Original subtitles

- Dennis (OFFSCREEN): Hey, Mom!

Mom!

- What is it, Dennis?

- Dennis (OFFSCREEN): Come here, quick!

I want to show you something.

- I can't, Dennis.

I'm darning socks.

Bring it in here.

- Okay, I'm coming. Hey, Mom.

Guess what your good old clothes basket just did?

- What?

- It had kittens! [gasp]

[theme music]

[voice on phone]

- Party lines. Yakety yak.

Yakety yakety yak.

- Oh, Honey.

I've just been talking to Mr. Wilson,

and told me something very interesting.

The man who's moving into that empty house down the street

is Ed Driscoll.

- Ed Driscoll? - Yes.

He's the general manager for Gallagher Plastics.

- Well good for him.

But how does that concern us?

- Well, it's just that his firm would

be a good business prospect.

- Oh, you can't have too many of those.

- As long as he's moving into the neighborhood,

there's no reason why I shouldn't meet him.

Who knows?

They may turn out to be people we'd

enjoy spending an evening with. - That's right

- Line still busy?

- Yes, I've been trying to call Gloria and Bill for a bridge

game tonight.

- We never used to have this problem

with the other people who were on the line.

- No, and whoever these people are,

I think they have a dozen children

who use the phone continuously. - Let's see what I can do.

This last week been impossible.

Excuse me for interrupting.

Do you realize this is a party line?

- Somebody's asking if we know this is a party line.

- Tell them sure we know it's a party line,

because we're having a telephone party.

- Sure, we know it.

We're having a telephone party.

They hung up.

- They probably didn't want to interrupt.

- It's a bunch of kids, all right.

They say they're having a telephone party.

- Well, that's the limit.

- It is pretty irritating, isn't it?

- Hey, Eric.

Why don't you come on over here to the clubhouse.

We're going to call Joey again.

He's got the chicken pox.

Okay, but hurry up.

- Is he coming?

- Sure.

He wants to talk to Joey, and then he's

going to call his grandpa.

- I think I'll call my grandpa, too.

- Okay, but not until we talk to Joey.

- Boy, I hope nobody ever moves into this good old empty house.

- Hello?

Mrs. McDonald?

This is Dennis.

Can I speak to Joey for a minute?

Oh.

What time will he wake up?

Oh.

Heck, no.

Mom doesn't care if use the phone too much.

She doesn't even know about it.

Okay, I'll call later. Bye.

- Now I'm going to call my grandpa in Texas.

- Do you know his number?

- No, but I bet the operator does.

- Hey, there's a moving van outside.

- Boy, I hope nobody is moving in.

- We'll just tell them they've got the wrong place,

because this is our clubhouse.

- Hey, here they come.

- Hi.

What house are you looking for?

- This one.

What are you kids doing in here?

- Jeepers, when they left the door unlocked,

somebody had to guard it.

- Well you don't have to guard it no more.

The Driscolls are moving in.

Out of the way, kids. Come on.

Out of the way.

- How'd you kids get in here?

- Through the back door.

- We helped the telephone man put in a phone last week.

- He left in such a hurry, he forgot to lock it.

- He even forgot his pliers.

He said he was having an attack of nerves.

- Well we're going to move some furniture in the house,

so you boys better run along.

- We'll help.

- No, you will not.

- Easy does it, Floyd.

- Hey, son furniture is very heavy.

I'm afraid you wouldn't be able to handle it.

- Jeepers, if it's that heavy, I'd

think you'd need us to help.

- Listen, kid.

When you've got a build like mine,

you don't need no help from nobody.

- Floyd here is the strongest assistant driver

in the company.

- Can I feel your muscle?

- Sure.

- Wow.

That's the hardest muscle I ever met.

- Really?

- Want to feel mine?

Do the new people have any kids?

- I don't know.

- Didn't you ask them?

- No.

- Well do you think they have any kids?

- Probably not.

I haven't seen any. - Then who rides that scooter?

The mother or the father? - You know who rides it.

They have a kid. - A boy or a girl?

- I don't know.

I told you I haven't seen any.

- Then how do you know they got one?

- I should have sat this one out.

- What next, Joe?

- The stove.

- Hey, can I feel your muscle?

- Sure.

- Wow.

Jeepers, it's like a regular leg.

- Come on, Floyd. Get a hold of the end of this.

- That's OK, Joe.

I'll handle it myself.

- Floyd, now stop showing off for the kids.

- All right. - Is the dolly in position?

I

- Yeah.

- Oh, we better move this little wagon out of the way,

so they won't trip over it.

- There yet?

- Can't find it.

- What's he doing?

Jeepers, he's so strong, he can carry a stove

and do a tap dance at the same time.

- Set it down, Joe.

- Now boys, you mustn't play with our dolly.

- We don't play with dolls.

- We just moved that little wagon out of the way

so you wouldn't trip and skin your knee.

- This little wagon is known as a dolly.

- Hi, Mr. Driscoll.

- Hi, men.

How's it coming?

- Slow but sure, Mr. Driscoll.

- Hi, Mr. Driscoll.

Are you the new neighbor?

- Oh, yes, I am.

Who are you?

- We're the old neighbors.

I'm Dennis, and this is Tommy.

- Well, very nice meeting you.

- I know it.

And I've got a good handshake, too.

- Do you have any or girls?

- Yes, I have a boy just about your age.

His name is Terry.

- Is he a pretty good kid?

- Well, I would say so.

- When are we going to see him?

- I'm going to right in now and phone his mother,

if the phone is connected. - It's connected.

- Well, it was very nice meeting you boys,

and I hope you'll come over and play

with Terry when he gets here.

- Sure, we will.

Has he got any good toys?

- Well, why don't you come over and find out.

- Okay.

And he can come over and try mine after.

- Bye-bye, boys. - Bye.

- Bye, Mr. Driscoll.

- You want to come over to my house and get an apple?

- No, I think I'll just stay here and watch their stuff go in.

- OK, I'll be back. Good-bye.

- I hope the party's over.

I'm going to try and communicate with the outside world.

Wish me luck. - Oh, I do.

Who are you calling?

- The boss.

I thought I'd let him know that Ed Driscoll was

moving into the neighborhood.

- Yes, dear.

The men are moving the furniture in now.

Right.

Oh, and tell Terry there's some nice little boys

in the neighborhood for him to play- Excuse me,

I'm using this phone.

- You certainly are.

This is a party line, you know.

- Did you hear that, Catherine?

This is the first call I've made on this phone,

and some boob is complaining

- This time there was a man on the line.

I reminded them that this is a party line.

- Yes, I heard you.

Only I wouldn't have been quite so polite about it.

- You would have given him both barrels

- I certainly would.

- I was the one who interrupted his conversation.

- Oh, Henry.

Be reasonable.

- I thought I was.

- Yes, but don't be that reasonable.

- Hey, the new kid got here.

- Yeah? You talk to him?

You talk to him? - Uh-uh.

We just looked at each other for a while.

Then I threw a rock at the tree.

And then he threw one.

And then he went in the house.

He's a pretty good kid.

- Yeah?

Then why'd he go in the house?

- Because he's got this swell little car

that you can ride in.

It's the best little car I ever saw in my whole life.

- Why don't we go in and help him drive it?

- I tried to, but the moving man told me to stay outside.

Of course, Mr. Driscoll did ask us

to come over and play with Terry.

- He sure did.

- Come on!

I've got a way we can get in.

- That's right, Mr. Hall, just four houses away.

- Now, Henry, this is important.

I want you to go over and meet Mr. Driscoll right away.

- While he's in the process of moving?

- Certainly.

Why not?

- Well it just seemed like a rather inconvenient time

to bother him.

- Henry, you've got to be aggressive in business today.

- I agree with you, Mr, Hall.

But, golly, let's let the poor guy move in first.

- Sometimes I think you're too much of a gentleman.

- As a gentleman I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll go over to Mr. Driscoll and welcome him

into the neighborhood and offer him my help.

How's that? - Good, good.

And things will be in a turmoil there.

Invite them to dinner.

- Well, that might be a nice idea.

We have a bridge date, but we can cancel that.

Excuse me, I'm talking on the phone.

- Yes, continually.

What do you do?

Sell magazine subscriptions?

- Will you please get off the line?

- We'll be through in just a minute.

- You shouldn't let that guy talk to you like that, Henry.

- Oh, he's probably all right.

We've just gotten off on the wrong footing.

I thought I'd go to the phone company

and find out who he was, and go talk with him,

and straighten out our differences.

- That's what I mean about your lack of aggressiveness.

You should have told him off.

Why, the man's an inconsiderate nincompoop.

- I'll get over to Mr. Driscoll right away.

- Good. I understand he's a fine fellow.

- Bye, Mr. Hall.

- I don't care what excuse the phone company gives,

I want a private line.

- Now, dear, one won't be available for a few more weeks.

There are so many housing developments in this area

that some of the oldest residents have two-party lines.

- Well, I'd like to meet our party boob.

I'd tell him a thing or two.

- Let's move this sofa down this way about a foot.

- Yes, ma'am. - Get off the sofa, Terry.

And get that car out of here.

- Oh, you finally got rid of those kids, Floyd?

- Yeah, they were gone when I came out.

Hey, did I handle this thing alone the first time?

- I think so. Why?

- Oh, nothing.

Just thinking.

Hey, kid.

Move that thing out of the way, would you?

- Hi.

- Hey!

- Did those kids follow me in here?

- Sort of.

- Hello, everybody.

- It seems like you've got a couple of passengers.

Let the chair down.

- We got a ride.

- Every job's got something wrong with it.

A flight of stairs or a kid like Dennis.

- My dear, these are the little boys I was telling you about.

This is Dennis and Tommy.

- Hello, boys.

- Hi.

- Terry.

And this is our son, Terry.

- We already said hi.

[doorbell rings]

- Who can that be?

- Well, our first visitor.

- Hey, what about me and Tommy?

- Excuse me, Dennis.

Our third visitor.

- Yes?

- Mr. Driscoll, I'm Henry Mitchell, your neighbor.

- How do you do?

- I just came over to welcome you into the neighborhood,

and see if there wasn't something I could do to help.

- Well that's very nice of you Mr. Mitchell,

but we're doing just fine.

Oh, come in and meet my family.

- Hi, Dad.

You're our third visitor.

- Dennis, Tommy.

What are you two doing here at the Driscolls?

- We're just looking them over.

- Dennis!

- That's all right.

Mr. Mitchell, I want to meet my wife, Catherine.

- Hello. - How do you do?

- And this is our son Terry.

- Hi, Terry.

Dennis, why don't you run out and play?

You're just in the way in here.

- Okay.

Can Terry come out and play with us?

- I think that's a good idea.

- I'll show you my own personal frogs.

- I know how hectic moving days can be.

Why don't you all join us for dinner?

- Oh, no.

We don't want to put you through the trouble.

- We were planning to eat in a restaurant.

- Oh, it's no trouble at all.

My wife Alice has a casserole in the oven,

and we'd love to have you.

- Well, thank you.

That would be nice.

- Good.

Make it 6 o'clock.

We're four houses down on the left.

- Thank you.

- Well, thank you for coming over Mr. Mitchell.

- Not at all, and please call me Henry.

- All right, Henry.

Call me Ed.

- Okay, Ed.

- See you at six.

- Now wasn't that nice?

- Yes, very thoughtful.

And did you have the feeling we've

met him before, Catherine?

- No.

- I did.

There's something about him that seems very familiar.

- You know, honey, it's a funny thing.

I have the feeling I've met him before someplace.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Can't figure out where, but he certainly seems familiar.

Oh, incidentally, they'll be here at 6 o'clock.

You better call Phil and Gloria and cancel that bridge game.

- Oh.

I'll do it right away. - Hi.

Where are my roller skates?

- Hi.

They're on the back porch.

- Dennis, you know who's coming for dinner tonight?

Mr. and Mrs. Driscoll and Terry.

- Swell. Let's have weenies.

- We're having a casserole.

Would you like to ask Tommy to come have dinner with you, too?

- Oh, Tommy can't come.

His dad's taking him to a prize fight tonight.

- Oh.

- You know what Tommy said, Dad?

He said his dad could lick you.

- What did you say to Tommy?

- Jeepers, what could I say?

I knew you'd just laugh.

You'd never fight anybody.

- Well that does it, Alice.

From now on you're going to see a more aggressive Henry

Mitchell.

- Oh, Henry.

- I mean it.

I'm not going to have my son growing up

thinking his father wouldn't put up a fight.

From now on you're going to see a changed man.

- Now, Henry.

- I don't want to talk about it, honey.

Make your phone call if you can get through on the party line.

- Well, I'm in luck.

Hello, Gloria?

Alice.

I wonder if we could postpone our bridge game tonight.

Well, something unexpected came up.

Oh, thank you.

Why don't we set it for next Friday night?

Fine. Come over about 8 o'clock.

Excuse me, I'm using the phone.

I'll be off in a second.

- Hello?

Listen, Buster.

We've been patient long enough.

When we're on the phone, you stay off,

you and your family of phone hogs.

- Thank you, tiger.

As you can see, Gloria, we're having party line trouble.

Well, fine.

We'll see you then next Friday night.

All right. Bye.

- Who are you calling?

- I'm calling the phone company and register a complaint

against that inconsiderate nincompoop.

- Excuse me.

I'll just take look at the casserole.

- Of course. Can I do anything?

- Oh, no thank you.

Sit still.

- What business are you in, Henry?

- I'm an engineer with Hall Engineering.

- Really?

Well that's a coincidence.

I've been meaning to talk to you people about a construction job

we have coming up.

- Any time you say, Ed.

- Well it won't be tonight.

I'm so mad.

Just before we came over here, we had a call--

- Now, Ed, let's not bother them with our problems.

- I guess you're right.

- Have you got some kind of a secret going on?

- Well, it's no secret.

It's just that we are having trouble

with the people on our party line.

- Oh?

- What kind of trouble?

- Well, they're very rude.

They break in our conversations.

- Gee, that's funny, isn't it, Dad?

Isn't it funny that they have the same kind of trouble

that we have-- - Dennis.

You did just move into today, didn't you?

- That's right.

- And there's been no one in your house during the past week?

- No, nobody.

- I just wanted to tell--

- Dennis, you're interrupting.

As a matter of fact, we've been having

quite a party line problem ourselves.

- Oh, it's annoying isn't it?

- You wouldn't believe the fathead I've had to deal with.

- Oh, I'd believe it.

I've got one of my own.

If I ever meet him face to face, I

swear I'll punch him right in the nose.

- Do you know that's exactly how I

feel about the nincompoop on my line?

- Well, you might as well tell Henry what our man did.

- Dinner will be ready very shortly.

- Fine.

- Wonderful.

I was just telling Henry about the nitwit

we have our party line.

- Oh, there's a lot of that going around.

- So I hear.

Well just before we came over here,

I had a call from the phone company.

Apparently this knothead put in a complaint.

- Isn't that funny, Dad?

You put in a complaint.

- Dennis, never mind.

- But don't you remember, Mom?

He told the phone company that we

had an inconsiderate nincompoop.

- Does that mean you, Dad?

Are you going to punch him in the nose?

- Henry, please.

- Ed, control yourself.

- I'm sure this is just one of those crazy coincidences.

- Why, of course.

We just moved in today.

- And we've had the problem for a week.

- But, Mom--

- Dennis, not now.

I apologize, Ed.

It just shows you how upset you can

get when you've got a nincompoop on your line.

- Well, it's just as much my fault as it is yours.

After all, I've got my nitwit.

- I'm sure glad they're gonna fight.

- Yeah, me, too.

So they never will.

I'm going to tell them what really happened.

You want me to straighten this thing out for you, Dad?

- Straighten what out, son?

- About Mr. Driscoll's phone.

It was put in last week, and me and all the kids

have been using it.

The phone man left your back door open.

So it was really Mr. Driscoll you

were talking to when you called him a nincompoop.

Isn't that funny?

- And that means you called him a nitwit, huh, Dad.

[phone ringing]

- I'll get it.

- Well I don't think it's very funny.

- Well I can't say that I particularly

enjoy being called a nitwit.

- I was just being polite.

What do you mean calling me a nincompoop?

- Hello?

He's here, Mr. Hall, but I don't think

he can talk to you right now.

He's about to punch Mr. Driscoll in the nose.

- And at that point, the Driscolls left.

- But you-- you didn't hit him.

- Of course not.

- Well, I'm surprised.

Surprised and disappointed that you'd

let such a situation develop.

It just isn't like you, Henry.

- You're right, Mr. Hall, it isn't.

If I had handled this my way, this never would have happened.

My mistake was in taking your advice.

- Oh?

Now here's what I want you to do.

Go over to the Driscolls and apologize.

- I think Mr. Driscoll should apologize to me.

Before it was all over, he got pretty insulting.

- Now that's an order.

I want to go over there and apologize.

- In that case, Mr. Hall, I quit.

- Well, now wait, Henry.

There's no need for you to be so-- so--

- So aggressive, Mr. Hall?

- Well, yes.

And let's not hear any more of this nonsense

about you quitting.

- Dad, I just got through talking to Tommy on the telephone.

We've got it all planned for 10 o'clock Saturday

morning in the vacant lot.

- What have you got planned?

- For you and Tommy's to have your fight.

- Terry, if you're sneaking out to play with Dennis Mitchell,

forget it.

- Dad, how come Terry's dad won't let him play with me?

- Well, that's pretty hard to explain, son.

But as long as things are the way they are,

let's just accept it, huh?

- But jeepers, it's been four whole days.

- Why don't you go out and play with Tommy?

- Me and him aren't talking anymore.

- Why not?

He's your best friend.

- Not anymore.

- What happened?

- We were playing a game, and I started calling him names.

And he started calling me names.

And pretty soon we were both so mad, we went home.

And I haven't seen him since.

- That's pretty childish.

What kind of a game was it?

- Well, I was pretending I was you,

and Tommy was playing he was Mr. Driscoll.

Boy, I sure do wish I could play with Terry.

- What's the matter, dear?

- Honey, how about taking a little walk over

to the Driscolls?

- Well, fine, but why?

What made you change your mind?

- Well, I've just been having a little talk

with Dennis about his argument with Tommy.

It seemed so silly.

Suddenly it was like seeing myself in the mirror.

Come on. Let's go.

Dennis.

- Dad?

- Yes?

- How come we're going over to Terry's house

just to look at his lawn?

- Your father will explain it to you someday,

dear, when you're about 30.

- OK.

I don't think anybody's home at Terry's house.

- Why?

- On account of here they come.

- Hi, Dennis.

- Hi, Terry. - Hi, Terry.

You and your folks out for a little walk?

- Uh-huh.

They're coming over to see how your new grass is

getting along.

- Hey, you want to come over to my house?

- Sure, what do we do?

- Well, you know those little airplanes

you wind up with a rubber band?

- Sure.

- Well, I found a swell wooden box

big enough for me to get in.

And I'm going to put a propeller and wings on it

and wind it up with a whole inner tube.

And if it works as good as I think it will,

I'm going to start my own Air Force.

Come on. [theme music]