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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,545 --> 00:00:02,621 Fifteen years ago in Tromaville, 2 00:00:02,756 --> 00:00:06,706 New Jersey, the Toxic Chemical Capital of the world, 3 00:00:06,843 --> 00:00:11,505 little mop boy, Melvin Fyrd, a 98-pound weakling, 4 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,676 was teased, taunted, and other bad stuff, 5 00:00:14,810 --> 00:00:19,187 until he fell into a barrel of toxic chemical waste 6 00:00:19,314 --> 00:00:24,023 transforming him into a hideously deformed creature 7 00:00:24,152 --> 00:00:27,901 of superhuman size and strength. 8 00:00:28,031 --> 00:00:35,244 Melvin became the Toxic Avenger, the first superhero from New Jersey! 9 00:00:35,372 --> 00:00:39,950 Then two rotten sequels were made, sorry about that. 10 00:00:40,502 --> 00:00:44,037 This is the real sequel. 11 00:01:01,606 --> 00:01:07,063 Good morning to the celebration of the -Take-a-Mexican-to-Lunch-Day. 12 00:01:07,195 --> 00:01:09,982 The cafeteria will be serving tacos. 13 00:01:17,372 --> 00:01:21,868 Okay, kids. Today we're going to celebrate 14 00:01:22,002 --> 00:01:25,371 our special friends below the border. 15 00:01:25,505 --> 00:01:30,844 We are going to celebrate - Take-a-Mexican-to-Lunch. 16 00:01:30,969 --> 00:01:36,509 - Can we say that? - Take a Mexican to Lunch. 17 00:01:36,641 --> 00:01:39,559 Very, very good. 18 00:01:39,686 --> 00:01:44,348 Now that's where the hard working Mexicans take naps during the day. 19 00:01:44,483 --> 00:01:47,934 Just like us? 20 00:01:48,069 --> 00:01:51,652 Just like us. Exactly like us. 21 00:01:52,949 --> 00:01:55,440 Can anyone tell me... 22 00:01:55,535 --> 00:01:56,864 - Tito! - Baby... 23 00:01:56,995 --> 00:01:59,830 What you're doing? 24 00:02:00,624 --> 00:02:05,701 Listen, bitch, just because I'm a tard 25 00:02:05,837 --> 00:02:09,965 doesn't mean that you have to treat me like one. 26 00:02:11,009 --> 00:02:17,890 But because I'm "special", I don't think I'm ever going to get laid, 27 00:02:18,016 --> 00:02:22,808 so why can't I masturbate? 28 00:02:22,938 --> 00:02:24,266 Tito! 29 00:02:24,397 --> 00:02:28,561 Okay, kids. Now do you know what you're eating? 30 00:02:28,693 --> 00:02:31,101 Tacos. 31 00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:36,861 That's right, tacos. Can you say tacos? 32 00:02:36,993 --> 00:02:39,069 Tacos. 33 00:02:55,095 --> 00:02:59,175 All right you fucking retards drop your brain out! 34 00:03:03,603 --> 00:03:05,643 Mammy! 35 00:03:13,488 --> 00:03:15,646 Fuck this man, I'm outta here. 36 00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:29,201 What on earth do you think you're doing, young man? 37 00:03:29,337 --> 00:03:31,911 I'm trying to teach a class here. 38 00:03:32,757 --> 00:03:34,916 What kind of man are you? 39 00:03:35,051 --> 00:03:36,332 This kind. 40 00:03:37,345 --> 00:03:39,504 We interrupt our coverage 41 00:03:39,639 --> 00:03:43,139 of the Smithville home for the elderly massacre to bring you 42 00:03:43,268 --> 00:03:45,510 this very special report. Thank you. 43 00:03:48,690 --> 00:03:53,067 Well, folks. It looks like we've got another school massacre situation. 44 00:03:53,194 --> 00:03:56,279 You take this one. I did the last three. 45 00:03:57,115 --> 00:04:00,449 The terrorist group in question, 46 00:04:01,369 --> 00:04:03,409 the Diaper Mafia, 47 00:04:03,955 --> 00:04:07,407 has taken the Tromaville School for the very special hostage. 48 00:04:08,126 --> 00:04:10,451 We're going to go live now to 49 00:04:10,587 --> 00:04:14,715 the Tromaville School for the Very Special... 50 00:04:15,133 --> 00:04:19,083 where our correspondent Cindy Tata is already questioning 51 00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:21,628 Tromaville police chief Newman about this very subject. 52 00:04:21,765 --> 00:04:25,181 Stick with us after the break where our very own Josh Levinsky 53 00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:27,184 will share some 54 00:04:27,312 --> 00:04:31,144 ...of those mouth-watering recipes for butternut squash. - I like that. 55 00:04:31,274 --> 00:04:32,270 That's good. 56 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,686 Like a living Martha Stewart. But isn't she still alive? 57 00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:37,694 Nigga, please. 58 00:04:37,822 --> 00:04:40,194 Chief Newman, what caused the Diaper Mafia 59 00:04:40,325 --> 00:04:43,575 ...to commit horrible acts of violence? - No comment. 60 00:04:43,703 --> 00:04:46,325 I can't believe this is happening in Tromaville. 61 00:04:46,456 --> 00:04:50,288 You ask me. These Diaper Mafia punks are doing a favour. 62 00:04:50,418 --> 00:04:53,953 What is the use of sending these retards to school in the first place? 63 00:04:58,176 --> 00:05:01,130 All right, Tex, time to kill another one. 64 00:05:01,554 --> 00:05:03,214 Yes, Daddy. 65 00:05:03,348 --> 00:05:05,471 Chief Newman, the Diaper Mafia has said they will execute 66 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,803 a special student every half hour until their demands have been met. 67 00:05:08,937 --> 00:05:12,887 - Really? - Yet it's been at least 35 minutes since... 68 00:05:15,151 --> 00:05:17,060 Never mind. 69 00:05:17,612 --> 00:05:19,320 That's a damn shame it had to happen 70 00:05:19,447 --> 00:05:21,819 on -Take-a-Mexican-to-Lunch and all! 71 00:05:22,951 --> 00:05:25,905 You hear that, pigs, you hear that? 72 00:05:26,037 --> 00:05:28,575 You hear that, hear that, hear that? 73 00:05:29,708 --> 00:05:33,871 A tard dies every five minutes until the Really Real Bikini TV Crew 74 00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:37,207 ...arrives. You got that? - Got that? Got that? 75 00:05:37,340 --> 00:05:42,631 I'm working on it. Please, don't shoot any more of those tards. 76 00:05:42,762 --> 00:05:45,847 I mean those special kids. 77 00:05:46,933 --> 00:05:53,849 Fuck the fucking tards! I'm sick and tired of their drooling and whining! 78 00:05:53,982 --> 00:05:58,691 Now why is it when I shit my pants, it's a fucking social faux pas? 79 00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:01,275 But when a tard shits his pants, 80 00:06:01,406 --> 00:06:04,822 a good-looking nurse wipes his ass for him? 81 00:06:04,951 --> 00:06:06,742 She's got breasts on her ass. 82 00:06:07,162 --> 00:06:09,997 Tex, Tex, Tex, check it out! 83 00:06:10,123 --> 00:06:12,661 Pregger... pi-ata! 84 00:06:18,631 --> 00:06:21,122 Hey, hey, you've got your head up your ass! 85 00:06:21,259 --> 00:06:22,422 Fuck you! 86 00:06:23,511 --> 00:06:29,632 That's what separates us from the pussies like the Trenchcoat Mafia, 87 00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:33,136 the Flat Top Mafia and the No-Pants Mafia. 88 00:06:33,271 --> 00:06:35,513 Didn't you hear what Kazinski said? 89 00:06:39,027 --> 00:06:41,518 Fucking tard! Gun. 90 00:06:42,238 --> 00:06:43,436 Noooo! 91 00:07:01,925 --> 00:07:05,009 Mayor Goldberg, how do you feel about the five very special people 92 00:07:05,136 --> 00:07:10,890 ...who are dead? - Try not to harp about the five that are dead. 93 00:07:11,017 --> 00:07:14,303 Think about the students that are still living, still breathing 94 00:07:14,437 --> 00:07:18,850 and let's pray for an end to all this murder and mayhem and garbage. 95 00:07:18,983 --> 00:07:21,023 Let's pray. 96 00:07:21,152 --> 00:07:22,563 Get off the phone! 97 00:07:22,695 --> 00:07:24,106 Later. 98 00:07:24,239 --> 00:07:27,323 Let's pray, goddammit! You too. 99 00:07:28,326 --> 00:07:31,113 Oh Lord, in your divine wisdom, please find it in your heart 100 00:07:31,246 --> 00:07:35,409 to put an end to this murder and filth and trash and garbage. 101 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,451 And please help us to get re-elected one more time ok? 102 00:07:37,585 --> 00:07:38,961 Thank you very much God and amen. 103 00:07:39,087 --> 00:07:40,711 Amen. 104 00:07:40,839 --> 00:07:42,878 Dye-a-nu. 105 00:07:48,513 --> 00:07:49,888 Thank God you're here. What took you so long? 106 00:07:50,014 --> 00:07:53,181 - I had to change. It takes a while. - Yeah, ok. 107 00:07:53,309 --> 00:07:59,312 Kids, hold on all. I've got the Really Real Bikini TV crew here. 108 00:08:03,111 --> 00:08:06,444 The Diaper Mafia'demands have not yet been issued and yet 109 00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:10,238 speculation has already begun as to the motivation 110 00:08:10,368 --> 00:08:12,989 behind the senseless attack 111 00:08:13,121 --> 00:08:16,572 on the mentally feeble student body. What do you think, Nick? 112 00:08:16,708 --> 00:08:19,662 I'm gonna have to go with heavy metal music on this one, Jason. 113 00:08:19,794 --> 00:08:21,917 Interesting! But what about that 114 00:08:22,046 --> 00:08:28,500 ...best selling video game "Kill All the Retards"? - Could be a factor. 115 00:08:28,636 --> 00:08:32,468 But we cannot forget about the rap music. Very popular with the kids. 116 00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,840 I personally am not a fan of rap music. 117 00:08:34,976 --> 00:08:38,060 I think you could put a c in front of rap and call it you-know-what. 118 00:08:38,187 --> 00:08:41,473 - I don't think you should go that far. - Not a fan. 119 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:44,277 All right, I think you've established that. 120 00:08:44,402 --> 00:08:48,186 You know I think the worst part is that we'll never know. 121 00:08:50,325 --> 00:08:53,029 But that won't stop me from casting my final vote. 122 00:08:53,161 --> 00:08:54,074 Violence in the movies. 123 00:08:54,203 --> 00:08:57,204 - Certainly couldn't be violence in the news. - Oh God no. 124 00:08:57,332 --> 00:09:01,164 I mean we may broadcast death and tragedy and 125 00:09:01,294 --> 00:09:04,164 ...I think you'll back me up on this. - I will back you up. 126 00:09:04,297 --> 00:09:06,669 We would never glorify it. 127 00:09:13,431 --> 00:09:15,720 You like that, don't you retard? 128 00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:23,019 Hello, Tex, Samantha Chambers, Really Real Bikini TV. 129 00:09:23,149 --> 00:09:25,521 This is my morbidly obese sidekick. 130 00:09:26,444 --> 00:09:29,647 I mean, cameraman, Joe. 131 00:09:29,781 --> 00:09:34,110 Well, Samantha, looks like I won't have to frisk you for weapons. 132 00:09:39,415 --> 00:09:43,460 Shut up! Listen, lady, I didn't call you in here to fuck you. 133 00:09:43,586 --> 00:09:45,875 I called you in here because the Really Real Bikini TV show is 134 00:09:46,005 --> 00:09:47,547 the number one show in America. 135 00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,168 Now tell Daddy there to turn on the camera. 136 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:53,388 - I'm gonna show you something. - Okay. 137 00:09:53,388 --> 00:09:55,594 You see this bitch right here? 138 00:09:57,558 --> 00:10:01,639 Wasting perfectly good tax dollars trying to "teach" the un-teachable. 139 00:10:01,771 --> 00:10:06,232 And if there's one thing the Diaper Mafia hates more than RETARDS, 140 00:10:06,359 --> 00:10:08,766 it's genetic traitors. 141 00:10:09,946 --> 00:10:15,901 Now, I'm gonna show you what we do to bitches like that. 142 00:10:56,284 --> 00:10:58,609 Toxie! 143 00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:02,455 Oh, my God! The Toxic Avenger, 144 00:11:02,582 --> 00:11:08,122 Tromaville's favorite hero of superhuman size and strength. 145 00:11:31,444 --> 00:11:37,114 If that's the Toxic Avenger, where's his ward and sidekick Fatass? 146 00:11:37,950 --> 00:11:39,824 It's Lardass, punk! 147 00:11:44,749 --> 00:11:46,409 Let's fight. 148 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,083 On guard! 149 00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:59,508 Toxie's got his head up his ass. 150 00:12:18,282 --> 00:12:20,571 I've got my head up my ass. 151 00:12:27,792 --> 00:12:30,876 Children, duck! Duck! 152 00:12:33,923 --> 00:12:36,248 No, no, no, no! 153 00:12:36,384 --> 00:12:38,127 Toxie! 154 00:13:13,504 --> 00:13:15,544 Noooo! 155 00:13:20,803 --> 00:13:22,879 All the retards, Toxie! 156 00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:28,053 Oh, the humanity! 157 00:13:32,773 --> 00:13:33,936 Go get him, Toxie! 158 00:13:37,737 --> 00:13:39,528 You can't kill me, Toxie. 159 00:13:39,655 --> 00:13:42,360 You see this exploding timing device on my chest? 160 00:13:43,576 --> 00:13:44,774 That bomb over there in the corner? 161 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:49,454 - Kiss your school goodbye. - Oh my God! 162 00:13:49,874 --> 00:13:52,910 Five seconds after my heart stops this school is nothing 163 00:13:53,044 --> 00:13:56,210 but dead tards and charred lard. 164 00:13:56,339 --> 00:14:00,039 That's right! Kazinski said you'd be here. That's right! 165 00:14:00,176 --> 00:14:04,256 Sergeant Theodore Kazinski, Tromaville ATF. 166 00:14:04,388 --> 00:14:06,962 Where do you think I got all these guns in the first place anyway? 167 00:14:07,099 --> 00:14:11,927 He understands this world is full of unthinking cattle that need to be led 168 00:14:12,063 --> 00:14:14,221 into the new millennium with a new order. 169 00:14:14,357 --> 00:14:18,189 And the first step in the process is to eliminate all these retarded 170 00:14:18,319 --> 00:14:21,902 and genetically mutated freaks and shit! 171 00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:26,861 That wasn't a nice thing to say. 172 00:14:26,994 --> 00:14:29,034 Excuse me, Miss Wiener. 173 00:14:29,163 --> 00:14:33,113 - Toxie, you were always my best student. - Thanks! 174 00:14:33,251 --> 00:14:37,331 No, Toxie! Don't let your Tromatons control you! 175 00:14:37,463 --> 00:14:39,420 Tromatons? 176 00:14:58,484 --> 00:15:02,482 Think, Toxie. If his heart stops, the bomb'll go off! 177 00:15:02,613 --> 00:15:04,653 Put it back in! 178 00:15:16,294 --> 00:15:18,370 Ah there you go, good as new. 179 00:15:26,679 --> 00:15:27,461 Oh darn it. 180 00:15:27,596 --> 00:15:29,922 Come on, Toxie. Let's get these kids out of here. 181 00:15:30,057 --> 00:15:31,433 This building's about to explode! 182 00:15:31,559 --> 00:15:36,386 This bomb is now armed. Detonation in T minus 5 seconds. 183 00:15:48,993 --> 00:15:51,069 This would be easier if I had a mop. 184 00:15:51,203 --> 00:15:52,947 T minus 5 seconds. 185 00:15:59,670 --> 00:16:02,457 These drugs are gonna blow my ass off. 186 00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:04,629 Whoa. What the...? 187 00:16:06,177 --> 00:16:08,964 Didn't your special helper tell you that drugs are bad for you? 188 00:16:09,096 --> 00:16:11,468 Fuck off super zero! 189 00:16:11,599 --> 00:16:14,268 I'm just trying to act like all the other cool cats my age. 190 00:16:17,438 --> 00:16:19,727 What's the deal, Tox? 191 00:16:19,857 --> 00:16:23,771 Well the deal is, I just can't standby and watch you kill yourself. 192 00:16:23,903 --> 00:16:28,944 I'm not killing myself, drugs kill my pain. 193 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:31,992 - Being a teenager sucks. - Well. 194 00:16:32,119 --> 00:16:35,322 Being a retarded teenager sucks worse. 195 00:16:35,456 --> 00:16:39,323 - Drugs make it suck less. - You're pretty articulate 196 00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:43,540 ...for a draggie special student. - What's articulatit? 197 00:16:48,761 --> 00:16:49,507 Come on! 198 00:16:49,637 --> 00:16:52,306 T minus 4 seconds. 199 00:16:55,559 --> 00:16:58,133 Toxie, bear up! 200 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:14,357 No, Toxie! Church and state must remain separated! 201 00:17:21,752 --> 00:17:26,081 Holy cow! Lardass, I have to go impregnate my wife. It's time. 202 00:17:26,215 --> 00:17:30,924 Action sausage nunchuks. Deli stile! 203 00:17:34,390 --> 00:17:36,429 T minus 3 seconds. 204 00:17:45,943 --> 00:17:49,193 Toxie, hurry! Do you feel what time it is? 205 00:18:16,682 --> 00:18:21,225 Oh Toxie, in my blind eyes 206 00:18:21,353 --> 00:18:26,893 you are the most beautiful man in the world. 207 00:18:30,821 --> 00:18:31,817 3 seconds. 208 00:18:39,830 --> 00:18:42,368 I can't believe, it's not butter! 209 00:18:44,793 --> 00:18:48,625 You know. I have a good feeling about the sex we had just now. 210 00:18:48,756 --> 00:18:51,922 I really think you got pregnant. Oh! What time is it? 211 00:18:53,385 --> 00:18:56,589 Melvin, what's gotten into you? 212 00:18:56,722 --> 00:19:01,717 I know, you're really excited about the results of the pregnancy test, 213 00:19:01,852 --> 00:19:03,560 aren't you? 214 00:19:03,687 --> 00:19:06,357 Yeah. That's it, Sarah. 215 00:19:06,482 --> 00:19:11,227 No. I gotta get back to the school, the special kids are in trouble. 216 00:19:11,362 --> 00:19:15,739 What am I to you anymore Melvin? I feel like a giant ovary 217 00:19:15,866 --> 00:19:19,069 with a hundred and ten pounds of flesh attached. 218 00:19:19,203 --> 00:19:21,741 - God! - Sarah, what are you saying? 219 00:19:21,872 --> 00:19:24,079 That's not what it is at all. I love you. 220 00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:25,785 Well I just can't seem to understand 221 00:19:25,918 --> 00:19:30,995 why Lardass can't do some of the crime fighting by himself sometime. 222 00:19:31,131 --> 00:19:34,963 I know, Lardass is all grown up now, but when I made him my ward 223 00:19:35,094 --> 00:19:37,881 all those years ago, I promised him we'd be partners. 224 00:19:38,013 --> 00:19:42,924 I know he's a big boy now, a really, really big boy now, 225 00:19:43,060 --> 00:19:46,761 but he's just not ready to defend Tromaville on his own. 226 00:19:46,897 --> 00:19:50,231 You go to your Lardass! 227 00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:53,313 Maybe he'll have your baby for ya. 228 00:19:53,445 --> 00:19:56,779 - I love you, Sarah! - Yeah! 229 00:19:59,994 --> 00:20:02,033 Toxie's here! 230 00:20:08,544 --> 00:20:09,955 Sgt. Kabukiman, N.Y.P.D. 231 00:20:10,087 --> 00:20:12,127 Why aren't you in there helping the Toxic Avenger? 232 00:20:12,256 --> 00:20:15,459 I'm a New York City police officer. This is not my jurisdiction. 233 00:20:15,593 --> 00:20:18,677 Besides Toxie suggested I stay out here and stake out the area 234 00:20:18,804 --> 00:20:21,888 because I can guard everyone out here with my amazing oriental super powers 235 00:20:22,016 --> 00:20:25,848 So everyone should be safe outside with me here behind this fence. 236 00:20:25,978 --> 00:20:28,730 I think you should actually come in here. 237 00:20:33,694 --> 00:20:36,564 T minus 2 seconds. 238 00:20:37,656 --> 00:20:42,069 Toxie, Toxie! The bomb is about to go off! 239 00:20:42,828 --> 00:20:44,904 T minus 1 second. 240 00:20:45,039 --> 00:20:49,083 Thank heavens for my peanut butter. 241 00:20:49,209 --> 00:20:50,787 Come on, kids. Let's go. We have no time to waste! 242 00:20:50,919 --> 00:20:53,589 We've got to evacuate the building. 243 00:20:53,714 --> 00:20:55,753 You're dead? 244 00:20:58,218 --> 00:21:00,591 Come on! You're dead. 245 00:21:00,721 --> 00:21:04,054 - Let's get out of here! - T minus 0 seconds. 246 00:21:04,183 --> 00:21:08,761 The bomb will now blow up. Thank you for shopping at Kmart. 247 00:21:08,896 --> 00:21:11,221 Lardass, what are you doing? We've got to get out of here! 248 00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:13,230 No, Melvin, there's no time! 249 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:17,107 There are too many people in the building, we'll never get them out. 250 00:21:18,072 --> 00:21:20,230 Lardass, no! Don't eat the bomb. 251 00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,275 Lardass, no! 252 00:21:22,409 --> 00:21:24,983 Even your superhuman stomach can't contain it! 253 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:26,116 Noooo! 254 00:22:08,163 --> 00:22:11,532 What have I done? 255 00:22:12,584 --> 00:22:14,957 It's ok, Toxie, sweetie loves you. 256 00:22:15,504 --> 00:22:20,380 Speak for yourself, bitch. Fuck this place! 257 00:22:20,509 --> 00:22:22,667 Get outta my way, pussies. 258 00:22:22,803 --> 00:22:24,961 Lardass! 259 00:22:25,097 --> 00:22:27,552 My friend. 260 00:22:35,149 --> 00:22:37,640 Alright, men. Ready? 261 00:22:37,776 --> 00:22:39,816 Aim! 262 00:22:41,155 --> 00:22:43,527 Make guns go bang. 263 00:22:53,751 --> 00:22:57,416 Alright, move after him and use extreme caution. 264 00:22:57,546 --> 00:23:00,749 That lumpy headed bastard is dangerous. 265 00:23:08,390 --> 00:23:10,430 Get in the car! 266 00:23:16,690 --> 00:23:19,857 - I suppose I owe you a thanks. - Don't mention it, boss. 267 00:23:19,985 --> 00:23:26,023 I'm just glad I decided to stick around. 268 00:23:26,158 --> 00:23:30,108 - You just can't trust school kids these days. - Crack deal? 269 00:23:30,245 --> 00:23:35,785 - Sgt Kabukiman NYPD, what are you talking about? - Sgt? NYPD? What? 270 00:23:35,918 --> 00:23:37,875 What's wrong with you, Noxie? 271 00:23:38,003 --> 00:23:41,087 Are you selling the crack or are you smoking it? 272 00:23:44,593 --> 00:23:47,962 - Shit! Hang on, Noxie! - Noxie? 273 00:23:52,893 --> 00:23:54,684 Did you see that? That was a stop sign! 274 00:23:59,817 --> 00:24:00,812 Look out! 275 00:24:05,113 --> 00:24:08,779 What are you doing? Those are police! 276 00:24:08,909 --> 00:24:10,617 What's wrong with you, Noxie? 277 00:24:10,744 --> 00:24:14,409 - You'd think you've never been chased by the cops before. - I haven't. 278 00:24:15,499 --> 00:24:17,123 Oh my God! 279 00:25:00,544 --> 00:25:03,664 Everybody back, everybody back. Just relax, stay calm. 280 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,295 Toxie, you alright? 281 00:25:08,135 --> 00:25:10,590 What happened in there? 282 00:25:10,721 --> 00:25:14,968 Hey medics, get over here, get Toxie over the emergency ward. 283 00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:17,140 You alright? 284 00:25:18,228 --> 00:25:20,268 Come here! 285 00:25:38,624 --> 00:25:40,533 Stay back, everybody! 286 00:25:43,128 --> 00:25:45,085 He's armed. 287 00:25:47,507 --> 00:25:49,630 What the hell did you do to the chief? 288 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,048 Wow! Go, Toxie! 289 00:25:53,305 --> 00:25:54,847 Toxie, what could've prompted this vicious attack 290 00:25:54,973 --> 00:25:56,633 on the citizens of Tromaville? 291 00:25:56,767 --> 00:25:59,174 No fucking comment. 292 00:26:02,898 --> 00:26:05,899 Here, how about some hand me downs? 293 00:26:06,026 --> 00:26:07,224 Yes! 294 00:26:09,237 --> 00:26:11,728 Any final statement? 295 00:26:11,865 --> 00:26:14,107 Shut your fucking cake hole! 296 00:26:25,963 --> 00:26:28,750 - This doesn't look good. - No. It doesn't fucking look good. 297 00:26:35,889 --> 00:26:38,178 - We should do something. - Do something like what? 298 00:26:38,308 --> 00:26:40,633 Did you see what he just did to the fuckinchief? 299 00:26:48,860 --> 00:26:52,561 - Fuck that, I'm leaving. Are you comin'? - Yeah, ok. 300 00:26:55,867 --> 00:26:59,117 Faggot #1 meet faggot #2. 301 00:26:59,663 --> 00:27:00,576 Bingo! 302 00:27:04,751 --> 00:27:07,752 Say it ain't so, Toxie, say it ain't so. 303 00:27:07,879 --> 00:27:11,083 It is so. Hold this fat ass. 304 00:27:11,216 --> 00:27:13,125 Oopsie daisy! 305 00:27:21,518 --> 00:27:25,468 Coming up at 11:00. Toxie kills virtually everyone in Tromaville. 306 00:27:25,605 --> 00:27:29,899 And our very own Josh Levinsky gets jiggy with it. 307 00:28:13,487 --> 00:28:16,820 Hang on, Noxie. I can't pass this up. 308 00:28:20,077 --> 00:28:22,947 Kabukiman! That was an illegal U turn! 309 00:28:34,216 --> 00:28:36,042 Old Lady dead ahead! 310 00:29:14,714 --> 00:29:17,550 This is an American made car. Every time they flip 25 feet in the air 311 00:29:17,676 --> 00:29:20,463 and crash down, they blow up! Let's get out of here. 312 00:29:32,774 --> 00:29:35,858 - God damn! - Oh, Toxie! 313 00:29:35,986 --> 00:29:40,030 - The children picked these for you. - Go fuck yourself! 314 00:29:40,157 --> 00:29:41,152 Toxie! 315 00:29:42,492 --> 00:29:44,900 What the hell is going on here? 316 00:29:45,036 --> 00:29:49,912 What is going on indeed. The events which you are witnessing 317 00:29:50,041 --> 00:29:55,249 have proven my theories regarding the truly fragile nature 318 00:29:55,380 --> 00:29:59,757 of the space-time continuum. Nurse. 319 00:30:03,138 --> 00:30:04,513 Blackboard! 320 00:30:07,559 --> 00:30:08,555 Perfect. 321 00:30:15,025 --> 00:30:17,942 As you can plainly see, for every dimension 322 00:30:18,069 --> 00:30:22,530 there exists a diametric opposite of that dimension. 323 00:30:22,657 --> 00:30:28,281 When two explosions of equal mass occurred simultaneously, the barrier 324 00:30:28,413 --> 00:30:32,625 between Tromaville and its dimensional doppleganger, 325 00:30:32,751 --> 00:30:36,167 Amortville, was weakened for a moment. 326 00:30:36,296 --> 00:30:39,665 This breach caused the Toxic Avenger 327 00:30:39,799 --> 00:30:42,884 and his evil opposite the Noxious Offender 328 00:30:43,011 --> 00:30:45,965 to enter each other's reality. 329 00:30:46,097 --> 00:30:52,301 That's pretty good for a shriveled up cripple who can't get it up. 330 00:30:52,437 --> 00:30:58,107 That is it, hell-bitch. I don't need to take this shit from you. 331 00:30:58,235 --> 00:31:02,564 My erectile dysfunction has been resolved. See. 332 00:31:02,697 --> 00:31:06,149 Thanks to the modern miracle of penile implant 333 00:31:06,284 --> 00:31:09,949 it merely takes a few squeezes of my scrotal bump 334 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:15,501 to bring my once flaccid member to a permanent state of tumescence. 335 00:31:15,627 --> 00:31:19,874 Now get over here and I'll show you, shriveled... 336 00:31:22,717 --> 00:31:24,544 Excuse me. 337 00:31:30,642 --> 00:31:37,143 I die, but my insane theories live on. 338 00:31:47,284 --> 00:31:49,323 Noxie! Where ya been? 339 00:31:49,452 --> 00:31:51,908 Noxie, want some of this? 340 00:31:52,747 --> 00:31:54,206 No, thank you. 341 00:31:55,166 --> 00:31:57,289 Thanks for the offer but no. 342 00:32:32,996 --> 00:32:36,531 - Jesus loves you, Toxie. - Fuck you! 343 00:32:41,796 --> 00:32:46,957 What is this evil, evil place? 344 00:32:48,845 --> 00:32:50,672 Toxie! 345 00:32:50,805 --> 00:32:54,091 Nice work at the school, my friend. 346 00:32:54,225 --> 00:32:56,633 You need a ride some place? 347 00:32:59,481 --> 00:33:03,146 Grandma, grandma, grandma, grandma. 348 00:33:04,944 --> 00:33:10,650 How am I supposed to smoke this crack without a fucking pipe? 349 00:33:10,784 --> 00:33:17,036 - Fuck off, Spazmo, that's the deal. - The deal was the three of you, guys 350 00:33:17,165 --> 00:33:20,119 for a rock and a stem. 351 00:33:20,251 --> 00:33:24,201 You got your crack, right? Now, go smoke your shit and get out of here. 352 00:33:24,339 --> 00:33:26,581 We'll try not to fuck her up too bad for you, okay? 353 00:33:26,716 --> 00:33:30,334 But but that wasn't the deal. 354 00:33:30,470 --> 00:33:34,550 That's it. Now I'm going to have to freak you. 355 00:33:37,394 --> 00:33:39,351 Stop that right now! 356 00:33:40,188 --> 00:33:42,181 Hey, hey Noxie. What's going on, man? 357 00:33:42,315 --> 00:33:44,391 You wanna help us beat up the retarded guy? 358 00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:47,779 Or you, hey you wanna help us rape her? 359 00:33:48,696 --> 00:33:49,692 Yeah, yeah. 360 00:33:50,740 --> 00:33:54,192 Didn't you learn your lesson last time I disemboweled you, 361 00:33:54,327 --> 00:33:56,948 shoved your head up your ass, and killed you with your own diaper? 362 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,286 - What? - What? - Huh? 363 00:33:59,416 --> 00:34:00,826 Guess not. 364 00:34:45,753 --> 00:34:46,998 Sweetie, are you okay? 365 00:34:47,130 --> 00:34:50,250 The bad boys were tryin' to touch me. Bad boys, bad boys. 366 00:34:50,383 --> 00:34:54,962 They're gone now, everything is okay. Keep calm you sweetie and honey. 367 00:34:55,805 --> 00:34:57,086 What's your name little girl? 368 00:34:57,223 --> 00:34:58,254 Sweetie Honey. 369 00:34:59,142 --> 00:35:03,685 Oh, okay. Do you know where you live? We gotta get you home. 370 00:35:03,813 --> 00:35:09,567 I tried but my home was gone. 1122 Maplegrove Rd. Tromaville New Jersey. 371 00:35:09,694 --> 00:35:12,232 Just like Grandma said, and it was gone. 372 00:35:13,823 --> 00:35:16,860 And you? What the heck were you doing? 373 00:35:16,993 --> 00:35:20,492 Looking for a crack pipe. What did it look like I was doing? 374 00:35:20,622 --> 00:35:23,991 It looked like you were selling Sweetie Honey for drugs! 375 00:35:24,125 --> 00:35:27,209 And it looks like I saved you from a severe beating. 376 00:35:27,337 --> 00:35:29,210 What are you doing here, and where is your home? 377 00:35:29,339 --> 00:35:34,380 Man, I don't have a home. I am a loner. 378 00:35:35,094 --> 00:35:38,012 And Sweetie's house is gone, just like she said. 379 00:35:38,139 --> 00:35:41,223 That's ridiculous. Come on, Sweetie Honey. 380 00:35:46,564 --> 00:35:49,435 See kids, here's the dump, right where I said it would be. 381 00:35:49,567 --> 00:35:51,643 Now we'll go in my shack and call your parents. 382 00:35:51,778 --> 00:35:55,396 Parents? No parents, Mom and Dad died and then Autie Em took me in, 383 00:35:55,532 --> 00:35:59,446 but Auntie Em hit me too much so then nice lady took me to Grandma. 384 00:35:59,577 --> 00:36:03,907 Okay, we'll call whoever, and Sarah will make you some lunch, and... 385 00:36:07,418 --> 00:36:10,455 Where's my shack? It was right here. 386 00:36:10,588 --> 00:36:12,213 See? I told you. 387 00:36:14,008 --> 00:36:16,546 I don't think we're in Tromaville anymore, Toto. 388 00:36:16,678 --> 00:36:19,714 Tito, my name is Tito. 389 00:36:19,847 --> 00:36:20,677 Whatever. 390 00:36:20,890 --> 00:36:24,093 What are you going to do now, Mr. Kingshit? 391 00:36:25,770 --> 00:36:27,846 I don't know. I really don't know. 392 00:36:27,981 --> 00:36:30,057 I'm hungry. You said that I was going to have lunch. 393 00:36:30,191 --> 00:36:31,983 I'm really really hungry. 394 00:36:32,110 --> 00:36:33,734 You want lunch too? 395 00:36:33,861 --> 00:36:38,108 No, see I am a junkie, so I don't have to eat. But boy am I thirsty. 396 00:36:38,241 --> 00:36:39,818 Do you have any whiskey or any booze? 397 00:36:39,951 --> 00:36:42,276 Here you go kids, something to eat and drink. 398 00:36:47,625 --> 00:36:52,003 Eww, gross. This whiskey tastes like pregnant lady's piss. 399 00:36:52,130 --> 00:36:53,410 What kind of sandwich is this? 400 00:36:56,718 --> 00:36:59,256 Congratulations Sorry you're pregnant. 401 00:36:59,387 --> 00:37:00,667 You know, I don't know why 402 00:37:00,805 --> 00:37:03,213 on the commercials, they say these pregnancy tests are hard to read, 403 00:37:03,349 --> 00:37:06,184 this seems pretty clear to me. Oh my gosh! 404 00:37:07,061 --> 00:37:09,433 We did it! I'm gonna be a daddy. 405 00:37:09,564 --> 00:37:11,391 - A daddy? - Yeah, I made a baby. 406 00:37:11,524 --> 00:37:13,730 Baby? I love babies. 407 00:37:13,860 --> 00:37:15,852 Yes! Yes! 408 00:37:16,696 --> 00:37:18,190 Wait a second, wait a second. 409 00:37:18,323 --> 00:37:20,199 I gotta find Sarah. 410 00:37:20,199 --> 00:37:23,983 I gotta find out how to get home. I gotta do something. 411 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,907 You gotta get me lunch. 412 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:30,290 Okay. I'm gonna figure out how to get us home, . 413 00:37:30,418 --> 00:37:32,991 - I'm gonna get you some lunch and... - Lunch. 414 00:37:33,129 --> 00:37:34,789 - And you two stay here. - Stay here? 415 00:37:34,922 --> 00:37:37,045 - Stay here. - Here? 416 00:37:37,175 --> 00:37:38,206 Yeah, it's a lot safer here. 417 00:37:38,343 --> 00:37:40,715 It's dangerous and unpredictable out there. 418 00:37:40,845 --> 00:37:45,092 So just stay here and I'll be back for you just as soon as I can. Bye. 419 00:37:45,224 --> 00:37:48,593 Stay here, stay here, stay here. 420 00:37:49,812 --> 00:37:54,190 Who does the Toxic Avenger think he is? My parents? 421 00:37:54,317 --> 00:37:56,808 Fuck this place man, I'm out of here. 422 00:37:56,944 --> 00:37:59,815 No! Tito, you can't go. Toxie said to stay here. He's over there, 423 00:37:59,947 --> 00:38:02,438 and you're over there and we have to stay here, Tito, no, 424 00:38:02,575 --> 00:38:04,698 'cause I don't want to be alone. 'Cause Toxie's goir over there, 425 00:38:04,827 --> 00:38:06,487 and you're goin' over there and I have to stay here 426 00:38:06,621 --> 00:38:07,783 and Mommy and Daddy ran away, 427 00:38:07,914 --> 00:38:10,784 and Auntie Em was really mean, and Uncle Bobby was really mean 428 00:38:10,917 --> 00:38:15,045 and I don't want to be alone! Tito, I don't want to be alone! 429 00:38:15,546 --> 00:38:18,216 Tito, come back! Come back! 430 00:38:26,808 --> 00:38:28,302 Okay. 431 00:38:30,269 --> 00:38:34,848 Okay. You are giving me a stomachache in my brain. 432 00:38:36,401 --> 00:38:39,604 If you don't want to be a lonesome you have to come with me 433 00:38:39,737 --> 00:38:42,608 but I am in charge, I make choices out here. 434 00:38:42,740 --> 00:38:44,199 Okay. 435 00:38:44,325 --> 00:38:47,243 Let's go. I am in charge. 436 00:38:48,329 --> 00:38:52,991 Thanks, Tito. Will you hold my hand? 437 00:38:54,127 --> 00:38:56,166 That's okay. Please hold my hand. 438 00:38:58,214 --> 00:39:00,041 You know, Toxie 439 00:39:00,174 --> 00:39:03,674 I used to think that you were one of those namby pamby 440 00:39:03,803 --> 00:39:08,264 pussy-footin' mother fuckers. You know one of those bleeding heart 441 00:39:08,391 --> 00:39:11,143 heroes that's always makin' my job difficult. 442 00:39:11,269 --> 00:39:14,353 But you're actually a bad guy. You're all right. 443 00:39:15,148 --> 00:39:16,310 Thanks. 444 00:39:18,693 --> 00:39:22,276 You better split, Toxie. This press conference is about you. 445 00:39:22,405 --> 00:39:24,148 I'll hang around and see what the deal is, 446 00:39:24,282 --> 00:39:26,773 then we'll meet at your house later. Go on. 447 00:39:27,452 --> 00:39:29,278 - My place? - Go go go. 448 00:39:29,412 --> 00:39:31,701 Oh, lick my balls. Mother fucker. 449 00:39:31,831 --> 00:39:35,081 Jesus Fucking H. Christ. Fuck. 450 00:39:35,251 --> 00:39:38,003 - I never trusted Toxie! - Yeah! 451 00:39:38,087 --> 00:39:40,958 - I knew he was bad from day one! - Yeah! 452 00:39:41,090 --> 00:39:46,297 That's my husband you're talking about. He loves you people! 453 00:39:46,429 --> 00:39:51,554 Bullshit! We all loved Chief Newman. Face it! Toxie's gone mad! 454 00:39:51,684 --> 00:39:52,847 Yeah! 455 00:39:53,644 --> 00:39:55,304 Wait! Wait everybody! 456 00:39:55,438 --> 00:39:59,518 Toxie saved me and my unborn child from the bomb. 457 00:39:59,650 --> 00:40:01,643 Toxie's a hero! 458 00:40:01,778 --> 00:40:04,778 Heroes don't double amputate police chiefs 459 00:40:04,906 --> 00:40:08,690 and hurl twelve-year-old children into brick walls! 460 00:40:11,329 --> 00:40:16,370 Please, please. Quiet down, folks. Let's get down to the Lord's work. 461 00:40:17,043 --> 00:40:20,957 We all saw the Toxic Avenger kill, not only our beloved police chief, 462 00:40:21,088 --> 00:40:23,544 but innocent bystanders as well. 463 00:40:23,674 --> 00:40:26,878 So, we've got to bring him in. For questioning! 464 00:40:27,386 --> 00:40:30,304 Not shot by some vigilante citizens' group. 465 00:40:34,227 --> 00:40:35,970 Fear not citizens! 466 00:40:36,103 --> 00:40:39,472 I have assembled the only team capable of bringing him in. 467 00:40:40,274 --> 00:40:44,568 Super Heroes, united one and all, to protect Tromaville. 468 00:40:44,695 --> 00:40:47,400 And I thank God for it. 469 00:40:48,157 --> 00:40:49,782 Now to introduce them 470 00:40:49,909 --> 00:40:55,781 first, please put your hands together and give the clap to the Vibrator. 471 00:41:05,675 --> 00:41:09,209 Our next superhuman hero protects creatures of the ocean. 472 00:41:09,345 --> 00:41:13,010 Please give a warm Tromaville welcome to Dolphin Man! 473 00:41:24,735 --> 00:41:27,772 Unfortunately there's not much water here 474 00:41:27,905 --> 00:41:29,649 so Dolphin Man is pretty useless. 475 00:41:29,782 --> 00:41:33,910 But we have somebody stronger, more powerful, much better looking. 476 00:41:34,036 --> 00:41:37,785 Who are they going to bring out next? A cow that walks upright? 477 00:41:37,915 --> 00:41:40,453 Please, welcome Mad Cowboy! 478 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:47,251 Jesus Christ! 479 00:41:47,383 --> 00:41:50,301 Now, when rock super star Mastur G 480 00:41:50,428 --> 00:41:53,001 and mild mannered sex offender John Bator 481 00:41:53,139 --> 00:41:55,262 went into the same faulty elevator 482 00:41:55,391 --> 00:41:58,226 little did they realize they would emerge as one man 483 00:41:58,352 --> 00:42:00,060 a man that could fight crime with 484 00:42:00,187 --> 00:42:03,224 sheer repulsion and bad rhyming. 485 00:42:03,357 --> 00:42:07,687 Please, give a warm welcome to combined Mastur G and John Bator 486 00:42:07,820 --> 00:42:09,480 Masturbator! 487 00:42:10,823 --> 00:42:14,737 Yeah! I'm the Masturbator, the freaky palm god. 488 00:42:14,869 --> 00:42:17,158 Get back, you egg nog. 489 00:42:19,790 --> 00:42:22,281 Here it comes, Tromaville, here it comes! 490 00:42:22,418 --> 00:42:25,039 It's comin' up Tromaville. 491 00:42:36,057 --> 00:42:38,548 And now, last but not least, 492 00:42:38,684 --> 00:42:41,306 the man to beat the man, the creme de la creme, 493 00:42:41,437 --> 00:42:43,228 the greatest superhero of all. 494 00:42:43,356 --> 00:42:47,685 Please, welcome Sgt Kabukiman NYPD. 495 00:42:57,578 --> 00:42:59,784 Thank you, mayor. Thank you very much. 496 00:42:59,914 --> 00:43:04,659 Thank you. I just want to reassure every citizen of Tromaville 497 00:43:04,794 --> 00:43:07,711 that Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD 498 00:43:07,838 --> 00:43:12,833 can single handedly end Toxie's reign of terror. 499 00:43:12,969 --> 00:43:14,676 What a dumb-ass! 500 00:43:14,804 --> 00:43:19,300 Why, I could take him out with my heat-seeking chopsticks, 501 00:43:21,519 --> 00:43:24,223 or, or I could suffocate him 502 00:43:24,355 --> 00:43:28,269 with my computerized 16 bite sushi, 503 00:43:29,860 --> 00:43:33,988 or burn him, burn him with my pyro projectile parasols. 504 00:43:34,115 --> 00:43:39,156 I got many more to take him out but I don't think that will be necessary. 505 00:43:39,578 --> 00:43:44,917 Toxie will come in on his own. He was just having a bad day. 506 00:43:45,042 --> 00:43:49,621 We all have bad days! You know, maybe we don't go around ripping off 507 00:43:49,755 --> 00:43:54,750 the arms of the police chief and bash priests and cops in the heads with... 508 00:43:56,971 --> 00:43:59,177 - Thank you! - He's probably bi-polar. 509 00:43:59,306 --> 00:44:02,510 Abraham Lincoln was bi-polar and what did he do? 510 00:44:02,643 --> 00:44:04,387 He freed the slaves. 511 00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:08,185 So you see, if we just sit back, relax 512 00:44:08,315 --> 00:44:12,942 everything will come to a peaceful kabuki conclusion. 513 00:44:13,529 --> 00:44:16,316 Thank you, Kabukiman. 514 00:44:16,449 --> 00:44:19,236 Well as you can see Tromaville is in very capable hands. 515 00:44:19,368 --> 00:44:21,408 This concludes our press conference. 516 00:44:21,537 --> 00:44:24,953 Now, the moment you've all been waiting for: The puppet show. 517 00:44:25,332 --> 00:44:27,954 Fucking metal ball, fucking grass, fucking street, 518 00:44:28,085 --> 00:44:29,248 fucking fence, fucking fat girl. 519 00:44:29,378 --> 00:44:33,079 - Toxie, I'm your biggest fan! - That's great. 520 00:44:33,215 --> 00:44:36,916 Even a simple crack whore like me, working her way through art school, 521 00:44:37,053 --> 00:44:40,053 can appreciate the finer aspects of you. 522 00:44:40,181 --> 00:44:42,220 Where is my house? 523 00:44:43,309 --> 00:44:45,597 Maybe we should follow the signs. 524 00:44:46,562 --> 00:44:48,602 Toxie's Shack. 525 00:45:03,454 --> 00:45:05,493 The Plastique Palace? 526 00:45:10,461 --> 00:45:12,288 That's me! 527 00:45:23,349 --> 00:45:25,591 That's just wrong. 528 00:45:27,061 --> 00:45:28,520 Stop! Hold on! 529 00:45:34,110 --> 00:45:38,024 Oh shoot! There goes one of his arms. Oh, poor baby. 530 00:45:43,202 --> 00:45:44,661 Oh yeah. Look at that. 531 00:45:44,787 --> 00:45:49,615 Oh, he got nothing but a little bit of body left. 532 00:45:49,708 --> 00:45:54,287 You see that thing runnin' after us with the mop? 533 00:45:54,421 --> 00:45:55,666 I don't know, man, but he sure is ugly! 534 00:45:55,798 --> 00:45:58,087 C'mon step on it, let's go! 535 00:45:58,217 --> 00:45:59,925 He's getting mighty close. 536 00:46:00,052 --> 00:46:04,714 Oh no, he's jumping into the back of the car. 537 00:46:05,641 --> 00:46:08,428 Stop you! Stop the car! 538 00:46:14,024 --> 00:46:16,017 What the good goddamn was that? 539 00:46:16,152 --> 00:46:17,776 What're we gonna do? 540 00:46:17,903 --> 00:46:20,062 Will you say something? 541 00:46:20,197 --> 00:46:22,071 I'm afraid! 542 00:46:23,159 --> 00:46:26,693 Get away from me, please please. 543 00:46:26,829 --> 00:46:31,740 I was only kiddin'! Please, don't attack me, please! 544 00:46:44,513 --> 00:46:47,384 Hey ugly, ugly! 545 00:46:47,516 --> 00:46:49,473 Come here! 546 00:46:54,481 --> 00:46:56,889 Gee, I'm really sorry you lost your body. 547 00:46:57,026 --> 00:47:00,644 It's okay, ugly hero. It hurts but I've been through worse. 548 00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:04,565 You know a black man in America gets used to having nobody behind him. 549 00:47:04,700 --> 00:47:07,535 I guess I just got nobody at all. 550 00:47:08,412 --> 00:47:10,950 Hey, what are we gonna do about that crazy ass white boy up there? 551 00:47:12,124 --> 00:47:16,074 Well, I know what we can do with that mutha fucker. 552 00:47:18,130 --> 00:47:21,581 White Power! White Power! 553 00:47:23,761 --> 00:47:25,800 Hey boys, I brought you a present. 554 00:47:27,848 --> 00:47:31,632 - White Power! White Power! - Hey, don't you recognize me? 555 00:47:31,769 --> 00:47:34,686 What you doin'? 556 00:47:38,525 --> 00:47:42,440 That was fun. Thanks again for saving my life, super guy. 557 00:47:42,571 --> 00:47:44,149 Hey my name's Pompey. 558 00:47:44,281 --> 00:47:47,152 Pleased to meet you, Pompey. I'm Toxie. 559 00:47:47,284 --> 00:47:48,695 Sorry. 560 00:47:51,914 --> 00:47:54,701 Well, here we are, Pompey. The Plastique Palace. 561 00:47:54,833 --> 00:47:57,455 Oh yeah dude, you don't got to give me the play by play. 562 00:47:57,586 --> 00:48:00,256 - Just get me my body back. - Will do. 563 00:48:23,946 --> 00:48:26,022 - Mr. Offender. - Huh? 564 00:48:26,156 --> 00:48:30,450 Oh, I thought you were inspecting the hot dog factory today. 565 00:48:31,954 --> 00:48:33,993 It's not the penile implant, is it? 566 00:48:34,123 --> 00:48:35,321 No no no! 567 00:48:37,042 --> 00:48:40,127 I mean, hum no! 568 00:48:40,254 --> 00:48:43,670 Everything's fine with the uh penile implant. 569 00:48:43,799 --> 00:48:46,717 But will you fix my friend here? 570 00:48:48,387 --> 00:48:50,380 Oh hey, how ya doing there? 571 00:48:50,973 --> 00:48:52,597 Pretty ugly. 572 00:48:52,725 --> 00:48:54,385 I can hear that bitch! Who you calling ugly? 573 00:48:54,518 --> 00:48:57,187 Get my fucking head out of this bag and give me my body back, alright? 574 00:48:57,313 --> 00:49:00,017 - I think we can take care of it! - Thanks! 575 00:49:00,149 --> 00:49:03,150 What you do here? Give me a new body. I mean build me one. 576 00:49:03,277 --> 00:49:05,316 Think you can give me one of those bionic bodies or something like that? 577 00:49:05,446 --> 00:49:07,319 Get me a new body, alright? 578 00:49:07,448 --> 00:49:09,939 - Hot dog parts. - Yes, ma'am. 579 00:49:10,576 --> 00:49:13,114 You make a brother into a hot dog? You lucky I ain't got my feet! 580 00:49:13,245 --> 00:49:15,154 I'd kick yo ass! 581 00:49:15,289 --> 00:49:18,539 - I'm really hungry. - Okay okay. 582 00:49:18,667 --> 00:49:21,039 You are so annoying! 583 00:49:21,170 --> 00:49:23,209 No wonder everybody hates retarded people! 584 00:49:31,513 --> 00:49:33,553 Hey, let's go to the office and fuck! 585 00:49:34,767 --> 00:49:37,554 C'mon, let's get you some hot dogs. 586 00:49:37,686 --> 00:49:39,726 Hot dogs! I really love hot dogs. 587 00:49:42,399 --> 00:49:43,893 Help me! 588 00:49:44,026 --> 00:49:46,398 So that's how they make hot dogs. Gross. 589 00:49:46,528 --> 00:49:48,272 I'm never eating hot dogs again. 590 00:49:48,405 --> 00:49:52,320 Get me out of this bucket of body parts and help me find my real body. 591 00:49:52,451 --> 00:49:54,278 Help me, oh my God! 592 00:50:09,635 --> 00:50:11,010 Hey, buddy! 593 00:50:11,428 --> 00:50:14,215 Can you spare some change for an out of work particle physicist? 594 00:50:14,348 --> 00:50:15,759 Lardass? 595 00:50:15,891 --> 00:50:18,596 - Lardass! - Fuck you, Mr. Lumpyhead! 596 00:50:18,727 --> 00:50:20,969 I can't believe you're alive! I thought you were dead. 597 00:50:21,772 --> 00:50:24,607 First of all, my name's not Lardass, 598 00:50:24,733 --> 00:50:27,141 it's Chester. I resent the implication. 599 00:50:27,277 --> 00:50:29,484 Secondly, I wish I was dead. 600 00:50:30,531 --> 00:50:32,903 I was a scientist, one of the greatest in the world, 601 00:50:33,033 --> 00:50:36,034 and now I'm reduced to being the greatest cocksucker in the world. 602 00:50:36,745 --> 00:50:39,663 Without my Claire, life is meaningless. 603 00:50:40,374 --> 00:50:42,283 Hey, that's my wife! 604 00:50:42,418 --> 00:50:46,415 - Is that what you call her? - So you're really not my Lardass? 605 00:50:46,547 --> 00:50:49,038 I'm not Lardass, I'm Chester! 606 00:50:49,174 --> 00:50:51,214 I'm just a common street whore who happens to know 607 00:50:51,343 --> 00:50:53,336 the key to Inter-dimensional travel. 608 00:50:53,470 --> 00:50:54,751 Inter-dimensional travel? 609 00:50:54,888 --> 00:50:57,177 The ability to travel between dimensions. 610 00:50:57,307 --> 00:51:01,175 And then my Claire was kidnapped, by your goons, evil crime Lord. 611 00:51:01,311 --> 00:51:04,478 Then I just gave up the project, gave up my life as I knew it. 612 00:51:04,606 --> 00:51:07,643 But what do you care? To you I'm just a little piece of human shit. 613 00:51:07,776 --> 00:51:10,730 Another life shattered by your evil reign. 614 00:51:10,863 --> 00:51:13,069 Another story to tell your cronies while sitting up in your mansion 615 00:51:13,198 --> 00:51:15,238 up there 4 blocks up on the right. 616 00:51:18,412 --> 00:51:19,408 What's the matter? 617 00:51:19,538 --> 00:51:22,029 My lips aren't sweet enough for your toxic testicle nectar? 618 00:51:22,166 --> 00:51:24,242 Don't worry, Chester, I'll be back. 619 00:51:24,376 --> 00:51:27,163 Well, when you come back you'd better bring cash or pastries 620 00:51:27,296 --> 00:51:29,869 or you're not gonna get to touch this ass. 621 00:51:30,299 --> 00:51:34,795 Melvin, is that you? I heard what happened at school today. 622 00:51:34,928 --> 00:51:37,965 - You can hear? - Of course I can hear. 623 00:51:38,432 --> 00:51:40,887 I was so worried about you. 624 00:51:41,018 --> 00:51:44,434 After all, our soon to be baby needs a daddy. 625 00:51:45,230 --> 00:51:50,106 And look at the little baby outfit I made, there's even a little mop. 626 00:51:50,736 --> 00:51:53,274 Wait. You're pregnant? 627 00:51:53,405 --> 00:51:55,730 Well, yeah I'm pregnant. 628 00:51:56,241 --> 00:51:59,076 Melvin, your hands, 629 00:52:00,162 --> 00:52:01,870 they're so soft! 630 00:52:04,166 --> 00:52:09,243 Your manly chest, it's not quite so manly anymore. 631 00:52:09,963 --> 00:52:12,715 I've been eating a lot of melons lately. 632 00:52:14,092 --> 00:52:19,169 Melvin! Somehow your wiener has miraculously turned into a vagina. 633 00:52:19,681 --> 00:52:22,351 - What's going on around here? - Just relax. 634 00:52:23,268 --> 00:52:26,222 It's good for our relationship, 635 00:52:27,689 --> 00:52:29,599 it's good for the baby. 636 00:52:30,317 --> 00:52:32,191 Yeah, okay. 637 00:52:33,862 --> 00:52:37,231 Yeah, it's good for the baby, baby. 638 00:53:01,306 --> 00:53:03,678 I don't know what Noxie sees in this bitch, anyway. 639 00:53:03,809 --> 00:53:06,181 My ass is so much sweeter than hers! 640 00:53:06,311 --> 00:53:09,763 Where is he? It's time for my 5 o'clock reaming. 641 00:53:09,898 --> 00:53:11,807 Noxie, hey baby! 642 00:53:17,114 --> 00:53:18,691 Get off me, you. 643 00:53:18,824 --> 00:53:21,196 Cock chugging masochist! 644 00:53:21,326 --> 00:53:24,576 Look, you pervert, just get off! 645 00:53:25,247 --> 00:53:28,580 It's time for the rough stuff. I'll be right over here. 646 00:53:31,837 --> 00:53:33,710 Noxie! 647 00:53:40,887 --> 00:53:42,346 Excuse me, madam. 648 00:53:44,975 --> 00:53:47,014 Claire, wake up. 649 00:53:47,144 --> 00:53:50,678 Wake up, Claire. Rise and shine, come on. 650 00:53:50,814 --> 00:53:53,519 Don't worry, we'll get you outta here in a jiffy. 651 00:53:56,445 --> 00:53:57,690 Hey! 652 00:53:58,780 --> 00:54:01,485 Wait a second, you can see? 653 00:54:03,744 --> 00:54:06,235 Of course I can see, stupid. 654 00:54:06,371 --> 00:54:08,115 You're deaf? 655 00:54:09,583 --> 00:54:13,082 - What is this, some kind of joke? - Blast! I wish I took 656 00:54:13,211 --> 00:54:16,497 those sign language classes at Tromaville Community College. 657 00:54:17,507 --> 00:54:20,461 Well, that's okay. I can read lips, 658 00:54:20,594 --> 00:54:23,132 you dirty dumb dumb dumb ass! 659 00:54:23,263 --> 00:54:28,091 What's a matter? Why don't you rape me rape me and beat me beat me 660 00:54:28,226 --> 00:54:32,390 like you usually do, you fuckin' pervert! 661 00:54:32,522 --> 00:54:34,848 Fill my chocolate starfish 662 00:54:34,983 --> 00:54:39,063 with your chunky, chunky dick snot. 663 00:54:39,196 --> 00:54:43,110 Come on, come and do it now. Come and get it over with. 664 00:54:43,241 --> 00:54:45,448 No, no. Hold it, you don't understand. 665 00:54:47,412 --> 00:54:49,286 Yeah! 666 00:55:10,769 --> 00:55:12,560 Firey! 667 00:55:18,443 --> 00:55:20,566 It's explosive. 668 00:55:25,492 --> 00:55:29,537 Well ladies, now that you're all warmed up, 669 00:55:29,663 --> 00:55:33,246 are your chocolate starfish ready for my chunky dick snot? 670 00:55:35,836 --> 00:55:37,294 Oh my God! 671 00:55:38,922 --> 00:55:41,128 Get that thing away from me! 672 00:55:44,845 --> 00:55:46,636 Where you going? 673 00:55:54,813 --> 00:55:57,138 Where did the lovely lady go? 674 00:55:57,274 --> 00:56:00,524 You're about to find out the answers to all your questions. 675 00:56:06,825 --> 00:56:09,067 Look, not that I can't, but I'm married. 676 00:56:10,328 --> 00:56:12,617 - Will you get off? - I'm trying, damn it! 677 00:56:16,877 --> 00:56:18,750 Claire, Claire. 678 00:56:22,674 --> 00:56:25,461 Look. I know I may look like that Noxie character, 679 00:56:25,594 --> 00:56:27,633 but I'm not him, I'm totally different. 680 00:56:27,763 --> 00:56:33,219 What's a matter, did I do something wrong? Have I been a bad girl? 681 00:56:33,351 --> 00:56:35,640 I'll do anything you want. 682 00:56:35,771 --> 00:56:39,186 Just don't hurt me no more! 683 00:56:40,108 --> 00:56:41,900 Chester sent me. 684 00:56:43,028 --> 00:56:44,855 Chester? 685 00:56:49,951 --> 00:56:51,991 I'm your daddy now. 686 00:56:56,917 --> 00:57:00,036 I'm about to have your abortion. 687 00:57:03,799 --> 00:57:05,838 Better not be another Jehovah's witness. 688 00:57:05,967 --> 00:57:07,841 Fuck off! Oh, it's you. 689 00:57:07,969 --> 00:57:12,299 Toxie, I've got a little proposition for you. 690 00:57:12,432 --> 00:57:14,472 What say we take a little ride? 691 00:57:17,312 --> 00:57:21,310 Okay. Wait, can we stop for ice cream? 692 00:57:23,902 --> 00:57:26,060 Hey, hold it right there, Noxie! 693 00:57:27,906 --> 00:57:31,357 What's wrong with you, man? You're like a totally different person 694 00:57:31,493 --> 00:57:35,704 and now what? Takin' the sex slave out for a romantic dinner? 695 00:57:35,831 --> 00:57:38,368 I don't know what's gotten into you, but it's not right. 696 00:57:38,500 --> 00:57:40,539 Now why don't you take that slut back to the pit where she belongs 697 00:57:40,669 --> 00:57:43,586 and come with me? We've got something to discuss. 698 00:57:45,215 --> 00:57:46,590 What the fuck!? 699 00:57:47,467 --> 00:57:50,421 You read sign language, right? Well, listen to this! 700 00:57:53,765 --> 00:57:55,425 Run, Claire, run! 701 00:57:56,977 --> 00:57:59,135 I knew it. I knew something was wrong. 702 00:57:59,271 --> 00:58:01,678 You're not the real Noxie after all, are you? 703 00:58:01,815 --> 00:58:03,143 That may be, 704 00:58:03,275 --> 00:58:08,352 but I know Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD and you sir are no Sgt Kabukiman NYPD. 705 00:58:15,745 --> 00:58:18,236 Lord, Jesus, Mother Mary, 706 00:58:18,373 --> 00:58:22,074 you up there, it's me, Mayor Goldberg of Tromaville. 707 00:58:22,210 --> 00:58:26,956 I really really need you, Lord. I need a sign, just any sign, 708 00:58:27,090 --> 00:58:32,085 just to show me that you're here for the people of Tromaville. 709 00:58:32,387 --> 00:58:36,515 Please, Lord, just any sign, just a sign. 710 00:58:36,641 --> 00:58:38,515 Please, any sign. 711 00:58:43,690 --> 00:58:46,774 Oh well, thanks for taking the time to listen. 712 00:58:47,777 --> 00:58:51,111 I feel better for asking. Amen. 713 00:59:05,086 --> 00:59:08,040 Coming up at 11. Mayor Goldberg out, Toxie in. 714 00:59:08,173 --> 00:59:11,589 And our very own Josh Levitsky makes a run for the border. 715 00:59:11,718 --> 00:59:13,960 In his special piece about lesbians titled. 716 00:59:14,095 --> 00:59:16,765 Strappin' it on and getting up over in there. 717 00:59:16,890 --> 00:59:18,170 Rootin' around. 718 00:59:18,308 --> 00:59:20,846 - I know where I'm gonna be at 11. - Hey, that's appointment TV! 719 01:01:13,465 --> 01:01:16,169 Toxie? Toxie? 720 01:01:53,088 --> 01:01:54,747 What? Who's there? 721 01:01:54,881 --> 01:01:56,755 You mother fucker, can't you hear me? 722 01:01:56,883 --> 01:02:00,252 Mister Head, I didn't see you back there. 723 01:02:00,386 --> 01:02:02,509 No, my name ain't Mister Head, man. It's Pompey. 724 01:02:02,639 --> 01:02:05,509 Pompey, nice to meet you. My name is Tito. 725 01:02:05,642 --> 01:02:09,686 - Yah how you doin', Tito? - Pompey, let's make a deal. 726 01:02:09,813 --> 01:02:14,142 If you chew through my ropes, I won't let you become meat product, okay? 727 01:02:14,275 --> 01:02:17,609 Shit, that sounds like a plan to me, Tito. Come here. 728 01:02:24,077 --> 01:02:26,746 Chew, chew, Pompey! Chew like the wind. 729 01:02:29,582 --> 01:02:33,627 Chew, Pompey, but hurry or else you'll become Pompey headcheese. 730 01:02:34,295 --> 01:02:36,703 Not headcheese, no! 731 01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:38,250 Almost... 732 01:02:39,592 --> 01:02:41,086 Alright, got it! 733 01:02:41,594 --> 01:02:43,421 Come get me, get me! 734 01:02:45,431 --> 01:02:46,926 Fuck this man, I'm outta here. 735 01:02:47,058 --> 01:02:49,893 Me too! Me too! Help! Me too! 736 01:02:50,019 --> 01:02:51,893 Okay. 737 01:02:59,904 --> 01:03:04,282 - Okay. - Ready... here we go. 738 01:03:18,047 --> 01:03:20,799 Wait, Tito! Toxie needs help! 739 01:03:36,566 --> 01:03:39,139 No! No no! 740 01:03:41,529 --> 01:03:43,321 - What do I do? - You big retarded pussy! 741 01:03:43,448 --> 01:03:45,986 You better get your ass over there and help that retarded girl. 742 01:03:46,117 --> 01:03:47,576 You go, girl! You hit him! 743 01:03:47,702 --> 01:03:49,944 Hit him again! He'll survive that. 744 01:03:50,079 --> 01:03:52,653 You get him, retarded girl. Work it out! 745 01:04:17,232 --> 01:04:19,023 Come, we gotta get out of here. Come on! 746 01:04:21,694 --> 01:04:23,651 Come on! 747 01:04:30,828 --> 01:04:32,488 Dead end, dead end! 748 01:04:32,622 --> 01:04:34,365 Toxie, we've got to go. 749 01:04:42,757 --> 01:04:44,666 Oh no! What happened? 750 01:04:44,801 --> 01:04:46,877 Kabukimars coming. We've got to go. 751 01:04:49,514 --> 01:04:52,087 Come on, let's go. Jump, chickenshit. C'mon, let's go! 752 01:04:52,225 --> 01:04:53,968 - I don't want to go! - Go! 753 01:04:59,774 --> 01:05:01,565 Damn! 754 01:05:08,658 --> 01:05:12,157 Damn! They're very slowly getting away. 755 01:05:13,871 --> 01:05:15,414 Well, fuck'em. 756 01:05:21,087 --> 01:05:26,461 Mayor Goldberg, Tromaville's liberal kubla khan, dead at 52. 757 01:05:27,677 --> 01:05:30,084 What is to become of Tromadu? 758 01:05:30,221 --> 01:05:33,341 Tromadu! What will happen to the stately pleasure dome 759 01:05:33,474 --> 01:05:36,179 he built with the taxpayers' money? 760 01:05:36,561 --> 01:05:40,179 Tromadu, where man and beast play, 761 01:05:42,442 --> 01:05:45,775 and women play with each other. 762 01:05:54,370 --> 01:05:57,288 Tromadu, haven to the artsy 763 01:05:57,790 --> 01:05:59,617 and to the fartsy. 764 01:06:01,002 --> 01:06:04,453 And who can forget the interpretive dancers? 765 01:06:05,798 --> 01:06:07,625 People are letting it all hang out 766 01:06:07,759 --> 01:06:10,843 at one of the famous Tromadu grotto parties. 767 01:06:16,476 --> 01:06:19,845 Look here, it's the Toxic Avenger, Tromaville's newest mayor. 768 01:06:19,979 --> 01:06:24,440 Mr. Toxie, how did you find cultural conditions in Tromaville? 769 01:06:24,942 --> 01:06:26,982 With great difficulty. 770 01:06:31,282 --> 01:06:32,824 Hey Toxie, what do you make of this 771 01:06:32,950 --> 01:06:36,117 easy on the eyes Jackson Pollack-esque painting here? 772 01:06:46,047 --> 01:06:49,001 Well, I guess everyone's a critic. 773 01:06:49,133 --> 01:06:51,375 Look at these young lovers, enjoying 774 01:06:51,511 --> 01:06:53,918 the bounteous pleasures at Tromadu. 775 01:06:55,473 --> 01:06:57,133 I could die in these breasts. 776 01:06:57,266 --> 01:07:00,220 Bullseye! Cupid strikes again. 777 01:07:04,232 --> 01:07:05,975 And so does Toxie. 778 01:07:12,657 --> 01:07:16,785 That's what I call a facelift. Looking good, Toxie. 779 01:07:18,037 --> 01:07:21,488 At Tromadu Toxie is always ahead in the polls, 780 01:07:21,624 --> 01:07:24,874 or a pole in the head. Whoopsie daisy! 781 01:07:25,002 --> 01:07:27,838 Uh uh, the party's over, says Toxie. 782 01:07:29,924 --> 01:07:33,791 Wow. It looks like Toxie's really tuckered out. 783 01:07:35,054 --> 01:07:38,589 - What's that on your face, Toxie? - Nose blood. 784 01:07:44,647 --> 01:07:47,055 Toxie promises his first action as mayor will be to kill 785 01:07:47,191 --> 01:07:50,192 all those goofy superheroes, especially Kabukiman. 786 01:07:50,319 --> 01:07:53,605 Oh my gosh, we're doomed. We're doomed. 787 01:07:53,739 --> 01:07:55,779 We're gonna die. 788 01:07:58,953 --> 01:08:01,658 Wait, we're acting all chicken. 789 01:08:01,789 --> 01:08:04,707 It's about time we do some evil ass kickin'. 790 01:08:05,209 --> 01:08:07,202 That's really nice, Masturbator, 791 01:08:07,336 --> 01:08:10,421 but fuck that. I'm not going to die, not in Jersey. 792 01:08:10,548 --> 01:08:12,090 Now I'm getting the hell out of here. 793 01:08:36,699 --> 01:08:40,198 My God, I never thought of it that way before. 794 01:08:40,328 --> 01:08:42,616 Now let's save Tromaville! 795 01:08:44,540 --> 01:08:47,292 Go, Mad Cowboy. Go, Dolphin Man. 796 01:08:47,418 --> 01:08:51,119 Go, Masturbator. Speed it up, Vibrator. 797 01:08:51,255 --> 01:08:53,627 I'm coming! 798 01:09:10,733 --> 01:09:13,734 That Kabuki-faggot ran away. 799 01:09:13,861 --> 01:09:15,818 I kicked his ass good. 800 01:09:18,074 --> 01:09:19,568 I guess that... 801 01:09:26,207 --> 01:09:28,662 Well, I guess that... 802 01:09:36,592 --> 01:09:37,837 I guess... 803 01:09:40,263 --> 01:09:42,339 I guess that takes care of that. 804 01:09:54,402 --> 01:10:01,400 I Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD am a failure. 805 01:10:01,534 --> 01:10:02,993 I suck. 806 01:10:03,703 --> 01:10:06,276 My arm is broken. 807 01:10:06,414 --> 01:10:08,371 My leg is all fucked up. 808 01:10:09,333 --> 01:10:12,418 And I gotta pee like a race horse. 809 01:10:13,504 --> 01:10:15,331 Where's the hospital? 810 01:10:17,592 --> 01:10:19,631 Aaaawww shite! 811 01:10:20,052 --> 01:10:22,128 This ain't no fuckin' hospital! 812 01:10:22,263 --> 01:10:24,302 It's not the fuckin' hospital! 813 01:10:24,974 --> 01:10:28,058 Hey, ya got a pisser in here? 814 01:10:28,811 --> 01:10:32,856 'Cause I've gotta pee real bad. 815 01:10:32,982 --> 01:10:35,021 Yes I do. 816 01:10:43,534 --> 01:10:45,527 Oh my gosh! 817 01:10:45,661 --> 01:10:48,662 Who could do such a thing to a defenseless, 818 01:10:48,789 --> 01:10:50,284 beautiful, 819 01:10:50,416 --> 01:10:54,627 hot, exceedingly attractive woman like that? 820 01:10:54,754 --> 01:10:56,462 I must... 821 01:10:56,589 --> 01:10:59,210 I must free her, yeah. 822 01:10:59,342 --> 01:11:03,553 Here I come, Kabukiman, to the rescue. 823 01:11:04,013 --> 01:11:07,180 Hold on there, damsel in distress. 824 01:11:08,768 --> 01:11:12,848 Your hero is about to arrive, to save. I'm here to rescue you. 825 01:11:12,980 --> 01:11:16,147 Just grab these knots. Undo these knots. 826 01:11:17,401 --> 01:11:20,568 This knot. This is not easy. 827 01:11:39,382 --> 01:11:41,623 Have a pie. 828 01:11:50,101 --> 01:11:52,556 See ya tomorrow? 829 01:11:54,397 --> 01:11:56,769 Alright, alright, who's next? 830 01:12:00,611 --> 01:12:04,739 - Claire, is that you? - Oh, Chester. 831 01:12:05,741 --> 01:12:08,908 Claire! I though you were dead! 832 01:12:09,036 --> 01:12:11,954 I was dead without your love. 833 01:12:12,081 --> 01:12:17,122 I dreamt of you every single night. 834 01:12:17,253 --> 01:12:22,591 I dreamed of you. 835 01:12:22,717 --> 01:12:26,002 The rape, the torture, 836 01:12:26,137 --> 01:12:30,514 the corn holing that fucker Noxie put me through. 837 01:12:32,560 --> 01:12:36,688 Oh, my darling, look what he did to your face. 838 01:12:36,814 --> 01:12:41,939 That doesn't matter now. All that matters is that I'm here 839 01:12:42,069 --> 01:12:43,813 with you. 840 01:12:53,122 --> 01:12:54,581 Oh! 841 01:12:54,707 --> 01:12:56,331 Chester! 842 01:13:00,212 --> 01:13:02,584 Ooh! Yea! 843 01:13:13,058 --> 01:13:16,059 The ecstasy! 844 01:13:21,150 --> 01:13:25,230 Do you remember the cheese? 845 01:13:25,362 --> 01:13:27,735 I saved the cheese for you, Claire. 846 01:13:27,865 --> 01:13:32,112 I've been waiting so long to cut the cheese for you, Claire. 847 01:13:48,010 --> 01:13:49,718 Yeah, cowboy! 848 01:13:54,099 --> 01:13:56,425 Claire, I love you. 849 01:14:01,190 --> 01:14:03,229 You're pregnant! 850 01:14:04,151 --> 01:14:06,191 That's wonderful, doctor! 851 01:14:06,320 --> 01:14:09,938 You're pregnant with two babies. 852 01:14:10,074 --> 01:14:11,402 Two babies!? 853 01:14:11,534 --> 01:14:15,994 From what appears to be two completely different fathers. 854 01:14:16,121 --> 01:14:17,948 And that's preposterous! 855 01:14:19,959 --> 01:14:23,826 That must be... good... 856 01:14:23,963 --> 01:14:26,750 ...and evil. - Right. 857 01:14:26,882 --> 01:14:29,967 Well what can I do about that, doctor? 858 01:14:30,094 --> 01:14:33,011 Well I'm glad you asked that question. 859 01:14:33,138 --> 01:14:34,549 Nurse? 860 01:14:36,350 --> 01:14:38,806 Lovely, just like that. Thank you. 861 01:14:39,562 --> 01:14:43,429 What I have done is extracted the actual fluid 862 01:14:43,566 --> 01:14:46,685 from the feti inside your body. 863 01:14:46,819 --> 01:14:49,654 This is the good fluid, this is the evil fluid. 864 01:14:49,780 --> 01:14:51,737 You can tell because it's red. 865 01:14:51,866 --> 01:14:55,614 Now, inside your body you have to make a choice 866 01:14:55,744 --> 01:14:58,366 Because these two right here are fighting, fighting, fighting. 867 01:14:58,497 --> 01:15:03,159 One will win, and eventually this is what it will look like. 868 01:15:05,754 --> 01:15:07,794 That sizzles. 869 01:15:07,923 --> 01:15:10,295 That will be you. 870 01:15:10,426 --> 01:15:13,095 The choice is very simple and clearly yours. 871 01:15:13,220 --> 01:15:17,088 Either A, you can choose to explode, or B, you can choose to abort. 872 01:15:17,224 --> 01:15:22,100 - Explode or abort. - What does one do?! 873 01:15:23,063 --> 01:15:25,637 I'll have to think about that, doctor. 874 01:15:25,774 --> 01:15:28,978 Ponder not too long because actually you only have about 2 or 3 hours 875 01:15:29,111 --> 01:15:31,816 until this whole process takes place. 876 01:15:36,368 --> 01:15:39,322 Melvin, where are you!? 877 01:15:39,455 --> 01:15:44,911 - Doctor, remove the thermometer from my behind. - Well, let me check. 878 01:15:49,882 --> 01:15:52,503 Tromaville Abortion Clinic, may I help you? 879 01:15:52,635 --> 01:15:54,841 I'm sorry but the doctor's still in the topless bar, 880 01:15:54,970 --> 01:15:59,513 I mean an appointment. Would you like his voicemail? 881 01:16:01,977 --> 01:16:06,888 Choose life or die! Choose life or die! 882 01:16:07,024 --> 01:16:11,235 Choose life or die! Choose life or die! 883 01:16:11,362 --> 01:16:12,737 Choose life or die! 884 01:16:15,032 --> 01:16:18,365 It sure is hot out here today. 885 01:16:20,955 --> 01:16:22,532 Hello? 886 01:16:22,665 --> 01:16:25,202 Excuse me, 887 01:16:25,334 --> 01:16:28,584 is this the line for the family planning? 888 01:16:29,755 --> 01:16:30,585 No? 889 01:16:31,674 --> 01:16:34,840 Burn in hell, abortion bitch! 890 01:16:36,637 --> 01:16:42,592 At least this sweet gentle rain will cool things off today. 891 01:16:46,230 --> 01:16:48,981 Oh, my goodness! 892 01:16:49,108 --> 01:16:51,943 Oh, my goodness, sweetie, look at you! 893 01:16:52,069 --> 01:16:54,904 Quick we gotta get you AP, 894 01:16:55,030 --> 01:16:57,865 Careful We'll take good care of you. 895 01:16:57,992 --> 01:17:02,155 Well, I'm really only here to weigh my options. 896 01:17:02,287 --> 01:17:05,491 Options? Oh we've got lots of options! 897 01:17:05,624 --> 01:17:10,286 Let's see, first we open up your vagina with this speculum, 898 01:17:10,963 --> 01:17:14,628 and take this instrument, a little sort of like a harpoon, 899 01:17:14,758 --> 01:17:17,296 we can shove it all in... 900 01:17:19,555 --> 01:17:21,346 What's the matter, my dear? 901 01:17:21,473 --> 01:17:24,011 I think I'm going into labor. 902 01:17:24,143 --> 01:17:27,761 Oh, my goodness, we better abort in a hurry. 903 01:17:27,896 --> 01:17:30,648 Dottor Cassidy! 904 01:17:34,111 --> 01:17:36,519 What seems to be the problem, Miss Scraper? 905 01:17:36,655 --> 01:17:39,941 This young lady needs to be de-foetused, stat! 906 01:17:40,075 --> 01:17:43,776 An excellent choice, my dear. And so much better for the children, 907 01:17:43,912 --> 01:17:47,827 I'm sure you'll agree. Now let's just take a tiny little listen, ok? 908 01:17:48,751 --> 01:17:51,668 Whoa, my, my, that one is lively, isn't it? 909 01:17:53,964 --> 01:17:58,425 That fuckin' speculum, I told you to throw mother-fucker away! 910 01:17:58,552 --> 01:18:01,588 There's a case for the speculum! 911 01:18:13,358 --> 01:18:15,647 - Next. - My anus! 912 01:18:16,278 --> 01:18:18,354 My fuckin' butthole! 913 01:18:22,826 --> 01:18:25,151 Call a doctor! 914 01:18:29,541 --> 01:18:32,791 Tromaville Abortion Clinic, may I help you? 915 01:18:32,920 --> 01:18:36,454 I'm sorry but the doctor just died of rectal hemorrhaging. 916 01:18:36,590 --> 01:18:38,381 Would you like his voicemail? 917 01:18:38,509 --> 01:18:43,217 It's alright, it's ok. It's ok, Toxie. 918 01:18:43,347 --> 01:18:46,348 Look! I told you he'd be here! 919 01:18:46,475 --> 01:18:48,882 Claire says that she knew you'd be here, in this dump! 920 01:18:49,019 --> 01:18:51,095 It's the only place I know. 921 01:18:51,230 --> 01:18:54,930 We'd like to thank you again, for bringing us back together. 922 01:18:55,067 --> 01:18:57,854 - Yes, thank you. - So come on, 923 01:18:57,986 --> 01:19:01,521 ...let's get you out of here. - What's the point? 924 01:19:01,657 --> 01:19:05,489 I mean I belong here in the dump with the garbage and the rotting food. 925 01:19:05,619 --> 01:19:07,825 You seem to have forgotten something. 926 01:19:07,955 --> 01:19:11,952 I'm a physicist. When I said I was gonna get you out of here, 927 01:19:12,084 --> 01:19:15,500 - I meant this dimension! - Dimension. 928 01:19:15,629 --> 01:19:17,622 - Come on. - Come on. 929 01:19:17,756 --> 01:19:19,334 - Let's go. - We go. 930 01:19:19,883 --> 01:19:24,296 A scientific comrade of mine was recently killed in a freak accident, 931 01:19:24,429 --> 01:19:27,383 and he bequeathed me his laboratory 932 01:19:27,516 --> 01:19:30,137 and all of his insane theories of inter-dimensional travel. 933 01:19:30,269 --> 01:19:33,934 - Travel. - I hope you don't mind the mess. 934 01:19:34,064 --> 01:19:37,480 Um, no, I didn't even notice it. 935 01:19:37,609 --> 01:19:39,732 Now let's get you back to Tromaville. 936 01:21:00,275 --> 01:21:05,021 I think I've got it. I've found the key to inter-dimensional travel 937 01:21:05,155 --> 01:21:07,860 in this seldom read scientific tome. 938 01:21:08,033 --> 01:21:10,868 Please tell me it doesn't involve exploding a school 939 01:21:10,994 --> 01:21:14,446 ...full of special children. - No, it's much simpler. 940 01:21:14,581 --> 01:21:19,124 You see Toxie, You've had the power to go home this whole time. 941 01:21:22,881 --> 01:21:26,499 These will help you find your way. 942 01:21:26,635 --> 01:21:28,509 Oh, I give off! 943 01:21:33,308 --> 01:21:35,764 The operating procedures are quite simple. 944 01:21:35,894 --> 01:21:39,974 All you have to do is think of home and click your heels three times. 945 01:21:42,109 --> 01:21:44,350 You may have to try this more than once. 946 01:21:44,486 --> 01:21:47,107 Inter-dimensional travel is not an exact science. 947 01:21:47,239 --> 01:21:49,113 You might find yourself in Heaven. 948 01:21:49,241 --> 01:21:52,610 Or you might find yourself on a 1970's gay porno set. 949 01:21:52,744 --> 01:21:54,404 Ready? 950 01:21:54,997 --> 01:21:56,788 Upsy daisy. 951 01:21:56,915 --> 01:21:58,623 - Come on, Tito. - Come on, Tito, hop up. 952 01:21:58,750 --> 01:22:00,328 I'm not going. 953 01:22:01,461 --> 01:22:04,830 What do you mean you're not going? 954 01:22:05,924 --> 01:22:09,507 Tito, come on, we've got to go back to Tromaville. We don't belong here. 955 01:22:10,846 --> 01:22:13,004 I don't belong anywhere. 956 01:22:13,140 --> 01:22:15,809 But as long as there are people 957 01:22:15,934 --> 01:22:21,807 like evil mabuki pagoop... Kabukiman running around, 958 01:22:21,940 --> 01:22:25,391 I must stay and protect the citizens of Amortville. 959 01:22:25,527 --> 01:22:29,359 I have become the Retarded Revenger! 960 01:22:30,365 --> 01:22:32,488 Don't forget about your sidekick, Pompey 961 01:22:32,617 --> 01:22:35,821 The baddest bodyless mother-fucker in all of Amortiville. 962 01:22:38,707 --> 01:22:42,657 I want you to have this, in memory of Lardass. 963 01:22:45,005 --> 01:22:48,504 Actually, Tito, you've already made me proud. 964 01:22:48,633 --> 01:22:52,168 - My man. - I will miss you, 965 01:22:53,180 --> 01:22:54,971 Toxic Avenger. 966 01:22:56,266 --> 01:22:58,839 - I'll miss you too, Tito. - Yeah! 967 01:22:58,977 --> 01:23:00,685 Can I have my blanket? 968 01:23:06,860 --> 01:23:08,485 Ready? 969 01:23:09,654 --> 01:23:14,696 There's no place like Tromaville. There's no place like Tromaville. 970 01:23:14,826 --> 01:23:16,653 There's no place like Tromaville. 971 01:23:37,599 --> 01:23:39,675 What's... What the... What the... 972 01:23:44,272 --> 01:23:46,763 I never felt... 973 01:23:51,696 --> 01:23:52,728 Cut! 974 01:24:02,666 --> 01:24:05,750 - Alfred Jones. - Leukemia. 975 01:24:06,878 --> 01:24:08,918 Jeffrey Smith. 976 01:24:09,047 --> 01:24:11,965 - Alcoholism. - Bill Gullow. 977 01:24:12,759 --> 01:24:13,673 Polio. 978 01:24:13,802 --> 01:24:17,052 God, I kinda think they invented a cure for that one. 979 01:24:18,306 --> 01:24:20,548 Goddammit! Well that's alright. 980 01:24:20,684 --> 01:24:22,676 Every time they come up with a cure for one disease, 981 01:24:22,811 --> 01:24:25,053 I come up with something even more deadly! 982 01:24:25,814 --> 01:24:28,056 AIDS. Now that was a good one! 983 01:24:28,191 --> 01:24:29,816 AIDS! 984 01:24:34,948 --> 01:24:37,356 - God? - Yeah, what do you want? 985 01:24:37,492 --> 01:24:40,197 - We just wanna go home. - You bastard! 986 01:24:40,328 --> 01:24:41,657 What do you wanna go home for!? 987 01:24:41,788 --> 01:24:45,786 This is Heaven! This is the best place around! 988 01:24:48,753 --> 01:24:53,415 God, I think this is the Toxic Avenger, he's from Tromaville. 989 01:24:53,550 --> 01:24:56,717 Alright, you can go back to Tromaville, 990 01:24:56,845 --> 01:24:58,304 but you gotta do me two favors! 991 01:24:58,430 --> 01:25:02,558 First you gotta kick the asses of all the murderers and child rapists! 992 01:25:02,684 --> 01:25:08,224 And, you tell the Pope, stop talking about me, he doesn't know me. 993 01:25:08,356 --> 01:25:11,108 And his hat is stupid! 994 01:25:11,234 --> 01:25:13,606 - Uh, yes sir! - Get outta here! 995 01:25:13,737 --> 01:25:16,488 Alright God! You're awesome! 996 01:25:21,620 --> 01:25:26,365 All those other super human heroes would've died anyway. 997 01:25:26,500 --> 01:25:28,872 Now I've got Toxie's shack, 998 01:25:29,002 --> 01:25:33,628 we're drinkin', we got some bimbos on the way, it's all good. 999 01:25:37,469 --> 01:25:42,843 Who the hell are you? Toxie... 1000 01:25:42,974 --> 01:25:46,842 Noxie, he's gonna kill. Oh what do I do? 1001 01:25:46,978 --> 01:25:51,190 I just had the weirdest dream! Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD you were there. 1002 01:25:51,316 --> 01:25:54,068 Except you were evil and you kicked my ass. 1003 01:25:55,278 --> 01:25:56,559 And you! 1004 01:25:56,696 --> 01:25:58,653 You weren't there. And you! 1005 01:25:59,699 --> 01:26:01,692 You weren't there either. 1006 01:26:01,826 --> 01:26:04,199 Who are you guys? What're you doing in my shack? 1007 01:26:04,329 --> 01:26:06,072 Don't hurt me. 1008 01:26:07,499 --> 01:26:11,247 Kabuk, where's Sarah? What's going on? What happened to you? 1009 01:26:11,378 --> 01:26:13,833 Toxie? Toxie, 1010 01:26:13,964 --> 01:26:16,715 is that really you? Is that the real you? 1011 01:26:16,841 --> 01:26:19,083 Yeah it's me. 1012 01:26:19,219 --> 01:26:20,962 Thank God! 1013 01:26:21,096 --> 01:26:26,221 Hey, you've gotta stop yourself, the evil version of you. 1014 01:26:26,351 --> 01:26:30,265 - You've gone power mad. - The evil version of me? 1015 01:26:31,565 --> 01:26:33,189 Sweetie Honey! 1016 01:26:34,109 --> 01:26:36,481 Then it wasn't a dream! 1017 01:26:36,611 --> 01:26:39,316 - Where's Sarah? - I saw her at the hospital. 1018 01:26:39,447 --> 01:26:43,112 She's been kidnapped by the evil Toxic Avenger, the evil you, 1019 01:26:43,243 --> 01:26:47,075 and wait, you don't wanna go in there. It's all sealed up tight now 1020 01:26:47,205 --> 01:26:50,123 and they got a shit load of guards and they all know kung fu and... 1021 01:26:50,250 --> 01:26:54,413 Ok. We've got to get the other heroes of Tromaville and storm the hospital! 1022 01:26:54,546 --> 01:26:57,215 They're all dead. 1023 01:26:58,258 --> 01:27:00,665 - All of them? - Yep. 1024 01:27:01,303 --> 01:27:04,007 - Even Dolphin Man? - Oh, yeah. 1025 01:27:08,393 --> 01:27:12,058 Alright, well then it's up to the two of us. C'mon, let's go. 1026 01:27:14,316 --> 01:27:17,815 Ok, I'll catch up with ya. I'll be right there. Just gonna... 1027 01:27:20,947 --> 01:27:23,272 - What's your name? - Sweetie Honey. 1028 01:27:23,408 --> 01:27:24,902 I'm a big girl too. 1029 01:27:25,035 --> 01:27:27,822 Oh yes you are, Here would you like a drink? 1030 01:27:39,674 --> 01:27:41,299 Good girl. 1031 01:28:07,994 --> 01:28:11,612 Yes, fight my son, Fight! 1032 01:28:14,793 --> 01:28:17,081 - How long!? - I'm not sure. 1033 01:28:18,338 --> 01:28:22,466 Very well. If you need me I'll be in the snack bar having nachos. 1034 01:28:39,275 --> 01:28:41,766 Kazinsky, we may have a problem. 1035 01:28:41,903 --> 01:28:44,394 What is it? I'm due for my nose job. 1036 01:28:44,531 --> 01:28:48,196 - I think Toxie's good again! - What misfortune. 1037 01:28:48,785 --> 01:28:52,450 Toxie, come in! Videhauffer says you've turned good again! 1038 01:28:52,580 --> 01:28:56,115 - What the hell is that? - Go check it out. 1039 01:28:56,251 --> 01:29:00,545 And make sure whatever he's talking about doesn't make it to this floor! 1040 01:29:00,672 --> 01:29:02,711 Yes, sir. 1041 01:30:01,399 --> 01:30:04,685 I've gotta find Sarah! 1042 01:30:04,819 --> 01:30:07,310 If there only were a giant map like they have at the mall. 1043 01:30:07,447 --> 01:30:09,274 Tromaville Hospital! 1044 01:30:09,407 --> 01:30:12,076 Oh, hello! 1045 01:30:12,202 --> 01:30:14,159 Let's see, I'm in here 1046 01:30:14,287 --> 01:30:17,952 and Noxie is here 1047 01:30:18,082 --> 01:30:19,625 and uh let's see here 1048 01:30:19,751 --> 01:30:23,998 armed guards that want to kill me are here. 1049 01:30:57,330 --> 01:31:01,328 Oh, no! Now I've got AIDS! 1050 01:32:11,863 --> 01:32:14,318 I've got to get out of here. 1051 01:32:16,910 --> 01:32:17,858 Toxie. 1052 01:32:22,457 --> 01:32:27,202 You blew up a school filled with special children. 1053 01:32:27,337 --> 01:32:30,207 What's inside your head? 1054 01:32:30,340 --> 01:32:33,424 Let's find out, shall we? 1055 01:32:36,179 --> 01:32:38,551 No, Toxie, no! 1056 01:32:45,813 --> 01:32:47,889 Sarah! 1057 01:32:50,735 --> 01:32:52,478 Yeah, I fucked her. 1058 01:32:53,738 --> 01:32:55,280 No. 1059 01:34:47,435 --> 01:34:51,729 Not only am I gonna kill you, I'm gonna rape your virgin ass first. 1060 01:34:52,523 --> 01:34:53,602 No! 1061 01:35:04,869 --> 01:35:06,696 Ever been in prison? 1062 01:35:18,341 --> 01:35:20,499 That won't work. 1063 01:35:20,635 --> 01:35:22,923 - Let's see... - What are you doing? 1064 01:35:23,054 --> 01:35:25,426 It's gonna blow. 1065 01:35:34,899 --> 01:35:38,315 I think my waters broke. 1066 01:35:52,250 --> 01:35:56,461 Do you know what the difference is between you and me? I'm a real person 1067 01:35:56,587 --> 01:36:01,130 I don't have to fill my body with plastics and silicone! 1068 01:36:04,345 --> 01:36:07,465 My eye is real! Doink! 1069 01:36:07,598 --> 01:36:10,552 My dick is real! 1070 01:36:12,603 --> 01:36:16,019 And my colon is real and my large intestine is real. 1071 01:36:17,608 --> 01:36:19,850 And my pancreas is real! 1072 01:36:20,820 --> 01:36:24,355 And my duodenal ulcer is real! 1073 01:36:24,490 --> 01:36:26,530 Most importantly... 1074 01:36:32,373 --> 01:36:34,413 so is my heart. 1075 01:36:56,898 --> 01:36:59,139 Stewy? 1076 01:36:59,275 --> 01:37:01,433 Bozo? 1077 01:37:02,737 --> 01:37:04,445 Melvin? 1078 01:37:06,407 --> 01:37:09,028 - I'm you. - I'm you. 1079 01:37:09,577 --> 01:37:11,700 Gimme a hug! 1080 01:37:11,829 --> 01:37:14,285 Oh, you're beautiful. 1081 01:37:23,216 --> 01:37:24,840 Sorry sorry sorry sorry. 1082 01:37:24,967 --> 01:37:27,090 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1083 01:37:31,015 --> 01:37:32,426 What is wrong with you? 1084 01:37:33,643 --> 01:37:36,679 I'm evil. 1085 01:37:36,812 --> 01:37:38,604 Don't you know that? 1086 01:37:40,900 --> 01:37:43,142 - Gimme some! - No. 1087 01:37:48,532 --> 01:37:50,192 That's it. 1088 01:38:02,421 --> 01:38:07,664 I'll be back, mother-fucker, if there's a sequel 1089 01:38:07,802 --> 01:38:10,257 I'll be back! 1090 01:38:20,231 --> 01:38:23,315 Sarah, it's ok honey, I'm here. 1091 01:38:24,277 --> 01:38:28,191 Oh, Melvin! I'm so glad you're back. 1092 01:38:35,538 --> 01:38:36,997 Doctors! 1093 01:38:37,123 --> 01:38:40,990 Is there a doctor in the house? Anyone, someone? 1094 01:38:41,127 --> 01:38:43,831 Oh, my God! She's hemorrhaging! 1095 01:38:45,339 --> 01:38:47,830 No no, this is just dick tissue. 1096 01:38:49,552 --> 01:38:50,963 Hello? Hello? 1097 01:38:52,596 --> 01:38:54,589 Baby? 1098 01:38:54,724 --> 01:38:58,306 Tonight at 11, bad Toxie goes out good Toxie in. 1099 01:38:58,436 --> 01:39:00,309 And congratulations Toxie, we heard it's a boy. 1100 01:39:00,438 --> 01:39:03,771 - Hey, all right! - Also at 11 our very own Levinsky. 1101 01:39:03,899 --> 01:39:08,111 Will be taking some of our local super heroes shopping for tights. 1102 01:39:13,367 --> 01:39:16,534 He's a beautiful, big, bouncing baby boy! 1103 01:39:16,662 --> 01:39:19,449 Sixty pounds and four ounces. 1104 01:39:19,582 --> 01:39:22,155 Oh, he is beautiful. 1105 01:39:22,293 --> 01:39:25,413 He looks just like you! 1106 01:39:29,800 --> 01:39:31,709 - Toxie. - Oh, Ms. Wiener. 1107 01:39:31,844 --> 01:39:36,589 I just really wanted to thank you for saving me and my beautiful baby 1108 01:39:36,724 --> 01:39:41,137 - Laqueesha. - She looks just like her mother. 1109 01:39:42,271 --> 01:39:45,936 And I've also brought the special students in to thank you, too. 1110 01:39:46,067 --> 01:39:48,106 Come on in kids. 1111 01:39:49,612 --> 01:39:51,521 - Hey Sweetie. - Toxie, 1112 01:39:51,655 --> 01:39:54,775 We made this award for you cause you're an alumnus 1113 01:39:54,909 --> 01:39:58,112 of the Tromaville School for the Very Special, 1114 01:39:58,829 --> 01:40:01,201 and you're very special. 1115 01:40:01,332 --> 01:40:04,997 Wow. Thanks kids. 1116 01:40:05,127 --> 01:40:09,670 And Toxie, I want you to have the blanky for the baby, 1117 01:40:09,799 --> 01:40:13,298 cause I'm a very big girl now and I don't need it. 1118 01:40:13,427 --> 01:40:17,128 - Are you sure? - Just ask Sgt. Kabukiman. 1119 01:40:18,015 --> 01:40:19,842 Hey hey hey! 1120 01:40:19,975 --> 01:40:23,510 Hey! Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD, my best friend. How ya feelin'? 1121 01:40:23,646 --> 01:40:24,926 Not too bad. 1122 01:40:25,064 --> 01:40:28,231 Doctors say my arm and leg should be healed in a couple of weeks. 1123 01:40:28,359 --> 01:40:30,850 I just can't wait to get the stitches removed from my anus. 1124 01:40:30,986 --> 01:40:33,560 Anus anus anus anus anus anus! 1125 01:40:39,995 --> 01:40:41,703 Knock knock. 1126 01:40:41,831 --> 01:40:45,828 Pompey, you got a new body, you're just not a head anymore. 1127 01:40:45,960 --> 01:40:51,167 If we're talking about bodies, you have some body on you! 1128 01:40:51,298 --> 01:40:54,383 Now we could talk about head and all that stuff later, 1129 01:40:54,510 --> 01:40:57,262 but are you ready to meet your other new child? 1130 01:40:57,388 --> 01:40:59,048 Wait a minute, another child? 1131 01:40:59,181 --> 01:41:01,423 The evil baby! 1132 01:41:01,559 --> 01:41:05,343 I think a child is as much a product of his environment as anything. 1133 01:41:05,479 --> 01:41:08,266 And I think we have enough love to raise any kid as a good kid. 1134 01:41:08,399 --> 01:41:11,684 Well, if you think so, Melvin. 1135 01:41:11,819 --> 01:41:16,397 Yeah, a real American family for the new millennium. 1136 01:41:16,532 --> 01:41:18,074 Awesome! 1137 01:41:20,953 --> 01:41:22,946 Now let's take a peek. 1138 01:41:31,881 --> 01:41:33,505 What? 1139 01:41:38,679 --> 01:41:41,217 Hey, cute kid. 1140 01:41:42,850 --> 01:41:46,598 Toxie, Toxie, I can explain. 1141 01:41:46,729 --> 01:41:50,347 I was drunk, she was tied down. 1142 01:41:50,483 --> 01:41:52,142 I forgot to zip up. 1143 01:41:53,652 --> 01:41:55,645 Alright, later. 1144 01:42:17,009 --> 01:42:19,167 Due to the depletion of the ozone layer 1145 01:42:19,303 --> 01:42:22,636 and the careless dumping of hazardous nuclear waste 1146 01:42:22,765 --> 01:42:26,264 thousands of people find themselves trapped 1147 01:42:26,393 --> 01:42:30,936 in an evil parallel universe every year and the numbers are rising. 1148 01:42:40,616 --> 01:42:46,452 This film is respectfully dedicated to those who have lost their lives 1149 01:42:46,580 --> 01:42:49,996 facing down their own evil doppelgangers. 1150 01:42:58,259 --> 01:43:02,552 So if you find yourself thrust into an alternate reality 1151 01:43:02,680 --> 01:43:05,087 look to the horizon 1152 01:43:05,224 --> 01:43:09,056 one hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength 1153 01:43:09,186 --> 01:43:13,682 will be there yes, dear reader, he'll be there. 1154 01:43:13,816 --> 01:43:16,437 He's the Toxic Avenger. 1155 01:43:16,569 --> 01:43:20,352 And please don't forget to recycle your bottles and cans. 1156 01:48:38,390 --> 01:48:40,466 This just in Jesus out, Satan in. 1157 01:48:40,601 --> 01:48:44,219 - And I for one worship the dark lord - Really? - Yeah I do. 1158 01:48:44,354 --> 01:48:45,765 You guys get together and have worship? 1159 01:48:45,898 --> 01:48:48,567 We do. Actually this Sunday we're having a calf slaughtering 1160 01:48:48,692 --> 01:48:50,352 at the ninety second street Y, 1161 01:48:50,485 --> 01:48:53,356 and our very own Josh Levinsky will be running a cake walk 1162 01:48:53,488 --> 01:48:54,651 and then we're going to sacrifice him. 1163 01:48:54,781 --> 01:48:56,774 - Really? - Yeah. - That's amazing.85140