Original subtitles

He

My name is R.J. Smith, or Elder Smith now.

I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,

or you can use the acronym LDS if you wish.

I'm 20 years old, and in two days I leave for my mission.

This is my mother, my father, and my sister Mary Ann.

We are told at a young age that it is our duty as men to serve God through two years of missionary service.

Mormons are told if you serve a mission faithfully and well,

you will be a better husband, father, student, and a better worker in your chosen vocation.

I've been brought up to believe this.

I know the church is true, and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen.

This is my farewell party.

This is my girlfriend, Elise.

We've never done anything past a few pecks, some nuzzling, and some dry humping.

She's a real sweetheart.

This is how I end every night, with a prayer.

This is how I begin every morning, still praying.

John.

Hey, thanks for coming.

I appreciate it.

I appreciate it.

Enjoy that food.

It's great to see you.

Remember this one that is this tall?

Yeah.

What a...

You're looking great.

And he's got to be quite the world traveler.

Family home evening, food, board games, charades, scripture reading.

Mormon faith truly is a benefactor of wholesomeness.

Someone's hand, someone's hand.

Someone's hand.

This is the MTC, or Missionary Training Center, where elders prepare for the mission field.

At first, I held some animosity about only going six hours away from home for my mission work.

But I realized our Heavenly Father has sent me there for a reason.

The smell of a candle freshly blown out.

The light of the clock shines on my skin like a sickly green moonlight.

On a pale white day's decay, I try to wipe you from my memory.

But your face won't fade away.

Building.

How was the bus?

It's not like diaper the whole way.

Look at your own set of keys.

Bathroom.

Ploset.

This is it.

Oh, yeah. Kitchen in there.

It's perfect.

Yeah, it's a great neighborhood too.

You love it.

So I hear you're quite the athlete.

Uh, I'm okay.

Well, I've always heard it said, don't be so modest, you're not that great.

So this is Elder Merrill's bed, and this one's yours, so...

Keep it tidy.

Where is Elder Merrill, by the way?

He should be in a meeting, but you'll meet him soon enough.

So tell me about him, what's he like?

Elder Merrill, um...

His father's a member of the first quorum.

But I'm sure he already knew that.

He reads a lot, eats Lucky Charms like they're going out of style.

I don't... is there something specific you want to know?

No, I was just wondering.

Oh. Well, you'll meet him soon enough.

Sometimes companionships don't work out.

If that's the case, then we'll just find somebody you're more compatible with.

Or you could just wait a few months and you may have a new mission companion anyhow.

Hey!

Elder Harris.

And you must be my new companion.

Elder Smith.

Yes, and you must be Elder Merrill.

That's me.

So, did Elder Harris show you around a little bit?

Yeah, a little.

Well, I should let you guys get more acquainted.

I look forward to getting your reports, and I'm sure I'll see you around.

Goodbye, owner.

Thanks for the ride.

No problem.

He's nice.

Yeah.

I have to tell you how happy I am to be here.

Very excited.

I'm also looking forward to starting my missionary work.

Good.

Good.

Let's get your note.

Would you like to start this companionship off with a prayer?

Yes.

Definitely.

You alright?

Yeah.

So where are you from again?

Salt Lake City.

Oh.

You're from Idaho, right?

Yeah.

Where were you serving before you were here?

Oh, I was on the coast.

- Oh, cool.

- So what do you like to do?

- I like sports.

Besides competition, I'm a drummer.

Yeah.

I'm learning how to play the guitar.

Kinda, I didn't bring it down or anything.

What about you?

- I don't know.

I've just been doing the missionary thing for so long,

- Yeah, just being a missionary is all I do.

- Do you have a girlfriend back at home?

- No, fortunately.

Do you have a girlfriend?

- Oh yeah, we've been together for a while.

- Yeah, what's your name?

- Elise.

- How long have you guys been dating?

- Three years.

- You got a picture? - Oh, yeah.

- It's pretty. - Oh, thanks.

Are you done?

Oh yeah, thanks.

We just have a lot to go over, so...

Okay, so...

I have some planning to do for tomorrow.

We need to get you a bike first thing.

So why don't you go ahead and just get some sleep? I know we've had a long drive and we'll just start bright and early tomorrow morning

The drive actually wasn't that bad. Are you sure you don't need help with anything?

I know no it's okay. You get some rest and oh by the way the left side of the dresser is yours and also the top shelf of the fridge is yours if you need it

Thanks

Have Reese's stopping point over?

Yeah, I think so.

Okay, so today we have a meeting at noon with David Fellows, but first I wanted to take

you and get a bike.

Then from 2 o'clock on I'm going to take you out and do some tracking.

Last week we had a couple of meetings with some investigators, one of which is Lydia Davis,

who is a possible convert.

Okay.

That's pretty much it.

You ready?

I'm ready.

How you doing, ma'am?

You doing all right?

Yeah.

Having a good day?

So far.

Good.

Well, my name's Elder Miller.

I'm with Jesus Christ of Laundry Saints.

Oh.

Oh, hello.

- Tarina? - Tarina?

- Yeah.

- Okay, and there's a card inside with my name and number on it

if you'd like to give me a call, but this is yours to keep.

- Okay. - Please don't feel--

I mean, no pressure, really, but I really thank you for your time.

It was a pleasure to be me. - You're very welcome.

- Thank you. - Good luck.

- Hope to hear from you. - Okay.

- Thank you. - God bless you.

- Really good job. - Sounds like it.

- Hello. - I'm gonna get another dog.

- How you doing? - Good.

My name's Elder Smith.

How did you do that?

Hi.

I'm from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Nice dog.

How did you do that?

That lady?

No, I mean, it doesn't sound real.

I mean...

It does.

We need to do it.

We did it! First one!

Congratulations! Good for you!

It's alright.

Okay.

We just don't want to...

Yeah, I just got a lot of energy.

Alright.

How'd that feel?

Good.

It feel good?

Got these tablets, transcribed them into what we have today, the Book of Mormon.

Do you guys subscribe to any religion?

No?

No.

Well, actually we kind of need to go.

I didn't know how it was going to take this long.

Thanks anyway.

Alright, nice meeting you.

Not bad.

No, you could have offered them a Bible passage, but I don't know if they would have taken it.

You are? Okay, so can you tell us a little bit about what you know?

Well, I know there's not anything I'm interested in.

Oh, okay. I'm Christian, very strong Christian.

Oh, okay. I don't know.

Okay, well do you know who Joseph Smith was?

No. Actually, you know, I was getting ready to go to this concert.

Oh, okay.

hi how'd it go? it was good we did some uh tracking yeah any baptisms conversion?

Not yet.

Well, maybe an archaic is Elder Smith.

I'm just kidding.

Sisters, there's a gym I'd like you all to meet.

Sister Tulsa, Sister Brown, Sister Olsen.

Hi.

This is Elder Smith.

Nice to meet you, sisters.

It's nice to hear you.

And you all know from the Marrow course.

How are you, sisters?

How are you, dear?

Very well, thanks.

Sister Tulsa was just about to show a visitor around the door.

If she'd like to talk, perhaps.

Oh, sure.

Oh, great.

Come on this way.

That's great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

*Tributo de la cámara*

- You boys selling something?

- Oh, no sir.

- No, no.

- What do you want then?

Are you Jehovah's Witnesses or something?

- No, we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of modern day

saints.

- Oh, well, thank you boys for coming by, but I'm not a very

religious man.

- Oh, well, maybe I could just leave you a Book of Mormon and

part of the Bible.

- Yeah.

I'll write some scriptures for you to read.

And I'll leave you my number,

and you guys can get a hold of us

any time you have any questions or concerns.

That'd be all right, I guess.

Thank you boys for coming by. Have a nice day.

Yeah, here we go. You too. Thanks.

Dear Mom, Dad, and Mary Ann,

Mission life has been going well,

And I think I'm getting into the swing of things.

The life of a missionary is very routine.

We rise early.

After we pray, Elder Merrill and I will go on a run.

After we've had breakfast and washed up, we do our scripture study.

We are usually out the door by 8 a.m.

Missionaries will talk about the gospel anywhere, anytime.

We spent most of our day giving lessons.

Tracting for those interested in the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.

Upholding appointments with investigators.

And planning for upcoming meetings.

Once a week we have P-Day, or Personal Day.

To send letters to our family and do extracurricular activities.

Despite being called every name in the book on a daily basis,

things overall are going well and have been smooth thus far.

I miss you all and love you all, Arjun.

- You must be Elder Merrill.

- Yes, sir.

- I'm Jim.

- Nice to meet you.

- And you are--

- Elder Smith.

- Yeah, come on in.

- Oh, thank you.

So Joseph Smith retired to the forest on a beautiful, clear spring day in the year of 1823.

He knelt down and he began to offer the desires of his heart to God,

when all of a sudden he was seized upon by a power that completely overcame him.

It was so strong he couldn't speak.

Exerting all of his energy to call upon God to deliver him from the grasp of the enemy

had taken a hold of him at the moment that he was ready to sink into despair, to completely

give himself into annihilation, not to some imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual

being from an unseen world with miraculous powers that he had never felt at that moment

of greatest alarm.

He saw a pillar of light directly above his head, brighter than the sun until it descended gradually onto him.

Then two personages appeared onto him.

One pointed to the other and said, this is my beloved son.

Hear him.

This was the first vision.

We know the Book of Mormon is true.

Elder Smith and I can tell you in detail how it has changed our lives and the lives of our families.

It's brought us closer together, and I know it will do the same for you and your family.

Maybe I could be more specific.

Sure.

Where does Jesus tell us that we need to be married in a temple for eternity to get to the highest level of glory?

That's in the Doctrine of Covenants.

Can I look at your scriptures for a minute?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, this is it.

Isn't this a revelation on polygamy?

Uh, no. It's on eternal marriage.

It states that under certain circumstances, it allows plural marriages.

Okay.

So under what circumstances does God allow it under?

Joseph Smith was practicing polygamy long before this revelation.

Well, polygamy was only accepted for the purpose of spreading seed, as it states in Jacob.

Okay, so how many children did Joseph Smith have outside of his marriage to Emma?

I don't see how that's important.

To see if he was practicing polygamy to spread his seed.

Do you know what they called him?

I've heard a few of the names, yes.

They called him the Glass Looker.

Glass Lookers weren't uncommon in New York around 1820.

They were con men, shysters.

They claimed they could find treasure buried by Native Americans.

They would look into stone or glass and peer into a hat

and find the imaginary treasure.

We've all heard that.

Have you heard this?

One of his wives was 13 years old.

So not only was he a polygamist, he was a pedophile.

Well, it's clear that we have been brought here under false pretenses.

It's also clear that you have done some preparation for our meeting tonight

and are far more knowledgeable in our scriptures than you have led us to believe.

I'm sorry, but I don't think we can go any further.

Wait a minute, I'm not trying to be crass.

I'm sorry, nothing I've said is not true elders.

other murrow

- Elder Merrill. - Yes.

Are you okay?

Fine.

Are you sure?

I'll be okay.

I just can't believe some of the things that that guy was saying.

Sorry.

It was supposed to be your senior elder.

Sorry, that you stopped me losing control of that.

It's okay, you didn't lose control.

Why would that guy invite us to dinner just to ambush us like that?

I'm not sure.

Hmm.

I wanted some dessert.

What?

I wanted some dessert. Those brownies smelled amazing.

What?

What?

I've never been so serious.

I know, I believe you.

This is my serious face.

This is your serious face.

I would love to see your serious face someday.

Is that it?

Is that your serious face?

It's a good serious face.

Now there are three degrees of glory.

First, the celestial kingdom, which is the highest kingdom.

The terrestrial kingdom is for people who refuse to accept the gospel

but still live honorably, and the Telestial Kingdom for the sinners.

And even though the Telestial Kingdom is full of murderers and thieves, it's still a paradise.

Well, that sounds really nice.

The idea is to be in the highest kingdom with God.

All three sound okay.

Still, your safest bet is to earn your way into the Celestial Kingdom.

So, Miss Sanborn, as you continue to read the Book of Mormon, we think you will find

that it is true, as Elder Merrill and I have discovered.

We believe that you too deserve to be in the highest of kingdoms with our Heavenly Father.

So Miss Sanborn, we would like to ask you, as you continue to find truth in our scriptures

as it seems that you are, would you like to be baptized and join our church?

Um, I'm not sure.

There's a singles ward.

It's not the same thing.

Karl Malone was on the original dream team.

I mean, he's a legend.

All I'm saying is that Stockton played in an era of better basketball players.

I mean, he had Larry Bird, Mike Johnson, Jordan, Kareem.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alright, have you seen Williams play?

Okay, yeah, the guy can jump out of the stadium.

He's like three inches taller and twice as fast as Stockton.

Are you? Stockton was known for his quickness.

Plus, I mean, he had eyes in the back of his head.

He didn't need to be tall.

Exactly.

I've been talking more with Sister Tulsa lately, who is very sweet.

She has been teaching me sign language.

Yeah, well, then I'll know for sure. I'll see you before I leave.

Yeah, definitely.

But are you going to the conference later this year?

Yeah, I think we have that. It's all in here.

But you're planning on it.

Yes, of course.

I'm planning on it if it's in my planner.

Yeah.

Very good.

Yeah.

Cool. Hello.

Well, I should probably get going.

Okay.

Thank you, friend.

Yeah, you're welcome.

Remember, I'm a missionary.

Of course, I am as well.

Hello.

It's Elder Smith.

Just...

Yeah, I have him right here.

Are you ready?

We had two discussions, 15 books of Mormon handed out, zero challenges and zero baptisms.

Yeah.

Okay.

Thank you.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

What were you this morning?

Oh, I did the community service thing with Sister Tulsa.

You know you're not supposed to be alone with girls while you're on your mission, right?

There were other people there.

You're also not supposed to leave your companion's side.

You okay, man?

Fine.

Oh, here. This came for you.

- You were supposed to be there too.

Would you like something to drink?

No, I'm okay.

You sure about that?

Yeah.

Sorry about the mess.

- Yes.

Sorry about that.

I know that's probably rude of me, but I'm pretty nervous.

I haven't had guests in my home much lately.

You totally have a medical marijuana card for that, right?

No.

No, I don't.

It's fine.

Not the police.

I hope not.

I don't dress as nice as you do.

That's true.

Well, thank you for getting back in touch with us.

- Yeah.

I, uh, after you left,

last time I took that book that you gave me,

I tossed it right there on the table,

and there it sat for days while I just ignored it.

Then,

days later, I was sitting here and I was watching the TV,

when there was nothing good on.

over a hundred channels, nothing good on the TV at all.

So I picked it up and I started reading and,

well, it wasn't too bad.

There's some wars in there and a bunch of stuff

I didn't understand, so I thought I'd call you boys up

and give you the chance to explain it to me.

Tell me more about it.

Sure, sure.

Well, do you currently practice a religion?

Well, I was raised Catholic, but I no longer practice.

Don't tell my mama.

No.

No.

Fine.

Oh, were you in the military?

Yes.

Yes, I was.

Iraq?

Yes, sir.

Iraq.

Well, you've done your country great service.

Thank you.

Are you still military active?

No, I was honorably discharged.

Were you injured?

- Not physically.

- What happened?

- Elder, I don't think he wants to talk about it.

- No, it's all right.

Most of the guys don't like to talk about this kind of stuff,

but I don't mind.

I enlisted with my brother, Mark.

We were stationed in Ashura, in Iraq.

We'd been there for a while.

We were getting close, you know, counting the days before we got to go home.

They sent us a new lieutenant.

Green as money, fresh out of college.

We were just moving from one place to another, you know.

came to a point where we believed that we were in a minefield.

What they teach you is to just turn right around,

step right back into your own footsteps.

That way you don't accidentally step somewhere you didn't step before.

Mark, he was right in front of me.

So we made our way back.

I don't know what happened.

I stepped too far to the right or the left or something.

Suddenly, I...

I was just all covered in red, you know, covered in blood.

I thought I had been killed.

Then I looked up.

I saw what had happened.

It really was my own blood.

The only thing I could think about,

how was I gonna tell Mom?

You boys sure you don't want something?

- No, thank you.

- All right.

Maybe we should just talk about your thing, right?

Yeah, get out of our rag.

Jesus wasn't there, I can tell you that for sure, so...

Jesus is pretty cool.

That's what all the kids say, right?

Transfer to Max, end line 75.

Elder Merrill has been slacking off a bit lately.

He slept in again today.

And during our zone conference, he just sat there in silence.

Now, you know, if it takes a shift, then it's over.

You know what I mean? It's just like, that's his shift.

You okay?

What?

You just seemed distracted recently.

What do you mean?

I don't know. You can't wait.

No, no, go on.

- It just seems like you don't want to be here sometimes.

- Why would you say that?

- I don't know, when we started out you were up at 5:30 in the morning and you were excited

about teaching, but-- - But what?

- It just seems like you're kind of slacking off a little bit.

- Well, thank you for bringing that to my attention, Elder.

I appreciate your honesty and you're right.

You're right, I'm gonna get back on track.

I was just making an observation, I wasn't judging.

I just wanna make sure you're all right.

It's not something I can explain easily, I'm sorry.

It's just, I don't...

I don't know.

It's just, I've been thinking a lot lately, and...

I mean, take our dinner that we had with Mr. Davis last week.

Alright.

Here is a man who is pretty comfortable with his life

and content without any organized religion.

We go into his house, 20 years old,

with the intention of teaching him and his family

to rethink their entire existence.

Yeah, but that's what missionaries do.

I mean, that's what we've always done.

Well, three weeks of training at the MTC

doesn't make me qualified for that.

Elder, it's okay to have doubts, everybody does.

I know.

I know it's difficult, and I know it's difficult for you too.

I mean, I hear you listening to secular music on your headphones.

I saw the way you looked at Sister Tulsa.

What? No, no, no.

You can't tell me that your testimony isn't being tested all the time.

Of course it is.

So how are you home?

I'm okay sometimes.

Sometimes I want to be at home.

Sometimes I want to be at school.

All in all, I like being here.

I like being here too.

I like being here with you.

You're a good companion.

Thank you.

Everything's gonna be alright.

Hey!

You two always that friendly?

Excuse me?

I just noticed you was rubbing up on his arm there.

It's cool with me, you know, I just want to know if you're all like that.

You're Mormon, right?

I got this, you're ready to go?

Yeah, thanks.

LDS, Church of Jesus Christ, the Latter-day Saints, right?

Where are you going?

Don't leave.

Aren't you guys supposed to try and convert me, right?

Give me the lessons?

So I got a letter from my mom yesterday.

Hi.

She's trying to set me up with this girl back home.

Do you know her?

Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, her my whole life.

I don't know, maybe if I just ignore her,

you know, she'll just get married

before I can say no thanks.

I don't know, man.

She's dropping like flies back home.

Maybe you should keep tabs on Elise.

- Oh, you know, it is what it is,

plus I always said, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

- You know, that's what happened to older Harris.

- What? - Yeah.

- When we were living together, his then girlfriend

sent me a letter saying, "Hey, met somebody else.

"I'm gonna marry him."

- Oh, that's tough, man.

This one's already so uptight.

- Shoot.

Come on.

- It's those guys from the restaurant.

Just keep walking.

- Hey.

Where are y'all heading?

You need a ride?

- No, no, we're okay.

Thanks.

You shouldn't be out so late.

Unsafe people come out at night.

Let's just go.

Why don't you get in? We'll take you home.

We'll be safer.

Come on. Come on, get in.

Let's just go, Craig.

It's alright if y'all like to touch each other.

You're from Utah, right?

What part?

I'm from Utah.

Little town called Farron, you ever heard of it?

You know, my father couldn't get a job because of you people.

Drank himself into oblivion.

Y'all take care of your own, don't care about nobody else, hypocrites.

Faggots.

Can I make you angry, faggot?

RJ, what are you doing?

Come on, let him go.

Don't hold him back, let him go.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm still a little shaken up

Never seen you angry before

I'm usually passive-aggressive. We could probably just send a guy to the emergency room

No, it's terrible

Well, I hate to say this,

but he deserved it.

Mormons aren't supposed to fight.

Mormons aren't supposed to do a lot of things.

I think we should keep this to ourselves.

I agree.

You sure you're okay?

Alright.

Hands are all bruised up.

Sorry.

Yeah, thanks.

Did I look cool?

Yeah, actually. Pretty cool.

Anyone's gonna look cool fighting two guys in a long sleeve white shirt and a red tie.

It's gonna be me.

This is really cold.

Yeah, it's ice.

You got it from the freezer.

I did get it from the freezer.

You got it.

I did get it from the freezer.

Elder Merrill's indifference has been contagious.

We haven't been teaching much this week or last.

And we're not supposed to, but we decided to see a movie tonight.

I figure it's not worth being on a mission if you're not going to have fun sometimes.

So why do you never talk about the wrestling thing?

No need.

It's just something I do.

Well, thanks for your help the other night.

You would have done the same thing for me.

You're kind of scrawny for a champion, to be perfectly honest.

And you talk more about basketball than you wrestling.

I'm sorry, I was being such an idiot that night too. I...

I don't know.

You weren't being an idiot.

Well, thanks for listening, anyway.

No problem.

Your feelings were completely valid and totally normal.

What feelings?

Doubt. Confusion.

So you have those too?

Of course.

Have you ever been tempted out in the mission field?

Tempted to do what?

I don't know. Anything.

Anything a missionary shouldn't do?

Yes.

You'll have to excuse me, Elder. I'm gonna go use the restroom.

I'm going to go.

Hey, hey, sorry I had to go too.

- I guess we just both have a little bit of stage fright, huh?

- Probably.

Well, pull this alarm.

- Wait.

- Yeah?

- I guess what I'm really trying to get at is...

- Yeah?

Were you gonna kiss me that night?

What?

I was half asleep, but I saw you standing over me.

I, um, I don't...

Hey, hang on.

It's okay if you were.

I'll do it.

I try and keep these feelings at a distance.

I've prayed to God in tears before,

in hopes that I may one day love a woman

and want to take her as my wife.

that I might want to kiss her, hold her, and have sex with her.

But I can't.

It's not how I'm built.

When we were done, we both prayed.

Then got our bikes and rode back to our apartment.

We didn't talk about it for the rest of the evening.

We're bad Mormons, aren't we?

Yeah, I think so.

You think we're headed for outer darkness?

I don't know. What do you think?

I think we're shoe-in.

So, RJ.

You ever been with girls?

No, not really.

Well, what about, what's your name?

Well, we came close, but no.

The first time I kissed a girl, I set myself up for failure because I prayed and prepared

myself to like it.

And then when it happened, I mean, it was just a kiss.

That's it, you know, nothing else.

- That's when you knew?

- I always knew how I felt, but...

Well, there's a park near my home called Hope Grove.

And it sits near a bank on the falls.

And I didn't know what the park was for.

One morning I woke up really early

I couldn't fall back to sleep, so I just got up to go shoot hoops.

I started to hear something.

And I looked around to see where the noise was coming from,

but I couldn't see anything, so I walked towards it.

And I saw two men.

One was on his knees, and the other was pinned up against a tree.

And I just stood there and watched.

and one of the guys noticed me and so I walked closer.

I had been affectionate with men before that,

but that was very different.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little long-winded.

- Oh, well, it's okay.

I like it when you talk.

I get the feeling you don't really get a chance to.

I remember I went out to eat with my family.

I was about nine years old.

At the restaurant I was sitting next to my dad.

And a few tables down I saw this really good looking boy about my age.

So I said in front of my mom and dad, brother and sister,

"Hey, that's a really handsome boy."

They completely ignored me, but when we got home,

my dad pulled me aside and yelled at me

and told me I shouldn't think things like that,

that I shouldn't ever see something like that ever again.

There's always been a rift between me and my dad because...

I think he's always known.

Hi, Oliver. Hey.

What took you guys so long to answer?

We were just reading through scriptures and we were really into it today.

Yeah.

Really?

What verse?

First Nephi chapter 2 verse 15.

That's a good one.

So what are you guys up to?

Just studying like we said.

Yeah.

Yeah. Well, let's go shoot some hoops.

I actually don't feel like playing any basketball right now.

Well I really want to go and it's Monday.

You guys don't really have any meetings scheduled today so let's get you some moves.

Yeah, okay, cool. Be out there.

Dang it.

So what have you guys been up to?

Nothing much, just some attracting, challenging, the usual.

- Well, your numbers are low.

Close in the region, in fact.

What's been going on?

What are you looking at him for?

Your senior elder.

I'm talking to you, Elder Merrill.

We haven't seen you guys in church.

You haven't been calling in your numbers.

Had to practically pull them from you like teeth.

We've been sick.

You've both been sick.

Yeah, I was sick in the middle of elder Merrill.

Really?

Yeah.

I should have said something.

Bishop and Mission President were getting concerned.

I'll let him know.

You're a whore, by the way.

What?

You had an H and O, and that was an R.

- Come on in.

- Hey.

- How you boys doing?

Been a while.

- Yeah.

- How you been?

- Really, really good.

- Good.

- Good.

- All right.

All right, I'm surprised I haven't heard from you more.

I thought you boys were supposed to be hounding me,

trying to convert me and baptize me.

- Well, we're just glad you called.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, well, I don't know.

- I don't know.

I've been reading some of those scriptures you highlighted for me in the book.

Oh, good. Good.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

You boys mind, I know you're probably not supposed to be around this stuff.

I'll go ahead.

Sure.

- Rodney. - Rodney.

Yeah, I'll write the scriptures.

The scriptures that you highlighted in yellow, they were very pretty, but a bit repetitive.

Yeah.

And it came to pass.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Same thing over and over and over.

You know, Mark Twain said that the Book of Mormon was a prosy detail of imaginary history

and a tedious pelagiarism of the New Testament.

Well, I don't think Mark Twain had anything good to say about organized religion.

What do you think?

I would agree.

Yeah, I suppose you're right about that.

Where are you getting your information from, by the way?

Oh, mostly from the internet.

Hey, can I see that?

The bag...

You gave it to me.

Oh, no, the bag of...

Oh, yeah, yeah.

The green.

Smells really good.

Yep, that's one of the best things about it.

Can I see the...

The pipe? Yeah, go for it. No problem.

RJ, what are you doing?

I just want to... I think I'm going to try it.

Why?

I'm just kind of curious to see what...

Is there already some in there?

Yeah, it's already there.

So I don't need to...

I saw you do this once, so I'll do that one too.

Okay, so...

All right, well, you're going to want to hold the side there.

You see that little hole?

Yeah.

It's called the cob.

You're going to hold on to that, and it creates pressure in the glass.

All right.

And then you put it up to your mouth, you light it, you suck in,

and then you let go of the cob, and then it all rushes in.

Okay.

I can guide you through it.

Just go ahead and stop.

Here we go.

You guys

What is this first to make me feel like I've never done this before you never done any weed before

- I'm Mormon. He is Mormon.

- It's just gonna make you feel, uh...

interested.

Of course, you can feel free if you'd like.

No pressure, but...

- Do you want... - Yes.

- You're welcome, guys.

You boys allowed to watch TV?

- Not really, I mean, I haven't watched TV in a long time.

But I suppose a little.

- Yeah, I wouldn't even know what's on anymore.

A little bit longer.

- All right, well you wanna watch a movie?

- Yeah, sure.

- All right, I've got Finding Nemo and Princess Bride.

Saving Private Ryan

Full Metal Jacket

You have increasingly violent

Are you okay to watch those?

Well, sometimes I watch them

Six in the City, the movie

Sex in the City?

Yeah, it's about girls in New York

running around and having sex with everybody

Oh, isn't that that show about the three hookers and their mom?

You're talking all in the family.

No, that's Golden Girls.

You boys like my knife, huh?

Yeah, that's nice.

Yeah, do you have any snacks?

No, we're talking about a knife.

Oh.

Woo!

This is nice.

Has this been here the whole time?

Yeah.

It's been there ever since I moved here.

It was here when I moved here, in fact.

I don't even know what the heck he's supposed to be.

You guys remember Raising the Roof?

That was pretty cool.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Chris and I have never seen these films with the inappropriate parts in them.

Mormons watch a lot of edited videos.

What do you mean the Mormons just cut the vials?

For instance, the versions of Casino and Goodfellas I'd seen were only 35 minutes.

We also showed Rodney some LDS favorites.

You have a mouthful of ties, sir.

This is messed up, man.

I mean, it's a cartoon or something, but...

I mean, who gives a damn about how many cows a woman's worth?

We've begun to spend a lot of time with Rodney.

He's on disability and he mainly stays at home.

There are times he's a little on edge.

He just needs some human contact sometimes.

I like to think, though, Chris and I are straying from our duties,

that we are doing some good by spending time with him.

So, what are you guys going to do after you get home?

- Um, I'm not sure.

I still have a while to go on my mission.

School, I guess.

- Yeah, probably the same.

- You don't sound very enthused about it.

How old are you guys, anyway?

- We're 20.

- 20?

Huh.

When I was 20, I still hadn't joined the military yet.

I'd been working at this assembly plant for two years,

saving up money.

One day I just walked in and quit.

You know, I didn't give th--

Two weeks notice of nothing, I just quit.

And I got in my car, got an oil change, got new ties,

picked up my brother Mark and then hit the 35.

Just drove all over the country for three months.

Best time of my life. You two should do something like that.

I've always wanted to do that.

Be so cool.

You're 20. Get out there and live a little bit. Do drugs.

Get drunk, black out, and not remember where you are the next morning.

Have sex with girls. Have sex with guys.

Have sex with both at the same time.

These are the things that you need to do.

You need to break into a library

and steal the entire collection of Hans Christian Anderson books.

Get arrested, go to jail, and spend the night there.

Have some life experience. Eat Taco Bell.

Something's different with you two.

Seriously, ever since the first time I met you,

I noticed that things are different now.

What's going on?

What do you mean?

Well, you two seem to be at a slightly different disposition now than you were then.

Huh. I see how it is.

I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable.

You kidding?

Nothing gayer than the military.

You should see some of the things I saw.

Ain't nobody straight in a foxhole.

Wow.

I can't believe this, you know?

I got it.

I got these two queer pot-smoking moments

sitting here in my living room eating tacos.

- You okay, RJ?

- Yeah, yo, yo.

- Look, boys, I don't care if you're queer,

straight or if I, you prefer masturbation above all.

You boys are all right with me.

All right, well.

You still, uh, want me to read this book?

So...

How do you feel about everything?

What do you mean everything?

Well, just you and me and the mission.

I guess we're still trying to make sense of it all.

What about you?

How do you feel?

I'm not an apostate.

But I still have a deep love for Jesus Christ.

So do I.

I think we're both on the brink of something new.

It's gonna be rough.

But we'll make it.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Big and narrow sand

You kiss my scum.

Wait.

Hello, Elder.

Hello, President Pierce.

Please have a seat.

Well, I'll get right to it.

Elder Harris reported to me that yesterday he knocked on your door, then proceeded to

enter your quarters.

Why didn't you lock the door?

I thought I did.

Well, you obviously didn't, Chris, because our zone leader just walked in on us together

in bed.

Now, I don't know how that happened, and I honestly don't care.

But, if I can only assume, there's more to the story than unorthodox sleeping arrangements.

What are we going to do?

I don't know.

I was also recently made aware of your incessant absence in both church and missionary meetings.

Now, I find this behavior unacceptable and ungodly.

You are not here to entertain any subconscious perversions you may be holding.

As a missionary, you have done these things

in the eyes of our Heavenly Father

while serving your church.

God damn it! Don't.

What? Say the Lord's name in vain?

Yeah. I've spoken to the stake president about this.

Yeah, 'cause I'm still Mormon.

And so am I. But my perspective has changed a little since we started this.

And I suggest you stop wasting your parents' money.

Well, maybe mine hasn't changed as much as yours.

What do you mean?

Maybe you're a bigger faggot than I am.

What you faggot!

And go home and deal with these issues.

*Gasp*

Be with your family and make things right with God.

So, Richard, do you have anything you'd like to say?

No.

No?

Thank you.

And God bless you.

Oh, and could you send in Elder Harris on your way out?

Thank you.

*Tonk

*sad music

Hey, Daddy.

Hey, R.J.

Your mom and sister are in bed.

Hungry?

Yeah, thanks.

Booked your bishop a couple days ago.

He had a long conversation.

He, uh, told me a story.

about a young missionary who came to him before his mission,

told him about the thoughts he was having towards other boys.

The bishop said he should go on his mission, and he'd be fine.

Go on your mission, he said.

He'll come back, he'll need a wife, he'll be fine.

He also said that he didn't need to mention it to anyone else,

that the Lord has a way of working these things out in due time.

Well, that young missionary came back after serving an honorable mission.

He went to the bishop and said he was still having these thoughts,

but he listened to his mentors as they said,

once he met the right girl, everything would change.

And he met a beautiful young woman three months later.

They were married within six months,

had their first child by the end of the year,

a second child the year after.

Dad, I don't know what to say.

There's nothing to say, RJ.

I went on a mission.

I wanted you to go on one so that

you could have some of those experiences

and we could sit at this table one day and talk about them.

- No, but Dad, I did do my missionary work.

And I did have some of those experiences

and I truly did enjoy it.

- I know you did, son.

It's just...

Dang it, Ricky!

You're a winner!

A champion!

Now, you chose to do your missionary work, and that's very respectable, but...

Son, you've got some hard choices to make.

Choices that are going to affect your future.

It's gonna be hard on all of us.

Ricky, this town and the church know everything about you.

You think they're not gonna find out what happened in Oregon?

I know they will.

So what are you gonna do?

Nothing.

Nothing.

I'm gonna let people's imaginations run rampant.

Why would you do that?

I don't owe anybody an explanation.

You're my son.

And I love you, first and foremost.

But...

I cannot stand by you on this.

Your family can't stand by you.

So what are you gonna do?

Will you at least try

to keep your focus and maintain your standing in the church?

Will you?

I don't see how I can.

I don't think the church helps the members have empathy for people like me.

People like you? Ricky!

There's only ever been speculation.

Speculation, Dad! I am gay.

I didn't choose this, Dad.

It's been in me for a long time.

Okay.

I told my beloved sister what happened.

I didn't think she should be left in the dark.

She understood.

I told Elise, though she had already known,

but wanted to hear for herself.

She was hard to console.

I have a meeting with a stake president today.

I will see him before I meet with the church council.

Have a seat.

R.J., I'd like to start off with a prayer, if that's okay.

Yes, sir.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for getting R.J. here safely,

and we ask that you please bless this young man

and guide him through this rough time.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Amen.

RJ, I've known you since you were a child.

I was at your baptism.

I've watched you grow up,

go to high school, college,

and I deemed you worthy of your mission.

If anyone told me that I would be looking at these words

written on this piece of paper right here in my hands

ten years ago, I'd...

RJ, tell me, why are you here today, son?

To talk about my future as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

This is a very serious matter. You know this.

And this could be grounds for excommunication. You're aware of that?

Yes.

First off, I'd like for you to tell me in detail about the relationship between you and Elder Merrill.

I'm sorry, I don't... I don't know if I can talk about this.

You broke a very sacred law.

You're right. I did. I can't deny that.

Did you want to go on a mission?

Of course. I always have.

And you wanted to serve, even though you knew this about yourself?

Yes.

I'm not the first gay man you've sent on a mission.

and I won't be the last.

The church doesn't do much to provide a way for us

to be honest about it.

As for Elder Merrill,

Elder Merrill and I were mission companions.

We served our church well.

I cannot speak for him, nor will I go into greater detail other than to say,

I have great feelings for Elder Merrill.

My feelings for him are greater than for any man.

And if I acted upon my emotions, I don't see any injustice in my acts, nor disgrace in them.

Shame on you.

And shame on this church.

I was raised to believe I was a part of something.

Of my family and friends.

And now because of who I am, I don't get to be that.

I'm excluded from that.

I'm not sorry.

I hope you know that.

I am not sorry.

How'd it go?

It went okay.

So?

I told him I don't need to regain my worthiness.

And I don't need to see the High Council either.

What?

Why not?

So where do I go from here?

Maybe I should just throw a dart on a map and see where I end up.

Or I could just see where the world takes me.

おやすみなさい。

Thank you.

Thank you.

*music