Original subtitles

Good morning, everybody.

My name is John Griffith.

I'm your literary professor.

You can call me sir, Mr. Griffith, whatever you prefer.

How about John?

No.

No, you may not call me John.

Then why not?

What's your name, miss?

Melissa.

Henry Miller.

Why?

He had a really interesting life.

Go on.

Well, I mean, he was an American in Paris. He didn't have much money, hardly

dime. He had a couple of jobs to pay for his food, but all he really did was

write books and have sex.

Continue.

I mean, he was so easygoing. Did you know that he actually shared his

with his friends?

You like this idea?

Yeah.

Great. I mean, he was being a really good friend.

He slept with many prostitutes.

So? It is the world's oldest profession.

Now, you're a real feminist, Miss Foster. Absolutely. I mean, the girls

doing it because they wanted to.

Anybody else read Henry Miller's work?

Would anybody like to read Henry Miller's work?

For

tomorrow.

just 20 through 40 taming of the truth.

Have a nice day.

Have you read The Tropic of Cancer?

Yeah. What did you think about it?

Is that a professional or a personal question?

Definitely personal.

I don't think that I have time for that right now.

Well, what are you doing later on?

Well, listen, I'm your professor.

I just want to talk about the book.

Why don't you come over to my house?

Couldn't we meet somewhere public?

Well, if you're worried about anybody finding out, I assure you, my place is

much more private.

Well, you could have at least asked me before you invited him over.

Don't you find him attractive?

His eyes, they just make me melt.

Oh, yeah?

Like this?

Oh,

Prince Charming has arrived.

Professor Griffith?

I'm sorry, I, uh... Thank you.

You know Christina?

Yeah. Yeah. How are you?

Well,

thanks, Christina. Have a good night.

You too.

Enjoy your evening.

To Henry

Miller. To Henry Miller.

I like the way you dress.

Thank you.

Have you read Nin's letters?

Come on.

You didn't come here to talk.

Don't you want to fuck me?

I think I should go.

No, no. I want to kiss you all over.

You're my student and I have rules.

Rules are made to be broken.

Thank you, Mr.

Griffith.

You don't have a boyfriend?

We broke up.

How come?

I was sleeping with his best friend.

Why? Oh, God, he was great in bed.

I have a very strong sexual appetite.

I like men.

And women.

Okay, so we have a double date for tonight.

I told you, I'm not interested.

How are you going to pay your tuition?

I'll get a job.

Come on, having sex is more fun. It's a thousand bucks for one night.

Christina, I'm not a call girl.

All right, I'll get another solution.

How could you do this?

Mr. Auckland, I'm sorry. John, I warned you.

We do not tolerate relationships of this kind at this university, not between

teachers and students. It's a rule.

I'm sorry.

Sorry doesn't cut it.

I'm suspending you until further notice, and you can tell Melissa that she's

suspended as well.

Board of Regents is meeting on Wednesday to come to their final decision.

I'll be in touch.

You okay?

Everyone keeps calling.

Parents, teachers, students.

No one can believe I slept with a teacher.

Well, at least you're very photogenic and he's really well endowed.

Looked like you were enjoying it.

I got suspended for two weeks.

So you can come on my date tonight.

I already told you I'm not going.

Oh, come on.

Everybody hates you right now but me.

So you might as well do me this one little favor.

And they're really nice guys.

So we get laid and we get paid.

What more do you want in life?

Greg and Elvis too.

Oh, oh,

oh, oh. How about Greg?

Urban?

Absolutely.

Hey.

Are you upset with me?

No, I'm okay.

You should burn in hell.

You should be expelled from the campus.

Last night, I had sex with my roommate, Melissa.

She worked for my escort service, and I sent her on a call.

They fucked for three hours.

And when she got home, it was my turn.

Sounds like you had fun.

Don't you ever knock?

No.

You should take a look.

They're good.

Hey, I told you I don't like meth.

Well, that might change your mind.

Oh, yeah?

I don't think so.

Oh, touche.

What have you got?

Oh, I need you to choose some slides from those.

What's on the other one?

Oh, that one was me and Melissa.

Wow, you don't stop, do you?

You know, I just want to have sex with you and then die after.

Yeah, well, that's never going to happen, but you can move straight ahead

second part.

How many slides do you want?

Fifty of each.

The evening started at the restaurant with Ross and Michael.

Melissa looked so sexy.

I wanted her right there in the limo.

But we had dinner reservations, so I had to wait.

Why do you keep doing this?

Because it pays my tuition and I like it.

Does Melissa know she's in your videos?

Oh, no, and she can never find out either because she would kill me.

How's it going with her teacher?

I don't know. I have no idea.

You're a good teacher, John.

But this is a highly respected university, and I cannot tolerate

this kind.

We are both adults.

Yeah, and what if you had to correct your thesis?

Would you give her an A -plus because she's your lover?

I'm a good professor.

I don't let my personal life interfere with my work. Really?

Well, that's exactly what you did. Mr. Auckland, I don't want to hear it.

I thought you got kicked out.

I just didn't feel like hanging out at home.

Want to swing by my tab?

I'm waiting for my boyfriend.

Who's that? Mr. Griffith? The guy you popped last time?

Hey, hey, I just talked to Christina is all.

Oh, what did she say?

She told me everything.

Fuck off.

You shouldn't talk to me like that.

You get a problem?

Back off.

Take a walk.

How are you?

I'm okay.

But who the hell set us up?

Wish I knew.

If I find out, I want us to get out of here.

There's more.

72 Burgundy?

Mm, that's fine.

Hello? John, Mr. Rockland here.

The board came to a decision this morning.

You're fired for breaking your contract.

I see.

What's the matter?

You just got fired.

Sorry, honey.

Let's go to... Paris, like Henry Miller.

You can teach English to the French students.

They'll learn French literature.

We'll write a book.

Paris, huh?

What the hell?

You're such a good teacher.

Should have did this in my classroom.

If you go back to work, then you can.

What? What was it?

What is this about?

What the hell is this?

I swear, Don, I do not know anything about this.

You know the scandal that this is going to be?

You've already lost your job because we slept together.

Yeah, I could appeal that.

If anyone finds out about this website, it's going to be a nightmare.

And the university?

Oh, fuck the university.

I think we need to pay a little chat to your girlfriend.

Come on.

Right now I'm touching myself all over.

I'm just correcting my breath.

And I'm sliding my finger in my mouth.

Circling my breath.

Don't you want me to touch you?

Oh my,

you are a big boy.

I think I'm going to open your fly and slide my hand in there.

I was waiting for you to ask.

Okay, right now I'm leaning over you and I'm going to run my tongue all over

you. Oh, you taste good.

Where's your right hand?

In my panties.

Oh, you excite me so much. Oh, I love it.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That feels good.

Can you feel it?

Yeah, I can feel it. This is so good.

Talk to me.

Talk to me, Christina.

Oh, God, it's coming.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, I'm right there with you, baby.

I'm right there with you. I'm coming, too.

I said just a second.

You don't have to turn off your computer.

We've seen the pictures.

I really need the money for my tuition, and I was reading all about the Internet

and about how 90 % of the websites that make any money are sex -related.

So I created a website called Christina and Friends about my sex life.

And I videotaped my sexual encounter.

You know, like one with Michael and... Oh, and when you left with Rolf... I had

David plant mini cameras in the limo.

David?

Oh, he works for me. He runs the cameras and scans the pictures. He gets off on

it. Who's Rolf?

Nobody.

Oh, I had a little double date arranged for a couple of guys.

She went with Rolf.

When was this?

Three days ago.

You slept with another guy?

Turn on the computer. I want to see. It's no big deal, John.

Look, I'm really sorry, you guys. I know you're my friend, and I really betrayed

you. Just stop with the apology bullshit.

You screwed me over.

Now the whole world can see me with Rolf and John and you.

Okay, so... Do you want to sleep with both of us at the same time?

What? No way.

I said, do you want to sleep with both of us at the same time?

You're incredible.

Oh, so is that a yes?

I lose my job this morning because we slept together.

And now I find out that I'm an actor in your friend's adult website.

My life is going down the drain.

And you guys want me to have fun on the way down?

Can we film it?

Hello?

What are we going to do now?

Do something against partners and expanding your business?

Look, if we introduce girls to business people, people who have companies who

know a lot of information, we can make a lot of money.

Go on.

Information is valuable.

Information can be sore.

So you want to blackmail them?

No, no, no. We want to take what we know and sell it to the competitors.

Okay, sounds good.

Sounds good. But if I have to sleep with the guys, you have to sleep with the

girl.

Don't have a job anyway, right?

Do you really want to do that, John?

Yeah.

Yeah, this could be fun and profitable.

Okay, so I guess I'll make some calls and then we're in business.

Should we shake on it?

Let's kick.

Just a kiss, David. Don't get too excited.

I put ads in all the free papers and the Herald Tribune. I know. We already have

a message on the machine. There's a booking for John.

Bitchin'.

Hi.

I'm a friend of Christina's.

I know.

I saw you on her website.

Champagne. Yeah, okay.

So what do you do?

I'm a banker.

Mergers and acquisitions.

I'm here in L .A. to acquire an entertainment conglomerate.

Sounds interesting.

Oh, it is so interesting. I mean, counting pages and pages of documents

business plans and looking through zillions of numbers and then more

then more numbers and more numbers. It's okay.

Let's talk about something else.

What do you do?

I dine with beautiful women.

I'll drink to that.

Sometimes more.

So what would you like for dessert?

You.

That's sweet.

It's my first time.

I mean, this job.

Don't be afraid.

I can be very nice.

Would you like to...

Didn't bring my swimsuit.

Neither did I.

something.

Laugh on me there, George and Clive.

Maybe I wasn't in the loo.

Right for me.

Brave ghost Father, I am a holy ghost

I think I'm going to go take a nap.

Are you coming?

I'll be there in a minute.

Okay. Don't be long.

How did he go?

Watch the video.

Can you narrate this for us?

Sure, I can narrate.

What do you want for dessert, she asked.

You, I answered.

Anything else?

No, that would be perfect, I said.

I was so horny for her.

She wrapped her legs around me and we made love like crazy animals.

Her nipples... Her nipples tasted like... Pete's.

Pete's, huh?

Did you learn anything interesting?

She's going to acquire 15th Century Entertainment.

It's a media company. They're listed on the NASDAQ.

We should buy up a nice amount of their stock.

You know, I bet a lot of companies would be really interested to know about

that.

Yeah, first we should buy up some shares of 15th Century.

One month later, we made $50 ,000 each when Donna bought 15th Century

Entertainment.

We were in business.

Christina's website was getting better and better.

I met many interesting guys.

and filmed each one of them under every angle.

One evening, I received a weird phone call.

Hello?

Hi, I'd like to talk to Melissa.

This is Melissa.

I heard about your service.

I'd like to have you over for dinner tomorrow night.

Hey.

Guess where I'm going.

Melissa, I presume.

I'm Dan Silverman, Donna's husband.

My wife used your service.

I don't understand.

She was in Los Angeles a month ago, a banker.

Your friend slept with my wife and then uploaded the photos to the Internet?

Oh, my God.

What are you going to do to me?

Nothing. Nothing. Don't be afraid.

I swear I didn't know.

Of course you knew. I hired a private detective.

You're Melissa Foster.

You've been sleeping with your teacher, John Griffith, for three months now. He

was fired from the school for some sort of scandal.

Your roommate runs a website called Christina and her friends.

Mr. Griffith slept with my wife, and then you all bought shares of 15th

Entertainment and got richer when she purchased the company.

Did I forget anything?

You look surprised.

You just know so much. That's my business.

I'm in the information business.

Try to know everything about everything.

What about your wife?

She doesn't know about your Wall Street act.

She doesn't even know she's on the web.

We're a very modern couple.

I spend a lot of time on the Internet.

That's how I found you.

Why me?

I've been a member of Christina's website for at least a year now.

It's a very good erotic site. I'd love to invest in your company.

Oh. So that's why you brought me here.

Of course not.

I have seen a lot of pictures of you, and I've got to say, you look even

in real life.

Well, thank you.

Are you going to call the cops?

Why would I do that?

Well, because of the website and your wife.

I want to make love with you.

So you're not going to call the cops?

Take your clothes off, please.

Are we gonna have a drink first?

Very nice.

Thank you.

Are you sure your wife won't mind?

My wife won't mind.

Oh.

Well, that was fun.

Too bad it won't be on the web.

No, I actually filmed it for my personal collection.

You have a camera behind that mirror?

Uh -huh.

I like to watch.

Well, how?

He was John's husband.

You remember John Spanker.

Did you film it? Are you kidding? He knew me from the website. He's one of

subscribers.

He filmed us.

He always films the sexual encounters.

Did he give you a tape?

I helped myself.

I know that guy.

No, you don't.

He came to campus last year.

Oh, my God, you're right.

What? Who is that?

Holy shit!

That's Michael Connor.

He's a Republican congressman.

He's from the South.

Georgia?

Georgia, yeah.

What are you doing?

I'm calling the National Enquirer. We could make a couple hundred thousand off

that footage.

Hey, you know that video of the rock star and his wife?

I think they sold about a million copies of that on a website.

We ought to put this on the web and send an alert to all of our members.

Sounds good to me.

To more sex scandals.

To more sex.

To more sex.

Just for once?

We

need

more pictures for our website.

Dan Silverman called yesterday.

He is furious about that whole sex scandal thing.

Yeah, but the National Enquirer loves the story.

What are we going to do? I got kicked out of the university.

So, you're making tons of money. What are you complaining for?

I don't know. I just didn't want to make money this way. I mean, I want to have

a real job.

What am I going to tell my dad?

I just made $30 ,000 because...

I sold a video of me and a congressman having sex.

Hey, we are entrepreneurs.

We are the sex entrepreneurs of the Internet.

Oh, sex entrepreneurs. Won't that look nice on my resume?

You only need a resume if you're going to work for somebody else, and you're

going to work for anybody else.

We make our own money, and we work for ourselves.

Well, maybe I just need a vacation.

Now, that's a great idea.

Why don't we go to Hawaii today?

Should we call David or John?

Yeah, let's leave them a message and tell them we had a big emergency.

Thank you.

So, what do you want to do? Want to go to the beach?

No, I think I'm going to do a little shopping.

Maybe if I'm lucky I'll stumble onto a good sex scandal.

But we're here to relax and have fun and have some sex.

Don't you worry. I'll be back in about an hour and then we'll go out and start

some trouble.

Okay.

Fine.

Go ahead.

Leave me.

Hello. You ordered some towel? I did, and I'll take you too.

What have you been doing?

I called room service.

He was yummy.

Okay, so I guess you didn't get a chance to check our emails then.

Who is it?

Police. Hold it up.

I'm Sergeant Marley.

This is my partner, Officer Ho Rosenstein.

Stein. Sorry.

Are you Melissa Foster?

Yes, sir.

You come downtown with us, sister.

Excuse me, what is this about?

Who are you?

I'm Christina Weber.

Ah, you come with us too, sister.

Yeah, that's one of our tapes.

Dan Silverman says you stole them.

That's a lie.

He gave it to us.

Dan Silverman's a very important man. One of his tapes has already been sold

the tabloids.

He'd like to avoid another scandal if he can.

Well, then, maybe he shouldn't. What does he want?

He wants your holly ass. Whoa -ho.

All he wants are his tapes back and his pictures taken off your website.

Are we under arrest?

Not if you play ball.

Can I make a phone call?

Make it quick.

Mr. Malick, please.

Christina, where the hell are you?

I'm in Hawaii. Listen, we really need to return those tapes to Mr. Silverman.

So could you please send them to Washington, Mr. Malick?

Is there a problem, Christina?

Yes, there is. So please do it right away.

and also delete all of the pictures from the website.

David. What happened?

Somebody got upset about the tapes, and we have to fly back.

I'll explain it all later.

I work for Mr. Silverman. I need the tapes and the floppy disk.

Everything's in there.

I just spoke with the dean and they've offered me my job back for next year.

Are you going to accept?

I love to teach. It's what I do. I'm a teacher.

You're not a sex entrepreneur?

No.

I love to make love to you, but I'm not a sex entrepreneur, no.

Should we go home?

Is that a proposition?

Yes.

My place? Your place?

Your...

Finally, you guys are back.

John's going back to teaching.

Great. What are you guys doing?

I'm looking through these tapes.

Your Prince Silverman is after something.

Thought you gave him back these tapes.

I made dubs first.

What do you think?

Think he's upset about the Senator?

No, there's something else.

He's after these tapes. The cops are after these tapes. There's something on

them. Someone we didn't recognize who's important.

How will we recognize him?

Him or her, I don't know. We'll see.

It's her. It's her.

Sarah Mansfield.

Ooh, that's a nice scandal.

The wife of the Secretary of State.

What are you doing?

Call the National Enquirer. Tell them I'm going to email that video right now.

Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't do that.

Are you kidding? She's with a woman and another man, and elections are in three

months. Do you know what the government will do to us to get that video?

Yeah, they'll kill us.

Come in.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but the journalists have been calling. You've

reporters at the door.

What's the situation?

Well, look for yourself.

The world of Washington is shocked by the release of a videotape showing a

congressman's wife with a married couple.

Yeah, that's me.

Yeah, I created the website.

Hey, it's a radio station from New York.

Yeah?

Are you Christina?

No, I'm her friend, Melissa.

May we do an interview?

How's my left profile?

Ms. Weber, Ms. Foster!

Do you feel like sex goddesses? No comment.

Are you going to be expelled from the university?

No comment.

What are you going to tell Mr. Auckland?

Well, you two certainly have brought hell down on this school.

I have parents complaining, teachers quitting, students doing God knows what.

I get 50 calls a day from radio and television stations, and they've gotten

home telephone number. My wife is going insane.

I'm really sorry, sir. On the other hand, I have... a book deal from two

separate New York publishing companies. They want my memoirs as the dean of Sex

University.

And I have hundreds of students whose parents grew up in the 60s. They're

nostalgic for the glory days of Berkeley. Sex, drugs, rock and roll, all

Well, they see us as the Berkeley of the new millennium.

And I'm being swamped from calls at the business school. Students interested in

starting their own home -based sex internet companies.

Apparently, you two are role models of some sort for a lot of people.

So, when can we come back to school?

Does this mean we can start studying again?

Yeah.

You know what?

I'm going to go call my parents. They're going to be so happy.

Yes, how can we ever thank you enough?

What are you doing?

I'm a married man.

Oh, that's okay. I'm not the jealous type. I love my wife.

Oh, good for her.

Don't do that.

Oh, what's wrong with me? I'll be better than your wife?

Thanks for letting us back in school, Mr. Auckland.

No, thank you. The pleasure was all mine.

Do you guys really want to go back to school?

I do.

Yeah.

Not really.

What are you going to do? Sex is just a game.

You have to have a real job.

Why?

Why what?

Why do I have to have a real job?

Why can't I just enjoy myself and have sex and have fun?

Because.

Because you can't.

Says who?

Want to go to Hawaii?

You and me?

Yeah.

We have our own money and big plans.

I don't want to go back to school. I just want to have sex and have fun and

enjoy life.

Are you full with that mail?

Fresh, squeezed, blind juice.

Thanks, honey.

Oh, Melissa's online.

So are you done?

No, I still got to finish the last chapter.

Have you thought of a title?

Well, I can't decide between Sex Goddess or SexCampus .com.

Hmm, sex goddess.

I like that. Sounds like a book I'd want to read.

Yeah, well, you'll read anything with the word sex in the title.

So would you, darling.

Oh, yeah, that's true.

Hey, guys.

Hi, John.

Hey, John.

How was your trip?

Good.

How's Hawaii treating you? You guys still in the same hotel?

Yeah, I really like hotels. I hate making up my own bed and picking up his

towels in the bathroom.

Well, then the hotel is the perfect place for you.

So you're still going to come visit us next week, right?

Yes. Great.

Well...

Yama, way up.

Yama.

Yama.

Bye -bye.

See you on the way.

See you on the way.