Original subtitles

and that was the first time a teacher was shot into space that

was the most offensive science report i've ever heard how could you do such a

thing beavis helped me

Well, you boys will just have to do another science project. But we're out

firecrackers. And this time I want you to work with Daria Morgendorfer, our

grade -A student who won the science award last year.

But Mrs. Dickey, Beavis and Butthead are complete imbeciles.

Yeah, she's right.

Now, Daria, I'm sure this will be a learning experience for all concerned.

Oh, no.

We have to work with diarrhea.

That take is really hung.

That wasn't funny, dumbass.

How come they didn't let that dude back in Duran Duran?

This guy thinks he's, like, smart.

Yeah.

College music sucks.

Yeah.

I think it's only cool if you, like, go to college.

This video is, like, complicated.

Yeah. It's stupid.

Whoa.

Cult rules.

Yeah. These guys kick ass.

That would be cool if you could, like, watch this video over and over again.

Yeah.

You could do that if you had one of those, uh, those, uh, CPRs.

Yeah.

Those things are cool.

Tattoos are cool.

Yeah.

I wish I was born with a tattoo.

That would be cool.

No, dumbass. You're not born with them. You get them when you join the Navy.

Yeah. I'm going to get one. That would be cool.

Yeah.

You could have I'm a Wood tattooed across your butt.

Shut up, butthead.

I'll kick your ass.

You're getting food on someone.

Yeah. That would be cool.

You're gonna boo.

It's her.

Hey, butthead.

Hey, diarrhea.

You guys think of any new science projects?

Yeah, if you pour salt on a snail, a lot of scientific stuff happens.

We could burn some ants.

You could have butthead sit on a big glass jar and fart.

What's scientific about that?

Nothing till you light it.

How does a person learn a skill like that?

Everything I know, I learned from my dad.

Yeah, me too.

Really? You both have the same dad?

Uh, we're not sure.

It's possible.

Hmm, I think I have an idea for our science report.

By changing the shape of my mouth, I create different vibrators.

Vibration.

Vibration.

That can be used to play a song.

My uncle taught me this trick, only he used a bat.

Thank you.

Here's something my dad taught me.

If you, like, take three deep breaths, and then you blow on your thumb,

sometimes you pass out.

And so we raise an age -old question.

Idiocy, genetic or environmental?

I think our examples of Beavis and Butthead indicate that both are

factors.

I rest my case.

Yeah! These guys are cool.

Oh, man.

This part sucks.

Yeah. The song was cool until it started getting all wimpy.

We're such a big, muscular dude, he sure thinks like a wuss. Yeah.

Rock. Rock, dude.

Yes. About time they stopped being wimpy.

Whoa.

Come to Butthead.

Hey, Viva, would you let her hock a loogie on you?

Yeah, yeah.

That would be cool.

You guys were great.

I don't know anyone else who'd be willing to make such fools of

Hey, diarrhea.

Yeah? Do you, like, get periods?

But, head, why don't you try this experiment?

Analyze the friction caused by digitally oscillating your wiener.

That was cool.

Is this like satanic music?

No way, dude. It's not cool enough.

If you play this backwards, it says, this sucks.

Yeah.

These guys are from, like, Austria or something.

Yeah.

Like that crocodile dude.

The Outback.

You said Outback.

Hey, butthead, check this out. A dingo took your baby.

You said dingo.

What if a dingo bit off your dingo?

That would be cool.

No, it wouldn't.

That would suck.

Hey, Beaver, let's rock.

I wish I had an eye in my hand.

That would be cool.

Yeah.

You could, like, reach around doors and look inside at people.

You said reach around.

I love the red hot chili peppers.

Yeah.

They're cool.

Whoa, did you see that? His shirt said Mr. Bunghole.

What is it?

What is it?

Ring.

Fuck.

I wish this video had, like, some explosions.

That would be cool.

It does have some explosions.

Fairies grant wishes.

Shut up, asswipe.