Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,869 --> 00:00:03,435
- Mom, I'm home!
2
00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:09,008
- Dennis?
3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,244
Come back here!
4
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:13,812
Look at that rug.
5
00:00:13,813 --> 00:00:17,449
- Boy, it sure does show
the dirt, doesn't it, mom?
6
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:18,784
- Young man.
7
00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:21,787
What have I told you about
removing your muddy shoes
8
00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:23,188
before coming into this house?
9
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:24,189
- Jeepers, mom.
10
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,693
I did. these are my socks.
11
00:00:35,935 --> 00:00:37,904
[theme music]
12
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,534
- I told Mrs. Wilson we'd pick
her up about a quarter of.
13
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,736
- What reason did Mr. Wilson
give for not going to the school
14
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:11,937
tonight?
15
00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:13,305
- He's expecting a
long distance call
16
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:17,309
about some property
he owns in Ohio.
17
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,345
- I saw him up on this
roof this afternoon
18
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:22,715
fixing his antenna so that the
call would come through better.
19
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:23,916
- Oh Henry.
20
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,417
Now, I'm sure Mr.
Wilson would love
21
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:29,755
to come to see Dennis
in the play if he could.
22
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,724
- Honey, I've been thinking.
23
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,659
Why don't I drive all of
you over to the school,
24
00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,160
and then I think sneak
out and come back
25
00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:36,628
and watch a couple
rounds of the fight.
26
00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:38,364
Then I can get back to school
before anyone would even
27
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:40,165
know that I was going on.
28
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:41,100
- Henry Mitchell.
29
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,501
The idea.
30
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,670
Not wanting to see your
own son in his school play.
31
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,238
- Honey, that's not the idea.
32
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:48,774
It's just that, well, these
championship fights don't come
33
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:54,113
on television every night
and, well, I-- And--
34
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,147
- What's the matter, dear?
35
00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:57,116
Suddenly at a loss for words?
36
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,550
- Well, no.
37
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:00,853
It's just that I'm having
a little difficulty trying
38
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:05,424
to talk with my
foot in my mouth.
39
00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,092
- Hey mom!
40
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,595
Which moustache do
you like the best?
41
00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:16,435
This one or this one?
42
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,570
- Oh, I think I like
this one much better.
43
00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:19,838
- Me too.
44
00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:20,906
Be kind of embarrassing
to have the leading man
45
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:22,508
trip over his own moustache.
46
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:25,711
- Boy, wait 'til good old Miss
Gilbert sees me with this on.
47
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,179
- Miss Gilbert?
48
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:29,115
- She's directing our play.
TOMMY (OFFSCREEN): Dennis!
49
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:36,555
- Be right down, Tommy!
50
00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:37,556
Hey mom.
51
00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,224
While you're getting
dressed, I think
52
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:42,227
I'll show good old Mr.
Wilson my marshal outfit.
53
00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:43,463
- That's a good idea, Dennis.
54
00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:52,171
Jeepers, did you see that?
55
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:55,742
I'm getting so fast, I almost
beat myself to the draw.
56
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,115
- Henry, help me.
57
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,750
I'm stuck.
58
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,051
- Having trouble, honey?
59
00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:08,153
- Oh you.
60
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:09,656
- Now who's at a loss for words?
61
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,831
- Oh George, I do wish
you'd change your mind
62
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:19,966
and come with us.
63
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:21,200
You did promise
Dennis you'd watch
64
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,901
him star in his school play.
65
00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:24,303
- Now Martha.
66
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:26,538
How was I to know that the
championship fight would
67
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,441
be postponed from last night
to tonight because of rain?
68
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:31,677
- Well, I don't think
it's very nice of you.
69
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:32,711
- Oh.
70
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:33,746
- After all, you might enjoy it.
71
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,080
- Enjoy it?
72
00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:37,449
Martha, how could
anyone in his right mind
73
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:40,552
enjoy a play written by a
student in the fifth grade,
74
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,288
directed by a girl's gym
teacher in the fourth grade,
75
00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:47,960
and starting a juvenile blonde
bombshell in the third grade?
76
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,129
- Oh George.
77
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:56,002
[doorbell]
78
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:58,538
- Oh, uh, I'll get it, dear.
79
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:06,412
- Well, if it ain't my good
old partner, Mr. Wilson.
80
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,447
- Great Scott.
81
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,082
- It's me, Dennis!
82
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,117
- Well of course
it's you, Dennis.
83
00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:14,053
Who else could it be?
84
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,121
- Hi Mr. wilson.
85
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,391
- Bobby, never aim
a gun at someone
86
00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:22,294
unless you intend to shoot it.
- That's all right, Mr. Wilson.
87
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:25,464
Tommy's Slim Dalton,
a bad guy in the play.
88
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:28,400
He's supposed to go
around shooting people.
89
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:30,402
- That's me.
90
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,204
Draw, stranger.
91
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,173
- Now Tommy, stop that.
92
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,542
- Have you ever been
shot, Mr. Wilson?
93
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:39,078
- No, I have never
been shot, Mr. Wilson.
94
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,513
- Then why are you so gun shy?
95
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,816
- Well, because I'm a
careful coward, that's why.
96
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,985
Now, if you boys don't mind.
97
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,753
- My goodness, George.
98
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,755
Who are these Western gentlemen?
99
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:50,723
- Hi Mrs. Wilson.
100
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,091
It's us.
101
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,392
Me and Tommy.
102
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:54,827
- Well, who would
ever have guessed it?
103
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,764
- We don't look like the
real us, do we Mrs. Wilson?
104
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,500
- Indeed you don't, boys.
105
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:07,806
- Hey Mr. Wilson.
106
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,508
- Oh, are you still here, Dennis?
107
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:12,177
- Would you help Tommy
and me go over our lines?
108
00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:13,779
- That's a swell idea, Dennis.
109
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,581
- Oh, I'm sorry Dennis, but I--
110
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,483
- Just this one last time?
111
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,450
- Dennis.
112
00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:19,885
- Jeepers.
113
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:23,322
Wait'll you hear what a swell
actor Mr. Wilson is, Tommy.
114
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,123
- Oh.
115
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,758
You really think so, Dennis?
116
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:26,658
Oh well, all right.
117
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,260
For a minute or two.
118
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:31,230
I'm expecting an important long
distance phone call soon, and--
119
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,598
- Thanks, Mr. Wilson.
120
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:35,901
You can be Tommy's
brother, Shorty Dalton.
121
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,070
- That makes you and me twins.
122
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,072
- Oh, joy.
123
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,340
- Here Mr. Wilson.
124
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:47,479
- Oh, I don't think I'll
be needing that, Dennis.
125
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,948
marshal.
126
00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:53,218
You reckon on taking
us hombres in alive?
127
00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:55,487
You're plum loco.
128
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:56,990
Right Slim?
129
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,457
- Right Shorty.
130
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:02,594
- Dead or alive, a mangy
polecat's all the same to me.
131
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:06,632
- marshal, you try hog
tying us and you'll
132
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:10,803
be the sorriest, deadest
law man in these here parts.
133
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:11,570
Right, Slim?
134
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,539
- Right, Shorty.
135
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,741
- Gee you're a swell
actor Mr. Wilson.
136
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:17,042
- Oh.
137
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,510
Thank you, Tommy.
138
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:21,513
- Mr. Wilson used to be
a real famous actor,
139
00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:22,949
didn't you, Mr. Wilson?
140
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,617
- Well, I wouldn't go quite so
far as to say that, Dennis,
141
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:29,154
but I understand they're
still talking about my Hamlet
142
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:32,591
back at Minooka High
School to this very day.
143
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,127
- Gee.
- Yes.
144
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,364
Now, where were we?
145
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:39,932
Oh yes.
146
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,233
Slim.
147
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,102
On the count of three,
let's put this here
148
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,470
critter out of his misery.
149
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:45,537
Right Slim?
150
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:46,839
- Right, Shorty.
151
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:47,673
- One.
152
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:48,807
Two.
153
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:50,844
Goodbye, Marshal.
- Reach!
154
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,184
Put your hands up.
155
00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:03,556
Now, don't try any funny
156
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:12,031
Mighty fine day for a twin
hanging, ain't it, boys?
157
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,532
HENRY (OFFSCREEN): Dennis!
158
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,367
- Coming, dad!
159
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,702
Come on, Tommy.
160
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:17,736
- Well, that-- Uh.
161
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,738
Wait Tommy.
162
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:22,775
- They're-- They're stuck on my.
163
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,611
That's funny.
164
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,912
- Well, come on, Dennis.
165
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:28,914
- They never locked before.
166
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,049
- Well, they're locked now.
167
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,417
Use the key.
168
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:35,621
- OK.
169
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,622
- Well?
170
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,257
What are you waiting for?
171
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:42,327
- I just remembered, Mr.
Wilson, we don't have a key.
172
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:48,634
- Oh, you don't have the
key-- You don't have the key?
173
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,601
- Uh oh.
174
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:52,137
Now we're really twins.
175
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,341
- Oh good grief.
176
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:09,888
- Oh, it's no use Mr. Wilson.
177
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,724
This isn't even making a dent.
178
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,927
- Oh, this is awful.
179
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,027
Martha!
180
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,229
- Thank you, officer.
181
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,063
George.
182
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,531
They've located Sergeant Mooney.
183
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:20,432
He's on his way over.
184
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,800
- Oh, thank goodness.
185
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:22,901
- All right now, Martha.
186
00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:25,371
Get hold of Buzz, just in case.
187
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:26,905
- Yes dear.
188
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:28,607
- I just can't understand
Sergeant Mooney
189
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:31,810
not giving those boys a key when
he loaned them the handcuffs.
190
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,345
- He said we wouldn't need one.
191
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,914
Sergeant Mooney said
they were so old,
192
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:37,649
they wouldn't lock anyway.
193
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,785
- Oh the old windbag did, did he?
194
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:43,555
- Boy, is Herman
Snell gonna be mad.
195
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:45,424
- Who's Herman Snell?
196
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,925
- He's the kid that's
supposed to play
197
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,061
the part that Mr.
Wilson may have to play.
198
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,362
- Now, see here, Dennis.
199
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,097
If you think for one minute--
200
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:53,799
- Buzz doesn't answer.
201
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:54,968
- Fine.
202
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,970
One locksmith for
this whole town
203
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,605
and he's never around
when you need him.
204
00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:01,373
- Well, hello folks.
205
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,009
All right, where is
this desperate criminal?
206
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,678
- Hi, Sergeant Mooney.
207
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:06,845
- Hi Dennis.
208
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,847
Well, well George.
209
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:11,750
So society finally
caught up with you.
210
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:13,085
- Oh, Mooney.
211
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,486
Stop trying to be funny.
212
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,388
And just use the key.
213
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,723
- Heh heh.
214
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,425
Use the key.
215
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:22,561
- What's so funny
about using the key ?
216
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,930
- George.
217
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:28,500
Those handcuffs haven't
had a key since 1922.
218
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,936
- Oh dear.
219
00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:31,537
- Mooney.
220
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:34,707
As a taxpayer, I demand that you
do something, and do it fast.
221
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:37,443
- Aw, you do, do you?
222
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,946
- Sergeant, the children's
play begins in less than half
223
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:41,180
an hour.
224
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,748
- And Tommy's supposed
to be handcuffed
225
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,317
to his twin brother,
Shorty Dalton.
226
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:48,487
- Now, Mooney, what
do you say to that?
227
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:49,389
- Hiya, Shorty.
228
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,860
- Sergeant Mooney, don't
you have any suggestions?
229
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:57,563
- Well, we could call up Buzz.
230
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:58,965
- He's not home.
231
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,966
- Suppose I find him and tell
him to go over to the school
232
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:02,434
and meet you folks.
233
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,535
- That's an idea.
234
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:07,006
- Oh, well at last
we're-- Oh, the school?
235
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:08,374
No I can't.
236
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,643
Well, in less than 10
minutes, my-- my call
237
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:13,812
might come through.
238
00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:15,180
- Goodness dear.
239
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,582
In all the excitement,
I forgot to tell you.
240
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,550
The long distance
operator called before
241
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,819
and said your call
has been postponed
242
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,388
until tomorrow morning.
243
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:24,023
- Now Martha.
244
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,858
- Yes dear?
245
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:28,193
- Well, imagine that.
246
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,661
- Hey, Mr. Wilson.
247
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:31,997
When you get loose, you'll
be able to stay and watch
248
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:32,831
our play.
249
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:35,534
Isn't that swell?
250
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:36,835
- Yeah, swell.
251
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:37,836
- Oh yes.
252
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:39,538
That's just peachy dandy.
253
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:40,806
- Better get going.
254
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:41,840
I'll find Buzz.
255
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:43,175
Oh, by the way, Tommy.
256
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,245
If the prisoner tries
to get away, shoot him.
257
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:52,518
- Mr. Wilson!
258
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,286
Mr. Wilson!
259
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,288
Sergeant Mooney found him.
260
00:10:56,289 --> 00:11:00,225
Buzz is parked outside
and he's on his way.
261
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:02,127
- Thank you, thank you.
262
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,863
- He got himself locked in
his basement by mistake.
263
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,066
- Oh my.
264
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:12,071
Get me out of these
miserable things, Buzz.
265
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:14,073
- Well, they're locked.
266
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,508
- I know they're locked, man!
267
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,343
- Can't you hurry?
268
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,712
The show is about to begin.
269
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,413
- Anybody got a hair pin?
270
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,581
- A hair pin?
271
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,516
- You mean we're gonna
open it with a hair pin?
272
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,086
- Jeepers.
Did you hear that, Mr. Wilson?
273
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:29,555
- Well, seeing is
believing, Dennis.
274
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:30,856
- Oh, never mind.
275
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:31,724
It's unlocked.
276
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:34,560
- It is?
277
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:35,528
- My tool kit.
278
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,935
- Great Scott, what's that?
279
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,103
- No, no, Lester.
280
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:47,239
The overture is
on the other side.
281
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,208
Come on, children, there's
lots to be done yet.
282
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,709
Oh, put that bear
rug over there.
283
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,278
And you children get those
things on stage, all right?
284
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,514
Now then, if we could just--
Oh dear, Mr. Mitchell.
285
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,317
It's-- It's so hectic back here,
I'm afraid I must insist that
286
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,185
you, uh--
- Yes, uh, come on, girls.
287
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:01,720
We're just adding
to the confusion.
288
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,088
- Good luck, dear.
289
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:04,256
- Jeepers, mom.
290
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:07,192
You don't kiss
marshals in public.
291
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,495
- George, we'll save
a seat for you.
292
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:10,496
- Oh, don't bother.
293
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,164
If I ever get out
of these, Martha,
294
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:15,501
I'm going straight to the
hospital for a long rest.
295
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:16,468
- Miss Gilbert.
296
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,271
Are they-- Oh no.
297
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,740
This can't be happening
to me It can't!
298
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,075
It simply can't!
299
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,176
- Now dear, everything's
going to be fine.
300
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,712
Come on.
- That's Vera Phillips.
301
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,213
She's the author.
302
00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:30,916
- Vera's kinda nutty.
303
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:31,850
- Hey!
304
00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:33,185
- Stand still, Dennis.
305
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,087
I've got to age you.
306
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,790
- Can't you work faster, Buzz?
307
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,892
- Now, don't rush me, Mr. Wilson.
308
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,995
Every time I get
rushed, I get nervous.
309
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,463
And whenever I get
nervous, I get to itching.
310
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,266
And whenever I get to
itching, I gotta scratch.
311
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,902
Couple of weeks ago, a woman
just put me in the hospital
312
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:52,104
for almost a week.
313
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,873
Her husband was in the
same hospital, too.
314
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:56,208
He had the itch.
315
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:57,576
She made him so nervous--
316
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:58,177
- Oh, all right.
317
00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,378
Never mind, Buzz.
318
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,879
Just get on with your work.
319
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,317
Dennis, don't crowd him.
320
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:12,391
- Will you quit horsing around?
321
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,359
- Horsing around.
322
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,728
Ha ha ha!
323
00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:16,495
- Boys, boys.
324
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:17,062
No, this way.
325
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,497
Back this way.
326
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,498
Back by the window.
327
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,468
Quickly!
That's it.
328
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:33,746
[crying]
329
00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:35,147
- Who's that?
330
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,983
- That's Herman Snell.
331
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,251
- He's the real Shorty Dalton.
332
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,790
- Well, I'm going to be
able to open them OK.
333
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,225
- That's a relief.
334
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,260
- Buzz can open anything.
335
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,763
Miss Gilbert, Buzz is
gonna open the handcuffs.
336
00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:52,097
- Well, good.
337
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:54,700
- Now all I have to do
is to run home and make
338
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,568
a key from that wax impression.
339
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:57,536
- Run home?
340
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:58,537
- Oh, but you can't.
341
00:13:58,538 --> 00:13:59,605
There isn't time.
342
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:00,272
- I'm sorry.
343
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,206
That's the only way.
344
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,841
- Well, all right.
345
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,043
Get up and do it.
346
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:04,810
Go!
347
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,512
Don't hang around.
348
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:09,815
Oh, Miss Gilbert, you'll just
have to hold that curtain.
349
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,150
- Hold the curtain?
350
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,719
With the superintendent
of schools out there?
351
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,724
And to think I could
have been a librarian.
352
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,261
- Would you like another
glass of water, Miss Gilbert?
353
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:13,579
[BASEBALL GAME PLAYING OVER
RADIO]
354
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,914
MALE SPEAKER (ON RADIO):
sticks out his own left hook,
355
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,485
which Fuller catches on his own.
356
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:25,124
- Miss Gilbert, I tell you,
this whole idea is ridiculous.
357
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,893
- Mr. Wilson, we may
have no alternative.
358
00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:29,395
- Now wait a minute.
359
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,730
I have no intention of
going out on that stage
360
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,499
and making a fool of myself.
361
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,802
- Mr. Wilson, unless that
locksmith returns very soon,
362
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:37,637
you have no choice.
363
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:45,844
- Jeepers, Tommy.
364
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:48,113
You should see all the people.
365
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:51,083
- Can you see my folks?
366
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:53,520
Can you see my folks, Dennis?
367
00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,391
- Yeah, Tommy.
368
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,626
Right in front.
369
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,128
Your dad keeps trying
to get up, and your mom
370
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:04,730
keeps jerking him back down.
371
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,399
- That's my pop, OK.
372
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,936
- What can be taking
Buzz so long?
373
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:11,870
- Maybe he got hungry.
374
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,238
- OK, come along, children.
375
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:15,140
Hurry.
Lester, come along.
376
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,642
Now, we're just going
to have to face it.
377
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,510
The show must go on.
378
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,578
Now, are you ready?
379
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,113
- But I can't go out there.
380
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,215
I-- I don't even know the part.
381
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,250
- Now, now, we know
differently, Mr. Wilson.
382
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,920
And I'll be under that trap
door, hidden by the bear rug,
383
00:16:27,921 --> 00:16:29,221
ready to prompt you.
384
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:32,324
- Oh, well that's a great
comfort-- young man,
385
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,226
will you stop staring at me?
386
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,061
- Oh, Herman, come along.
387
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:36,762
Come on, dear, dear.
388
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:37,763
Hurry, please.
389
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,131
- Where is Buzz?
390
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,733
- I've got them, Dennis.
391
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:41,734
- Thanks, Margaret.
392
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:44,670
- What's all this?
393
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,071
What?
394
00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:48,340
- Boy, you've sure got
a big head, Mr. Wilson.
395
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,908
- Margaret, what are you doing?
396
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,577
- His middle's big, too.
397
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:54,246
This gun belt won't even
go halfway around him.
398
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,281
- Give me it, Margaret.
399
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:59,084
That means you've gotta use
an extra piece of string.
400
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,486
- Dennis, I am not
wearing any string,
401
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:02,221
I'm not wearing this
silly hat, and I
402
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,756
am not going out on that stage.
403
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:04,823
Is that clear?
404
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,258
- But jeepers, Mr. Wilson.
405
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:09,328
You got one of the swellest
parts in the whole play.
406
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:12,064
- You even get to die in the end.
407
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:15,034
- Well, lucky me.
408
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:17,036
BUZZ (OFFSCREEN): Mr. Wilson!
409
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,537
- It's Buzz!
410
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,905
Buzz is back!
411
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:22,574
- Mr. Wilson, I got the key made.
412
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:23,842
- Oh, good.
413
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,412
Well, come on, man!
414
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:29,915
Well?
415
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:32,084
What's the matter?
416
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,485
- It won't fit.
417
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,087
I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to file it down some.
418
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,288
- Oh, no.
Well, file it!
419
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:37,623
File it!
420
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,324
But hurry!
Hurry!
421
00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:41,627
- Oh, the last
number's almost over.
422
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,228
- Oh, well, faster, Buzz!
423
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:50,602
Faster!
424
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,205
- Once more, honey.
425
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:03,316
- I wonder what's
happening with George?
426
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:13,359
- The part of Shorty, which was
to have been played by Herman
427
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:19,666
Snell, will be played instead
by, by Mr. George Wilson.
428
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,070
- Oh, dear.
429
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:29,441
- Now we know what's
happening with George.
430
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,778
[applause]
431
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:43,623
[neighing]
432
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,527
- Good old Spotty.
433
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:52,398
I couldn't have caught
'em without you.
434
00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:59,772
Lester!
435
00:18:59,773 --> 00:19:03,809
- You callin' me,
Marshal [inaudible]?
436
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:07,179
- Bring in the Dalton
twins, Lester.
437
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,182
- Anything you say, marshal.
438
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,654
- It's no use, Mr. Wilson.
439
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,156
It just won't work.
440
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,158
- Well, keep filing, Buzz!
441
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,160
This is no time to quit!
442
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,162
- Mr. Wilson, Mr. Wilson,
you're on, you're on!
443
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,264
- I'm-- oh, no, no, no,
I'm not going out there.
444
00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:27,132
Now go away, go away.
- I found it, I found it.
445
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,334
- You found what?
What?
446
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:29,802
Ah.
Get that thing off me, Margaret.
447
00:19:29,803 --> 00:19:30,636
- Step on it, Tommy.
448
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:31,503
Hurry.
- File it.
449
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,604
- File it.
File it.
450
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,873
Keep filing.
451
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:36,742
What are you doing?
452
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,678
- Margaret.
Hurry.
453
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:45,517
- Please cooperate, Mr. Wilson.
454
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,553
{\an8}- What are you do--
455
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:52,358
{\an8}- Lester!
456
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,794
- We're having a little
trouble, Mr. [inaudible].
457
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,066
- Mr. Wilson, remember
what Shakespeare said.
458
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:03,002
The show must go on.
459
00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:04,203
- Oh, you lady.
460
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:05,237
For your information,
Shakespeare
461
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:06,705
made no such quotation.
462
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,408
And as for me, this
show'll go on without me.
463
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:14,514
- Lester!
- I have made up my mi-- No!
464
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,760
- Well, Shorty?
465
00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:30,629
Well, Shorty?
466
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:34,033
What do you gotta
say for yourself now?
467
00:20:34,034 --> 00:20:37,236
- I, uh, uh--
468
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:40,606
- I've broken out
of better jails.
469
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:44,910
- Oh, I've broken out of better
jails than this in my sleep.
470
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:47,146
Uh, right Slim?
471
00:20:47,147 --> 00:20:48,514
- Right Shorty.
472
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:49,481
- Oh father.
473
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:50,482
Father.
474
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:51,884
- Hello daughter.
475
00:20:51,885 --> 00:20:52,918
- Oh, father.
476
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,820
There's been talk of a lynching.
477
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:57,456
- Oh, howdy gal.
478
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:58,425
- Oh, Shorty.
479
00:21:04,064 --> 00:21:04,797
- Hark.
480
00:21:04,798 --> 00:21:06,065
Mr. [inaudible].
481
00:21:06,066 --> 00:21:08,701
The crowd in the
square's getting ugly.
482
00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:11,070
- Let me see, mister.
483
00:21:11,071 --> 00:21:13,939
[gunshot]
484
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,074
- Yep.
485
00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:18,211
They're getting
uglier all right.
486
00:21:20,747 --> 00:21:22,181
- Psst.
487
00:21:22,182 --> 00:21:23,816
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): I'll
tell you what you do, Lester.
488
00:21:23,817 --> 00:21:27,319
Keep your eyes on them twins,
and don't let nary one of them
489
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,489
move.
If they do, let them have it.
490
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:31,623
- Start rocking.
491
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,460
- That crowd's getting a
might uneasy, all right,
492
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:38,697
Mr. [inaudible].
493
00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:42,401
- That crowd's getting a
might uneasy all right.
494
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:43,769
What do you have
to say for yourself
495
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:46,006
to that, Shorty Dalton?
496
00:21:46,106 --> 00:21:47,106
- Uh, Oh.
497
00:21:47,107 --> 00:21:49,808
Oh, my gang won't let me down.
498
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:50,642
Right Slim?
499
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,111
- Right Shorty.
500
00:21:52,112 --> 00:21:55,114
- Well, you'll get no
help here, Shorty Dalton.
501
00:21:55,115 --> 00:21:58,250
- Oh yes he will, father.
502
00:21:58,251 --> 00:22:01,820
- Why thank you, gal.
503
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,088
Marshal.
504
00:22:03,089 --> 00:22:06,225
At the count of three,
supposing we two
505
00:22:06,226 --> 00:22:08,227
try to decide which
one of us varmints
506
00:22:08,228 --> 00:22:10,329
is a might slow on the draw.
507
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:11,197
You ready?
508
00:22:17,270 --> 00:22:19,872
- I'm a-waiting, shorty.
509
00:22:19,873 --> 00:22:22,441
- One.
510
00:22:22,442 --> 00:22:23,977
Two.
511
00:22:24,077 --> 00:22:26,645
Uh, two and a half.
512
00:22:26,646 --> 00:22:27,613
I'm loose.
513
00:22:27,614 --> 00:22:28,614
I'm free!
514
00:22:28,615 --> 00:22:33,919
- Mr. Wilson!
515
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,289
[shouting]
516
00:22:37,290 --> 00:22:40,826
- Mr. Wilson, you
haven't been killed yet!
517
00:22:40,827 --> 00:22:41,827
- Close the curtains.
518
00:22:41,828 --> 00:22:43,195
Close the curtains.
519
00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:46,765
- But the play isn't
over, Mr. Wilson!
520
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:48,535
- It is, as far as I'm concerned.
521
00:23:02,649 --> 00:23:05,617
- Oh, I tell you, Martha,
after last night,
522
00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:07,519
the only thing to do
is to sell the house
523
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,957
and move away to someplace
where I am not known.
524
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:12,825
- George you're just
being plain silly.
525
00:23:12,826 --> 00:23:13,926
- I a--
[doorbell]
526
00:23:13,927 --> 00:23:14,727
- Uh oh.
527
00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:19,932
- Hello.
528
00:23:19,933 --> 00:23:21,533
- Hi Mrs. Wilson.
- Good morning.
529
00:23:21,534 --> 00:23:22,835
Come on in.
530
00:23:22,836 --> 00:23:25,070
- How's our favorite thespian
taking the morning after?
531
00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:26,939
- Not too well, I'm afraid.
532
00:23:26,940 --> 00:23:27,873
George.
533
00:23:27,874 --> 00:23:29,541
It's the Mitchells.
534
00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:30,509
- I know Martha.
535
00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:31,510
I hear.
536
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:32,144
Morning Alice.
537
00:23:32,145 --> 00:23:34,079
Morning Mitchell.
538
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,115
- Have you read the review
of last night's activities
539
00:23:36,116 --> 00:23:37,249
in the morning paper?
540
00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:39,151
- Oh no, I don't
want to, Mitchell.
541
00:23:39,152 --> 00:23:40,953
I have no desire to.
542
00:23:40,954 --> 00:23:42,521
- But everybody loved it.
543
00:23:42,522 --> 00:23:43,822
- Oh now, Alice.
544
00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:46,925
Don't try to salve the
wounds of the court jester.
545
00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:49,194
- And I know not who's
stroke of genius
546
00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:52,297
was responsible for putting an
adult in a children's farce,
547
00:23:52,298 --> 00:23:54,900
but it was without doubt,
the artistic brilliance
548
00:23:54,901 --> 00:23:58,370
of our own talented,
humorous George Wilson,
549
00:23:58,371 --> 00:24:01,206
who made the evening
the success it was.
550
00:24:01,207 --> 00:24:03,676
- Why, I don't believe it.
551
00:24:03,677 --> 00:24:04,510
Martha.
552
00:24:04,511 --> 00:24:05,244
Did you hear that?
553
00:24:05,245 --> 00:24:07,079
- I certainly did, dear.
554
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,614
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Mr. Wilson!
555
00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:09,615
Hi mom.
556
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:11,050
Hi dad!
557
00:24:11,051 --> 00:24:12,051
- Young man.
558
00:24:12,052 --> 00:24:13,485
Why aren't you in school?
559
00:24:13,486 --> 00:24:15,120
- Cause Miss Gilbert sent
me home during recess
560
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:19,558
to tell Mr. Wilson how
good he was last night.
561
00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:25,197
- Well, what is there to say
except, talent will out, huh?
562
00:24:25,198 --> 00:24:28,667
- And she says to be there
at 8:00 sharp tonight.
563
00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:29,702
- All right.
564
00:24:29,703 --> 00:24:32,571
8:00 sharp it will-- 8:00 sharp?
565
00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:33,739
For what?
566
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:35,507
- They're gonna do the
play all over again.
567
00:24:35,508 --> 00:24:37,977
Just like last night.
568
00:24:38,078 --> 00:24:42,081
But this time, for charity.
569
00:24:42,082 --> 00:24:44,651
- Oh great Scott.
570
00:24:51,091 --> 00:24:53,092
[theme music]
571
00:24:53,093 --> 00:25:13,146
NARRATOR: This has been a
572
00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:33,800
from the Hollywood studios
of Columbia Pictures.
38713
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof