
can't get over it.

- Well, we're just going to have
to accept the fact that we're

the parents of a genius.

[knocking]

- Oh, Mr. Wilson.

Come on in.

- Mitchell.

I just hate to complain about
Dennis, but this morning, I--

- Mr. Wilson, have you heard?

- Oh, hello Alice.

Have I heard what?

- Well, about Dennis.

It seems he's
something of a genius.

- Oh?

What kind of trouble
is he in this time?

- No, he a-- he achieved the
highest mark of any child

his age in an intelligence test.

- Oh?

What did he do, take
the kindergarten test?

- But it's true, Mr. Wilson.

Ms. Perkins, his
teacher, was just here

and she gave us
the exciting news.

- He-- A-- You mean he--
I-- Oh, no, Mitchell.

It isn't true.

- Absolutely.

- Great Scott.

Dennis, a genius.

- Are you all right, Mr. Wilson?

- Uh.

Well-- Well, I could use
a glass of water, Alice.

- Of course.

- I can't believe it.

A-- A genius.

A gen-- You mean
that boy is-- is

more intelligent
than you or even I?

- And practically anyone
else you could name

- Oh great Scott.

- Here you are, Mr. Wilson.

- Dennis.

A genius.

- Mr. Wilson.

He certainly was
surprised, wasn't he?

- He certainly was.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson!

- Oh, hello Dennis.

- You hear about all those
brains nobody ever knew I had?

- Yes I-- I heard.

- You short of water at
your place, Mr. Wilson?

- I can't believe it.

I simply can't believe it.

- Are you feeling all
right, Mr. Wilson?

- Oh, I feel just fine, Dennis.

Yes, just fine.

I-- Uh-- Oh, Martha.

Oh Martha!

- Thank you Mrs. Mitchell.

I'd like to thank
you both for letting

me come over on
such a short notice.

- Oh, it's our
pleasure, Dr. Heydon.

- It isn't every day that
we have an authority

on child education come
to interview our son.

Cream?

- Oh yes, thank you.
- Dennis.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Coming!

- Son, this is Dr. Heydno.

He'd like to ask
you a few questions.

- About my new brains?

- That's correct, young man.

Come.

Sit down here by me.

Now, to start with,
something simple.

Here's a picture of a house.

Tell me, what's wrong here?

- There's no television antenna.
- Yes.

But aside from that, what's
wrong with the picture?

- Well, the shadow of
this tree goes this way

and the shadow of that
three does that way.

- Perfectly right.

Now.

We have here a diagram.

Now, only one of these
three holes in this wall

leads through a
maze of passageways

to this piece of cheese
at the other end.

Now, if you were a smart mouse,
which of these three holes

would you go through?

- The one that's too
small for the cat.

- The answer is
perfectly correct.

- It is?

- Yes.

You see, only this third
whole, which is the smallest,

would lead the mouse to his
objective at the other end.

Your son's subconscious grasped
the situation immediately.

- Jeepers.

I guess that makes me a whole
lot smarter than most mouses,

doesn't it?

- I guess it does, dear.

- Now, we have here
a little puzzle.

When I say go,
let's see how long

it takes you to
put them together.

Now get ready, get set--

- You mean like this?

- Amazing.
- Jeepers.

I got a tougher
puzzle than this free

with a box of sticky candy.

- His subconscious again?
- Precisely.

But I assure you,
all puzzles would

be equally simple
for this child.

- Do you want me to show you how
to do anything else, doctor?

- No, I don't think that'll
be necessary, young man.

- Can I go upstairs now, Mom?

I've got a submarine in
trouble in the bathtub.

- Of course dear.

- Bye.

- Amazing.

You both must be
very proud of him.

- Oh, we are.

We're still trying to
figure out which one of us

he got his brains
from, though, doctor.

- Quite possibly neither of you.

- That's some consolation.

- Yes.

You see, it's our experience
that children of genius

unfortunately are very often
the offspring of parents

of, shall we say,
normal intelligence?

- What's unfortunate about it?

- Well, perhaps unfortunate
was a poor choice of words.

Excuse me.

Tell me, does he ever act bored?

- Oh, never.

Oh, perhaps occasionally
on rainy days.

- Why should he
act bored, doctor?

- Well, if I may use the
word unfortunately again,

boredom is often the plight
of the gifted child who

needs to be surrounded by minds
of his own intelligence level.

To go to school with
equally superior children.

To live in a more mentally
stimulating atmosphere.

- But Dennis is an extremely
happy, well adjusted child.

- Happy?

Perhaps.

But is he perhaps not
stagnated in this environment?

Surrounded by his well
meaning loved ones?

Good night, Mrs. Mitchell.
Mr. Mitchell.

- Good night, doctor.

- Oh, and, um, thank you, again.

- Stagnating in this environment?

The idea!

- Oh now, honey, that
was just his way

of trying to tell us that--
why, that egghead was trying

to tell us that we're too stupid
to be around our own child.

- George Wilson.

It's almost midnight.

- Well, as a matter
of fact, Martha,

I am so upset by all this fuss
about Dennis being a genius,

I doubt if I'll
sleep a wink, anyway.

- George, really.

Put out the light
and go to sleep.

- Oh, all right, Martha.

All right.

But I'm warning you right now,
I probably won't sleep a wink.

- Yes, dear.

- Not a wink.

Good morning, teacher.

- Quiet, fatso!

- Bonjour, class.

- Bonjour, professor.

- Will the new boy please
stand up and tell us his name?

- Yes, teacher.

It's Georgie Wilson.

- Very nice to meet you, Georgie.

You may sit down.

Now, before we begin
today's lessons,

for the benefit of
our new student,

I would like to mention that all
questions asked are carefully

selected the basis
of each student's

individual intelligence.

Margaret, would you please
read the first paragraph,

page 26 of your reader?

[speaking foreign language]

- Tommy?

Will you please read
the first paragraph,

page 26 of your reader?

[speaking foreign language]

- Excellente'.

Georgie, turn to page
26 of your reader.

- The boy ran fast.

The dog ran fast.

The bat ran fast.

- The word is cat.

- Well, I did get
two out of three.

[foreign language]

Sit down, Georgie.

Now, for today's
mathematics problem.

You have two seconds.

Tommy?

- Xy to the fourth power
plus x to the third power,

y to the fifth power minus
x to the second power,

y to the fourth power z.

- Very good, Tommy.

Now Georgie, will
you please stand up?

Now, here's your problem.

If you have 12 marbles, and
I gave you four marbles,

how many would you now have?

Well?

- Would you mind
repeating the question?

- Never mind.

It appears that Georgie
has lost his marbles.

Come up here, Georgie.

- Yes, teacher.

- Bend over.

That's what you have
earned, Georgie.

Come over here.

Up here.

And please, try not to fall off.

- I won't fall off.

I won't fall of!

I-- I promise.

I won't fall.

I won't fall.

I-- ow!

- George, are you all right?

- Great Scott.

- Martha, now do you
see what happens

when a little boy
becomes a genius?

- Hi, honey.
- Hello, dear.

You're home early.

- Yeah.

I've been doing
some investigating.

- Well, you old private eye, you.

What sort of investigating?

- Colleges.

The rate Dennis is going, he'll
need it before we know it.

- I've been doing a little
investigating myself.

- Oh?

- The Wilton School
for Gifted Children.

French?

Painting?

Valet?

- Well, dear, Doctor
Heydon did say--

- I don't care what
that egghead said.

Our son is doing perfectly
fine in public school,

and that's what he's gonna--

- Dennis!

Come in here this minute.

- Yes, Mom?

- What In the world happened?

- Oh, you mean this?

- Yes, I mean this.

- Well--

- Come on son, tell
us what happened.

- You promise you won't get mad?

- Course not.

- Well, a new kid moved
into the neighborhood,

and he said all geniuses
were sissies, so I git him.

- Dennis, you'd better go
on upstairs and wash up.

Change your shirt too.

- Yes mom.

- There.

And that's another
good reason why

he should be among
children like himself.

- Alice, my mind is made up.

No private schools.

- Oh, your mind is made up.

- Every fellow down at the
office agreed with me.

There's no point in sending--

- Oh, you've been talking
this over with the fellows

at the office?

- Well, what's wrong
with getting a

little good, unemotional advice?

- Unemotional advice?

All I want to do is send our
son to a nearby private school

where he won't be beaten
up for being smart,

and you're sending him
off to college already.

- Alice, there's a time to
be facetious and a time to--

- And that's not all.

I heard mom and dad
talking about sending me

to a special brain school.

- Geez.

- I'm glad I'm not
a not a genius.

- Poor, poor Dennis.

I've heard that geniuses
usually lead tragic lives

with simply horrible endings.

- I'd give anything
to be just me again.

Then maybe I wouldn't have
to leave home and go away

to school.

- Oh, my poor baby.

- Now, Alice.

- Oh, Henry.

I was so proud when we
heard Dennis was a genius,

and now everything's gone wrong.

- There, there dear.

- Nobody seems to know
what's best for him.

He's not happy.

We're fighting.

Nothing will ever
be the same again.

- Of course it will, honey.

- Yesterday, he was such a
happy, carefree little boy.

But today-- Today he's a genius.

- Please, darling.

Here.

It's OK.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

- This is Miss
Perkins, Mr. Mitchell.

I don't quite know
how to tell you this,

but Dennis' test score
was all a mistake.

- A mistake?

I-- I don't understand.

- Well, it seems there
was a gummy substance

on the back of
Dennis' test paper,

and it threw the electronic
grading machine completely off.

- Something like bubble gum?

Oh.

- Nothing like this has ever
happened before, mister--

- In other words,
Miss Perkins, Dennis

isn't a genius after all.

- I'm afraid not, Mr. Mitchell.

- Thank you for
calling, Miss Perkins.

Honey, it's all a mistake.

Dennis isn't a genius after all.

- Oh.
Oh.

Oh.
Henry.

- Hey, Mom, when are you
going to get me my glasses?

- Glasses?
What glasses?

- Dumb ol' Margaret
says all geniuses

are supposed to wear glasses.

- I see.

Well, son, your
worries are over.

- Over?

- Dear, Miss Perkins just
called, and it's all a mistake.

- Mistake?

You mean I'm not a genius?

- I'm afraid not.

- Not even a little genius?

- Not even a little genius.

- Hey everybody, I'm
a dumb head again!

I'm a dumb head again!

- Well.

- Oh, when is that
laundry going to stop

putting starch in
your handkerchiefs?

- And you know, Martha,
that's another thing.

Now that Dennis
knows he's a genius,

he'll be more
unbearable than ever.

There.

That's that.

Well, Martha, how does it look?

- Just fine, dear.

- Hey, Mr. Wilson!

Hey, Mr. Wilson.

I'm a dumb head again.

- Well Dennis, I don't care--
You-- What did you say?

- It's all a mistake.

Ms. Perkins says I'm
not a genius after all!

- All a mistake?

Martha, did you hear that?

- Yes dear, I heard.

- Now I gotta go find
the rest of the kids

and tell them the good news.

- Dennis!
The paint!

Oh good grief.

- Boy, you should see the
swell new color of paint

Mr. Wilson has on
his on screen door.

- What color is it, dear?

Dennis Mitchell,
you march yourself

right into that kitchen, and get
down the bottle of turpentine,

and get that off.

- Yes mom.

- Well, everything's
back to normal

in that dumb old
Mitchell family.

- Thank goodness.

[theme music]

- This has been a Screen
Gems film production

from the Hollywood studios
of Columbia Pictures.