Original subtitles

- Dennis, come take your bath.

The water's ready.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): OK, Mom.

In a minute.

- Not in a minute.

Right now. DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): OK, Mom.

I'm coming.

As long as me and all the kids are here,

we're all gonna take one together and get it over with.

- Oh, no you're not!

[theme music]

- You see anything?

- Just leaves.

- I saw a cigarette package.

- People just don't lose money anymore.

- Know what I'd do if I had some money?

I'd buy one of those little airplanes

that you wind up with a rubber band.

- Me, too.

- I've wanted one for a long time.

- I've wanted one all my life.

- I wish we could find a hundred dollars.

- I wish we could find a million dollars.

- I wish we could find a jillion dollars.

- I wish we could find-- say, how much do

those little airplanes cost?

- Mm, about $1.

- I wish we could each find $1. MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN): Martha!

We're home!

- Hey, Mr. Wilson just took a lady into his house.

- He did?

Why, he didn't even tell me he was expecting someone.

Come on, let's go see who it is.

- Martha!

Helen's here.

- Helen!

Oh, it's been so long.

- My, it's good to see you again, Martha.

- Well, come on in the living room.

- I'll take your bags on upstairs, Sis.

[doorbell ringing]

- Hi, Mr. Wilson!

- Oh, what you want, Dennis?

- I wanna know who that lady is who just came into your house.

- That doesn't concern you.

- Are those her suitcases?

- Never mind, Tommy. - Hi!

- Oh, for Pete's sake.

- Hello.

- Hello, Dennis, Tommy.

Come on in, boys.

- Oh, Martha.

Let's not spoil everything.

- Don't be silly, George.

Boys, I'd like to have you meet Mr. Wilson's sister, Mrs.

Forbes.

- Hi, Mrs. Forbes.

I'm Dennis Mitchell, Mr. Wilson's best friend.

- You are not.

- I'm Tommy Anderson.

- Well, it's nice meeting you both.

- Well, all right, boys.

Now come on, let's run along.

- Say, do you have any children?

- Well, in a way, I used to have 30 of them.

- 30?

- Boy, I sure do wish I could live in your neighborhood.

- What I really meant was I was a schoolteacher.

I taught history.

- All right, boys.

Now, my sister's come a long way to see me, and--

- Did you bring him anything?

- As a matter of fact, I did.

- Oh, Sis.

You shouldn't have.

- Sure, she should.

What did you bring him?

- Well, if you'll get me my little suitcase, I'll show you.

- Me and Tommy will get it for you, Mrs. Forbes.

- Sis, try not to get involved with that Dennis.

He could spoil your entire visit.

- Oh, George, he could not.

Dennis is a sweet little boy.

- In a way, he reminds me of George

when George was that age.

- I deny that.

That kid drives me crazy.

- Here it is, Mrs. Forbes.

- Thank you, boys.

Oh, this is going to be a big surprise for you, George.

- Oh, my own copy of Treasure Island.

- He won it in an elocution contest

when he was a little boy.

- You know, I thought this had been lost long ago.

- I found it in our attic.

- Treasure Island.

- What's Treasure Island?

Why, it's one of the great classics of English literature.

What kind of books do you have, anyway?

- My dad's reading me one called Spotty, the Shetland Pony.

- Oh, Great Scott.

- My dad's reading me one called Day on the Farm

with Betty and Bob.

- How can they read such things to children?

- Why, George.

They're children's books. - Well, I know.

But children should be brought up on the classics.

How can they learn anything from stories about a pony

or a day on the farm?

- I learned where milk comes from.

- Tell him where.

- Boy, would you be surprised.

- Oh, Great Scott. - It comes from--

- I know where it comes from.

- Not bottles.

- I know it.

Oh, he drives me out of my mind.

Now, you listen to this.

And I'll show you what great literature really is.

Now, this is a story all about pirates and buried treasure.

- Buried treasure?

- That's right.

Now.

- Boy, now we need some of that.

- We'll just listen to the story and then go dig it up.

- The treasure isn't around here, boys.

It's on an island.

- OK.

Then we'll listen to how you find one and then go dig it up.

- See what I mean?

You won't find any treasure around here

because there were never any pirates around here.

- Actually, George, there were.

Spanish pirates.

- I never heard that.

- Neither have I.

- Oh, in the 1800s.

There are all sorts of old stories about millions

of dollars in Spanish gold pieces still buried

in this area.

- See, Mr. Wilson?

- Ah, yes.

I see.

- So can we borrow your shovel?

- No, you can't.

Now do you want to hear the story or not?

- Sure we do.

- All right.

Then listen.

- Come on, dear.

I'll help you unpack.

- I take up my pen in the year of grace 1700,

and go back to the time when my father kept the Admiral Benbow

Inn, and the brown old seaman with the sabre-cut

first took up his lodging under our roof.

The old fellow's fury was awful.

He sprang to his feet, drew and opened a sailor's clasp knife,

and balancing it open on the palm of his hand,

threatened to pin the doctor to the wall.

- Hey, Mr. Wilson, you closed the book.

- I know it.

I told you I would if you climbed on me again.

- Now I'm off.

- Too late.

- But we're not through.

- Oh yes, you are.

Besides, my eyes are tired.

- But we don't know if the captain

pinned the doctor to the wall.

- I told you, Dennis.

My eyes are tired.

- You want me to clean your glasses out for you?

- No, I don't.

- Try pinching your nose.

That's what my dad does when his eyes get tired.

- I am not going to read anymore.

- Why don't you go up and take a nap and we'll wait for you.

- No.

- You want us to come back later?

- Oh, Great Scott.

I'm going out to get a drink of water.

- Why don't you try using some [inaudible]

along your forehead.

That's what my grandpa does for his eyes.

- My mom uses ice cubes.

- Look, boys.

Will you just please leave me alone?

- What's the matter, George?

- Huh?

Oh, they're just pestering me.

- He won't finish the story.

- There's this fierce captain and he's just

about to pin the doctor to the wall.

And we don't know if he did, or where the treasure is,

or anything.

- Mm, I see.

Well, I'll tell you what.

If you come back after lunch, oh, about 2 o'clock,

I'll read some more of the story to you.

- Gee, that's swell.

- Boy, thanks, Mrs. Forbes.

- Bye, Mrs. Forbes.

- Bye, boys.

- Bye.

- Ah.

You got rid of them at last.

Good.

Let's go in the living room, Sis, and have a nice talk.

We've got a lot of catching up to do.

- How have you been, George?

- Oh, just fine.

You know, ever since I'm retired I've

taken up all sorts of hobbies.

Then of course, there's my first love.

My garden.

- And it looks just lovely.

- Ah, thank you.

You know, I'm planning on a new zinnia bed out front.

Only trouble is that ground out there is as hard as a rock.

One of these days, I'm gonna dig the whole thing up and replace

it with good loam.

Then you'll see a garden.

- And then the swell doctor said to the dirty old pirate,

You're a scoundrel.

And you gotta stop drinking all that rum.

So the pirate got mad at the swell doctor.

And he took out his knife and said

he was gonna pin the doctor to the wall.

That's when Mr. Wilson stopped.

Did you ever hear anything so exciting in your whole life?

- That's exciting, all right.

- That's a real thriller.

- Sure.

And it made me decide what I'm going to be when I grow up.

- Good.

I always thought it would be nice to have

a doctor in the family.

- I'm not gonna be a doctor.

I'm gonna be a dirty old pirate.

- Martha, that was a wonderful lunch.

And that cake, mm.

- I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

- You sure you don't want help with the dishes?

- No.

You and George just sit and relax.

- Well now.

That's the first time in five years

I've gotten out of wiping the dishes.

[doorbell rings]

- I'll get it.

- Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

It's 2 o'clock.

- We're all ready.

- For what, boys?

- For Mrs. Forbes to read the rest of Treasure Island to us.

- What's this?

- Oh, George.

We've been talking so much I forgot to tell you.

I promised to read to the boys.

- Well, I hadn't expected that.

- Do you mind, George?

- Oh, no, no.

That's all right, Sis.

You just go right ahead and enjoy yourself.

I'll find something else to do.

- I'll tell you what, George.

You can help me with the dishes.

- "They got the money, you say?

Well then, Hawkins, what in fortune were they after?

More money, I suppose?" "No, sir, not money, I think,"

replied I.

"Supposing that I have here in my pocket

some clue to where Flint buried his treasure.

Will that treasure amount to much?"

"Amount, Sir," cried the squire.

"It will amount to this.

If you have the clue you talk about,

I fit out a ship in Bristol Dock and take you

and Hawkins here along.

And I'll have that treasure if I search a year.

Now then, if Jim is agreeable, we'll open the packet."

And he laid it before him on the table.

The bundle was sewn together.

And the doctor had to get out his instrument case

and cut the stitches with his medical scissors.

- Martha, do you realize our living room

is literally crawling with a little boys?

- Oh, George. There are only four of them.

- Well, that's four too many.

All that noise in there.

I can't read or work on my stamp collection.

Or even watch television.

Martha, what happened to all the cookies?

- The boys got hungry.

I'll make you some more, dear.

- Well, there was some in here while I was wiping the dishes.

I know because I saw them.

- It was when you were taking your nap.

- Nap?

Ha!

Who could sleep with four little kids

singing, Yo-ho-ho, wid a bottle o' rum?

- Yo-ho-ho wid a bottle of rum.

- Dennis, come over here.

Let's try it on now and see if it fits.

- With that eye patch on, you look

like a regular Captain Kidd.

- I know it.

- There, how's that?

- Swell.

Except that I can't see anything.

- You're not supposed to do.

- Then how come they wore them?

- Oh, I guess they wore them just to make them look real fierce.

- Hey, do I look fierce?

- You sure do.

- Can I get a parrot?

- I don't think so, son.

- I hope you boys aren't being any bother to Mr. Wilson.

- Heck, no.

We just sit there while Mrs. Forbes reads to us.

I guess Mr. Wilson doesn't like the story anymore,

cause he spends all his time in the kitchen.

- Aw, that's too bad.

- You know what Mr. Wilson does now when he takes a nap?

- What?

- He takes the cookie jar with him.

Yo-ho-ho, wid a bottle of rum.

- "Captain," he said at length, with

that same uncomfortable smile.

"Here's my old shipmate, O'Brien.

Suppose you was to heave him overboard.

I ain't particular as a rule and I

don't take no blame for settling his hash."

- Martha, do you realize that woman

has been reading to those children for three days now?

- George, you're speaking of your sister.

- Yes, I certainly am.

I can't call this house my own anymore.

She's turned it into a kindergarten.

- The reading aloud was your idea.

- Yes, but I knew when to stop.

By golly, I'm going in there and speak to her.

- Slipped off my shoes, ran quietly

along the sparred gallery, mounted the forecastle ladder,

and popped my head out of the fore companion.

- Helen, may I--

- Sh.

- Did you say something, George?

- Well, I started to, yes.

- Want to come over here and sit beside me, Mr. Wilson?

- No, I don't.

- I knew he would not expect to see me there,

yet I took every precaution possible.

And certainly the worst of my suspicions proved too true.

- George Wilson, you're a sly dog.

- What are you muttering about?

- Martha, take a look at this.

- What is it?

- Why, it's a treasure map of our front yard.

It'll not only get the children out of our living room,

but it will get my zinnia bed dug at the same time.

- What are you talking about?

- Well, look.

I've marked an X where I want my zinnia bed.

Now when Dennis finds this map, he'll

be out there digging it for me in two minutes.

- He'll never believe that this is a real treasure map.

- Oh, of course he will.

You heard what Sis said.

There were pirates in this area.

And there could be buried treasure in our front yard.

Don't you worry, he'll believe it, all right.

- But Dad, I just gotta dig in Mr. Wilson's yard.

That's what the map says.

- Dennis, stop arguing.

I've told you before.

This is not a real treasure map.

- But Dad, I--

- Not another word, Dennis.

You know how important Mr. Wilson's yard is to him.

And he'll be furious if you start digging in it.

- I can't understand it, Martha.

He ought to be out there by now.

- I hope he doesn't find that map.

I don't like tricking him.

- Well, of course he found it.

I saw him pick it up off his porch.

I'm going over there and find out what's going on.

- Hi, Mom.

- Hello, dear.

Don't eat anything, it'll spoil your dinner.

- I didn't come out here to eat.

I came out here to show you this swell pirate treasure

map I found.

- Oh, doesn't that sound exciting?

- Sure.

And don't you think I ought to go dig up the treasure?

- Oh, I don't know.

We might miss you if you sail away

to some pirate island someplace.

- Oh, the treasure isn't on an island.

- Where is it?

- Well, it's sorta right here in town.

So don't you think I ought to go dig it up?

- Where is it right here in town?

- Well, it's sorta right here in the neighborhood.

- Let me see that map.

- Jeepers, Mom.

- Why, that's Mr. Wilson's yard.

You know you can't dig up Mr. Wilson's yard.

I wonder who could've drawn such a map.

- Some dirty old pirate, I guess.

It slipped out of his pocket right on our front porch.

- Hello, Alice.

May I come in?

- Oh yes, Mr. Wilson.

Please do.

As a matter of fact, I'm glad you came.

Look what Dennis found on our front porch.

- Some pirate dropped it.

- Well, what do you know?

A treasure map of my front yard.

- Actually, I told him he couldn't dig there.

- Why not?

- Yeah, why not?

- Mr. Wilson, you're always so particular about your garden.

And you keep it so beautiful.

- I'd be delighted to have the boys dig there.

- You would?

- Of course.

Just be sure to dig exactly where the map says.

Ten paces from the big oak tree, coming toward the center wall.

- Ten paces.

- Ten paces, that's right.

- I'm gonna go get the kids.

Bye.

- Mr. Wilson, that was very nice of you.

- Oh, Alice, it was nothing, really.

Actually, I drew that map myself.

See, I want the boys to dig where

I'm planning to put in a new zinnia bed.

- I certainly hope they dig in the right place.

- Oh, they will.

Don't worry.

You see, when I paced off the distance,

I took a very short steps, just as a small boy would.

- There's Mr. Wilson's house.

And that's the oak tree.

Well I'm gonna take 10 paces.

And that dirty old pirate wasn't any little kid, either.

So I'm gonna take real big steps so we'll

be digging in the right place.

One, two--

- George, I think it was wonderful of you

to draw that map for the boys.

- Oh, well, I like to see children have fun.

- Here! Hey.

Look what that dirty old pirate did.

He hid his treasure right under Mr. Wilson's front walk.

- We can't shovel through this.

- Heck no!

We have to use the pick-ax.

- And I don't see anything wrong with it.

It gives the boys a chance to have some fun.

It fills their little hearts with innocent joy.

Fires their imagination.

Great Scott!

Would you look at those kids, they're [inaudible].

- This is sure hard.

- Yeah.

You know what I think we oughta have?

I think we oughta have a sledgehammer.

- Dennis!

What do you think you're doing?

- Digging up the treasure, like you said we could.

- Well, you're digging in the wrong place, certainly.

10 paces brings you right beside the walk.

Right here.

Now, you dig right here or I'll call the whole thing off.

Follow this map.

- I'm home.

Boy, being a pirate is one of the hardest jobs I ever had.

- Find anything?

- Not yet.

But I'm gonna dig some more in the morning.

- Well, don't dig too hard, Dennis.

That map might not be a real pirate map.

- Oh, it's a real map, all right.

Mr. Wilson said so.

- All right, son.

You better run up and clean up for dinner.

- Jeepers. Pirates don't wash their hands.

- Well, they do in this house, young man.

Now run along.

Henry, I have an idea.

I think it's a shame, those boys working so hard

and there's nothing there.

- I don't know what we can do about it.

- Well, I do.

I have an old costume jewelry bracelet

that has some Spanish gold pieces on it.

You know, imitation ones.

- I don't remember that.

- Oh, I haven't worn it for years.

Anyway, we can wait until Dennis goes to sleep tonight, and take

the coins off, and bury them in the hole.

- Yeah.

Boy, are you sure these aren't real, honey?

They fool me.

- No, they're just imitation.

It's amazing what they do with costume jewelry these days.

- That's quite a treasure.

- Ah, the boys will be thrilled.

- Guess I better call the Wilsons and tell them what I'm doing.

They'll think I'm a prowler. - Oh, they're not home.

They took Mr. Wilson's sister to the movies tonight.

- Oh, OK. I'll go bury the treasure.

- OK, mateys.

Start diggin'.

But keep it neat for good ol' Mr. Wilson.

Holy smokes.

- Pirate gold.

- It's pieces of eight.

There's another one.

There's another piece of eight.

- Boy, we're gonna be rich.

- Hm.

That's curious, Martha.

Those boys seem to be finding something out there.

- Oh, wonderful. - What is it?

- I don't know, but I'm going to find out.

Dennis?

What's going on?

- Hey, Mr. Wilson.

We found the pirate treasure.

- It's pieces of eight.

- Well, I don't know what it is they found.

But I'm going out to take a look.

- I got three.

- I got five.

- I got two of 'em.

- Huh?

Let me see those coins, boys.

- Here, Mr. Wilson.

Look.

- Great Scott.

They are real Spanish gold pieces.

- Sure they are, Mr. Wilson.

- Well, I-- Look, boys.

Your good old friend, Mr. Wilson,

is going to do you a great big favor.

- Boy, thanks.

What are you gonna do?

- Well, now, uh-- I know you're tired from all this digging,

so uh-- I'll do it for you.

And, uh-- give you each $1 besides

to buy whatever you want.

Here's one for you, Dennis.

There you are, Tommy.

Here's for you.

You.

- Gee, thanks.

- I'm gonna buy one of

that you wind up with a rubber band.

- Me, too. - Oh, fine.

Only, uh-- understand, now, boys.

Any more coins I find belong to me.

- Jeepers, Mr. Wilson. I hadn't--

- Or, I, uh-- could take back the dollars and you can dig.

- Uh-uh, Mr. Wilson.

You go right ahead.

- Yeah, you dig, Mr. Wilson.

- All right.

- Bye.

- Why, Great Scott.

Here are two more of them.

- Good for you, Mr. Wilson.

- Stand back, boys.

I'm going to use the pick-ax.

- Boy, you sure are strong, Mr. Wilson.

We could hardly lift it.

- You watch this.

Good grief!

- Hey, Mr. Wilson. [inaudible] oil.

- No, no. That's water.

I broke a pipe.

But it doesn't matter.

With the treasure, I can fix a hundred pipes.

- George.

George, what have you done?

- Doesn't matter, Martha.

We're going to be rich!

- Hey, Wilson.

You've broken your water pipe.

- I know, but I'm finding gold.

- George Wilson, are you out of your mind?

- I'll show you who's out of whose mind.

You take a look at those.

Real gold.

- Sure it is.

And I got five of them.

- Mr. Wilson, I've got to talk to you.

But you've gotta come in the house and sit down while I do.

- And give somebody a chance to steal my treasure?

Nonsense.

You go ahead and tell me.

- Mr. Wilson, there is no treasure.

Those coins came off of a costume

jewelry bracelet of Alice's.

I buried them there myself last night.

- What?

Great Scott.

I-- Martha, don't just stand there.

Call the water department!

- What kind of a dirty old pirate would draw a map

when there's no treasure there?

- Oh, don't bother me now, Dennis.

I've gotta do something about that pipe.

[theme music]