Original subtitles

Okay, Tramp. I hear it.

Just keep your pants on, will you?

I can hear the phone.

You'll wake the whole house up.

Sure, Flats, I want to help you out,

but I, I just don't want to leave my son-in-law

without a... Shut up, Tramp.

I know it's an emergency, Flats.

Tramp, let go!

Not you, no, not you, Flats.

I'll be over there. Don't worry now.

Let go, Tramp, will you?

Don't you worry, Flats.

I'll get over there tonight somehow.

Good-bye, Flats.

Flats Jensen is one of the best pals

I ever had in my life and I just don't feel

that I should leave him there alone.

Now, what I'm worried about

is who's gonna take care of you and the boys while I'm gone.

Oh, don't worry, Bub.

We'll-we'll find somebody.

No problem. Come on, Steve,

you got to take me to the airport.

Okay. Okay, Bub.

Okay, first, first thing in the morning.

No, no, no.

Now, don't go back to sleep.

I've got to make the midnight plane.

Oh, okay. Okay.

Okay. Mm-hmm. Right.

Now, stay awake now. Yeah, yeah.

I got to go and pack.

Okay.

Mmm.

What's going on?

Oh, oh.

You're up, huh, Mike.

Good.

Good.

Yeah.

Do me a favor, hmm?

Here are the keys to the car.

Drive your granddad to the airport, hmm?

Sure.

Airport?

Yeah, slight emergency.

He'll tell you about it.

No problem.

Oh, good.

Drive carefully.

What's the deal? Oh, good.

Here's Dad's car keys.

Bub has to go to the airport.

Airport?

Slight emergency.

No problem.

Oh, good.

Is it still last night or is it this morning?

Oh, here, take Dad's keys to Bub.

He's got to take someone to the airport.

Slight emergency. No problem.

Hey, Chip, what are you doing up?

Here's the keys.

Dad wants someone to pick him up at the airport.

Pick him up at the airport?

Slight emergency.

No problem.

What's going on here?

Peanut butter and jelly for breakfast.

Peanut butter and jelly for lunch.

Is that all you eat?

Peanut butter and jelly? No.

Wait, just hold this while I,

well, I'll, I'll bring it right back.

Sure, sure glad Dad didn't get

that crabby old Aunt Meg.

Well, look, Chip, somebody's got to take care of the house.

Besides, Bub may be gone

for ten days or more.

Well, we can forget about Mrs. Hodgekiss.

She's got jury duty.

Jury duty?

I wish she'd get a phone.

It'd save me some gas.

Well, we got to get somebody.

She said we might try Sylvia Horton.

Yeah, I forgot about her.

I'll give her a call. Need some help here?

No, I'm all through with this.

Why don't you get started with the dishes?

Now, come on, you fellows, eat up and, uh,

help Mike with the dishes, will you?

No.

This oatmeal tastes kind of funny.

How could oatmeal taste funny?

It's just oatmeal.

One sandwich enough for you, Chip?

Sure, Dad.

Okay.

Well, you, you sure you put everything in?

What, in the oatmeal? Sure.

What's there to put in?

You put oatmeal and water and that's it.

The only thing he could have left out, he put in.

If you left that out, all you'd have is a bowl of hot water.

That's right, Chip.

Well, let's see if we can get a hold

of Sylvia Horton.

Salt!

Salt?

Yeah!

Bub always puts salt in the water.

That's what I forgot.

Well, we'll get Sylvia Horton over here

and she can put salt in the water.

Quit making such a big production of it

and salt it yourself.

Hey, Robbie, how about a little coffee?

No, thanks, Dad.

I didn't mean for you, I meant for me.

Oh.

Hello.

Uh, could I speak to Sylvia Horton, please?

Oh.

Oh, well, Mrs. Horton, uh,

this is Steven Douglas and, uh,

we're in a kind of a jam over here again.

And I wondered if your daughter could come over and help us out?

She did?

In June?

Well.

Well, I'm sorry that...

No, no, I don't mean I'm sorry about that.

Yes, I'm sure she is.

Well, thank you for...

Yes, I'm sure they will be, Mrs. Horton.

Yes. Well, thank you... Yes.

Oh, that's, that's, that's very true, Mrs. Horton.

You haven't lost a daughter, no.

You gained a son.

Who'd want to marry Sylvia Horton?

Well, thank you.

Yes.

Yes. Thank you.

Well, th... thank you, Mrs... Yes.

Thank you, Mrs. Horton. Yes.

Phew.

She can't come.

Say, what about an employment agency?

Yeah, I guess that's what we'll have to do.

Holy froly, I didn't think it was that late.

I've got to shave and get dressed and get out of here.

Now, you take care of it, will you, Mike?

Yeah, what do you want me to do?

Well, just look up an agency

that specializes in domestics.

Tell 'em what we need. You know, uh,

somebody to, uh, well, you know.

What's a domestic?

What do you think?

How come you ask so many questions?

Didn't you when you were my age?

No.

Oh, my gosh.

I'll be right out!

Uh, Robbie,

give this domestic place a call, will you,

and tell them our problem.

If you get into trouble, Dad's upstairs.

Well, I'm in a hurry, too.

Go on. Do it.

It's not gonna kill you.

I did the dishes, didn't I?

Well, they don't look done to me.

Chip, call this domestic place for Dad,

will you? Why don't you?

Look, it won't hurt you to do something for a change.

What have you done?

I poured a cup of coffee for Dad, didn't I?

Well, okay.

When you get somebody on the line, yell for Dad.

Good morning.

Domestic Bliss Incorporated.

Hey, Dad,

the domestic place is on the phone.

Uh, Domestic Bliss Incorporated.

Good morning.

Hey, Dad, pick up the phone!

Mike was gonna take care of that.

Domestic Bliss. Hello?

Hey, Dad,

the domestic place is on the phone!

Okay, Chip, I'll get it.

He knows I'm late.

Hello?

Hello?

Bub had to go to Plainfield.

My dad has three kids and he needs someone to come in,

'cause we don't have a mother.

Hello.

Hello?

Hello. Hello.

Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Hi, Dad. Oh, hi, Chip.

No, I-I, I've got it, Chip.

May I have your name, sir?

Uh, Steven Douglas.

I live at 837 Mill Street and we...

And you're looking for a lady to share your home with you

and your three children?

Uh, yes, we, we would like her to live in,

if that's what you mean.

Very well, Mr. Douglas.

We'll send an interviewer out late this afternoon.

An interviewer?

Well, is that necessary?

I, I was hoping to get a woman right away.

Patience, Mr. Douglas.

A mistake at this point could mean a lifetime of misery.

But don't worry.

I'm sure we'll find just the woman you're looking for.

Well, fine.

But, uh, the sooner the better.

Good-bye.

Good afternoon, Domestic Aid Service.

No, ma'am. I'm sorry.

We don't have a cook, handy man, gardener.

But we do have a cook, chauffeur, gardener.

And a cook, handy man, chauffeur.

And... oh,

here's an interesting combination.

A... Hmm?

Oh, I'm sorry if I've confused you.

Yes, ma'am, I'll call you

if your combination should come up.

Good-bye.

If you want to see Mr. Henderson, he's out to lunch.

And Miss Franklin, too.

Oh, it must have been Miss Franklin I talked to.

Uh, but I'm sure you can take care of it.

I want to cancel an interview.

Oh, gee, I don't know anything about that.

I'm afraid I can't help you.

What's your name?

Steven Douglas.

Hmm.

You-you see, I was supposed to have this interview

late this afternoon.

And I happened to be in the neighborhood,

so I thought I could speed things up

a little by coming here

and giving you the information you want.

Oh, gee, I don't know.

What sort of work do you do?

Well, I'm an engineer.

No, you don't understand.

You see, I'm not looking for work.

I'm looking for somebody to work for me.

A housekeeper.

Oh, gee.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Oh.

Well, you see, my father-in-law had

to leave town suddenly Excuse me.

So we just have to have...

Good afternoon, Domestic Aid Service.

I'm sorry, they're out to lunch.

My father-in-law had leave town

and we... Good afternoon,

Domestic Aid Service.

I'm sorry, they're out to lunch.

What was your name again?

Steven Douglas.

And my father-in-law had to leave town and, uh,

we need somebody at the house A housekeeper.

Hello.

Why, hello, there.

Are you the lady from the domestic place?

I'm Mrs. Barr.

Aren't you the little boy I talked to

on the phone this morning?

Yes, ma'am. You want to come in?

Why, thank you.

Excuse me, sir.

Is your daddy home?

No, ma'am. He's working.

Oh, I see.

You want some ice cream?

No, thanks.

Well, as long as I'm here,

maybe you could answer some questions.

It might hurry things along.

Okay.

I know Dad wants to get a woman as soon as he can.

Are you as anxious to have a lady in the house

as your father is?

Oh, sure, especially if she's a good cook.

How cute.

Now, I have to get an idea of what your house looks like.

How would you like to show me around

and I can ask you questions as we go?

Okay. The kitchen's out here.

Come on, Tramp.

How old are you, dear?

And, uh, what are the ages of your brothers?

I'm eight.

And Robbie's going to high school pretty soon.

And Mike's got a driving license and whiskers.

Want to see my dad's room?

Oh, yes.

The master bedroom is one of the most important rooms on my list.

Oh, this is nice.

Of course, it's understandably

a little masculine right now.

But she could put a, a-a cute little dressing table there.

And... Hello.

Perhaps some fluffy curtains here at the window.

Down, fella, down.

She might want to change the walls.

Possibly peach, or, uh, dusty rose.

Jeepers. Is she gonna stay in here?

Of course, Chip.

This is where your father would want her to stay.

Boy, I guess Dad'll have to move in with Mike.

Well, I have to be going.

I have another appointment to make.

Oh, my gosh.

Jean, I'll be right over.

Mike, this is Dad.

Oh, hi, Dad.

Hi. Now look,

I just had a call from the domestic aid service

and they found someone for us

and they're sending her out to the house as soon as they can.

And, uh, I thought I'd be away from the office,

but I'm still tied up here so would you do something for me?

Oh, gee, Dad, I'd, I'd like to but I'm, I'm late already.

Here, you better talk to Robbie.

Now, wait a minute, Mike.

What's up? Dad's found a woman.

He'll tell you all about it.

No kidding, Dad. When's she getting here?

Well, any time now, Rob.

Now look, I'll get away from here as soon as I can,

but in case she gets there before I do,

you show her where she's to stay and make her feel welcome.

Now that we've found somebody, we don't want to lose her.

Okay, Dad. See you later.

Hey, who's going to do the dishes?

Don't ask me.

I did them this morning.

You what?!

I cooked a...

Hey, wait a minute. You didn't do the...

So long.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hot dog!

Saved by the Boy Scouts!

"And if the new woman gets here before Dad,

"show her where to stay and try not to act too dumb.

See you after the Scout meeting, Robbie."

Howdy.

What's your name, honey?

Chip, ma'am.

I'm Leona.

Domestic Aid Service sent me out.

Come on in. Oh.

Whoo-ee!

Dad isn't home yet.

Want me to help you with some of that?

I sure do.

I've been hauling this junk clear across the country.

Just got in from Potter Falls this afternoon.

It's going to feel awful good to get settled in somewhere.

Where's my room, honey?

Upstairs.

Upstairs?

Well, I'll be darned.

It's going to feel sort of nice to sleep upstairs

with the family for a change.

Whoo-ee!

Them are some stairs.

Here's Dad's room.

Ah, thank you, sugar.

Sakes alive!

You sure I'm supposed to be in here?

That's what the lady from the domestic place said.

Whose room did you say this was?

Well, it used to be my dad's, but he's moving in with Mike.

I think I'm going to like this just fine.

Let's just dump my junk over here in the corner, hmm?

Till your daddy finish getting his stuff moved.

There we go.

Thank you, sugar.

Now... It's okay.

I think you're going to like my dad.

If he's as nice as you are, sugar,

I'm sure we're going to get along just fine.

I'll be right back.

I'm going over to Squeezy's house

and help him feed his garter snake.

All right, sugar.

I'm just going to get in that tub and soak for hours.

She didn't show up. I wonder what happened?

If she doesn't get here pretty quick,

we're going to run out of dishes.

Boy, what a mess.

Well, it's about time.

Oh, how do you do?

Mr. Douglas?

Yes. Come right in, won't you? Thank you.

I thought you'd be out here earlier, but, uh...

Is that all? I mean, don't you have a suitcase?

Patience, Mr. Douglas.

I'm afraid you're a little overeager.

Yes, I guess I am.

Things have kind of piled up on us around here.

Well, I guess we'd better start out in the kitchen first.

I'm sorry.

I, I bet you'd like to see your room.

Hold on, Mr. Douglas.

I'm Mrs. Barr.

Well, it's nice to know you, Mrs. Barr.

Of course, it isn't a very big one...

Listen, Mr. Douglas...

but it's very convenient.

It's right here off the kitchen. Wait!

I'm just the interviewer.

The interviewer?

I thought that was all taken care of.

Your office said they were sending a woman right out.

I can fully appreciate your impatience, Mr. Douglas.

But we have found out that this ounce of precaution...

Well, it looks like I have no choice.

Won't you come in and sit down?

Oh, thank you.

Of course, this is the, uh,

first time I've worked through an agency.

I mean, I didn't realize it entailed so much...

I promise to scurry right through all this.

Douglas... Steven.

Occupation?

Uh, engineer.

Missile engineer.

Missile?

Now, tell me, Mr. Douglas, do you have any preference

in terms of height, weight and complexion?

None.

You don't?

No. Why should I care how she looks?

Just as long as she's presentable.

Strange.

Strange?

Well, I just figure the less particular I am,

the sooner I'll get someone.

I see.

Searching... for a woman

who has inner beauty.

Do you admire a woman who is artistically creative

and highly imaginative?

Well, just as long as her high imagination

doesn't get in the way of the housework.

Is it necessary for the lady to have an active interest

in your business and hobbies?

Well, as a matter of act, I'd prefer it if she kept

her active interest out of my business.

Mrs. Barr, all I expect her to do is work.

What I need is help.

Just plain, old-fashioned, floor-scrubbing,

food-cooking, pot-washing, bed-making help.

Mr. Douglas...

through all my 25 years in this profession,

I've never met a man like you.

Well, thank you.

I don't know of any woman who could share your home

under the conditions you've named.

I beg your pardon?

Does a woman really mean no more to you than a floor-scrubbing,

pot-washing slave?

Slave?

Why, I intend to pay her.

Money?!

Well, sure, and then she'll have her usual days off.

Shame!

Mr. Douglas, for shame.

Money and the usual days off

in return for a lifetime of drudgery.

Lifetime?

Mrs. Barr, didn't I make it clear to you that this is

only to be a temporary arrangement?

Temporary?

Yes, just to, uh...

A relationship of this kind cannot be entered into

on a temporary, trial basis.

Would you excuse me?

Apologies are too late, Mr. Douglas.

You're mid-Victorian, tyrannical attitude

toward women is out of place in the 20th century.

Material benefits are no longer enough to hold a woman.

She needs understanding, companionship.

In a word, Mr. Douglas, love.

Where'd that come from?

Oh, don't play innocent. Everybody knows that.

Hello?

Hello, Steve.

Oh, hi, Bub.

I can't understand you.

There must be some kind of interference.

Well, it's a tea kettle here in the...

Oh, I just wish there were some sort of law to protect women

from men like you.

May I suggest that next time, you hire an employment agency?

Howdy. Oh, howdy. Thank you.

Hi, Dad. Hi, Mrs. Barr.

Hi, Leona. Hi!

How do you like Dad's room?

Just fine, honey, just fine.

You there?! Excuse me.

Oh, operator, operator... Chip?

Steve, what's going on?

Well, a slight emergency, Bub. No...

Well, there is a little problem.

Uh, call me back in ten minutes, will you?

I may know something by then.

Would you excuse me, please?

Chip!

Chip!

Well, if you hadn't trotted out to your Boy Scout meeting

instead of staying... It wasn't my fault.

I mean, if he could read, we wouldn't have gotten

the wrong number in the first place.

I can read all right.

My finger was wrong.

Well, next time, use a ruler, will you?

Now, look, fellows,

this whole thing started because of passing the buck.

Now, the next time you're given a job to do,

you go right ahead and do it

without asking someone to do it for you.

Plenty more cookies and cocoa downstairs, boys.

Boy, I'll have some more.

You've got to get to bed.

Especially you, Chipper, get in there.

I'll just get my junk out of your way, Mr. Douglas.

Okay. I'm sorry about this mix-up, Leona.

Why don't you give Leona a hand, huh?

Yeah, give her a hand, will you, Robbie?

What I don't understand, Chip,

is why you put Leona in here in the first place?

Well, if you'd have been here like you were supposed to be.

Oh, now, quit passing the buck.

That's right.

Now take Chip over there, for example.

I ask you fellows to help Leona with her things

and Chip went ahead and did it without passing the buck.

Who could I pass it to?

Don't you worry, Chip.

Leona's going to take care of you.

When you come home from school tomorrow,

I'm going to have a homemade lemon pie

with meringue that high.

And a big jar of my special sugar cookies.

Uh, Chip, Leona... I'm coming, Leona...

Good night, Dad.

What a day.

I didn't think it was ever going to end,

but it looks like it's finally going to make it.

How'd I ever get in that deal like that one today?

You can never tell what's going to happen around this house?

Well, it just shows you,

if you got a sense of humor, don't worry about things,

they have a way of working themselves out.

Oh, man, this bed's going to feel good.

Well, it just goes to show you,

there's no use worrying about things.

Things have a way of taking care of themselves.

Just have a sense of humor about things.

Have faith...

Don't let things get you down.

If you just let them alone,

they'll... take care of themselves.

Just keep smiling, and the important thing is

a good night's sleep.

And... after a good night's sleep,

you're going to wake up in the morning...

things are almost like they never happened.

When things get you down...

A good night's sleep takes care of a lot of things, too.

Kinda take care of themselves, given time.

But sleep, that's the thing.

Sleep.

It unravels the knitted...

It unravels the knitted... Sleep.

It knits the unravel...

"Sleep... that knits the raveled sleeve."

Yeah. That's it.