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1
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:09,108
[humming]
2
00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:10,476
- Now what?
3
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:14,414
Dennis!
4
00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:19,018
- Gee, ya sure are
smart Mr. Wilson.
5
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,619
How'd ya know it was me?
6
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:23,856
- Oh, who else'd stick his foot
through the roof of my tool
7
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:28,027
shed?
8
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:51,116
[theme music]
9
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:53,252
- Sweetheart, I think I'd
better call the office
10
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:54,386
and tell 'em to
send someone else.
11
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,055
- Oh honey, you can't do that.
12
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,857
All I have is a little
cold and your trip's
13
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:00,693
much too important for that.
14
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,428
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Hey Dad!
15
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:04,730
I'm bringing your suitcase down.
16
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,833
- Leave it alone son,
it's too heavy for you.
17
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,201
- No it isn't.
18
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:11,804
I've got a system.
19
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:15,808
[loud bang]
20
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,177
- I told you that
was too heavy son.
21
00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:21,580
- Oh Dennis, how can
you do such things?
22
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:22,848
- It's easy mom.
23
00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:24,350
Want me to do it again?
24
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,085
- No.
25
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,386
- Dennis, that's not
the kind of a man
26
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:29,621
I can leave in
charge of the house.
27
00:01:29,622 --> 00:01:30,923
- You can't?
28
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,092
- No, you shouldn't have been
fooling with my suitcase.
29
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,729
- But I was just trying to help.
30
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,397
- I know son, but let's
try and be a little more
31
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:41,100
constructive in our help, huh?
32
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,202
Come on over here.
33
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,871
Now you know I'm going out
of town on business today,
34
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,272
and I'll be gone all night.
35
00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:49,308
Now your mother
isn't feeling well
36
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,276
and I'm depending on you
to take good care of her
37
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,579
and see that she doesn't
worry about a thing.
38
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:54,680
- I will dad.
39
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:55,914
- OK.
40
00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:57,883
Now I've called the
employment agency
41
00:01:57,884 --> 00:02:00,119
and they're sending a woman
over here to clean up the house
42
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,620
and fix your dinner.
43
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,389
I'll just put the
money right here.
44
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,491
- Gee, is that all for her?
45
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:06,792
- Yes Dennis.
46
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,828
Mr. Wilson said he'd be around
in case of an emergency.
47
00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:11,864
- Oh honey, all I
have is a little cold
48
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,265
and a slight headache.
49
00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:15,367
Stop worrying, it isn't serious.
50
00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:18,437
- Well, I, I just don't feel
right about leaving you alone.
51
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:19,138
- Oh.
52
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,706
She won't be alone.
53
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,674
She's got me.
54
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,075
- That's right.
55
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,911
- Ha, ha, OK darling, as
long you promise as soon
56
00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:27,713
as I've left you'll
scat up to bed.
57
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,381
- Ha, promise.
58
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:31,116
- You'll be in charge of
the house while I'm gone.
59
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:32,584
Think you can handle it?
60
00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:33,652
- Sure dad.
61
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,087
You won't have to worry.
62
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:38,924
Any old burglars try to get
in this house I'll button one.
63
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:40,192
- You do that.
64
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:42,161
Remember, you're the
man of the house.
65
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:46,532
I'll be back as soon
as I can, darling.
66
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:47,833
Ahem.
67
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,702
Now woman, off to bed.
68
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:50,703
- Ha, ha alright.
69
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:51,537
drive carefully.
70
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:52,338
- Ha ha OK.
71
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,873
- Bye dad.
- So long son.
72
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,477
[doorbell]
73
00:02:58,478 --> 00:02:59,878
- Dennis?
74
00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:04,750
[doorbell]
75
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,752
- I got it, mom.
76
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:07,753
Hi.
77
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,054
- Hello young man.
78
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:10,656
Good morning Miss, is
your mother at home?
79
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:14,226
- She is our mother.
80
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:15,594
- I don't believe it.
81
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,329
You're not Mrs. Mitchell,
Mrs. Henry Mitchell,
82
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:19,064
well the Browns told me you
were very young and pretty.
83
00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:20,967
- She's not so young,
she's gonna be--
84
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,267
- Dennis!
85
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,103
- Children, what would
we do without them?
86
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,337
I'm Alistair Sinclair.
87
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:28,374
Perhaps Mrs. Brown
called you about me?
88
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,576
- I don't think I
know any Mrs. Brown?
89
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:32,578
- Well they are rather new in
the neighborhood I believe.
90
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:34,713
But she knows you and she was
so thrilled with her lovely gift
91
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:37,116
that she wanted you to
share her good fortune.
92
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,450
- No, thank you.
93
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:40,285
- Now Mrs. Mitchell, I'm
not selling anything.
94
00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:41,920
I'm giving you the opportunity
to have a lovely dinner
95
00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:44,523
party in your own home with your
own selection of eight guests
96
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,892
catered by a magnificent chef
with a core of trained helpers
97
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,228
serving a seven-course dinner
complete from hors d'oeuvres
98
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,163
to after dinner mints
at absolutely no cost
99
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,498
or obligation to you.
100
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:53,832
- No thank you.
101
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,601
- And for your courtesy in
inviting eight of your friends
102
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,636
into your home to participate
in our sales demonstration,
103
00:03:57,637 --> 00:04:00,506
you will be given, absolutely
free at no cost or obligation,
104
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,508
a beautiful gift of our
Plastiplex no scorch,
105
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,610
no burn freezer-to-oven-to-table
dinnerware.
106
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,045
- No thank you.
107
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,947
- Break yourself of
the hot kitchen.
108
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,915
[slams door]
- No thank you!
109
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,283
- Oh.
110
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:14,153
Jeepers mom, it sounded
like a bargain to me.
111
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,956
- Dennis dear, I'm in
no mood for bargains.
112
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,058
All I want to do is get to bed.
113
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,426
My head hurts.
114
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,061
KIDS (OFFSCREEN):
Hey Mrs. Mitchell!
115
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,963
Can Dennis come outside?
116
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:27,433
- Oh why doesn't that
cleaning woman get here?
117
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:30,602
Dennis, go out and tell them
you can't play now dear.
118
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:31,737
- OK mom.
[yelling]
119
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:33,939
Hey you guys, don't
make too much noise
120
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,810
my mom's got a headache!
121
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:40,512
- Hi Dennis!
122
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:44,917
- I can't play now, I'm taking
care of my poor old mom.
123
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,753
- Ya got anything to eat?
- Maybe.
124
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,888
My dad had to go
away on business
125
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:54,526
and I'm in full
charge around here.
126
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:58,364
- Boy, that chicken
sure looks good.
127
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:04,636
- Mmmmm.
128
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:05,671
[doorbell]
129
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:07,606
- I gotta go answer the doorbell.
130
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,876
Cuz when my dad's away,
I'm the man of the house.
131
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:20,853
Hi.
132
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,221
- I'm Miss Rafferty.
133
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:23,522
The agency sent me.
134
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:24,523
Where's your mother?
135
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:25,924
- She's in bed.
136
00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:27,826
She's got a headache.
137
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:28,794
- Huh.
138
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,930
Must be nice to be rich.
139
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:32,831
- Good morning.
140
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,099
Are you from the agency?
141
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,168
- They didn't tell me
it was this far out.
142
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,904
I had to change buses 2 times.
143
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,439
- I'm sorry.
144
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,441
- They didn't tell me it was
a two story house, neither.
145
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:45,611
I ain't luggin no vacuum
up and down them stairs.
146
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:48,647
- There really won't be very
much to do Mrs. Rafferty.
147
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:52,217
In fact you don't have to worry
about the upstairs at all.
148
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:53,919
If you just straighten
up a little bit
149
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,455
downstairs well that'll be fine.
150
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,992
Now, if you don't mind,
I'm going back up to bed.
151
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,826
I'm not feeling very well.
152
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:03,028
- You got anything contagious?
153
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,130
- Nothing serious, just a cold.
154
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:06,565
- Well, all right.
155
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,901
Just so long as I don't
have to go upstairs.
156
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,737
- Thank you.
- Hey!
157
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,539
You already had two pieces!
158
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,506
- No I didn't!
159
00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:16,241
- Hi!
160
00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:18,177
- This is Miss Rafferty.
161
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,713
She's gonna clean up the house.
162
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,514
- Oh no she isn't.
163
00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,883
I ain't cleaning up no
house with an upstairs
164
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:30,789
and a downstairs and contagious
diseases and a dozen kids!
165
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:43,068
[laughing]
166
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,069
- Good bye Dennis.
167
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,071
- Bye Dennis.
168
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,573
- Goodbye Dennis.
We gotta go now.
169
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,875
- Hey Tommy, wait a minute.
170
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:50,943
- What for?
171
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,345
- I got a problem.
172
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:56,782
It's pretty hard work
being man of the house.
173
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:57,916
- Yeah.
174
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,651
- That poor working
woman went away.
175
00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:02,821
somebody's gotta clean up
around here for poor ol' mom.
176
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:05,925
- Why don't cha get your mom
to phone for somebody else?
177
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,292
- Oh no Tommy.
178
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:10,396
If I tell her Miss Rafferty's
gone, she'll worry.
179
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:14,934
That's the one thing my dad
doesn't want, for mom to worry.
180
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:19,038
I gotta find some
friend, some pal.
181
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,040
- Goodbye Dennis.
182
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:21,907
- Hey Tommy!
183
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,342
Aren'tcha gonna help me?
184
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:24,710
- Uh-uh.
185
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,812
- I'll give ya my busted
airplane and my goldfish bowl.
186
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:28,280
- I can't Dennis.
187
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:32,885
I gotta go before that old
Margaret catches up to us.
188
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,821
- Hey Tommy.
189
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:38,191
You just gave me a good idea.
190
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,808
Margaret?
191
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,843
This is Dennis.
192
00:07:57,844 --> 00:08:01,013
You got any new comics?
193
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,849
Well, if you let me
read 'em, and promise
194
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:09,555
not to tell the kids, I'll let
ya come over and play house.
195
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,857
- You mean I get to
clean the whole house?
196
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:14,226
- Just the downstairs.
197
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:17,763
- Goodness knows there's
enough to do right here.
198
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,566
Everything is simply filthy.
199
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,334
Where's your dishwasher?
200
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,336
- She's in bed.
201
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,805
- Silly, I mean the electric one.
202
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:31,043
- Well the only dishwasher we got
in this house is good ol' mom.
203
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:33,746
- Well, when you
get a raise, that's
204
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,782
the first thing
we're going to buy.
205
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:40,386
There, there baby,
go to your daddy.
206
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:45,290
- Say that again
and I'll bop you.
207
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:48,694
- Do you want to play
house or don't you?
208
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,596
- OK.
209
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,165
- Bubble the baby.
210
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:05,110
- First we'll do the dishes.
211
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:08,414
And then we'll scrub
this filthy floor.
212
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,582
And then we'll wash
these filthy curtains.
213
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:11,583
- Bye Margaret.
214
00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:13,018
I gotta go to the office.
215
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:15,154
- Dennis Mitchell,
you know very well
216
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,523
this is Saturday afternoon.
217
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,491
- Oh yeah.
218
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:20,626
I forgot.
219
00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:23,128
Well I gotta go play
golf with the boys.
220
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:24,530
- Oh no, you don't.
221
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:27,032
- But husbands are
supposed to play golf.
222
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:28,935
- Alright for you
Dennis Mitchell.
223
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:32,404
If you go play golf
once more and leave me
224
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:36,141
with this child to take care of
and this filthy house to clean,
225
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:39,845
I'm going to take the baby
and go home to my mother.
226
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:42,815
- OK, what do you
want me to do first?
227
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,783
- First, kiss the baby.
228
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:47,387
You made the poor
little thing cry.
229
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,308
- As soon as the
wash is done, you
230
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:12,145
can hang it out while I
vacuum the front room.
231
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,648
- Jeepers!
- Oh!
232
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:30,697
MRS. MITCHELL
233
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,235
- Margaret, here.
234
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,005
Hey mom, go back to bed please!
235
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,707
- My headache's practically gone.
236
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,208
All I needed was a little rest.
237
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:46,245
- Don't come downstairs
you'll get sick again.
238
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,547
- I just wanted to make sure
everything was alright.
239
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:53,452
Oh, you are staying out of Mrs.
Rafferty's way, aren't you?
240
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:56,522
- You don't need to
worry about that mom.
241
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:59,258
- Oh, you might ask her
if she's not too busy,
242
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,427
the kitchen floor could
stand a scrubbing.
243
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:04,296
- Oh you don't need to worry
about that either mom.
244
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:08,334
You're going to have the
cleanest floor in town.
245
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:08,834
- OK.
246
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:20,479
- Jeepers!
247
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,882
I guess maybe this
is an emergency.
248
00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:25,250
- My goodness Dennis Mitchell!
249
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,885
The least you could
do is get help
250
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,988
before me and the baby drown.
251
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,291
- I'm going for Mr. Wilson.
252
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,801
- Great Scott!
253
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:47,539
- Nobody's supposed to yell, Mr.
Wilson, cuz my poor ol' mom's
254
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,507
got a headache.
255
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,010
- If I were your
poor ol' mom, I'd
256
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,112
have a headache
every day of my life.
257
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:59,184
Why Margaret, what
are you doing here?
258
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:01,754
- Dennis and I got married.
259
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:02,755
- We did not!
260
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,123
You better stop saying that!
261
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:06,091
- We did too!
262
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:07,393
- We were just pretending.
263
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,964
Besides, you promised
not to tell anybody.
264
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,298
- I said I wouldn't
tell the kids,
265
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:15,467
but I had to tell Mr.
Wilson cuz he's my friend.
266
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,202
Aren't you Mr. Wilson?
- Why you!!
267
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:19,605
- Oh, OK that's enough.
268
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,173
Stop that.
269
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:24,410
You're getting suds
all over the place.
270
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,645
Of course I'm your
friend my dear.
271
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:29,948
But why don't you be a good
little girl and run along home?
272
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:32,184
- That's just what
I'm going to do.
273
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,687
And I'm never ever going
to marry you again,
274
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:35,888
Dennis Mitchell!
275
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,691
Not even if I turn
into an old maid!
276
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,097
- What are these things?
277
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,498
- Curtains.
278
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:47,966
That Margaret.
279
00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:49,835
I'm glad you made her
go home, Mr. Wilson.
280
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:53,372
Even if we do have to iron
these curtains ourselves.
281
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:54,239
- Iron them?
282
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:55,207
Me?
283
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,809
- Sure Mr. Wilson.
284
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,510
Somebody's got to iron em.
285
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,046
Cuz if I tell mom
she'll come downstairs
286
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:04,183
and she'll really
have a headache.
287
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:07,153
- How do I get myself
into these things?
288
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:18,364
[yawning]
289
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:23,102
[sighing]
290
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:25,904
- You sure are a good
ironer, Mr. Wilson.
291
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:28,374
- Why thank you, Dennis.
292
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:33,345
Ha ha, I don't know why women
make such a fuss about ironing.
293
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,580
Ha ha.
294
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:37,082
The trouble with women,
Dennis, they don't match.
295
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:39,084
- Don't match what?
296
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:40,252
- Each other.
297
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,921
- How come women are
supposed to match?
298
00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:44,423
- Oh, not women Dennis.
299
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,325
The curtains.
300
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:49,128
Oh, now I could have
sworn they measured
301
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,997
the same when I put
them on the rod.
302
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,298
- Oh, I thought you meant women.
303
00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:56,168
That was a good joke
on me, huh Mr. Wilson.
304
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,736
[laughs]
- Mr. Wilson?
305
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,939
- Oh don't bother me now Dennis.
306
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,707
Heaven's sake you
need a slide rule
307
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,442
to figure these things out.
308
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:04,209
- My mom says--
309
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,811
- Oh please Dennis.
310
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,680
- My mom says it's
important that--
311
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,048
- Alright, what's important?
312
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,483
- My mom says it's very
important that you never
313
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:14,753
leave a hot iron lying
on top of anything.
314
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:16,088
- Oh!
315
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:20,726
Oh great Scott!
316
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:23,195
And that's the one that matched.
317
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,398
- Jeepers, you sure are in
trouble now Mr. Wilson.
318
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:29,068
Those are my mom's
best curtains.
319
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,836
- I'll buy her some new ones.
320
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:34,340
- My mom had to run all over
town buying those curtains.
321
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,675
And they were the last ones.
322
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:40,112
- Well I didn't do it on purpose.
323
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:43,415
- Hey, I've got an
idea Mr. Wilson.
324
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,552
Why don't we cut out
the burned place?
325
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,987
- No, it'd show.
326
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:51,390
- Those are very fat curtains.
327
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,659
- Well yes.
328
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,728
Yes, it might work at that.
329
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,696
Well temporarily at least.
330
00:14:57,697 --> 00:14:59,264
Ha ha.
331
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:05,237
You know, Dennis, sometimes
you're smart beyond your years.
332
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:09,074
Yeah, it's a very good idea.
333
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:12,344
- That's why my dad made
me the man of the house.
334
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:17,483
[chuckles]
335
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:18,784
- Thank you dear.
336
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,753
- Would you like me to bring
you anything else mom?
337
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,355
- Not a thing, dear.
338
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,224
But after I take
my nap, I'm going
339
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:27,659
to enjoy some of that
cold chicken for dinner.
340
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:32,132
- Jeepers.
341
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:45,244
- Oh Dennis.
342
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,579
The house is all nice and clean.
343
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:51,083
Now you try and keep it
nice and clean for your mom.
344
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:51,884
- I will Mr. Wilson.
345
00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:56,088
- Good.
346
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:59,926
[phone rings]
347
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,026
- Hello?
348
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,728
- Is this the Mitchell residence?
349
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,196
- Yes it is.
350
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,031
- I'm the gentleman who called
on your mother earlier.
351
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:07,499
How is she?
352
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,034
- Oh she's fine.
353
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:11,437
- I'm the man who put's
on the free dinners.
354
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:12,838
- You are?
355
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,206
- Yes.
356
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:15,474
We had an unexpected
cancellation
357
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,276
and I wonder if she
would reconsider and let
358
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:18,510
me put on a dinner
for her tonight.
359
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,212
Would you ask her to
come to the phone?
360
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:24,917
- Well, uh, she's upstairs and
can't come down right now.
361
00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:27,219
- Well I hate to see all
this food go to waste.
362
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:29,221
Tell her if she can't get eight
other friends in for dinner
363
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,589
tonight, I'll settle for five.
364
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:33,826
- Is that all we have to do?
365
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:35,094
- That's right.
366
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,162
- We'll have eight
friends for you alright.
367
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,466
Just come on over, Mr. Goodbye.
368
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,806
- Oh, you tell Mrs.,
what's her name?
369
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,208
Rafferty?
370
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,343
- You mean the lady
who cooked the dinner?
371
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,344
- Yes.
372
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,480
- She said to call her Annie.
373
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:58,083
- Well you tell her the
dinner was simply delicious.
374
00:16:58,084 --> 00:17:00,086
Much better than that
leftover chicken.
375
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:05,657
[sighs]
376
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,762
I haven't had such a
good vacation in years!
377
00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:16,936
- My mom said the dinner
was simply delicious.
378
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:18,470
- Glad she enjoyed it.
379
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,773
Too bad she had to
miss her own party.
380
00:17:20,774 --> 00:17:23,642
Mr. St. Claire said we were
supposed to have eight people.
381
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,844
And that's what we got alright.
382
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,713
Is he coming over?
383
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,114
Later.
384
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:30,849
Then he makes the sales
pitch about the Plastiflex
385
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,051
dinnerware.
386
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,285
When they're ready
for us in there,
387
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,154
just tell them to ring the bell.
[rings bell]
388
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:39,558
- We're ready anytime you are.
389
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:44,130
[bell rings]
390
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:52,838
[bell rings]
391
00:17:52,839 --> 00:18:00,580
- Whatsamatter?
392
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:12,057
[bell rings]
393
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,927
- Maybe they're
sitting on low chairs.
394
00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:16,295
[laughter]
395
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:19,498
I can't wait to see
St. Claire's face.
396
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:23,369
- It's no skin off our nose,
we get paid by the week.
397
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:24,770
[bell rings]
398
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:25,738
- Well, ahem.
399
00:18:25,739 --> 00:18:29,709
[bell rings]
400
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,681
- Madame?
- Please.
401
00:18:49,062 --> 00:18:52,531
- Anybody read any
good comics lately?
402
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:53,500
- Not me.
403
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:04,877
[knocks on door]
404
00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:06,278
- How's it going?
405
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,147
- I just do the cooking
and cleanin up afterwards.
406
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,582
- You lined 'em up,
you oughta know.
407
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,717
- Tough, huh?
408
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,152
Doesn't matter.
409
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:15,020
The tougher they are to
sell, the better I operate.
410
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:17,156
- Mr. St. Claire,
I've got a feeling
411
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:18,925
that this isn't
gonna be your night.
412
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:22,194
- Shame on you trying to
destroy his confidence.
413
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:24,563
Why, you know Mr. St. Claire's
our that top salesman.
414
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:25,597
He never misses.
[laughs]
415
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:28,534
[doorbell rings]
416
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,035
- Oh hi Mr. Wilson.
417
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,470
Come on in.
418
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,505
Join the party.
419
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,207
- I brought a little
supper over for you
420
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:36,508
and your mother, Dennis.
421
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,676
It isn't much.
422
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:42,114
- Oh we've got plenty
of dinner Mr. Wilson.
423
00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:43,682
- Wha, what's all this?
424
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,285
I, I don't understand.
425
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,787
- It's the Plastiflex
folks, Mr. Wilson.
426
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:52,057
They give ya a free dinner
if you invite eight friends.
427
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,893
Aren't they swell?
428
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:57,129
- Oh ho, no.
429
00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:58,697
- Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
430
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,200
I'm sure you've all enjoyed
your dinner prepared and served
431
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:16,181
in our no scorch--
- freezer-to-oven-to-table
432
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:17,816
Plastiflex dinnerware.
433
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,351
Delicious meals in jiffy.
434
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,820
Help your wife break
the hot kitchen habit.
435
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:24,324
Why make her a slave to old
fashioned cooking methods?
436
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,648
- Dennis?
437
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,051
Dennis?
438
00:20:52,052 --> 00:20:53,385
- Yes mom?
439
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:56,488
- Time for the man of the
house to come to bed.
440
00:20:56,489 --> 00:21:00,126
- Soon as I've watched
the nine o'clock news.
441
00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:07,066
- Oh Dennis, don't plug that in!
442
00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:09,168
- Jeepers.
443
00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:12,805
- Honey, it was out of order.
444
00:21:12,806 --> 00:21:17,543
Oh Dennis, now you've turned
out all the lights in the house.
445
00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:23,148
- Boy, it sure was lucky we were
ready to go to bed, huh mom?
446
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:25,551
- There, now I call Mr. Wilson.
447
00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:29,155
- Jeepers mom, we don't need
any lights when we're asleep.
448
00:21:32,092 --> 00:21:33,625
- Hello, Mr. Wilson?
449
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,961
This is Alice.
450
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,162
- A fuse blew out?
451
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,098
Oh ho ho, why
that's the simplest
452
00:21:39,099 --> 00:21:40,599
thing in the world Alice.
453
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,768
I'll be right over.
454
00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:47,940
- Jeepers mom, you didn't
have to bother Mr. Wilson.
455
00:21:47,941 --> 00:21:50,843
Remember?
I'm the man of the house.
456
00:21:50,844 --> 00:21:52,644
- I'm sorry dear.
457
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,214
I guess in all the excitement
I just sort of forgot
458
00:21:55,215 --> 00:21:56,516
you were in charge.
459
00:22:23,143 --> 00:22:26,078
[yelling]
- Help!
460
00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:27,279
- Help!
- Help!
461
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,081
- Police, Help!
- Dennis, come back here!
462
00:22:29,082 --> 00:22:30,649
Don't go out there!
Help, help police!
463
00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:31,650
Help!
- Help!
464
00:22:31,651 --> 00:22:32,651
- Help!
465
00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:34,653
God, you!
466
00:22:34,654 --> 00:22:37,089
Mr. Wilson?
467
00:22:37,090 --> 00:22:38,323
- Mitchell?
468
00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:40,492
Well what in the world
are you doing home?
469
00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:44,930
- Well I finished up early and I
just came on home. ) home, dad.
470
00:22:44,931 --> 00:22:54,007
- He he he, welcome
471
00:22:54,107 --> 00:22:55,841
Some milk for my young man.
472
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:58,510
- You may not believe this
Henry, but that fuse blowing
473
00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:01,213
is the first thing that's
gone wrong all day.
474
00:23:01,214 --> 00:23:04,616
Well, a little accident like
that could happen to anyone.
475
00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:07,886
- Why certainly, accidents
will happen no matter
476
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:10,055
how careful one tries to be.
477
00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:11,958
- Hey mom?
478
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:14,094
Here's a present I gotcha.
479
00:23:17,831 --> 00:23:20,132
- Plastiflex dinnerware?
480
00:23:20,133 --> 00:23:23,268
- I got ours absolutely free.
481
00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:26,305
But good ol' Mr. Wilson
bought some for Mrs. Wilson.
482
00:23:26,306 --> 00:23:31,210
And all he got back from a
$20 bill was two cents change.
483
00:23:31,211 --> 00:23:33,078
That reminds me, dad.
484
00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:34,747
Here's your change.
485
00:23:34,748 --> 00:23:36,248
- My change from what?
486
00:23:36,249 --> 00:23:37,716
- From the poor working woman.
487
00:23:37,717 --> 00:23:40,185
All she wanted was her carfare.
488
00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:42,121
Guess I manage pretty good, huh?
489
00:23:42,122 --> 00:23:44,757
You can leave me
in charge any time.
490
00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:47,092
I make a good man of the house.
491
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:49,561
Huh mom, huh dad?
492
00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:52,698
- You certainly do.
493
00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:56,101
Oh no!
494
00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:58,704
Look at my brand new curtains!
495
00:23:58,705 --> 00:23:59,672
They're ruined!
496
00:23:59,673 --> 00:24:01,640
- Oh, I'm sorry.
497
00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:04,277
I don't know what possessed
me to cut them up.
498
00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:09,848
I hoped you wouldn't notice.
499
00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:11,884
- You cut them up, Mr. Wilson?
500
00:24:11,885 --> 00:24:16,522
- It was just as much my fault
as it was good ol' Mr. Wilson's.
501
00:24:16,523 --> 00:24:17,623
I told him to.
502
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,491
- Well I, I, I shouldn't
have listened.
503
00:24:19,492 --> 00:24:21,794
But I just couldn't leave
them the way they were.
504
00:24:21,795 --> 00:24:23,562
- Well why not?
505
00:24:23,563 --> 00:24:29,234
- Because you weren't feeling
well and oh, what's the use?
506
00:24:29,235 --> 00:24:31,503
Believe me, it would
take 24 hours just
507
00:24:31,504 --> 00:24:33,372
to tell you what's
happened in the last eight.
508
00:24:33,373 --> 00:24:36,075
If you like I'll pay
for the curtains,
509
00:24:36,076 --> 00:24:40,145
but I was only trying to help.
510
00:24:40,146 --> 00:24:41,981
- Hey you know something?
511
00:24:42,082 --> 00:24:46,485
Good ol' Mr. Wilson
sounds just like me.
512
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,787
- I do?
513
00:24:48,788 --> 00:24:50,089
Jeepers!
514
00:24:50,090 --> 00:24:52,691
- Greeeaaat Scott!
[laughter]
515
00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:53,693
- Oh Dennis!
516
00:25:41,141 --> 00:25:43,509
NARRATOR: This has been a
Screen Gems Film Production
517
00:25:43,510 --> 00:25:47,313
from the Hollywood Studios
of Columbia Pictures.
36435
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