All language subtitles for Burglar.1987.WEBRip.x264-RARBGENG

Hello?

Did you do it?

Did you do it?

Not yet.

Do it now.

Go in now.

I'm not ready.

The guy runs 20 minutes every morning.

What else do you need to know?

Ray, I'm telling you, this guy is dangerous--

Hello?

* I see *

* every move you make *

* there's nothing you can do *

* to get by me *

* my, my profession *

* baby, I'm a thief *

* wanna shake your hand *

* it's true, you'll see *

* I look for silver *

* for China, maybe gold *

* makes lots of things *

* something I can hold *

* you've really tried this time *

* I'll get my guilt while it's on my mind *

* ah, baby *

* all this fun can be no crime *

* you can't catch me *

* not the burglar *

* no way *

* try and catch me *

* each and every time, I'll get away *

hello?

Hello?

Is anybody home?

Got a package for this address.

Can you sign for it?

Thanks a lot. Have a nice day.

* you can't catch me *

* not the burglar *

* no way *

* try and catch me *

* each and every time *

* I'll get away *

* when times get rough *

* I take a look inside *

* I always found the things *

* you tried to hide *

* with each new day *

* your chances will increase *

* who'll be the next victim *

* of the thief? *

* you've really tried this time *

* I'll get my guilt while it's on my mind *

* ah, baby *

* all this fun can be no crime *

* you can't catch me *

* not the burglar *

* no way *

speak to me. Speak to me.

Ha ha.

Mmm-hmm.

Ok, honey...

Let's see what you got for me today.

Don't rush to come out, now.

Everybody gets a turn.

Very nice.

Come to mama.

Got you, you bastard.

I seen 'em! I seen 'em!

I seen 'em!

I seen 'em!

I seen 'em from the street!

They was runnin' and duckin'!

Hey!

What's going on here?

What is she saying?

What's going on?

I've been robbed!

They come through the hedge!

How many were there?

I don't know! 2, 3 dozen.

Who were they?

Colored boys! Maybe not!

Where did they go?

Through the hedge!

Who are you?

I work for miss ornstein!

I don't know what to do!

Let's go. You, too.

No! no! I got to go to work!

Wait here!

No, come on. Let's go.

I think I see him. This way.

I got to stop doing this shit.

Get...

Please...

Get in...

I mean, first the guy with the packages comes.

Then Mr. I'm-a-jogger- for-my-health,

he comes back.

Then his friend shows up.

I've been watching this place

for 3 weeks.

Nothing ever changes.

It's always the same.

I got to open up. It's close to noon.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

Are you from here or from out of town?

Hi. may I speak to Abel Crowe, please?

Oh, really?

No, no message. Thank you.

May I speak with Abel Crowe?

All right.

Would you tell him the rare book

he ordered has come in? Yes.

No, he'll know. Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Hi. is this it?

Yep, that's it.

Hold on one sec. Sure.

Uh...what's that all about?

That? nothing. Don't worry about it.

This is it, huh?

Yeah.

Ok, let's see. With federal,

state,

and local tax,

it's 56.67.

What?

That's right, 56.67. That's what it says.

These machines don't lie.

What, are you on drugs something?

I got a used paperback.

Drugs? is that what you have in the bag?

No.

What's in the bag?

Look, what the hell is this?

Open the goddamn door.

You going to make me?

If I have to, yeah.

I got a Smith & Wesson under the counter, man,

pointing at you,

and if you if you don't hurry up,

I'm gonna shoot you right in the dick.

You can't do that.

Are you kidding? Of course I can do that.

In this neighborhood,

I can shoot a customer a week

and get away with it.

I can't believe this is happening.

You want to hurry up?

You're holding up my other customers.

I don't have $56, all right?

It's gonna cost you 60.

I didn't know you had this one.

Hey, lady, fuck you.

In that case, put the books on the counter.

Yeah, sure. Sure.

And don't you ever, ever try to steal

anything from me again,

you understand that?

Yeah.

Ok. get the fuck out of here.

Yes. thank you.

You're welcome. Have a nice day.

Babe.

That's about the most bizarre thing

I've ever seen,

and I was a cop for 25 years.

Usually, the customer holds the proprietor up.

That's how it's supposed to work, Bernie.

They come in here, they hold you up.

How'd you get in here?

You left the back door unlocked.

I couldn't have gotten in otherwise

because I don't know how to pick a lock.

You got a permit for that gun?

They giving ex-cons permits these days?

Ray, I'm busy.

Yeah, yeah. You look busy.

What do you want?

What do you think I want?

I want $20,000 payable today right now.

And I want a mink coat for my wife.

I'm getting tired of asking for that, Bernie.

Ray, at the end of the week,

everything's gonna be very cool.

I give you my word.

I don't think so. Why not?

Abel Crowe died last night of a massive heart attack

at the St. Francis hotel.

Probably had a cholesterol count of around 2,000.

So you better find another receiver for that stamp

very, very fast, my darling.

Who do you know that takes stamps?

Not my problem. My problem

is waiting around for you to get the job done.

Ray, I'm not gonna do something that's stupid,

and I won't hit somebody who doesn't have it coming.

Please spare me your ethical considerations.

You got a week.

A week?

Uh-huh.

Stamps.

Stamps are a New York business for the most part.

See, I'm in a bit of a fix.

You could fly to New York.

I'm not sure even then.

That's all right.

If you hear of anybody, just...

I got some other stuff.

This one I would have trouble with.

It's very specific.

This one, there's no problem.

1,000?

That's great.

I got this rolex oyster perpetual.

The usual on that?

Yeah. thanks.

Always a pleasure.

Bernie, i know you like

to find your own things,

but you say you're in a fix.

I know a long-time customer.

I know the merchandise involved.

It's very tempting.

IBM?

Sorry?

Italian businessman.

No, nothing like that, nothing at all.

It's a dentist.

A dentist?

Maria dioso, por favor.

Bernard rho--

rhodenbarr?

Bernice, bernice.

Bernice rhodenbarr.

Yeah, it's nothing to worry about, Mrs. Ramirez.

On your left.

Buenos días. Como esta?

Bien.

Oh, an anglo.

Yeah, the epitome of anglo.

Open up, please.

Uh, no.

Please open up.

No.

Open up.

No.

Please open up.

Where's the doctor?

Please open up.

Thank you.

Nice. nice choppers.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Ow! god damn. I'm looking at your teeth.

Really?

Hi.

How we doing?

One cavity, best as I can tell.

Thank you. You can take a break now.

Don't forget your nuts.

Lower left molar.

Great. thank you. Shut the door.

Well, open wide.

Come on.

Thank you.

Good girl.

Mr. paggif is a very nice man.

Yes, he is.

He said i could trust you.

He can trust me.

I've bought a lot of jewelry from him,

jewelry I don't have anymore.

Somebody stole it from me,

my former husband.

I would like very much to get that jewelry back.

Call the police.

Well...

OK.

It's on the house.

You need it.

Ok.

Most all of my business is hispanic,

most of them illegal,

so they pay cash,

unreported cash.

There. that'll be numb in a minute.

Didn't feel a thing, did you?

With this cash, i bought jewelry.

When my husband and I separated,

he went to our safe deposit box

and cleaned it out.

There's nothing official i can do about it

without the IRS finding out.

Ok, open up for Mr. thirsty.

He kees ha woolry in tha houba?

What?

Does he keep the jewelry in his house?

His apartment. I don't know why.

Guess he likes to show it to his girlfriends,

of which he has many.

Besides, he's not exactly a rocket scientist.

I don't know about you,

but I've always been a sucker

for a really nice pair of buns.

Let's go.

The apartment's simple.

There's no doorman downstairs,

and I've even got a key.

Whellwy?

What?

Really?

Yes, really.

Christopher's rarely there

because he's always out in bars

screwing everything he can get his hands on.

Mutt is wooey uhled at?

What?

What is the jewelry valued at?

About 100,000.

Bullshit.

Ok, it's more.

I'm prepared to give you

$10,000 for the job.

Wider, please.

Unnhy five.

What?

25,000, that's what I need.

But, my god! You got the key.

I'll tell you where everything is.

What could be easier?

You do it, then.

Jesus! god! $25,000!

Take it or leave it.

When will you go in? At night?

No, in the daytime.

You'll do it, then?

Maybe.

That's right, bitch.

Don't tell me about the alarm.

Gets around, this Christopher.

Hi. this is you-know-who. I'm not you-know-where.

Leave a message when you hear the you-know-what.

Hey, Christopher. It's Frankie.

I'll be hanging at the mayday after 9:00.

I'd really like to see you,

so come, OK?

Bye, baby.

Please!

Oh, we got a definite refrigerator man here.

Ah, yes.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Very nice.

Is very, very nice.

Now, what's in the closet for you?

Let's go and look.

This is very nice, is so beautiful.

He's such a good dresser.

And what's behind door number 2?

Who knew this was there?

I didn't know.

Many beautiful things.

Great Gatsby would be very upset,

but what do I remember from the other closet?

Let's go and see!

Oh, this is-- this won't do.

I would not watch dogs fuck in this--

but this I would watch dogs and cats--

Apres vous.

Fuck! fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Shit. shit.

Will you stop?

I got to stop doing this shit.

Nobody's done that to me in a long time.

* I want to feel your body *

I shouldn't-- I don't know.

What? you shouldn't what?

No, you got to do it.

Who is this guy?

Why don't I have his phone number?

I'm coming!

I guess so. Come on.

Chris?

Aw, shit.

What are you doing here?

Why haven't you returned my calls?

Look, forget about returning your phone calls.

I haven't called you in a week.

What the hell is going on?

There's nothing going on, ok?

Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you.

Just relax.

I said don't walk away from me!

Just get out-- what are you doing?

What is this?!

Excuse me.

Hi. this is you-know-who. I'm not you-know-where,

so leave a message

when you hear the you-know-what.

Ciao.

It's not like I've never seen dead people before, ok?

I've seen lots of dead people.

But this guy was beyond dead.

I don't know what the fuck that was sticking in his chest.

He looked like a wind-up toy.

You got to be crazy, really crazy

to stab somebody like that.

This was very bizarre.

I don't understand.

You get out of jail, don't do anything wrong,

and now all of a sudden,

you start doing jobs again.

Carl...

Do you ever think that I might worry about you?

I don't have oodles and oodles of friends.

If I lose you,

I'll lose my best friend.

Carl, you don't know what's going on.

Let me tell you what's happening.

You know ray, the gimpy cop?

He comes and he says,

"i got something that I think you'd be interested in.

"I got a pair of gloves from a San Mateo job 5 years ago.

You know why I know they're yours?"

I say, "no."

He says, "because inside there are fingerprints

because there's powder in the gloves."

I didn't know this. I leave these gloves there.

He picks them up, he puts them downtown,

and all he has to do is call somebody and say,

"i know where these gloves are."

So I say, "ray, what is it that you want?"

He says, "i want $20,000 and a mink coat for my wife,

and I want you to get it."

That means I'm pulling jobs again.

Tomorrow they're going to haul my black ass

back to jail, probably for murder now.

You got any suggestions, Carl?

I don't know.

Maybe you could go, like,

on the $25,000 pyramid,

you know, get the money.

Carl, I think maybe a better idea

is that you find yourself a new best friend.

I know good dental care for your kids

is worth any price.

At the Sheldrake clinic,

we make sure it's a price you can afford.

In times like these,

you've got to ask yourself, "why pay more?"

That's how we're used to seeing Dr. Cynthia sheldrake,

but at 10:45 this morning,

she was taken into custody on charges

of murdering her former husband Christopher Marshall.

Marshall lived in this fashionable area near Nob Hill.

His body was found early--

well, my darling.

Lunchtime, ray.

Is that right?

Hold it right there, pickaninny.

How about our stamp?

Y'all want the stamp, massa ray?

I get it for you right now.

I don't want the stamp.

Bernie, listen to me.

I don't want the goddamn stamp.

I want the money you're gonna get when you sell the stamp.

Then you know what y'all got to do.

You got to find us a buyer.

Or maybe you can mail yourself to sun city

or wherever the fuck retired policemans go.

Listen to me, god damn it!

Get your hands off me, ray.

Don't forget I was the state prison boxing champ.

You're going to get hurt.

Whoo! boxing champion, huh?

As I recall, that was a woman's prison.

I'm gonna slap the shit--ow!

You don't listen, that's your problem.

Bernie!

Oh, god!

Oh, god!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I told you.

Let's calm down now, ok?

You bitch!

Ray--

you lousy bitch!

Ray!

That's it! That's it!

I'm reopening the case!

You'll be the state prison boxing champion again!

You hear me!

Look! give me a break, ray.

A week!.

I'll get you 2 fur coats!

Damn it!

Damn it!

Hi.

Oh, god!

I'm sorry. I was out of town.

Oh, Carson!

Look at me.

Don't.

Don't worry about that.

This is like a terrible nightmare.

You've got to get me out of here.

Please, please, get me out of here.

They fingerprinted me.

They undressed me.

I'm wearing cotton underwear!

The kind that comes up to here!

Sit down. Come on, please.

Did my guy bates do ok?

Well, he came. He just said you were coming.

He didn't say anything. Who is he?

A lawyer in my firm.

He's a child.

He's 27.

And those pictures!

Those dreadful pictures!

Who's going to see those pictures?

Let me tell you what's going on, all right?

They're going to keep you here because they think

the murder weapon came from your office.

It's some kind of a dental tool.

I know all that. Probable cause.

What is that?

It means the police think that maybe--

no, how long?

They can only keep you for 72 hours.

Well, how long is that?

What?

How many days?

That's, uh...

It's, uh...

Oh, Christ.

3 days.

3 days.

Jesus Christ!

I'm going to die in here!

I'll choke on my underwear!

Have you smelled this place?

It's like a goddamn clorox factory!

Cynthia, listen to me, please.

You are not going to die in here.

You didn't kill Christopher, right?

Of course I didn't kill him.

Then I'll get you out, so don't worry, ok?

Huh!

Now, you told them nothing, right?

No.

Good.

I mean no.

I did tell them something.

What?

I told them the other day

I was talking to a patient of mine,

and I was telling her how Christopher

just leaves all this jewelry

all over the apartment for anybody to steal.

A black woman, ok?

What are you saying?

That Christopher caught her in the act, and she--

the police said there was a burglary.

They did?

Mm-hmm. closet door was broken into.

The alarm system was tampered with.

I didn't know that.

Well, hell!

You're always out of town!

What did the guy call this?

An elevator.

Jeez.

You use this to pull teeth out?

No wonder they put you to sleep.

Hell of a murder weapon. Just punch the guy.

What did you say the address was again?

1143.

What's this?

It says here, "residence."

What do you think? You want to go in?

What is this?

It says here, "place of business."

What do you think? You want to go in?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I'm gonna call the department of corrections.

Maybe our friend has a record.

...swept part of the bay area today.

OK, Mrs. Kirschman, if ray comes in,

would you ask him to call me, please?

I got to apologize for something.

All right, then.

Thanks. bye-bye.

Carl?

Miss rhodenbarr, my name is Carson verrill.

I'm Dr. sheldrake's lawyer,

and I think we should talk.

Really?

Why is that?

Uh, yeah.

I got to tell you, Mr. verrill,

it doesn't look real good for me tonight.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I understand.

Look, I'll, uh, I'll call you.

OK? yeah, bye.

Open up! Police!

Police! let us in!

We have an arrest warrant!

What do you want to do?

She was on the phone 2 minutes ago.

Look out!

Come on through!

You sure you got a warrant on this?

Yes! I am sure!

Wrong address.

Those are the wrong addresses.

This is the right address.

Ok, ok.

This is amazing.

What are you doing here?

I'm just looking.

Get out of here.

What's going on up there?

It's nothing to you. Go!

I don't have to go. This is a free country,

and I pay taxes.

That's hot! Watch out!

It's hot!

Thank god.

I've never seen anything like this.

Ok, search the entire place.

What are we looking for?

Jewelry, burglary tools, dope, what else?

A black woman.

A black woman.

Christ, I hope we got the right address.

Hi.

And I just did the floors.

Ain't this a bitch.

P.A.: welcome to the roundabout,

an extraordinary aquarium experience

presented to you

by the California academy of sciences.

Enter this lifelike simulated realm

of the vast ocean's swimming species,

a silent, watery world known only to marine dwellers

and the occasional deep-sea diver.

The fish swim within an endless circular channel...

Do you mind?

Here you are surrounded by a ring of bright sea water.

Bernie?

Nod or something.

Am I...

Am I talking to the correct party?

Well, this is ridiculous.

Sit down, counselor.

Let's go someplace we can be alone.

No.

It's your ass, you know.

Let me explain something to you.

The police, even if they were idiots,

would know that the last person to use a dental instrument

in the commission of a murder would be a dentist.

You, on the other hand, were in Dr. sheldrake's office

and could have very easily picked up such an item.

Are you listening? You're in a lot of trouble.

What do you want?

I want to know if you killed Christopher Marshall.

All right, were you in the apartment

when he was killed?

Did you see or hear who did it?

Tell me. I would really like to know.

You tell the doctor to keep her mouth shut.

I'm afraid it's a little late for that.

Then you tell her if they pop me for this murder,

she's a felony accessory.

You're a lawyer. You know that.

Are you saying she set this up?

Come on.

Don't fuck with me, man.

Ok?

Then it's her word against yours,

which is very bad for you,

unless, of course,

there was someone else

who knew about this arrangement.

There was.

I just don't want to involve him.

Then take a boat, take a plane,

see Argentina.

Or find out who really did it.

Right! conduct an investigation

while the entire

San Francisco police department

is looking for you.

Take my advice. It's free.

Disappear.

P.A.: we hope you enjoy your visit and come back again.

Thank you.

You know...

Ray!

Telephone, ray!

Ok! all right!

Give me a break.

Goddamn phone.

Whole world's got to stop for the goddamn phone.

Ray kirschman.

Ray, this is Bernie. I need your help.

Just tell me exactly why I should help you.

Listen to me.

Huh?

Ray, just listen.

You got a fur coat for me yet?

What about that? Huh? Huh?

I'm in serious fuckin' trouble here.

I don't want to hear about this other shit.

You understand?

Shit!

Hello?

Hello?

So, like, we're just going to one bar after another?

That's the plan.

Looking for what?

People who knew the dead man.

I can't go in there.

It looks like yuppies from hell.

Then I'll go alone.

No, wait. Come in here.

Let's go.

One minute, please?

Excuse me.

One minute.

If you coat your stomach with olive oil,

you can drink and not get drunk.

Is that a fact?

I read it in wall street journal.

"Tips for executives who entertain a lot."

What are you doing?

Putting it back.

You already opened it. We have to pay for it.

I don't understand you.

You'd, like, steal the Chrysler building,

but now we got to pay for olive oil?

It's not what you steal, it's who you steal from.

* let's go dancin' *

* let's go dancin' *

* dancin' on the ceiling *

kir royale, please.

Think we stick out in here?

What will it be?

Cranberry juice.

I'll have a kir royale.

Just keep them coming.

I'll have, like, a bucket of them.

Carl, Carl, cool out.

Give him one kir royale.

You got it.

What is wrong with you?

I feel like I'm at an amway convention.

Will you stop?

So many guys come in here.

He looks a little familiar.

Look real close. You never went out with him?

Hi, ladies. How are you today?

I'm drinking the kir royale here.

Perhaps I could buy you--

you're already drinking something.

You probably don't want to drink with me, huh?

What are you doing when you're not driving young guys wild?

Was there any one person,

any one specific person?

Nah. always somebody different.

He got more ass than a toilet seat.

That is beautiful.

Guys, too, if you ask me.

My name's Carl hefler!

I'm a gemini.

I lost my keys to my BMW.

You didn't see them, did you?

Let's cut this shit.

Would you like to go wah wah wah with me?

Are you guys cops?

Mm-hmm.

I knew it. I fuckin' knew it!

The minute you walked in, i knew it.

Really? my god.

Well, you see that guy over there?

That's my partner,

and he is head of homicide.

No shit.

Whoo!

* ooh, yeah *

* I never thought i would see it *

* now I know that you were right *

excuse me. Bartender?

Can I get 3 black Russians.

Make that 4.

You want 4 black Russians?

Ok!

I would like to purchase 4 black Russians!

* I've got a new way *

* of livin' *

* now that I'm here with you *

how's that olive oil working?

I don't know, man.

Get away.

Leave me alone.

Get away. I open at 9:00.

* tough guys don't dance *

* they know it all *

* give them a chance *

* tough guys don't dance *

* they know it all *

mind if we join you?

Just as long as you're not

a couple of fucking dentists.

With a guy like Christopher,

he was like a bird, you know?

You can't own him.

You just hope he'll fly by and see you

every now and then.

You know what?

What?

You two smell like a salad.

I think i ought to go.

Get in.

Get in. Watch your head.

Take him home.

Sure.

Night, Carl.

Good night.

You know what?

You look a little bit like Elvis Presley.

Not when he was fat and on drugs,

but, like, before all that.

Um...where to?

Home.

Where's home?

How about we drive around?

I know I can pick it out.

It's got, like, a mailbox.

When a guy can screw any woman he meets,

he winds up not having too many friends.

Maybe he's too busy.

Maybe other men don't like it.

I'd vote for jealousy, if I voted.

I don't vote.

What about this artist you mentioned, grambo?

Graybow.

Graybow.

"Gray" and then like "bow."

Graybow.

Graybow.

Graybow always had a lot of cash,

loved to grab a check.

I guess he sold a lot of paintings.

Christopher was friendly with him.

And knobby, the bartender.

The three of them would sit up there

at the bar in a tight little huddle.

Sometimes they'd talk all night.

Knobby tends bar here?

Yeah, but I ain't seen him

in a couple of days--nights.

Happen to know his real name?

You got me.

He's a real scumball anyhow.

He's got no hair.

He's bald.

Uh, is there anybody else

you can think of,

anybody at all?

I can name 40 women he knew.

No.

You're not interested in women?

Just the men.

Short list.

Look...

This is real important to me.

Just think hard. Please try.

That's not really my forte.

Oh, yeah. Here's Johnny.

He's an executroid.

A what?

You know the bar Parkers?

Yeah, on 5th.

Yeah.

He was one of those a 3-piece executroids

that hang out there.

Christopher always called him Johnny.

"Here's Johnny!" He'd say.

Happen to catch his real name?

No, not interested.

What line of work are you in?

I'm a cat burglar.

No shit.

What do you do with them?

What?

The cats.

I hold them for ransom.

Is there any money in that?

Oh, Jesus.

Look who's asking if there's any money in pussy.

Open up! Police!

Open up, please. Police.

Shut up!

I'm coming.

You're Carl hefler?

I am hefler.

Jesus.

Do you know a bernice rhodenbarr?

No.

She broke into this man's apartment and stabbed him.

She did?

Uh-huh.

We'd like to talk to you about that.

But first we'd like you to go brush your teeth.

If he's a professional artist

living and working in the bay area,

he'll be in here.

Thanks. his name is graybow.

I know, dear, i know.

Hmm.

Is, uh...This for sale?

It is.

Because I need something to go over my bed.

Graybow. here it is, right here.

Oh, really?

Thank you.

Thanks.

Charley Weaver,

Wally Cox,

Paul lynde.

Apparently, there's something

a little bit more mysterious

about the secret squares

than we're ever led to believe,

and I'm asking you, cop, dude guy,

I want some answers from you now pronto!

Oh, beautiful!

I'm bugged. I'm being bugged.

Don't touch that. You signed a release form for that.

So? this is bullshit.

You're driving me nuts.

Don't look at me

you're such a condescending fuck--

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

When I said that,

I was smirking a little.

Are you ok? I'm worried about you?

I'm fine. Thank you.

Do you know that policemen

have the highest rate of suicide?

So you think I'm fucked up,

you better be careful yourself.

Someday, boom! In the closet.

That will be great for your children

to find a big, dead, old, fat cop.

You know why I'm here?

It's because I'm a black man

in a white man's world!

You're a Caucasian, Mr. hefler.

Beautiful! throw that in my face, too!

And I...

And I look like shit.

All right!

You got any mousse?

How's it going?

Not so good.

I can see people in there.

It's looks like a people aquarium.

Let him go as soon as possible.

Hello!

Hey, what's happenin', man?

I'm looking for the apartment

of rayneta moody.

Oh!

What the fuck you doing out there?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What are you doing to my fuckin' door?!

I told you--

what are you doing to my door?

I'm going to be ill soon.

Unless I get a glass of water,

I'm going to vomit all over you--

no, no, don't throw up.

Hold it.

Goddamn junkies.

Egads, man, I was just cruisin' by.

I'm looking for rayneta moody

because they told me to bring the stuff over here.

You probably was real nervous

when you opened the door and checked my ass out,

but I figured 5-0-0, how many could there be?

Just drink it, shut up, and get out.

No problem, man, no problem.

Wow! this is really hip. You a artist, huh?

Whoa! whoa! Kick my ass.

I like this one over here, man.

This remind me of some trips I took

with some people i know,

but it wasn't like we wasn't going anywhere

because we'd already arrived

by the time we left.

The fluidity of this painting

is moving me beyond belief

because the turnip aspect of it

that is moving my soul--

finish the water.

No problem, man.

Whoa! you got that African shit.

Man, that's really hip.

Like the brothers.

* umbelly umbelly badup badup *

* umbelly umbelly badup badup *

* ai-ay ai-ay ai-ay ai-ay *

whoa!

Stand here, don't move around,

and cut the umbelly shit.

You got it, man.

I don't want to upset you.

Oh, no, i don't want to upset you.

I had a friend who was into cleavers,

I said, "you shouldn't be buyin' that shit."

He had a temper

really throw you...Off.

You know how people get when they go off.

Like you off now, but you ok.

You would not hurt me

because you got this big, black-ass dog.

How was I supposed to know the dog was mad?

I didn't want to upset you or the dog.

God knows I'm into save the animals.

Easy, oboe. Ommm...

The dog jumped at me, talkin' shit to me.

Talkin', like, he was really letting me know

that this was your space.

You know how people get,

which I can really dig, because you a artist.

You into stuff,

you're moving and grooving with the real thing.

Um...i... i should go now, yeah.

All right, who are you?

Whoa!

You're going to let me know why you're here!

What do you think I am, a goddamn idiot?

You're going to tell me why you're here!

Tell me or I'll cut you!

I'll tell you. I promise, I promise.

I'll tell you this much.

Oh...

Artists.

Knobby.

Hey, knobby!

Everything is fine. It's beautiful.

Don't worry. Ciao.

What?

Another one.

That's ridiculous. Of course you are.

But men buy me things,

coats, scarves, appliances,

acoustical ceilings...

What'll it be?

Package delivery.

For who?

Just says mayday.

Here, I'll take it.

You got to sign for it.

Ke-no-bi...kenobi.

Is that like in star wars?

No, idiot, it's knobby.

Oh, so it's like a nickname.

Yes, I think maybe it's something like that.

Well, I'm going to need your full name, please.

Sorry.

Come on. It's the regulations.

Hey,

fuck you, ok?

Fuck you?

Thank you very much.

I come to give you a fucking package,

and you blow me shit?

Like you're my dream come true,

taking shit from a dildo with ears?

When I was, like, 5, I said, "dad! Dad! Can I get a job

where random fuckin' shitheads blow me crap all day?"

I'm gonna break you in fuckin' half

and use your head as a ballpoint!

Now sign the goddamn thing!

All right, all right, I'll sign it. Jesus.

Print your name under there.

Thank you.

You ought to see somebody, pal.

Get some professional help.

Ok. thank you very much.

What do you expect to find

in this guy's place?

I don't know. Some evidence,

something that'll keep my ass out of jail.

You got knobby's number, knobby di carno?

Is he expecting you?

Yeah, he told me to come by.

Name?

Sally Ride.

He's not in.

Damn. look, let me slip something

under his door.

Come on, you look reasonable.

That's funny... Because I'm not.

* think of life *

* as a tightrope *

* there's one way in or out *

* I could fall *

* if I can't cope *

* but I'm stayin' on my toes *

* don't give up *

* till it's over *

* what I should do *

* is think this whole thing through *

* how did I get in this fix? *

* time out *

* the feds are up to their tricks *

* time out *

* out on a limb, I sink or swim... *

Thanks for meeting me, ray.

What's this?

It's a fur coat. It's mink.

This is a man's coat.

Nothing's perfect.

It is pretty nice.

Ok, fuck her. Let her get her own coat.

Do you know what's going on with me?

I hear you killed somebody.

You got to talk to the cops.

How come?

If you don't,

you won't get your $20,000.

Besides, I know who killed him.

I got the evidence.

It's a cabbage patch doll. You're so dense.

No, no, no, no.

It was a guy named graybow.

Graybow?

Uh-huh.

Now, look at these.

Voila.

Counterfeit plates,

found in his apartment last night.

Good, huh?

I guess.

They're terrific. Trust me.

Look at this.

This is why the paper is so good.

He takes a one dollar bill,

bleaches the ink off, and prints 100 on it.

You kids go check out this guy's apartment.

You'll find some dental tools

just like the murder weapon.

At least you'll find that this guy

left town in a very, very big hurry.

Well, maybe we should go see this graybow guy.

Ok.

You want to come, ray?

Sure.

Why not?

They called us at 6:00 this morning.

Same wound as on the other guy,

same position, same depth.

What do you say, Ray?

How about helping us pick up your friend?

Or does she make a fool of you on a regular basis?

Or maybe we should hold you, ray.

That could be arranged.

Yeah.

We could put that together.

Then it's got to be this guy, the bartender.

What's his name? Knobby.

Knobby, right.

What about the pope?

Maybe he snuck over--

look, the--

these cats were involved in something

worth a lot of money.

2 of them are dead. One is not. It's simple.

Mm-hmm.

I left knobby's apartment with half a million dollars.

Made with those plates?

I figure we split it

down the middle.

What's going on, ray?

Did you roll me over?

In the clover, my darling.

They'll take you when we come out.

Ray, babe, you know I don't kill people.

It's out of my hands.

I'm not going back to jail,

and I will spill blood before I do.

Bernie, just tell them what you know.

Maybe you're right. This knobby guy--

look, give me a shot, ray.

Ok? just a shot.

At what?

Just a shot.

Where are you going?

To the bathroom.

Just remember, you started this shit.

What's she doing?

She went potty.

Thank you, Jesus.

And they're off.

Damn!

Trust me.

Break it off.

No.

Come on, break it off!

No!

Brake!

Shit!

We got her.

Hold on.

Damn it!

Hey! hey!

Shoot her!

I'm not gonna shoot her!

They'd shoot her in L.A.

We're not in L.A.!

Clear the sidewalk.

Get your butts out of the way.

The city of San Francisco thanks you.

I thank you, too.

Get out of the way!

Move!

Police officers! Move! Move!

And I'll tell you another thing.

You should have let me kick in the door.

I'm sorry, but I think that needs saying.

What are you afraid of?

You got something for us?

I got robbed, I swear.

We finance you, and you stiff us?

I was robbed, man. Somebody killed my partners.

Get in the car.

Maybe you killed them.

I'm begging you, please!

Good night, Charlie. I didn't do it, you know.

Yes, ma'am.

I just want to take a bath...

A nice hot bath.

That's all I ever really wanted anyway.

Follow the leaders to Sutton.

Anthony! Anthony!

Anthony Marquinetti lives in Boston

in the Italian north end.

The home of the prince spaghetti company...

Good god, I didn't leave the television on

for 3 days, did I?

You!

Hi, doc.

What are you doing here?

Frankly,

I didn't know where else to go.

Where's my jewelry?

I don't know. Maybe you got it.

Call the police, Carson.

No, Carson, don't.

Why shouldn't I?

Because I'm at the end of my rope.

That's why.

What is it you want?

I'd like you to tell me

everything you know about Christopher,

starting with junior high.

Oh, please.

Fine. I'll tell you everything I know.

You killed him. What else is there to know?

Christopher was in the counterfeiting business.

What?

Look, it's been a tough day.

Tell me about it. First I thought

this artist killed him,

but then the artist turned up dead.

And then I thought this bartender killed him,

and then this bartender turned up dead.

I swear, every time i think I figured out

who killed this guy, they end up dead.

And I am running out of suspects.

I see. Um, excuse me.

Could I just interject a quick question here?

Sure.

Who gives a shit? I just want a hot bath.

So now, doc,

I'm back to you.

Have you seen my briefcase lately?

What the hell are you talking--

what the hell is she--

would you do something about this, Carson?

Now, look, miss.

See, Christopher was robbed.

Whoever robbed him took my briefcase

thinking that the counterfeit money was in there,

but it wasn't 'cause the bartender had that.

Jesus, I can't follow any of this.

You can't?

You didn't seem to have any trouble following my ass

to Christopher's house the night I burglarized it.

There, you see,

she was there.

Yes. but then so were you.

What?

Come on, that was you in that room,

screwing that man's pants off while I hid in the closet.

I beg your pardon!

You wear more perfume

than any dentist I've ever known.

The room reeked of it. Joy, isn't it?

You slept with Christopher?

Slept with him?

Honey, the bitch knocked holes in the wall.

Ok! so I did. So what?

Big deal. There's a distinct difference

between killing people and fucking them.

This is a grade "A" chicken...

Turn this damn thing off!

This chicken is skinny.

Look...

What are you doing? Get away from me.

Where is the jewelry?

Leave me alone.

Did you have someone kill him for you?

No. Carson, would you please--

I heard a man's voice, but you could fake that.

Absolutely not. Carson!

Raid!

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

here's Johnny!

Carson!

I didn't do anything.

All I wanted was a little roll in the hay

for old times' sake...

But...you shouldn't have to go

to the electric chair for that.

It's not fair.

I think you've said enough, don't you?

It's not fair.

Yeah. I think I have.

I'll get a lawyer. I already have a lawyer.

I don't know who's responsible

for drawing it up but I don't like it.

We'll never win the case

with work like that.

Excuse me a second.

Mayor feinstein?

I wonder what she wants.

Hello?

I know it was you, asshole,

and I can prove it.

Who is this?

Guess.

Look, I'm in a very important meeting.

I got a very important meeting with the cops.

About what?

You and Christopher.

What about me and--

what about us?

Oh, I know everything.

I've even got a witness, a good friend of Christopher's.

Oop. got to go, counselor.

Uh, no, wait, uh...

Look...look, i have no idea

what this conversation is about,

but, uh...What is it that you want?

It's very easy.

I want my bag back with everything in it.

And then what?

I don't know. Take a boat, maybe a plane,

go visit Argentina.

I'll be out of here by dark.

Where would you like to meet me?

Stern grove, 2:00, by the stage. Be there.

Gotcha.

Nice weather we're having, counselor.

Where's the gun?

Where's my jewels?

Dr. sheldrake's jewels.

I don't think so, not after all this shit.

First, the gun.

Throw it.

Throw it? You know how much these things cost?

Throw it as far as you can.

Shit.

Where's my stuff?

In the trunk of my car.

Get it.

First you tell me what you know.

I know everything.

I know you killed Christopher,

and I know you killed the artist

'cause he knew you were involved.

I did, huh?

Yes, counselor verrill.

Let me ask you something.

Do you think that I would--

a very successful lawyer

with a thriving law firm--

would go around killing people

for counterfeit money?

No, I think that was an afterthought.

I think you killed Christopher

because you were in love with him.

I didn't figure that one out until last night.

See, I thought you were pissed at the doctor,

but you were pissed at Christopher, weren't you?

I have a wife and 3 children.

All the worse for them.

I never even knew Christopher Marshall.

Really? Frankie!

Who's this?

That's Frankie.

You know Frankie.

She knows you.

Here's Johnny.

I don't know you.

Sure, you do.

You're Christopher's friend.

I've seen you together a couple of times.

That's a goddamn lie.

He told me all about you.

I slept with him, too, every now and then.

This is preposterous. This is all lies.

What did he tell you?

You know, the whole plan

about how you sort of figured it all out for him.

He said, "that goddamn verrill, boy, is he smart.

"Verrill thinks we should do this

verrill thinks we should that--"

that's enough.

But I don't think he completely trusted you,

or else he wouldn't have recorded your pillow talk.

Look, nobody has to know about any of this.

I'll go to my car.

Thank you.

Carson, you want to tell me what happened to the money

the mafia gave knobby?

Um, well, it's at my home.

Great. we can pick it up on the way to the airport.

All right.

Hey, mister, why did you have to kill him?

Why?

Because...

Because...

Because...because he didn't

give a shit about anybody!

Oh, my god.

Explain this, bitch.

Ray!

I didn't know. I'm sorry, Frankie.

It doesn't hurt.

Doesn't hurt much at all.

Well, Jesus, I guess not.

Banzai!

Carl, which way did he go?

That-a-way.

You fucking bitch,

I'll kill you with my bare hands!

Why? are you out of ice picks?

Ah!

Damn you!

Oh!

Bernie! Bernie!

No, this way! Over here!

Bernie! Bernie!

Bernie! Bernie!

Bernie!

So, Mr. i-can-dump-you-in-the- pool-anytime-i-feel-like-it,

where the hell do you think you're going now?

Come here.

Yeah. come here. Boy, I'm pissed at you.

Come on.

Now your ass is grass.

Uh! god!

Bernie!

Bernie!

Bernie!

Carl. Carl, quit yelling. Over here.

You ruined my life, my 'do,

and my manilow tapes.

Bernie!

Yeah, I'm here, I'm here.

Bernie, you're ok!

Ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Carl, Carl, calm down.

Breathe. breathe.

Chill.

What happened to your head?

What happened to your nose?

It's all right.

Did you get everything on the tape?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I also popped the trunk of his car.

You stopped to do that

and didn't come to help me?

First things first, my darling.

Carl, come here.

Now, look.

Now, if he moves

or even looks like he's gonna wake up,

crown him.

Ok.

Wasn't anything on the tape about the jewelry?

Not that I recorded.

Carl. Carl!

Carl, I said only if he wakes up.

I thought I saw him move,

like, just a little bit.

Yeah.

I got to stop doing this shit.

Yeah, sure, Bernie, sure.

No, really.

It's in your blood. You can't quit.

Take it from somebody who knows.

Oh, really, Mr. I'm-a- detective-in-a-chintzy-coat-

with-a-retirement-plan, really?

Really, my love.

Say, there, ray, you're kind of cute.

Hey, god damn it.

I could get behind you.

Bernie, what are you doing?

I want to talk to you, ray.

I want to get up in your face.

As a matter of fact, i think I'm gonna

get up in your face

and tell you this to your mug.

Keep your behind out of my bookstore

because I know you can't read.

Bernie, I thought we were a team.

Team this, honey.

Hey, get off me and go get Carl

before he kills that guy.

I'm not going back over there.

I just came out of the water...

* anytime my eyes are tellin' you a story *

* there's a happy endin' *

* but what you might hear *

* isn't always what I'm sayin' to you *

* oh, yeah *

* when you read my lips, you're takin' inventory *

* so I keep pretendin' *

* oh, I need *

* time out *

* how did I get in this fix, baby? *

* time out *

* the fates are up to their tricks *

* time out *

* I'm out on a limb, i sink or swim *

* time out 'cause I'm takin' leave *

* think of life *

* as a tightrope *

* there's one way in or out *

* I could fall if I can't cope *

* but I'm stayin' on my toes *

* don't give up *

* don't give up *

* till it's over *

* over *

* what I should do *

* is think this whole thing through *

* time out *

* some days you've got to think fast *

* time out *

* you hope your luck's gonna last *

* time out *

* I'm out on a limb, i sink or swim *

* time out 'cause I'm cashin' in, baby *

* time out *

* how did I get in this fix? *

* time out *

* the fates are up to their tricks *

* time out *

* I'm out on a limb, i sink or swim *

* time out 'cause I'm cashin' in *

* time out *

* time out *

* some days you've got to think fast *

* time out *

* you hope your luck's gonna last *

* time out *

* I'm out on a limb, i sink or swim *

* time out 'cause I'm cashin' in, baby *

* time out *

* oh, how did i get in this fix? *

* time out *

* the fates are up to their tricks *

* time out *

* oh, I'm out on a limb, i sink or swim *

* time out 'cause I'm cashin' in *

* oh, no *

* time out *

* heaven only knows what I can do now *

* heaven only knows i should cut this out *

* so I turn around and ask myself *

* what this world is all about *

* heaven only knows i should cut this out *

* heaven only knows i can't do without *

* heaven only knows i should cut this out *

* and I turn around and ask myself *

* what this world is all about *

* heaven only knows I should cut this out *

* heaven only knows I can't do without *

* heaven only knows I should cut this out *