Original subtitles

Tu es prête?

Ça fait une éternité que j 'ai envie d 'aller voir le film qui passe cette

semaine. Tu es magnifique, Simone.

Merci, Charlie.

Il y a plutôt intérêt que personne n 'utilise son téléphone ce soir. Pas

la dernière fois.

Sinon, je perds de lui.

Non, mais quand on y pense bien.

J 'ai juste demandé au petit monsieur de mettre son téléphone en sourdine s 'il

ne voulait pas que je le mette lui en sourdine.

Remarque tout à fait raisonnable.

Je suis tellement ravie que je sois partie des gens qui ont grâce à tes

chérie.

And Fifi?

Oh, je suis vraiment désolée. J 'étais à des années lumières en écoutant Harry

Styles.

On va sortir, Tati, Fifi. Tu peux refermer le loquet derrière nous comme d

'habitude? Bien sûr.

Il ne me reste qu 'à terminer de nettoyer les toilettes et je finis.

On doit y aller.

Sinon, on va rater le début.

Ne vous inquiétez pas. Je fermerai à clé comme d 'habitude.

Merci, Tati Fifi. A tout à l 'heure.

Amusez -vous bien.

Au revoir, Fifi.

Oh, that was amazing.

No wonder there's no pattern left on that play.

Uncle Patrick has always been the king of the cock -o -pan.

So I'm guessing that he pre -prepared it so Judith and Jeremy don't have to go.

Exactly.

Where is Patrick?

He's gone to see Bruce Springsteen.

Oh, I thought you'd be hot on his heels.

I'm going next week. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Born to Run was the first album I ever learnt all the words to.

I can play Born to Run on my mouth organ.

What? You can play your mouth organ? I'd pay good money to see that.

Oh, yeah. I'm quite brilliant at it, actually. Which reminds me of my

dad joke.

A mouse goes into a music shop and says, do you sell mouth organs?

Do you know it?

And the shopkeeper says, that's weird. We had one of you a lot in here earlier

asking exactly the same question. Oh, says the mouse.

That must have been harmonica.

You do know it.

Right, well, I think I've got just about enough room for a pudding.

Oh, great idea.

I'll go and get the menus.

So, what other musical talents have you got hidden up your sleeve there?

Well, well, seeing as it's you, I am a master of

the spoons.

Shut it.

I think I'm brilliant

myself. Isn't that good?

Who on earth left that there?

Well, I'm so sorry.

I don't know where to put it.

Look, I think we'd better get you to A &E.

A &E?

What about Douglas?

Oh, well, we used to have a dog. We'll look after him. We know what we're

Are you sure?

There's the least we can do.

Come on, let's get you out of here.

He prefers coconut water to plain.

He's in safe hands with us, Gloria.

Watch that step. Oh, Glo.

Sit down, sit down, sit down.

Hello.

Hi, Charlie.

No, I'll be right there.

Okay.

There's been an incident at the shop.

I'm going to have to go.

All right. Well, I'll get Glo Swayne in. I'll give you a call, okay? I'm so

sorry, Glo.

Don't be daft.

I'll text you if they have to amputate.

Get me back.

Why on earth did you offer to look after that stinking dog?

You were the most wonderful mother to Tarquin, darling. I thought you'd be

too pleased to help.

Our Tarquin was a Kennel Club registered top pedigree toy poodle.

Also, you leaving that bucket out gives Gloria every reason to sue us, and I

don't want to give her one reason.

All right.

When Patrick gets back, we'll take it back to the chateau.

But if you do not get him on the furniture.

Who is on the stretcher?

Oh, Jean, let's hear it.

What on earth has happened?

We got back from the cinema and the front door of the shop was open.

Sissi was meant to lock up.

So we went inside, and Fifi was nowhere to be seen. The door to the bathroom, it

was locked, so Simone kicked it in.

As the door opened, this horrific smell came out.

And Aunt Fifi was lying on the floor.

We dragged her out.

And I closed the door immediately and called the police.

The forensic team strongly suspect the smell was a gas caused by bleach being

mixed with ammonia.

Mustard gas?

Precisely. And in an enclosed space?

Deadly. Oh, she didn't stand a chance.

It looks like a normal bottle of bathroom cleaner was replaced with pure

ammonia. So when the two products mixed together, it created the deadly gas.

So somebody changed the bottle and locked her in?

It would seem so.

We have a murderer on our hands.

You do know it's Thursday?

I am very well aware of that.

And you do know what Thursday means?

I do.

But unfortunately, you invited that hairy mutt to come and stay with us.

I'm going to have to burn these 800 -thread Egyptian cotton sheets.

I wouldn't have had to if you hadn't left the mop and bucket in the middle of

the floor.

I am not accustomed to domestic labour, Jeremy. I did my best.

Well, maybe your best wasn't good enough.

Darling.

How dare you?

I'm just stating facts.

Are you, indeed?

Well, one more fact from you, and you will be sleeping in one of the spare

tonight. On a Thursday?

Thank you very much.

You are very welcome.

Oh, no.

What's wrong?

Oh, this could be the end of it, Liz.

What do you mean?

If you choose the wrong sauce for your bacon roll.

Hey,

hey, hey.

This is no laughing matter, Missy.

I'm going to judge you very harshly if you choose the wrong one. Are you now?

Oh, okay, okay. Let's just rip the plaster off, shall we?

Right, on the count of three, you grab the bottle you want.

One, two, three.

Yes!

Well, it's red sauce for bacon and brown sauce for sausage. Obvs. Obvs?

You are very lovely, Jean White.

You're not so bad yourself, Dominic Hayes.

Who's that?

Oh, don't worry, I'll get rid of him.

The police only let us back in our flat after midnight.

I can still smell it.

Oh, Charlie, I didn't think... I hardly slept a wink.

I'm so sorry. You could have stayed here. Do you have any coffee? And not

English stuff in the jar.

Yeah, I do.

Ah,

good morning, Dom.

Oh, hi, Charlie.

Have a little unblocking this thing for Jane.

Yes, that's on my dining outside.

You're here early, no?

Yes, well, you know me. Love an early morning.

I see.

Bet you've not eaten either, have you?

Go on, help yourself.

Thank you, Jim.

No sauce.

I cannot believe...

Fifi was such a wonderful woman.

Yes, she was great.

Was she your mum's best friend or your dad's?

Oh, neither.

She used to be my mum's best friend.

Unfortunately, my parents threw me out when I was 17 after I introduced my

girlfriend to them.

I see.

Fifi and her husband, Brian, they took me in for a while and we always kept in

touch. I heard that she was doing a bit of cleaning in her retirement and that's

why she works for us.

Worked for us.

Good

morning,

Carol.

Charlie's here.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Hang on.

Carol needs to talk to you, Charlie.

He needs you to go with him to Fifi's house, because... Er...

Caroline, we will both be seeing you

shortly.

OK, bye.

Thank you, Jean.

Are you all finished here now?

Yes, yes. No, that's all clear now. I'd better get back to work. I don't need

that.

Yep.

Well, thank you. Thank you very much, Dom.

Bye.

Swags be had, buddies.

How did I forget to shut that?

Douglas!

Do it.

Do it.

Wake up!

What on earth are you doing?

The dogs.

Escaped? What?

I must have made a break for it in the middle of the night. He's not in prison,

Jeremy.

It's Gloria.

What shall I do?

Don't say a word. Tell her I've taken him for a walk.

Hello, Gloria.

Hiya. Oh, I like your blouse.

It's PJ's, actually, but thank you.

Oh, you're loving a lion.

Sorry?

How are you? Gloria. Oh, it's just this brain. I've got to keep up it for 24

hours. How's my baby?

Has he been a good boy?

Can you bring him to the phone?

Uh, Jeremy has just taken him for a lovely early morning walk in the fields

behind the shadow.

Oh, thank you so much. Sorry, Gloria, I've got another call coming in. Speak

later.

understand. She was such a lovely lady.

How long have you been neighbours?

I was renting the house next door from her for, uh, six years.

She used to feed my cat when I was at work.

I teach history at the local lycée.

And she cleaned for me every week.

She was obsessed with cleaning when I lived with her, too.

I am her niece, Charlie.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

I'll take a look around.

Did Fifi have any family?

Her husband, Brian, died ten years ago. She had a half -sister, Ines, who she

doesn't speak to.

Why? It was her husband, Alan, who set a rot between them. And I totally

understand why Alan could... How do you say, Jean?

Start a fight in an empty room?

I used to deal with him now and then because him and Brian had a small

house in Biarritz.

But me and Alan...

We never saw eye to eye, so... So what happened between them?

One night, Brian insisted that Alan try to steal something from them in their

own house when they came here for dinner.

What did they try to steal?

I have no idea.

It was like a bomb going off in the family.

Alan denied it, and that was that.

The auction house goes down, and they never spoke to each other again.

Brian has long gone, and she has lived here all alone ever since.

Do you know where the sister and her husband live?

I do, if they are still in the same place.

Can you write it down for me?

Of course, not a problem.

Thank you.

Do you know of anyone who would want to kill Fifi?

No. She was so loved.

Everybody adored her.

And she didn't have much, just these little old houses, her state pension and

her cleaning money.

And I don't believe our little old houses are worth killing for.

Oh, I didn't mean to cause offense. I mean, they are very sweet, those houses.

Maybe it's what's in the house that's worth killing for.

Charlie, come and have a look at this.

What do you think that is?

Oh, mon dieu.

I don't believe it. What is it?

I think it's a bowl from the Chang Long dynasty in 1745.

What does that mean?

Approximately 50 ,000 euros.

What? And I'm starting to think that Louise Moyon that props up in the hall

real too.

And what else is in this little old house?

Wow.

To be honest, I didn't visit her here much since I was a teenager, as I always

saw her in the shop, but still.

And there is only one living relative?

Yes. I think we need to ask Fifi's sister Inez and her husband Alan a few

questions.

Richard, you and I will pay them a visit.

Jean, I think you and Charlie should stay here and see what else you can

Oh, yeah, no problem.

We might need to ask you some further questions, but for now, thank you for

help. My pleasure.

Can I make you a drink?

Oh! Yes, please, that'd be lovely.

Yes, the geometric process of energy exchange that would form what we see and

feel as the passing of time.

Sorry about that.

Need to make a quick emergency phone call.

I feel grateful.

Imagine someone losing Aunt Tarquin while they were dog -sitting.

We would have never forgiven them.

Tarquin would never have run away. What kind of dog runs away from a shatter and

a Wedgwood water bowl?

Well, what's that got to do... Dominic.

Oh, that's great news.

Dominic's found Douglas running in the fields.

I told you, the dog is a moron.

Where are you?

Right... We're on our way.

Come on.

There is never an easy way to break bad news.

But I'm afraid I have to tell you that your sister, Madame Fifi Page, was found

dead last night.

How did she die?

We suspect she was murdered.

Oh, my goodness.

Must be a great shock.

Even though she was my half -sister, she has been dead to me for years.

We have heard that you don't speak.

We were told it was because you were accused of stealing from her house.

Oh, I suppose that was from her pretend niece, Charlie.

To be expected, I suppose we never got on.

Well, it was never us that was doing the stealing.

Pardon? Our license was threatened to be revoked from the auction house because

too many items over the years had accidentally been misplaced.

You suspected Mr. Page was stealing items?

Well, very slowly, maybe one or two a year. Brian blames the

security I hired, but I knew they all were as...

Honest as the day is long, people started losing faith in us.

And it wasn't just little things.

Really expensive items disappeared. I did start to suspect Brian, but he

his tracks so well. So when we were at his house for dinner one night, I took

opportunity to explore.

After a search, I found two of the missing items and...

And I confronted him.

He became enraged.

He said if Alain said anything, he would bring all four of us down with him.

We left and never spoke to him again.

I can clear my name at last.

Where were you last night at 5 p .m.? We were both here at home.

And you only have each other as an alibi?

We will be in touch.

Is that a Grand Teddy Tea Room painting?

Edouard Vuillard, when... I thought the third one was lost forever.

Moi aussi.

Where was that hidden?

Behind the wardrobe in the cell room.

How much is this worth?

Oh, um, ballpark, between 200 ,000, 300 ,000 euro.

Oh, dear.

Well, you two really know your stuff. That's very impressive. Did you study

antiques? My PhD is in French warfare, so if you ever need an expert on that,

give me a call. Oh, thank you. I will.

So, what's the tally now, Charlie?

Uh, with the paintings, the console table, the Ackman's The Rocks at 1760,

was rolled up under the bed in the stair room. I don't forget the Louise Moyon.

Um, almost two million euros.

Wow. I honestly can't believe it. I had no idea. Where did it all come from?

Hello?

Charlie,

are you okay?

That was Fifi's solicitor.

Go on.

She has left everything to me.

Ines has been written out of the will.

But we need something stronger than this.

Come next door.

Okay. I need to tell Simone.

Yeah. Okay.

Oh, I didn't know how much I needed that. Thank you. Oh, my pleasure.

Oh, please.

Hello, Carol.

Yes. Okay, I'm just going to take this. Yes, yes, of course.

I had no idea how much I meant to her.

Sometimes I think it's the quality or the quantity of time we spend with

that makes the greatest impact.

She once knitted me a complete nativity set for Cologne.

Really? Mary Joseph Delotte.

I mean, the kings were a little unusual, but she did an amazing job with the

sheep.

She was quite the character.

She never got over losing Brian. They were real soulmates.

So in love.

Fantastic place you've got here, Pierre.

I bet those glass bottles are not from Ikea.

No. My grandmother, she makes the most amazing, how do you say, pickle.

I never had the heart to throw them away.

That would go on.

In there, there's something about Brian.

Can we just sit next door?

It's time for you to come home, baby.

Douglas!

Douglas!

Douglas, where are you, you fool?

Oh, it's Gloria.

She said she's ready to have Douglas home.

Tell her we are having the time of our lives.

And we would like to keep him a while longer.

Help! Oh, darling!

I suppose it's a consolation that Fifi never got to know that Brian was a

She didn't have a clue about antiques.

All this stuff will have to be returned to its rightful owner, of course.

Of course. I don't want to inherit stolen goods. It's bad karma.

Right. I'm going to have one last sweep around, and then we'll call it a day.

Okay. Simone should have been here by now. We will give you a lift home.

Ah,

ma chérie.

Right. I'll put the kettle on.

What the hell?

Alan?

Can't you just live in the wild?

It's a dog, darling.

There are dogs that live in the wild. Not Gloria's dog. It drinks bloody

water.

Look.

Over there.

Don't move, Douglas.

Stay.

Stay. Stay.

Oh, we're so relieved to see you, boy.

Look at him.

Not the tiniest bit of remorse for what he's put us through.

Come along, Douglas. Come on. Time to go home. There we go.

I've only been home.

Come along.

When you found out about the will and you attacked Charlie, she's my dear

friend, my business partner, and she certainly does not deserve that.

Fifi left me no choice, did she?

When we heard about Ines being written out of Fifi's will and everything being

left to your friend, I just saw red.

It was the last straw.

I knew she would be at Fifi's house looking at her winning, so I thought I

pay her a visit.

It was nothing personal to your friend.

She just wanted to have it. She's not even blood.

Well, your methods of attack have certainly changed in 24 hours, I will

that. I did not kill Fifi.

So you did not replace her detergent with pure ammonia?

I had absolutely no idea what you were talking about. I think you and your wife

went to the shop yesterday, swapped her cleaning bottles, locked her in the

bathroom and left her to die from the gas.

I did not even know how she died. And me and my wife

were somewhere else at that time.

Ah, yes.

At home. With no one to confirm this.

We can, actually.

Go on.

We were at the Bureau de Porte. Doing what?

Cashing a cheque.

What cheque?

Brian's employee pension cheque.

You were cashing a dead man's pension cheque?

So you never told them that he died?

For ten years.

Won't you let him know?

How did Fifi not know?

It was a company pension me and Brian took out. Fifi didn't have to know.

It wasn't yours.

He left us in poverty.

What were we supposed to do?

We were there at 5 p .m. like we are every Wednesday. You can check with the

Bureau de Post.

Will I be able to claim back my house missing stock?

Sorry?

Our joint company paid for the stock.

Half of what it is worth is mine.

The stolen goods will be returned and the insurance companies will be

I also have to remind you that pension theft is fraud.

It carries a hefty fine and...

sometimes a custodial sentence.

Not to mention the assault on an innocent woman.

All for the court to decide.

Well, if Alan's alibi checks out, then we're right back at the beginning as to

who killed Citi.

It would seem so.

I just got your message. Are you OK?

Dominique?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I didn't even know what was going on. I mean, poor old

Charlie, though.

You sure?

Yeah.

Yeah, you can, um, let go of me hands now.

Oh, sorry, sorry.

Um, do you mind giving me a lift back to Fifi's? I really want to finish the

inventory for Charlie.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, no, yeah, I find that, yeah.

I've said it many times over the years, Mrs. Lloyd -James.

We make quite the team.

I want a hot shower, and I need to call my hairdresser.

I think you look rather windswept and interesting.

Jeremy, get me home.

Yes, of course, darling.

Charlie, I'm so glad you're OK.

Is Simone with you?

Good.

I'm here now.

No, it's OK.

Dom's with me.

Yeah.

Oh, OK.

Yep.

Yep. I'll see you later.

OK, bye.

Blimey. So Charlie's a very rich woman now, then.

Oh, she's not, actually. She's got to give it all back.

And what I wouldn't have done to give my hand... Oh, no.

He's escaped again.

What?

No good trying to get away, mate.

You've been caught red -pawed.

Douglas?

Douglas,

I think you've found yourself a truffle.

But those glass bottles are not from Ikea.

Oh, my goodness.

I knew they weren't pickle jars.

Right. Right, come on.

Let's get you home. Come on.

Yeah. You going to be okay?

Yeah, fine. I'll see you later.

The thing is, Jean. What?

Well, I don't want to leave you after what happened earlier.

I was really scared.

What are you on about?

I'll be fine.

Well, when you put it like that.

Well, go on. I'll speak to you if I need anything.

A regular little truffle factory.

Good grief.

Must have guessed.

You shouldn't be in here.

I was just looking around Fifi's and... This is not Fifi's shed, is it?

It's yours in your shared garden.

Exactly.

And you've been preserving very expensive truffles in very expensive

Yes.

Well done.

And I'm starting to think I'm not the first person to have worked this out.

I've had my lovely little job for two years now.

Nearly have enough for a deposit for my house.

And Fifi discovered your secret?

Yes. That meddling old girl worked out what was going on.

She recognized my green jars were for preserving truffles.

What, and you actually killed her for it?

Well, she wanted 60%. These are Perigord black truffles.

There was maybe 1 ,000 euros per kilo.

She said if I didn't agree, she was going to evict me.

I'm sorry, but she had to go.

So you wouldn't have given her all her percentage?

What?

Well, the shed is on her land. We have the land!

She agreed that I could use her shed.

She said it would be my own private place. She didn't even come in here. It

her husband's place. She agreed.

But oh, no.

When she realized there was money to be made, she wanted what I had worked so

hard to build.

Yes, but that was very unfair, very unfair.

Exactly.

It really was very unfair.

And do you know what, Jean? I tried so hard to be kind.

Of course I did.

I even paid her to clean my house.

She never stopped cleaning.

It's hilarious, huh? The irony, the thing that you love the most ends up

the thing that kills you.

Because, of course, you know, she always used to clean in the same old

-fashioned planet -killing way. First a ton of bleach, then a lot of detergent.

Oh, it drove me mad.

I'm sure.

So that's where you got the idea of how to kill her.

Every time she left my house, it stank of... Bleach.

I was going to put some in her coffee, so she choked on it, but it seemed too

obvious.

And then it came to me.

I was preparing a new module for my students about the Battle of Ypres in

War I. Did you know the Battle of Ypres was the first time the Germans used

mustard gas?

A simple mixture of bleach and ammonia.

My little idea started forming.

That, of course, your shop was the perfect location. She would be alone in

enclosed space at the same time every week, cleaning in her same old

way.

So thank you for that.

But now, of course, now that you know that, you will have to die in the same

way.

I'm here. I'm here.

I'm here. I'm here.

You were very lucky, Jean.

That scarf saved your life.

Pierre has not fared well from this at all.

Yeah, thank God my granny always told me to carry something if it got cold.

And if you hadn't got them out, Dom... Yeah.

Why did you come back?

It was him.

Houdini escaped again. Came back to finish sniffing the truffles.

Well, I owe you one, see you then, Douglas.

I'd better get back.

Have you been checked out by the paramedics?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Good. Take your time, but as you know, you will all need to be interviewed and

make a statement.

Maybe not you.

Did he just crack a fairly funny joke?

I'm not sure.

You can come and see it.

It has been a bit of a day.

You can say that again.

Don't.

Imagine getting on with your day not realising you were sat on millions.

Literally. You know that battered old chair in the lounge?

That was an actual Louis Margarelle.

Art Nouveau worth about 20 ,000 euros.

Shocking.

Thank you for today.

You actually saved me life.

Don't say like that.

Yeah, but you did.

Yes, and I'm very glad that I did.

But I learned something very important today about you, Jean White.

What's that, Dominic Hayes?

That I should never, ever, ever listen to a single word you say again.

Now, where would you have been right now if I hadn't have come back?

Have you gone, she says. I'll be absolutely fine, she says.

Is he telling another dad joke?

Hello, Chloe.

Hello, love. Are you feeling better? Yeah, I can walk. Oh, it's a miracle.

Oh, hello, furry ponchos.

Oh, I have missed you.

Oh, thanks, you two.

Has he been a good boy?

Absolutely no problem at all.

Pleasant utter joy.

Hey, it's brilliant you got on so well.

Me dog sister's just moved town, so I'll be calling on you two now if I need him

looking after. How lovely.

Would be our pleasure.

Thanks. I'll have a white wine.

On the house.

I'll never know.

Hurry up and come back to bed.

Bee, you've woken him up too now, you rascal.

Douglas, Douglas, Douglas, come here, you little...

No problem. I was on my way home from a job anyway.

Oh,

love. How are you doing?

Oh, Gene, it was awful.

I let Douglas out this morning and he just ran off into the field.

When I followed, I saw a man lying there with a sword sticking out of him. A

sword? Yeah.

It was horrible.

I bet it was.

It's the lady that found it.

Oh, I know.

Is Cooper here?

Yeah, he's making coffee.

Come on, let's get you in, if that's all right. Of course.

Do you need a lift anywhere?

Sorry? Oh, it's okay, I'm a taxi driver.

Oh.

No, thank you. I think I need the walk to clear my head.

Jean, May I have a word? Yeah, of course.

Richard, make sure she's okay.

The shot can take you by surprise.

Oh, this fencing foil was found in the hand of the deceased man.

Well, I think that's actually an épée de combat, circa 19th century.

Yeah.

It's also solid silver.

A matching one was sticking out of his chest.

Well, the end has been sharpened.

Also, he was wearing this.

Well,

they're not fake.

Those are real diamonds.

And what's more, I think...

That might be Cartier.

No, but the other one is missing.

That's interesting.

Can I have a look at the other epi? I think that might be more appropriate

at the station.

Yes, of course, of course.

Yep.

Keep it with love.

You all right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, that's not nice when you're made so excited.

No. Look, I've got the pop -up expectation we'd carry on if you wanted

at something.

of that night drive, so I'm going to nip the lacquer on. Get a bit of breakfast.

Don't get me a doubt, brother.

I'll see you later. Yeah, you will.

Is everything okay in there?

It's dumb.

Light!

What's going on?

Last night, we got a cryptic message from Selene saying that they just can't

on. But we only picked up the message this morning fearing the worst. We

down here immediately.

So where's Niall and Selene, then?

Looks like their finances got worse.

And they had to do a midnight flit back to Ireland.

Their finances got worse.

Do you remember when Niall's mother visited a couple of years ago and there

all that palaver with her gambling in the pub?

Yeah. They nearly lost their licence, didn't they? Yeah, we didn't stop there.

They were forever bailing his mother out of her gambling debts.

They were so short of money a couple of years ago that we... Bought.

Lacquer on from them. We couldn't bear the thought of it going under. We kept

very hush -hush, of course.

Niall is a very proud man.

Didn't want to bring shame on his mother.

Blimey. You kept that very quiet, didn't you?

Well, I hope they're all right.

You know, I often wondered why you two never paid for a drink.

Dominic, we need your help.

Lacquer on is the beating heart of our community.

We have to keep her alive.

We also have this very important reception for the new mayor this

personally offered her the part.

Look, I am more than happy to help in any way I can. Oh, thank you, Dominic.

But, but, but, I have just done a five -hour round -trip through the night, so

am exhausted.

But, you know, I promise to help get a plan together later.

Oh, we knew we could rely on you.

Oh, thanks, old chap. Oh, you are so wonderful.

Yeah.

I hope I'm still driving when I'm nearly 80 years old. If you drive anything

like my granddad, I am not going to be a passenger.

Now, Georges Allaire was a bit of a gangster in his younger days.

Gangster? Yes. Back in the 70s, he ran a notorious street gang in Paris.

Well, if this cufflink is Cartier,

well, on its own...

It's worth between €10 ,000 and €15 ,000.

Why is it so expensive?

It's the name, Cartier.

They're renowned for working with platinum before anybody else was.

Platinum was rarely used in jewellery until the late 19th century.

Why? It's not as malleable as gold. It's a very difficult metal to work with.

Would these cufflinks be desirable?

They're called the right boxes.

Superbly made, very pretty.

Enough to get the dealers excited.

A motive for murder?

Well, if somebody wanted to complete their collection, I wouldn't rule it

Well, nothing on the local police database for stolen swords or coffins.

Now, Cartier always issue a certificate of authentication.

So maybe when you search his house, it'll reveal something.

Hey.

Did you enjoy your breakfast?

I haven't had any yet.

It's all going up in there.

Do you mean?

Niall and Flynn have done a midnight blitz.

Financial worries, apparently.

I know. Are they all right?

I don't know. And get this.

Jeremy and Judith have owned the pub for the last few years.

Really? Yes.

Is that why they've never paid for a drink? That's exactly what I said.

Oh.

Look, you can have some at breakfast at the shop if you want. I can have you

your croissant.

Yeah, go on then. I'm starving.

You all right?

Oh, Julie's in a state of doom for the new mayor.

Bonjour, Charlie.

Hiya, love.

I've been teaching Charlie how to be northern, and she's been teaching me how

be French. Oh, have you now? Coffee and croissants coming up.

You'll do for me.

See?

That teapot looks like a bit of a tricky pourer.

This is a French Regency chocolate pot.

Oh. Is that made out of chocolate?

That's what my mother always used to say to me.

Hey, mine too.

Seriously? Yeah.

We have something in common, finally.

Yeah, sarcastic mums. Who'd have guessed that?

Simone's coming through with a croissant.

I thought it was pewter. I couldn't see the hallmarks because of the tarnishing,

but... After a clean, it turns out to be fever.

Oh, no flay. Oh, talk of hallmarks.

What do you make of this?

Now, I think it's Cartier, but there's something that's not quite right.

Yes, I know what you mean.

What is it?

What are we looking at?

Oh.

Where did you take this picture?

Do you recognize it? I said, where did you take this picture? What's wrong,

Simone?

I made this copy for someone a few years ago.

You made that?

Cassie said it was a five -year waiting list. The client didn't want to wait, so

I copied them.

Good grief, Simone.

You are some talent.

Merci.

Who did you make it for?

I really don't want to say.

Simone, this cufflink, your copy, was found on the shirt of a man

who'd been murdered.

You have to tell us.

You must swear that you will not tell him it was me who told you. Of course

He's a British man.

His name is John Marston.

Do you know where he lives?

He's one of the most dangerous men in France.

If he knew I had given you his home address, there is no telling what he

do.

Simone, a man has been killed.

I'm not happy about this.

You're very unpredictable.

Watch yourself.

Thank you, Simone.

Right, come on, let's go.

Really?

Do you think this is a good idea, or do you think we should call Caron?

Caron will tell us not to go.

Yes, exactly.

Please, Dom.

Come on, then.

Wonderful. I mean, look at all those lovely silver utensils.

Darling, they're tools.

You know, wrenches and ratchets and stuff.

Jeremy, you sound all Bruce Springsteen. How macho.

Oh, hello, you two.

Oh, hello, Gloria. I don't know if you've heard what's happened at the pub.

Yeah, Dom rang me. I hope now and Selina are OK.

Yes. It's a very unfortunate business.

But the show must go on. We've got a very important party booked in this

afternoon, and we desperately don't want to disappoint them. So we were

wondering if we could use your van to pick up some supplies from the

hypermarché. Of course. Anything I can do to help.

Thank you.

Ace. I used to work as a barmaid.

Oh, really?

Yeah, the bar job for years.

Everyone up north did.

How quaint.

I even worked in a fun pub, dancing on the bar.

be too much to ask if we could borrow you as well for a couple of hours.

What, to dance on the bar?

No, of course not.

No, to talk us through things.

Uh, yeah.

Tremendous. Can we go now?

Oh, uh, all right then. Give me five minutes, I'll get changed.

Are you sure it's a good idea to question this bloke without Carol? I

sounds well dodgy.

It's an antiques -based inquiry, Dom.

I'm saving him time.

Hmm.

will look nice in the pub's garden, won't it, darling? You can't even tell

flowers are fake, so I can't kill them.

Keeping plants alive is not your forte, my love.

You have to leave room for some stock.

Mix the lemons and stuff. Oh, don't worry. You can just balance them on top.

I'm not sure that's... Caviar by the kilo, darling.

Oh, how wonderful. We should dock up. Come and check on the essentials.

That's exactly what we are doing.

He needs to get some bath snacks.

Look, that's what the caviar is for.

No, crisps.

Pork scratchings.

Scampi fries.

Scampi what?

Have you never had a scampi fry?

I've had langoustine.

Right.

I am going to change your life.

Follow me.

Look, darlings, tell me who sent you to this address or you both die now.

I'm not kidding, sweeties.

Oh.

Simone. Simone the copier.

Simone?

Oh, I love Simone.

Well, she's no harm. Last I heard, though, she was banged up, which is a

cos she's a belting copier.

Posey, what's the harm, Monsieur?

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

And where's that accent from?

Manchester.

And I reckon yours is from Gorton.

Fancy someone knowing where Gorton is so far from home. My mum still lives

there. I'm John Marsden. Pleased to meet you. Oh, Jean White.

My mum lives down the road in Reddish. You're joking.

Yeah, past the Oldwood pub.

I used to undress drinking there, where it all began.

And where are you from?

Dog.

Great. So how can I help you, Jean White?

Well, I think it's us that can help you.

Oh!

I'm just...

I'm just getting my phone out of my bag. Oh, it's fine. Automatic reaction.

Does this belong to you?

Angle, let me get my specs.

These belong to Dr. Crippen, apparently.

I had to get the lenses changed, obviously.

But weird and wonderful artefacts. They're a passion of mine.

That's supposedly the news from the last UK public hanging in 1868.

But it's John Marsden telling the truth.

Right, what we're looking at.

Oh, yeah, they're definitely mine.

Simone did a great job on them.

Cartier said there was a five -year waiting list, but I saw them in vogue

simply had to have them for a Christmas too. I was going to.

This was found in possession of a man called Georges Allaire.

Do you know him?

Oh, that old cretin.

He worked for me for years till I sacked him.

He obviously took a souvenir with him, the cheeky monkey.

He was found dead this morning.

Oh, I see.

And you think I had something to do with that?

Trust me, Jean, if I did, you would never know.

Right, however lovely it is to have unexpected guests, you two should leave

and thank your lucky stars that Jean's mum lives down the road from mine.

Otherwise, you'd be leaving in a box.

See you, love.

You did what?

It was about the cufflink.

I thought I was saving time.

I would not go near John Marston's house without a warrant, armed guards and a

team of lawyers. He is a very dangerous man.

We're very aware of that.

You could have been killed.

Yeah, we're very aware of that too.

And who do you think would be responsible if anything happened to

Me. How dare you put me in that situation? I thought we respected each

Of course we do.

Of course, yeah.

Your actions tell me differently.

The swords were on loan to the Saint -Victor Museum.

They were stolen in transit on their way back to Paris months ago. That's why

there was nothing on the local police database.

Thank you.

I also did a little digging.

Georges Allaire and his accomplice, David Monroe, they were recognized in

photographs by the driver.

And then what happened? They were both put in a lineup.

David was picked out, but Georges played his little old man routine.

The driver lost confidence and would not commit to a positive identification.

I presume David stayed loyal to George. Don't they always?

Very good work, Richard.

Thank you, sir.

Now, you must both promise me you will never put me in that position again.

No, of course not. I'm really sorry, really sorry, really sorry.

Now, will you come to the museum with me?

Well, you never have to ask twice when there's a museum involved.

You all right?

Gloria wants me to meet her at Le Caron urgently.

She's written it in caps of letters with an angry face emoji.

Oh, oh.

I'd better go.

Yeah.

Mia.

I thought you'd text. Are you OK?

Oh, am I pleased to see you.

What's so urgent?

It's Jeremy and Judith. They're driving me mad. You've got to help me. Oh, no,

no, no, no.

I had a summer job slicing lemons in a holiday camp once. Reeked having me with

paper cuts.

I only offered him a lift to the cash and carry.

Why are you behind the bar?

The new mayor is having a celebration here for a staff later, and Judith is

insisting on going through with it. Oh, sorry, I'll ask again. Why are you

behind the bar?

They needed help.

You're too kind, you glow.

Kind or gullible. You need to learn how to say no. Put your foot down.

Gloria, I did it wrong again.

Oh, Judith, how many times do I have to show you how to change a barrel?

Don't think my hands are as masculine as yours.

Oh, Dominic, thank you for coming to help. You can take over from Gloria.

It's so good of you.

No, no, I've got to get a bit... I really don't know what we would do

our friends.

All right.

Put me foot down, eh?

When life gives you lemons.

All these stories in one place.

Pardon?

But I believe that every object carries its own history and energy. It's very

busy in here.

Energy.

I know it sounds daft, but I've got this mixing bowl that my gran gave me.

And every time I use it for baking, everything turns out better.

It's like it retains her energy.

Since I lost my wife, every possession in our home retains a

memory.

It's okay, Carol.

It's only me.

So, do those possessions offer any comfort?

Sometimes, but not always.

Do you know what, Carol?

I think you should have a clear out.

And if you need a hand, I'd be happy to help.

I became quite the expert at letting go when Rory died.

Thank you, Jane.

Monsieur Caron? Oh.

Here is an inventory of everything that was stolen from the ambushed van.

Thank you.

And the swords were definitely loaded onto the van. Of course.

They had been on loan from Paris and they were due to be returned.

Did you see anyone suspicious in the museum that day?

Not that I can remember.

To get to the loading bay, you'd need one of these.

Very good.

Thank you for your assistance.

Pleasure. Can I keep this? Of course.

Thank you.

What the hell?

I've never seen that theodolite before.

Theodolite? Yeah, it's here on the inventory. It's the instrument for

vertical and horizontal angles.

This one's particularly exquisite.

I

know

where I've seen it.

Where?

Marsden's house.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

But it's obvious.

A lair must have done the museum job for Marsden.

When he was sacked, he must have helped himself to the cufflinks.

And Marsden killed him for it. With his own loot. The swords.

We need to get Monsieur Marsden in for questioning.

I know.

I suggest you make yourself scarce.

Of course.

If he even has a whiff of your environment, your life would be in

You have to change the other barrel as well. You've got to learn to do it

yourself, Judith.

But you're the mechanic.

What's going on? Jeremy and Judith have got this due on for the mayor, so we're

all pitching in.

Oh, no, the volleyball.

I've not had a volleyball since 1984.

Do you need a hand?

Oh, please, love.

Judith!

You know what you're doing back there?

Yeah, I've been coming.

Ne regarde dans les yeux d 'aucune décoration de jardin.

Ne regarde pas.

Les yeux sont des caméras. Il sait que nous sommes ici.

Fait comme moi et ne réagit à aucune de ces tendances antagonistes.

Oh, look at you. Aren't you gorgeous?

Gendarme Richard is a black belt in three martial arts disciplines.

Oh, small but deadly. You should come work for me.

As I said, we would like you to accompany us to the station.

Am I under arrest?

No, we'd like to ask you a few questions to help us with our inquiries.

Does it do your head in?

Pardon? The uncertainty of me.

I do not understand.

My unpredictability.

Never knowing what I'm going to do next.

Call Monsieur Honor Pro. Tell him to meet me at the police station.

My solicitor. I'm sure you understand.

Of course.

Okay, well, give me a few minutes to change. I can't see any loungewear

the house. I'm not living in the UK now.

I've always shall.

Andrew, at last.

My saviour. Thank you, thank you, thank you. The cavalry's here.

Come on, everybody, up, up, up. Let the professionals take over.

Do stay for the party, though. It's the least I can do to say thank you. Oh,

thanks, Judy, if I could murder a GMT. Oh, me too.

No free GMT, but by all means, help yourself to a glass of Prosecco.

I'm shattered, though. I think I'm going to get up. Oh, no, Dominic, I am...

Stay for one, please.

All right, I'll stay for the bit.

Judith, thank you for organising the event. Absolutely my pleasure. No

at all, an absolute breeze.

May I congratulate you on your victory?

Oh, now, these are our friends who helped us get ready today.

Hello.

John, actually, our newly elected mayor, I think most probably can help you out.

Oh, really?

Yes, passionate about potholes, aren't you? Repairing them.

Exactly. Maybe you two should get your heads together.

Dom is always banging on about the state of the road. No, let's be honest, it's

because of a glass of champagne, shall we?

Come on.

Please.

Isn't that the poor man who found the body this morning?

Oh, yeah?

Shall we go and say hello? Make sure she's all right. Yeah, yeah, sure.

Hello again.

Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot your name.

Oh, I'm Nadine.

Oh, yes. Hello.

Hi. How are you doing?

Um, still all a bit of a blur, really.

I kept thinking, wasn't that real?

Oh, I think it's exactly the same.

Oh, sorry.

Excuse me for a minute.

You can confirm your name is John Marsden.

No comment.

I already know the answer, Mr. Marsden.

What do you already know?

No comment.

It will make it easier for both of us if we had a conversation, Mr. Marsden.

Look, if you... Shh!

The last person to touch me found themselves in very disabilitating

circumstances. Do you understand?

Come on, then. What do you want to know? I want to get home. They're re -running

Golden Girls tonight.

Did you know Georges Allaire?

You know I did. He did a few odd jobs for me over the years.

What? Like the Paris Artifacts Exchange robbery?

An item of the theft has been identified to be in your possession.

Who's identified that?

I'm not at liberty to say.

Well, I'm not at liberty to answer them, dear.

Did you know that Allaire was in possession of some other very expensive

stolen from you? Really? I hadn't noticed. I have lots of expensive items,

I'm a bit of a collector.

I propose that you found out Allaire had stolen from you and consequently

murdered him with the stolen swords from the Paris exchange robbery.

Very flamboyant.

Very John Marsden.

Well, that sounds sensational. Tell me more.

What time did he say he was murdered that night?

Around 9pm.

I see.

Well, your theory would be utterly marvellous if it wasn't for the fact

was in another country.

Magic only landed at 8am this morning, and I believe a lair had been discovered

by them. Check the air traffic report.

While we wait for that little penny to drop, how about a coffee?

She's parched.

I'll have a soy latte, please.

Want anything?

Okay.

Yeah. Marsden was out of the country when Allaire was killed.

What?

That was Carol. He'd have to let him go.

She thinks he's going to come after us.

No. Carol wouldn't have dropped us in it.

Oh. You mean like I did with Simone?

Dom, you had a gun pointed at your head. Yeah, but even though... Besides, you

weren't even bothered about Simone.

I think I need a whisky.

A whisky?

I've never seen you drink whisky. I only drink whisky when I'm really, really

tired. Oh, bless you.

Tell you what, I'll get you one. Got to get my bag anyway.

Guess what? She's my mate Claire who works at the council.

Really? Great.

I'm going to go say goodbye.

Oh, I'll come with you.

Oh, Andrea, sorry,

I'm just looking at all your whiskeys.

So many to choose from.

Where's the whiskey?

We have to follow her.

Who? Nadine.

Why? Stop asking questions. I'll explain on the way.

How can we follow her when she's not left here?

That's a very good point.

Okay, right.

I'll slip out the back.

You keep her talking. Text me when she leaves and I'll hide behind Madeline.

Oh, I was just coming to say thank you to you and your friend for being so

Oh, yes, she's just, um...

Nip to the loo.

Okay. Well, thank you.

Dom. Dom.

Your friend didn't tell me her name.

Jean. Jean. Please say thank you to Jean for me.

I will. Yeah.

Bye.

Oh, that just gets better. Oh, Jeff.

Sorry, Jeremy, me and... Our mayor's daughter is studying astrophysics and

someone who knows their way around the telescope.

Right. And you know your aurora borealis from your aurora australis. Yeah, it's

just north and south, really.

Yeah, but maybe you can help.

Just give her my number. That is to help.

Family issues, I think, or something.

Why have we followed her?

I just need to have a look around. I've got an idea.

Are there going to be guns again?

I hope not. Oh, good.

Mind you, I am here because I suspect that she stabbed a man through the

so... What?

She's the murderer?

But why?

I think it's all about revenge.

Revenge?

Yeah. But I need to be sure.

What?

I am not happy about this.

Follow me.

And ring the doorbell.

And detract there for a bit.

I can't. Is that your woman there or your big plotter?

Well, just ring the doorbell and run away then.

I haven't done that to her again.

Please don't. I'll meet you back in Madeleine.

I'm getting too old for this. Nonsense, you and your prime.

Carol, you are not going to believe this.

Teleport.

where you were last night?

At home.

Alone. Can anyone verify that?

I was on my own.

Why were you in possession of this coupling?

I pounded down the road from the mother this morning.

And you forgot to mention it.

Ah.

Must have been the shock of discovering the body.

Yes, that must have been quite traumatic.

It was.

The cufflink looked expensive and I don't get paid much as a council worker.

Very good. Thank you.

I don't think you're telling the truth, Nadine.

If it wasn't for my good friend Gloria being on the scene, I think you might

have just got away with it.

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

Really?

Are you completely sure about that?

This is how I see it.

I think you killed Georges Allaire.

And I think it's something you wanted to do for a long, long time.

It was your lanyard that gave you away.

And your surname seemed familiar too.

Everyone thought all the artefacts from the Paris exchange robbery were stolen

from the van en route.

But they weren't, were they, Nadine?

We have evidence.

that you used your council passport to enter the museum that day.

And you were seen on the CCTV camera, taking the airplanes hours before

the van left.

But you were very lucky with the timing of the ambush of the van, weren't you?

Now, nobody would ever suspect you.

But why?

Why use the swords to murder an old man so brutally?

It was about honor and revenge.

And one of the last duels ever to take place in France.

Duels? A long time ago.

It involved George Allaire and a young rival called René Britois, who was

over his patch.

So he asked him out in a duel.

It took place, and Allaire was a clear winner.

In fact, it was called off after first blood.

It became famous because, unusually for the time, it was photographed.

No one ever saw René Britois again.

I'm guessing that he was your father.

What happened, Nadine?

The day after the duel, my father had gone.

There was no sign of him.

My mother and him were still in love, and then, nothing.

When I was younger, I was still angry and confused about him.

When I got older, I needed to know why he left us.

So I decided to start looking for him.

Gone.

After exhausting every avenue, at last, 18 months ago,

I found my father.

He didn't have long to live.

I asked him why he left us.

George Allaire said either my father left town after the duel or he would

kill us, me and my mother.

So he was protecting you all these years, protecting you from George

I vowed that day that it would avenge my father.

You're an expert fencer, aren't you, Nadine?

It was the fences on a whiskey bottle that gave me my final clue.

I had been preparing for this moment all my life.

Allaire still lived in Saint -Victoire.

So one night, I followed him down the alley.

And into a field on the outskirts of town.

Georges Allaire!

Huh?

I gave him a couple of chances, but he was no match.

I took the cuff link

to put next to my father's picture.

To show him revenge had finally been done.

And you murdered an old man?

No.

I murdered Georges Allaire.

What I don't understand is why you went back to the scene of the crime.

The time of death shows that you killed him around 9pm.

the night before.

This is the last thing my father ever gave me.

I didn't know it was missing until I woke up.

I found it in his hand, but that's when Gloria saw me.

I can never be without this.

Head care is his energy.

Gloria, thank you for today.

No problem. You've been a real workhorse.

Well, I think that all went very well.

Dom.

I think we might need...

My

name is soldier.

By my speech, they will know the world.

I will not surrender.

Never be defeated.

We live our lives in the shadow, cast by the mountains.

An enemy has been slain.

It is not my way to fight, but a rule I might form.

At least I die a man.

I wear a helm so that I am only a soldier.

The worthy survive!

I will not surrender.

We are caught between them.

Because I must be out there

Along with my name.

Beyond Manhattan.