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1
00:00:04,016 --> 00:00:08,403
It was the kind of night where you
could feel time flow over you like...
2
00:00:08,723 --> 00:00:11,502
...the amnesiatic waters
of the river Styx.
3
00:00:13,228 --> 00:00:14,628
That is terrible.
4
00:00:14,873 --> 00:00:17,226
"Amnesiatic"?
I don't think that's a word.
5
00:00:19,196 --> 00:00:20,792
This doesn't work, either.
6
00:00:21,432 --> 00:00:22,758
Here we go. Here we go.
Here we go.
7
00:00:25,353 --> 00:00:26,553
No.
8
00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:36,000
Oh, yeah. This is so good.
9
00:00:38,227 --> 00:00:39,627
No, it's not.
10
00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:50,587
Who am I kidding?
11
00:00:54,603 --> 00:00:57,393
-Aphrodite?
-Can't sleep, huh?
12
00:00:59,021 --> 00:01:00,432
You scared me.
13
00:01:00,981 --> 00:01:04,573
Sorry, I didn't know I had
to knock in my own temple.
14
00:01:05,063 --> 00:01:08,312
You don't, but can you just keep it
down? I don't wanna wake Xena.
15
00:01:09,071 --> 00:01:10,957
Pregnant girl
needs her rest, huh?
16
00:01:11,531 --> 00:01:14,251
I remember when Cupid
was on his way.
17
00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:18,655
Doesn't a god of your obvious stature
have anything better to do...
18
00:01:18,656 --> 00:01:20,871
...than hang out here
in the middle of the night?
19
00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:23,876
What's with the attitude?
20
00:01:24,097 --> 00:01:26,219
I let you sleep in my temple...
21
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:29,014
I show real concern
for your insomnia and...
22
00:01:29,015 --> 00:01:32,399
...you treat me like I'm
a rash where the sun don't shine.
23
00:01:32,929 --> 00:01:34,558
I didn't mean to be rude.
24
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:37,573
I don't wanna bother you
with my troubles.
25
00:01:38,554 --> 00:01:39,854
Sweet-pea...
26
00:01:40,342 --> 00:01:43,941
I am immortal, you know?
I got nothin' but time.
27
00:01:47,363 --> 00:01:48,873
The doctor is in.
28
00:01:53,319 --> 00:01:56,273
See these?
These are my scrolls.
29
00:01:56,274 --> 00:01:58,421
I wrote them.
I wrote all of them.
30
00:01:58,582 --> 00:02:01,840
It's like a... It's like a diary
of my travels with Xena.
31
00:02:03,084 --> 00:02:06,096
When I wrote them I just...
I felt so complete...
32
00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:08,354
I don't know why I stopped.
33
00:02:12,547 --> 00:02:15,601
Something keeps telling me
that I have to start writing again.
34
00:02:16,085 --> 00:02:19,097
-Well, why don't you?
-It's not that easy!
35
00:02:19,782 --> 00:02:22,236
I don't have time for it, for one thing.
36
00:02:22,317 --> 00:02:24,725
Tell me, how you would write
about today.
37
00:02:24,726 --> 00:02:27,727
-You mean, if I could.
-E ent�o?
38
00:02:28,233 --> 00:02:29,433
Well?
39
00:02:32,029 --> 00:02:34,635
Today... started
like any other day.
40
00:02:36,518 --> 00:02:40,700
Xena and Joxer and I... were trying
to find a name for Xena's baby.
41
00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:43,459
I came up with the best one.
42
00:02:43,669 --> 00:02:45,925
How 'bout the name
"Rochelle"?
43
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,281
And have her called "Roach" for short?
I don't like that.
44
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:53,177
How do you guys know it's gonna be a girl?
Maybe it'll be a boy.
45
00:02:55,999 --> 00:02:57,199
All right.
46
00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,389
-How 'bout "Aloysius"?
-That's not funny.
47
00:03:01,753 --> 00:03:03,073
It was a thought.
48
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,224
I'm glad we're
almost to Pilos.
49
00:03:06,225 --> 00:03:08,097
I know someone
who's getting a little hungry.
50
00:03:08,098 --> 00:03:10,682
Oh... Pregnant woman's hungry.
There's news.
51
00:03:12,127 --> 00:03:14,501
-And cranky.
-Cranky?
52
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:18,287
I haven't been cranky for years.
53
00:03:19,384 --> 00:03:21,536
Joxer, have you ever seen me cranky?
54
00:03:25,984 --> 00:03:27,599
Tell the truth, Joxer.
55
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,780
Now you listen to me, monkey-man.
56
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:38,198
You ever do that again,
and you'll find my fist down your throat.
57
00:03:38,403 --> 00:03:40,694
I always wanted to be an uncle.
58
00:03:41,436 --> 00:03:43,542
Hello there, little fella!
59
00:03:44,869 --> 00:03:47,219
Well, you think you can cut me down
without dropping me flat on my face?
60
00:03:47,814 --> 00:03:49,114
No.
61
00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:55,500
Rise and shine, everyone.
62
00:04:02,762 --> 00:04:03,944
So, have ya?
63
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,213
No?
64
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,202
Cop out.
65
00:04:13,265 --> 00:04:16,256
All right, Xena, it's not your fault,
with your condition and all.
66
00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,001
You're patronizing me.
67
00:04:18,002 --> 00:04:20,659
Gabrielle, I am in full control
of my mood swings.
68
00:04:21,249 --> 00:04:23,978
-You wanna bet?
-Anything you name.
69
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,586
How 'bout a month
of cooking and cleaning...
70
00:04:26,587 --> 00:04:28,971
...that you can't go a whole day
without losing your temper?
71
00:04:28,972 --> 00:04:31,176
You throw in back rubs
and you got a deal.
72
00:04:31,177 --> 00:04:32,377
It's a deal.
73
00:04:34,343 --> 00:04:35,543
Doesn't count.
74
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,470
That's ok. In the spirit of friendship,
I will take the horses to the river.
75
00:04:41,551 --> 00:04:43,964
-You can have lunch in town.
-I'll help ya.
76
00:04:43,965 --> 00:04:46,768
Joxer, no, you have to stay with Xena.
Not that I don't trust you.
77
00:04:46,849 --> 00:04:48,429
All right, Gabrielle.
78
00:04:48,904 --> 00:04:52,893
You take good care of my baby. Make
sure you rinse her down with cold water...
79
00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:55,977
...and hitch her to something.
She'll probably come looking for me.
80
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:57,928
Not that I don't trust you.
81
00:04:57,969 --> 00:05:00,985
I just don't want anything to happen
that might make me... mad.
82
00:05:01,828 --> 00:05:04,069
It doesn't take a genius
to wash a horse.
83
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:07,089
Well, it'll come in handy for all those
backrubs you're gonna give me...
84
00:05:08,634 --> 00:05:09,834
Come on, dummy.
85
00:05:14,138 --> 00:05:16,943
Did you hear that?
Xena telling me how to bathe you...
86
00:05:17,455 --> 00:05:18,855
What do I add? Water?
87
00:05:21,199 --> 00:05:23,389
She must think
I'm like Joxer or something.
88
00:05:24,051 --> 00:05:26,917
Xena doesn't do any cleaning.
Have you smelled her feet lately?
89
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,581
Good girl.
90
00:05:41,185 --> 00:05:42,447
What happened to you?
91
00:05:49,809 --> 00:05:52,938
In the time of ancient gods,...
92
00:05:55,168 --> 00:05:56,240
...warlords...
93
00:05:56,592 --> 00:05:57,652
...and kings...
94
00:05:58,127 --> 00:06:01,842
...a land in turmoil
cried out for a hero.
95
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,983
She was Xena.
96
00:06:13,381 --> 00:06:14,983
A mighty princess...
97
00:06:14,984 --> 00:06:17,083
...forged in the heat of battle.
98
00:06:21,612 --> 00:06:22,970
The power...
99
00:06:24,630 --> 00:06:26,251
The passion...
100
00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:30,600
The danger...
101
00:06:36,139 --> 00:06:38,731
Her courage will change the world.
102
00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:43,327
XENA, THE WARRIOR PRINCESS
103
00:06:45,313 --> 00:06:48,304
So, you shrunk her horse!
Big deal!
104
00:06:48,305 --> 00:06:50,519
Everybody shrinks as they get older.
105
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,765
That's why old people
are so short.
106
00:06:52,766 --> 00:06:54,545
Now, that's very constructive.
107
00:07:00,010 --> 00:07:01,410
What are you writing?
108
00:07:01,411 --> 00:07:04,001
Patient is hostile and insecure...
109
00:07:04,082 --> 00:07:07,448
Possibly masking
some latent tendencies.
110
00:07:09,725 --> 00:07:11,115
This is stupid.
111
00:07:13,108 --> 00:07:14,701
No, I'm sorry.
112
00:07:16,749 --> 00:07:19,216
Look...
No more scroll, all right?
113
00:07:19,619 --> 00:07:22,999
Latent tendencies?
Where did you learn to talk like that?
114
00:07:23,648 --> 00:07:25,853
Honey, don't let the blonde hair
fool you.
115
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:28,630
Although bombastic forms
of circumlocution...
116
00:07:28,631 --> 00:07:30,416
...should be generally avoided...
117
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:33,437
...one mustn't shy away from big words
in the right context.
118
00:07:33,558 --> 00:07:35,210
-What?
-Nothing.
119
00:07:35,356 --> 00:07:37,374
Please, continue.
120
00:07:38,202 --> 00:07:40,987
-Where did I leave off?
-Shrunken horse?
121
00:07:41,515 --> 00:07:42,715
Right.
122
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:46,640
What happened to you?
123
00:07:47,773 --> 00:07:49,543
Divine retribution.
124
00:07:51,923 --> 00:07:53,676
That's what happened.
125
00:07:55,117 --> 00:07:56,397
Who are you?
126
00:07:56,678 --> 00:07:59,665
Lachrymose,... god of despair.
127
00:08:00,806 --> 00:08:02,172
Can't you read?
128
00:08:04,683 --> 00:08:06,478
"Property of Lachrymose."
129
00:08:10,863 --> 00:08:13,855
You used my spring
to wash your horse.
130
00:08:13,856 --> 00:08:16,557
Next you'll be
stabling him in my temple.
131
00:08:17,087 --> 00:08:17,956
I...
132
00:08:17,957 --> 00:08:19,231
I'm so sorry.
133
00:08:20,817 --> 00:08:22,162
You gotta admit...
134
00:08:23,498 --> 00:08:25,593
...that dedication
is hard to spot.
135
00:08:27,318 --> 00:08:29,908
Ok, it was an honest mistake.
Can't you change her back?
136
00:08:30,254 --> 00:08:32,853
Please?
This isn't my horse.
137
00:08:32,854 --> 00:08:35,072
It's Xena's.
You've heard of her, right?
138
00:08:35,924 --> 00:08:38,934
She's killed thousands of men, and
with the mood she's in right now...
139
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,785
...she will not think this is funny.
140
00:08:41,583 --> 00:08:45,960
So?
I've never laughed in my whole life.
141
00:08:46,263 --> 00:08:48,442
-You're kidding...
-I wish I was.
142
00:08:48,443 --> 00:08:50,186
I've never done that, either.
143
00:08:50,347 --> 00:08:53,821
I can make you laugh.
I bet I could.
144
00:08:54,323 --> 00:08:57,588
I hate puns or jokes
or riddles.
145
00:08:57,589 --> 00:09:00,085
I tell stories.
True stories.
146
00:09:00,126 --> 00:09:02,652
Let's say...
if I can make you laugh...
147
00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:05,004
...you make Argo large again.
Deal?
148
00:09:05,750 --> 00:09:08,914
Well, you can try,
but I doubt it'll work.
149
00:09:09,376 --> 00:09:11,562
All right.
Just don't underestimate me.
150
00:09:11,643 --> 00:09:13,083
Xena does that.
151
00:09:14,582 --> 00:09:16,882
In fact... you're gonna love this.
152
00:09:16,883 --> 00:09:19,646
There was this time where she...
she was trying to warn me against...
153
00:09:19,647 --> 00:09:21,247
...catching this rabbit and...
154
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,840
You're such a cute little rabbit.
155
00:09:52,246 --> 00:09:55,960
It's funny now, but at the time
I was just a big carrot stick.
156
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,884
And that's it?
157
00:10:02,996 --> 00:10:05,182
No, no.
I'm just warming up.
158
00:10:11,589 --> 00:10:14,061
-Kid's got staying power.
-Yeah.
159
00:10:17,134 --> 00:10:19,406
-Some set of pipes, huh?
-What?
160
00:10:19,567 --> 00:10:22,058
-I said, some set 'a lungs.
-I can't hear you.
161
00:10:22,059 --> 00:10:25,441
-Some set 'a lungs!
-Oh, yeah. Swell.
162
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:45,631
Did that mean old
warrior princess scare you?
163
00:10:45,632 --> 00:10:47,432
-Yes, yes.
-Nice move.
164
00:10:47,593 --> 00:10:50,394
Are you kidding me?
I scared it mute.
165
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:53,229
What kind of a mother am I gonna make?
166
00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:55,465
Oh, come on, Xena.
You're terrific with kids.
167
00:10:55,586 --> 00:10:58,813
Gabrielle never told you
about King Gregor's child, huh?
168
00:11:01,026 --> 00:11:03,240
Look, I may not be
nanny material...
169
00:11:03,241 --> 00:11:05,642
...but you try baby-sitting
through a sword fight.
170
00:11:17,815 --> 00:11:19,015
So?
171
00:11:19,016 --> 00:11:21,695
Well, so your...
method's a little unorthodox.
172
00:11:22,054 --> 00:11:24,681
It doesn't mean it's not
full of love and concern, you know?
173
00:11:24,682 --> 00:11:26,570
-You think?
-Sure.
174
00:11:26,837 --> 00:11:28,425
Well, maybe you're right, huh?
175
00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:30,469
After all, how much do kid's cry
anyway?
176
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,090
That little rascal
stole all of Cupid's arrows...
177
00:11:39,091 --> 00:11:40,697
...and went on a shooting spree.
178
00:11:41,179 --> 00:11:42,862
I'm talking about baby Bliss.
179
00:11:42,863 --> 00:11:44,963
You know,
Cupid and Psyche's son.
180
00:11:45,377 --> 00:11:47,793
If you get hit
with one of those arrows...
181
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:50,385
...you fall in love
with the first person you see.
182
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,200
These are for you.
183
00:11:57,599 --> 00:11:59,018
Let go of my cow!
184
00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:03,172
Bessie... Bessie...
185
00:12:12,851 --> 00:12:14,432
I thought it was cute...
186
00:12:17,957 --> 00:12:19,955
...until I became the bull's-eye.
187
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:26,609
Xena?
188
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,393
Gabrielle?
189
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:31,899
Xena?
190
00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:38,431
Tastes like sweat!
191
00:12:39,204 --> 00:12:40,604
Does yours?
192
00:12:47,251 --> 00:12:50,270
Well, I guess ya...
had to be there, huh?
193
00:12:51,462 --> 00:12:52,662
All right.
194
00:12:53,021 --> 00:12:55,617
Let's find out what kind of humor
you do like.
195
00:12:55,618 --> 00:12:56,822
Slap-stick?
196
00:12:58,634 --> 00:13:00,047
Have faith.
197
00:13:18,426 --> 00:13:21,421
What about... action?
Sim?
198
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,319
Everybody loves
a good chase sequence.
199
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:27,661
Like the time we went to India.
I don't get that place.
200
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:37,376
No! Stop!
Somebody's trying to kill me?!
201
00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:42,291
No!
202
00:13:43,546 --> 00:13:46,400
Maybe that's India's way
of rolling out the red carpet.
203
00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:48,714
Moving right along.
204
00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:52,575
How about...
a little romantic comedy?
205
00:13:54,429 --> 00:13:56,041
Look! Cherries!
206
00:13:58,228 --> 00:13:59,844
I love cherries.
207
00:14:02,823 --> 00:14:04,029
Me too.
208
00:14:06,314 --> 00:14:08,103
Did I mention I'm a widow?
209
00:14:08,104 --> 00:14:09,654
There's no reason
why we can't be adults about this...
210
00:14:09,799 --> 00:14:10,975
...and have a little fun.
211
00:14:13,030 --> 00:14:15,340
Are you suicidal?
212
00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:17,452
Oh, don't worry, Xena.
213
00:14:18,188 --> 00:14:19,951
I got just what you need.
214
00:14:20,219 --> 00:14:21,175
And plenty of it, too.
215
00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:27,860
Gaea... like Attus?
216
00:14:29,740 --> 00:14:31,940
Attus is quite a surprise!
217
00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:33,299
Here!
218
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:34,275
Put something on...
219
00:14:37,066 --> 00:14:38,558
Are you kidding?
220
00:14:38,719 --> 00:14:42,720
Honey... God or no god,
Lachrymose is still a man.
221
00:14:42,973 --> 00:14:45,000
You should've tried
a little sex appeal.
222
00:14:45,001 --> 00:14:47,696
That's the only way
to really entertain the weaker sex.
223
00:14:49,704 --> 00:14:50,956
I tried that.
224
00:14:57,776 --> 00:15:00,544
Well, nothing quite
like a woman's touch.
225
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,214
Didn't your mother ever teach you,
it's rude to stare?
226
00:15:18,937 --> 00:15:20,932
Hey, I paid for an hour.
227
00:15:26,199 --> 00:15:28,463
-What is this?
-You know...
228
00:15:28,464 --> 00:15:30,148
Slumber-party mode.
229
00:15:30,149 --> 00:15:32,474
It's the only way to really talk
about sex.
230
00:15:32,475 --> 00:15:35,282
-I feel ridiculous.
-Want me to pierce your ear?
231
00:15:35,283 --> 00:15:35,893
No!
232
00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:46,125
So, let me ask you this.
233
00:15:46,305 --> 00:15:49,501
Isn't all this story-telling
an awful lot like writing?
234
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,992
It's similar, but with writing...
235
00:15:53,193 --> 00:15:57,420
...it's like talking to yourself.
It's a way that you can work things out.
236
00:15:58,046 --> 00:16:00,979
Of course, I know now
exactly who I am.
237
00:16:01,951 --> 00:16:04,534
So then who cares?
Why write?
238
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:07,683
Haven't you ever had
an artistic impulse...
239
00:16:07,684 --> 00:16:09,571
...that's like a bad itch...
240
00:16:09,572 --> 00:16:12,312
...and you just have to keep working on it
until you get it out?
241
00:16:12,313 --> 00:16:15,929
Of course! Who do you think
accessorizes all these outfits?
242
00:16:16,130 --> 00:16:20,130
Someone's gotta put those shoes
with that jacket and so on.
243
00:16:21,242 --> 00:16:22,949
I'm glad you understand.
244
00:16:24,219 --> 00:16:25,619
That's what I'm here for.
245
00:16:27,218 --> 00:16:31,157
So... what did Xena do when
she found out about the horse?
246
00:16:32,607 --> 00:16:35,996
Xena and I are best friends.
There aren't any secrets between us.
247
00:16:37,283 --> 00:16:39,809
-You stalled, huh?
-Exactly.
248
00:16:42,188 --> 00:16:44,559
What is taking her so long?
249
00:16:46,235 --> 00:16:48,468
-I don't know.
-Joxer, just pay the bill.
250
00:16:48,469 --> 00:16:50,285
I can't.
Gabrielle took my money.
251
00:16:53,258 --> 00:16:55,945
-Let's get her.
-Yeah.
252
00:17:02,028 --> 00:17:03,641
Hey, watch it, woman.
253
00:17:05,104 --> 00:17:08,175
Hey, aren't you Xena,
Warrior Princess,...
254
00:17:08,176 --> 00:17:11,291
...who jailed the bloody warlord
Taylor-Taygar?
255
00:17:11,899 --> 00:17:15,104
-What of it?
-Taygar's my brother.
256
00:17:16,015 --> 00:17:17,355
Prepare to die!
257
00:17:23,975 --> 00:17:27,078
-What's with him?
-Family problems.
258
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,473
I blame the parents.
259
00:17:29,230 --> 00:17:32,242
-How was your meal?
-A little too much salt.
260
00:17:33,779 --> 00:17:36,367
Unfortunately,
there's been a slight delay, Xena.
261
00:17:36,368 --> 00:17:38,394
You're never gonna guess why.
262
00:17:38,882 --> 00:17:41,486
Let me.
First you got your nails done.
263
00:17:41,487 --> 00:17:43,297
Then you went to your ballet lesson.
264
00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:45,986
No, but you get the supplies
and meet me at the spring.
265
00:17:45,987 --> 00:17:47,625
I'll be there, ready to go.
266
00:17:50,007 --> 00:17:53,451
Guess she must 'a just pulled free
and wandered away.
267
00:17:53,649 --> 00:17:54,849
She's gone?
268
00:17:56,383 --> 00:17:57,663
Argo's gone.
269
00:18:02,522 --> 00:18:05,600
So you shrunk her horse
and then you lost him. So what?
270
00:18:05,601 --> 00:18:06,818
So what?
271
00:18:06,979 --> 00:18:10,073
Do you know how important
Argo is to Xena?
272
00:18:10,074 --> 00:18:13,067
Sometimes I think she likes that horse
more than she likes me.
273
00:18:25,849 --> 00:18:29,263
I can't count the number of times
that Argo has saved Xena.
274
00:18:35,168 --> 00:18:37,776
-What are you doing?
-I don't like animals.
275
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,817
They're dirty and smelly...
276
00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:42,237
...and just thinking about them
makes me want to take a bath.
277
00:18:43,904 --> 00:18:46,865
-Do you want your own tub?
-No, I'm fine, thank you.
278
00:18:50,427 --> 00:18:51,996
What is that smell?
279
00:18:52,864 --> 00:18:54,790
It smells like chocolate.
280
00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:58,383
Essence of white chocolate,
to be exact.
281
00:18:58,967 --> 00:19:01,559
Haven't you heard
that chocolate's an aphrodisiac?
282
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:03,578
It's one of my little secrets.
283
00:19:04,531 --> 00:19:05,731
Anyway...
284
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,624
I looked for that little horse
everywhere.
285
00:19:09,948 --> 00:19:13,539
Ok. We got peanuts...
We got pickled eggs, castor oil...
286
00:19:14,207 --> 00:19:16,430
All we need now
is a sack of flour.
287
00:19:16,511 --> 00:19:17,898
Did you get prunes?
288
00:19:18,289 --> 00:19:20,103
Yeah, what's life
without prunes?
289
00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:33,351
Argo...
290
00:19:35,572 --> 00:19:37,385
Argo! Where are you?
291
00:19:40,085 --> 00:19:42,160
Bag of wheat, bag of wheat...
292
00:19:42,832 --> 00:19:45,092
Look there, the last one on the shelf.
293
00:19:46,366 --> 00:19:48,974
So... You thought you got
rid of me, huh?
294
00:19:48,975 --> 00:19:51,063
Well, better luck next time.
295
00:19:52,949 --> 00:19:55,106
Luck has nothing to do with it.
296
00:19:59,482 --> 00:20:02,665
-Nice save!
-And it's on special, huh?
297
00:20:02,986 --> 00:20:06,174
Clean up on aisle 7.
298
00:20:06,375 --> 00:20:08,607
Not so tough now,
are you, Mr. Tough Guy?
299
00:20:09,158 --> 00:20:11,939
Nah, he's just an oaf.
Here.
300
00:20:14,516 --> 00:20:16,809
See?
What I'm more concerned about is that.
301
00:20:16,810 --> 00:20:20,804
Any kid of mine is going to encounter some
pretty strange and dangerous things.
302
00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:22,594
Giants...
303
00:20:44,555 --> 00:20:47,008
You know, you should
find a different line of work.
304
00:20:47,009 --> 00:20:50,849
Like what?
I'm a blind cyclops, for crying out loud.
305
00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:17,450
Giants?
306
00:21:19,327 --> 00:21:22,131
Giants?
Hades, that's the least 'ayour problems.
307
00:21:22,332 --> 00:21:24,093
Let's see, there's...
308
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,609
...dryads...
309
00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:34,962
What is it?
310
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:42,773
Harpies...
311
00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,113
Bacchae...
312
00:22:02,939 --> 00:22:06,813
Oh, sure... That kid 'a yours
is gonna encounter a host of problems.
313
00:22:06,814 --> 00:22:10,627
Let's see. Pestilence, disease,
foot rot,misery,...
314
00:22:11,159 --> 00:22:12,596
...but you know what, Xena?
315
00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:15,580
That kid's got something
it couldn't get anywhere else.
316
00:22:15,581 --> 00:22:17,399
-What?
-You.
317
00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:24,302
Thank you. Thank you.
318
00:22:24,303 --> 00:22:25,103
Argo...
319
00:22:26,619 --> 00:22:27,378
Argo...
320
00:22:29,109 --> 00:22:30,469
Excuse me.
Argo!
321
00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:32,469
Argo!
322
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,094
Argo!
323
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:41,602
Argo...
324
00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:44,488
Come here.
What are you doing?
325
00:22:44,649 --> 00:22:46,968
Hey... You trying
to get me into trouble?
326
00:22:52,627 --> 00:22:56,217
Lachrymose, I'm so happy to see you.
You have got to change Argo back.
327
00:22:57,211 --> 00:22:59,651
You don't realize how important
she is to Xena.
328
00:23:00,031 --> 00:23:01,351
Oh, touching.
329
00:23:04,715 --> 00:23:06,714
But we had a deal, remember?
330
00:23:06,915 --> 00:23:10,707
Will you give me a break?
Unless you can't do it.
331
00:23:10,988 --> 00:23:13,060
I mean, maybe you're not god
enough to do it.
332
00:23:13,538 --> 00:23:16,348
I mean... Who's gonna ride her
the way she is now?
333
00:23:16,709 --> 00:23:19,098
-No one is that small.
-Oh, yeah?
334
00:23:37,094 --> 00:23:37,736
Argo!
335
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:42,247
No!
336
00:23:42,434 --> 00:23:43,634
Stop, Argo!
337
00:23:44,254 --> 00:23:46,868
Hey, hey, boy!
Come on, are you trying to kill me?
338
00:23:47,422 --> 00:23:48,622
Calm down!
339
00:23:50,340 --> 00:23:51,218
Argo!
340
00:23:51,855 --> 00:23:54,348
Oh, I'm gonna die!
Argo, calm down!
341
00:23:54,454 --> 00:23:57,318
Calm down, girl!
Come on, it's me. It's Gabrielle!
342
00:24:04,289 --> 00:24:06,482
Calm down!
Yes!
343
00:24:06,652 --> 00:24:07,852
All right!
344
00:24:07,853 --> 00:24:11,243
Girl, calm down!
Yeah! That's it.
345
00:24:15,185 --> 00:24:16,580
I gotta think.
346
00:24:22,672 --> 00:24:25,847
See, you don't need to tell Gabrielle,
'cause I don't mean to be cranky.
347
00:24:25,888 --> 00:24:27,567
I just can't seem to help it.
348
00:24:27,568 --> 00:24:30,587
Hey... You're pregnant.
349
00:24:30,588 --> 00:24:32,427
That's the way pregnant women are.
350
00:24:32,428 --> 00:24:34,060
-That's right.
-Sure.
351
00:24:34,361 --> 00:24:37,574
Though I should try to remain calm,
'cause that's what's best for the baby.
352
00:24:37,575 --> 00:24:40,474
Oh, sure.
I'll get it.
353
00:24:49,980 --> 00:24:53,992
I've learned how my actions can
have consequences for this child and...
354
00:24:54,579 --> 00:24:56,581
...I just wanna do my best.
355
00:24:56,582 --> 00:24:57,282
Xena...
356
00:24:57,814 --> 00:25:01,617
Take it from me. If anybody
can love and protect that kid...
357
00:25:02,249 --> 00:25:03,449
...it's you.
358
00:25:04,409 --> 00:25:05,598
Come here.
359
00:25:10,020 --> 00:25:11,528
All right, that's enough.
360
00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:13,210
-Let go of me.
-Ga...
361
00:25:14,711 --> 00:25:17,086
Eggs... Eggs!
362
00:25:19,046 --> 00:25:19,840
Argo...
363
00:25:24,729 --> 00:25:25,929
What?
364
00:25:26,924 --> 00:25:29,285
I'll go. I'll go get the eggs.
365
00:25:29,507 --> 00:25:30,707
Excuse me.
366
00:25:30,708 --> 00:25:32,903
First you buy it, then you eat it.
367
00:25:33,792 --> 00:25:35,208
Well, that's pretty.
368
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,052
Joxer!
369
00:25:45,270 --> 00:25:46,090
Gabrielle...
370
00:25:47,026 --> 00:25:48,213
What happened?
371
00:25:48,935 --> 00:25:51,013
I'll explain later.
I need your help.
372
00:25:51,174 --> 00:25:52,360
Ok.
373
00:25:53,192 --> 00:25:56,377
Wait a minute.
This is our golden opportunity.
374
00:25:56,929 --> 00:25:59,774
You are gonna be my new partner.
375
00:26:00,980 --> 00:26:04,990
Joxer and little pal.
Look. Your new sword.
376
00:26:04,991 --> 00:26:06,182
Oh, gods!
377
00:26:06,183 --> 00:26:06,908
Joxer!
378
00:26:07,214 --> 00:26:10,017
Sorry. Sorry.
I got a better idea!
379
00:26:10,138 --> 00:26:11,718
You can be a circus act!
380
00:26:11,719 --> 00:26:15,261
"Joxer and his amazing
sideshow freak."
381
00:26:21,502 --> 00:26:24,113
Joxer, I need your help
to find the god who did this...
382
00:26:24,114 --> 00:26:25,735
...to change us back.
383
00:26:25,816 --> 00:26:28,032
Ok. What am I gonna tell Xena?
384
00:26:28,345 --> 00:26:31,135
I don't know. Make something up.
Tell her anything.
385
00:26:36,718 --> 00:26:38,921
Now, what am I gonna say to a god?
386
00:26:51,983 --> 00:26:54,995
Lachromose!
God of despair!
387
00:26:55,236 --> 00:26:57,825
Hear my plea and appear!
388
00:26:59,025 --> 00:27:01,649
Just try and stay still, Argo,
please.
389
00:27:04,399 --> 00:27:06,577
Life is so awful!
390
00:27:08,134 --> 00:27:09,327
Really?
391
00:27:11,689 --> 00:27:13,260
How awful?
392
00:27:16,115 --> 00:27:17,355
You're...
393
00:27:17,556 --> 00:27:21,035
You're... the first god I've ever summoned,
you know? 'Cause...
394
00:27:22,653 --> 00:27:23,463
Joxer!
395
00:27:26,095 --> 00:27:29,282
Well... It all started
when I was a child.
396
00:27:30,826 --> 00:27:33,278
I was a happy kid...
at first.
397
00:27:33,872 --> 00:27:36,750
But then, Mom and Dad
started fighting.
398
00:27:37,591 --> 00:27:39,420
He'd get tanked
and take the chariot...
399
00:27:42,312 --> 00:27:44,027
...no matter
who tried to stop him.
400
00:27:46,009 --> 00:27:48,180
One day... he lost control of it.
401
00:27:49,019 --> 00:27:50,559
Mom took it hard...
402
00:27:51,627 --> 00:27:54,429
...and then she took a coupl'a arrows
from Dad's creditors and died.
403
00:27:56,971 --> 00:27:59,177
-It's just not fair!
-No, it's not.
404
00:27:59,178 --> 00:28:02,378
But tell me more.
Tell me more. It must get worse.
405
00:28:12,838 --> 00:28:15,328
You actually thought
Joxer was gonna help?
406
00:28:15,709 --> 00:28:18,225
Joxer has pulled through for us
several times.
407
00:28:18,412 --> 00:28:19,612
Really?
408
00:28:20,049 --> 00:28:21,249
Like when?
409
00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:23,880
Joxer...
410
00:28:30,273 --> 00:28:33,291
OK, forget that.
No, but Joxer, sometimes, he...
411
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,120
Attus glad that over.
412
00:28:45,858 --> 00:28:48,855
Well, no, no, no, no, no,... no, no.
No, Joxer...
413
00:28:48,856 --> 00:28:50,448
He can be...
414
00:28:58,226 --> 00:29:01,567
Oh, no. Ok. Once...
There was this time that he...
415
00:29:07,706 --> 00:29:10,983
Oh, Meg.
Gee, you got big feet for a girl.
416
00:29:10,984 --> 00:29:12,500
I always thought that the g...
417
00:29:14,646 --> 00:29:16,006
Hi, fellas.
418
00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:18,330
Ok.
419
00:29:20,682 --> 00:29:23,281
There was a time that Joxer...
420
00:29:23,482 --> 00:29:24,688
I'm Joxer, by the way.
421
00:29:24,829 --> 00:29:25,829
Gabrielle.
422
00:29:26,617 --> 00:29:27,803
Got you now!
423
00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:32,573
Ok, you win.
424
00:29:33,102 --> 00:29:36,579
But Joxer is a loyal friend,
and he's a great travelling companion.
425
00:29:36,580 --> 00:29:39,199
Don't get me wrong.
I love the poor dope.
426
00:29:42,909 --> 00:29:46,297
You know, he convinced Lachrymose
to return me to my normal size.
427
00:29:46,298 --> 00:29:49,748
Really? Joxer's pathetic life
was right up his alley, huh?
428
00:29:49,789 --> 00:29:52,550
Yeah. Not even Lachrymose was laughing.
429
00:29:53,891 --> 00:29:56,495
Oh, dear, that's terrible.
430
00:29:57,639 --> 00:29:59,425
Please, tell me it gets worse.
431
00:30:00,519 --> 00:30:02,345
Some wounds never heal.
432
00:30:16,294 --> 00:30:18,103
Watch my stuff, wouldja?
433
00:30:18,343 --> 00:30:20,347
I'm gonna go get my friend
from the tavern.
434
00:30:23,624 --> 00:30:25,144
I don't feel so good.
435
00:31:08,188 --> 00:31:10,803
All right. Anyone seen
a guy in a little pointy hat?
436
00:31:17,945 --> 00:31:21,524
Is that supposed to be funny?
437
00:31:22,631 --> 00:31:24,111
No, I just got lucky.
438
00:31:28,445 --> 00:31:29,645
Tough crowd...
439
00:31:35,330 --> 00:31:37,725
Well... No Gabrielle,
no Joxer.
440
00:31:40,156 --> 00:31:42,241
At least there's someone
who won't desert me.
441
00:31:44,727 --> 00:31:46,207
Argo, come back!
442
00:31:49,499 --> 00:31:50,786
You again?
443
00:31:52,888 --> 00:31:55,107
Just wait till I catch you.
444
00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:56,208
No, no.
445
00:32:02,378 --> 00:32:04,105
Must be Lachrymose-intolerant.
446
00:32:04,106 --> 00:32:06,512
You know, you could find her easier
if you made her big again.
447
00:32:07,233 --> 00:32:09,665
Now, you are not as dumb
as you look.
448
00:32:09,709 --> 00:32:10,909
Well...
449
00:32:13,949 --> 00:32:15,149
Farewell.
450
00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:23,326
Joxer!
451
00:32:26,938 --> 00:32:28,200
Let's get outta here!
452
00:32:29,215 --> 00:32:30,495
Lighten up.
453
00:32:34,121 --> 00:32:36,822
Ah, now, that is devotion.
Here, girl!
454
00:32:46,841 --> 00:32:48,523
Look, a stray dog!
455
00:32:48,524 --> 00:32:50,537
They took a dog and put
a horse head on it!
456
00:32:50,698 --> 00:32:52,562
Wow, what do you have to do?
Add water?
457
00:33:07,906 --> 00:33:11,675
Gabrielle!
458
00:33:16,850 --> 00:33:17,634
Gabrielle!
459
00:33:18,713 --> 00:33:19,913
What is that?
460
00:33:21,725 --> 00:33:22,965
I can explain.
461
00:33:24,245 --> 00:33:27,646
Look at that! Cold water!
She said "cold water"!
462
00:33:27,647 --> 00:33:30,239
Xena, now don't get mad.
It's not good for the baby.
463
00:33:31,383 --> 00:33:33,333
Ok, I... Xena!
464
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,913
All we have to do
is make Lachrymose laugh.
465
00:33:35,914 --> 00:33:38,113
Then we can have Argo
back to the way she was.
466
00:33:40,935 --> 00:33:42,599
Say your prayers, Xena.
467
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,108
Allelujah.
468
00:33:55,286 --> 00:33:56,486
All right.
469
00:33:57,689 --> 00:33:59,272
Ok, now, I'm not mad.
470
00:33:59,477 --> 00:34:01,481
I'm just very,
very disappointed.
471
00:34:16,445 --> 00:34:17,885
And as for you...
472
00:34:18,337 --> 00:34:18,886
No, no.
473
00:34:19,290 --> 00:34:21,159
Think about it. Think about it!
474
00:34:23,685 --> 00:34:25,405
Hey! She hit Bob!
475
00:34:27,117 --> 00:34:28,357
It was her.
476
00:34:29,867 --> 00:34:30,987
What?
477
00:34:35,035 --> 00:34:36,768
I'll take a pie, please!
478
00:34:50,753 --> 00:34:52,145
You forgot to duck!
479
00:34:54,645 --> 00:34:55,925
So did you.
480
00:34:57,945 --> 00:34:59,400
Get 'em!
481
00:35:42,652 --> 00:35:45,788
Joxer... Never pie
a pregnant woman.
482
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:58,080
Heads up!
483
00:36:11,551 --> 00:36:13,138
Which one of ya threw that pie?
484
00:36:42,832 --> 00:36:44,249
Heads up, Lachrymose.
485
00:37:45,049 --> 00:37:48,133
A stupid, boring,
unfunny excuse...
486
00:37:48,134 --> 00:37:50,457
...for a pie fight
finally made him laugh?
487
00:37:50,458 --> 00:37:51,651
Go figure.
488
00:37:52,477 --> 00:37:54,813
You must 'a been aiming too high
the rest of the time.
489
00:37:54,854 --> 00:37:56,054
I guess so.
490
00:37:58,632 --> 00:37:59,831
You ok?
491
00:38:00,675 --> 00:38:03,481
-This isn't working.
-What's not working?
492
00:38:03,602 --> 00:38:05,922
I thought telling you
the Lachrymose story...
493
00:38:05,923 --> 00:38:08,530
...would somehow end
my writer's block.
494
00:38:08,944 --> 00:38:10,144
Oh, well...
495
00:38:10,145 --> 00:38:12,525
At least you got him in touch
with his inner child.
496
00:38:13,538 --> 00:38:16,100
-That's it.
-What?
497
00:38:17,263 --> 00:38:20,024
-That's the answser.
-What are you talking about?
498
00:38:20,556 --> 00:38:22,758
Ever since Xena became pregnant...
499
00:38:22,759 --> 00:38:26,860
...I have been trying to find a way
to make the world a better place.
500
00:38:27,412 --> 00:38:30,735
And I've allowed no time
for the things that make me happy...
501
00:38:31,803 --> 00:38:33,212
...like my writing.
502
00:38:34,596 --> 00:38:36,809
I think I've been
too afraid...
503
00:38:36,890 --> 00:38:39,692
...that I've lost that part of me
that's a bard.
504
00:38:40,958 --> 00:38:42,158
Anyway.
505
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:44,441
Maybe my writing
will help Xena's baby...
506
00:38:44,442 --> 00:38:46,820
...figure out who he or she
really is.
507
00:38:48,813 --> 00:38:51,359
Well, it looks like my work here
is done.
508
00:38:52,509 --> 00:38:54,850
-Wait.
-What?
509
00:38:54,851 --> 00:38:58,373
-You got a lot of catching up to do.
-Thank you.
510
00:38:59,407 --> 00:39:00,982
Don't thank me yet.
511
00:39:01,955 --> 00:39:03,550
Wait till ya get my bill.
512
00:39:27,373 --> 00:39:29,390
And the day ended as it began.
513
00:39:29,511 --> 00:39:31,379
Alongside my friends.
514
00:39:35,313 --> 00:39:38,306
You know, I gotta tell ya,
I am feeling a whole lot better.
515
00:39:38,467 --> 00:39:40,704
I mean, life's pretty sweet
for me right now.
516
00:39:41,007 --> 00:39:43,419
I've got no cooking, no cleaning...
517
00:39:43,662 --> 00:39:45,677
...and backrubs for a month.
518
00:39:45,961 --> 00:39:48,076
Technically,
you didn't lose your temper.
519
00:39:48,077 --> 00:39:51,321
But Xena, I saw you throwing pies
in a less-than-loving manner.
520
00:39:51,322 --> 00:39:52,735
Much less.
521
00:39:53,924 --> 00:39:55,124
Loving.
522
00:39:57,370 --> 00:39:58,980
Yep, loving. That's me.
523
00:40:10,945 --> 00:40:12,550
Who threw that pie?!
524
00:40:30,057 --> 00:40:35,156
Subtitles: Marlon Rocha Lacerda
www.joxer.com.br
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
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