All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S02E08.Henry.and.Togetherness.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

- Hi, Mom.

- Hello, dear.

- Dad, when do you smoke cigars?

- Well, when I smoke
them, I usually

smoke them after dinner.

- Is that the best time?

- I think so.

- OK, that's when
I'll smoke mine.

Let's eat.

- What?

- Where did you get that?

- Over at the McDonalds.

- I don't care if Mrs.
McDonald did have her baby,

Mr. McDonald shouldn't
give him a cigar.

- He didn't give it to me.

Mrs. McDonald had triplets,
and he went to bed.

Joey's passing them out for him.

[theme music]

[doorbell]

- Don't ask Mr. Wilson how many
fish he caught down at the lake

this morning, Tommy.

- Why not?

- Because he didn't catch any
again, and that's why we gotta

cheer him up.

- Oh, good gravy,
it starts again.

What do you want, boys?

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

You know what I'm gonna do?

- No, I don't know,
and I don't care,

and I'd be just as happy
if you didn't tell me.

- I'm going to sleep at
Tommy's house tonight.

Wow, am I excited.

- Oh, good.

- We're gonna sleep on the floor.

- Aha.

- There's gonna be eight of us.

- Eight?

Ugh.

- We're gonna tell ghost stories.

- And drink root beer.

So you wanna come over?

- No, I don't.

Now, will you boys please go
away and stop bothering me?

- I guess ghost
stories scare him.

- Mr. Wilson?

Heck, no.

Nothing scares Mr. Wilson.

- Then why'd he turn us down?

- Well, probably
Mrs. Wilson won't

let him stay out all night,
and he didn't want us to know.

- Let's ask him if he
can stay 'til 9 o'clock.

- OK.

Anybody ought to be able
to stay 'til 9 o'clock.

- Unless they're being
punished for something.

- All right, what now?

- You wanna come
over 'til 9 o'clock?

- No.

- My dad can walk you home.

- Great Scott!

- Wanna go over to my
house and get a cookie?

- Sure.
Won't your mom care?

- Not unless she's
in the kitchen.

Come on.

- Well, that just about does it.

- Oh, the house looks
really nice, honey.

- Yes, thanks to you.

No thanks to Dennis.

- Oh, he didn't mean to
tip over that planter.

- Oh, I know, but it didn't
help the carpet any.

- Well, it's all cleaned up now,
and the house looks immaculate.

- Oh, I just hope we
can keep it this way

until the company comes.

[crash]

- Jeepers!

- I'm going to find out.

Oh, Henry, it's the cookie jar.

- I know who's
responsible for that.

Dennis?
Dennis?

- Were you calling me, Dad?

- You know very well
I was calling you.

- I'll bet you want to
ask me about that old,

worn out cookie jar, huh, Dad.

- I certainly do, and
it wasn't worn out.

- How did it happen?

- You mean, uh, how did
it get itself broken?

- I mean, how did you break it?

- Well, uh, I guess
it happened kind

of like when me and you
were playing catch, Dad.

You know how when you throw
me the ball and I drop it,

you laugh and laugh and then
you call me butterfingers?

- Don't tell me you were playing
catch with the cookie jar.

- Heck, no.

I was just getting it off
the shelf, and I dropped it.

I was just an old butterfingers.

Remember how you used
to laugh and laugh

when you'd call
me butterfingers?

- Uh, this isn't quite
the same thing, Dennis.

Uh, I realize that
accidents can happen,

but you've got to
be more careful.

- Especially after
your father just

washed and waxed the
kitchen floor for me.

- Oh, me and Tommy will
clean it up for you, Mom.

- Never mind, Dennis.
I'll clean it up myself.

But I warn you-- one
more mess like this,

and you can forget about staying
at Tommy's house tonight.

- But jeepers, Mom, I've
been looking forward to it

for a week.

- Well then, for the
rest of the day,

you'd better be very careful
that nothing else happens

like that planter
or this cookie jar.

- Oh, I'll be plenty
careful from now on, boy.

Have you got the
company towels out, Mom?

- Yes, I have.

- Well, I won't use them.

In fact, I won't use any towel.

- What?

- I'm going to keep
the bathroom clean.

I won't even wash.

- He's making a great
personal sacrifice.

- Oh, yes, and saving soap too.

- You're darn right.

Hey, Dad, you wanna go out
in front and play some catch?

- Not now, son.

I'm going in to take a little
rest, then I'm going out

and play some golf.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Aw, jeepers.

- Your father deserves the
afternoon off, Dennis.

He's been working
hard all morning.

You and Tommy go out and play.

- OK, Mom, we'll go
get my baseball stuff.

Come on, Tommy.

- Dennis, be sure to
keep your room neat.

That's where the
guests are going

to hang their
things this evening.

- OK, Mom.

- Are you sure you won't need me
anymore this afternoon, honey?

- Even if I did, I wouldn't
let you stay home.

You've done enough.

- You know, I must say
I'm looking forward

to getting out on the
golf course again.

It's been over two months.

- I know.

You keep planning to go, but
you always change your mind.

- Jeepers, I've never seen
it this clean before.

- Me neither.

It kinda makes feel like
I'm in Mom and Dad's room.

- How long are you gonna
have to keep it this way?

- Just 'til tomorrow.

The party'll be over, and
I'll be back from your house.

- Hey, how about letting
me have first steps once?

- Jeepers, Tommy, I'm
trying to help you.

Now, if you watch me,
you'll learn how to swing.

Whoops!

- Hey, look what happened.

You're making a mess.

- Catch the water in
your hands, Tommy!

- When your mom finds out
you made another mess,

you won't be able to
stay at my house tonight.

- I haven't made a mess so far.

- You're going to.

Those shoes won't hold much.

- You catch the water in
my shoe while I go down

and get some pots and pans.

- Well, hurry up.

I think it's starting
to come faster.

- Hi, Mom.

- Hi, Dennis.

Where are your shoes?

- Oh, did you notice I'm
not wearing my shoes, Mom?

- Yes, I did.

Where are they?

- Up in my room.

- Well, be sure to put them
on before you go outdoors.

- OK, Mom.

Hey look, Mom,
just like a helmet.

OK if I take one for
me and one for Tommy?

- No, Dennis, not today.

- But jeepers, Mom, I--

- Dennis, I need those things.

I have a lot to prepare
for the party tonight.

- OK, I'll find something else.

- Oh, Dennis, I want you to
take this egg beater back over

to Mrs. Wilson.

- You mean, like later, Mom?

- I mean, like right now.

- Well, maybe Dad
would like to do it.

Then, he can talk to
Mr. Wilson for a while.

- Your father is
in the living room

taking a rest before
his golf game.

Now, scoot.

- Jeepers.

- And be sure to
put on your shoes.

- Jeepers, Tommy, I gotta go over
to Mr. Wilson's for a minute.

- Well, hurry up.

I can hardly handle this.
- I'll be as fast as I can.

- You shouldn't leave the
fishhook on your line

here in the house, George.

It could hook onto something.

- Well, I'm just going to
take it off now, Martha.

I didn't bother to
remove it this morning,

because I was
anxious to get home

to your very fine breakfast.

[doorbell]

- Oh, I hope that's the
store delivering my new hat.

I want to wear it tonight.

- Over to the Mitchells?

But they're just next door.

- Well, you don't want me
catching a head cold, do you?

Besides, the clerk
said in a Homburg

I look just like Anthony Eden.

No, uh-uh.

You can't come in now, Dennis.

- I don't want to come in.

Mom asked me to return
this to Mrs. Wilson.

Goodbye.

- Dennis.

- Oh, Martha.

- I gotta go, Mrs. Wilson.

- I just want you to take
this book to your father.

- He hasn't got time to
read today, Mrs. Wilson.

He's gonna play golf.

- Dennis, I just want
to return it to him.

- Well, OK.

- Dennis, what in the world have
you got those things on for?

- Because my mom told me not
to come over here barefoot.

- Yes, but why-- oh, never mind.

- Here you are, dear.

Tell your father I enjoyed it
very much and thank him for me.

- You're welcome, Mrs. Wilson.

Bye.

- Goodbye, dear.

- Ah, ah, ah.

Be careful, Dennis.

- Goodbye, Mr. Wilson!

- Oh, great Scott!

He's got it caught in his pants!

Dennis!

Dennis, wait!

Dennis, be careful.

That's a fishhook.

- I got it.

Hey, Mom, where'd you
get that swell bowl?

- That's a punchbowl, dear.

I borrowed that
from Miss Cathcart.

It's very old.

It used to belong
to her grandmother.

- Does it leak?

- Of course not.

As a matter of fact,
it's very valuable.

- Do you want me to
keep it upstairs

so nothing will happen to it?

- No, Dennis.

I'm going to serve punch
from right here on the table.

- You know, that sure
would look nice.

- Would look nice?

- If it wasn't right in the
middle of those two vases

that don't match it.

- You know, Dennis, you're right.

You're becoming a very
discerning young man.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Thanks, Mom.

- Boy, I thought
you'd never get here.

- Me too.

You're doing a swell job, Tommy.

- I know it.

Hey, are we going to have to
keep this up all afternoon?

- Just 'til Dad goes
to play golf and I

figure how to get
Mom out of the house.

- What good will that do?

- Then, we can put the water
and the fish into the bathtub.

- Your mom would say that
was a mess, I bet you.

- Well, we'd just
leave them there

'til we figure some
way to fix the tank.

Now, if anybody was fixing
the street around here,

maybe we could get some tar.

- Well, I'll tell you
one thing, Martha.

I don't intend to let
Mitchell go golfing and leave

Dennis on my hands.

- George Wilson, you've
been tricking Mitchell

out of playing golf for
the last two months.

- Well, I know, and I
intend to do it again.

After all, Dennis
is Mitchell's child.

He can just stay home and
take the consequences.

- Oh, George.

- You know what I
feel like, Tommy?

I feel like we're
that kid in Holland

that stuck his
finger in the dike.

- I never could figure out
why he didn't use a cork.

- Yeah, I'll bet his
finger got all puckered.

[horn honks]

- Oh, boy, there's that
dumb old Margaret again.

Go on home, Margaret!

- I'll wait for you,
Dennis Mitchell!

- She's always wanting
to play house.

- I know it.

Every time she comes
over to my house,

I squirt her with the hose.

- You shouldn't do that, Tommy.

Your mother doesn't like
you playing with a hose.

[doorbell]

- Oh, hello, Mr. Wilson.

- Mitchell.

- Won't you come in?

- Oh.

Uh, can I interest you in a
game of chess this afternoon?

- Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.
I've got a golf date.

Do you know I haven't
played in over two months?

- Oh, really?

- Something always
seems to come up.

- Well, now, you
shouldn't let it.

I mean, you work
hard during the week.

You deserve a little relaxation.

All work and no play, you know.

- Well, I'm getting
out there today,

and nothing's gonna stop me.

- That's the spirit.

Uh, taking Dennis along
as caddy, I suppose?

- Oh, no.
He's not big enough.

- Aw, now that's too bad.

But then, I suppose you
see Dennis in the evenings

during the week.

- Oh, yes, of course.

We have lots of fun together.

- Of course you do.

Well, it's just going
to be great out there

on that golf course
today, Mitchell.

- It sure is.

- It's good exercise.

You'll enjoy the green grass,
the trees, the fresh air,

the good fellowship.

- Yup.

- You know, my dad
never played golf.

He and I used to go to
the park on Saturdays,

just the two of us.

Together.

Pals.

We used to sail my
little boat on the pond,

feed the pigeons
and the squirrels,

ride the merry-go-round,
the roller

coaster, the miniature train.

- It sounds like fun.

- Oh, well, what we
did wasn't important.

What counted was being with Dad.

Oh, that means so much to a boy.

- Yes, I guess it does.

- Yes.

After I was grown,
Dad always used

to say that he
was glad that he'd

shared my growing years with me.

My years of discovery,
he used to call them.

Dad used to say that
a childhood was short.

It was precious.

And once it was gone,
it was gone forever.

Oh, dear old Dad, the
kindest, most unselfish man

that ever lived.

Well, I won't keep
you, Mitchell.

I know you're just dying to
get out there and tee off.

- I'm just going up
and change my clothes.

- That's that spirit.

You know, you need a
little variety, a chance

to get away from
the cares and, uh,

responsibilities of your family.

You have a good game.

- You know, I think
I'll stay home.

- Oh, really?

- I can get in a game some
morning before breakfast.

- Well, now, that's--
that's up to you, Mitchell.

Up to you.

I'll see you later.

- See you tonight, Mr. Wilson.

Dennis.

- Yes, Dad?

HENRY (OFFSCREEN): I've
decided not to play golf.

How about a game of catch?

- Take it.

Jeepers, Dad, wouldn't
you rather play golf?

HENRY (OFFSCREEN): Oh, I'd
rather spend the day with you.

Come on down.

- I can't just this minute, Dad.

HENRY (OFFSCREEN):
OK, I'll come up.

- Never mind, Dad, I'm coming.

- Did I hear you right?

- You did.

I'm cancelling my golf date.

Mr. Wilson didn't
realize it, but he's

made me see that
I'm not spending

enough time with my son.

- Yeah, Dad?

- Ha!

Butterfingers!

- Yeah.

Do you want to stop now, Dad?

Is your arm getting tired?

- Not a bit.

Let's keep going.

- OK, here's a hard one.

Oops.

Sorry, Dad.

- That's OK.

I'll go get it.

- Here comes Mitchell with
his big feet again tramping

through my flower bed.

- He doesn't step on
the flowers, George.

Besides, it's your own fault.

He wouldn't be playing
catch with Dennis

if you hadn't talked him
out of his golf game.

- Hmph.

Well, with that family, I
lose no matter what I do.

You know, Martha,
there's one thing

I can't understand-- why Dennis
heads for the house every time

Mitchell comes after the ball.

- How are you doing, Tommy?

- You've gotta take
over for a while.

My arms are tired.

- Oh, I wish Dad's were.

He never gets tired.

He's got arms like an elephant.

HENRY (OFFSCREEN): Dennis!

Dennis!

Come on out, butterfingers.

Oh, Margaret, that's a beauty.

- Hi, Mr. Mitchell.
Is Dennis home?

- Yes, we've been playing catch.

- Can I play too?

- Well, Margaret, baseball is a--

- Nobody's wanted to
play with me all day.

- Of course you can
play with us, Margaret.

Come on.

We'll go in and see
what's holding Dennis up.

- OK.

And maybe afterwards,
he'll play house with me.

- Dennis, hurry up!

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
I'll be right down, Dad.

- Hi, Margaret.

Come on in and tell me what
you think of my centerpiece.

- Gee, it's pretty,
Mrs. Mitchell.

- It's a lovely
arrangement, honey.

- Oh, just one of
my minor talents.

- We women have to know how
to do all kinds of things,

don't we, Mrs. Mitchell.

- We certainly do, Margaret.

- Yesterday, I learned
how to separate eggs.

- Well, good for you.

- Are you having fun, dear?

- Well, uh, to tell you the
truth, my arm is killing me.

But that's not important.

The important thing is that I'm
spending the day with my son,

sharing in all of
his activities.

- Sorry I kept you waiting, Dad.

Hey, what's she doing here?

- Dennis, that's no way
to talk to Margaret.

- You apologize, son.

- OK, I apologize.

But what are you doing
here anyway, Margaret?

- Dennis!

- That's OK, Mrs. Mitchell.

That's the way men are.

I guess I'll just go home
and separate some more eggs.

- Hey, Margaret, is that
bubblegum you're chewing?

- Sure, two pieces.

- You got any extra?

- No.

- Hey, Margaret, have you
ever seen my guppies?

- No.

- They've got babies.

- Babies?

- Fish babies.

- You better show them to me.

- I'll be back in a minute, Dad.

You know, Margaret,
you're a swell little kid.

- I'm a girl.

- Oh, that's OK.

I like you anyway.

Listen, Margaret, give it to me.

- I will not.

It's not sanitary.

- I don't want to chew it.

I want to fix the tank.

- If he makes a mess, he won't
be able to stay at my house

tonight.

- What'll you give me?

- Jeepers, I'll give
you my pea shooter.

- That's not sanitary either.

- All right, what do you want?

- I want you to
play house with me.

- OK.

Someday, I'll play
house with you.

Give me the gum.
- It's got to be tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?

Jeepers.

- All day.

- All day?

- I'll fix lunch.

- Tommy, I just don't think
I'm coming over tonight.

- My mom baked a cake.
Chocolate.

Chocolate?

- Make up your mind.

- All right, gimme the gum.

I'll play house with you.

- You ruined your life, and it
may not even stop the leak.

- It's gotta work.

- It works!

- Yeah, isn't that swell?

And I didn't make a mess.

- Now, you can come over tonight.

- Sure.

And I've got a swell
ghost story to tell.

It's about a black
cat with red eyes.

What are you standing
there for, Margaret?

- I don't think it's gonna hold.

- Sure it'll hold.

Of course, it's gonna hold.

Bubblegum's tough.

It'll hold anything.

Don't you think so, Tommy?

Mom, I'm ready to go now.

- Oh, Dennis.

You didn't mess up your
room, did you, dear?

- Heck, no.

I checked it just
a little while ago.

It's perfect.

- Oh, fine.

Come on in and say good
night to the guests.

- Have a good time, son.

- I will, Dad.

[doorbell]

- The Wilsons.

Come on in.

- Good evening, Alice.
- Good evening.

Let me take your
things, Mrs. Wilson.

- Thank you, Henry.
- Mr. Wilson?

- Well, let's not rush it.

- George is wearing his new hat.

- Oh!

Oh, it's very
becoming, Mr. Wilson.

- It certainly is.

- But you forgot to
turn down the brim.

- Well, you don't turn down
the brim on a Homburg, Dennis.

- Is it supposed to have
that dent in the top?

- Well, of course.

- Why, I thought it was
supposed to look like a derby.

- Great Scott.

- Do you want me to
take the things up

to my room for you, Dad?

- Well, that would
be very nice, son.

- No, if you don't mind,
I'll take them up myself.

No offense, Mitchell, but
this is a brand-new hat,

and I don't want
anything to happen to it.

- It's almost 7 o'clock, Dennis.

- Oh, I better hurry, or
they'll eat all the cake.

Oh, Mr. Wilson, I won't
see you 'til tomorrow.

So good night.

- Oh, good night, Dennis.

- Good night, dear.

- Good night, son.
- Good night, Mom.

Night, Dad.

- I can now look forward to
a very pleasant evening.

- It's Dennis' room, Mr. Wilson.

- Now, what in the world?

Great Scott!

Oh, all over their floor.

Oh, my new hat!

Martha!
Martha!

Martha!

Oh!

[theme music]

ANNOUNCER: This has been a
Screen Gems film production

from the Hollywood studios
of Columbia Pictures.