All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S01E05.Innocents.in.Space.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

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Original subtitles

[doorbell rings]

- Oh, Dennis.

For Heaven's sake, stop that.

- Hey, Mr. Wilson.

Could I watch you put in your new window?

- What new window?

- The bay window that Mrs. Wilson said you were getting.

[theme music] - Hi, Mom.

Hi, Dad.

- Dennis, how many times have I told you not to slam--

are those the clean overalls I put on you this morning?

- I put them on, Mom.

All you did was hand them to me.

- Never mind that.

How did it get that way?

- On account of Mr. Wilson's got a dirty tree.

- Ask her.

- Oh yeah.

Is it 10 o'clock yet?

- Just about.

- Oh, boy!

- Wait a minute, fellas.

I've got a lot of figuring to do.

- Gee whiz, Dad.

This is the day Captain Blast is gonna land on Mars.

- And the Mars guys got a real mean king

and he's real mean and everything.

- All right.

Keep the sound low.

- Tommy, did you just sit in some mud?

- Yeah, Mrs. Mitchell.

But it's OK.

I just now washed it off with the hose.

- Well, boys and girls.

How do you like that?

The Martians have locked me in my own space ship!

Say, maybe Lieutenant Peep has an idea.

You know, sometimes these little people from Venus

see obvious solutions that we Earth people miss.

Lieutenant Peep, can you think of a way out of our dilemma?

I'm getting his thought waves.

Why, that's a wonderful idea, Lieutenant.

Boys and girls, Lieutenant Peep has a wonderful idea.

And we'll tell you all about it right

after this word from our sponsor.

- I'm sorry, dear.

I'll wait til Captain Blast is finished.

- Oh, that's all right, Martha.

Do you know what that middle aged nincompoop

is telling the poor kids today?

- Well, if he annoys you so, why do you

watch him every Saturday?

- Because he's so scientifically inaccurate.

He fascinates me.

He's got those children believing

that his partner, a monkey, came all the way from Venus.

Ah, he oughta be horse whipped.

I tell you, Martha--

- Now, now, George.

It's only fantasy.

After all, the fairy stories we learned

as children didn't hurt us any.

- Ah, if I could find legal grounds, I'd sue that fat head.

- Oh, George.

- Hm?

- Mr. Sandy Loomis called.

I think he's president of the optical company where

you bought your new telescope.

- President nothing.

He's just an eager beaver clerk.

Oh, what did he have to say?

- He said he's bringing over the new telescope today.

- That's just great.

- I thought you'd be pleased.

Are you through watching your program?

- Forever.

CAPTAIN BLAST (ON TV): And that's

on the corner of First and Maple.

And now, boys and girls, here's Lieutenant Peep's plan.

I'll tell the Martians that I have

a huge private army down on the Earth.

Now of course, the Martians won't believe this.

So we'll have to do something to prove it to them.

And here's where you come in.

- OK!

- What should we do?

- At 7:30 tonight and every night this week,

right after the sun goes down, I want every last cadet

to fire his terrestrial tracer gun up into the air.

- 25, 3, carry the 2--

- Remember, the little hand will be on seven

and the big hand will be on six.

Remember, the little hand on seven and the big hand on six.

- 18, 14, big hand on 6.

CAPTAIN BLAST (ON TV): When

tonight and see all these terrestrial tracer

bullets being shot up into the air,

they'll be frightened by the size of my army.

So don't let me down.

- We won't.

- Boy, that Lieutenant Peep sure is smart.

- Remember, if you're the winner, Lieutenant Peep

and I will come right down to your house.

[noise from tv] Sh.

I think the Martians are coming back.

Now don't forget.

Shoot those guns tonight.

- We won't forget.

- Let me look.

It's my telescope.

- Simply checking the adjustments, Mr. Wilson.

After all, this is a Brenavulson and not a spyglass.

- I know what it is, Mr. Loomis.

I picked it out and paid for it.

If you recall, I traded a smaller telescope

in on this one.

So I'm not entirely new to the field.

- You should see the beautiful penumbra on this sun spot.

- Well, let me see.

- It's hard to believe that a penumbra could

have such majesty.

- Well, let me look!

- Mr. Wilson, you're jiggling the Brenavulson.

- Oh, sorry.

- Wait til tonight.

Wait until tonight when the entire universe is in blossom.

Oh, how I envy you.

You might even be the very first to see our new satellite.

- By golly, I might at that.

Has there been any word?

- Well, Canaveral thinks it's in orbit and-- say,

why don't I come over tonight and I'll--

- Oh, oh, no thanks, Loomis.

I can handle it myself.

Thanks and goodbye.

- I hate to leave her--

- Well, maybe you can come over and visit her someday.

Bye. - Thank you.

- What a beauty.

- Wanna see a couple of real swell balloons, Mr. Wilson?

- Oh, go away, Dennis.

- They give them to you when your mom buys you shoes.

- Well, that's swell.

- What are you looking through that big pipe for?

- I was shooting the sun.

- Gee.

Where do they put the bullets?

- Dennis!

This is a telescope.

It's a very expensive telescope.

It's a delicate instrument, so I don't

want you anywhere near it.

Ever.

- Jeepers, OK.

Hey!

Can you see up to Mars on that telescope, Mr. Wilson?

- Yes.

Goodbye, boys.

- We got a friend that's up there.

- Fine.

I'll give him your regard.

Wait a minute. What friend?

- His name is Captain Blast and [inaudible] Lieutenant Peep.

He's a Venus guy.

Why, he's up there right now!

- Lieutenant Peep is not a Venus guy.

He's just a plain, ordinary, everyday,

run of the mill monkey!

- Oh, you're wrong, Mr. Wilson.

All of the Venus guys look like monkeys.

- Sure they do, Mr. Wilson.

- All right, boys.

You're about to get your first real science lesson.

This is a refracting telescope.

And in it, there's a dark filter so we can look at the sun.

- Gee, can we look?

- No!

Uh, well, all right.

But be careful.

- Don't let go of the balloon, Mr. Wilson, on account of I

don't think Tommy's gonna get any shoes for a long time.

- How can you worry about a stupid balloon

when you're about to look into a real telescope?

- It's real easy.

- All right, now get up there.

That's it.

Put your eye right there.

Oh, wait a minute!

Is your eye clean?

- Sure.

I ran through the sprinklers a little while ago.

Gee.

- Impressive, isn't it?

- Boy, I'll say.

That's the first time I ever saw a round screen.

- Round screen.

All right, that's all, Dennis.

Now, let Tommy have a look.

Here, take this balloon.

Here, take this balloon, too. That's it.

Now put your eye-- that's it.

Well?

You see it?

- Yeah.

How come it isn't doing anything?

- That's the sun, boys.

The real sun.

It gives us life.

It makes the plants grow.

The grass, the flowers.

And not one of its life-giving rays is wasted.

- Then how come it shines on the sidewalk?

- We will now take a look at the moon.

Get down, Tommy.

Oh-- look out, Dennis.

Swing you around here.

I don't know what that Captain Blast has been telling you.

But you will soon see for yourself

that the moon is not made of green cheese.

And that the man in the moon is just

a figment of-- great Caesar's ghost!

Oh.

Dennis, get that silly balloon out of there.

Well?

Do you want to see the moon, or don't you?

- Sure, Mr. Wilson.

- All right.

Here.

- Boy.

- Now, the moon's not so bright in the daytime.

But I'm sure you can see the craters quite clearly.

Life is not possible on the moon because

of a complete lack of atmosphere.

- P-pow, p-pow!

- What are you doing, Dennis?

- I'm shooting the moon guys.

P-pow, p-pow!

- Shooting the moon guys?

- They're real mean, Mr. Wilson.

Oh, go on home, both of you.

- Jeepers, how come?

- Because I think I'm going to be ill.

Go on.

Shooting the moon guys.

- Is it 7:30 yet, Dad?

- Just about.

- Oh, boy!

- Why's 7:30 suddenly so important?

- He's making Mars safe for Captain Blast

by shooting bullets into the air.

- Bullets?

- Ping pong balls, dear.

Special ones that glow in the dark.

- Oh.

- Oh, she'll reach almost as far out into space

as some of the big telescopes, Martha.

Rumor says I might even spot the new satellite.

Wait til you see the moon through this little beauty!

- You look at the moon, dear.

And describe to me.

- P-pow!

- Martha!

I saw it!

- Saw what?

- I saw the missing satellite.

Passing the west to east orbit.

Oh, check those readings.

Yeah.

Mm-hm.

Time, 7:31.

Orbit, west to east.

Oh, call the papers!

- Where are you going, dear?

- To call the papers!

Oh, oh Mitchell!

Mitchell!

- Good morning, Mr. Wilson.

You're up bright and early.

- I've been down to the corner to pick up

a few extra copies of the paper.

Seems there's been a little write up about me.

- Yes, I read it.

It's wonderful.

- All it says is that I happened to sight that missing satellite

on my new telescope last-- Oh, you--you read it.

- At breakfast. Congratulations.

- Oh.

Oh, did you read in the press telegraph or the new?

- The news.

- Oh, the press telegraph handled it much better.

I'll read what it says--

- Uh, Mr. Wilson, could we do that later?

I'm quite late.

- I tell you what.

See, I've got it folded to the right place.

You can read it at stop signals.

- Oh. Thank you.

- Oh, say, Mitchell.

Some of the boys from the press are

coming over tonight on the chance

that I might sight it again.

Now, you're more than welcome to attend.

- Well, I might do that.

What time?

- Right after sunset.

That's the time to spot satellites, you know.

- I'll see you.

- Oh, say.

Are you sure you don't want an extra copy for the boys

at the office?

- Uh, thank you.

We'll share this one.

- All right, Mitchell.

I'll see you tonight.

Bye.

Well, I guess it's about that time.

She's all in position, ready to go.

Shall we see what we shall see, gentlemen?

- Is it 7:30 yet, Mom?

- Yes, dear.

- Hey, where's my gun?

- Right where it belongs.

- No, it isn't.

Look.

Gee whiz, Mom.

Captain Blast is liable to get killed.

- Try looking in the living room.

- Yes.

Those are the same readings.

- Maybe the satellite's on daylight saving time.

- Well, it wasn't this late last night.

Just double check.

- Don't slam-- [door slams]

- I'm afraid we'll have to be going, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, no, please.

Be patient for just a minute.

Sit right down there.

Look through here.

I know it'll come.

- P-pow!

- Wait a minute.

I'm sure I saw something, Fred.

Across from west to east.

A sort of a light.

- I know.

So did I.

- You did?

- I did.

Right over there.

- Pow!

- There it goes again. DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Pow!

Pow!

- Dennis?

- I'm afraid so, Mr. Wilson.

You see, every night at 7:30 he helps Captain Blast out.

- What's this, Mr. Mitchell?

- Well, it seems at this TV fellow, Captain Blast,

is in a little trouble up on Mars.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Pow!

- So all of his fans shoot phosphorescent bullets

into the air to help him out.

- Oh, no.

- Here's your mail, honey.

- Oh, thank you, dear.

Henry, Dennis won!

- Won what?

- The contest!

That Captain Blast is coming over here this afternoon!

Dennis will be so thrilled.

I'll have to go tell him.

- Oh my goodness.

- What's the matter?

- Listen to this.

"Thanks to the scientific investigation

of one George Wilson of this city, the mystery

of the missing satellite is now cleared up.

It emanates every night from a little boy's pop gun."

There's more, but I haven't the heart to read it.

- Let me see.

- People have been laughing at me all day.

I never want to see another heavenly body

as long as I live.

From now on, the sun is nothing but a hot rock.

As far as that miserable moon is concerned--

- He's hysterical.

- I am not hysterical.

I just want to get rid of that blasted telescope.

So take it back to your store.

And sell it for whatever you can get.

- I just can't bring myself to dismantle her.

You take a delicate instrument like this and you

put it in crates, why--

- Just take it back.

If you can't sell it then throw it away.

- Say you'll reconsider, Mr. Wilson.

After all, this is an age of discovery.

- Oh!

- Our satellites have gone beyond the sun.

Soon we'll-- we'll know what's on the other side of the moon.

Why, I even know a man whose received a radio

signal from one of the moons of Saturn.

- Morse Code, no doubt.

- The signal-- Look!

A man from space!

- Really, Loomis.

You'll do anything to sell a telescope, won't you?

- How could I arrange something like this.

Who do we call?

The Coast Guard?

- Oh, we don't call anybody.

The little one's a monkey.

And the big one's Captain Blast.

Captain Blast?

[doorbell rings]

- Gee.

- Dennis Mitchell?

- Gee!

- Lieutenant Peep.

- Gee! Gee!

- George, what are you going to do?

- That Captain Blast is just as middle aged as I am.

I'm going to take him by the throat

and make him admit to Dennis that he's a fraud.

- Please, George.

He's a hero to Dennis and all the children.

You'll break Dennis' heart.

- Maybe.

Dennis may not like it right now.

But when he's 30, he'll thank me.

- Oh, hello, Mr. Wilson.

Come on in.

Dennis won a visit from that TV man Captain Blast.

He's in the living room now telling the children stories.

They're absolutely spellbound.

- That's what I came over for. You see--

- You just go right on in.

You'll find him fascinating.

I'm making some lemonade for later on.

- After the Venus people found out that I meant them no harm,

they invited me to a banquet in one of their tree castles.

- Well, Dennis, is this your grandfather?

- No, sir.

This is Mr. Wilson.

He got his picture in the paper and everything.

- Wonderful!

Come sit down, Mr. Wilson.

Join us.

You know, it isn't often that we get

to visit with a real celebrity like you.

Is it, Lieutenant?

- Then what happened, Captain Blast?

- Well, while I was enjoying the banquet,

my good friend the Professor was exploring

the famous caves of Titan.

- Gee, where's that, Captain Blast?

- Titan is one of the moons of Jupiter.

- Saturn.

Titan is one of the moons of Saturn.

Thank you very much.

Well, these caves had never been explored before.

And the Professor had his hands full, I can tell you that.

Just as he went around a corner, he suddenly

came onto two of the snake people.

- Were they mean?

- Oh my goodness, Dennis.

The snake people are even more terrible

than the man eating butterflies of Mercury.

- Gee.

- Well, fortunately for the Professor, just then

a gust of wind came up and blew his cap right off his head.

- And that isn't easy when you consider

the atmosphere of Titan is mostly

ammonia crystals and methane gas.

- That may be true on the surface of Titan, Mr. Wilson.

But who knows what's down in those caves?

Well.

When the wind blew the hat off the Professor's head,

it frightened the snake people because they

had never seen a hat before.

- What did they think it was, Captain Blast?

An oxygen helmet?

- The Professor feels that too much attention

to this type of detail spoils the fantasy

for the little creatures.

They lose interest at this age.

- May I say that's only the Professor's opinion?

- Did the snake guys come back, Captain Blast?

- Well-- yes, they did.

Only this time, the Professor knew what to expect.

Get back here!

Here, here.

Now you tell Mr. Wilson you're sorry.

- You deliberately sicced that monkey onto me.

- No, no, Mr. Wilson.

I assure you--

- He's not a monkey, Mr. Wilson.

He's a Venus guy.

- Now, you children are going to listen to me for a change.

- Don't you want to listen to Captain Blast, Mr. Wilson?

- Captain Blast here has never--

- He's just back from Mars, Mr. Wilson.

- Why, he's never-- Well, it's just-- Mars is so far away.

You can go to any zoo and see a monkey just like-- just

like that.

- Gee.

Can you, Captain Blast?

- Well, Dennis.

Let's see what Mr. Wilson has to say.

- Is he just an ordinary monkey, Mr. Wilson?

- Well.

I was just-- Now that I take a better look at the Lieutenant

here, I think it's safe to say there isn't another

like him in an zoo I've ever seen.

I'm sorry I made such a fuss just

because a Venus guy jumped on me.

- Heck, that's OK.

He doesn't care.

Huh, Lieutenant Peep?

- Well.

Now that the Professor knew what to expect from the snake

people, he got out his ray gun right away and hid

behind a big rock.

What, Lieutenant?

Oh.

Lieutenant Peep says to tell you thank you.

Very much.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Did the Professor shoot the snake guys?

- Well, no. No he didn't, Dennis.

Because just then, the king of the snake people came in.

And he looks a little bit like a mongoose.

Well, everybody knows how afraid snakes are of mongooses.

So--

- And then, Martha, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

- I know, dear.

- The way Dennis and those other kids looked at him,

I would have been like pulling the rug out

from under Mother Goose.

- It would take a pretty mean man to destroy

a little boy's magic.

- Partly that.

And partly because I remember how

I felt when I found out about the tooth fairy.

- Well, Dennis.

What can we do for you?

- Hello, Mrs. Wilson.

Mr. Wilson forgot his card that Captain Blast left for him.

- Oh?

What card, Dennis?

- This one, Mr. Wilson.

- "This is to certify that George Wilson has been made an admiral

in the space fleet navy.

Signed, Captain Blast.

Countersigned, Lieutenant Peep."

Now, how could he make me an admiral if he's only a captain?

- George.

- Oh, uh.

Well, this is just fine, Dennis.

Thank you very much.

- That's OK.

Uh, Mr. Wilson?

- Yeah?

- If you ever buy a pair of shoes and they give you a balloon

and you don't want it, can I have it?

Mine's busted.

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