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1
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Previously on Weeds.
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I think I was a bad person.
3
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I don't want to be like that anymore.
4
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Okay. Good for you.
5
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No. Good for all of us.
6
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SEC? I've heard of you guys.
7
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Yeah, you guys have those federal pension
plans tied in with our Midday Fund.
8
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If we go down, you go down.
9
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- What are you girls doing?
- Packing up.
10
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Going home.
11
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Home? Why?
12
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Because they're getting back together.
13
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Did she say that?
She said you were going home?
14
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,750
You can't go. The girls can't go.
15
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:41,633
I no longer choose to
embrace all that you are, Jill.
16
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,340
You no longer have my fucking troth!
17
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,513
I'm not in college.
I'm in the Police Academy.
18
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We're criminals. It's the family business.
19
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,637
What the fuck are you doing?
20
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:50,968
I think I want to be a cop.
21
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,349
Red lines are people
who want you dead for revenge.
22
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As you can see, we're mostly red.
23
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She's so great at pissing people off.
24
00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:00,276
Think he'll come back,
try and finish what he started?
25
00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,275
I don't know. Hope so.
26
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,947
Give me a chance to nail the fucker.
27
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Morning! First day back on dry land?
28
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You need help, or you got it?
29
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,847
I got it. Thanks.
30
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Are you on roller skates?
31
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Yeah.
32
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:21,984
I'm coaching the twins' derby team.
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Their old coach left her family
for some Floridian fire dancer,
34
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so I'm stepping UP-
35
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,364
So, Stevie's playing with a flyswatter?
36
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:33,741
My idea. He's been off of video games
37
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for almost 27 minutes.
38
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Nice work. Hi, Stevie.
39
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There's one over there. He stole my wallet.
40
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Go get him.
41
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Shane left you this.
42
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Wow.
43
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And I got you
44
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:52,805
these.
45
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,725
Traction socks! So you don't slip.
46
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They say "Power Paws."
47
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I must have grabbed the dog ones. Well...
48
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I will return them.
49
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,480
Target gives you 30 days.
50
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:10,736
Oh, yeah. This is the receipt drawer now.
51
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,655
Hey! My garlic press!
52
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,236
You hungry?
Want me to make you something?
53
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,162
Eggs Florentine'? Osso Buco?
54
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Forget it.
Everything tastes like black licorice.
55
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:19,996
Still?
56
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,337
Bummers of the miracles of the brain.
57
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,050
Anyway, what else? What else?
58
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Your recovery foods are in the crisper.
59
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,302
It's mostly blueberries. WebMD.
60
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:41,973
I upped the satellite tier from Family Choice
to Family Choice Plus Optimum,
61
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the one with the tennis channel.
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Mommy, hold still.
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00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,651
Okay, go play-
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I think today I'll take by the TV,
maybe watch Wimbledon?
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00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,991
Thanks, Jill. This is all...
66
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,918
Good work.
67
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,496
You made nice.
68
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:09,799
Also,
69
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,837
Andy and I are at the room
at the top of the stairs.
70
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,343
In the same room together, the two of us.
71
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,640
Yeah. That's a thing.
72
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,343
That's us, outed.
73
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Nance? Do you hear me?
74
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Nance? Nance!
75
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:27,650
Mom?
76
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,612
Oh, shit.
77
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,485
I think the bullet's moving.
78
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,651
Where's Shane?
79
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,789
Unfortunately for my retirement,
80
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:45,085
shares of your hedge fund couldn't
buy me lunch with a dented hooker.
81
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,833
What are you talking about?
This is a healthy fund.
82
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,255
We're looking at emerging markets.
83
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Too many words.
84
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,755
Your fund's a sinking shit-stone.
85
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,091
Your shareholders might not be
able to add and subtract,
86
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,888
but this is the SEC,
87
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,432
so you cannot burn my toast
and tell me it's Jesus!
88
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,558
Plan A, you're fired, he's fired,
89
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,889
but we don't prosecute.
90
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,348
You sign the fund over to us,
91
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:09,901
we find new leadership
and sell 51 percent to China.
92
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:10,943
Plan B?
93
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,771
We all go down holding hands.
94
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,447
What kind of severance you offering?
95
00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:15,900
You can keep your dicks.
96
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:16,949
Where do I sign?
97
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,369
I gave 18 years to this place.
98
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:20,912
This is bullshit!
99
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,748
Yes, Whit. It is all caca bullshit.
100
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:24,996
Right, Melnick?
101
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,203
See, all my life,
I wanted to be one of the big boys.
102
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,622
Buffett, Icahn, Wilson.
103
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,503
And now here I am, top of the pyramid,
104
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,960
but what I thought was a game of finesse
turns out to be
105
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:39,640
one endless ass-to-mouth human centipede
of government and business
106
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:42,467
that's gonna suck this country
back to the stone age.
107
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,640
My lips are chapped. My asshole burns.
108
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,347
You want to sell our corpse
to Charlie Chan?
109
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,853
You be my guest. I'm out of the game.
110
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:50,980
You coming, Whit?
111
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,686
Dude, I'm renovating my kitchen!
112
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,396
Whit Tillerman.
113
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,731
Wait a minute! What...
114
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,033
No, no, no, we're good. We're good.
115
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,242
Chin up, Tillerman.
116
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,571
Nothing like a good cry after a tough shit.
117
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,200
What just happened? Did you just...
118
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,661
- Am I on food stamps?
- Fuck no.
119
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:11,838
You wait 30 seconds and then get your coat.
120
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:20,923
It looks like he Netflixed a docu-series
about these two surfers
121
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,850
who cut themselves
and then fuck underwater
122
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,269
in a cage surrounded by sharks
123
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,688
called Bloodfuckers.
124
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:33,860
Then he Google-mapped an address
in Pennsylvania Dutch Country.
125
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,029
Okay, okay. It's ringing.
126
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,493
Tell me what's going on already.
127
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,448
Your brother is going after the shooter.
128
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,493
The shooter who shot me, whoever that is.
129
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,123
Well,
130
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,625
at least he has training.
131
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:54,797
What?
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00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:59,465
He sort of joined the Police Academy.
133
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:04,050
Okay, everybody needs to stop keeping
things from me that I need to know.
134
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,554
I am not a cantaloupe.
135
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:09,684
My point is,
he has acquired some new skills.
136
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:11,940
What, like what'? Does he have a gun?
137
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,653
Tim Scottson. Isn't that Peter's kid?
138
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,773
You got to be kidding me.
139
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,485
Print that address.
140
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,115
You're driving.
141
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,493
Let's go, Witches!
142
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,535
Okay, ladies, friendly reminder.
143
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:35,752
Observe the oval, the egg, l'oeuf, love.
144
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,128
The French call the egg love, so shall we.
145
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,210
Embody that spirit. Keep it clean.
146
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,840
Elbows tucked.
147
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,342
A lot of moms out there.
148
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,798
Oh, come on!
149
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,350
Slit their throats and break their hearts!
150
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:51,889
Teamwork, heavy eye contact,
good judgment.
151
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,683
We want blood! Come on!
152
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:55,858
Is he drunk?
153
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:57,686
No. Just competitive.
154
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,361
- Jill.
- Scott.
155
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:00,980
Didn't think you'd be here.
156
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:04,568
Didn't think you'd fuck a guy
in the middle of my commitment pledge.
157
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:09,619
Our old coach had a wooden nickel
we could rub for good luck.
158
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:10,915
And then she resigned in shame.
159
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,334
Okay, bring it in.
160
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:15,083
Dap. Dap. Dap. Dap.
161
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,253
Dread Menace, looking at you
for some leadership.
162
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,505
You, too, Shay-la-Vie, AbracaDebra.
163
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,131
You shat on my troth.
164
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,968
It was a nice troth.
165
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:27,556
But you had your India.
166
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:29,384
Andy's my India.
167
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,060
And I'm sure he's a great lay,
168
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,642
but he's not stealing my kids.
169
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:34,894
Players to their marks.
170
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,441
Bring the pain! Let's go!
171
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Dread Menace!
172
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,003
That's my girl!
173
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,254
My hair tie!
174
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,257
Next time, I take your tampon!
175
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:06,509
- Coach!
- Yeah. Gotcha.
176
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:08,431
Take a seat, Dread Menace.
You're too rough.
177
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,601
You call that rough? That was a valentine.
178
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:16,436
Come on, coach! You can't bench the Dread!
Who's gonna block'?
179
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:20,439
Bad coaching decision!
Bad coaching decision!
180
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:22,858
Come on!
181
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,194
Take a seat.
182
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,447
Our old coach would have let her back in.
183
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,157
Fine.
184
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,830
Sit out your penalty.
I'll give you one more chance.
185
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,453
Yeah, that's my girl!
186
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,217
Nice!
187
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,802
Dread Menace!
188
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,179
Okay, now you're done.
189
00:09:56,971 --> 00:10:01,067
Tim Scottson, little red-headed twerp.
190
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,236
He wasn't even on my list.
191
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,904
- I had Guillermo.
- Guillermo. Guillermo.
192
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,777
I had Guillermo, too.
193
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,493
Hey, A&W Restaurant up ahead.
194
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:11,945
Root beer from the tap.
195
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,405
Yeah, we're not stopping.
196
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:14,740
Come on. It'll take 10 minutes.
197
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,667
Silas, your brother is
about to kill someone...
198
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:18,789
...else.
199
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,334
He's not gonna kill him.
200
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,164
Too smart for that.
201
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,045
Torture, maybe.
202
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,883
Medieval shit.
Spanish Donkey, Judas Cradle.
203
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:34,722
I'm just saying, maybe this kid
deserves 10 minutes with Shane.
204
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,141
He fucking shot you.
205
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:51,485
Well, the bad news is, we lost the bout.
206
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,784
The good news is
everyone gets half a donut.
207
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,082
You should've let her play.
208
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,831
Now we're under 500.
209
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,411
Good bye, playoffs.
210
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,746
Hello, failure.
211
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,339
It's just a game.
212
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,292
There are no games where we come from.
213
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,501
You come from Oakland.
214
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,462
We come from just south of Oakland!
215
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,722
Hell? Maybe you've heard of it?
216
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,091
Hey, hey. Who wants to hit the diner?
217
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,052
Enterprise upgraded me to a Sebring.
218
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,227
- shotgun!
- shotgun!
219
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:19,979
Mom, you coming?
220
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,271
Nah, I'm gonna hang back with Andy.
221
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,724
You guys go-
222
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,645
They're sweet.
223
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,822
You'll get them next time.
224
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:31,400
You're great with the girls. Really.
225
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:37,413
Our old coach made us popsicles
out of Hi-C fruit punch.
226
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,585
Was your mom the old coach?
227
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,008
- Hi.
- Hi.
228
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,434
Can I help you or...
229
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,224
Yeah, we're old friends of Tim's,
230
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:04,854
and we were just passing through
on our way to Gettysburg,
231
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,185
and we were just...
232
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:10,192
Is he here, Tim? Timmy? Timothy?
233
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:15,160
I'm afraid not,
but he should be back soon. I'm Tula.
234
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,703
- Nancy.
- Mike.
235
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,535
Do you... Do you guys want to come in?
236
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,870
I mean, he should be back
from work any minute.
237
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,452
I have water.
238
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:34,800
So...
239
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:39,092
What's that smell? Are you baking a pie?
240
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,636
I don't think so.
241
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,517
So, how did you two meet?
242
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:48,102
Well, he saved me from the rape barn,
back when it was still made of wood.
243
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:53,190
Did you see this? This was Tim's dad's.
244
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,900
Tim lost him at an early age.
245
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,739
So sorry to hear that.
246
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,038
Yeah. That'll mess a kid up.
247
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,915
I know. He's lucky he turned out so fine.
248
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,540
His mom, though, she's a psycho.
249
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,248
Tim sure has a lot of shoes.
250
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,417
Those aren't shoes. Those are his rabbits.
251
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,094
Well, they were when they were alive.
252
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,384
I told him they shouldn't
bake in the sun like that,
253
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,557
but, you know, he's not a listener.
254
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,181
There's 12. They're all named Peter.
255
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,471
Just don't pet them.
256
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,352
He... He doesn't like that.
257
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,646
He named them all Peter?
258
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,898
You know, like Peter the Rabbit?
259
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,318
Hold, please. Need rest.
260
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,695
Has anyone been around today?
261
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,072
Anyone at all? Someone named Shane?
262
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:43,448
Well, no. No, not that I can say.
263
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:48,795
Although one of Timothy's new friends
stopped by earlier
264
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:49,962
to go hunting with him.
265
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,506
I let him borrow Tim's gun.
266
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:54,546
That's weird.
267
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:57,761
That is weird.
268
00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,722
Tim's gun.
269
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,724
Tim's gun.
270
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,386
Project Runway.
271
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:09,141
Anyway, it's deer season
and he promised me the rib meat.
272
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:12,352
So, this guy that came by,
you don't know him at all?
273
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:17,483
Well, he just looked like
all of Tim's other non-albino friends.
274
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:21,035
You know, kind of shifty, quiet,
275
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,580
dead eyes, trustworthy.
276
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,875
I'm sorry. What time did you say it was?
277
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,999
It's strange. He should be home by now.
He's never late.
278
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,331
I think we should get going.
279
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,551
How did you say
that you knew Timothy again?
280
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,382
He shot her in the head.
281
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,713
Silas!
282
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,765
Tried to kill her two months ago.
283
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,932
Come on, Mom.
284
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,362
I don't know if I can do this anymore.
285
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,945
Where'd you say he worked again?
286
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,251
Sorry I benched you.
287
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,873
Sorry we lost.
288
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,421
What is this?
289
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,505
My mea culpa.
290
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:21,088
Limited-edition copy of roller girl
cinematic opus, Kansas City Bomber.
291
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,218
Turn it over, it's signed.
292
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,384
"Dear Taylor, follow your dreams,
be nice to Andy.
293
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,265
"He's not trying to replace your father.
294
00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,305
"Raquel Welch."
295
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,065
What? What's the matter?
296
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,226
I'm not Taylor. I'm Shayla.
297
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:37,895
No dreadlock.
298
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,481
Taylor's in the kitchen.
299
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:43,742
Wow.
300
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,029
You're both feeling kind of dark today, huh?
301
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,785
What you making there, number two?
302
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,250
I'm baking your shoes.
303
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,372
What?
304
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,125
When we lose, we burn your shoes.
305
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:58,424
- When we lose, we burn your shoes.
- When we lose, we burn your shoes.
306
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:01,594
Shit, shit! Shayla, where'd your mother
move the oven mitts to?
307
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,554
I'm not Shayla. I'm Taylor.
308
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,182
Well, who's who? I can't tell.
Who's the good twin?
309
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,265
I am.
310
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:16,192
Not cool! Not cool!
311
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,769
I have eight toes!
312
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,404
Footwear is super-selective for me!
313
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,364
Hey. Here's 50 bucks.
314
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,360
Take them to Claire's at the mall.
315
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,323
Buy them earrings or something.
316
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,950
Just buy their love.
317
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,829
You're Andy. You can do this.
318
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,374
Okay. I'm on it.
319
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,916
Six-inch or foot...
320
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,046
Long?
321
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,511
Just make me a sandwich.
322
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,554
You're supposed to tell her
about the specials, Timmy.
323
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,680
- You get a...
- Louder?
324
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,016
You're not going home
until you get this right.
325
00:16:56,557 --> 00:17:01,734
You get a free medium soda
if you buy any two flatbreads.
326
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,236
- What kind of meat?
- Doesn't matter.
327
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,993
Turkey. Can't taste anything anyway.
328
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,914
- Veggies'?
- Load me up.
329
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,082
Is that how we do lettuce, Scottson?
330
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,548
Cheese?
331
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,424
Whatever.
332
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:27,759
Avocado?
333
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:30,091
You're supposed to let them know
that's extra.
334
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,142
Will you shut up'? He's trying.
335
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:38,061
- Do you want the avocado?
- No, move on.
336
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,893
Light sauce or full flavor?
337
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,398
Surprise me.
338
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:50,404
That'll be $4.95.
339
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,793
Get in my car before I call your mother.
340
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,541
Come on, man, give me a hint.
341
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:06,753
Another hedge fund? Private equity?
Are we starting our own firm?
342
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:07,928
Nah, that's chump change.
343
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,847
You're thinking like a mouse.
Think like a king.
344
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,390
Hello, Mr. Doug.
345
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,557
Hola, Miguel.
346
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,101
It's Maria.
347
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,395
I don't know, man. I give up.
348
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,564
After you.
349
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,647
Push the red blinking light.
350
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:35,744
Hello. You have reached
the Douglas S. Wilson Foundation,
351
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:39,828
a 501-C-3 nonprofit organization.
352
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,214
We're starting a charity? That does what?
353
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:47,843
I don't know. But last week,
Vehement donated a buttload of money to it.
354
00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:49,929
Holy shit.
355
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:51,801
Charities?
356
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,133
Yes!
357
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:02,525
My brother took your gun and
we don't know where he is
358
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,187
and he's killed before.
359
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:11,029
So if I were you, I would keep your head
below the windows.
360
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,913
Shane? It's Mom!
361
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:22,169
Can we talk before you do
something incredibly stupid?
362
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,338
Hey, check this out.
363
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,883
Bitches be crazy, huh?
364
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,217
I need some air.
365
00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:46,735
Okay-
366
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,230
Why are you here?
367
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,486
I'm a sandwich artist.
368
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:55,490
You are a 19-year-old
from Agrestic, California.
369
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,786
You should be in college.
370
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,580
This is freak town.
371
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:02,251
What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be dead.
372
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,412
Or at least vegetative.
373
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,586
Yeah, well, I'm a walking miracle.
374
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,259
And I'm trying to protect you.
375
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:12,549
I can take care of myself.
376
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:14,847
My dad taught me independence.
377
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,219
Oh, no, wait.
378
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,766
He ended up in a drain pipe.
379
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:20,811
I heard that.
380
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,814
You know, I hope one day someone
gives you some fresh roses
381
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,141
and you sneeze
382
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,353
and the bullet in your brain moves
an eighth-inch to the right
383
00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:32,157
and you see blue and you smell cheese
and you die.
384
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:38,950
Your father was a complicated man.
385
00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:41,453
He was a hero.
386
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,209
I didn't even kill him.
387
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:46,208
It was the Armenians and Heylia.
Do your homework.
388
00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:48,631
You can't even say you're sorry!
389
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,043
What are you doing?
390
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:53,378
Get out of the car.
391
00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,634
No, that rifle has a half a mile range on it.
392
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,394
Okay. All right, all right.
393
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:06,186
Look, you need to fix your life.
394
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,851
It sucks you had to grow up without a dad,
395
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:12,313
but that is not an excuse
to act like a psychopath.
396
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,736
Are you listening, Shane?
397
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:17,944
Shooting me did not solve your problems.
398
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,825
Please! I have a girlfriend.
399
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:22,828
About that, I told her
about the assassination attempt.
400
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:25,751
She was pretty mad.
She might not be there anymore.
401
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:26,998
I need to get home.
402
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:28,750
You have to pay attention, okay?
403
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:31,673
I can't be responsible for
another messed-up kid.
404
00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,751
The door, please, open.
405
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,381
Bury the rabbits.
406
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:36,758
Pack up your car.
407
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:39,056
Stop fucking the Amish.
408
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:42,100
Become a nutritionist, okay?
409
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:43,519
These are my conditions.
410
00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:45,596
Then you can get back in the car,
411
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,727
we can talk about how to fix this, okay?
412
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,434
- Okay.
- All right.
413
00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:50,689
Can I borrow some gas money?
414
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:53,442
If you give me a hug.
415
00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:54,693
Bitch.
416
00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,281
Yeah, well.
417
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,580
- Andy!
- What the fuck are you doing?
418
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:13,378
What the fuck is he doing here?
419
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,131
You were supposed to take them to the mall!
420
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,383
Balls! Balls to the mall!
421
00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:20,556
- What's on your feet?
- Dog socks.
422
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:22,975
Textured socks for dogs.
423
00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:25,603
- Why?
- I'm supposed to return those!
424
00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:33,486
You won't even notice it,
sewing it right back in.
425
00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,063
What the heck you doing to my kid?
426
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:36,647
Please. She started it.
427
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:39,199
Don't cut my kid's hair. It's her hair.
428
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,403
What's with all the hostility?
429
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:43,362
Did you learn nothing in India?
430
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,164
- Scott!
- Dad, break his face!
431
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,332
Yeah! We want blood!
432
00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:48,534
No, we don't!
433
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:50,915
Come on, he's not gonna fight.
434
00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:53,293
L'oeuf. The egg.
435
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:54,919
The French egg.
436
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:01,718
Dad, make a fist!
Don't you know how to punch?
437
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,049
Andy, hit him in the face!
438
00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:04,634
No! No face!
439
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:06,890
- Fucker!
- You're slapping!
440
00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:08,846
Geez, Dad, you got sand in your pooter?
441
00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:11,057
- Hey! No pooter!
- Oh, God!
442
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,767
What are you doing?
443
00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:14,602
Don't throw.
444
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,692
- Hey, hey!
- We hate you both!
445
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:23,027
- Girls, I am trying, okay?
- You ungrateful little shits.
446
00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:24,862
- Yes, I admit it.
- You think the Sebring was for me?
447
00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,037
- I forged the signature...
- Wrong.
448
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:27,615
Do you think you're the reason
we're separated?
449
00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:29,917
- ...but come on. It's Raquel Welch.
- Guess what'? You're right.
450
00:23:29,992 --> 00:23:31,585
- What did you expect?
- But this divorce does not give you
451
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:34,539
- What am I to her? Like she'd respond
- the carte blanche to wear black eye shadow
452
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:37,375
- if I just put it in the regular mail.
- and give up your virginity to ethnics!
453
00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:39,381
You know what?
I'm glad he cut off that filthy little rat tail!
454
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:41,303
- Scott?
- I've been to Mumbai, just got back,
455
00:23:41,378 --> 00:23:44,723
and little girls over there are
selling their hair for money
456
00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:46,141
and then pooping in the river!
457
00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:47,388
Do you even hear what you're saying?
458
00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:50,017
No, you know what?
I'm not even close to done, Jill!
459
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:51,972
- You think we wanted twins?
- Scott!
460
00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:54,184
We wanted one kid, uno!
461
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,143
You know what I said
when I saw the sonogram?
462
00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:58,274
"Screw this. Let's abort and get a boat."
463
00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:01,532
I am saying very horrible things.
464
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:02,654
This isn't me.
465
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,452
Twins, I apologize.
466
00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:08,701
I gotta go back to Calcutta
and get away from all this crap.
467
00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:10,749
You'll hear from my lawyer, Jill.
468
00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:12,246
I'll be back in the fall.
469
00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:14,374
In the meantime, girls,
470
00:24:14,995 --> 00:24:16,542
listen to Andy.
471
00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:27,133
Go to your room.
472
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:33,188
She left us, Peter, Peter,
473
00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:36,233
Peter, Peter, Peter...
474
00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:40,104
You're welcome.
475
00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:43,487
Tim, pack up what you need
and go straight to California.
476
00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:45,533
Come on. No stopping.
477
00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:47,903
Did it hurt, getting shot?
478
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:49,788
I don't really remember, honey.
479
00:24:49,863 --> 00:24:51,615
I'm just trying to prepare myself.
480
00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:53,918
They have really good doctors now.
Come on. Let's go.
481
00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:58,373
Go in the bathroom.
Go in the bathroom! Go! Go! Go!
482
00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:02,255
Great, she took her fucking toothbrush.
483
00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:06,630
- Where is he?
- Shane?
484
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:10,059
Jesus, this place makes my shack
look like the Taj Mahal.
485
00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:12,720
Yeah, go ahead.
486
00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:15,476
Mr. Scottson, we have a warrant.
487
00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:17,274
The state of Connecticut
is placing you under arrest
488
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,397
for the attempted murder of Nancy Botwin.
489
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:22,070
This is Sergeant Jensen, OSPD,
arresting officer,
490
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:24,781
and Officer Thurgood Notgood,
local jurisdiction.
491
00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:27,485
He didn't do it. He didn't.
492
00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:28,990
He has an alibi.
493
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:30,195
Ask his girlfriend.
494
00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:33,078
He was baking his girlfriend a pie.
495
00:25:34,033 --> 00:25:36,456
We have the gun and the shell casings
and guess what?
496
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:38,754
The carpet matched the drapes.
497
00:25:38,829 --> 00:25:40,001
You found my pubic hair?
498
00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:42,671
I'm not pressing charges.
499
00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:45,503
Anything above manslaughter
goes straight to the DA. It's not your call.
500
00:25:45,586 --> 00:25:46,929
Ma'am, step aside, please.
501
00:25:48,422 --> 00:25:49,765
It's okay.
502
00:25:50,924 --> 00:25:52,426
Ma'am, please.
503
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,689
You have the right to remain silent.
You have the right to an attorney.
504
00:26:01,769 --> 00:26:05,444
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
505
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:08,776
These kids, they make one mistake,
and it follows them their whole lives.
506
00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:13,364
If you cannot afford an attorney,
one will be appointed for you.
507
00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:14,914
Hey.
508
00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:16,909
Smile, Mom.
509
00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:19,120
He's trying to impress you.
510
00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:08,469
What's with all the cops?
511
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,380
Drive, Larry. Drive!
36364
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