Original subtitles

- Hey, Mom!

The cleaner's down the street in front of Mr. Wilson's house.

And I was talking-- - A cleaner?

Oh, that's good. I was just going to call him.

Here, run give him your dad's suit.

Quick! - But, Mom--

- Hurry, dear, before he gets away!

- Well, OK.

But this is a blue suit.

Maybe he won't even take it.

He just wears white suits when he's cleaning our street.

- Street?

The street cleaner, oh! Dennis!

Dennis!

[theme music]

- $5 a share?

Well, just think of it, Martha.

It's like finding $500.

- It certainly is.

Oh, it's wonderful news, dear.

How long have you had this, uh, what's the name of it?

- Oh, the Buzzard Mountain Mining Company.

- [chuckles]

- I bought this darn stock back in the '30s-- I guess, it was.

It's been worthless ever since.

I have nearly thrown it away a dozen times.

- And now, it's worth $500.

- Ha-ha!

That's what the man said.

Clark, down at the bank, is buying it all up

for some Eastern syndicate.

He says I can bring it to him any time today.

- I hope you're not going to wait long.

- Oh, ho-ho!

No longer than it takes me to get cleaned up and dressed.

[chuckles]

Oh, oh, you sit right down here.

You will have to sign this, too.

It's in both our names.

Eh, eh, now, see, I've already signed it.

Dear, where is my fountain pen?

I know I put it in my pock--

- Here it is, dear.

You just thought you put it in your pocket.

- Well, anyhow, you sign right there.

That's the ticket.

- Incidentally, dear, what did the cleaner say about my dress?

- The dress? - Yes.

You did drop it off there this morning, didn't you?

- Great Scott, Martha.

I drove right by the cleaners and forgot all about it.

I'm sorry, dear.

It's still out in the car.

- Well, I'll drive over with it.

Really, George!

Your memory is getting to be terrible lately.

- Oh, everybody forgets once in a while, my dear.

Don't you worry, I won't forget to take this stock down and get

our $500.

You can bet on that.

- I'll be back by the time you're ready to go.

[doorbell rings]

- I'll get it.

- Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

Is Mr. Wilson home?

MARTHA (OFFSCREEN): Well, uh, yes, he's here, Dennis.

But, uh, I don't think it's a good time for you, boys,

to come in right now.

- Oh, send them in, Martha.

The way I feel today, I'm even glad to see Dennis.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson!

- Hello, Dennis, Tommy.

Nice to see you, boys.

Although I am pretty busy this morning, and--

- Oh, we're busy, too.

But, boy, have we got a surprise for you.

- What did you break?

- We didn't break anything.

- Oh, no.

This surprise is different.

- Oh?

- You see, there's this brand new club just started.

- Oh?

- The Tree House Club.

And we had a meeting of the whole club.

And you, Mr. Wilson, have just been elected president!

- Oh, my goodness, Martha! [chuckles]

- Congratulations, Mr. President.

- Congratulations.

You won.

- Well, this is a surprise.

My goodness!

President, eh? [chuckles]

Uh, how about that, Martha?

- I always said you'd be president someday, dear.

- Well-- [chuckles]

Oh, how many members are in the club?

- Well, counting me and Tommy, you make three!

- The dues are a dollar.

- A dollar for due.

I see.

- We needed to buy a gavel so the president can

bang on the table with it.

- Oh, that's a good idea, all right, Dennis.

But my goodness, a dollar.

That's a pretty expensive club.

Don't you think so, Martha?

- Well, it's not as expensive as the country club, dear.

- Right.

And he's not even the president there.

- By golly, Dennis, it's a deal.

[laughs]

Eh, oh, I don't have any change on me right now.

But I have to go down to the bank anyway on some business.

And the minute I get back, I'll pay you my dollar and join.

How's that?

- Boy, that's swell!

- [chuckles]

- I'm going now, dear.

I'll be back shortly.

- Oh, all right, Martha.

Well, boys, I will see you later.

[laughs]

Now, I'm going upstairs and take a bath.

And I don't want anyone ringing my doorbell

or bothering me while I'm in the tub, you understand?

- Oh, we won't bother you, Mr. Wilson,

because the quicker you go to the bank,

the quicker you can get back to join our club.

- And pay your dollar.

- That's right.

- Bye, Mr. President.

- Goodbye, boys.

- Good old Mr. Wilson, he is going

to make a dandy president.

- I hope he doesn't change his mind.

- Listen, we're going to fix up that tree house.

He will just love it, Tommy.

We'll put everything he likes up there,

so it'll just be like home for him.

- That's a good idea, Dennis.

Hey, one thing he likes is flowers.

- Yeah!

We'll put his favorite flowers up there--

this one and that one.

And here's a flower magazine he likes to read.

Boy, is he ever going to be glad he got elected president.

- Hey, Mom!

Guess who's going to join our club and be president?

- Mr. Wilson!

- Oh, heck, Tommy.

I was going to tell her.

- Well, you can tell her about him paying the dollar dues.

- Yeah, guess what, Mom?

Mr. Wilson's going to pay-- aw, Tommy, gee-whiz!

- I'm sorry, Dennis, but I didn't hear what Tommy said.

Now, who's going to do what, dear?

- Mr. Wilson!

He's going to be president of our Tree House Club

and pay us a dollar for dues.

- Well, now, isn't that wonderful?

- What else have you got that we could fix it up with, Mom?

- Ooh, let's see.

What else do you want?

- Just think Mr. Wilson likes.

Hey, he likes birds, Dennis.

- Yeah, have we got any bird pictures?

- I don't know.

I'll look around.

- And we ought to have a special chair

for the president to sit on.

Mr. Wilson doesn't fit too good on a box because--

[doorbell rings]

- I'll get it!

- I'll get it, Dennis!

- Your new phone book, ma'am. I'll take the old one, please.

- Fine.

Dennis, get the other one, will you?

- We sure do need a new phone book.

There's no place to draw on this one anymore.

It's all full.

- [chuckles]

It certainly is.

- Well, you got a brand new one now to work on, son.

- Hey, Mister!

Wait a minute!

- [gasps]

- And he doesn't like people ringing his doorbell

when he's in the tub.

So I better take his phone book in for you.

- OK, fine.

Just throw the old one here in the truck.

- Come on, Tommy.

It's a good thing I thought about this, Tommy.

- It sure is.

- Mr. Wilson gets pretty mad when he

has to come downstairs with his towel just

to answer the doorbell.

(WHISPERS) No need to talk loud, Tommy.

We don't want to bother Mr. Wilson at all.

- (WHISPERS) Sure.

He sure does like it quiet when he's taking a bath, doesn't he?

- (WHISPERS) I'll say.

- (WHISPERS) He doesn't even like it filling your water pistol

in his tub, even if you are quiet.

- I don't see why the phone company

wants the old books back, Dennis.

What do they do with them?

- They put them in that big red house over past the park,

you know, where we used to play.

- I know where they put them, Dennis.

But what do they do with them?

They're no good.

- Oh, yes, they are.

My dad told me all about them.

The put these old books into a big grinder

and grind them up into pulk.

- What's that? - Pulk?

Why it's just little bitty bits of ground-up phone that's all.

I guess they-- look, Tommy!

Look at this swell picture of an eagle, I think.

- That's not an eagle.

That's a hawk.

- Well, it's some kind of a bird.

Boy, this sure is going to look swell

on the wall of our tree house.

- Yeah!

Buzzard Mountain Mining Company, I love you.

Pupup, penem-- uh, oh!

Uh.

- [laughs].

Congratulations.

Mrs. Wilson's just been telling us about your big stock deal.

- Oh-ho, thank you, Mitchell.

Yes, it's a very nice surprise, all right.

I'll tell you that.

I never thought that stuff would be worth a nickel.

- You don't think they'll change their minds, do you, dear?

- Oh, certainly not.

It's a big syndicate.

They're buying up all they can find, Martha. $5 a share.

- $500?

- Yeah, in fact, the bank called again just a few minutes ago

to make sure I'm coming in today.

- [chuckles]

They're certainly anxious to buy it.

- Well, not any more anxious than I am to sell it.

- Where is the stock certificate, dear?

I hope you remember where you put it.

- Well, certainly, I remember where I put it.

It's in there in the phone book.

- Huh?

Eagles don't look like that.

- This eagle does.

- If it's an eagle, why does he look so sad?

Eagles aren't sad.

- We'll go ask Mr. Wilson.

He'll tell you what this eagle is.

- OK.

- Where did you say you put the stock, dear?

In the phone book?

- That's right.

It should be pressed out nice and flat by now.

- It's not in the phone book, George.

Think again.

- Oh-oho what do you mean it's not in the phone book?

Of course, it's in the phone book.

That's where I put it, and that's where it has to be.

It's in the phone book.

It's stock--

- Think again, dear.

- Uh, it has to be here.

- Look, he's looking at his new phone book.

- Yeah, I'll bet he's surprised.

Hi, Mr. Wilson!

You like your new phone book?

Hi, Dad!

- Not now, Dennis.

Mr. Wilson's too busy to talk.

- My "new" phone book? - Sure.

The phone man was going to ring your doorbell

while you were taking a bath.

Well, we didn't let him bother you.

- Oh, no!

- No, we didn't let him in.

I put that new book in there for you myself.

- Oh, Dennis.

- Wha-- the, the, the old one, the old book--

what did you do with the old book?

- Oh, the phone man took that.

- He's going to grind it up into pulk.

- Great Scott!

Where are my glasses?

Oh, I've got them, uh.

Martha, call the phone-- I'll get it.

I'll get it. I'll do it.

I'll do it.

I'll do-- operator?

Hello, operator.

- You have to dial 1, Mr. Wilson.

- Hello, operator.

Give me the phone company.

I know you're the phone company.

Give me someone I can talk to.

Well, it's about my phone book.

No, I've got the new one.

It's the old phone book.

I'd-- oh!

- I guess this isn't a very good time

to ask him about the picture, Tommy.

- This is not a good time to ask him about anything.

Now, run on home.

I'll see you later.

- And we must get our phone book back.

- Get the address.

- Yes.

If you could tell me where your man takes them,

we could go there and look for it.

Yes.

I'll hang on.

- We got our tree house fixed up swell for you now.

So any time you're ready, Mr. President.

- Oh.

- Dennis, we're going home. I'll be right back.

And then we'll go down and find out

where they keep those books. I'll help you look for it.

- (MOANING) Oh, oh!

- The office says you can look.

But it won't do you any good.

Well, here they are.

How about it?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

Nice, neat piles.

TOMMY (OFFSCREEN): That's a keen bird picture there, Dennis.

That's a real eagle, boy.

- Yeah, I cut it out of Mr. Wilson's magazine.

- What did you do with the other picture?

- Oh, I put that away.

It was a goofy-looking bird anyhow.

- Yeah.

- I feel kind of bad about this whole thing, Tommy.

Poor good old Mr. Wilson.

$500 is a lot of money.

- I'll say.

It wasn't our fault, though.

- It wasn't Mr. Wilson's fault either.

And I don't think it's right for him and Dad

to be hunting through all those phone books by themselves.

- Do you think they'd get mad if we went over and helped them?

- Tommy, there's one thing about my dad.

When he has a lot of hard work to do,

he doesn't care who helps him. Let's go!

- [groans]

Whew!

Well, look carefully, Mitchell.

Let's not miss it.

That stock just has to here somewhere.

- Oh, we'll find it, Mr. Wilson.

- [grunts]

- That's what everybody says, all right.

We'll find it, they say.

They never do, though.

Very seldom.

It's the odds that beat them every time.

You take right now, for instance.

We've got about 6,000 or 7,000 phone books in here.

- At least.

- So the odds on finding yours is around 7,000 to 1-- against.

Hardly worth trying.

- Thanks for the kind words.

- Say, I got to get back to the front office.

Time for my coffee break.

I'll be around, though.

Um, when you're ready to give up, just holler.

- There they are, Tommy.

Hi, Mr. Wilson!

Hi, Dad!

- Dennis, I thought I told you to stay home.

- Oh no, Dad.

You just told us to stay out of Mr. Wilson's yard.

Didn't he, Tommy?

- Yep.

- Just stay out of our way.

We're looking for Mr. Wilson's phone book.

- And I thought we were looking for money, $500?

- Not money, a piece of paper that's worth $500.

- Dennis, leave Mr. Wilson alone.

If you want to help, look through some of these books.

And anything you find, let me see it, understand?

- Understand, Tommy?

Whatever we find, Dad wants to see it.

- Hey, I found something already.

It says S-T-O-C-K--

- What is it?

- Is that it?

- A stocking sale.

- Yes.

Yes, I'll tell him.

- The bank again?

- Yes.

Strange.

Every time I mentioned the stock being

lost, he acts as if he doesn't believe me,

as if I'm joking or something.

- Oh, it certainly isn't any joking matter.

Thank you for the tea, Mrs. Wilson.

Oh, there must be thousands of phone books down there.

What a job!

- Yes, I'm sure it's no fun.

- Well, goodbye. - Goodbye.

- This sure is fun, isn't it, Mr. Wilson?

- No.

- Just like a treasure hunt.

- Yeah, a treasure hunt.

If you find it, is there any reward, Mr. Wilson?

- Reward?

- Of course not, Tommy.

He's already going to give us a dollar when

he gets change for dues.

- [groans]

- Besides, Mr. Wilson is our president

as soon as he pays us.

And anything we can do for our president--

- Oh, boys, there are thousands of phone books in here.

Would you mind working somewhere else?

- Dennis, now, you listen to me.

Either you and Tommy stay clear out of our way,

or you can go on home.

Now, just take your choice.

- OK, Daddy.

We'll go find Mr. Wilson's book way down this way.

Come on, Tommy.

- [sighs]

I got to stop here, my back hurts.

- Me, too.

Oh, we must have gone through 1,000 books.

Just look at this pile.

- Oh, yeah.

It's mighty discouraging, ain't it?

- But we'll find it sooner or later.

- Well, anyway, I'm glad we're not just starting out.

- Hey, Dad, look!

I found our phone book!

I could tell by my pictures on it!

- Dennis!

Look out!

The books!

- (YELLS) Ooh!

[crash]

- Oh!

- [grunts]

- Oh, no!

Everything mixed up.

Now, we'll have to start at all over again!

- Yes, sir.

It's mighty discouraging.

- Me and Tommy want to help Mr. Wilson find his phone

book because, gee, we helped him lose it.

- Yes, that you did.

- And we were helping all what we could.

Nobody appreciates it.

Besides, Dad made us go home.

- Well, they were probably working hard down there, dear.

And you may have been just a little bit in the way.

- We were working hard, too, all day.

We got our tree house fixed up so swell.

Now, nobody will even come and look at it.

- I'd like to see it.

- You would?

- Well, of course, I would.

You said it was just for men.

And I didn't want to intrude or anything.

- Well, you can't really join the club, but you can look at it.

Come on!

Come on!

What do you think, Mom?

- Oh, it looks, uh, eh, it looks--

- You like it?

- Well, it's got everything.

It's got a rug on the floor and a table

and magazines and chair.

It's got everything, all right.

- That chair's just for Mr. Wilson.

See what it says?

That's says, "for the president."

Tommy's dad got it for us.

- Oh, isn't that nice?

- We even got his favorite magazine.

Mr. Wilson just loves this magazine.

I got it off the table in his patio.

- Oh?

Well, now, I think you'd better put this right back

on the table in his patio because right now, we

don't want any more trouble, honey.

- Well, OK.

But I thought he could read it when

he's up here being president.

He's probably never going to come up here now.

- Don't you worry.

You and Tommy will have just as much fun without him.

Now, don't forget to put that right back where you found it.

- OK.

- Well, for goodness sake.

Thank heavens!

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): Martha!

Where are you?

- Out here, George, in the patio.

Come on out, dear.

I've got some ice-cold lemonade.

I'm sure you need it.

- No luck.

- I know.

I mean, I could tell by looking at you.

Now, just sit down, dear, and relax. [chuckles]

Read your magazine.

- Oh, I don't feel like reading anything.

$500 right down the drain.

- Oh, maybe not, George.

Maybe if you think real hard, you'll

remember where you put it.

- Where I put it?

Where I put it?

Martha, I put it in the phone book.

That's where I put it!

Look, the book was lying on the desk, just like this, see?

I opened the book, just like this, see?

Great Scott!

- There it is, George.

Right where you put it.

- Why, now, well, I could have sworn

I put it in the phone book.

- Could have sworn, you did swear you put in the phone book

over and over and over.

- Everyone can forget at times.

- Of course, dear, everybody has lapses of memory.

If you just wouldn't be so loudly

positive. [clicks tongues]

- And here, I've been blaming Dennis for this all day.

Well, I-- I suppose you're right about everyone

being forgetful at times.

- Of course.

It's no crime.

- No, no.

In fact, actually, I suppose the ability to forget

is sort of a-- a mark of genius in a way.

- Well, I wasn't going that far.

- Well, take Albert Einstein, for instance.

Now, he could tell you where every star in the universe was.

But I understand he could never remember

where he put his glasses.

[all laugh] DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Mr. Wilson?

I was up in the tree house.

And I heard you say Dennis.

So I-- oh, where'd you get our picture?

- Your picture?

- Oh, I remember.

I put it in your magazine up in the tree house.

You can have it if you want.

- You had it? Where did you get it?

- Me and Tommy found it in the street

after I threw Mr. Wilson's phone book in the truck.

- Aha!

[doorbell rings]

- By golly!

I knew I put that stock in the phone book.

Yes, sir, I told you so, Martha.

Ha-ha!

And a perfect memory is the mark of a strong mind.

And I knew my memory was perfect about this.

Martha, I'd-- where did she go?

Oh, oh, why, Mr. Clark, hello.

I've-- I was just going to call you, sir.

- Yes, I know.

Mrs. Wilson and I have been playing cat-and-mouse

on the telephone all day.

Now, we are reasonable people, Mr. Wilson.

If you felt that $5 a share wasn't enough,

why don't you just so?

- Well, I say so, but, uh, you said--

- So you lost your stock, eh?

Well, very shrewd of you.

All right.

I have a check here for $700.

That's $7 a share.

- Instead of $700?

- Yeah.

Can you find your stock now?

- Well, yes, I-- I think I can.

- [chuckles]

- Well, Martha, how about that?

Look at that, Mitchell.

- $200 more, you just made.

- [laughs]

By golly, I didn't realize what a tremendous thing

my subconscious mind is, Martha.

- It is?

- I must somehow known in my subconscious

that if I put that stock in the phone book,

Dennis would lose it.

- That's logical, I think.

- And then some sort of inner genius

told me that if Dennis lost it, the price would go up.

- Up $200.

[all laugh]

- Oh, oh, uh, don't worry, Mr. Clark.

It's all endorsed and ready to go.

Well, now, eh, if you'll excuse me,

I've been invited to join a very exclusive club.

- A club?

- He's the president.

- It's dues are a dollar, meets in a tree. [chuckles]

Oh, Mitchell, uh, lend me a dollar.

- [chuckles]

- There you are, Dennis. [chuckles]

I kept you out on a limb long enough.

Let's go. [laughs]

Our club.

[theme music]

NARRATOR: This has been a Screen Gems Film Production

from the Hollywood studios of Columbia Pictures.