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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,165 --> 00:00:28,202 * GOIN' DOWN TO CRIPPLE CREEK, GONNA HAVE FUN * 2 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:32,073 * GOIN' DOWN TO CRIPPLE CREEK TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN * 3 00:00:32,106 --> 00:00:35,710 * ROLL UP MY BRITCHES TO MY KNEES... * 4 00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,045 OH, HOWDY, BARNEY. 5 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,047 I SEE YOU GOT YOUR PAYCHECK THIS MONTH. 6 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,349 YEAH, I GOT IT. SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT? 7 00:00:41,382 --> 00:00:43,718 YES, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT. 8 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:46,154 WELL, WHAT? THIS CHECK'S MADE OUT TO BARNEY FIFE. 9 00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:48,056 IT OUGHTA BE MADE OUT TO BARNEY SUCKER. 10 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:51,092 WHAT? LOOK AT ALL THESE DEDUCTIONS, AND THIS TAX. 11 00:00:51,125 --> 00:00:53,061 THERE'S NOTHING LEFT, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES. 12 00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:55,363 BARNEY SUCKER, THAT'S WHO IT OUGHTA BE MADE OUT TO. 13 00:00:55,396 --> 00:00:57,398 OH, BARNEY. THAT'S ME, BARNEY SUCKER. 14 00:00:57,431 --> 00:00:59,300 IT'S OPEN SEASON ON BARNEY. 15 00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:01,903 COME ON, EVERYBODY, LET'S ALL TAKE A BITE OUT OF BARNEY FIFE. 16 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:03,337 NOW, COME ON. GOOD OLD BARNEY. 17 00:01:03,371 --> 00:01:05,273 HE MAKES IT, HE'S GOT IT, LET'S TAKE IT. 18 00:01:05,306 --> 00:01:07,208 NOW, BARNEY, WOULD YOU JUST SIMMER DOWN? 19 00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:09,443 NOW, THEY'RE ALL LEGITIMATE GOVERNMENT DEDUCTIONS. 20 00:01:09,477 --> 00:01:11,379 BESIDES, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY -- 21 00:01:11,412 --> 00:01:12,914 CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU. 22 00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:14,015 WITH ME? 23 00:01:14,048 --> 00:01:16,217 THEY KEEP NIBBLIN' AT ME LIKE THIS, 24 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,452 I'LL BE LUCKY IF I GET TO GO MYSELF. 25 00:01:18,486 --> 00:01:20,288 ONLY THING TO DO, I GUESS, 26 00:01:20,321 --> 00:01:22,824 IS INVEST MY MONEY IN SOME GOOD STOCK. 27 00:01:22,857 --> 00:01:25,293 YOU KNOW, SOMETHING THAT ZOOMS OVERNIGHT. 28 00:01:25,326 --> 00:01:26,427 HAPPENS, YOU KNOW. 29 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:28,029 OIL STOCKS AND URANIUM. 30 00:01:28,062 --> 00:01:30,865 YOU BETTER WATCH THIS INVESTIN' BUSINESS. 31 00:01:30,899 --> 00:01:32,433 WOODS ARE FULL OF CON MEN. 32 00:01:32,466 --> 00:01:35,236 YOU'D BE JUST RIPE FOR THE PLUCKIN', TOO. 33 00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:36,404 ME? HEH, HEH. 34 00:01:36,437 --> 00:01:38,973 NOT LIKELY, NOT OLD EAGLE-EYE BARNEY. 35 00:01:39,007 --> 00:01:41,442 NO. 36 00:01:41,475 --> 00:01:43,011 WELL, NOW, I TELL YOU, 37 00:01:43,044 --> 00:01:45,513 IF YOU'RE REALLY CONSIDERIN' INVESTIN', 38 00:01:45,546 --> 00:01:48,116 WHY DON'T YOU TRY COIN COLLECTIN'? 39 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,383 COIN COLLECTIN'? 40 00:01:49,417 --> 00:01:50,785 FOR INVESTING? 41 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,286 WELL, SURE. 42 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,255 IT'S A GOOD HOBBY, AND YOU CAN'T NEVER TELL, 43 00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:56,090 WHEN YOU'LL RUN ACROSS A RARE OLD COIN, 44 00:01:56,124 --> 00:01:57,859 MIGHT BRING YOU A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY. 45 00:01:57,892 --> 00:01:58,960 A COIN? 46 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,394 CUT IT OUT. 47 00:02:00,428 --> 00:02:02,030 WELL, SURE. 48 00:02:02,063 --> 00:02:04,799 LOOK HERE, LOOK RIGHT HERE. 49 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,100 HERE. YEAH. 50 00:02:07,869 --> 00:02:09,303 SEE THAT NICKEL RIGHT THERE? 51 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:10,504 YEAH. 52 00:02:10,538 --> 00:02:12,373 NOW, I PAID $10 FOR THAT NICKEL. 53 00:02:12,406 --> 00:02:14,876 A MONTH LATER, FELLOW OFFERED ME $50 FOR IT. 54 00:02:14,909 --> 00:02:17,311 WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME A BIT IF I WAS TO ADVERTISE 55 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,380 I'D GET, OH, A COUPLE HUNDRED DOLLARS. 56 00:02:19,413 --> 00:02:21,282 FOR A NICKEL? YEAH. 57 00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:22,583 HOW COME? 58 00:02:22,616 --> 00:02:24,919 WELL, THEY MADE A MISTAKE AT THE MINT. 59 00:02:24,953 --> 00:02:25,987 LOOK RIGHT HERE. 60 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,521 SEE THAT BUFFALO RIGHT THERE? 61 00:02:27,555 --> 00:02:28,522 YEAH. 62 00:02:28,556 --> 00:02:30,158 FACING THE WRONG WAY. 63 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,292 I'LL BE DARNED. 64 00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:33,394 FACING THE WRONG WAY, HUH? 65 00:02:33,427 --> 00:02:34,462 YEAH. 66 00:02:34,495 --> 00:02:37,165 HUH. AND THAT MAKES IT VALUABLE? 67 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:38,566 YUP. YEAH, I DON'T EXPECT 68 00:02:38,599 --> 00:02:40,334 THERE'S MORE THAN TWO OR THREE 69 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,435 IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY. 70 00:02:41,469 --> 00:02:42,536 NO FOOLIN'? 71 00:02:42,570 --> 00:02:44,472 AND IT KEEPS INCREASIN' IN VALUE? 72 00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:47,876 YEAH, THE FEWER THERE ARE ON THE MARKET... 73 00:02:47,909 --> 00:02:49,610 YOU SAY THERE'S ONLY TWO? 74 00:02:49,643 --> 00:02:52,146 OH, TWO OR THREE AT THE MOST. 75 00:02:52,180 --> 00:02:53,147 WELL... 76 00:02:53,181 --> 00:02:54,983 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 77 00:02:55,016 --> 00:02:57,318 UH, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO SELL IT, WOULD YOU? 78 00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:58,452 HMM? 79 00:02:58,486 --> 00:03:01,522 YOU KNOW OF SOMEBODY WANTS TO BUY IT? 80 00:03:01,555 --> 00:03:04,125 WELL, I MIGHT BUY IT. 81 00:03:04,158 --> 00:03:05,426 YOU MIGHT? 82 00:03:05,459 --> 00:03:06,560 HMM. 83 00:03:06,594 --> 00:03:10,598 I COULDN'T GIVE YOU NO $200, BUT... 84 00:03:10,631 --> 00:03:12,533 MIGHT GO $50. 85 00:03:14,435 --> 00:03:16,905 $75? 86 00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:21,042 $75'S A DEAL? 87 00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:24,145 WELL, ALL RIGHT. 88 00:03:25,613 --> 00:03:26,981 THANK YOU, ANDY. 89 00:03:27,015 --> 00:03:29,017 YEAH. HOW ABOUT THAT? 90 00:03:29,050 --> 00:03:32,020 LET ME JUST COMPARE THIS WITH A REGULAR NICKEL. 91 00:03:32,053 --> 00:03:33,321 LET ME SEE THERE. 92 00:03:33,354 --> 00:03:36,324 HEY, ANDY! 93 00:03:36,357 --> 00:03:39,227 THE BUFFALO ON THIS NICKEL'S FACIN' THE SAME WAY! 94 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,062 OH, LET ME SEE THAT. 95 00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:44,498 NOW, NOW, WHICH WAY'S THE BUFFALO FACING 96 00:03:44,532 --> 00:03:46,600 ON YOUR REGULAR NICKEL? 97 00:03:46,634 --> 00:03:49,670 THAT WAY. WELL, YOU SEE, THE BUFFALO ON THIS RARE NICKEL'S 98 00:03:49,703 --> 00:03:53,341 FACING THAT WAY. 99 00:03:53,374 --> 00:03:54,976 YEAH. SEE? 100 00:03:55,009 --> 00:03:55,977 SEE THERE? 101 00:03:56,010 --> 00:03:58,046 YEAH, YEAH. 102 00:03:58,079 --> 00:03:59,513 I'LL BE DARNED. 103 00:03:59,547 --> 00:04:01,182 YEAH. 104 00:04:01,215 --> 00:04:03,151 HEY, NOW MINE'S FACING THE SAME WAY! 105 00:04:03,184 --> 00:04:04,618 DARN YOU, ANDY! 106 00:04:04,652 --> 00:04:07,355 WELL, BARNEY, I WAS JUST TRYING TO SHOW YOU 107 00:04:07,388 --> 00:04:09,657 HOW EASY IT'D BE FOR YOU TO GET TAKEN. 108 00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:12,626 I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOING TO GET TAKEN BY MY OWN FRIEND, 109 00:04:12,660 --> 00:04:13,962 FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES. 110 00:04:13,995 --> 00:04:15,163 I'M SORRY, LET'S JUST FORGET IT. 111 00:04:15,196 --> 00:04:16,297 [ DOOR OPENS ] 112 00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:17,598 HI, ANDY, HI, BARNEY. 113 00:04:17,631 --> 00:04:18,933 Andy: OH, HI, ELLIE. 114 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,701 THIS IS MR. MAXWELL FROM NEW YORK. 115 00:04:20,734 --> 00:04:23,337 MR. MAXWELL, THIS IS OUR SHERIFF, ANDY TAYLOR, 116 00:04:23,371 --> 00:04:25,106 AND HIS DEPUTY, BARNEY FIFE. 117 00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:26,307 OH, HOW DO YOU DO, SIR? 118 00:04:26,340 --> 00:04:27,308 HOW ARE YOU? 119 00:04:27,341 --> 00:04:28,542 HOWDY. HELLO, DEPUTY. 120 00:04:28,576 --> 00:04:30,078 YOU'RE A SALESMAN, ARE YOU? 121 00:04:30,111 --> 00:04:31,712 OH, NO, NO, THIS ISN'T A SAMPLE CASE. 122 00:04:31,745 --> 00:04:33,414 THIS IS A PORTABLE TAPE RECORDER. 123 00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:35,416 MR. MAXWELL MAKES RECORDINGS OF FOLK SONGS 124 00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:36,417 ALL OVER THE WORLD. 125 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,952 HE MIGHT WANT TO DO AN ALBUM 126 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,553 WITH SOME OF THE PEOPLE AROUND HERE. 127 00:04:39,587 --> 00:04:42,256 OH, WELL, I 'SPECT THAT'D TICKLE EVERYBODY, 128 00:04:42,290 --> 00:04:43,691 DON'T YOU, BARNEY? 129 00:04:43,724 --> 00:04:45,726 AS A MATTER OF FACT, I STOPPED IN THE DRUGSTORE 130 00:04:45,759 --> 00:04:47,628 TO GET A BITE TO EAT, AND I GOT TO TALKING 131 00:04:47,661 --> 00:04:49,530 TO MISS WALKER, AND SHE SAID THAT POSSIBLY 132 00:04:49,563 --> 00:04:51,966 YOU COULD STEER ME TO SOME OF THE TALENT AROUND HERE. 133 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,401 OH, I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED. 134 00:04:53,434 --> 00:04:55,336 SAY, THIS THE FIRST TIME I EVER SEEN 135 00:04:55,369 --> 00:04:56,737 ONE OF THESE DOOHICKEYS IN THE FLESH. 136 00:04:56,770 --> 00:04:58,106 HOW THEY WORK? 137 00:04:58,139 --> 00:05:00,308 WELL, LET ME GIVE YOU A DEMONSTRATION. 138 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:02,710 SHERIFF, HAVE YOU GOT AN OUTLET AROUND HERE? 139 00:05:02,743 --> 00:05:05,146 YEAH, GOOD PLACE, RIGHT OVER HERE. 140 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:07,081 WELL, HERE'S THE MICROPHONE. 141 00:05:07,115 --> 00:05:09,250 ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS PLUG IT IN. 142 00:05:09,283 --> 00:05:10,551 A MIKE AND EVERYTHING. 143 00:05:10,584 --> 00:05:12,053 TURN IT ON. 144 00:05:12,086 --> 00:05:14,655 NOW, HERE, DEPUTY, YOU HOLD THAT IN YOUR HAND. 145 00:05:14,688 --> 00:05:15,689 NOW... 146 00:05:15,723 --> 00:05:17,158 [ MACHINE STARTS UP ] 147 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:19,160 NOW, GO AHEAD, SAY SOMETHING 148 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,528 RIGHT INTO THE MIKE. 149 00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:22,763 GO AHEAD, BARNEY, SAY SOMETHING. 150 00:05:22,796 --> 00:05:24,198 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 151 00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:26,000 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 152 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,668 [ COUGHING ] 153 00:05:27,701 --> 00:05:31,439 [Woodenly] UH, T-TESTING, ONE, TWO, HELLO? 154 00:05:33,707 --> 00:05:35,476 SAY SOMETHING OFFICIAL, SOMETHING YOU SAY 155 00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:36,744 EVERY DAY AS A DEPUTY SHERIFF. 156 00:05:36,777 --> 00:05:39,080 OH, OH, YEAH, THAT, OF COURSE. 157 00:05:39,113 --> 00:05:40,281 UH... [ CLEARS THROAT ] 158 00:05:40,314 --> 00:05:42,650 UH, MAYBERRY UNIT NUMBER ONE, 159 00:05:42,683 --> 00:05:44,118 UH... [ CLEARS THROAT ] 160 00:05:44,152 --> 00:05:45,686 UH, TO ALL UNITS. 161 00:05:45,719 --> 00:05:47,755 UH, ROGER AND OVER. 162 00:05:47,788 --> 00:05:50,424 OVER AND, UH, AND, OVER AND UNDER. 163 00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:53,294 FOUR-TEN, TEN-FOU... 164 00:05:53,327 --> 00:05:55,029 UH, BYE. 165 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,330 WELL, THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH. 166 00:05:56,364 --> 00:05:57,798 WELL, THAT THING SURE TAKES 167 00:05:57,831 --> 00:05:59,633 THE GUMPTION OUT OF YOU, THOUGH. 168 00:05:59,667 --> 00:06:02,570 NOW, LET'S SEE HOW YOU SOUND. 169 00:06:02,603 --> 00:06:04,738 [ REWINDING ] 170 00:06:04,772 --> 00:06:06,107 THAT'S ME? 171 00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:08,309 NO, THAT'S THE REWINDING OF THE TAPE. 172 00:06:08,342 --> 00:06:10,111 BEST NOT TO PLAY IT TOO LOUD. 173 00:06:10,144 --> 00:06:12,480 YOU'LL ROUND UP EVERY HOG IN THE COUNTY. 174 00:06:12,513 --> 00:06:14,515 LET'S PRESS THIS BUTTON HERE 175 00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:16,684 AND LISTEN TO BARNEY'S REMARKS. 176 00:06:16,717 --> 00:06:19,320 ALL UNITS, UH, ROGER AND... 177 00:06:19,353 --> 00:06:22,656 AND OVER, OVER AND, UH, OVER AND UNDER. 178 00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:23,791 UH... 179 00:06:23,824 --> 00:06:26,294 WELL, DEPUTY, YOU JUST GOT A CASE 180 00:06:26,327 --> 00:06:27,361 OF MIKE FRIGHT. 181 00:06:27,395 --> 00:06:29,063 IT HAPPENS TO A LOT OF PEOPLE. 182 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,598 WELL, I AIN'T MUCH OF A TALKER. 183 00:06:30,631 --> 00:06:33,334 IN MY BUSINESS, THIS BABY DOES MY TALKIN' FOR ME. 184 00:06:33,367 --> 00:06:35,069 WHY DON'T YOU SING A SONG FOR MR. MAXWELL 185 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,437 AND HEAR HOW IT COMES OUT ON TAPE? 186 00:06:36,470 --> 00:06:38,839 OH, NO, I'M LIABLE TO COME OUT 187 00:06:38,872 --> 00:06:40,574 ALL "UHS" LIKE BARNEY. 188 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,176 YOU MIGHT AS WELL, SHERIFF, 189 00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:44,345 BECAUSE IF I MAKE AN ALBUM AND IT SELLS, 190 00:06:44,378 --> 00:06:45,746 ANYBODY WHO RECORDS FOR ME 191 00:06:45,779 --> 00:06:47,848 WILL GET THE STANDARD PERCENTAGE FEE. 192 00:06:47,881 --> 00:06:49,417 YEAH? 193 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:52,486 UH, MR. MAXWELL, I DON'T RECKON YOU'D BE INTERESTED 194 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:53,821 IN A SMALL LOCAL BAND, 195 00:06:53,854 --> 00:06:56,224 BUNCH OF YOUNG FELLAS AND MYSELF, 196 00:06:56,257 --> 00:06:57,725 GOT A BANJER AND GUITARS 197 00:06:57,758 --> 00:06:59,427 AND MANDOLINS SUCH AS THAT IN IT? 198 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,762 OH, IT SOUNDS GREAT. OH, WELL, GOOD, GOOD. 199 00:07:01,795 --> 00:07:04,532 I'LL JUST GET ON THE PHONE AND CALL THE BOYS UP, 200 00:07:04,565 --> 00:07:07,401 AND WE'LL MEET YOU OVER HERE AT FLOYD'S BARBERSHOP. 201 00:07:07,435 --> 00:07:10,638 BARBERSHOP? YEAH, WE PLAY IN THERE FOR FLOYD A WHOLE LOT. 202 00:07:10,671 --> 00:07:11,672 HE'S THE BARBER. 203 00:07:11,705 --> 00:07:13,874 WE CALL IT "MUSIC TO SNIP BY." 204 00:07:13,907 --> 00:07:15,443 HEY, UH, MR. MAXWELL, 205 00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:18,346 I -- I THINK I'M OVER MY MIKE FRIGHT NOW. 206 00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:20,714 YOU GOT ENOUGH TAPE LEFT THERE FOR 207 00:07:20,748 --> 00:07:24,385 A LITTLE "QUE SERA, SERA, WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE?" 208 00:07:25,853 --> 00:07:29,457 TURN IT ON. 209 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,592 I'M READY ANY TIME YOU ARE, SHERIFF. 210 00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:34,462 OKAY, NOW, I'VE BEEN A-BRAGGIN' ON US A WHOLE LOT, 211 00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:37,465 SO LET'S DO IT GOOD FOR MR. MAXWELL, ALL RIGHT? 212 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:42,836 [ PLAYING BLUEGRASS MUSIC ] 213 00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:54,648 * USED TO HAVE A OLD BANJO 214 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,484 * IT WAS ALL STRUNG UP WITH TWINE * 215 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:58,686 * AND THE ONLY SONG YOU COULD HEAR ME SING * 216 00:07:58,719 --> 00:08:00,521 * WAS "I WISH THAT GAL WAS MINE" * 217 00:08:00,554 --> 00:08:02,690 * WHOA, MULE, YOU KICKIN' MULE 218 00:08:02,723 --> 00:08:04,458 * WHOA, MULE, I SAY 219 00:08:04,492 --> 00:08:07,395 * I AIN'T GOT TIME TO KISS YOU NOW, MY MULE'S RUN AWAY * 220 00:08:15,769 --> 00:08:17,405 * TOOK MY WIFE TO THE BARNYARD 221 00:08:17,438 --> 00:08:18,906 * AND I SET HER DOWN TO SUPPER 222 00:08:18,939 --> 00:08:20,608 * SHE GOT CHOKED ON A TURKEY LEG * 223 00:08:20,641 --> 00:08:22,543 * AND STUCK HER NOSE IN THE BUTTER * 224 00:08:22,576 --> 00:08:24,945 * WHOA, MULE, YOU KICKIN' MULE 225 00:08:24,978 --> 00:08:26,714 * WHOA, MULE, I SAY 226 00:08:26,747 --> 00:08:30,351 * I AIN'T GOT TIME TO KISS YOU NOW, MY MULE'S RUN AWAY * 227 00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:48,836 * FACE IS LIKE A COFFEE POT, YOUR NOSE IS LIKE A SPOUT * 228 00:08:48,869 --> 00:08:52,406 * YOUR MOUTH IS LIKE A FIREPLACE WITH ALL THE ASHES OUT * 229 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,708 * WHOA, MULE, YOU KICKIN' MULE 230 00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:56,477 * WHOA, MULE, I SAY 231 00:08:56,510 --> 00:09:00,814 * I AIN'T GOT TIME TO KISS YOU NOW, MY MULE'S RUN AWAY * 232 00:09:00,848 --> 00:09:02,383 * WHOA, MULE, YOU KICKIN' MULE 233 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:03,951 * WHOA, MULE, I SAY 234 00:09:03,984 --> 00:09:07,488 * I AIN'T GOT TIME TO KISS YOU NOW, MY MULE'S RUN AWAY * 235 00:09:15,363 --> 00:09:17,565 * WHOA, MULE, YOU KICKIN' MULE 236 00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:19,400 * WHOA, MULE, I SAY 237 00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:22,770 * I AIN'T GOT TIME TO KISS YOU NOW, MY MULE'S RUN AWAY... * 238 00:09:22,803 --> 00:09:28,776 [ NEXT SONG PLAYING ] 239 00:09:28,809 --> 00:09:31,645 * WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE WELL RUNS DRY, HONEY? * 240 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:34,448 * WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE WELL RUNS DRY, BABE? * 241 00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:36,784 * WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE WELL RUNS DRY? * 242 00:09:36,817 --> 00:09:38,786 * SET ON THE BANK, CRY, CRY, CRY * 243 00:09:38,819 --> 00:09:42,756 * HONEY, BABY MINE 244 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,392 OH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS EXTRA GOOD. 245 00:09:44,425 --> 00:09:46,360 OH, ANDY, YOU AND THE BOYS SOUNDED WONDERFUL. 246 00:09:46,394 --> 00:09:47,561 DIDN'T THEY, MR. MAXWELL? 247 00:09:47,595 --> 00:09:49,497 IF THE REST OF THE FOLKS AROUND HERE 248 00:09:49,530 --> 00:09:51,665 SOUND AS GOOD AS YOU, I'VE GOT IT MADE. 249 00:09:51,699 --> 00:09:53,767 SAY, MR. MAXWELL, ANY TIME YOU'RE READY 250 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,337 FOR A LITTLE "QUE SERA, SERA," JUST SPEAK UP. 251 00:09:56,370 --> 00:09:57,905 OH, YES, DEPUTY, THANKS, I WILL. 252 00:09:57,938 --> 00:09:59,907 WELL, I GOT A LITTLE SHERIFFIN' TO DO. 253 00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:01,642 I'LL GET ON BACK TO THE OFFICE. 254 00:10:01,675 --> 00:10:04,044 NOW, YOU CALL ON THE OTHER FOLKS I TOLD YOU ABOUT. 255 00:10:04,077 --> 00:10:05,279 THANK YOU, SHERIFF. 256 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,647 AND THANK YOU, MISS WALKER. 257 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:07,648 YOU'RE SO WELCOME. 258 00:10:07,681 --> 00:10:08,682 BYE-BYE, BOYS. 259 00:10:08,716 --> 00:10:09,750 WE'LL SEE YOU. 260 00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:10,884 Man: THANK YOU, MR. MAXWELL. 261 00:10:10,918 --> 00:10:12,786 Floyd: VERY NICE, BOYS, VERY GOOD. 262 00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:13,987 NEVER BETTER. 263 00:10:14,021 --> 00:10:16,023 WELL, THAT'S QUITE A COOPERATIVE SHERIFF 264 00:10:16,056 --> 00:10:17,057 YOU'VE GOT THERE. 265 00:10:17,090 --> 00:10:18,326 YEAH, HE IS. 266 00:10:18,359 --> 00:10:19,993 SAY, UH, TELL ME, MR. MAXWELL, 267 00:10:20,027 --> 00:10:22,963 THIS FOLK MUSIC ALBUM YOU'RE PUTTING TOGETHER -- 268 00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:25,799 IS IT REALLY WORTH ALL THE FUSS AND BOTHER? 269 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,335 WELL, I THINK IT IS. 270 00:10:27,368 --> 00:10:30,338 AFTER EXPENSES, I HOPE TO MAKE 25 CENTS AN ALBUM. 271 00:10:30,371 --> 00:10:31,372 25 CENTS? 272 00:10:31,405 --> 00:10:33,374 SOUND LIKE CHICKEN FEED TO ME. 273 00:10:33,407 --> 00:10:35,343 WELL, IT'S HARDLY CHICKEN FEED. 274 00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:38,011 DO YOU KNOW THAT IF AN ALBUM LIKE THIS GOES OVER, 275 00:10:38,045 --> 00:10:39,913 IT CAN SELL OVER 100,000 COPIES? 276 00:10:39,947 --> 00:10:41,949 THAT'S $25,000 PROFIT RIGHT THERE. 277 00:10:41,982 --> 00:10:43,884 OH, THIS HAS GOOD POSSIBILITIES. 278 00:10:43,917 --> 00:10:45,619 $25,000? 279 00:10:45,653 --> 00:10:47,621 WELL, SUPPOSE IT SOLD MORE THAN THAT? 280 00:10:47,655 --> 00:10:49,523 SUPPOSE IT SOLD A MILLION COPIES! 281 00:10:49,557 --> 00:10:51,892 YEAH, A MILLION... WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, WHAT'S IT? 282 00:10:51,925 --> 00:10:53,394 25 CENTS, A HUNDRED THOU... 283 00:10:53,427 --> 00:10:55,629 WELL, THAT'S A QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS. 284 00:10:55,663 --> 00:10:58,399 YOU'RE MAKING ALL THAT MONEY OFF OUR FOLK SONGS? 285 00:10:58,432 --> 00:10:59,700 WHAT DO WE GET OUT OF IT? 286 00:10:59,733 --> 00:11:01,034 WELL, THE PERFORMERS GET 287 00:11:01,068 --> 00:11:02,703 THE STANDARD RATE OF ROYALTY, 288 00:11:02,736 --> 00:11:03,771 THREE CENTS A RECORD. 289 00:11:03,804 --> 00:11:05,473 WHAT ABOUT US THAT CAN'T SING 290 00:11:05,506 --> 00:11:07,107 OR PLAY AN INSTRUMENT OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT? 291 00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:09,943 FOLK SONGS BELONG TO US JUST THE SAME AS THE OTHERS, 292 00:11:09,977 --> 00:11:12,613 AND SEEMS LIKE WE OUGHTA KINDA SHARE IN THE PROFITS. 293 00:11:12,646 --> 00:11:13,747 ISN'T THAT RIGHT, BOYS? 294 00:11:13,781 --> 00:11:15,383 WELL, YEAH, IT'S ONLY FAIR. 295 00:11:15,416 --> 00:11:16,617 NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. 296 00:11:16,650 --> 00:11:18,886 I'M INVESTING MY OWN MONEY IN THIS VENTURE. 297 00:11:18,919 --> 00:11:20,921 WELL, THEN, LET US INVEST SOME MONEY. 298 00:11:20,954 --> 00:11:23,557 YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO BUY STOCK IN THE ENTERPRISE? 299 00:11:23,591 --> 00:11:25,125 All: YEAH, YEAH. 300 00:11:25,158 --> 00:11:27,428 OH, NO, I WOULDN'T WANT YOU FOLKS TO RISK YOUR MONEY. 301 00:11:27,461 --> 00:11:29,797 BESIDES, I HADN'T PLANNED ON ISSUING ANY STOCK. 302 00:11:29,830 --> 00:11:31,465 WELL, PLAN ON IT! YOU CAN'T HOG 303 00:11:31,499 --> 00:11:33,434 A WHOLE MILLION DOLLARS JUST TO YOURSELF. 304 00:11:33,467 --> 00:11:35,135 YEAH, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A GOOD INVESTMENT. 305 00:11:35,168 --> 00:11:37,871 ME, TOO! SO HAVE I! 306 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,473 GENTLEMEN, ARE YOU SURE? 307 00:11:39,507 --> 00:11:41,575 All: YEAH! 308 00:11:41,609 --> 00:11:43,877 [ ALL TALKING AT ONCE ] 309 00:11:55,723 --> 00:11:57,925 MARKET WAS A LITTLE BULLISH YESTERDAY. 310 00:11:57,958 --> 00:11:59,126 INDUSTRIALS UP, 311 00:11:59,159 --> 00:12:02,162 UTILITIES MOVED AHEAD IN QUIET TRADING. 312 00:12:02,195 --> 00:12:04,965 CHEMICALS HELD FIRM. 313 00:12:04,998 --> 00:12:06,066 MM-HMM. 314 00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:07,901 WHATCHA READIN', BARNEY? 315 00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:08,902 THE STOCK MARKET. 316 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,638 NOW I BOUGHT INTO ONE STOCK, 317 00:12:10,671 --> 00:12:12,606 I MIGHT AS WELL BUY INTO ANOTHER. 318 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,174 WHAT? 319 00:12:14,207 --> 00:12:17,878 WELL, THE FINANCIAL PAGE CALLS THAT "DIVERSIFYIN'". 320 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,481 SO, BARNEY FIFE'S GONNA DIVERSIFY. 321 00:12:20,514 --> 00:12:22,015 I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'D KNOW 322 00:12:22,049 --> 00:12:24,084 A WHOLE LOT ABOUT THAT, WOULD YA? 323 00:12:24,117 --> 00:12:25,719 WANT ME TO EXPLAIN IT TO YA? 324 00:12:25,753 --> 00:12:26,954 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 325 00:12:26,987 --> 00:12:28,989 SEE, WHEN YOU DIVERSIFY, WHY, YOU... 326 00:12:29,022 --> 00:12:30,824 BARNEY, MAYBE YOU BETTER EXPLAIN 327 00:12:30,858 --> 00:12:32,092 SOMETHING ELSE FIRST. 328 00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:34,127 DID I HEAR YOU SAY YOU BOUGHT SOME STOCK? 329 00:12:34,161 --> 00:12:35,162 THAT'S RIGHT. 330 00:12:35,195 --> 00:12:36,664 YOU THINKIN' OF COMIN' IN? 331 00:12:36,697 --> 00:12:37,831 IF YOU AIN'T A PLUNGER, 332 00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:39,567 YOU BETTER STAY OUT OF IT, BOY. 333 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:40,601 YOU'LL GET KILLED. 334 00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:42,436 WH-WHAT WAS IT YOU INVESTED IN? 335 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,838 IT WASN'T COIN COLLECTIN', I'LL TELL YA THAT. 336 00:12:44,872 --> 00:12:46,540 ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHAT WAS IT? 337 00:12:46,574 --> 00:12:48,542 I SUNK IT IN THE RECORD BUSINESS. 338 00:12:48,576 --> 00:12:50,744 YOU SUNK IT IN THE RECORD BUSINESS? 339 00:12:50,778 --> 00:12:53,581 MM-HMM. HOW MUCH DID YOU SINK? 340 00:12:53,614 --> 00:12:55,215 40 BUCKS. 341 00:12:55,248 --> 00:12:57,685 IT OUGHT TO TURN OVER A PROFIT RIGHT QUICK. 342 00:12:57,718 --> 00:12:58,986 AND WHEN IT DOES, I DIVERSIFY. 343 00:12:59,019 --> 00:13:00,187 NOW, WHEN YOU DIVERSIFY -- 344 00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:01,221 BARNEY, BARNEY... 345 00:13:01,254 --> 00:13:03,156 WHERE'D YOU BUY THIS STOCK? 346 00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:06,927 I BOUGHT INTO MR. MAXWELL'S FOLK SONG ALBUM. 347 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,664 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT MR. MAXWELL WAS SELLIN' ANY STOCK. 348 00:13:10,698 --> 00:13:13,000 WELL, HE WASN'T GOING TO, BUT ME AND THE BOYS 349 00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:15,202 OVER AT THE BARBERSHOP TALKED HIM INTO IT. 350 00:13:15,235 --> 00:13:16,670 YOU TALKED HIM INTO IT? 351 00:13:16,704 --> 00:13:17,971 YEAH. 352 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:20,508 SEE, WHEN MAXWELL ADMITTED THAT HE COULD MAKE 353 00:13:20,541 --> 00:13:22,710 AS MUCH AS A MILLION DOLLARS ON THE ALBUM, 354 00:13:22,743 --> 00:13:25,546 ME AND THE BOYS, WE SHAMED HIM INTO LETTIN' US BUY IN. 355 00:13:25,579 --> 00:13:26,647 [ CHUCKLING ] 356 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,749 TRIED TO TALK HIS WAY OUT OF IT, 357 00:13:28,782 --> 00:13:31,585 BUT WE CORNERED HIM GOOD. 358 00:13:31,619 --> 00:13:33,220 BARNEY, YOU KNOW YOU JUST FELL 359 00:13:33,253 --> 00:13:37,658 FOR THE OLDEST SLICKER GAME IN THE WORLD, DON'T YA? 360 00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:40,794 YOU DON'T SEE IT, DO YA? 361 00:13:40,828 --> 00:13:44,498 WELL, IT'S LIKE THEY SAY. 362 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,934 STOCK MARKET'S WHERE YOU SEPARATE THE MEN FROM THE BOYS. 363 00:13:46,967 --> 00:13:48,702 I'LL SEE YA, BOY. 364 00:13:48,736 --> 00:13:51,805 LET ME KNOW NEXT TIME YOU COME ACROSS ONE OF THEM RARE NICKELS 365 00:13:51,839 --> 00:13:55,976 WITH THE BUFFALO FACIN' THE WRONG WAY. 366 00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:58,512 I SHOULD HAVE SOLD HIM THAT NICKEL. 367 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,615 THEN AT LEAST HE'D OWN SOMETHIN' WORTH A NICKEL. 368 00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:06,286 I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG 369 00:14:06,319 --> 00:14:07,821 WITH PEOPLE INVESTING IN HIS ALBUM. 370 00:14:07,855 --> 00:14:09,590 IF HE SELLS IT TO A BIG RECORD COMPANY, 371 00:14:09,623 --> 00:14:10,924 WE ALL STAND TO MAKE A PROFIT. 372 00:14:10,958 --> 00:14:13,561 WE ALL STAND? 373 00:14:13,594 --> 00:14:15,629 ELLIE, YOU -- YOU DIDN'T... 374 00:14:15,663 --> 00:14:17,931 WELL, YES, I DID! 375 00:14:17,965 --> 00:14:19,900 OH, COME ON, NOW. 376 00:14:19,933 --> 00:14:23,804 DON'T TELL ME YOU FELL FOR THAT CON GAME OF HIS TOO. 377 00:14:23,837 --> 00:14:26,640 ARE YOU IMPLYING MR. MAXWELL IS DISHONEST? 378 00:14:26,674 --> 00:14:28,075 I'M NOT IMPLYING ANYTHING. 379 00:14:28,108 --> 00:14:30,744 I JUST SAY, WHEN YOU SEE A WEASEL'S TRACKS, 380 00:14:30,778 --> 00:14:31,845 LOCK UP YOUR HENS. 381 00:14:31,879 --> 00:14:33,647 MR. MAXWELL IS NO WEASEL! 382 00:14:33,681 --> 00:14:37,217 HE SOUNDED PERFECTLY SINCERE TO ME WHEN HE FIRST WALKED IN HERE, 383 00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:39,553 AND I STILL HAPPEN TO BELIEVE HIM. 384 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:42,322 YOU MAKE IT SOUND AS IF I'M STUPID AND GULLIBLE. 385 00:14:42,355 --> 00:14:45,192 OH, NO, NOW, ELLIE, AIN'T NO REASON FOR YOU 386 00:14:45,225 --> 00:14:47,027 TO GET YOUR PIN FEATHERS RUFFLED. 387 00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:53,967 DON'T I -- DON'T I GET A LITTLE WHIPPED CREAM? 388 00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:56,904 OH, GOODY. 389 00:14:59,206 --> 00:15:01,709 NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, TAKE IT EASY. 390 00:15:01,742 --> 00:15:03,844 I JUST WANT TO EAT IT, I DON'T WANT TO CLIMB IT. 391 00:15:03,877 --> 00:15:05,779 YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, ANDY, 392 00:15:05,813 --> 00:15:08,248 STARTING SUSPICIOUS RUMORS ABOUT MR. MAXWELL. 393 00:15:08,281 --> 00:15:09,850 WELL, I'M JUST DOING MY JOB, 394 00:15:09,883 --> 00:15:11,985 PROTECTING THE FOLKS HERE IN MAYBERRY. 395 00:15:12,019 --> 00:15:14,054 THAT'S MY DUTY AS SHERIFF, YOU KNOW. 396 00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:16,590 YOU WOULDN'T BE A LITTLE BIT JEALOUS OF HIM, WOULD YOU? 397 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:20,728 JEALOUS! WELL, WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS? 398 00:15:20,761 --> 00:15:22,963 HI, PAW! HI, MISS ELLIE! 399 00:15:22,996 --> 00:15:24,197 OH, HI, OPE. HI, HONEY. 400 00:15:24,231 --> 00:15:26,634 ELLIE -- LOOKS GOOD, PAW. 401 00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:28,368 WELL, FINE, HOP UP AND HAVE SOME. 402 00:15:28,401 --> 00:15:31,371 NOW, LOOK, ELLIE, I DIDN'T COME IN HERE TO START A FIGHT. 403 00:15:31,404 --> 00:15:33,774 I SUPPOSE YOU THINK I'M IN CAHOOTS WITH MR. MAXWELL. 404 00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:34,975 IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK? 405 00:15:35,008 --> 00:15:36,276 I DON'T THINK ANY SUCH THING! 406 00:15:36,309 --> 00:15:38,111 WHAT ARE YOU TWO SPATTING ABOUT? 407 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,647 NOTHING, EAT YOUR SUNDAE. 408 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:41,815 TELL HIM, ANDY, TELL HIM HOW SUSPICIOUS YOU ARE, 409 00:15:41,849 --> 00:15:42,983 HOW YOU DON'T TRUST ANYBODY. 410 00:15:43,016 --> 00:15:44,117 I TRUST PEOPLE. 411 00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:45,619 SHE JUST WON'T LISTEN TO REASON. 412 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,087 I'LL LISTEN TO REASON, BUT YOUR FATHER 413 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,388 CAN'T GIVE ME A SINGLE GOOD ONE. 414 00:15:48,421 --> 00:15:49,890 OF COURSE I CAN, I'M JUST TRYING TO 415 00:15:49,923 --> 00:15:51,625 TELL HER TO BE CAREFUL OF A STRANGER. 416 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,761 THE STRANGER HAPPENS TO BE A PERFECTLY TRUSTWORTHY MAN. 417 00:15:53,794 --> 00:15:56,163 BUT SHE DON'T KNOW THAT. I HAVE NO REASON TO MISTRUST HIM. 418 00:15:56,196 --> 00:15:57,798 SHE'S GOT NO REASON TO TRUST HIM. 419 00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,767 I HAPPEN TO KNOW AN HONEST FACE WHEN I SEE ONE. 420 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:00,768 HOW'D YOU GET INTO THIS? 421 00:16:00,801 --> 00:16:02,135 I DON'T KNOW, 422 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:04,604 I JUST CAME IN TO HAVE SOME OF YOUR SUNDAE. 423 00:16:10,711 --> 00:16:12,846 [ PLAYING BLUEGRASS MUSIC ] 424 00:17:02,262 --> 00:17:03,931 [ MUSIC ENDS ] [ CLICK ] 425 00:17:03,964 --> 00:17:06,700 OH, THAT WAS WONDERFUL, BOYS, JUST WONDERFUL. 426 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,069 THEY'RE GREAT, SHERIFF. I'M GLAD YOU LIKE 'EM. 427 00:17:09,102 --> 00:17:11,304 IT'S JUST THE KIND OF MUSIC I WAS LOOKING FOR, 428 00:17:11,338 --> 00:17:13,306 AUTHENTIC, AND I'VE GOT YOU TO THANK FOR IT, SHERIFF. 429 00:17:13,340 --> 00:17:14,441 UH, YEAH. 430 00:17:14,474 --> 00:17:15,442 WE APPRECIATE YOU LETTIN' US 431 00:17:15,475 --> 00:17:17,177 PLAY FOR YOU, MR. MAXWELL. 432 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:19,813 WELL, THANK YOU. WE SURE APPRECIATE YOU LETTING US 433 00:17:19,847 --> 00:17:21,815 BUY STOCK IN YOUR RECORDING COMPANY, TOO. 434 00:17:21,849 --> 00:17:24,051 WELL, LET'S HOPE IT WORKS OUT WELL FOR ALL OF US. 435 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,385 WELL, THANKS AGAIN, BOYS. 436 00:17:25,418 --> 00:17:27,154 THAT'LL BE ALL FOR TONIGHT. 437 00:17:27,187 --> 00:17:28,255 Andy: SEE YA, BOYS. 438 00:17:28,288 --> 00:17:29,923 NIGHT, ANDY. NIGHT, NOW. 439 00:17:29,957 --> 00:17:31,324 YOU, UH, FIGURE THESE TAPES 440 00:17:31,358 --> 00:17:33,360 GONNA REALLY AMOUNT TO SOMETHIN', DO YA? 441 00:17:33,393 --> 00:17:35,195 WELL, I CERTAINLY HOPE SO. 442 00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,765 RIGHT NOW THE MARKET FOR FOLK MUSIC IS AT ITS HEIGHT, 443 00:17:37,798 --> 00:17:39,767 AND I HAVE HIGH HOPES THAT THIS PROJECT 444 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,401 IS REALLY GOING TO TAKE ME PLACES. 445 00:17:41,434 --> 00:17:43,403 OH. SAY, SHERIFF, 446 00:17:43,436 --> 00:17:45,072 ALMOST EVERYONE AROUND HERE 447 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,874 HAS INSISTED ON BECOMING A PARTNER. 448 00:17:46,907 --> 00:17:48,241 DON'T YOU WANT TO COME IN, TOO? 449 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,810 OH, NO, NO, NO. 450 00:17:49,843 --> 00:17:53,046 I GUESS I'M JUST NOT A PLUNGER. 451 00:17:57,885 --> 00:17:59,953 I WAS PUSHIN' HIM PRETTY HARD LAST NIGHT 452 00:17:59,987 --> 00:18:02,322 WHEN I GOT HIM TO ADMIT THAT HE'S GONNA ROUND UP 453 00:18:02,355 --> 00:18:05,258 EVERYTHIN' HE CAN GET HERE, AND THEN IT'S BYE-BYE, MAYBERRY 454 00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:06,927 AND BYE-BYE YOUR MONEY, TOO. 455 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,896 OH, THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE, ANDY. 456 00:18:08,929 --> 00:18:11,832 WHY SHOULD HE LET ON TO YOU, THE SHERIFF, THAT HE WAS 457 00:18:11,865 --> 00:18:13,967 INTENDIN' TO SKIP TOWN WITH OUR MONEY, HUH, WHY? 458 00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:15,368 YEAH, WHY? WHY? 459 00:18:15,402 --> 00:18:17,537 HE-HE-HE DIDN'T EXACTLY LET ON TO ANYTHING. 460 00:18:17,570 --> 00:18:20,140 IT'S JUST I CAN SEE THROUGH ALL THAT FAKE HONESTY. 461 00:18:20,173 --> 00:18:22,075 HE EVEN TRIED TO SELL ME SOME STOCK, 462 00:18:22,109 --> 00:18:23,510 BUT I TURNED HIM DOWN FLAT. 463 00:18:23,543 --> 00:18:25,378 WELL, IF YOU'RE THAT SUSPICIOUS OF THIS FELLA, 464 00:18:25,412 --> 00:18:26,980 WHY DON'T WE JUST CALL HIM 465 00:18:27,014 --> 00:18:28,515 AND HAVE OURSELVES A LITTLE TALK WITH HIM? 466 00:18:28,548 --> 00:18:29,983 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, FLOYD. 467 00:18:30,017 --> 00:18:32,986 EXCUSE ME. 468 00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:35,488 HELLO, SARAH? THIS IS OFFICIAL. 469 00:18:35,522 --> 00:18:37,958 GET ME THE HOTEL RIGHT AWAY. 470 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,794 [Quietly] BARNEY FIFE. 471 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,562 WE'LL SEE JUST HOW MUCH GROUNDS YOU HAVE 472 00:18:42,595 --> 00:18:43,931 FOR SUSPECTIN' HIM, ANDY. 473 00:18:43,964 --> 00:18:45,265 IF YOU ASK ME, WITH YOU, 474 00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:47,167 I THINK IT'S JUST A CASE OF SOUR GRAPES. 475 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,568 YEAH, HE-HELLO, JASON? 476 00:18:48,601 --> 00:18:51,304 RING ME MR. MAXWELL'S ROOM RIGHT AWAY. 477 00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:54,441 [Quietly] BARNEY FIFE. 478 00:18:54,474 --> 00:18:56,977 JUST PLAIN SOUR GRAPES, THAT'S ALL IT IS. 479 00:18:57,010 --> 00:19:00,013 WE'RE ALL IN THIS THING BUT YOU AIN'T, SO YOU JUST -- 480 00:19:00,047 --> 00:19:02,549 HEL-- WHAT? WHA-- 481 00:19:02,582 --> 00:19:06,486 WHAT'D YOU SAY, JASON? 482 00:19:06,519 --> 00:19:09,222 OH. 483 00:19:09,256 --> 00:19:12,392 WHAT IS IT, BARNEY? 484 00:19:12,425 --> 00:19:14,561 MR. MAXWELL CHECKED OUT THIS MORNING. 485 00:19:14,594 --> 00:19:16,396 [GASPS] HE SKIPPED! 486 00:19:16,429 --> 00:19:17,397 WHAT? 487 00:19:17,430 --> 00:19:19,266 Man: WE BEEN TOOK! 488 00:19:19,299 --> 00:19:22,302 ANOTHER BUFFALO POINTIN' THE WRONG WAY. 489 00:19:24,171 --> 00:19:26,139 ALL -- ALL RIGHT, SERGEANT. 490 00:19:26,173 --> 00:19:27,474 IF YOU WAS TO SPOT HIM, 491 00:19:27,507 --> 00:19:29,409 I'D 'PRECIATE IF YOU'D LET ME KNOW. 492 00:19:29,442 --> 00:19:32,846 ALL RIGHT, YES. 493 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,214 WELL, HE'S NOT IN RALEIGH. 494 00:19:34,247 --> 00:19:36,249 NOW, WHERE IN THE WORLD COULD MAXWELL HAVE 495 00:19:36,283 --> 00:19:37,851 DISAPPEARED TO IN SIX HOURS? 496 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,087 WELL, YOU'D BETTER GET HIM, HE'S GOT OUR MONEY! 497 00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,055 ALL RIGHT, QUIET! QUIET DOWN, EVERYBODY! 498 00:19:42,089 --> 00:19:43,991 NOW, THIS IS LAWMAN'S WORK. 499 00:19:44,024 --> 00:19:45,158 WE'LL GET HIM. 500 00:19:45,192 --> 00:19:47,394 WE'LL PUT OUT AN ALL POINTS BULLETIN. 501 00:19:47,427 --> 00:19:49,863 WE'LL SET UP ROADBLOCKS EVERYWHERE. 502 00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,198 I'LL GET HIM. 503 00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,533 I'LL TRACK HIM DOWN IF IT TAKES FOREVER. 504 00:19:53,566 --> 00:19:56,970 AND THEN I'M GONNA BRING HIM IN ALIVE, ANDY. 505 00:19:57,004 --> 00:19:58,538 BECAUSE THIS BOY'S MINE. 506 00:19:58,571 --> 00:20:01,875 [ ALL TALKING ANGRILY ] 507 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,010 [ MEN YELLING ] 508 00:20:03,043 --> 00:20:04,878 LET'S DO SOMETHING NOW. 509 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,079 WE WANT ACTION! 510 00:20:06,113 --> 00:20:07,647 WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED, SHERIFF. 511 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,482 YOU'VE INCITED THIS ENTIRE TOWN 512 00:20:09,516 --> 00:20:10,884 AGAINST MR. MAXWELL. 513 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,120 HE DID THE INCITIN' WHEN HE LEFT. 514 00:20:13,153 --> 00:20:16,056 BUT YOU STILL DON'T KNOW THAT HE'S DONE ANYTHING WRONG. 515 00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:17,457 ANYTHING WRONG? 516 00:20:17,490 --> 00:20:19,559 HE STOLE $40 OF MINE! 517 00:20:19,592 --> 00:20:20,627 OH, STOP IT. 518 00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:22,229 HE DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING. 519 00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:24,131 YOU GAVE IT TO HIM TO INVEST. 520 00:20:24,164 --> 00:20:25,465 HE TOOK OFF WITH OUR MONEY. 521 00:20:25,498 --> 00:20:27,000 HE SKIPPED TOWN! HE STOLE IT! 522 00:20:27,034 --> 00:20:29,436 BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW HE WON'T BE BACK? 523 00:20:29,469 --> 00:20:32,005 WE'RE WASTIN' TIME TALKIN', SHERIFF. 524 00:20:32,039 --> 00:20:33,106 LET'S GET ON WITH IT. 525 00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:38,178 [ MEN YELLING ] 526 00:20:38,211 --> 00:20:41,248 HOLD, HOLD, HOLD ON. 527 00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,016 NOW, I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING PHONY 528 00:20:43,050 --> 00:20:44,551 ABOUT THE FELLA JUST TO START WITH, 529 00:20:44,584 --> 00:20:46,920 BUT YOU WAS ALL SO ANXIOUS TO THROW YOUR MONEY AWAY, 530 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,321 YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ANYBODY. 531 00:20:48,355 --> 00:20:50,490 NOW, LET'S JUST QUIET DOWN AND SEE IF WE 532 00:20:50,523 --> 00:20:52,525 CAN'T HANDLE THIS IN AN ORDERLY WAY. 533 00:20:52,559 --> 00:20:53,593 WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK! 534 00:20:53,626 --> 00:20:55,295 [ ALL YELLING ] 535 00:20:55,328 --> 00:20:59,132 WE'LL GET HIM. 536 00:21:10,010 --> 00:21:12,612 MISS WALKER. 537 00:21:12,645 --> 00:21:14,347 MR. MAXWELL... 538 00:21:14,381 --> 00:21:16,049 WHY, I HEARD YOU'D LEFT TOWN. 539 00:21:16,083 --> 00:21:17,484 I DID. I WENT TO RICHMOND. 540 00:21:17,517 --> 00:21:19,152 BUT I'M BACK WITH GOOD NEWS. 541 00:21:19,186 --> 00:21:20,687 HERE. LOOK AT THIS. 542 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,656 I SOLD THE ALBUM TO NATIONAL RECORDS. 543 00:21:23,690 --> 00:21:25,725 THAT'S THE SIGNED CONTRACT. 544 00:21:25,758 --> 00:21:29,429 AND HERE'S THE LITTLE SOMETHING THAT GOES WITH IT. 545 00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:34,501 A CERTIFIED CHECK FOR... $5,000? 546 00:21:34,534 --> 00:21:36,436 THAT'S JUST THE ADVANCE PAYMENT. 547 00:21:36,469 --> 00:21:38,071 THIS IS WONDERFUL. 548 00:21:38,105 --> 00:21:39,706 JUST WONDERFUL! 549 00:21:39,739 --> 00:21:42,609 ISN'T IT? NO, I MEAN IT'S MORE WONDERFUL THAN YOU KNOW. 550 00:21:42,642 --> 00:21:44,444 WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO REPORT THIS 551 00:21:44,477 --> 00:21:45,678 TO YOUR STOCKHOLDERS? 552 00:21:45,712 --> 00:21:48,115 I KNOW WHERE THEY HAPPEN TO BE RIGHT NOW. 553 00:21:48,148 --> 00:21:49,449 OH, GOOD. 554 00:21:49,482 --> 00:21:52,219 SAY, CAN YOU IMAGINE THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES? 555 00:21:52,252 --> 00:21:54,287 YES, I CAN JUST IMAGINE. 556 00:21:54,321 --> 00:21:56,289 COME ON. 557 00:21:59,259 --> 00:22:01,461 NOW, HE COULD HAVE TAKEN THIS ROAD RIGHT HERE 558 00:22:01,494 --> 00:22:03,230 TO GET UP TO THE STATE HIGHWAY. 559 00:22:03,263 --> 00:22:04,764 BUT YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT CARS! 560 00:22:04,797 --> 00:22:06,166 [ ALL ARGUING ] 561 00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:08,435 ALL RIGHT, NOW, COME ON! 562 00:22:08,468 --> 00:22:11,071 YOU FELLAS ARE INTERFERIN' WITH POLICE OPERATIONS. 563 00:22:11,104 --> 00:22:12,072 NOW GET! 564 00:22:12,105 --> 00:22:13,206 GO ON, GET OUTTA HER! 565 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:14,374 LET US DO SOME WORK! 566 00:22:14,407 --> 00:22:15,375 GO ON! 567 00:22:15,408 --> 00:22:17,377 INTERFERIN' WITH POLICE... 568 00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:20,680 [ GASPS ] 569 00:22:23,750 --> 00:22:25,252 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, FLOYD? 570 00:22:25,285 --> 00:22:26,353 IT'S HIM, MAXWELL. 571 00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:27,754 WHAT? HE'S COMIN' THIS WAY. 572 00:22:27,787 --> 00:22:31,458 THE KILLER RETURNS TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME, HUH? 573 00:22:31,491 --> 00:22:33,660 THIS OUGHT TO BE INTERESTIN'. 574 00:22:33,693 --> 00:22:36,063 EVERYBODY JUST ACT NATURAL. 575 00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:41,601 Andy: WELL, MR. MAXWELL. 576 00:22:41,634 --> 00:22:43,470 DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU SO SOON. 577 00:22:43,503 --> 00:22:44,737 NO, WE DIDN'T. 578 00:22:44,771 --> 00:22:46,506 WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, NEITHER DID I. 579 00:22:46,539 --> 00:22:48,608 COME BACK FOR MORE MONEY, DID YOU? 580 00:22:48,641 --> 00:22:52,112 WELL, MONEY WAS ONE OF THE REASONS I CAME BACK. 581 00:22:52,145 --> 00:22:53,513 HERE, SHERIFF, READ THIS. 582 00:22:53,546 --> 00:22:54,781 OH, I DON'T HAVE TO. 583 00:22:54,814 --> 00:22:56,583 WHY, I'M SURE THE PEOPLE AROUND HERE 584 00:22:56,616 --> 00:22:59,386 IS PLEASED WITH THE WAY YOU LET 'EM INVEST THEIR MONEY. 585 00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:01,721 THEY'RE JUST CHAMPIN' AT THE BIT TO PUT IN MORE, AIN'T YA, BOYS? 586 00:23:01,754 --> 00:23:03,423 SURE! YEAH! 587 00:23:03,456 --> 00:23:05,758 BUT, SHERIFF, DON'T YOU EVEN WANT TO LOOK AT THE CONTRACT? 588 00:23:05,792 --> 00:23:07,627 OH, I DON'T HAVE TO. 589 00:23:07,660 --> 00:23:09,662 THERE AIN'T NO REAL NEED. 590 00:23:09,696 --> 00:23:11,664 WHY, THE FOLKS AROUND HERE TRUST YOU. 591 00:23:11,698 --> 00:23:13,666 AIN'T THAT RIGHT, BOYS? 592 00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:15,702 I MUST SAY THIS IS ONE OF THE FANCIEST 593 00:23:15,735 --> 00:23:18,338 OUTFITS I EVER DID SEE -- GOT ALL THE "WHEREASES" 594 00:23:18,371 --> 00:23:20,440 AND THE "HERETOFORES" AND THE "THERETOS" 595 00:23:20,473 --> 00:23:21,708 AND THE NATIONAL RECORD... 596 00:23:21,741 --> 00:23:23,310 NATIONAL RECORDS?! 597 00:23:23,343 --> 00:23:25,745 Ellie: THEY BOUGHT OUR FOLK SONG ALBUM. 598 00:23:25,778 --> 00:23:27,647 SHOW HIM THE CHECK, MR. MAXWELL. 599 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,616 OH, YES, OF COURSE. 600 00:23:32,485 --> 00:23:34,621 Ellie: WHAT'S THE MATTER, ANDY? 601 00:23:34,654 --> 00:23:36,156 A CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE? 602 00:23:36,189 --> 00:23:38,358 I'LL READ IT. 603 00:23:38,391 --> 00:23:41,161 "CERTIFIED $5,000." 604 00:23:41,194 --> 00:23:42,162 CERTIFIED? 605 00:23:42,195 --> 00:23:43,496 CERTIFIED? CERTI... 606 00:23:43,530 --> 00:23:44,697 FIVE THOU-- 607 00:23:44,731 --> 00:23:46,399 Maxwell: THAT'S OUR FIRST DIVIDEND. 608 00:23:46,433 --> 00:23:48,101 MISS WALKER CAN PUT IT IN THE BANK. 609 00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:49,836 AND NOW, GENTLEMEN, I'M GOING UP TO NEW YORK 610 00:23:49,869 --> 00:23:51,304 TO GET OUR ALBUM ROLLING. 611 00:23:51,338 --> 00:23:53,173 AND YOU OWE IT ALL HERE TO YOUR SHERIFF. 612 00:23:53,206 --> 00:23:54,341 HUH? 613 00:23:54,374 --> 00:23:55,775 WELL, AFTER ALL, YOU WERE THE ONE 614 00:23:55,808 --> 00:23:57,777 WHO STEERED ME TO ALL THAT TALENT, AND THE NUMBERS 615 00:23:57,810 --> 00:23:59,779 YOU DID WITH THE BAND TURNED OUT TO BE VERY BIG. 616 00:23:59,812 --> 00:24:02,682 WELL, NOW I BETTER GET OUR COMPANY MOVING. 617 00:24:02,715 --> 00:24:05,318 IN THE MEANTIME, I'LL SEND YOU MONTHLY REPORTS 618 00:24:05,352 --> 00:24:07,354 AND YOUR DIVIDEND CHECK, OF COURSE. 619 00:24:07,387 --> 00:24:08,555 THANKS AGAIN, SHERIFF. 620 00:24:08,588 --> 00:24:10,123 BYE! BYE, MR. MAXWELL! 621 00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:11,624 AND TO THINK IT ALL HAPPENED 622 00:24:11,658 --> 00:24:13,126 BECAUSE OF OUR SHERIFF. 623 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,561 DON'T YOU THINK HE DESERVES 624 00:24:14,594 --> 00:24:15,862 A NICE, BIG PAT ON THE BACK? 625 00:24:15,895 --> 00:24:18,431 OH! 626 00:24:26,239 --> 00:24:28,275 OH, IT'S JUST BEAUTIFUL, ANDY! 627 00:24:28,308 --> 00:24:29,676 BARNEY'LL LIKE THAT. 628 00:24:29,709 --> 00:24:31,811 HE'S A STOCKHOLDER, YOU KNOW. 629 00:24:40,553 --> 00:24:42,822 SHH. 630 00:24:42,855 --> 00:24:45,658 HE'S DIVERSIFYIN'. 44662

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