Original subtitles

[snoring]

- Dennis, what are you--

- Shh.

I'm scaring Joey.

I told him a lion got loose in our house.

[theme music]

- Faster. Faster.

Hello, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh no, not again.

- He doesn't seem to hear so good today.

- Yeah.

Let's shoot our cap pistols.

[shooting]

- (SHOUTING) Hello, Mr. Wilson.

- I won't answer.

I won't answer.

- Boy, we better go up closer so he can hear us.

- (SHOUTING) Hello, Mr. Wilson.

- Well, there went my ear drum.

What is it, Dennis.

- Me and Stewart came in to help you.

- Yeah.

- Oh, stop shouting.

- Can you hear me all right?

- Yes.

- Would you like some caterpillars for your garden?

- No thank you, Dennis.

I spend a great deal of time getting rid of caterpillars.

- You do?

- You're making a big mistake, Mr. Wilson.

When they get ripe, they turn into butterflies.

- Well, I'll just continue making that same mistake.

Oh, Stewart, here.

- What can we do to help you, Mr. Wilson.

Want us to do some hauling for you?

- I don't need anything haul-- Get--

Get out of the flower bed.

Just help me last 'til tomorrow.

Just 'til tomorrow.

- Why tomorrow?

- What's happening tomorrow, Mr. Wilson?

- Nothing that concerns you.

And for that, I'm eternally grateful.

Oh, there's little Joey down the street.

Why don't you run and play with him?

- OK.

Hey, Joey, wait a minute.

- Well, I can't let you do all the work of preparing the food.

After all, my husband's going on this fishing trip too.

- Oh, that's no bother, Mrs. Wilson

- Well, I'm going to fix some deviled eggs.

That's the least I can do. [phone ring]

- Oh.

Henry loves your deviled eggs.

Excuse me.

Hello? Oh.

No, Henry, your fishing creel hasn't been delivered yet.

- Well, if it doesn't get there by 3 o'clock, call me.

I'll drop by the store and check on it.

Dennis hasn't found out anything about my fishing trip, has he?

- No, he hasn't.

You've been telling Dennis for months

you were going to take him fishing with you.

And now that you and Mr. Wilson are going,

I just don't think it's right for you

to sneak off without Dennis.

- His feelings won't be hurt.

He won't even know about it.

- Now remember your promise-- if Dennis does find out,

you'll have to take him with you.

All right, Henry.

Good bye.

- If I were going fishing, I think

it would be fun to have Dennis come along.

I think our husbands are being mean.

- So do I.

[door slam]

- Hey, mom.

I'm home.

- In here, Dennis.

- Oh, hi, Mrs. Wilson.

Gee, I haven't seen you since this morning.

- He's such a nice boy.

Where are your friends?

- Stewart and Joey are out in the garage parking my wagon.

Do you know what we've been doing?

Chewing tar.

- Dennis.

- We didn't swallow any.

Hey, Mom.

Boy is there news in the neighborhood.

They're putting in a cement sidewalk at the new house.

I can hardly wait till they're through.

Does Dennis have two N's in it?

- But you're not going to write your name on it.

- My initials?

- No.

- OK.

But I'll sure feel left out.

And for the best thing of all, a burglar

broke into the Armstrong's house and stole

Mr. Armstrong's wallet.

- Oh that's terrible.

- Honestly, Alice.

I don't know what's happening to this neighborhood.

That's the second burglary this month.

- Hi.

- Hello, boys.

- Hi, fellas.

Wagon OK?

- Yeah.

- Can we have some cookies?

- You've eaten them all.

- That's OK.

We'll find something else.

- How's little Joey?

Is he talking yet?

- Not much.

- But he's a good thinker, aren't you, Joey?

- What does he think about?

- He won't tell us.

Show her how you can think.

Harder.

- He'll blow a fuse.

- Come on, fellas.

Let's go out in the kitchen.

- Keep out of that bag of marshmallows, Dennis.

I want you to eat something with vitamins in it.

Something that'll make you grow.

- What has vitamins?

- Apples, for one thing.

Oranges, salads, soups, especially soups.

- OK, mom.

I sure wanna grow.

Then I can reach the cookie jar without standing on anything.

Fellas.

Remember what mom said about soup

being good for growing boys?

- My mom says the same thing.

- But you gotta stir, or it'll get lumpy.

- How is it?

- It needs something.

Hand me the salt, Stewart.

- Dennis, what in the world are you doing?

- Oh, hi, mom.

We're mixing something to make boys grow.

- What is it?

- Chocolate soup.

- Look at the mess you've made.

Oh, Dennis.

[doorbell]

- I'll answer it for you.

- I'll get it.

Dennis, don't you touch that door.

- Jeepers, I've never had to stay away from a door, before.

- Mitchell residence?

- Yes.

- Package for you.

- Thank you.

- What's in the package, mom?

- Never mind, it doesn't concern you.

- Can I feel it?

- No, you can't. - Can I just shake it a little?

- No, you can't.

And I don't want to touch it under any circumstances.

- Not even if the house catches on fire

and we want to save the valuables?

What if the dam breaks?

- Dennis, there isn't a dam in 1,000 miles of here.

Now don't you touch that package.

- How about if I'm saving it from burglars?

- Dennis, I don't want to hear another word about it.

- There goes the best mom in the whole world.

Do you know what she's trying to do?

She's trying to surprise me.

Now it's too early for Christmas and too late for my birthday.

I wonder what it is.

- Henry.

You can stop worrying.

Your fishing creel just came.

- Great.

I hope Dennis didn't see it.

- Well, he saw the package but he doesn't know what's in it.

I put it up on the shelf in the hall closet

so he can't reach it.

Henry, how much fried chicken can you and Mr. Wilson eat?

- Dennis Mitchell, I thought I told

you not to touch that package.

- I'm not touching it.

I'm smelling it.

- Are you sure that's all you did?

- Well, I listened to it a little.

- Now you stay out, O-U-T, out of that closet.

- The package is for me, isn't it?

- No it isn't.

Now take these books and put them

right back where you got them.

- OK.

- She's disappeared.

Something funny's going on around here,

and I'm gonna find out what it is.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

Are you all set for tomorrow morning?

- Oh, hi, Henry.

Yeah, I'm raring to go.

I just finished up putting these earthworms in the flower bed.

- Putting them in?

- Yeah, that's right.

The nursery sold them to me to improve the soil.

Some new theory.

It's quite a job.

Oh. I'm kind of tired.

- Well, don't overdo it.

Remember, we've got a lot of rowing to do tomorrow.

- Oh, I'll be ready.

Dennis hasn't found out anything, has he?

- I don't think so.

If he does, Alice says we have to take him with us.

- Dennis is pretty hard to put something over on.

- Well, when a couple of grown up men like you

and me decide to keep him in the dark, it's pretty easy.

- I guess you're right.

Well, he is just a kid.

- Of course, an innocent babe in arms

up against a couple of slickers.

- Two old pros.

- Exactly.

- Hey, you gonna have enough tackle for both of us?

- Oh sure.

But it needs a lot of straightening out.

After Dennis goes to bed tonight,

I'm gonna sneak up in the attic and get it so I can work on it.

- Well, I'll come over and help you.

You know, if we get everything shipshape tonight,

we'll have just that much more time for fishing tomorrow.

Oh, boy, Henry, I can hear them jumping now.

- How come the door to the attic's locked?

- Uh, we have some valuables up there

and we don't want burglars to get them.

Don't stand too close, Dennis.

The grease could splatter.

- Gee, you're sure cooking a lot of chicken.

- Don't worry, it'll be eaten.

- I've never seen you cook that much chicken for just the three

of us.

I guess we're having company for dinner then, huh, mom?

- No, Dennis, we're not having company.

- I guess me and you and dad are going

on a picnic tomorrow then, huh, mom?

- No, Dennis, we're not.

- I guess you're fixing a box up for church then, huh, mom?

- No, Dennis.

- I guess we're gonna give some of it

to orphans then, huh, mom?

- No, no we're not, Dennis.

- I guess you're gonna start selling fried chicken then,

huh, mom? - Of course not.

- I guess you're gonna--

- Dennis, please.

- Hi, honey.

Where's my--

- Hello, dear.

- Ahem, hi, son.

- Hi, dad.

- The item from D-E-T-W-I-L-E-R-S.

I didn't see it in the C-L-O-S-E--

- Later, dear.

Getting hungry, Dennis?

- Well, not especially.

I gotta go do something.

- Where is it?

- It's in the attic.

I didn't let you spell it out for fear

he might know the word.

- Oh, honey, don't be silly.

I don't think he was even paying any attention.

- Hello, operator?

I wanna talk to a store called D-E-T-W-I-L-E-R-S.

Hi, dad.

Reading the newspaper?

- Well, I seem to have stopped for the moment.

What's on your mind?

- Well, you know how you said I could

talk to you if I had a problem.

- Yes?

- Well, something's come up that I don't understand.

- What is it, Dennis?

- Boy, you sure got a lot of hair on your chest, haven't you?

- Dennis, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?

- I wanna know why mom fried all that chicken

and what's in that package.

- Dennis, I've told you I want you to stop prying.

I told you that when you tried to call the store.

[doorbell]

- Oh, jump down, son.

I've got to answer the door.

Well let go, Dennis.

- I can't.

I'm stuck in your buttonhole.

- Oh, Dennis. [doorbell]

- Is somebody going to get that door.

I'll get it, honey.

Come on.

I don't know how you got your finger in here

in the first place.

[doorbell] You take your hand down, I can get it off better.

No, honey, look, you put your hand down.

[knock on door]

- Oh, come on.

- Hello, Mitchell.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

- Oh, hello.

Well, I thought you'd be in bed.

- Hello, Mr. Wilson.

Yes, it is his bedtime.

Come on, Dennis.

- I can't.

I'm plugged into dad's buttonhole.

- That's right.

- For Heaven's sake, Henry.

Well, now here.

It can't be that hard.

- If I pull it.

- Gee, this is sorta like the time we had to call the fire

department to get my head out of that iron railing, isn't it?

- Thank goodness.

OK, honey.

Off to bed.

- OK, dad.

- Dennis, mind your manners.

Mr. Wilson's here.

- Excuse me.

Good night, Mr. Wilson.

- Good night, Dennis.

[clank]

- Excuse me, Mr. Wilson.

- Henry, don't you think it's safe to go

up and get your fishing gear now?

- Well, what time is it?

- Oh, it's--

- I want to buy you a new band.

- Oh no.

That won't be necessary.

It was a catch.

It had to be fixed anyway.

It's 9 o'clock.

- Oh, he ought to be asleep by--

- Shh.

I'll go up and bring it down.

- Oh, maybe there's some stuff I can help you carry down.

- Oh, Mr. Wilson, we have to pass right by Dennis' door,

so you've gotta be very quiet.

By the time Dennis opens his eyes again,

we'll be out on the lake with a couple of bass in our boat.

- Dennis' room.

Be very quiet now.

- Why?

- We don't want to wake up Dennis.

- I'm already awake.

- Dennis.

What are you doing awake?

- I can't get to sleep, dad.

I'm wondering about that package.

What are you and Mr. Wilson doing upstairs?

- Oh, just checking the house.

- Do you think maybe we've got burglars?

- Dennis, go in and go to bed.

- I've been thinking, dad.

If that package isn't for me, is it for mom?

- No, it's not.

Now go to sleep, Dennis.

- I'll try.

I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.

I'll have to try later.

I'll fix the tackle myself.

I know you want to turn in.

- Well, if you don't mind, I think I will.

You know, 5 o'clock comes pretty early.

- What time is it?

- Midnight.

- Oh, Henry, you're not going to try again?

- I am.

- Well, why don't you wait 'til morning.

Then you know he'll be asleep.

- As long as I'm awake, I might as well try.

It'll save us a couple of hours at the lake.

- Are you checking for burglars again, dad?

- Dennis, are you still awake?

- I keep thinking about that package.

I keep thinking, and thinking, and thinking.

Hey, dad, is this what you call worrying?

- No, son.

This is what you call driving your father out of his mind.

- If I could only figure it out.

I keep wondering who it's for and why.

- If I tell you, will you go to sleep?

- Sure, dad.

- Well, it's for me.

I'm going to open it tomorrow.

Now go to bed.

- Really?

Is it for your birthday?

- Yeah, yeah, it's for my birthday.

Now go to bed.

- Gee, I haven't anything for you.

- Well, you can give me the greatest

gift of all-- a night's sleep.

Now go to bed.

- OK, dad.

- But you have to get up in three hours.

- Honey, I can't sleep anyway.

Look, Dennis is getting suspicious seeing me

in the hall.

As long as you're awake, would you

mind going in and checking on him?

- What if he's awake?

- Tell him a story.

Tell him anything but keep him in his room.

- All right.

Anything to get some sleep.

- Move quiet as a ghost.

That kid's got built-in radar.

- It's all right. He's asleep.

- Oh, thank goodness.

Honey, honey, will you help me?

It'll only take a second.

From now on, it's all downhill.

- All right.

- Where's that blasted light switch.

[clanking]

- I hope Dennis didn't hear that.

- I don't think so.

- Burglars.

Mom, dad, we're got burglars.

Holy smoke.

The burglars have stolen mom and dad.

Help, police.

We've got burglars.

Mr. Wilson, Mr. Wilson, we've got burglars.

Help, police.

- Why, Martha.

- Mr. Wilson, Mr. Wilson.

- That was Dennis.

That boy's in trouble.

- Oh.

- Where's my shotgun?

- In the closet, I guess.

- Dennis, I tell you there aren't any burglars in here.

- How do I know they aren't making you say that?

Is mom all right?

- Yes, Dennis, I'm all right and there are no burglars.

- Boy, I'm glad to hear that.

- I was kind of scared.

- Oh, you were very brave, dear.

Wasn't he, Henry?

- Yeah, yes, very brave and very loud.

All right, son, run off to bed.

The excitement's all over.

- OK, dad.

- You don't suppose he noticed this fishing tackle, do you?

- Oh no, I don't think so.

He was much too excited.

[loud door knocking]

- What in the world is that?

[knocking continues]

- Where are the burglars?

Where are the burglars?

- Listen, Mr. Wilson, there are no burglars.

- No burglars? [police sirens]

- Just in Dennis' head.

Oh no.

- I'm so tired, I won't know which end of my fishing rod

to hold.

- I'm going to try to get a couple

more hours sleep after you leave.

- Why don't you go up now, honey?

- Oh, I just have to get your lunch together.

Sandwiches are all made, just wrap the chicken.

Henry, look at this.

- That darn little kid.

He's been up during the night eating chicken.

Ha.

I guess chasing burglars makes a little boy hungry.

[knock on door]

- I'm so blasted mad, I could kick somebody.

Oh, Mr. Wilson, we're terribly sorry about Dennis last night.

- Oh no, I'm talking about my garden.

Some dog's been digging in the bed where I put in the worms.

Oh, it's an awful mess.

- Well, we're just gonna go out and have a good time

today, right?

- Yeah, all right.

- Henry, look at this.

It's from Dennis and it's addressed to you.

- "Dad, happy birthday."

Boy, what spelling.

What did he give me? Worms.

Boy, that wonderful little guy.

He must've seen the fishing tackle.

- But where on earth would he find worms

in the middle of the night?

- Well, what are a few worms more or less.

- Wake up, son.

I've got a surprise for you.

We're going fishing.

- I knew you wouldn't go without me, dad.

[theme music]