Original subtitles

- Hey, Grandma, have you seen Horace?

- Have I seen who, dear?

- Horace, my turtle.

[telephone ringing]

- Oh, I'll get it, mother.

That must be the call I put through to Alice.

- Oh, boy.

I'll get on the phone upstairs.

- Hello?

- Henry?

- Hi, honey, how are you?

- Hi, mom.

I'm on the phone in your room.

- Hello, dear.

Are you behaving yourself?

- Jeepers, and how.

The only time I'm any better is when I'm sick.

- Oh.

- How's your father, Alice?

- Oh, his foot's coming along nicely, dear.

- Hey, dad, you keeping anything alive in your room up here?

- Am I what?

- Dear, what are you talking about?

- There's a big lump moving around in dad's bed.

- A lump?

- Hey, dad!

I found Horace!

[theme music]

- The meeting of the Elm Street Club will now come to order.

- I'm to order.

- You don't have to say that, Tommy.

When you're sitting down, you're to order-- anybody knows that.

- OK, Dennis.

- Hi, kids.

What kind of dumb game are you playing?

- We're having a club meeting, Johnny.

Want to join?

- I got no time for kid's stuff like that.

I'm too busy building my racer for the big soap-box derby.

- What's that?

- You sure don't know much.

They're having a race on Park Hill next week,

with a prize for the guy that goes down the hill the fastest.

- In a soap box?

Jeepers, won't you get full of splinters?

- You put wheels on the box, dopey.

The prize is a real keen electric train set.

- Boy, I need an electric train set.

Could I be in the race?

- It wouldn't do you any good, I'm going to win the prize.

- How do you know you're gonna?

- Because my dad's helping me build my racer,

and he knows how to build things better than anybody else.

He told me so.

- I can try to win.

- OK, if you want to waste your time.

- Boy, the Johnny Brady sure thinks he's smart.

- I'll show him.

I'll build a soap-box racer that'll beat his all to pieces.

- How do you build one?

- Well, you just find a soap box and start building.

Say, maybe good old Mr. Wilson's got one.

Should we go ask him?

- I'd rather wait up in the tree house.

- Wait a minute, Tommy.

The meeting's not over.

When you belong to a club, you got to do things right.

- OK.

- The meeting of the Elm Street Club is now out of order.

- Oh, Martha, look, I finally got it.

The Five cent Magenta to complete my Rhodesia set.

It's a fine, uncancelled stamp.

- That's nice, dear.

- Hello, Mr. Wilson!

- Oh!

Well, that cancels it.

Oh, Dennis, may we cut this visit short, please?

- If you just give me a soap box, I'll get right out.

- What do you want with a soap box?

- I'm going to build a racer and win

an electric train in the soap-box derby.

- I read about that in the paper.

The Chamber of Commerce is putting it on.

- Well, Dennis, if you want a soap box,

you came to the wrong place.

- Where's the right place?

- Oh, for the love of-- use your head.

What comes in a soap box?

- Soap?

- Right the first time.

And do you know where to get soap?

- Sure.

- Well, then that's where you'll find a soap box.

- In my bathroom?

- No, in a store where they sell soap.

- You mean like Mr. Quigley's market?

- Right the first time.

- That was the second time.

- Well, I lost count.

But I'm sure Mr. Quigley will give you one

if you will ask him politely.

- Oh, boy, swell.

I'll be so polite he won't even hardly know me.

- Dennis, what do you want?

- A soap box.

I'm going to build a racer and win

the soap-box derby next week.

- Oh, here you are.

Now run along.

Yes, Mr. Elkin?

- Jeepers, is this a soap box?

- Well, it's a box.

Actually, tomato juice came in it.

- I can't use this.

It's not a tomato juice box derby.

Haven't you got an empty soap box?

- No, I haven't.

Now, you'll have to get one someplace else.

Yes, Mrs. Elkin.

- Maybe there's a soap box you don't know about.

Can I look?

- Suit yourself, but you won't find any.

- Oh, excuse me Mrs. Johnson.

- Oh, that's all right, Dennis.

- Boy, I knew I'd find one.

- Goodbye.

- Mr. Quigley, I found a soap box right over there.

- Oh, that box just came in, Dennis.

I've only sold a few bars.

You can't have it.

- Why not?

- Because I'll need it until I sell the soap.

Now run along.

- When you're all through with it, can I have it?

- It might take me a month to sell 100 bars of soap, Dennis.

- But the race is next week.

- Well, I can't help that.

I'll take those.

- How's, uh, Dusty, Mrs. Johnson?

- Who?

- Your boy.

We call him Dusty because he's always

falling down and getting it all over him.

- Why, that's awful.

- We probably wouldn't call him that if he bathed a lot.

How about buying 100 bars of soap--

- Dennis.

- If I don't get that soap box, I can't win the race.

- Pardon me, Mrs. Johnson.

- Here, it's all yours.

Now take it and go!

- I knew you'd help me, Mr. Quigley.

You're a nice man who likes kids.

- Hi there, Mitchell boy.

- Oh, hi, Brady.

- Say, uh, how about doing me a little favor?

- Glad to.

What is it?

- There's an article in last month's "Industrial Journal"

I'd like to check.

You, uh, keep your back issues?

- Sure, I've got them all at home.

- Like to read it over the weekend.

You going to be home tomorrow?

- You bet I am.

Saturday's the best chance I have

to spend a little time with Dennis.

- Dennis?

Oh sure, how is the little toddler?

- Well, he isn't little anymore.

And I'd hardly say he was a toddler,

unless hurricanes toddle.

- Oh, really?

Last time I saw him he looked kind of pale and puny.

- Dennis is in perfect health.

- Well, I guess I was just comparing him with my own boy.

What a powerhouse that Johnny is--

a real chip off the old block.

- I'll bet he is.

- You won't find a stronger, sturdier kid anywhere.

Am all-American boy.

You know what he's doing right now?

- Enlisting in the Marines?

- Ha, ha, ha, very funny.

No, there's a soap-box derby next week,

and he's already got the winning car half-built.

It'll make those other racers look sick.

- You seem pretty positive that he'll win.

- I don't see how he can lose.

I'm helping him win it myself.

- Oh really, I didn't think fathers were allowed to help.

- Well, they're not in the national derby,

but this is just a local affair.

Yes, sir, we're a cinch to cap the prize.

- Well, bully for you.

- Soap-box racing's a fine sport.

Too bad your little fella isn't, uh, husky enough for it.

- Yes, unfortunate.

- Well, he must take after you.

You're no Tarzan yourself.

Uh, see you tomorrow, Mitchell boy.

- He's having a lot of fun.

There it is.

- Oh, so Dennis is all steamed up about winning

that soap-box derby, huh? - That's all he talks about.

He's out now scouring the neighborhood for wheels.

- Oh, I'm tickled to death.

That'll show that Brady that my son's not so pale and puny.

- Did Mr. Brady actually say that?

- From the top of his leather lungs.

This will quiet him down when Dennis beats that overgrown

hulk of a kid of his next week. - Oh, Henry.

- Gram-- oh, hi, dad!

- Hi, son!

- Gee, I'm glad you're home.

Have you got any wheels.

- Well, not on me.

- You know what that is?

It's a soap box, and I'm going to put wheels on it.

And next week, I'm going to ride it down Park Hill

and win an electric train.

- I know, grandma told me all about it.

Say, uh, how'd you like me to help you build it?

- Oh, boy!

That'd be swell!

Come on, let's get started.

- No, no, no, hold it!

Just take it easy.

It's too late to do anything tonight.

But, uh, tomorrow's Saturday, and we'll

get to work bright and early in the morning, OK?

- Isn't there something we can do right now?

- Well, um, I'll call the hardware store

and see what kind of wheels they have.

Don't you worry, we'll have a first class racer

before you know it.

- We sure will.

I'm going over and tell good old Mr. Wilson about it.

And we're starting bright and early in the morning,

and it's going to be first class.

- Isn't that nice, dear?

- Oh, that's fine, fine.

- Would you like to help me and dad build it?

- Well, thank you Dennis, but I'll be very busy here.

- Doing what?

- Well, I haven't made up my mind yet.

Now, I'm sure your dinner must be ready for you.

- OK.

Watch, this is how I'll go zooming down Park Hill

next week. Rrrrrr!

- Of all the ridiculous things-- asking if I'd like to help

them build a soap-box racer.

- Well, I don't know George.

It might be a good idea.

You've sort of been at loose ends

lately looking for something to do.

- Well, I'm certainly not looking for anything as childish

as that, my dear.

I might as well take up hopscotch or mumblety-peg.

- Well, it was just a suggestion.

We'll forget about it.

- Me, build a silly soap-box racer?

But if I did build one, Martha, it'd

be a lot better than anything they throw together.

- I'm sure it would.

- Oh, you should have seen the soap-box racers

I built when I was a lad-- smooth, graceful.

I'd jump in and sail down those hills like a big bird.

Oh, but those days are past.

- Would you want them back?

- Oh, don't talk nonsense, Martha.

I'm a responsible adult-- a man of mature dignity.

Naturally, I no longer have the same reactions or emotions

I had 40 years ago, or say even 20 years ago.

No, everything has changed.

- Everything, George?

- Oh, well, of course, my dear, there are exceptions.

- Boy, this is going to be the swellest racer

in the whole world.

- Oh, here, let me help you.

- I bet I'll go down that old hill about 100 miles an hour.

- Well, more or less.

- Well, I'll drive that one for you, dad.

- OK.

- Gee whiz, these are the bendiest nails I ever saw.

- They sure are.

I tell you what, we need some more wood.

Why don't you take your hammer and go knock that box apart

for me? - OK, dad.

I'm sure glad you're helping me.

I never would get this racer built

if you weren't helping out.

[hammering]

- Mitchell is certainly making enough noise

with that silly soap-box racer of his.

Why, I could build a five-room house

with less hammering than that.

- Why don't you go over and help them, George?

- Martha, I told you last night, that kind of foolishness

is just a silly waste of time for a grown man.

Besides, Mitchell hasn't asked me.

- You know he'd be glad to have you, dear.

- Martha I am not the type who forces himself on people.

Goodness knows, he could use some expert help.

Ha, why, Mitchell can't even drive a nail straight.

- Well, maybe his tools aren't as good as yours, dear.

Maybe if he had your tools--

- Martha, why, that's a very neighborly idea.

Why, the least I can do is let him borrow my tools.

I'll go down to the basement right now and--

- I brought them up for you this morning, dear, just in case.

- Oh, Martha.

- Gee, you sure are nice to lend us your tools, Mr. Wilson.

- Yes, we'll take good care of them.

Well, we just got our hood on-- took a bit of doing.

What do you think of our little racer so far?

- Well, as long as you asked me, you're

doing the whole thing wrong.

- We are?

Gee, do you think we better start all over?

- Well, uh, I don't think it's necessary to--

- The first thing you've got to do,

Mitchell, is streamline this hood.

- Oh, boy, I'd love to have a streamlined hood.

Let's streamline it, dad.

- Well, I, I could cut it down a little.

I just hate to waste the time--

- Oh, no trouble at all, Mitchell.

No trouble at all, I'll be glad to show you.

Now look--

Oh, I'll get it, Mitchell.

- Oh, boy, that sure is streamlined.

- Oh, it'll practically eliminate wind resistance when we--

- Henry, here's Mr. Brady.

- Oh, hi, Brady.

- Your mother gave me that magazine I wanted,

Mitchell boy, just came out to say thanks.

- That's OK.

- Dennis, I want you to go to the market.

I need some sugar right away.

- Oh, grandma.

- To finish baking some cookies.

- Well, OK.

Oh, Mr. Brady, tell Johnny I'm building a soap-box racer, too.

- Is that a racer?

I thought you guys were building a wheelbarrow.

- What do you mean?

Of course this isn't a wheelbarrow.

- Well, if you turn it over and put some handles on it,

it'd sure make a good one.

- Well, it's obvious you know nothing

about basic racer design, Brady, or you

wouldn't make a crack like that.

- He's just joking, Mr. Wilson.

- Sure, but, uh, seriously Mitchell,

I'd keep that little boy of yours out of it if I were you.

I mean, I'd hate to see the kid crying

when my boy sweeps the field.

- Oh now, look, you don't have to worry about my son crying.

- Of course not.

Dennis is just a good a loser as anybody.

Oh, I mean, no, Dennis is going to be the winner.

- I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

- In that hunk of junk?

Would you care to make a little bet, Mitchell?

- Well, I--

- You're darn right he'd like to make a little bet.

Go on and tell him, Mitchell.

- Well, Mr. Wilson, I don't think so--

- Scared, huh?

I thought so.

- I'm not scared, it's just that I--

- Of course he's not scared, he just

hates to take your money, that's all.

- Yeah.

No, that's not it!

- But he will take your money.

You just name it, Brady.

- All right, I'll bet you $10, Mitchell.

- $10, that's pretty steep.

- Of course it's pretty cheap.

If you're going to make a bet with a man, Brady,

make a bet with him.

Put your money where your mouth is.

- He's the one who's trying to back out of this.

I always did say you were chicken, Mitchell,

and this proves it.

- Oh, is that so?

Well, we'll just see who's chicken.

I'll take that $10 bet.

- Care to make it $20?

- Why no?

- What are you, a piker?

If you're so darn brave, why don't you make it $50?

- I will make it $50.

- $50!

Right, Mitchell.

- Well, I--

- $50 that our car goes faster than his car does,

and I'm a witness to that.

- That's a deal.

I'll see you at the soap-box derby, Mitchell,

and bring your $50 with you.

- Duh.

- $50, $50 bet?

I must be out of my mind.

- Hm?

Oh, well, you did seem to get a little bit carried

away there, Mitchell.

But, but, don't you worry.

I'm with you all the way.

- It looks a lot better than yesterday, doesn't it dad?

- Yeah.

- Mitchell, you'll never get it nailed properly that way.

Come here, help me.

Help me lift it up onto the sawhorses.

- Boy, Mr. Wilson knows everything about building cars,

huh dad?

- Yes, I don't know what we'd do without him.

- Careful construction, that's the key.

Yes, sir.

Everything good and solid.

We want this thing safe as well as speedy.

Heh, hey, that ought to hold it.

Now, let's--

- Hey, look at that!

You know what, Mr. Wilson, you nailed it to the sawhorse.

- My, the racer looks wonderful.

George, your lunch is ready.

- Be with you in a minute, Martha.

- We're sure getting it painted swell, aren't we?

- Yes, you're getting everything painted, Dennis.

- He usually manages to get most of the paint on himself,

you know how it is with kids.

- Yes, they're all alike.

Come along, dear.

I think you boys did a fine job, and I'm

sure Dennis will win tomorrow.

- He didn't want to leave it in the garage all night.

Somebody might steal it, he said.

- Where is Dennis, mother?

- Oh, he'll be right here.

I took him downtown today, and he

has a little surprise for you.

And when you see--

- Grandma, I'm ready!

- Come on down, dear.

- How do I look?

- Wow! - Well.

- Wonderful.

Just wonderful.

- And the winner is, car number 8 with Dennis Mitchell driving.

Yippee! [applause]

- Mickey went down that hill like a streak.

Did you see it?

- Boy, he really took off.

- Yes.

- Isn't it exciting?

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): Car number 17,

Mickey Haskell driving.

23 and 3/10 seconds.

- That's no threat.

The fastest time so far is still 21 seconds.

- Dennis ought to be able to beat that, I hope.

Of course, the one I really want him to beat is--

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): The next entry is car number

12, Johnny Brady driving.

- That's the one.

- Here we go, son.

- Boy, that sure is a swell looking car, Johnny.

- Sure, what'd you expect?

- That's the car that's going to take

your money, Mitchell-- the Brady Special.

- It'll take more than looks to win, Brady.

It's the fastest car, remember, not the prettiest.

- I tell you what, Dennis, just so you won't feel too bad,

I'll let you have a look at my electric train after I win.

- Swell, Johnny.

And if I win, I'll let you look at it.

[cheers]

- Come on!

Come on, boy!

[cheers]

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): Car number 12,

Johnny Brady driving.

The time is 19 and 1/2 seconds.

- Wow!

19 and a half, that's the winner.

You want to pay off now, Mitchell?

- The race isn't over yet, Brady.

The fast car hasn't run yet.

- Ha, ha, ha. - I'm next, dad.

I'm the last one.

Come on.

- Get that oil can, Tommy.

- Good luck, Dennis.

Be careful and don't go too fast.

- What?

- I mean, be careful.

- I will, Mrs. Wilson.

Oh, boy!

- Oh, just a minute, Dennis.

Mitchell, get that back wheel, will you?

I've got to give Dennis some last minute instructions.

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): The last entry

is car number 8, driven by Dennis Mitchell.

- Oh, that's us, Dennis.

Now listen to me, this is very important.

- Yes, sir?

- Now, when you get in that car, I

want you to sit low and eliminate all possible wind

resistance.

- Sit low and do what?

- Eliminate wind resistance.

You see, the airflow over the body creates drag.

Now, we want a silhouette that offers as little resistance,

aerodynamically, as possible.

Because we-- oh, I'm not getting through to you.

Dennis, look, here, I'll show you how to sit.

- Swell, Mr. Wilson.

You show me and I'll do it because--

- Oh, for heaven's sakes. - What's the matter?

- Oh, there's a loose nail here, Dennis.

Hurry up, hand me a hammer.

- We didn't bring a hammer, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, well then, hand me a board or anything

that I can drive this nail-- anything at all.

- Here you are, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, no!

- Wow, look at him go!

Sit low, Mr. Wilson!

Sit low!

Gee, he told me to hand him that board, dad.

I didn't know good old Mr. Wilson was

going to be in the race himself.

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN):

comes, car number 8, Dennis Mitchell.

[cheers]

- It looks like-- yes, it is, a record time!

Car number 8 has just made the run in 18 and 1/2 seconds.

Driven by--

[laughing]

Who is driving that car? [laughing]

- Oh, how embarrassing.

Let me out of this thing.

Great Scott!

Oh, oh!

- Just look at it, Martha, plastered right

on the front page.

- The oldest soap-box derby driver in history.

Oh dear.

- He sure looks like a real race driver, doesn't he, dad?

- Yes, he does, son.

Now, you run out and play with Tommy.

- I'm going to hang this picture on my wall right over my bed.

So will you autograph it for me, Mr. Wilson?

- Oh, well, now, Dennis, I-- you, you really

do want my autograph, do you?

- Sure I do.

You're the only real celebrity I know.

- Well, all right, Dennis.

I'll be glad to autograph it for you.

I'm just sorry that everything got so messed up

and your car was disqualified, and that Johnny Brady

won the prize.

- Oh, that's all right, Mr. Wilson.

- He doesn't mind a bit.

- Heck no.

I guess it's kind of a good thing that Johnny won anyhow.

His dad gets awful mad at him when he doesn't win.

[doorbell] Oh, I'll get it.

- I know how you feel, Mr. Wilson,

but you did a great thing for me.

Why, it was your ride that won the bet from Brady.

- $50!

- Ha, ha!

He kicked like a steer, the sorehead,

but I made him pay up.

The fastest car in the race-- that was the bet, nothing

was said about who drove it.

- And you looked wonderful, dear--

like a regular Barney Oldfield.

- I told you I was going to win, Dennis.

Boy, you sure goofed.

- Is that your electric train?

Let's see it.

- It's got an engine with three cars.

And when I put the track together,

it'll go clear around in a circle.

- Oh no, don't touch it.

Nobody plays with this train but me.

- That's OK, Johnny.

I'll play with my own electric train.

- Yours? You got one, too?

You got one, too? - Sure.

[train whistle]

[train whistle]

Isn't that a dandy?

It cost $50.

- $50?

Where'd you get that much money?

- From your dad.

- What?

- He gave it to my dad for a present

because good old Mr. Wilson rode my racer so fast.

[train whistle]

ANNOUNCER: This has been a Screen Gems Film Production

from the Hollywood Studios of Columbia Pictures.