All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S02E05.The.Stock.Certificate.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

- Hey, Mom!

The cleaner's down the street
in front of Mr. Wilson's house.

And I was talking--
- A cleaner?

Oh, that's good.
I was just going to call him.

Here, run give him
your dad's suit.

Quick!
- But, Mom--

- Hurry, dear,
before he gets away!

- Well, OK.

But this is a blue suit.

Maybe he won't even take it.

He just wears white suits
when he's cleaning our street.

- Street?

The street cleaner, oh!
Dennis!

Dennis!

[theme music]

- $5 a share?

Well, just think of it, Martha.

It's like finding $500.

- It certainly is.

Oh, it's wonderful news, dear.

How long have you had this,
uh, what's the name of it?

- Oh, the Buzzard
Mountain Mining Company.

- [chuckles]

- I bought this darn stock back
in the '30s-- I guess, it was.

It's been worthless ever since.

I have nearly thrown
it away a dozen times.

- And now, it's worth $500.

- Ha-ha!

That's what the man said.

Clark, down at the bank,
is buying it all up

for some Eastern syndicate.

He says I can bring it
to him any time today.

- I hope you're not
going to wait long.

- Oh, ho-ho!

No longer than it takes me to
get cleaned up and dressed.

[chuckles]

Oh, oh, you sit right down here.

You will have to sign this, too.

It's in both our names.

Eh, eh, now, see, I've
already signed it.

Dear, where is my fountain pen?

I know I put it in my pock--

- Here it is, dear.

You just thought you
put it in your pocket.

- Well, anyhow, you
sign right there.

That's the ticket.

- Incidentally, dear, what did
the cleaner say about my dress?

- The dress?
- Yes.

You did drop it off there
this morning, didn't you?

- Great Scott, Martha.

I drove right by the cleaners
and forgot all about it.

I'm sorry, dear.

It's still out in the car.

- Well, I'll drive over with it.

Really, George!

Your memory is getting
to be terrible lately.

- Oh, everybody forgets
once in a while, my dear.

Don't you worry, I won't forget
to take this stock down and get

our $500.

You can bet on that.

- I'll be back by the
time you're ready to go.

[doorbell rings]

- I'll get it.

- Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

Is Mr. Wilson home?

MARTHA (OFFSCREEN): Well,
uh, yes, he's here, Dennis.

But, uh, I don't think it's
a good time for you, boys,

to come in right now.

- Oh, send them in, Martha.

The way I feel today, I'm
even glad to see Dennis.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson!

- Hello, Dennis, Tommy.

Nice to see you, boys.

Although I am pretty
busy this morning, and--

- Oh, we're busy, too.

But, boy, have we got
a surprise for you.

- What did you break?

- We didn't break anything.

- Oh, no.

This surprise is different.

- Oh?

- You see, there's this
brand new club just started.

- Oh?

- The Tree House Club.

And we had a meeting
of the whole club.

And you, Mr. Wilson, have
just been elected president!

- Oh, my goodness,
Martha! [chuckles]

- Congratulations, Mr. President.

- Congratulations.

You won.

- Well, this is a surprise.

My goodness!

President, eh? [chuckles]

Uh, how about that, Martha?

- I always said you'd be
president someday, dear.

- Well-- [chuckles]

Oh, how many members
are in the club?

- Well, counting me and
Tommy, you make three!

- The dues are a dollar.

- A dollar for due.

I see.

- We needed to buy a gavel
so the president can

bang on the table with it.

- Oh, that's a good
idea, all right, Dennis.

But my goodness, a dollar.

That's a pretty expensive club.

Don't you think so, Martha?

- Well, it's not as expensive
as the country club, dear.

- Right.

And he's not even
the president there.

- By golly, Dennis, it's a deal.

[laughs]

Eh, oh, I don't have any
change on me right now.

But I have to go down to the
bank anyway on some business.

And the minute I get back, I'll
pay you my dollar and join.

How's that?

- Boy, that's swell!

- [chuckles]

- I'm going now, dear.

I'll be back shortly.

- Oh, all right, Martha.

Well, boys, I will
see you later.

[laughs]

Now, I'm going upstairs
and take a bath.

And I don't want anyone
ringing my doorbell

or bothering me while I'm
in the tub, you understand?

- Oh, we won't bother
you, Mr. Wilson,

because the quicker
you go to the bank,

the quicker you can get
back to join our club.

- And pay your dollar.

- That's right.

- Bye, Mr. President.

- Goodbye, boys.

- Good old Mr.
Wilson, he is going

to make a dandy president.

- I hope he doesn't
change his mind.

- Listen, we're going to
fix up that tree house.

He will just love it, Tommy.

We'll put everything
he likes up there,

so it'll just be
like home for him.

- That's a good idea, Dennis.

Hey, one thing he
likes is flowers.

- Yeah!

We'll put his favorite
flowers up there--

this one and that one.

And here's a flower
magazine he likes to read.

Boy, is he ever going to be
glad he got elected president.

- Hey, Mom!

Guess who's going to join
our club and be president?

- Mr. Wilson!

- Oh, heck, Tommy.

I was going to tell her.

- Well, you can tell her about
him paying the dollar dues.

- Yeah, guess what, Mom?

Mr. Wilson's going to
pay-- aw, Tommy, gee-whiz!

- I'm sorry, Dennis, but I
didn't hear what Tommy said.

Now, who's going
to do what, dear?

- Mr. Wilson!

He's going to be president
of our Tree House Club

and pay us a dollar for dues.

- Well, now, isn't
that wonderful?

- What else have you got that
we could fix it up with, Mom?

- Ooh, let's see.

What else do you want?

- Just think Mr. Wilson likes.

Hey, he likes birds, Dennis.

- Yeah, have we got
any bird pictures?

- I don't know.

I'll look around.

- And we ought to
have a special chair

for the president to sit on.

Mr. Wilson doesn't fit too
good on a box because--

[doorbell rings]

- I'll get it!

- I'll get it, Dennis!

- Your new phone book, ma'am.
I'll take the old one, please.

- Fine.

Dennis, get the
other one, will you?

- We sure do need
a new phone book.

There's no place to draw
on this one anymore.

It's all full.

- [chuckles]

It certainly is.

- Well, you got a brand new
one now to work on, son.

- Hey, Mister!

Wait a minute!

- [gasps]

- And he doesn't like
people ringing his doorbell

when he's in the tub.

So I better take his
phone book in for you.

- OK, fine.

Just throw the old
one here in the truck.

- Come on, Tommy.

It's a good thing I
thought about this, Tommy.

- It sure is.

- Mr. Wilson gets
pretty mad when he

has to come downstairs
with his towel just

to answer the doorbell.

(WHISPERS) No need
to talk loud, Tommy.

We don't want to bother
Mr. Wilson at all.

- (WHISPERS) Sure.

He sure does like it quiet when
he's taking a bath, doesn't he?

- (WHISPERS) I'll say.

- (WHISPERS) He doesn't even like
it filling your water pistol

in his tub, even
if you are quiet.

- I don't see why
the phone company

wants the old
books back, Dennis.

What do they do with them?

- They put them in that big
red house over past the park,

you know, where we used to play.

- I know where they
put them, Dennis.

But what do they do with them?

They're no good.

- Oh, yes, they are.

My dad told me all about them.

The put these old books
into a big grinder

and grind them up into pulk.

- What's that?
- Pulk?

Why it's just little bitty bits
of ground-up phone that's all.

I guess they-- look, Tommy!

Look at this swell picture
of an eagle, I think.

- That's not an eagle.

That's a hawk.

- Well, it's some kind of a bird.

Boy, this sure is
going to look swell

on the wall of our tree house.

- Yeah!

Buzzard Mountain Mining
Company, I love you.

Pupup, penem-- uh, oh!

Uh.

- [laughs].

Congratulations.

Mrs. Wilson's just been telling
us about your big stock deal.

- Oh-ho, thank you, Mitchell.

Yes, it's a very nice
surprise, all right.

I'll tell you that.

I never thought that stuff
would be worth a nickel.

- You don't think they'll change
their minds, do you, dear?

- Oh, certainly not.

It's a big syndicate.

They're buying up all they
can find, Martha. $5 a share.

- $500?

- Yeah, in fact, the bank called
again just a few minutes ago

to make sure I'm
coming in today.

- [chuckles]

They're certainly
anxious to buy it.

- Well, not any more anxious
than I am to sell it.

- Where is the stock
certificate, dear?

I hope you remember
where you put it.

- Well, certainly, I
remember where I put it.

It's in there in the phone book.

- Huh?

Eagles don't look like that.

- This eagle does.

- If it's an eagle, why
does he look so sad?

Eagles aren't sad.

- We'll go ask Mr. Wilson.

He'll tell you
what this eagle is.

- OK.

- Where did you say you
put the stock, dear?

In the phone book?

- That's right.

It should be pressed out
nice and flat by now.

- It's not in the
phone book, George.

Think again.

- Oh-oho what do you mean
it's not in the phone book?

Of course, it's
in the phone book.

That's where I put it, and
that's where it has to be.

It's in the phone book.

It's stock--

- Think again, dear.

- Uh, it has to be here.

- Look, he's looking
at his new phone book.

- Yeah, I'll bet he's surprised.

Hi, Mr. Wilson!

You like your new phone book?

Hi, Dad!

- Not now, Dennis.

Mr. Wilson's too busy to talk.

- My "new" phone book?
- Sure.

The phone man was going
to ring your doorbell

while you were taking a bath.

Well, we didn't
let him bother you.

- Oh, no!

- No, we didn't let him in.

I put that new book in
there for you myself.

- Oh, Dennis.

- Wha-- the, the, the
old one, the old book--

what did you do
with the old book?

- Oh, the phone man took that.

- He's going to grind
it up into pulk.

- Great Scott!

Where are my glasses?

Oh, I've got them, uh.

Martha, call the
phone-- I'll get it.

I'll get it.
I'll do it.

I'll do it.

I'll do-- operator?

Hello, operator.

- You have to dial 1, Mr. Wilson.

- Hello, operator.

Give me the phone company.

I know you're the phone company.

Give me someone I can talk to.

Well, it's about my phone book.

No, I've got the new one.

It's the old phone book.

I'd-- oh!

- I guess this isn't
a very good time

to ask him about
the picture, Tommy.

- This is not a good time
to ask him about anything.

Now, run on home.

I'll see you later.

- And we must get
our phone book back.

- Get the address.

- Yes.

If you could tell me
where your man takes them,

we could go there
and look for it.

Yes.

I'll hang on.

- We got our tree house
fixed up swell for you now.

So any time you're
ready, Mr. President.

- Oh.

- Dennis, we're going home.
I'll be right back.

And then we'll go
down and find out

where they keep those books.
I'll help you look for it.

- (MOANING) Oh, oh!

- The office says you can look.

But it won't do you any good.

Well, here they are.

How about it?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

Nice, neat piles.

TOMMY (OFFSCREEN): That's a
keen bird picture there, Dennis.

That's a real eagle, boy.

- Yeah, I cut it out of
Mr. Wilson's magazine.

- What did you do with
the other picture?

- Oh, I put that away.

It was a goofy-looking
bird anyhow.

- Yeah.

- I feel kind of bad about
this whole thing, Tommy.

Poor good old Mr. Wilson.

$500 is a lot of money.

- I'll say.

It wasn't our fault, though.

- It wasn't Mr.
Wilson's fault either.

And I don't think it's
right for him and Dad

to be hunting through all those
phone books by themselves.

- Do you think they'd get mad if
we went over and helped them?

- Tommy, there's one
thing about my dad.

When he has a lot
of hard work to do,

he doesn't care who helps him.
Let's go!

- [groans]

Whew!

Well, look carefully, Mitchell.

Let's not miss it.

That stock just has
to here somewhere.

- Oh, we'll find it, Mr. Wilson.

- [grunts]

- That's what everybody
says, all right.

We'll find it, they say.

They never do, though.

Very seldom.

It's the odds that
beat them every time.

You take right
now, for instance.

We've got about 6,000 or
7,000 phone books in here.

- At least.

- So the odds on finding yours
is around 7,000 to 1-- against.

Hardly worth trying.

- Thanks for the kind words.

- Say, I got to get back
to the front office.

Time for my coffee break.

I'll be around, though.

Um, when you're ready
to give up, just holler.

- There they are, Tommy.

Hi, Mr. Wilson!

Hi, Dad!

- Dennis, I thought I
told you to stay home.

- Oh no, Dad.

You just told us to stay
out of Mr. Wilson's yard.

Didn't he, Tommy?

- Yep.

- Just stay out of our way.

We're looking for Mr.
Wilson's phone book.

- And I thought we were
looking for money, $500?

- Not money, a piece of
paper that's worth $500.

- Dennis, leave Mr. Wilson alone.

If you want to help, look
through some of these books.

And anything you find,
let me see it, understand?

- Understand, Tommy?

Whatever we find,
Dad wants to see it.

- Hey, I found something already.

It says S-T-O-C-K--

- What is it?

- Is that it?

- A stocking sale.

- Yes.

Yes, I'll tell him.

- The bank again?

- Yes.

Strange.

Every time I mentioned
the stock being

lost, he acts as if
he doesn't believe me,

as if I'm joking or something.

- Oh, it certainly isn't
any joking matter.

Thank you for the
tea, Mrs. Wilson.

Oh, there must be thousands
of phone books down there.

What a job!

- Yes, I'm sure it's no fun.

- Well, goodbye.
- Goodbye.

- This sure is fun,
isn't it, Mr. Wilson?

- No.

- Just like a treasure hunt.

- Yeah, a treasure hunt.

If you find it, is there
any reward, Mr. Wilson?

- Reward?

- Of course not, Tommy.

He's already going to
give us a dollar when

he gets change for dues.

- [groans]

- Besides, Mr. Wilson
is our president

as soon as he pays us.

And anything we can
do for our president--

- Oh, boys, there are thousands
of phone books in here.

Would you mind working
somewhere else?

- Dennis, now, you listen to me.

Either you and Tommy stay
clear out of our way,

or you can go on home.

Now, just take your choice.

- OK, Daddy.

We'll go find Mr. Wilson's
book way down this way.

Come on, Tommy.

- [sighs]

I got to stop here,
my back hurts.

- Me, too.

Oh, we must have gone
through 1,000 books.

Just look at this pile.

- Oh, yeah.

It's mighty
discouraging, ain't it?

- But we'll find it
sooner or later.

- Well, anyway, I'm glad
we're not just starting out.

- Hey, Dad, look!

I found our phone book!

I could tell by
my pictures on it!

- Dennis!

Look out!

The books!

- (YELLS) Ooh!

[crash]

- Oh!

- [grunts]

- Oh, no!

Everything mixed up.

Now, we'll have to
start at all over again!

- Yes, sir.

It's mighty discouraging.

- Me and Tommy want to help
Mr. Wilson find his phone

book because, gee, we
helped him lose it.

- Yes, that you did.

- And we were helping
all what we could.

Nobody appreciates it.

Besides, Dad made us go home.

- Well, they were probably
working hard down there, dear.

And you may have been just
a little bit in the way.

- We were working
hard, too, all day.

We got our tree house
fixed up so swell.

Now, nobody will even
come and look at it.

- I'd like to see it.

- You would?

- Well, of course, I would.

You said it was just for men.

And I didn't want to
intrude or anything.

- Well, you can't really join the
club, but you can look at it.

Come on!

Come on!

What do you think, Mom?

- Oh, it looks,
uh, eh, it looks--

- You like it?

- Well, it's got everything.

It's got a rug on
the floor and a table

and magazines and chair.

It's got everything, all right.

- That chair's just
for Mr. Wilson.

See what it says?

That's says, "for
the president."

Tommy's dad got it for us.

- Oh, isn't that nice?

- We even got his
favorite magazine.

Mr. Wilson just
loves this magazine.

I got it off the
table in his patio.

- Oh?

Well, now, I think you'd
better put this right back

on the table in his patio
because right now, we

don't want any more
trouble, honey.

- Well, OK.

But I thought he
could read it when

he's up here being president.

He's probably never going
to come up here now.

- Don't you worry.

You and Tommy will have just
as much fun without him.

Now, don't forget to put that
right back where you found it.

- OK.

- Well, for goodness sake.

Thank heavens!

GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): Martha!

Where are you?

- Out here, George, in the patio.

Come on out, dear.

I've got some ice-cold lemonade.

I'm sure you need it.

- No luck.

- I know.

I mean, I could tell
by looking at you.

Now, just sit down, dear,
and relax. [chuckles]

Read your magazine.

- Oh, I don't feel
like reading anything.

$500 right down the drain.

- Oh, maybe not, George.

Maybe if you think
real hard, you'll

remember where you put it.

- Where I put it?

Where I put it?

Martha, I put it
in the phone book.

That's where I put it!

Look, the book was lying on
the desk, just like this, see?

I opened the book,
just like this, see?

Great Scott!

- There it is, George.

Right where you put it.

- Why, now, well,
I could have sworn

I put it in the phone book.

- Could have sworn, you did
swear you put in the phone book

over and over and over.

- Everyone can forget at times.

- Of course, dear, everybody
has lapses of memory.

If you just wouldn't
be so loudly

positive. [clicks tongues]

- And here, I've been blaming
Dennis for this all day.

Well, I-- I suppose you're
right about everyone

being forgetful at times.

- Of course.

It's no crime.

- No, no.

In fact, actually, I suppose
the ability to forget

is sort of a-- a mark
of genius in a way.

- Well, I wasn't going that far.

- Well, take Albert
Einstein, for instance.

Now, he could tell you where
every star in the universe was.

But I understand he
could never remember

where he put his glasses.

[all laugh]
DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Mr. Wilson?

I was up in the tree house.

And I heard you say Dennis.

So I-- oh, where'd
you get our picture?

- Your picture?

- Oh, I remember.

I put it in your magazine
up in the tree house.

You can have it if you want.

- You had it?
Where did you get it?

- Me and Tommy found
it in the street

after I threw Mr. Wilson's
phone book in the truck.

- Aha!

[doorbell rings]

- By golly!

I knew I put that stock
in the phone book.

Yes, sir, I told you so, Martha.

Ha-ha!

And a perfect memory is
the mark of a strong mind.

And I knew my memory
was perfect about this.

Martha, I'd-- where did she go?

Oh, oh, why, Mr. Clark, hello.

I've-- I was just
going to call you, sir.

- Yes, I know.

Mrs. Wilson and I have
been playing cat-and-mouse

on the telephone all day.

Now, we are reasonable
people, Mr. Wilson.

If you felt that $5 a
share wasn't enough,

why don't you just so?

- Well, I say so,
but, uh, you said--

- So you lost your stock, eh?

Well, very shrewd of you.

All right.

I have a check here for $700.

That's $7 a share.

- Instead of $700?

- Yeah.

Can you find your stock now?

- Well, yes, I-- I think I can.

- [chuckles]

- Well, Martha, how about that?

Look at that, Mitchell.

- $200 more, you just made.

- [laughs]

By golly, I didn't realize
what a tremendous thing

my subconscious mind is, Martha.

- It is?

- I must somehow known
in my subconscious

that if I put that
stock in the phone book,

Dennis would lose it.

- That's logical, I think.

- And then some sort
of inner genius

told me that if Dennis lost
it, the price would go up.

- Up $200.

[all laugh]

- Oh, oh, uh, don't
worry, Mr. Clark.

It's all endorsed
and ready to go.

Well, now, eh, if
you'll excuse me,

I've been invited to join
a very exclusive club.

- A club?

- He's the president.

- It's dues are a dollar,
meets in a tree. [chuckles]

Oh, Mitchell, uh,
lend me a dollar.

- [chuckles]

- There you are,
Dennis. [chuckles]

I kept you out on
a limb long enough.

Let's go. [laughs]

Our club.

[theme music]

NARRATOR: This has been a
Screen Gems Film Production

from the Hollywood studios
of Columbia Pictures.