Original subtitles

- I tried putting that chair up for a half an hour

when it came yesterday.

- It's really very simple, Mother.

All you have to do is follow the printed directions.

- Hey, Grandma.

Is Agnes a good name for a girl frog?

[laughing]

- Dennis, if I was a little girl frog

I'd be very happy to be called Agnes.

- That gives me four swell names for the frogs

in Mr. Wilson's fish pond.

- When I was with Mr. Wilson a little while ago,

he appeared to be calling those frogs

by a few names of his own.

- How about Frank?

Frank's a good name, too.

- I'd better make it Frank Jr. One of them's still a tadpole.

- Well, Mrs. Mitchell--

[scream]

[laughing]

- Henry, you're getting more like your father every day.

[theme music]

- What are you doing, George? - Oh.

Hello, dear.

Well, the plant food I've been using

has just done wonders for my fuchsias and azaleas,

but, well, nothing seems to help my pander formis rubber plants.

So I'm doing a little experimenting.

- Oh now, George, remember the last time

you experimented by mixing your own weed killer?

- Oh well now, Martha, we needed a new lawn anyway.

- Maybe some of the members of your Garden Club

can suggest something to use on the plant.

- What, me ask those hot house has-beens for advice

after the way they treated me?

Never!

Now I'll just put this in here, and--

[ribbit]

- Ah!

Good grief.

[ribbit]

- Out, go on, scat!

Out, out!

[ribbit]

[ribbit]

[sigh]

- Martha, those little beasts have just got to go!

- Oh now, George, it was you who promised Dennis

that his frog, Sam, could live in the fish pond.

- Well I never would have if I'd known

Sam was about to become a mother.

- What harm can a few frogs do?

- Martha, they wake me up in the morning.

They keep me up at night.

They get in my way when I'm gardening.

And they keep hopping into the house

at all hours completely unnerving me.

In short, Martha, they do everything

that Dennis does, but ask questions.

[laughing]

- And we'll name this frog Mr. Wilson.

TOMMY (OFFSCREEN): That's a good name, Dennis.

- Well, what if Mr. Wilson turns out to be a girl frog like Sam?

- Mr. Wilson's a boy frog, Margaret.

- Listen here, Dennis Mitchell.

How do you know he's a boy frog?

- Because he keeps his mouth shut.

That's how.

[laughing]

[ribbit]

- Gee, look at him hop. - Yeah.

Did you ever see a girl hope like that?

- All right, Dennis.

You can call him Mr. Wilson if you

let me pick out Sam's new name.

- You want to change Sam's name?

- Sam's a girl, isn't she?

- So what.

It's not his fault.

- Yeah, why punish poor old Sam? - Sure.

Do we go around trying to change your name just

because you turned out to be a girl?

- But Margaret is a girl's name.

- Yeah.

- Dennis, it's no use arguing with a girl.

- Now, let's see.

I think we should call her Theresa.

- Theresa?

- After a girlfriend of mine.

- Listen, Margaret.

What right does some dumb old girlfriend

of yours got to have a swell frog named after her?

- Dennis Mitchell, if you don't mind your ways,

I may never even speak to you after we get married!

- Dennis, do you believe what my mom says

about us liking girls when we get older?

- I guess we gotta believe it, Tommy.

What about those guys kissing girls in the park

without even getting sick to their stomachs?

- Yeah.

- Maybe as you get older, you get a stronger stomach.

- Say, there's good old Mr. Wilson.

- Which one?

- The big one.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

We've been playing in your fish pond.

- Oh, good morning, boys.

- What ya doin?

- I'm about to feed my new plant here some special plant food

that I've invented.

Now, eh, don't bother me.

- Jeepers.

If that's the kind of food plants like,

I'm sure glad I'm people.

- Me too.

I'd even rather be a frog and eat bugs.

- You'd rather be a frog than people?

- Nah, than one of Mr. Wilson's plants.

- If you boys don't mind-- (SOFTLY)

there's something on my back.

- It's only Gus, Mr. Wilson.

- Dennis, this is just as good a time

as any to tell you that you have got

to find another home for your frogs!

- We will, but jeepers, where'll we take them?

- As far away from here as possible.

They're rapidly turning me into a nervous wreck.

- Gee, Mr. Wilson, we just named one of the frogs after you.

- Yeah, and you should see him jump.

- He burps the loudest in the whole pond, too.

- He's about the best swimmer.

- And the best diver.

- He doesn't even hold his nose.

- Dennis, I don't care if he does the double one and a half

backwards from a low rock while blindfolded with both legs tied

behind his back and smoking a cigar.

- Does Sam have to go, too?

- Well, all except Sam.

- Jeepers, Tommy.

Those poor little orphans.

- Let's see.

It's 26 inches.

Mm-hm.

Ah.

Now you boys step on one more of my plants,

and you're going to have to find some place else to play!

- Jeepers, Tommy.

I guess we'll have to find new homes

for Jimmy, and Gus, and Agnes.

- Mr. Wilson, too.

- Here comes Sam.

[ribbit]

[ribbit] [ribbit]

- Here, Sam. - Uh oh.

- Jeepers.

Mr. Wilson's favorite plant.

- It is?

- Sure.

Isn't this the one he was just playing with?

Now we're in real trouble.

- What'll we do?

- We gotta find another plant like this

before Mr. Wilson finds out, or he

won't let us come around anymore.

- Hey, Dennis.

My mom's got some plants that look like this in our backyard.

Let's go get one!

- That's a swell idea, Tommy!

But won't your folks mind?

- Heck, no.

We got a whole yard chuck full of plants.

Dad says anything's better than having a lot of grass to cut.

- Oh, boy!

- There!

It looks even better than this old plant we broke.

- Yeah. - Come on.

Let's go.

- Tommy, do you suppose your folks would

let to try to keeping the frogs in your fish

pond if we promise they'll be quieter this time?

- Not a chance!

My dad's even complaining about my Uncle Harold staying

with us.

And he hardly makes any noise at all.

[humming]

- Great Scott! Martha!

- George, I think you ought to wait.

- Now, Martha-- oh, hello.

Uh, Mrs. Schooner, this is Martha-- George!

George Wilson.

- Oh, good afternoon, Mr. Wilson.

GEORGE (ON PHONE): Mrs. Schooner, I

wanted you to be the first to know.

- Know what, Mr. Wilson?

- Well, I have developed an amazing new plant

food, which made my pander formis rubber plant grow

four inches within 45 minutes.

- Mr. Wilson, are you quite sure you're all right?

- Well, if you and the rest of the Club officials

would care to drop by my house this afternoon,

I will be happy to substantiate my claim

with concrete evidence.

- We'll be there within the hour, Mr. Wilson.

Goodbye. - Goodbye.

[chuckling]

[singing]

- Hehe, hah!

Oh, Martha!

- Oh, George.

- Say, Grandma, do you like fish ponds?

- Well, I suppose they're all right.

- Hey, Dad.

Did you know Grandma likes fish ponds?

- Is that so?

- Do you like fish ponds?

- If I was a fish, I wouldn't be without one.

- Guess what, Grandma.

Good old Dad likes fish ponds, too.

- That's nice, dear.

- I wonder how come we don't have one.

- I'm afraid you'll have to ask your father that.

- OK!

- Hey, dad.

Grandma wants to know why we don't have a fish pond.

- What is all this about fish ponds?

- The fish pond we're gonna build.

- Hey, wait a minute.

Mother, what is all this about fish ponds?

- Well I was just going to ask you the same question.

- Boy, it sure is easy to get excited over a fish pond,

isn't it?

- Dennis, we're not building a fish pond.

- But just suppose we did build one.

Then Sam and his kids could have a new home,

and all live together, and-- no fish pond?

- No fish pond.

Nice try, though.

- Hey, Dennis!

- That's Tommy.

Maybe he did better with his folks.

- Hi, Tommy.

- Dennis, my mom wants her plant back.

- She does?

Jeepers, are you sure?

- If I was any surer, I couldn't sit down for a week.

- This is going to put us right back where

we started from, Tommy.

- Even further back.

My mom says I can't watch any television tonight.

- Want a caterpillar, Tommy?

- No thanks.

What a goofy bug, wearing a fur coat in weather like this.

- Say, Tommy, I wonder how much Mr. Merrivale

would charge for a plant like this.

- He shouldn't charge much for something

that looks like a big weed.

- That's just it.

The more they look like a big weed without being one,

the more they cost.

- I got $0.07.

And-- hey, wait a minute.

Here's another penny stuck to my bubble gum.

- And I got $0.17 and $0.39 in my piggy bank.

Let's see.

Eight and 17 makes 39.

- Gee, Dennis.

If we had a little more, we could run away from home.

- Well, one thing at a time, Tommy.

You carry the two, and-- say, doesn't Mr. Merrivale

put in fish ponds for people?

- You think Mr. Wilson would rather

have another fish pond than a plant?

- Of course not, Tommy.

But maybe Mr. Merrivale would like to give a frog away

with every fish pond he puts in.

- That's a swell idea, Dennis.

- Sure.

And that way we could find good homes for Sam's kids, too.

- Hey, maybe we could get Mr. Wilson a new plant

and make money besides.

- Jeepers, Tommy.

How much do you suppose a frog is worth?

- Let's see.

One must be worth at least a-- you know something, Dennis?

I've never sold a frog before.

- Me neither.

I'm gonna get a box to put the frogs in.

You take your mom's plant home.

And then meet me in Mr. Merrivale's nursery.

- OK.

- Here.

Stick the old plant back in until we get back.

- And thus, by mixing the plant food

containing ammonic nitrogen with the second bottle,

I derived this formula which I am temporarily

naming George Wilson's Modern Miracle.

[cough] - Woo!

It certainly is pungeant, isn't it?

[laughing]

- I wonder if it would do anything for me.

[laughing]

- This is all very interesting, but what we

really came by for was to see--

- Oh, of course, the famous plant itself!

Follow me.

- Ah!

Now, over in that flower bed, you

are about to witness one of the miracles of our time.

Why, I wouldn't be the least surprised

if it's grown several inches since I called you.

- Isn't this exciting, Mr. Fizby?

- Simply thrilling, Mrs. Schooner.

- Well, this way.

Haha!

Well, there it is.

To think, in 45 minutes, that plant

went from a mere 26 inches high--

- To a mere 22 inches high.

- Yes, 22 inches of perfect full-leaf beauty

and all its-- 22 inches?

Great Scott, Martha! It shrunk!

- Oh, dear!

- If this is your idea of a joke, Wilson--

- I don't understand.

Why, less than an hour ago, it was up to here.

Martha, it's shorter than it was this morning.

- Shame on you, Mr. Wilson.

And you almost had us believing you.

- Well, I-- I tell you, I--

- Well, I suppose we really should be running along.

- I have an idea.

Why don't we go in and have tea and brownies

while Mr. Wilson uses the plant food again.

- I really don't see what you-- did you say brownies?

- That's a wonderful idea, Martha.

And then when 45 minutes go by, we

can come out and look at the plant again.

- Well, I certainly see no harm in that.

- Fine! I'll put the water on.

- It is now exactly 23 and a quarter inches high.

- All right, Wilson, proceed.

- Uh.

Thirsty little devil, isn't she?

- Hi, Mr. Merrivale!

- What do you boys want?

- We want to buy a plant.

- Well, now what kind of plant are you interested in?

- We don't know what it's called, but it looks like a big weed.

- Here's one, Dennis.

- Oh, well that's a new variety of pander formis.

Yes sirree, boys.

That plant will cost you just exactly $4.75.

[whistles]

- Boy, that sure is a nice plant though, Tommy.

- Yeah.

Eh, how'd you like to pay for it?

Cash or by check?

- We'd like to pay as much as possible by frogs.

- Well, I guess that wouldn't be too-- by what?

- Frogs.

You can give one away with every fish pond you put in.

- They make great little pets.

- Out.

- They're kind and thoughtful.

- And eat bugs like crazy.

- Out.

- Besides, we've got $0.17, and $0.08,

and $0.39, which makes $0.64 all together.

- O-U-T, out!

- Mr. Merrivale, if you'd just take a look

at these cute little frogs--

- For the last time, please--

[ribbit] - Jeepers.

- Now you did it.

- Here, Agnes.

Here, boy.

- Here, Frank.

[ribbit]

- Get those frogs out of here.

- Don't yell, Mr. Merrivale.

You'll make them nervous.

- Good afternoon, Mr--

[ribbit]

[scream]

- Uh, Mrs. Johnson, wait!

- Mr. Fizby?

- Oh, Mrs. Wilson, one more brownie,

and I shall turn into one. - Come on.

Is the 45 minutes up yet?

- Precisely two minutes to go.

Though I, for one, consider this experiment

a ludicrous waste of time.

- Now, now, Mr. Trumble, it's only fair

that Mr. Wilson should be given his day in court, so to speak.

- Oh, thank you, Mrs. Schooner.

- Wasn't it swell of good old Mr. Merrivale

to sell us this plant for only $0.64, Tommy?

- Yeah.

And all we had to do was promise to take our frogs

and not come back until we're out of college.

- Now we'll put the caterpillar back, and we're all through.

Come on, Tommy.

We might as well take Sam's kids back to the fish pond for now.

- OK.

- Say, we must've left the frogs over in my yard.

- Oh, Martha, I can't look!

- If that plant has grown an inch,

I will eat my potted geranium leaf by-- amazing,

utterly amazing!

- I see it, but I can't believe it!

- MR. FIZBY (OFFSCREEN): I feel positively giddy.

- Martha, it's 29 inches!

- Oh, George!

- Wilson, we have done you a grave injustice.

- This is truly a superb achievement of man amongst men.

- Oh now, really.

- As a small token of affection, I make a motion

that we hereby declare Mr. Wilson a member of the Valley

Garden Club judging committee.

- Well--

- All in favor say I.

- I.

- Congratulations, dear.

- Thank you, Martha.

[clearing throat]

- I would like to say something.

Now as soon as George Wilson's Miracle Plant Food

is available for the garden lovers of the world,

the entire proceeds from the product

will go to our own beloved Garden Club.

- [inaudible] Bravo!

Bravo!

Perhaps we can get that fellow, Merrivale,

to handle the sale of the general public.

- Oh, oh, no, please.

Anybody but Merrivale.

Why, that old skinflint would even overcharge his own mother

for flowers on Mother's Day.

- I agree.

Personally, I wouldn't be a bit surprised

if he's the one who originally imported

the Japanese [inaudible].

- Now if it just doesn't start to shrink again.

- Shrink?

- It better not shrink, Tommy, or we'll

take it right back to Mr. Merrivale.

- Back to who, young man?

- Uh oh.

I think I've said too much already.

- Dennis, do you know something about this plant that I don't?

I stepped on your old plant by mistake, Mr. Wilson.

So Tommy and me bought you a new one.

- Oh, good grief!

- When did you boys put in that plant?

- Just a few minutes ago.

[laughing]

- Just think of it.

Haha.

We were all fooled into believing

the impossible by two little boys.

MRS. SCHOONER (OFFSCREEN): [laughing hysterically]

- Laugh, Tommy.

- Then you're not mad at us, Mr. Wilson?

- Oh, why, of course not, Dennis.

But knowing Mr. Merrivale, however, I'm

afraid this plant was very expensive.

- Boy, was it.

- We never would've gotten it if it

wasn't for the frogs we took over to trade.

- You mean you traded Merrivale the frogs for the plant?

- Not exactly, but he sure got all excited about them.

- Well, you don't say.

- Boys, where are your frogs now?

- There they are.

After them, Tommy.

- Oh, if that old pirate Merrivale

is interested in those frogs, he must have a good reason.

- The question is, what could he want them for?

- Could it be because they eat garden pests?

- Why, of course, Martha!

- Mr. Wilson, do you actually believe--

- Of course I do.

Why, those frogs eat harmful garden pests.

- And that old meanie, no doubt, expects

to get those frogs for next to nothing

and sell them to garden lovers like us at outrageous prices.

- Young man, I'll give you $0.50 for one of those frogs.

- You will?

- You can put me down for one also.

- I'll take two of the icky little creatures.

- Oh, boy.

You collect the money, and I'll pass out the frogs.

- OK.

[ribbit]

- Just a minute, Dennis.

- Goodbye, Agnes. [ribbit]

- Goodbye, Clyde.

- Clyde.

- Goodbye, Jimmy.

[ribbit]

- Goodbye, Mr. Wilson. [ribbit]

- Oh, Mr. Wilson's a slimy one, isn't he?

Oh, no offense meant.

- Oh, I should so like to see the look on Mr. Merrivale's face

when he hears about this.

- Yes, sir.

This time, we certainly did put one over on the old pirate.

[ribbit]

- We told Mr. Merrivale those frogs would make swell pets,

but he wouldn't even take them for nothing.

- What?

- Come on!

- OK.

- Boys, come back here.

[door slamming]

- Here's Clyde.

- Ah, Great Scott!

Martha. [ribbit]

[theme music]

- This has been a Screen Gems Film Production

from the Hollywood Studios of Columbia Pictures.