Original subtitles

- Mom, dad.

- Did you-- what is it, Dennis?

- You can't want another glass of water.

- Heck, no.

I just had a glass while I was downstairs.

- What were you doing downstairs?

- I went down to see who was making all that noise.

And boy, will you be surprised when I tell you who it was.

- Who?

- It's that masked ranger from TV,

wearing his mask and everything.

And I think he's going to do another good deed.

- What?

- Sure, mom.

I think he's going to clean all your silver 'cuz

he's taking it all out of the buffet.

[theme music]

- Dennis, don't slam--

[door slam]

- I couldn't help it this time, mom.

I gotta get hold of some money fast.

Hey, has anybody been doing any borrowing out of this bank?

- Oh, why Dennis, of course not.

- Does it sound like there's $2 in here?

- No. No, I'd say not.

- There were $2 in here right after Christmas.

- Yes, but that was before you learned

how to shake the money out of it to buy sodas and candy.

- I just gotta have $2.

- What do you need it for?

- Something that cost Georgie $8 and I

can have the whole thing for $2 if I act fast.

- Ooh.

What is this great bargain?

- I'll show you.

Georgie's white mice-- Jennifer and Caesar with the whole cage.

- Oh, fine.

Just what we need.

- Sure.

And the cage is just perfect.

Except the door's a little bit loose, but dad can fix that.

Isn't that swell?

- Oh, swell.

- So will you give me the $2?

- No, I won't.

Now if you want those two mice, you can just buy them yourself.

- Boy.

I've got a swell start.

Now all I need need is $1.95 to go.

- That's the spirit.

Got any ideas on how to earn the rest of it?

- Sure.

Mrs. Wilson's away and maybe good ol'

Mr. Wilson needs something done.

[doorbell]

- Yes, who is it?

- It's me, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, hello, Dennis.

- I got something real important to talk to you about.

- OK, talk.

- Jeepers, with you up there and me down here,

isn't it kind of hard for you to hear me?

- As a matter of fact, it is.

You better talk louder.

- (SHOUTING) I got something real important to show you.

- All right, Dennis.

The front door is unlocked.

Come on in.

- No, it isn't.

- Maybe it was the back door I left open for the gas man.

- All right now, Dennis.

What did you-- Dennis?

Dennis?

- Yes, Mr. Wilson?

Up here, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh.

Oh, there you are.

How did you get up there?

- I came up the stairs.

How'd you get down there?

- Well I came down the stairs.

- Jeepers, I didn't see you.

- Well how else would I get down here?

- You could've jumped out the window.

- Oh, stop.

Now you wait there.

I'll be right up.

- Oh, Dennis, don't you touch that chess board.

- Heck no.

I'm just looking.

- Well I've been up half the night

working out an extremely complicated chess move.

Now, what was it you wanted to show me?

- First, I want to ask you if you have any odd jobs to be done.

- Oh, with Mrs. Wilson away, I have any number of them.

- $1.95 cents' worth? - Easily.

But they consist mostly of cooking, sewing,

and washing socks.

- Jeepers, I'm better at doing things like raking leaves.

- Now if you were a tailor, you could really help me out.

I lost the button that goes there

and I can't find where Mrs. Wilson keeps the buttons.

- Why don't you use a safety pin?

- Well I would if I had one.

The trouble is I've looked all over the house

and I can't seem to find where Mrs. Wilson keeps the safety

pins either.

- Here's one, Mr. Wilson.

- Hm?

Oh yes, that looks about the right size.

Well yes, I think that's going to do the job just fine.

There.

That's better.

That's more like it.

Thank you, Dennis.

You were a big help.

- How much worth, Mr. Wilson?

Well, I'd say a dime's worth?

- Gee, thanks, Mr. Wilson.

Now all I need is $1.85.

- You still haven't told me what you want the money for.

- To buy those two swell white mice from Georgie,

including the cage.

- Wh--?

Dennis, you get those rodents out of my house immediately.

- You mean Jennifer and Caesar?

- I mean those mice right there.

Now you take these two-- Dennis, when you came in here,

were the two mice in this cage?

- Sure, Jennifer and Caesar.

Hey, where's Caesar?

- He's loose somewhere in this house.

- Jeepers, it's lucky you don't have any elephants

or they'd be scared.

- Oh, that's an old wive's tale, Dennis.

- I know.

Old wives and elephants are scared of them.

- Will you stop talking and start looking for him?

- Sure.

We have to, or else you owe Georgie a dollar.

- Let's everybody shake their pants legs.

- Oh, Dennis.

You run down to the refrigerator and get some cheese.

- I think I'd rather have a peanut butter sandwich.

- It's not for you.

It's for that blasted mouse.

- I think he'd rather have peanut butter too.

- Dennis, I will give you ten minutes

to find him before I go over and borrow Mrs. Perkins' cat.

- Oh don't do that, Mr. Wilson.

I'll find him.

He's probably in a dark corner, I betcha.

[gasp]

- Dennis, here he is on my chest board.

- Swell.

I'll hold the cage while you put him in.

Don't worry if he runs up your sleeve.

He likes to keep warm that way.

- Here, I'll hold the cage.

You put him back.

- I got him.

- Dennis, look what you've done.

You've ruined my entire strategy for tonight.

- Excuse me, Mr. Wilson.

Caesar was so fast, I couldn't help it.

Now I'm going to have to have that safety pin back

to hold the door shut.

- Oh, well all right then.

Give me back my dime.

- Jeepers, I thought I was kind of renting the pin to you.

- Oh, you can keep the dime.

Just go.

- Mr. Wilson, could you lend me $1.85?

- No, I couldn't.

Now home.

Home.

- Well, bye, Mr. Wilson.

Sorry you lost your buttons.

- Hi, dad.

- Hi, son.

- Boy, am I glad to see you.

- Ah, that's nice to hear.

What've you been doing all day?

- I've been trying to earn some money.

- Any luck?

- I rented a safety pin to Mr. Wilson for a dime

because he had a button missing.

Hey, dad, do you have any buttons missing?

- No, I'm afraid not.

What do you need the money for?

- Remember when I wanted a horse and you said it was too big?

- Yes.

- And then I wanted a pony and you said that was too big.

- Yes.

- And then I traded my bike for a goat,

and you made me take it back because you

said that was too big.

- Well that wasn't the only reason, Dennis.

What's this all about?

- Well I asked myself, what kind of animals

would good ol' dad like to have in the house?

- And what did I say?

- Mice.

- Mice? - Sure.

And Georgie's got two of them in a cage for $2.

So will you give me $1.85?

- I'm sorry, son.

You ought to have that much in your piggy bank.

- Jeepers, dad.

That piggy bank leaks.

- It wouldn't if you didn't shake it.

No, I'm afraid you'll have to save the money yourself.

- Have you been talking to mom?

- No, but I've got to-- we need a sitter for tonight.

Why don't you hire me?

- Because the sitter's for you.

Your mom and I have to go out to the airport

and meet a very important client.

Then we're going out to dinner.

- Mom's in the kitchen.

- OK.

- Dennis eating his dinner?

- Well, he's sitting at the table picking at it with his fork.

What time are we due at the airport?

- 7:30. - 7:30?

I thought you said 8?

- Oh, I just checked with the airport.

The plane's early.

- Oh.

- What time's the sitter coming?

- Not until 7:30.

- Maybe I'd better call her--

[doorbell]

- Oh, I'll get it, honey. - Thank you.

- You stay here and finish dressing.

- All right.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson, you want to wear my safety pin again?

- No, I don't.

I came over to see your father.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

Dennis, have you finished with your dinner?

- Yep.

- Eat it all?

- Heck no, dad.

I'm just finished with it. - See you in a minute.

Get in the kitchen and eat.

- Well, what can I do for you, Mr. Wilson?

- I have a little problem, Mitchell.

- Oh yes, I know.

Dennis has been over bothering you for a job.

- Oh no, no. That's not the problem.

You see, Monsieur Gustav Bouchet,

the international chess champion, and his wife

are in town.

- Oh yes, I read about it in the paper.

- Well, since I'm not unknown in chess circles, he called me.

And I invited them to dinner.

I'd intended taking them to the lobster house.

- Well, it sounds like a wonderful evening.

- Well, unfortunately, they assumed

they were having dinner at my house

and they brought their little boy along.

- What's the matter with that?

Take the little boy along to the lobster house.

- Well, Mitchell, the boy is Dennis' age.

- We took Dennis over to the lobster house once

and-- Oh yes, I see what you mean.

- Exactly.

Well, I persuaded his parents that a baby

sitter is customary in America.

- So you need a babysitter.

Well, we have a--

- Oh, no, no.

I've already arranged for a babysitter.

But I don't have anything in the house

to feed the little fellow.

- Well, your problem is solved. Bring him over here.

We have plenty.

- Well, thank you, Mitchell.

Thank you very much.

- If he's a pretty good kid, why don't you let him stay with me?

- Why, that's a good idea, Dennis.

- Oh, but I have a sitter of my own coming.

- Well, it seems silly for both of us to pay a sitter.

- Well, yes.

I guess one of us wasting his money at that.

- Why don't you cancel yours, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, no.

It's only fair that I pay.

You cancel yours.

- I don't know.

Our sitter, Mrs. Porter, is a very dependable woman.

- Well, so is mine.

And since I'm the one who's asking the favor--

- Well, all right. You have it your way.

You can pay.

- Ah, fine.

I'll run over and get little Michel.

Thank you very much. - Not at all.

- Mr. Wilson? - Hm?

- When you come back from the lobster house,

will you bring me a claw?

- Now what do you want a claw for?

- So I can scare that dumb old Margaret.

- Oh, Mrs. Porter.

This is Henry Mitchell.

Could we cancel out with you tonight, please?

Thank you very much.

We'll make it up to you another time.

Thanks a lot, Mrs. Porter.

Good night.

[speaking french]

- Well, we're all set.

We just drop Michel off next door

at the Mitchell's and be on our way.

- We do not have to wait for the babysitter?

- Oh no.

The Mitchell sitter will be taking care of both the boys

tonight.

Now if you'll excuse me for a moment, I'll cancel mine.

[doorbell]

- Coming.

Coming.

- Oh, Michel, this is Dennis Mitchell.

Mrs. Mitchell, Mr. Mitchell, this is little Michel Bouchet.

- How do you do, Michel?

- [speaking french]

- Boy, you gotta stop talking like that or mom

will wash your mouth out with soap.

- He's speaking French.

- French?

Jeepers, what's that?

- It's a foreign language.

[speaking french]

- Oh well, that's just an expression, Michel.

What does "jeepers" mean?

- Well, it means like, "gee whiz," or "criminy sakes."

- Yes, like "gee whiz" or-- oh, never mind, Michel.

- Michel, I'm sure you're hungry.

If you come into the kitchen, I'll fix you some dinner.

- Thank you, Madam Mitchell.

I do have much hunger.

- Even when I understand you, you talk funny.

- All right, enough, Dennis. Come on, boys.

- Sweetheart, we're running late.

- All right.

- Oh, say, why don't you two go on ahead.

I'll wait for the babysitter to arrive.

- Well, that'd be wonderful, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, it's the least I can do after the way you helped me out

of my spot. - I'll go get Alice's coat.

- You don't even know how to play baseball?

Boy, is there a lot I gotta teach you.

- Here you are, Michel.

- Sweetheart, Mr. Wilson says he'll wait for the sitter.

We can go.

- Oh, thank you, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh.

- Now, Dennis, remember to go to bed

when the sitter tells you to.

In this house, we always obey the sitter.

- Oh yes, Madam Mitchell.

- Good night, Dennis.

Good night, Michel. - Good night.

- Bonsoir. - Good night, Dennis.

- We'll be home early.

- Bye.

- Dennis.

How do you call this dish?

- That's called Chicken a la King.

But you don't have to eat it anymore cuz they're gone.

- But I like it.

- You should've come over earlier.

You could've had mine too.

[doorbell]

- I'll get it.

- Oh no.

You entertain your little guest.

I'll get the door.

And if it's the babysitter, I'll see you later.

- Boy, I got something you'll like swell.

- Oh, [speaking french].

- What?

[speaking french]

- These aren't "lay-ser-ees."

They're mice.

- Oh good, you're here.

You'll find the two little boys out in the kitchen.

Good luck.

[doorbell]

- Hello.

- Hello, is your mother home?

- No.

Isn't that why you're here?

- I'm from the drug store, and since it's on my way home,

I brought her this jar of cold cream she ordered.

Tell her I'll put it on her bill.

- OK.

- How'd you like to be part owner of these mice?

[speaking french]

- Huh?

- Yes.

- Got any money?

- Mais non.

- I was hoping French kids were different.

- When will the babysitter arrives?

- I don't know.

We've been waiting an hour.

I don't think she's gonna come or she

would've been here by now.

- Your father will be angry after having hired her.

- Yeah.

He was going to pay her $0.50 an hour.

Hey.

That means I've been babysitting for you ever since they left.

- You? Babysitting for me?

- Sure.

Somebody's gotta to do it.

And it's my house.

And besides, I need the money.

- [speaking french] Now we can stay up until the parents come

home.

- Oh no, in this house, you go to bed

when the babysitter tells you to.

Hey, that's me.

- But this is ridiculous.

I never go to bed at 8 o'clock.

- In this house you will.

I'm the babysitter and I'm going to do a good job of it.

- But jeepers.

- Now don't talk back.

Now, did you brush your teeth?

- Yes, I brushed them.

- Did you wash behind your ears?

- [speaking french] You made me take a shower.

- All right.

Now say your prayers, and get in bed, and I'll tell you a story.

- [speaking french]

- What was that?

- My prayer.

- Well, to be on the safe side, you better say,

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.

- Oui, I've been learning that one.

Now I lay me down to sleep.

I pray the Lord, my soul to keep.

[speaking french] I have not learned the whole prayer yet.

- I hope God understand that last part.

- Of that I'm sure.

I never knew until last month he understood English.

- All right.

Now get in bed and I'll tell you a story.

- Are you not going to bed too?

- Heck no.

Babysitters can't go to bed.

We have to stay up and eat sandwiches and watch

television.

Now, what story do you want me to tell you about?

- The one about the milk maid.

- Milk maid?

I don't know any story about a milk maid.

- It's the one the governess tells me.

- Jeepers.

Does the governor ever tell it to you?

- No, just the governess.

It goes like this.

- (MANLY VOICE) "Where are you going to, my pretty maid,"

the man asked.

- (WOMANLY VOICE) "I'm going milking," she said.

- (MANLY VOICE) He said, "May I go with you, my pretty maid."

- (WOMANLY VOICE) She answered kindly, "You're welcome, sir."

- (MANLY VOICE) "What is your father, my pretty maid?"

- (WOMANLY VOICE) "My father's a farmer," she said.

- (MANLY VOICE) "Then I can't marry you, my pretty maid."

- (WOMANLY VOICE) "Hmph, nobody asked you, sir," she said.

- You call that a bedtime story?

I'll tell you a bedtime story.

You see, once upon a time, there was

this great big fierce dragon.

And fire came out of his nose.

And he went up to this castle where

there was this beautiful princess.

And he snorted on the door until it burned down.

The princess looked out the window

and saw the terrible dragon and she

screamed, "Sir Lancelot, help me."

Sir Lancelot was out in the forest sharpening his sword

and putting peanut butter on his armor so it wouldn't squeak.

Well, when he heard the princess screaming,

he was about to put on his armor and go rescue her

when the Black Knight came up and caught him in his underwear

and challenged him to a duel.

- Sacrebleu.

- Sir Lancelot put on his helmet and picked up his sword,

and you know what?

The helmet fell off.

- What did he do?

- He just started laughing.

And he grabbed the Black Knight's horse by the tail

and started swinging it over his head.

Isn't that swell?

- Oui.

- Back at the castle, the dragon was going upstairs

to the princess' room.

And she hollered, "If you don't get out of here,

I'll call the fire department."

- Oh, this looks beautiful.

- Thank you.

- Mitchell reservation.

- Oh, merci.

- Oh, excuse me.

Oh.

Alice, Mitchell.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

- Hello, Mr. Wilson.

- What a pleasant surprise.

Oh, I'd like you to meet Madam, Monsieur Bouchet.

Mr. And Mrs. Mitchell.

- How do you do?

- Mr. Wainwright, Mr. Wilson and the Bouchets.

[speaking french]

- Mr. Wainwright.

- How do you do, Mr. Wainwright.

- It is a great pleasure to meet the parents of Dennis.

Will you not join us? - Please.

- Oh, well no, I think that Mitchell and Mr. Wainwright

probably want to sit somewhere and talk business.

- Henry's smart enough not to talk business

with me at dinnertime.

He just stuffs me with lobster and let's

his expense account do the buttering.

- Oh that's right, you are on your expense account

tonight, aren't you?

Why don't we make room for you at our table?

Waiter, would you bring me a couple of chairs, please?

- You have such a nice little boy.

- Oh, merci.

We are very proud of him.

I hope he will be no trouble to your babysitter.

- Oh, he won't be a bit of trouble.

But she isn't our babysitter.

She's Mr. Wilson's.

- Oh.

- Oh no, no, Alice.

I canceled mine.

I left your Mrs. Porter sitting with the children.

- Mr. Wilson, I canceled Mrs. Porter.

Your woman is sitting with them.

- Oh now, Mitchell, stop joking.

I left your Mrs. Porter sitting with the children.

Now please, you'll get everybody upset

just as we're about to enjoy a lovely dinner.

- Excuse me, I'm going to make a call home.

- Did you turn the boys over to Mrs. Porter?

- Well of course I did.

She came to the door.

And I said hello.

And she-- Well, she was a very quiet woman.

She didn't actually--

- Mr. Wilson, you do know our sitter, Mrs. Porter?

- Well of course I know your Mrs. Por-- er,

well, no, not exactly.

- What did she look like?

- Well, she was a slender, dark-haired woman, about 35.

- Mrs. Porter is plump and grey.

- Honey, I just talked to Dennis.

The boys are home alone.

[gasp]

- No one's taking care of Michel?

- Oh, now, now, calm yourself.

Dennis is taking care-- Dennis.

Great Scott.

I hope your house is insured.

- You will excuse us, Mr. Wainwright.

- Of course, I have children of my own.

- You run right along.

Get there as fast as you can.

I'll pay the check and be-- I'll pay the check?

[indians and cowboys shooting]

- Dennis, Dennis.

- Shh.

Please be quiet.

You'll wake Michel.

I just got him down.

- Michel is asleep?

- Sure.

Upstairs in my bed, and in my pajamas,

and with my teddy bear.

- It's the first door on the right upstairs.

- Oh, merci, merci beaucoup.

- Oh, Dennis, you were such a good boy.

- I know it.

- Probably the best babysitter we've ever had.

- Sure.

I started work at 7:00, and now it's 9:00.

At $0.50 an hour, how much do you owe me?

- That comes to exactly $1.

And I'm very happy to pay it, son.

- Gee, thanks, dad.

- Oh, Mitchell, Alice.

Is everything all right? - Yes.

- Everything is just fine, Mr. Wilson.

Michel is upstairs asleep.

And Dennis did a wonderful job of babysitting.

- Dennis? - Sure.

And I didn't break anything either.

Dad paid me $1.

- Well, by golly, I'm going to give you $1 too.

- Wow. - Here, you deserve it.

- Swell.

Now I can buy Georgie's mice.

- You bet you can, son.

- You certainly can, honey.

- And guess what?

I'm going to have 12 of them.

While you were away, they had puppies.

[theme music]