All language subtitles for Medium S01E03 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 5.1 H.264-TrollHD_track3_[eng]

WOMAN:
Tim, listen to me.

A certain amount of
selfishness is good.

A marriage without selfishness

is a marriage
without pleasure.

And a marriage without
pleasure is doomed.

Yes, we love. Yes, we give.

Yes, we want
to make our partner happy.

But it's like that
announcement

they make on the airplane.

If the cabin should
suddenly lose pressure,

first you must attend
to your own oxygen mask,

then put on your child's,

your partner's.

Do you follow me?

Okay, then.

The rest is simple.

You want to do something
with Donna.

To Donna.

You've wanted to do it
for a long time,

but you thought it was wrong.

You thought Donna
wouldn't understand.

You thought society
wouldn't understand.

Well, today you're
going to do it.

Right here. Right now.

Okay. Stand up.

Tim.

Nothing can happen unless you
stand up and face your wife.

Now come on.

Are you embarrassed?

Are you embarrassed to
do it in front of me?

Don't be embarrassed.

I've seen it all.

Now come on.

Stand up and face your wife.

( gunshot )

Excellent, Tim.

Excellent job.

( gasps )

( groans )

What's going on?

We fell asleep
watching the news.

It's almost 2:00 in the morning.

Yep.

Oh, I just had
the weirdest dream.

Of course you did.

It's a day that ends in "Y".

( birds chirping )

Joe?

Girls?

( indistinct chattering )

But I feel funny
not telling Mommy.

But if you tell Mommy,
it won't be a surprise.

Right.

Hello, my sneaky family.

You don't give a dentist candy,

you don't buy
a kitten for a veterinarian,

and you don't plan a surprise
party for someone like me.

Who said anyone was planning
a surprise party for you?

All right, fine.
You tell the kids.

They're the ones who wanted

to have the early
morning meeting.

They're the ones that are really
fired up about your birthday.

Really?
So it was their idea, not yours?

Hey, do I look like
a fool to you?

You are a deeply disturbed man.

Thank you, darling.

Now, listen, as long as you
know about everything,

there's a list of things

they say they need
for the party.

I can't get them
until Saturday.

( chuckles ):
You want me to buy

supplies for my own
surprise party?

Well, it's not like it's going
to ruin it for you.

Well, okay, fine.

You're the one that's going

to be disappointed when all
the good piñatas are gone.

So what do you
make of that dream?

Some guy kills his wife?

I don't mean
to make you nervous,

but that happens every day.

At the marriage counselor?

Every other day.

With the therapist
urging him on?

I take your point.

I know it's not
a realistic dream.

If that had really happened,

it would
have made the headlines.

I just can't figure out whether
or not to mention it at work.

What do you mean?
To the D.A.?

Why would you do that?

I don't know, I must have
dreamt it for a reason.

Yeah, and the reason is,

the TV was on,
and subconsciously

you were listening

to a bunch of lunatics
who are married

talk about how they want
to kill each other.

That's true.

Which is why the next time

we fall asleep with
the television on,

I'm going to make sure
we got a little

soft-core something going on.

You get my meaning, woman?

Go to work.

Oh, yeah. She heard me.

Call Maury Povich.

Tell him
I'm ready for my close-up.

( sighing ):
Ha-ha.

( cell phone ringing )

Detective Scanlon.

WOMAN:
Scanlon? This is Dispatch.

What's your 20?

I'm at a crime scene
in Scottsdale.

Scottsdale?
That's not in your jurisdiction.

I'm having a difficult
time copying you.

Why don't you call me back
in 15 minutes?

( cell phone ringing )

Detective Scanlon.

Detective Scanlon?
I guess we were disconnected.

The Lieutenant
was looking for you.

May I connect?

Absolutely. Put him through.

( cell phone ringing )

( ringing stops )

Manny.

Thanks for coming.

You're the best.

Yeah, well,
I'm starting to think

that I'm the most naive.

Every one of these men wants to
know what I'm doing here.

Every one of these men wants
to know what you're doing here.

Tell 'em to take a 'lude.
It's a crime scene.

Lee, I'm not going to tell
anyone to take anything.

And as a matter of fact,
no, it's not.

It's not a crime scene.

Not the way you mean.

This is a murder-suicide.

This man killed his wife,

then he killed himself,
and that's how

the Coroner's going to find

and that's how the City's
going to record it.

There's no need
for a prosecutor,

there's no need for a detective.

Particularly one who's

outside his jurisdiction
and is on the verge

of being suspended.

Manny, you ever seen this?

What?

Bowling for Columbine.

-I think so.
-Belongs to them.

They owned it.

It's like the Gone With the Wind

-of gun control movies.
-Yeah? So?

So you're telling me a young,
married couple

whose idea of a hot Friday night

is watching an anti-
NRA documentary

keep an unregistered,
loaded .32

in their apartment--
I don't think so.

Someone did this.

This is like
the other ones, Manny.

They're connected.

Yeah.

But why are you
the only one who sees it?

You know, I've never
really shared with anyone

who you are or what you do.

Okay.

But I have a friend,
he's a police detective.

He called me this morning,
wants me to go to the mayor,

get funding for
a special task force.

What kind of task force?

For the past two years or
so he's been obsessed

with a string of deaths
here in Phoenix.

And?

And it's destroying his career.

He's ignoring
all his other work.

I don't think his personal life

is anything to write
home about either.

I don't understand...

He sees a crime where others
just see personal turmoil.

He sees a pattern where others
see only random tragedy.

He'll tell you
all about it.

He's waiting for you
up at the crime scene.

I've asked them
to leave the bodies

and everything else they found

exactly the way they found it.

I was pretty vague with him.

I told him that you were someone

who worked for me,
someone I trust.

Listen to what
he has to say.

Look at the things
he wants to show you.

Tell me what you think.

Okay.

Thanks.

Hello?

SCANLON:
Up here.

Put some booties

and gloves on first, though.

District Attorney Devalos
asked me to stop by.

Are you his friend?

Guilty as charged.

Detective Scanlon.

Allison. Allison Dubois.

So what do we have here?

Young married couple
found shot to death.

Guy was 29. Girl 27.

Coroner thinks
the husband put a bullet

in his wife's head, then
turned the gun on himself.

So what do you
think happened?

I don't know. Not that.

"Not that"?

That's your basis
for a task force?

"Not that"?

Look, I don't know what it is
exactly you do with the D.A.

I don't know
what your specialty is.

Forensics? Linguistics?
Criminology?

Maybe you were with
the FBI or the CSI

or the CIA
or the kiss my ass.

Don't misunderstand me.

I don't mean any disrespect,
but me, I'm just a cop.

Not a specialist.
Started in Traffic control.

Glorified crossing guard.

And I'm here to tell
you that I could

look into a windshield
30 feet away

and tell you if the driver
was going to see the stop sign

I was holding up or if he was
going to run the intersection.

And I was always right.

Instinct.

It got me this far,
so I listen to it.

Is there anything else?

Yeah.

In the past 27 months,
there have been three cases

in the Greater Phoenix area
of supposed murder-suicides

among couples
married little more than a year.

Well, they do say the first
year's the hardest.

I wouldn't know.

But what I do know is, in
the 90-some years prior to that,

in fact for as long
as they kept records,

there wasn't one other case
thought to be murder-suicide

among couples married more than
one year but less than two.

Not one.

Well, these
are complicated times.

Phoenix is a bigger than
it's ever been before.

People get married,

there are bound
to be disappointments,

temptations...

( sighs )

The first couple...

was my sister and her husband.

I'm sorry.

He would've killed for her.
She would've killed for him.

There's nothing
complicated about it.

They didn't do it to each other.

Someone did it to them.

Same thing here.

So, how do you want to do this?

Do you want to wait outside,

or-or should I call you or...?

What do you mean?

I need to be alone,
so I can concentrate.

Oh.

All right.

All right.

( eerie breathing sound )

Nice to see you again.

They did a wonderful job,
don't you think?

Really rose to the occasion.

Actually, I don't know
what to think.

Who are you?

Are you dead, too?

Me? No. I'm... no one.

I'm not even a real person.

I'm just energy left behind
by the two of them.

A way for them
to communicate with you.

Through your dreams last night.

Here, now.

They'd speak to you themselves,

but their souls
are still in shock.

Both their souls.

You see, this happened

not because one was angry
with the other.

This happened because
each loved the other

more than life itself.

It's important to them
you understand this.

( gasps )

( groans )

A third person?

And you're certain of this?

Can I tell you who it is? No.

Can I tell you what
they were doing there? Uh-uh.

Can I tell you why
all this happened? No.

Not yet. But I do agree
with Detective Scanlon.

This is not something

that these two people
did to each other.

This is something
that was done to them.

( slapping desk )

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So what'd you pick up?
A third set of fingerprints?

A hair sample?

Maybe there was something
about the wounds?

Lee...

Allison specializes in a more...

unconventional branch
of criminology.

Okay. So what is it
convinced you?

Some kind of evidence, right?

Something Manny here can
take into a court of law?

Something he can use to...
persuade the mayor

to fund a task force,

get some manpower and some
resources on this case?

( clears throat )

I had a dream the other night.

Oh, crap.

Shoot me now.

She's not a criminologist
at all, is she?

Allison is an extraordinarily
sensitive and intuitive person

who I've worked with to great
effect on a number of cases.

Do I have the word "jackass"
stenciled across my forehead?!

All right, you need
to lower you voice.

Oh, my God!

Did you hear what I said?

What do I look like
to you, Manny?

She's one of those sob-sister
fortunetellers

that crawls out
from under a rock

when you can't find
the missing kid

and it's been over a year

and the parents are
getting desperate

and they'll listen

to just about anyone, isn't she?

Point in fact,
up until recently,

Mrs. Dubois was a very
accomplished law student...

What were you thinking?

How the hell is she going
to get me a task force?!

What are you going to do?

Walk up to the mayor

and tell him she had a dream?

No, seriously. Answer me that.

How is putting me together
with Milli Vanilli

the Psychic here
gonna get me a task force?

You're right.
That was never gonna happen.

Would you mind telling me
just what was the point?

The point-- assuming
she agreed with you

that there was something
worth investigating--

was that Mrs. Dubois
is your task force.

That's it.
She's all the resources

anyone is ever gonna
give you, period.

Oh, boy, you really

know how to make
a girl feel special.

You're insane.

And you're insaner.

And you do have the word "ass"

tattooed on your forehead
except it doesn't have

a "jack" in front of it!

Don't you want to know
about the other three cases?

Seeing as how I seem
to be the only person

on the planet who agrees
with you even a little bit?

Wouldn't you want to know
if I see any similarities?

I don't know what's she
talking about, Manny.

I don't have three other
crime scenes to take her to.

Give her a set
of the crime scene photos.

Will that do it?

Well, it's a start.

She's here!

Daddy, she's here!
I'll watch the baby.

Whew!

( rapping on glass )

You just aged me by ten years.

And that would make you
a whopping 38.

Very nice. Good recovery.

I think I'll keep ya.

So, listen, so when you
walk through that door,

the kids are going
to be all over you.

I told them I needed
them to distract you

so I could sneak
all the party stuff

out of my car
and into the house.

Out of your car.

Yeah.

Of course, because you bought it

because you are superdaddy
and a superhusband

trying to pull off a
supersurpise party for...

For my 28-year-old wife.

You're really pushing your luck.

Wow, the things you won't do

to try and spice
up our love life.

I don't know about you,
but this does nothing for me.

It's not funny.
These people are really dead.

Boy, as you get older,

approaching your 30s
and everything,

you're really starting to
lose your sense of humor.

You know, you've gotten
every bit of mileage

you can out of that joke.

Someone's in a good mood.

The more I look
at these pictures,

the less sense everything makes.

( yawning )

So, why don't you tell Devalos

to take you off
whatever this is?

Tell him you're
not getting anything.

Well, that's just it. I am.

It's just what I'm getting
doesn't add up.

And it's not just Devalos.

There's this cop.
This detective.

You should have heard him
talking about his instincts.

Suddenly when it became
about my instincts,

about him working with me?

Well, that would be insane.

I must be insane.

Well, then, this is
perfect, isn't it?

You don't like him.

Sounds like he doesn't like you.

The things you're
sensing about this case

aren't clarifying anything.

All great reasons to
respectfully remove yourself.

Hmm. Well, I might
just do that.

I might just do that.

Good. I'm glad
I could be of help.

( alarm clock beeping )

( groans )

That makes no sense.

I'm just telling you
what I saw.

What you dreamt.

What I saw in my dreams.

Help me out here,
will you, Manny?

All right, let me see
if I can understand this.

You would see their faces...

They came to me in flashes,
like crime scene photos.

Right. But always
the husband first.

Yes.

And always having
already been shot.

And that makes you think
that the husbands died first?

Allison, the husband
was always found

at the crime scene
with the gun in his hand

covered with blowback
and powder residue.

You can't kill yourself first
and then kill your wife.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Could you remind the detective

that I am on his side?

It's all right. Tell her
I appreciate the help.

But I would really prefer it

if her theories
made a little more sense.

Excuse me?

But with all due respect, ma'am,

all you do is come up

with things that contradict
the physical evidence.

That kind of help I don't need.

At least I have a theory.
What's yours?

You've been on this two years
and what have you come up with?

"My sister's husband
wouldn't do that."

-Frankly, I'm not impressed.
-Allison...

Golly, ma'am. Not impressing
you? I can't tell you

how upsetting that is.

I'll probably be awake
all night.

Lee, would you give it a rest,
please?

( intercom ringing )

I told you not now!

( sighing )

Well, I guess
this was a bad idea.

You two are clearly not meant
to work with each other.

Allison, I appreciate
your time and effort,

and I apologize for my friend's
extraordinary lack of gratitude.

Lee, I hope I can count on you
not to say anything to anyone

about who Allison is

and how we use her talents
here in the D.A.'s office.

You're kidding, right?

Is there anything else
you would like to share

before I put this investigation
to bed once and for all?

No.

We're done.

Yes, there's one thing.

Like I suspected,

when I looked
at the crime photos,

I always saw three people
at every one of the killings.

Except for...

this one.

This one had four people.

Oh, four now? Well, the killer
bring a friend with him?

Damn it, Lee!

Hey, Task Force,
you got any idea

what any of these people
actually might look like?

I mean, that would
give us a real leg up.

Are they male? Are they female?

It doesn't work like that.

I don't see them. I feel them.

Oh, well, okay, so
does it feel like an Anglo guy

or a Latin guy? Is he black?

Or maybe he's got
kind of an Asian feel?

Wow, she's right.

You are an ass.

Thanks for that vote
of confidence.

Yeah, and as far

as this not being
what it appears to be?

Well, there's an old expression:

If it walks like a duck
and talks like a duck,

then it is a duck.

Personally, I think
you're up to your knees

in a duck pond, Detective.

Pardon me, um,
Mr. District Attorney,

The Third Precinct
keeps calling,

and they were wondering
if you could run down there.

Apparently, they have
some kind of situation.

All right.
Tell them I'm on my way.

Allison, Detective Scanlon.

Idiot.

Sorry to make you
come across town,

but the chief wanted
to cut you in early.

Cut me in early on what?

Our guys were called
to a homicide last night

and they brought this guy in,

but nobody can quite
get a fix on whether

he's the victim or perpetrator.

And he's like,
"I'm doing an experiment.

A social experiment."

And he's standing there
in my house;

ski mask, you know?

He's about my height,
I think. I don't know.

And he's pointing a gun
at me and my wife.

And I'm like... "experiment"?
What kind of experiment?"

And I'm talking, you know?

'Cause I'm thinking.
Talking is good.

Talking is better
than dying, you know?

And he's like, "You love her?"

He's pointing at my wife.

I'm like, "Of course
I love her. She's my wife!"

He goes, "Okay, here's the deal.

You shoot her and
we'll let you live."

And I'm like, "What?!
Are you... are you insane?"

He's like, "No, I'm
a social scientist,

you bourgeois A-hole!"

And he takes his gun
and he puts it

right under my chin, right here,
and he goes, "Okay, lab rat,

"you shoot her
or I'll shoot you both.

Make a choice. You wanna live?
You wanna live?"

And I'm like, "Yeah,
of course! Of course!

And he goes, "Okay, so do it.

Choose life! Shoot her!"

And she's wailing, you
know? She's screaming,

and you can't even make out
what she's saying, even.

And for a second, like, I almost
thought she was saying, "Do it.

And I'm thinking,
"Do it? Shoot my wife?"

I can't! I can't do that.
I can't do that!

And then, and then the gun
was... the gun was so light...

the gun was so...

And then I'm thinking,
"Oh, I see,

"I get it. It's a joke.

It's a freakin' joke," you know?

And he's got his gun right here
and she's wailing, so I did it.

I pulled the trigger.

Mr. Conrad,
so am I to understand

that you're now admitting
to what happened?

Admitting that you
did kill your wife?

No. No.

It's like I said before.
I did pull the trigger,

but nothing happened.
It went "chik". Nothing.

It's an empty gun.

And that guy laughed.

And he goes, "You're the
first one to ever do it.

"You're the first one
I've ever met.

Congratulations."

And then he just stood
behind me, holding me

and sudden I felt his gun leave
my chin and ( mimics gunshot ).

He shot her.

( mimics gunshot )

And I could feel...
I could feel her...

her blood, I guess.

Skin and stuff hit
me in the face...

in the chest.

And then he just...

handed me the gun,
the real gun...

and he left.

So what do you make of that?

Yeah, track down Lee Scanlon.

Ask him to come down to the
Third Precinct right away.

Ask Allison to come along, too.

DEVALOS: And do you have any
idea how this mysterious man

in a ski mask gained entry

to your home, Mr. Conrad?

No. I have no idea.

I came home from work,
I walked in the door,

and there he was, a gun
to my wife's head,

talking about how he's
this social scientist guy

and how we've been
specially chosen

to be part of his experiment.

So let me ask you
this question.

Why do you think a killer
would go through all the trouble

to find a way to discreetly
enter your home,

confront you and your wife,
kill your wife

in cold blood right
in front of you

and then let you live?

Don't you think
he'd worry that

you'd do the very thing
you're doing now?

Describe what happened,
describe him to the police?

Why would he do that?

I... I don't know.

You think I did it, don't you?

I didn't say that, sir.

Well, you don't have to be a
mind reader to figure it out!

I guess because I did it.

He told me he'd let me live
if I did it,

and then I did it.

( sniffling ):
I mean not really, but...

I showed him that I could...

that I would.

I mean, think about it.

I know it sounds crazy.

I mean, it is crazy!

But maybe it's not that crazy.

I mean, here I am,

telling you about what happened,

and you're thinking I'm crazy
or I'm lying.

Which is what he wants you
to think, right?

So, actually if you think
about it, it's not that crazy.

In fact, that's pretty smart.

Right?

He's heading over
to the crime scene.

He asked me to ask you
if you'd like to go along.

So I hear you wanted
some company.

Did someone have
a change of heart?

Nah. Same old heart.

Remember yesterday
when you said

you thought there were
four people there

when my sister
and her husband...

Didn't make sense
to me at first...

then I remembered.

My sister was three-and-a-half
months pregnant when she died.

Hey, Joe, this is Bill.

Gosh, I hope I'm calling
the right number.

Uh, listen,

Jenny and I would love to
come to the surprise party.

We both remember meeting Allison
at the company Christmas party

and we've been meaning to call
and get together ever since,

so this is, uh, this is perfect.

Anyway, count us in.

Uh... Friday night.

Your house. 8:00.

See ya.

That was great.

It's incredible.

Thanks. And, uh,
I can count on you?

Mm-hmm.

Two tickets. "Our Town".
At the Church. Starring you.

Break a leg.

How does this work?

I don't know.

Whoever made me this way forgot
to give me an instruction book.

I like those.

Could you stop doing that?

Stop what?

I think I need some fresh air.

You feeling any better?

You seen many dead people
in your life?

The reason I ask is, I've
actually seen quite a few.

It's funny you come
to a crime scene,

you see them laying there,

the first place you
look is their eyes.

You know better,
but it's just... natural.

You want to believe there's
some kind of answer there,

but there's nothing.

For me anyway, but...
not for you, huh?

There were flashes,
like from a camera.

And you know what else
is strange?

The other night, I... I dreamt
in pictures... photographs.

I mean, have to keep
reminding myself

that we're looking for a killer,
not a photographer

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

Planning a wedding?

Shopping for a photographer?

I don't know.

SCANLON:
Just an instinct.

( Bridgette screaming )

Bridgette! If you don't
let me brush those knots

out of your hair, we're going
to have to chop it all off!

Don't let her chop my head off!

JOE:
Chop your head off?

Aw, you bringing your work
home with you again?

Let me at her!

Um, can I make a suggestion?

Why don't we call in an expert.

Somebody with beautifully
maintained hair,

who also knows a thing or two
about dealing with kids.

Hmm...

Ariel!

Oh, no!

( chuckling )

Or you can do it yourself.

Foiled again!

Ow!

Wow. You one of those people
who can talk out their ass?

It's not funny.

Kind of funny.

Great. We have a message.

( phone beeps )

( sharp exhale )

Hey, it's Bill...

Hmm, nice. It's someone
named Bill from your office.

Huh.

He's calling to RSVP
for my surprise party!

Cool.

You're actually
very good at this.

You're quite the little
the party planner

and quite the surpriser.

Hey, you don't buy candy
for a dentist,

you don't give a kitten
to a vet,

and you don't waste time
trying to surprise someone

who's always one step
ahead of you.

8:00. Hmm.

Tomorrow.

Friday night at your house...

Here?

( phone beeps )

You invited everyone here?

Well, yeah. Why not?

Well, for one thing, who
are you gonna get to clean

all day tomorrow so you'll
be ready to have this party?

You're joking.

Well, I mean as long as
you're not working.

It's... it's my party!

It's supposed to be
for me! It's my birthday!

That's all the more
incentive to...

( phone ringing )

Aren't you going to get that?

Why? It's one of the wicked
stepsisters calling

to say she's coming
to the ball,

but she wants me to stop
and clean her fireplace.

Hello?

Yes.

For you.

Hello.

Yes, Detective Scanlon?

Sorry to be calling
your house so late,

but you want to hear
an interesting coincidence?

The man who photographed
Conrad's wedding

also photographed
Tim and Donna's.

Wow.

And my sister's.

SCANLON: Feeling like paying him
a visit tomorrow?

Work.

Tomorrow.

Hmm.

Absolutely.

As long as I'm home before 8:00.

Okay. Thank you.

( phone beeps )

( pounding on door )

SCANLON:
Mr. Rondell?

This is the Phoenix Police.
I have a search warrant.

You want to open up
and let us in?

( thudding )

( yells )

Go, go, go, go!

It's clear, it's all clear!

( voices over police dispatch )

Any idea how your
sister found this guy?

She really doesn't want you
to see her like this.

OFFICER:
Detective?

Mr. District Attorney?

Look at the files
he kept on these people.

My God.

What? First he'd photograph
their weddings,

then it's... like he owned them.

He studied them.
They were his test subjects.

There's gotta be hundreds
of contact sheets

of this couple's
comings and goings.

They didn't even know
they were being watched.

Going to work,
getting the mail,

birthday parties...

Death.

He'd give them a year
of marriage, and then...

just after their
first anniversaries...

I think you need
to look at these.

These must be works in progress.

We've got wedding photos,
some surveillance, but no...

I wonder who's next.

This couple. Tonight.

How in the hell
do you know that?

Your sister told me.

( sniffling )

( sobbing )

Welcome home.

We've been waiting for you.

Close the door, please,

and step into the room
where we can see you?

Thank you.

We're conducting an experiment,
a social experiment.

And your lovely bride
and I would both

very much like you
to participate,

if you would just...

Who are you?

I'm Detective Lee Scanlon
with the Phoenix Police,

and you're under arrest for the
murder of my sister, Lorraine.

Now drop that gun,
and I'll read you your rights.

( distant siren wailing )

Or you can try something stupid

and we'll get a priest in here

to read you
a different set of rights.

( siren continues )

( car pulling to a stop )

Please, give me an excuse.

( sobbing )

( distant siren wailing )

Put your hands behind your head.

-You have the right to
remain silent. -Fascinating.

It's an absolutely
fascinating display.

Anything you say can
and will be used

against you in
a court of law.

You have the right to counsel.

You so obviously
wanted to kill me...

If you are unable
to retain counsel...

...and easily could have.

...counsel will be
appointed for you....

And yet, convention
and society and a host

of other outside forces
convinced you

that your own survival...

...you will still
have the right...

...depended upon
your ability to suppress

your desire for revenge
and let me live,

and that's fascinating.

...are you willing
to answer questions

without an attorney present?

I'm so glad I was
here to see it.

That was extraordinarily
courageous, Lee.

I'm genuinely proud
to call you my friend.

Ah, there was nothing
courageous about it.

I knew he wasn't going to shoot.
Not her. Not me. Not anybody.

-Oh, and how did you know that?
-Oh, Allison told me.

-I did not! I did not say...
-You didn't?

...a word to you
before you went in there.

Damn. I must need a drink.

Anyone interested?

Wait a second. What time is it?

Uh, 7:35.
I do believe I'm buying

Oh, my gosh.
I completely forgot.

I have to rush home
and get surprised.

But I'll take
a rain check on that drink.

DEVALOS:
Oh, right, right, right...

Hey, guys!

Sorry I'm late for dinner!

Things got crazy at work...

and...

Hello?

Anybody home?

Okay.

I'll play.

Hello?

( sighs )

JOE:
Happy Birthday, baby.

I don't get it.
Where is everybody?

Well, let's see...

Ariel is sleeping over at
her friend Megan's house.

Bridgette's sleeping
over at Hannah's house.

And Marie is
at my sister's in Prescott.

What?

Surprised?

Confused.

Oh. Did I leave out the part
where you and I go to Mexico

for the weekend
for your birthday?

( car horn honks )

That would be the limo
to take us...

to the airport.

What about all
the party supplies...

( chuckling ):
and the phone calls?

It's not easy surprising someone

who's always
one step ahead of you.

You bastard.

Thank you.

Now hurry up and
put together a bag.

I'm going to go
out and make sure

the driver has the
champagne chilling

and gloat to myself
over the fact

that I finally
put one over on you.

( chuckles )

I don't know if I can get ready
that fast.

Well, put
your track shoes on, baby,

'cause our plane leaves
in exactly one hour.

Hey, Hot Lips, hurry up.

Driver says there's traffic.

I'm packing as fast as I can!

Okay, I'm ready.

I can't believe
you did this to me.

I hope I didn't forget anything.

Just wait till
your birthday comes.