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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:11,559 (SEAGULLS CALL) 2 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,479 (MAN SIGHS) 3 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,399 Let you down, didn't I? 4 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,519 Yeah. 5 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,239 I tried. 6 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,999 Bye, Combo. 7 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,719 (SOLEMN PIANO MUSIC) 8 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,359 (MURMUR OF VOICES) 9 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,279 MAN: OK, can you all come and take your seats now, please. 10 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,399 (BELL RINGS) 11 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,159 No running! 12 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,439 WOMAN: Quiet, please! 13 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,639 Turn over your pages. 14 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,639 You may begin. 15 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:21,519 Fuck this. 16 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,239 (ALARM BEEPS) 17 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,199 (SIGHS) 18 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,359 ♫ Give it up, give it up … ♫ 19 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,039 Hi. 20 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,759 ♫ … You know what's on my mind 21 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,359 ♫ Give it up, give it up … ♫ 22 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:47,799 - Who's making me a brew? - ♫ … You've been wastin' too much time 23 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,719 ♫ You know you got what I want 24 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,559 ♫ You come on You're 'bout to blow my mind 25 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:53,839 ♫ Can you dig it? 26 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,759 ♫ Give it up, give it up 27 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,519 ♫ You've been wastin' too much time … ♫ 28 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:01,359 Oh, Looking sharp, Banj! 29 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,279 Looking good, Meggy! Ready to rock? 30 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:05,439 Ready to roll. 31 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,559 ♫ … Ah, don't wait another longer! 32 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,959 ♫ Patiently I've waited, baby 33 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,799 ♫ Waited just for you 34 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:25,719 ♫ And I ain't gonna move and act 35 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,679 ♫ Till you do what you're supposed to do 36 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:33,999 ♫ You got your thing together And I can baby too 37 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,519 ♫ And that's the very reason, baby I'm stickin' here with you … ♫ 38 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,039 What the fuck is that? 39 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,359 I can see you, you know. 40 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,519 ♫ … You know what I'm talkin' about 41 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,519 ♫ You can dig it 42 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,199 ♫ Give it up, girl 43 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:53,559 - ♫ Yeah, make me shout … ♫ - Cup of tea, Mrs Whittaker? All right. 44 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,639 Going to have to get off now, Mr Sandhu. 45 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,119 Sure, no problem. That's why I'm here. 46 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,439 She's got about 10 more minutes. Don't let her stay on 47 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:02,959 any longer because it'll overbake it. 48 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,519 Move away from here. 49 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:16,959 (WHISPERS) Get the fucking flowers, mate. 50 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,639 Move away from here, please. 51 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:19,839 What are you doing? 52 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:27,199 Right, come here! You little glue sniffer! I said come here! Hey! 53 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,959 It ain't drugs, it's summat else. Fucking hell! What have I done?! 54 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:32,479 OK, pens down, please. 55 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,439 We will come round and collect your answers. 56 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,839 You're in for quite a shock, young man. 57 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:45,239 Think you'll find it'll be me that's doing the shocking, love. 58 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,759 You may now leave. 59 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:49,679 Please leave quietly! 60 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,919 (SHRIEKS AND LAUGHTER) 61 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,359 ♫ … Give it to me 62 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:02,119 ♫ Give it to me … ♫ 63 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,559 Shaun! 64 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:08,799 Hi, love. 65 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,239 Mum? 66 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:11,559 What are you doing here? 67 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,999 I thought I'd take you for a bit of lunch, love. 68 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,039 Celebrate. 69 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,599 Looking very smart, love. 70 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,199 Yeah. When were this, here? 71 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:31,079 Brighton Rally, 1968. They called him Ripper back then. 72 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,999 More like bloody Flipper! 73 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,839 Here he is, Brando! How are you doing? 74 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:40,079 All right, son? Any chance of a soft-boiled egg, Barbara? 75 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,599 - Yeah. - I'm going. 76 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,559 All right. Have a good day, son. 77 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,479 Yeah. 78 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,599 See you later. 79 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,559 Yeah. 80 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,239 I was struggling to stay in character there, love. 81 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,519 I'm sure he knows we know, you know. 82 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,399 (MUSIC PLAYS) 83 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,599 (KNOCKS ON DOOR) 84 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:04,919 Mum? 85 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,119 How are you doing, boys? Here they are, the boys! What's this? 86 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,999 Mushroom vol-au-vent, mini quiche. 87 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:23,359 You're having a giraffe! Come here, Meggy, what's going on here? 88 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:24,719 Meggy did all the catering. 89 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:25,919 Have you made all them? 90 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:26,999 A whole range. 91 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:31,679 Fucking Lord! Come here and give me a snuggle, you great, wonderful man. 92 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:32,719 Enjoy it, son. 93 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,839 I will do, mate. You're an angel. Nice one, Banj. 94 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:35,679 That's all right. 95 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:36,719 Cheers, boys. 96 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:40,119 It'll be a good night. It's going to be a cracking wedding, this is. 97 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,239 It's going to be a frigging belter, I'm going to OD on vol-au-vents. 98 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,239 - I'm getting really excited. - How are you, lads? 99 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,999 All right. Looking forward to it. Look, I've cleaned me teeth. 100 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,599 RADIO: With only a few days to go before the World Cup, 101 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,639 the England players have been warming up … 102 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,839 There you go, love. So, how did it go? 103 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,399 It went. End of. 104 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,239 Good. 105 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,839 Your dad would be so proud of you, love. 106 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,199 Listen, Mum, I promised to do them. Doesn't mean I'm going to pass them, 107 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,079 does it? 108 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,599 So what's the plan now, then? 109 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:11,079 Erm, not really sure. I mean, I was thinking Manchester and Liverpool. 110 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,599 But I've heard that Derby is quite nice at this time of year. 111 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,879 I've decided to call it Shaun's Tour of England 1986. 112 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,159 Oh, right. 113 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:22,279 Shaun, I'm not getting you a bloody scooter. I told you that. 114 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,159 I don't like them. They're dangerous. 115 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,559 Said I'd get you a present, not put you in a coffin. 116 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,519 - I've made you an appointment, anyway. - For what? 117 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,199 The man on the line was very nice, 118 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:36,919 - he said … - Listen, Mum, 119 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,679 I've literally just finished my exams. 120 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,879 I want a bit of freedom. I don't want to go straight to jail. 121 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,279 No, Shaun, you've finished school now. You've got to get a job, love. 122 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,319 You're an adult. 123 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,679 Your appointment's three o'clock and you'd better go, cos I'll check. 124 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:55,079 I've got you a present. 125 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,039 It feels like keys. 126 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,639 Just open it. 127 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,879 You've got me a scooter, you big fat liar! 128 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,519 It's your dad's signet ring. 129 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,479 I didn't think you had the chunk on your finger so I've put at on a chain for you. 130 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,159 It's nice, isn't it? 131 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,679 Are you disappointed? 132 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,759 No … 133 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:27,519 - I just, I thought that you'd lost this. - No. No, he wanted you to have it. 134 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,559 He expected a lot from you, son. 135 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,439 So do I. 136 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,359 - HARVEY: Be quiet for a second? - GADGET: No! 137 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,919 Can we just talk about what happened, because it was very scary … 138 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,079 What happened is you ran off! 139 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,159 If all else fails, tomorrow you can become a superhero. 140 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:51,519 I can see it, mate. Lard On Toast Man! Asthma Man! You'd be brilliant. 141 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,399 Taking the mick out of my asthma? That's not a funny thing, is it? 142 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:55,479 Wouldn't take the mick if I was in a wheelchair. 143 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,799 I would, actually, mate. 144 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,159 I couldn't get traction in these trainers, right? 145 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,239 She was built like a brick shit house and looked like the Terminator, mate. 146 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,879 She was as fierce as him as well. 147 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,519 Mate, I'm appalled by your antics. 148 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,359 Deeply appalled. It was offensive to the eye 149 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,759 and we can no longer be friends. You deserve to be told. 150 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,199 You deserve to have a bit of physical punishment, I also think. 151 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:13,759 Oh, fuck! The bus, Gadge! 152 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:14,719 - Oh, mate! - Start running! 153 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,719 Frigging hell! 154 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,999 Hurry up! Come on, just run, you divvy! 155 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,079 - I'm running as fast as I can! - Hold the bus! 156 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,719 Hold the bus! 157 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,039 Here she is. 158 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,159 'Ey up! 159 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,359 What the bloody hell's that? 160 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,439 It's a calming mix of sage and sandalwood. 161 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:33,199 It fucking stinks, I know that. 162 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,759 What are you wearing? 163 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:35,919 It's nice, isn't it? 164 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,999 WOODY: Lol's dress. Hi, Trev. 165 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,039 How you doing? 166 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,159 - Hello, Kel. - How are you doing, gorgeous? 167 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:42,239 Yeah, I'm all right. 168 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:43,399 (TALK OVER EACH OTHER) 169 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:44,439 Where is she? 170 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:45,799 (THEY CHEER) 171 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,919 (THEY HUM BRIDAL CHORUS) 172 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:53,919 All right? 173 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,399 Yeah, cool. 174 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,479 You look beautiful. 175 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,239 You don't need no dress, do you? 176 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,239 You look lovely, Lola. 177 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,439 Sorry, everybody, man. 178 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:04,119 - 'Ey up! - Nearly missed the fucking bus. 179 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,039 - MILKY: Bloody hell. Where's Gadge? 180 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,599 (THEY CHEER) 181 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,239 (TALK OVER EACH OTHER) 182 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,119 - HARVEY: He's done good today. - MILKY: Has he done well? 183 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,359 - Proper good, yeah. - You all right? 184 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,239 - Yeah. Wicked. - Look at these. 185 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,759 What the fucking hell are them? 186 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,159 Have you got them from Transylvania? 187 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,639 Fucking graveyard, mate. We ain't got no fucking money, have we? 188 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:27,279 A graveyard?! Is it going to come with a frigging entity as well? 189 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,399 Going to haunt us? 190 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,719 (BUS BELL RINGS) 191 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,879 Has anyone got a fag that I can have, please? I'm gagging. 192 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,519 Cheers, bud. Thank you. 193 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:43,599 ♫ Daisy, Daisy 194 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:47,839 ALL: ♫ Give me your answer, do 195 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:51,839 ♫ I'm half crazy 196 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,399 ♫ All for the love of you 197 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:58,559 ♫ It won't be a stylish marriage 198 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:02,519 ♫ I can't afford a carriage 199 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,759 ♫ But you'll look sweet 200 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:06,359 ♫ Upon the seat 201 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,199 ♫ Of a bicycle made for two 202 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:15,679 ♫ Daisy, Daisy … ♫ 203 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,719 (WHISPERS) God's sake. 204 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:33,199 (EXCITED CHATTER) 205 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,479 SMELL: Before you know it 206 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,119 - you're gonna be married … - Yeah. 207 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,479 … and it's gonna feel like an injection. 208 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:39,999 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 209 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,039 - LOL: … I might do. - Oh, this is so exciting! 210 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,239 WOODY: Whoa-ho-ho! 211 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:44,799 Eh? 212 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,399 There? 213 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:47,439 That? 214 00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:48,519 This?! 215 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,079 Yeah, that. What's bloody wrong wi' it? 216 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,639 I'm glad I put my cupcakes in Tupperware boxes. 217 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,159 Best you could find, was it? 218 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:59,279 £22, that's wedding and reception. Can't get better than that now. 219 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,919 I bet if we'd have brought the camp beds 220 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,119 they would have chucked in the honeymoon as well though, eh? 221 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,679 Will you behave yourself? Are you all right with this? 222 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,519 Yeah, it's great, Woody. It's what I've dreamed of all my life(!) 223 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,399 What do you have to be like this for? It's all right. It's nice, isn't it? 224 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,439 - I don't like it. - Don't shake your head like that. 225 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,959 What's the fucking matter with you? Christ's sake! We all look beautiful. 226 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,039 Banj and Meg have made some shit going on here, what's this? 227 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,279 Cupcakes and vol-au-vents. 228 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,479 Cupcakes and vol-au-vents. And vol-au-vents! Harv and Gadge, 229 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,719 they've been and nicked some flowers, haven't they? 230 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,119 It's the event, not the venue. 231 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,679 That's what it is. It's the event, it's not the venue. Love, please don't be mad. 232 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,359 - You like it, don't you, Banj? - I like it. 233 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,079 Frigging loves it. Let's go get pissed in it. 234 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,319 I hope it looks better on the inside than it does on the outside. 235 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:40,359 It's bloody industrial. It's a strong building. That's why it looks like that. 236 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,999 It's nice inside. 237 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,519 Fuck me, it's Trudy. 238 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:47,799 - Oh, Trudy! - Hello. 239 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:48,839 Hello, Trudes. 240 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,279 Ding-Dong Bells wedding services, you are our destiny. 241 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:57,119 We'll make your special day in a special way your special day. 242 00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:58,719 In a special way. 243 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,279 That was fucking crap! 244 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,079 Don't mind them. 245 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,079 - We're booked in for about three. - I know. I've been looking forward to it. 246 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,719 Do you know? If you'd have given me three more weeks, 247 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,799 I'd have been in there doing your service. 248 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:13,679 I'm getting my licence, ain't I? Licence to kill romance! It's a joke! 249 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,839 No, but seriously, you two. 250 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,599 Together forever. 251 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,319 Do you know what, Woody? 252 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,999 Can you remember, you bought your first pair of Docs off me, didn't you? 253 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,079 I did do, yeah. I did an' all. 254 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,599 I was the one who pretended you didn't have wide feet. 255 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:27,639 (LAUGHTER) 256 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,919 I didn't have wide feet! They weren't massive. 257 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:30,959 He really did. 258 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,399 Even the Clarks extra wide ones were too narrow for your great squares, chick. 259 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,199 I never, ever forget a foot, me. Young Gary here, 260 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,199 once had a Dairylea triangle stuck down his sock, 261 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,599 but still, his feet were completely normal. 262 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,319 You promised you wouldn't say anything about that! 263 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,559 Can you remember, Gary? 264 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:48,919 You used to, um, look at me boobs when I was tying up your laces. 265 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,719 I was eight years old and you were a grown woman. 266 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,919 - You should have known better. - You're all grown up now though, 267 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,679 - aren't you, darling? - (KNOWING MURMURS) 268 00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:00,799 (DRIVING, PACY MUSIC) 269 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,799 Halt! 270 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,759 Turn around. 271 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,559 Move! 272 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,839 Fucking hell! I'm sorry, Flip, mate, I'm trying to get out of the way. 273 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,079 Get out of my way then, you bell-end. 274 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,399 (HORN BEEPS) 275 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,079 Fucking sort it out! 276 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:45,919 Ginge. 277 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:50,239 - 'Ey up. Here come the Budgies. - What have you got there, Shaun? 278 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:51,399 Some chips. 279 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,799 Well, that's rude. 280 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,959 - Well, do you want one? - No. Higgy might. 281 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,199 Yeah, I'm hungry, Shaun. 282 00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:58,919 - Here, do you want one? - No. 283 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,279 Go on then, Shaun. I'll have a chip. 284 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,959 Come on. 285 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,519 Fuck off with your ginger chips, Shaun! 286 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,439 What do you want? 287 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:13,319 I'm glad you asked, Shaun. I need a favour. You know Gemma Hitchins? 288 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,559 Sweet Tits? 289 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,719 - Yeah. Sweet Tits Gemma. - Yeah. 290 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,519 I need you to go round her house and call her a fat ugly dog in front of me, 291 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,159 so I can stick up for her and make her wanna go out with me. 292 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:24,199 Do what?! 293 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:25,919 You heard him, orange pubes. 294 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,799 You are going to go round her house and call her a fat dog. 295 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,119 I'm not thick. I know that if I just go round there, 296 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,879 I'm gonna call her a fat dog, and you're just gonna punch my face in. 297 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,319 On my honour, mate, I won't touch you. 298 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:37,439 I promise. 299 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:38,879 I might shout a little bit, 300 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,119 maybe trip you up or something, just to defend her honour, all right? 301 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,199 She's going to go, "Wow, he's my hero. 302 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,759 "Come here, Flip." I'm going to go … 303 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,319 And you're going to fuck off 304 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,479 - and I'm going to start fingering her. - While I watch. 305 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,599 Why don't you just try being nice to her? 306 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,279 The whole point is she thinks I'm a bully and stuff. 307 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:01,199 By doing this, I'll make her see that I'm dead sensitive and stuff and that, 308 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,359 as well as being hard. 309 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,359 Come on, Shaun, mate, I was just starting to like you. 310 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,999 And what if I say no? 311 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:11,399 I'll knock your fucking tooth out. Now drop your fucking chips and get on. 312 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,359 Better hold on tight as well, Shaun, 313 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,079 because it's going to be a fucking frisky ride. 314 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,119 Do I have to? 315 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,759 Don't fucking talk neither. I'm fed up with you now. 316 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,399 What the fuck is going on here? 317 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:23,879 You told to me to get on the bike … 318 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,919 Get off the bike, I'm not a fucking homo. 319 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,159 Get on his bike. 320 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:32,999 - Fucking Jesus. - (SCOOTERS REV) 321 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,759 (SILENCE) 322 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,839 (DOOR SQUEAKS) 323 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,039 - Is Mum still not answering? - No. 324 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,519 Did I tell you 325 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,359 - I've got a bit of gippy tummy, Woods? - No. 326 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:25,559 Oh … (FARTS) … there it goes again. 327 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,479 Regular as clockwork. 328 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,199 Enjoy, Meg. 329 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,559 ALL: Aw! 330 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,679 (CHEERING) 331 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,039 (APPLAUSE) 332 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,079 Hey, good luck, mate. 333 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,919 What you on about? He's not even getting bloody married! Nice one, cheers. 334 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,359 Congratulations, guys. 335 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,559 TRUDY: Good luck. Nice to see you all. 336 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,239 - See you! - MAN: Have a safe journey. Travel safe. 337 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,599 (SIGHS) I'm going to go and call Mum again. 338 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,799 - Yeah. - (DOOR SHUTS) 339 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,239 (DOORBELL RINGS) 340 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,759 Yeah, just come round to say that … 341 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,599 … you're a fat pig. For fuck's sake! 342 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,519 How did I get roped into doing this?! 343 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,159 Fucking … 344 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,399 Hiya. 345 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:24,879 - Hi, Shaun. - How are you, all right? 346 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:25,919 Yeah. 347 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:26,959 Did, erm …? 348 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,079 Yeah, I just thought I'd come round to … 349 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,239 to say that, 350 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,279 school's out! 351 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,319 Yay! 352 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,079 Flip and Iggy are in here 353 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,159 - if you wanna come in. - Are they? 354 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,719 - Yeah. - I've not seen them for absolutely ages. 355 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,599 It's weird, innit? 356 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:44,639 What? 357 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,759 How that's got its own rug. 358 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:51,599 Yeah, mate. 359 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,199 I know even weirder, though. 360 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,839 What's that? 361 00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,439 Who'd sit in that chair? 362 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,639 It's ridiculous. 363 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,959 Oh, hi, Shaun. 364 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:11,999 Hello, Shaun. 365 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,999 - Hiya. - Sit down. 366 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,959 What are you doing, Ginge? 367 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,399 Sitting down. 368 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,599 Get up. Sit over there. 369 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:36,159 There you go. It's fresh out. And there's, um, some glasses, 370 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:37,959 because it's dead common drinking out of the bottles. 371 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:38,999 Saved you a seat. 372 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,679 It's not nice, is it? 373 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,719 Dead good, aren't they, SodaStreams? 374 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:43,759 Oh, yeah. 375 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,959 So, have you thought about what you're going to do now, 376 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,079 after you've finished school and stuff? 377 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,479 Yeah, I'm doing a health and beauty course down at the college 378 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,119 and then probably do hairdressing or manicure or something. 379 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,479 Oh, that sounds like a really good course. 380 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:56,839 Yeah, it is. 381 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,439 Are you having a drink, Gemma? 382 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,519 No, it's for Shaun. It's all right. 383 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,559 You're welcome, Shaun. 384 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:06,959 So … 385 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,439 … erm, 386 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,879 Gemma, I was … 387 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,639 I don't know what he's doing. 388 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,559 I was thinking. 389 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:18,599 What? 390 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,279 - Maybe you could be a fat dog. - You what? 391 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,119 - A big fat … - You take that back! 392 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,199 A fat dog? 393 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,119 All right, I'll take it back. I take it back! 394 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,839 That's so crap. 395 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,279 Gemma, I will protect you. 396 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,799 Ow! 397 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,599 - That's my dad's lamp. - You fucking arsehole! 398 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,319 You said you weren't going to hit me. 399 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,319 No, I never, Ginge. I never said nothing about hitting. 400 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:39,679 - Have you set this up? - No. 401 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:40,919 No, er, nah. 402 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,559 Yeah, you have. You set this up. 403 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,879 You've got him to come in here and call me a big fat dog 404 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,319 so you look the big knight in your white plimsolls. Are you fucking thick?! 405 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,439 Fuck it, I'm dying here. 406 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:54,119 Nobody cares, Ginge. Shut up! I'm not thick, Gemma. Argh! 407 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,559 Yeah, well your eye's thick now, isn't it? 408 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,479 Not my face. I start my new job next week. 409 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,839 You've got a fucking job? 410 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,199 Shut your frigging gob, Ginge. 411 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,719 - I've had enough of you. - Stop hitting me, Gemma. 412 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:06,119 Nutter! Gemma, I love you, all right? 413 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,239 Yeah, well, I'd rather go out with him than you. At least he's not a horrible, 414 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:11,039 rude bastard! 415 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,599 You're dead, Fields. 416 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:13,839 Shut up! 417 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,559 You can run, but I'm going to get you in a minute. 418 00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,719 You're not in court, you know. 419 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,239 Smile. 420 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,239 Richard! Richard!. 421 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:29,159 - Hiya. - You didn't expect to see us, did you? 422 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,999 No. 423 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,799 We're not angry with you, love. 424 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,559 This looks … wonderful. 425 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,319 Sit her down, Dad. 426 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:40,199 That's brilliant. Who the fucking hell's invited them? 427 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,039 Don't look at me. 428 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:45,319 - I'm telling you, do not look at me. - You've upset me with that. 429 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,399 (SNIFFS) 430 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,079 (MUSIC PLAYS) 431 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:11,319 ♫ You say you love me 432 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:17,839 ♫ I say I love you 433 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:22,359 ♫ Why don't you stop your crying 434 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:27,559 ♫ Dry your weeping eyes? 435 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,359 ♫ You know I love you 436 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:37,039 ♫ Ooh babe, ooh babe, here I am 437 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:42,399 ♫ Come rub it 'pon my belly like guava jelly 438 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:48,039 ♫ Ooh, babe, child, here I am 439 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:54,839 ♫ Come rub it 'pon my belly like guava jelly … ♫ 440 00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,519 Who's invited my mam and dad? 441 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,479 (WHISPERS) At least they fucking made it. My mum didn't even turn up. 442 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:03,879 I didn't even want them here, though, did I? 443 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,479 You've ruined every bit of today. Do you want to ruin this bit as well? 444 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:07,879 - Hello? - BOTH: Hi. 445 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:12,759 I'd like to welcome you all to the wedding of Frances Lorraine Jenkins and … 446 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,079 (WHISPERS) Where's Meggy? He's going to miss it at this rate. 447 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,479 I think he's still having a shit, in't he? 448 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,039 Oh, Gadget, shut up! 449 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,399 It was … 450 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,479 Gary, I'll fucking kill you with me hands, do you understand? 451 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,759 It was … 452 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:26,799 - Understand? - Sorry. 453 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,719 - Sorry, love. - Right. 454 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,079 As I said, I'd like to welcome you all 455 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:37,639 to the wedding of Frances Lorraine Jenkins and Richard James Woodford. 456 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,159 This is a union between … 457 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,879 2 to 1 ?! 458 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,439 I'll give you fucking 2 to 1 . 459 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:49,999 Oh! 460 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:51,679 Ohh! 461 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,799 - (RATTLING) - Hello? 462 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:09,519 Hello! 463 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,679 We're closed, love, sorry. Are you OK? 464 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,319 No, not really, no. 465 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,999 Listen, I know I'm late but please can I come in and be seen 466 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:25,999 because my mum's going to go spare with me 467 00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:28,359 - if I don't. - I'm sorry, love. Everyone's left. 468 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,719 Can you not see me quick? Please? 469 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:35,359 I can take your name and number and get someone to call you in the morning. 470 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,039 No, it's fine. 471 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,599 Maybe this is just God's way of telling me to sign on, eh? 472 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,359 Come back in the morning. Someone will see you tomorrow. 473 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,599 Thanks for nothing(!) 474 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:57,039 REGISTRAR: It is an agreement that is exclusive of all others … 475 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,279 (WHISPERS) Go check on Megs, mate. 476 00:24:58,400 --> 00:24:59,519 (WHISPERS) He's having a shit. 477 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,079 I know, yeah, but mad arse over here thinks something else. 478 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,159 Please go and just check on him. Come on, mate … 479 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,159 … why these two may not be legally married, 480 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,319 may they speak now or forever hold their peace. 481 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,639 Just go and bloody check on him. 482 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:11,759 … Fuck it up. 483 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,999 Er, don't … 484 00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:15,479 Sorry again. 485 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:20,479 Meggy, they're saying "I do". Will you hurry up, please? 486 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,159 - (KNOCKING) - Megs! 487 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,079 (KNOCKING CONTINUES) 488 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,479 If you could turn to face each other, 489 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,799 we'll do the vows. 490 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,839 Do you, Frances Lorraine Jenkins, take Richard James Woodford 491 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,959 to be your lawful wedded husband? 492 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,359 I do. 493 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,119 And do you, Richard James Woodford, 494 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,279 take Frances Lorraine Jenkins to be your lawful wedded wife? 495 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,279 - (MOUTHS) - Go on, son. 496 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,759 (WHISPERS) Woody, this isn't funny. 497 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:25,039 Woody? 498 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,319 We've got a great big fucking problem. I'm dead sorry, but Meggy … 499 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,359 - What?! - I think he's had a heart attack, Banj. 500 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,159 I'm sorry. 501 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,519 Banj, get the door! Watch out! 502 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,799 (CONFUSED SHOUTING) 503 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,279 (MUFFLED BANGING) 504 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,879 - You'll be OK. - Oh, Meggy! 505 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,919 (CONFUSED SHOUTING) 506 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,639 It's OK, son. It's all right. 507 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,319 - Where's that fucking ambulance? - Come on, you fucker! 508 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,919 (SIREN WAILS) 509 00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:01,519 (INDISTINCT MUTTERING) 510 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,679 Jesus! What's happened to you? 511 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:12,999 I had an accident with a lava lamp. 512 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:17,199 It's Shaun, isn't it? Cynth's lad? I'm Lol's mum. 513 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,399 Remember I wore that gold blouse to your mum's 40th? 514 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:21,559 Yeah. 515 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,199 Come on, then. Get in before you bleed to death. 516 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,759 - You all right? - Yeah. 517 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:32,279 This is Mick. 518 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,239 Hi, Mick. Nice wheels. 519 00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:37,079 Mind the seats. 520 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:42,519 Come on, enough yapping. We've got a life to save. Get to the bloody hospital. 521 00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:59,439 (WOMAN CLEARS THROAT) 522 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:18,599 Come on. 523 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,399 Oh, look at how ill he is. 524 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:30,959 Shut the fuck up, Woody. 525 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,039 What is your deal today? 526 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,199 Do you know Meggy's not well? Your timing's shit! 527 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:37,239 Are you for real? 528 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,159 Course I'm for real. I'm just saying it's fucking bad timing. 529 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,879 I can't sign bloody registers and have me photo taken while he's throwing up. 530 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,039 - Cut the crap, Woody! - What?! 531 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:48,279 You had about two hours to say "I do" before Harv bust in. 532 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:53,799 What did you invite my mum and dad for? 533 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,879 Oh, what the fuck has that got to do with it? 534 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,319 It's just a reminder of what we could end up being. 535 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:02,199 It wouldn't actually be that bad because I'd have a ring on my finger. 536 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,479 Fucking hell. 537 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:09,919 I love you, you know. Lola, I love you. 538 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,839 I fucking love you. Oi! 539 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,559 Well, if you were that scared, then … 540 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,399 you should have fucking said something. 541 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:20,039 Look, did you see him? Look at him? They used to call him 542 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,359 the fucking Ripper, mate. He were a wild man. 543 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,359 They stuck a ring on his finger and he ended up wearing a bloody suit and tie 544 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,639 all week and a jumper at weekends. 545 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,479 That's why we became skinheads, innit? 546 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,199 I don't want to be like that, Lola. 547 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,759 I knew it was what you wanted. I'll give you whatever you want. 548 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,959 And then today I just … it got too much, Lola. 549 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,079 Oh, God, Woody, nobody wants what I've just had, fucking trust me. 550 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:44,919 Sweetheart, look. Listen to me. 551 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,359 The timing has been fucking useless. 552 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,519 I know that it's been useless, but I love … 553 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,799 Oh, my God! 554 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,719 Did I want your dad? 555 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:57,799 Did I? 556 00:30:57,920 --> 00:30:59,519 No. 557 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,279 I wanted you, Woody. And fuck you for not noticing that. 558 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:03,519 I'm sorry. 559 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,159 You know what? And for the record, 560 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,319 you started turning into your dad since you got that promotion. 561 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,799 I am still a fucking skinhead at heart. 562 00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,559 Marriage isn't the problem here, Woody, you are. 563 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:26,799 Fuck me! 564 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:37,519 Which one of you is Banjo? 565 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,039 - That's me, Doctor. Is he all right? - D'you want to follow me? 566 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,199 Is he all right? Can we all come and see him? 567 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,999 - Family only, I'm afraid. - Yeah, right, like Banjo's his … 568 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,799 - He said he was his brother. - We're all brothers, Doc. 569 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,039 - We're all family. - We're all his family. 570 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,599 Here he is, my man! 571 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,839 - How are you doing, my man? - He's still very sick, so … 572 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,079 Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, please! 573 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:04,159 Now, he's very sick. 574 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,359 And some of you are going to have to wait outside. 575 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:07,759 Oh, come on, mate. 576 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,919 - We're all family. - I don't care. 577 00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:12,519 Please let them stay. 578 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,479 We've got the same last name. 579 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,759 - Just take it easy with him, please. - We will. 580 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,199 - Thank you. - Cheers, mate. 581 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,599 We've got a wedding reception to celebrate, haven't we? 582 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,359 There's been a bit of a bloody hitch there, Meg. 583 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,919 Right, left a bit, Gadge. 584 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:32,479 Right a bit, Gadge. 585 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,239 "Left a bit, Gadge. Left a bit, Gadge." Make your mind up, mate. 586 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,239 Listen, Ronnie Biggs, if you'd not fucked up in the first place, 587 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:38,359 we wouldn't be in this mess, would we? 588 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:41,799 Mate, you try making cans look like flab, mate. It's not the same thing. 589 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:44,479 Left a bit. 590 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:49,519 Are you all right? 591 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:53,519 Er, no, I'm not. Do you think she'll ever forgive me? 592 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:56,439 I don't know. She's had a crap life, mate. 593 00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:57,959 She doesn't really deserve that. 594 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,399 (SPLAT!) 595 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:01,479 Fuck! You're dropping them! 596 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,439 Sorry, sorry! 597 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,399 You're not sorry if you keep throwing them, are you? 598 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:07,959 You claim you're sorry. 599 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:10,639 Shaun. 600 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:13,639 Shaun! 601 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,879 Shaun, fucking hell. 602 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,919 Who's that wi' him? 603 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,399 I wondered where you'd got to. 604 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:54,359 How did you find me up here? 605 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,959 You know me, Lola, I can always sniff you out. 606 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:09,959 You remember when we were kids? 607 00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:13,359 Lola, he will be OK. 608 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,479 I don't know, we just have to … 609 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:22,439 - adjust the marriage settings on him. - It's been eight years, Milky. 610 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,919 I know it's been eight years, Lola, but he does love you. 611 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,199 You remember when we were kids? 612 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,079 You two used to take it in turns 613 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,879 to take me on dates down the swimming baths. 614 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,839 One week Woody, one week you. 615 00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,119 It was frigging expensive. 616 00:34:40,240 --> 00:34:43,519 That's why I could only afford once a fortnight. 617 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,519 Then to top it off, you used to make us buy you crisps on the way out. 618 00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,199 Yeah, and a Wham bar and a Panda Pop if I'd got a thirst on. 619 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,319 You always were the princess to please. 620 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,639 He liked smoky bacon, you liked cheese and onion. 621 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,239 Still do. 622 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,639 At times I think I picked the wrong crisp buyer. 623 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:21,519 Look, Lola, we'd probably better get back in. 624 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,119 Yeah. 625 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:28,639 Lola … 626 00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:33,119 … he's not going to hurt you again. 627 00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:34,719 I promise you that. 628 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:54,359 All I'm saying is we get this thing right and it'll be fun, yeah? 629 00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:57,519 We get it wrong and the fun stops. 630 00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:58,879 Gadget, it's wheelchair racing. 631 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,999 Yeah, I know it's just wheelchair racing, Kel, yeah. 632 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:03,399 I understand this, but we need to set some guidelines. 633 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:04,919 We need to set some rules up. 634 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,079 - Chill out a minute, mate. - Three, two, one, Rasferino! 635 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:09,319 Come on! 636 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:10,799 What the fuck? 637 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:11,999 (WHOOPING) 638 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,599 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 639 00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:17,119 Ha-ha! 640 00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:18,279 Whoo! 641 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,879 (♫ HOUSEMARTINS: Happy Hour) 642 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,559 (WHOOPING AND SHOUTING) 643 00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:31,479 Stop it! 644 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,359 Go on. 645 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:36,119 All right, duck? 646 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:39,079 Oh, your wheel! 647 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:40,799 Oi, Gadge, who do you think …? 648 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:44,799 (INDISTINCT SHOUTS) 649 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,039 - Oh! - Jesus! 650 00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:59,039 - Are you all right? Fucking hell. - Yes, I'm all right. Get off. 651 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:00,279 Mum? 652 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:02,759 Hi, Kel. 653 00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,159 What the hell are you doing here? 654 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:10,119 (UNHEARD CONVERSATION) 655 00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:13,999 - And, er, it had like … - Hello, stranger. 656 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:15,879 I'll leave you two to it. 657 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,319 - Am I all right to be in here? - It's fine. 658 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:19,919 Hiya. 659 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:23,279 Smell, what …? What are you wearing? 660 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,079 Oh, my dress. I made it earlier. 661 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,679 It's Lol's wedding. 662 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,959 We're here, though, because we thought Meggy had shat himself, 663 00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:31,679 but he's had a heart attack. 664 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:33,239 Meggy had a heart attack? 665 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:34,359 - Yeah. - Is he all right? 666 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,559 - Yeah. - God! 667 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:47,119 How come you stopped hanging around with us, Shauno? 668 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,479 It's been three years. 669 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:54,639 I don't know. Well, I do know. Everything that happened, 670 00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:57,199 you know, with Combo and Milky, it kind of, you know, 671 00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,679 with me being there and everything, it felt part … 672 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:01,759 I felt a bit like it was my fault. 673 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,439 Yeah, but it wasn't your fault. 674 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,239 Well, I thought it was. 675 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,199 It wasn't your fault, Shaun. 676 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:11,719 You couldn't have done anything more. You got Milky to the hospital. 677 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:13,399 You were just a baby. 678 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:18,999 Yeah, but if I was man enough, then, you know, I wouldn't have been so stupid 679 00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,639 to believe everything that Combo said … and … 680 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:27,359 You know what my gran used to say? 681 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:31,079 Get back on the horse before it turns to glue. 682 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:33,799 Yeah. 683 00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,719 - I've missed you, you know. - I missed you as well. 684 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:39,599 I've really missed you. 685 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,799 Don't you follow me with your guilt shit! 686 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,159 Come on now. 687 00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:54,599 I can't even talk to you. 688 00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:56,279 Come on, course you can, Kel. Don't be like this. 689 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,319 It's your daughter's wedding day. 690 00:38:58,440 --> 00:38:59,439 Yes, I know. 691 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:00,479 So where have you been? 692 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,359 Something came up, all right? 693 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,199 You've been with him, haven't you? 694 00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,399 Look, I don't want everyone listening to our business, if you don't mind. 695 00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,959 Don't mind me, love. I'll probably be dead in the morning. 696 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,839 - You don't even give a shit. - Of course I do. 697 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:14,599 - Don't speak to me like that, either. - "Don't speak to me like that"? 698 00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:16,759 You didn't even turn up on your daughter's wedding day. 699 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,039 Hey! 700 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,999 Meggy's not well here. Have a little bit of respect, yeah? 701 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,559 He's been told to take it easy, so take your argument outside. 702 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:26,199 - Yeah, we will. - Now! 703 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,239 - Kelly! - Don't even shout at me. 704 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,479 Oi! I can bloody hear you down the frigging corridor. 705 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:37,399 It's nice of you to fucking turn up, isn't it? 706 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:41,679 - Oh, don't you bloody start … - Where the fuck have you been? 707 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:43,999 Yeah, I'm sorry, love. I just got caught up. 708 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:45,399 Oh really? Fucking … 709 00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:47,999 Just, come on … It's not like she's missed owt, is it? 710 00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,759 - You can shut the fuck up an' all! - What? Wedding never happened? 711 00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:53,039 You know what? This was meant to be the best day of my fucking life. 712 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,199 Turned her down, Mum, at the altar. 713 00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:56,959 - So you're not married? - Do I look married? 714 00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:58,519 Well, you don't look like a bride. 715 00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,519 - Nice outfit(!) - Oh, don't. Why do you have to …? 716 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,359 - Well, come on … - Oi, oi, oi! 717 00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,919 Why come out with something like that? What the fuck are you wearing? 718 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,479 - So you're not getting married, then? - Oh, like you care(!) 719 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,879 You're still moving in together though, yeah? 720 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,239 There's things I want to do with that room. 721 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:13,799 What's that supposed to mean? 722 00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:15,879 Look, Lola, calm down, will you, please? 723 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,079 Me and you are still going to move in together. 724 00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,119 - Oh, are we now? - I wanna look after you, Lola. Please! 725 00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:22,519 It's not that simple, Woody. 726 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:26,599 Of course it is. Lola, I want you to live with me and I wanna look after you. 727 00:40:26,720 --> 00:40:29,559 Yeah, go on, Lola, move in with him. 728 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,199 Complicated becomes simple if you give it long enough. 729 00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:33,839 Trust a lady who's lived it. 730 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:37,279 I need to think about it, Woody. 731 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,159 You think as long as you want. 732 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,999 Look at me. Look at me, Lola, I bloody love you … 733 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:45,239 more than anything. Nowt'll ever change that. 734 00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,639 All right. Just give me a fag. 735 00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:51,559 Ta. 736 00:40:59,720 --> 00:41:01,519 MEGGY: I'd like to make a toast. 737 00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:07,439 No, no, but seriously, even though you never 738 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:11,959 technically got married today, this is still a wedding reception. 739 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,959 And no-one's made a best man's speech yet. So I'd like to say … 740 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:17,959 No, sweetheart, Meg, you weren't best man, love. 741 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,879 No, no, no, no. But I nearly died, 742 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,919 - so that's as good as. - All right. 743 00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:23,799 I'd just like to say 744 00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:28,719 that, as I was walking down this long, white corridor 745 00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:32,719 recounting my life's very many achievements … 746 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,519 Many achievements?! It were a fucking short tunnel. 747 00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:40,279 … I thought … 748 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,159 Well, I thought … 749 00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:46,919 … I love you all. 750 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,679 Nice, Megs. 751 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:50,359 - Oh, Meg. - Cheers, Megs. 752 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:51,559 Nice one, Megs. 753 00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:55,079 I'd like to make a toast to … to us, 754 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,719 even though I haven't got a glass to raise. 755 00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,839 - Use your piss bag. - Yeah! He'll do it. 756 00:41:59,960 --> 00:42:04,079 - It's just Meggy's piss, man. - I'd like to raise a toast to all of us. 757 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,679 - Yeah! - To us! 758 00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:11,079 - He's alive! - Well done for not dying. 759 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:13,239 (ALL CHEER) 760 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,399 No, no, no! I just … 761 00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:19,999 (JUMBLED MURMUR OF CONVERSATIONS) 762 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,839 Thanks for the lift and that, mate. 763 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,679 (TURNS ON TAPE) 764 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,799 (♫ FLEETWOOD MAC: Man Of The World) 765 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:39,799 ♫ Shall I tell you about my life? 766 00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:44,439 ♫ They say I'm a man of the world 767 00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:50,119 ♫ I've flown across every tide 768 00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:55,239 ♫ And I've seen lots of pretty girls 769 00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:07,719 ♫ I guess I've got everything I need 770 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,679 ♫ I wouldn't ask for more 771 00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:18,039 ♫ And there's no-one I'd rather be 772 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,279 ♫ But I just wish 773 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,719 ♫ That I had never been born … ♫ 54177

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