Original subtitles

- Hi, Mr. Hubbard.

Can I talk to you about my project?

- School's over, Dennis.

Run along, now. You'll miss your bus.

- I already did.

My dad's going to come and get me.

- Oh.

Well, you may wait here if you wish.

Here, you may sharpen my pencil.

Nothing like having everything ready

and starting the morning with a clean slate.

- Gee, thanks, Mr. Hubbard.

Mr. Hubbard? - Hmm?

- You said we had to write four whole pages in our project.

Is it OK if I make it bigger? - Certainly, Dennis.

The more material you include, the better your grade.

- Oh, boy.

I'm gonna have the best project in the whole class.

[footsteps]

MR. HUBBARD (OFFSCREEN): Afternoon, Mr. Mitchell.

- Afternoon, Mr. Hubbard. - Hi, dad.

I'm helping Mr. Hubbard.

- Well, that's nice.

- I sure am sorry for the kids that are younger than me.

- "Than I."

- Than I. The kids that are younger than me

are gonna have some new teacher that

won't be half as good as Mr. Hubbard.

- The whole school is going to miss you, Mr. Hubbard.

By the way, what do intend doing after you retire?

- Well, I'm going to write a book.

I'm calling it My 35 Years In The Public School System.

- Well, it sounds fascinating.

- Boy, it sure does.

- Of course, that's only the working title.

The publishers will probably want

something a little snappier.

Dennis!

- I sure got it nice and clean, huh, Mr. Hubbard?

- But that was tomorrow's assignment.

It took me over half an hour to put it up.

- Jeepers, you said you wanted a clean slate.

- Come along, son.

Um, I'm sorry, Mr. Hubbard.

Terribly sorry.

- Gee, I was only trying to help.

I'm sorry, Mr. Hubbard.

- We're both very sorry, Mr. Hubbard.

Uh, it-- it'll make an amusing chapter in your book.

[theme music]

- George, will you please move the television set?

- Oh.

Martha, no wonder our picture isn't as clear

as it used to be.

Just look at the dust on the back of this thing.

- I don't see how a little dust on the back

could affect the picture.

- Well, some of it's bound to have seeped inside.

- George, what are you doing?

- Just taking the back off, my dear,

so that we can dust it out.

I know what I'm doing.

- I'm not through with the carpet yet.

- Well, it'll only take a minute.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Hey, Mr. Wilson!

- Tell him I'm not home.

Tell him I'm taking a nap.

Tell him I've gone to Timbuktu.

- Hello, Dennis.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

Is mister-- hey, Mr. Wilson, will you

help me with my project?

- Project?

What project?

- It's for school.

We're studying Mexico, and each kid

has to pick out some place there and find out all about it,

and tell how we'd like to go here on our vacation.

- Sounds like a master's thesis.

- It's more like homework.

- Why don't you come back a little later?

Mr. Wilson's very busy right now.

- Oh, no, this won't take long, Martha.

I have the material right here.

As a matter of fact, Dennis, I was

reading about Mexico in an article in one of my travel

magazines just the other day.

If I can get it out.

There it is.

Now, you just take this home with you and read it.

- Gee, thanks, Mr. Wilson.

You sure are swell to me.

Boy, that's the biggest fish I ever saw in my whole life,

even in a picture.

- Oh, that's a striped marlin, 432 pounds,

caught off the La Isle de Felicidad.

That means the Isle of Happiness.

Just take a look at that beauty.

- Boy, this is sure going to be a swell project.

You sure know a good place for a vacation.

- [laughing] You know, the writer of this article says that

it's a sportsman's paradise, and he's traveled all over

the world.

Why, there's nothing to do but enjoy the scenery and fish.

Oh, just take a look at this view, Dennis.

Isn't that beautiful?

See the blue skies and the blue ocean, white sands,

palm trees swaying in the evening breeze,

and there's a stream winding its way

through the green jungle where orchids grow wild.

Imagine that, Martha.

Wild orchids, and I can't get one bloom from that $14 plant.

- It will, dear.

It just takes patience.

Dennis, why don't you take the magazine home?

- Hey, here's a man digging in the sand.

- Oh, yes.

He's getting clams.

Clams, fresh steamed clams, and oysters in the bay.

- And if I wanted a necklace, I could just

reach down and grab myself a pearl.

George, if we're going to get this room clean by lunch time--

- You go ahead, dear.

I'll finish up in here.

- Jeepers, I really would like to go to the ee-- ee--

- Isla de Felicidad.

- On my vacation.

Wouldn't you, Mr. Wilson?

Huh?

- Uh, Martha, turn on the switch, will you, dear?

Oh, never mind.

I can reach it.

Oh!

- George, you've got the blower on!

- [coughing]

Oh!

Great Scott!

[music playing]

- George?

- You should have seen the one that got away.

Oh, excuse me, Martha.

I must have been dreaming there for a minute.

- You better take the trash barrel out.

- Why?

- Because if you don't get it out by 10 o'clock,

the men won't empty it.

- Well, supposing they don't?

Supposing just for once I don't take out the trash barrel?

- Well, all right, dear.

If you feel that way about it, I'll take it out.

It's not that heavy.

- Oh, no, Martha.

I'll take out the trash.

It's a husband's duty to take out the trash.

And then when the men have emptied the barrel,

I'll bring it back in again so that we can start filling up

our waste baskets once more, so that

by 10 o'clock next Wednesday, I can

take out a full trash barrel.

Then they will empty it.

I'll bring back in the barrel.

We can start filling up our waste baskets again,

and fill up the trash barrel, ad infinitum.

Ah!

- George, I don't understand you.

You've never objected to taking out the trash before.

- Oh, it's all right, Martha.

I don't expect you to understand.

- Don't you feel well?

- Oh, yes, dear.

I feel fine.

- But something's troubling you.

What is it you want?

- I want to go to Mexico.

I want to catch a marlin.

- You want to go all the way to Mexico just to fish?

But why, dear?

You can fish at Lake Bailey.

And what's that got to do with trash?

- A marlin isn't just a fish.

It's a dream, a challenge, a--

- Of course it's a fish, George.

I better call Dr. Simpson for an appointment.

You sound bilious to me.

- Martha Wilson, I am not bilious.

I'm a normal, perfectly healthy man

who's in the prime of his life and who

would like to catch a marlin before he's

too old and feeble to pull him in.

- But George--

- Oh, that's all right, Martha.

Let's just forget about it.

I'm sorry I said anything.

- But George--

- Oh, it's probably too expensive, anyway.

It's silly to even think about it.

- It might not be too expensive.

It wouldn't do any harm to find out.

- Well, it's-- Martha!

Well, I could go downtown right now and see our travel agent.

I-- oh, you-- you mean it?

I mean, would-- would you go?

- Well, of course, George.

It doesn't matter to me where I am as long as I'm with you.

- But would you like to go?

- Well, frankly, it seems like a long way

to go just to catch a marlin, but if that's what you want.

- Oh, Martha!

Me on the Island of Happiness.

[music playing]

Hello, dear.

Alice.

Well, the trip is off.

There's no hotel on the island.

- Well, it can't be a very popular spot

if there aren't any hotels.

- You mean there's no place to stay?

- There is a house we could rent.

- Well, let's rent it.

- But they won't let us rent it for just a couple of weeks.

We'd have to lease it for a whole year.

You wouldn't want to do that, would you, Martha?

You wouldn't want to go off with me to a tropical paradise,

and live in luxury in a pile house

with all the modern conveniences on a beautiful beach

where the water's as warm as your bathtub and free servants

to wait on you hand and foot?

In the evening we could stroll down to the plaza

and dance in the moonlight to the strains of a native guitar.

And all it costs is $65 a month including everything,

would you, Martha?

- Call him up right now and tell him we'll take it.

- Martha!

You mean it?

- Of course.

- But Mrs. Wilson, a whole year!

- I'm just as thrilled about it as you are.

More!

- Martha, darling!

Come on, let's do the fandango!

- That's the most impractical thing

I've ever heard of in my life, spending

a whole year on the Isle of Happiness.

I can understand Mr. Wilson talking himself

into such a wild idea, but why would

Mr. Wilson go along with it? DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Hey, mom!

Hey, dad!

- Oh, you know Mrs. Wilson.

Anything he wants, she wants.

Oh, come in, Mr. Wilson.

We were just talking about you.

- How are you, Mr. Wilson?

Come on in, sit down.

- Mr. Wilson's going to give me a dollar.

- He is?

- Ah, this is quite an enterprising young man

you have here, Mitchell.

You ought to set him up in business

in an office of his own.

- I just rented Mr. Wilson's house for him.

- Rented your house?

- To whom?

- Yo know my teacher, Mr. Hubbard?

- Your teacher?

- Why would he want to rent a house?

He's already got a house.

- Not for very long, he hasn't.

He just got it paid for, and kazoom, the new highway

bought it.

- So Dennis heard he was looking for a place,

told him mine was going to be vacant, [laughing]

and here's the check for the first and last month's rent.

- What does Mrs. Wilson think of you're renting the house?

- Oh, she's just as thrilled about it as I am.

Frankly, I've never seen Martha so enthusiastic about anything

before.

- Yeah, she's so happy she's crying.

- Time for our first Spanish lesson.

[speaking spanish]

- I asked the Mitchells to come over.

They thought it would be fun to study Spanish with us.

- Oh dear, they're not bringing Dennis along, are they?

Oh, well, it doesn't matter.

I guess I can put up with Dennis for a little while longer.

[doorbell]

- Come in, dears.

- Hello, Mrs. Wilson.

- Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

- Well, hello there, Mitchells.

- Hi.

- Where's dear little Dennis?

- Here I am, Mr. Wilson.

I just stopped to get a banana.

- Come on over and sit down quietly.

- Could I put the record on, Mr. Wilson?

Mr. Hubbard let's met do it all the time in music appreciation.

- Let Mr. Wilson do it, dear.

[record in fast motion]

- Great Scott!

- George I can't learn to speak like that.

[record in normal motion]

- You had it on the wrong speed, Mr. Wilson.

MALE VOICE (ON RECORD): Buenos.

- Buenos.

MALE VOICE (ON RECORD): Dias.

- Dias.

MALE VOICE (ON RECORD) Buenos dias.

- Buenos dias.

MALE VOICE (ON RECORD): Buenos dias, senor.

- Buenos dias, senor.

MALE VOICE (ON RECORD): Usted.

- Usted.

MALE VOICE (ON RECORD): Como esta usted.

[doorbell]

- Como esta usted.

MALE VOICE (ON RECORD): Buenos dias.

- Hey, it's Mr. Hubbard!

- Mr. Hubbard. - Hello, Mr. Hubbard.

- No, no.

Don't let me disturb you.

I just came by to see how my Mercury would

look on the mantle.

Please to right ahead with whatever you were doing.

I insist.

- Well, it it'll make you feel more are home.

After all, the place is practically yours already.

- Thank you.

I felt at home the moment I stepped in the house.

[music playing]

My, my.

You do look nice there.

I'll leave him there for you to enjoy.

- George, Mr. Hubbard is going to--

- Ah ah, speak Spanish only.

Uh, habla Espanol, solamente.

- Senor Hubbard esta aqui ella-- I mean,

aholla-- oh, I'll tell you after lunch.

Mazel tov.

- Bueno.

Es muy necessario habla Espanol.

- Si.

- Oh, Marcia?

Marcia?

- Oh, that's me.

Si?

- De me un cuchillo, por favor.

Cuchillo.

Un cuchillo. Cuchillo.

- Oh!

No a cuchillo.

Es, um, cucharita.

- No, no, no.

Es cuchillo.

- No es cuch-- es cucharita.

- Es cuchillo.

- Es cucharita--

- Es cuchillo.

- Cucharita.

- Es cu-- charita.

- No es cuchillo.

Es cucharita.

Es la montauila.

Es la casa.

[knock on door]

- Your front door was open so I just breezed in.

Don't let me distribute you.

I just dropped by to measure space for my bookcases.

- Hey!

Martha, he acts as though he's moved in already.

- Now George, he'll make an excellent tenant.

He'll treat the house as if it belonged to him.

- Well, he does now!

- I was afraid it might be a bit crowded in here.

If I move all of this stuff into the back bedroom,

there will be plenty of room for my small possessions.

Oh, I am going to enjoy it here.

- We hope so, Mr. Hubbard.

George and I love this old house.

Well, just make yourself at home.

- Well, what is he doing in there?

- Measuring.

- Golly, I'm going to remind that his release doesn't

start for another two weeks.

If you don't mind, Mr. Hubbard!

- Not at all, Mr. Wilson.

I've finished downstairs now.

- It can't be.

But it is!

- Where are you going?

- To measure the wall space in the back bedroom.

- But I haven't made the beds yet.

- Martha!

Come and look at my orchid.

It's got a bud on it.

It's going to bloom!

- Yes, dear, it should with all the care you've given it.

- Martha?

Do you realize we won't be here when it flowers?

- I can't bear people seeing my beds unmade.

- We'll be on the Isle of Happiness.

- Yes, dear, where the orchids grow wild.

- Yes, but they won't be my orchids.

[music playing]

- Well, buenos noches, dear.

- Oh.

Buenos noches, Martha.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

Long distance?

Yes, this is-- Georgiana!

How is our favorite niece?

Are you all right, dear?

- Georgiana?

Is anything wrong?

Hello, dear.

Uncle George.

Yes, how are you? Oh?

What news?

Well, go ahead and tell us.

- Oh, how wonderful!

Oh, Georgiana, I can hardly believe it.

- Well, that's-- when's it going to happen?

- In August?

Oh, we're so happy for you, dear.

And Bob, too.

Now you take care of yourself, dear.

We'll write you tomorrow.

Give our love to Bob, dear.

Good night.

We're just terribly happy for you.

Imagine, our little Georgiana having a baby.

George, what's the matter with you?

You look absolutely stunned.

Children do grow up, you know, and have babies.

- Oh, yes.

Yes, indeed, Martha.

Our own little Georgiana going to have a baby.

In August.

- Isn't it wonderful, dear?

Buenos noches, dear.

- Buenos noches, Martha.

In August--

[music playing]

Where are you, Martha?

Wait for me!

MRS. WILSON (OFFSCREEN): Over here, George.

You have to hurry, dear, if you want to see the baby.

- I'm coming!

Wait for me, Martha! Martha!

MRS. WILSON (OFFSCREEN): Goodbye, George.

Goodbye, dear.

- Oh, Martha, wait!

Oh, let me through, please.

I've got to see the baby.

Yo quiero ver el nino.

Comprende?

- [gibberish]

- No, no, no, no, no, no!

No! No!

No!

- George! George!

Wake up, dear!

- Oh!

Oh!

Oh, Martha, Martha.

We can't go to the Isle of Happiness.

- Why, of course we can, dear.

You've just having a nightmare.

- No, Martha, I don't want to go.

I don't want to be in a foreign country

when Georgiana is having her baby.

Oh, I know what a disappointment this is to you,

but I'll make it up to you some way, my dear.

Oh, but can't we just stay home?

Do we have to go to the Isle of Happiness?

- Oh, George.

You know my Isle of Happiness is where you are.

- Oh, Martha, you're my dear, sweet, understanding girl,

and I'll see Hubbard the first thing in the-- uh-oh.

Suppose he won't let us out of the deal?

- Oh, now, George.

Mr. Hubbard's a very nice man.

He'll understand why we changed our minds.

- Why, of course he will.

Why, he's got to.

I'll explain our situation to him and ask him nicely.

He'll say yes.

- No.

- Mr. Hubbard, I'm giving you your money back.

Well, you can rent another house.

- Not a house like this, not for what I can afford to pay.

- But Mr. Hubbard, the only reason

we rented you this house so cheaply

is because we thought of you as a friend.

- And I hope we'll always be friends, Mrs Mrs. Wilson,

but you have to see my side of it, too.

A school teacher's pension doesn't go very far,

and I have to think of myself, you know.

And a bargain is a bargain.

- Well, to tell you the truth, Mr. Hubbard,

this house really isn't such a bargain.

- It is to me.

- Oh, there are a lot of things wrong with it.

It's full of drafts, and the windows

are swollen, loose doorknobs.

- When you're in an old house, you

expect a few things to go wrong.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Hey, Mr. Wilson!

- And the neighborhood is full of kids.

Now how do you expect to write your book with Dennis

running in and out of here all day

long, breaking windows, trampling down the garden?

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Hey, Mr. Wilson!

Is Mr. Hubbard here?

- Now, you see?

You haven't even moved in yet, and Dennis

is bothering you already.

- Mr. Wilson, I've been a school teacher for 35 years.

Children don't bother me.

Hello, Dennis.

- Mr. Hubbard, I finished my project book.

Would you like to see it?

- You may turn it in with the rest

of the class on Monday, Dennis.

I'll read it at the proper time.

- Jeepers.

Can I read it to you, Mr. Wilson?

- Oh, no, not now, Dennis.

The last place in the world I want to hear about

is the Isle of Happiness.

Now you look here, Hubbard.

- If necessary, I shall sue.

[music playing]

- I'll show him!

- You may read it to me, Dennis.

- "The place I would rather go on my vacation,

by Dennis Mitchell."

- A bargain is a bargain.

- "The place I would rather go on my vacation

is called La Isla de Felicidad.

That means the Isle of Happiness,

and the reason it's called that is because it is."

- Hello, Harry?

This is George Wilson.

I have a small legal problem.

- "The Isle of Happiness is just about the prettiest place

in the whole world, and I've got some pictures to prove it.

The temperature is 80 degrees all year around,

and you can go swimming any time you want, even at night,

because the ocean's real warm and there aren't

any rocks on the beach to stub your toe on.

And you can sail a boat on it, too."

- But Harry, how did I know I'd need a lawyer?

- "And wild orchids and coconuts, and any time you want a banana,

you just reach right up into a tree and grab one.

And you can catch all the fish you want, so it hardly

costs anything to live down there."

- Oh, a fined lawyer you are!

- "With flowers climbing all over the wall and three servants

to take care of you, and all it costs for everything is only

$65 a month.

And here's a picture to prove it.

So that's why I picked the Isle of Happiness

for the place I'd rather go on my vacation.

The end."

- Let me see that, Dennis.

$65 a month, 80 degrees all year around.

[music playing]

- "The Isle of Happiness is everything

I thought it would be and more.

So as we say down here, 'Mi casa es tu casa.' Come any time,

stay as long as you like, and be sure to bring

Dennis and the Wilsons with you.

Sincerely, Alfred D. Hubbard."

- Well, isn't that nice.

- Look at the size of that fish.

The Isle of Happiness, a real fisherman's paradise.

- Oh, boy, we better start studying our Spanish some more.

Can I put the records on, Mr. Wilson?

- That's a good idea, Dennis.

- It's only a couple hours by jet.

Maybe we could do it.

- Henry, do you think we could?

We'd have a wonderful time.

- Why not?

- Yes, why not?

Of course, we'd have to wait till after August.

Look at the size of this bootie.

[record in fast motion] - Jeepers!

- You know, if Georgiana's baby turns out to be a boy,

I hope he grows up to be just like Dennis.

[theme music]

ANNOUNCER: This has been a Screen Gems film production

from the Hollywood Studios of Columbia Pictures.